Tag Archives: subscription boxes

May22

Ipsy | May 2014

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Hi friends.  Hope you’re ready for a beauty box review today.  I have 8 of them left for the month of May and if I am diligent I can finish them all before the 31st.  That’s my goal.  So we’ll see.

Anyway, here’s what I got in my Ipsy bag:

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It’s a mediocre bag.  Well, the bag itself is very adorable.  I love spring and I love green.  I’ll probably end up keeping it.  But the stuff that’s in it isn’t my first pick.  Sometimes I wish I could curate my own bag.  Just give the list of products to choose from, and I’ll take care of the rest.  I know that Beauty Army does that, but their samples are crap.

I’m never happy.

Anyway, let’s start with the Avene Thermal Spring Water.  Back when I first started getting beauty boxes, Birchbox sent me this product, and I promptly tossed it.  I mean, a can of water, really?  But now that I am slightly more versed in the world of makeup and skincare, I know what I can use this for.  If you don’t know, here’s the list:  after shaving, after removing makeup, on sunburns, after surgery, after sports, during travel, diaper rash or redness of the face.  And it’s bottled in France directly from the source, so it’s completely pure.  Sounds fancy right?  Well, I haven’t used it yet so I’m on the fence about if it’s still just a can of water.  But we’ll see.  I plan to use it as a toner after I cleanse my face and before serum/moisturizer.  I may also take it with me when I do hard labor outside in the 100-degree heat.

Are you laughing?  I am.  I never do hard labor.  I have princess hands.

Next product is the Balanced Guru No Frizz Oil for hair.  I’ve used this a couple of times already, and it does alright.  It’s supposed to take away the frizz in your hair, which I suppose it does for the most part.  I’m not wowed, if you can’t tell.  I just have so many hair oils, like eons and eons worth, that getting a product like this just puts me right to sleep.  I’ll use it but it will be more dutiful than pleasureable.

Speaking of sleeping, how about a tube of Hang Ten SPF 50?  So. Boring.  I know it’s a necessary item to own, but it’s zero fun.  It’s not anything special like my Cotz or Coola.  It’s the plain, classic sunscreen that was forced upon you as a child by your mom (never your dad), enduring a torturous rubdown of arms, legs, and Erlack!, face, while all your friends were splashing unprotectedly in the creek without you.  It’s that kind.  Pass.

One product I wasn’t sure I wanted but now kind of glad I own is the Boo-Boo Cover Up.  I believe it’s marketed primarily as a concealer for scratches, bruises and the like.  But it works great under the eye to cover dark circles.  After all, dark circles are virtually big ugly bruises.  I’ve been using it all week and so far so good.

Last item is an eyeshadow duo from Pacifica.  There were two colors that Ipsy was sending out – a gold/pink and a white/purple.  I was hoping for the purple one because I have only a billion gold varieties, and thankfully that’s what I got.  Wore it the other day, and I will say it is much more pigmented in the pan than on the eyelid.  I built up the color as much as I could, and got a pretty good look out of it, but it did take a little effort.  You know I don’t have time for effort in the mornings.  I spend 30 minutes on my eyeshadow already as it is.  Any longer, and I may as well just call in sick.  So this eyeshadow may be set aside for weekends only.

Alright, I’m finished.  Seven more boxes to review, nine days to do it in.  Can I make it?  We shall see.  Have a good evening!

May20

New Beauty Test Tube | May 2014

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Came back from vacation and I had FIVE beauty boxes waiting for me – four of them shoved into my mailbox.  How the mailman was able to achieve that feat is beyond me because getting them out of my mailbox about dislocated my shoulder.  But completely worth it.  Because BEAUTY BOXES.  A lot of them.

However, I am severely behind on reviews this month.  I’ve been so busy for some reason.  Can’t I just do nothing for the rest of my life please?  I hate errands and housework.  Only want couches, pajamas and nappy time.  Please and thank you.

So here is what came in my New Beauty Test Tube:

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This is always my favorite one because there’s tons of stuff in the box.  And most of the time I will use every single thing.  But let’s start with something I probably won’t use and go from there, shall we?  It’s the TanTowel.  I’m sure those of you who know me be thinking I’m insane not to want to use this product.  But it’s not that I don’t want to use it, it’s that I’m so incredibly lazy that I can’t even be bothered.  Yes I have white legs.  Yes they scare small children.  But I don’t want to consciously be thinking about pre-tanning exfoliation, applying the towel to my body in a careful and streak-free manner, taking the time to air dry before touching anything of value.  And then stress for the next five hours in fear I’ve botched the whole thing and my 8th grade orange, streaky field trip legs will come back to haunt me.  It’s too much anxiety.

Things get better, though.  I’ve always wanted to try a Mally shadow stick, and I finally got one.  They sent me the Taupe shade, which I think is perfect for me.  I like to start out safe before venturing out into something more daring like purple or green.  I wore this to the zoo on Mother’s Day, which naturally was 125 degrees (or 80, but who can tell?), but you’d never know it by looking at my eyelids.  No creasing, no smudging.  Just pretty.  I may try out some more colors now that Mally is being sold inside Ulta.

Remember a few months ago when Birchbox sent me a sample of the Jergens BB Body Cream and I gave it to my mom because it was the least exciting sample I could part with?  Well, I got another one.  I’ve decided I’m okay with this repeat (because I make up exceptions to my own rules; we’ve discussed this).  I’ve been hearing a lot of raves on this product, and I felt out of the loop since I had given it away.  I hate feeling out of the loop!  Ninety-five percent of what I own is loop based.  Serious – you write a book and it wins some kind of literary award, I instantly want to read it.  I don’t care if it’s a 976-page-long doorstop about the Prussian War, if somebody said it’s amazing, I. MUST. SEE.  And my brain won’t leave me alone about it.  So I do what I’m told.  I’m such a good girl.

Got two little tubes of Revision Intellishade tinted moisturizer – one normal and one matte.  I wore the matte one on the aforementioned day at the zoo.  And despite the heat, the sweat, and my daughter constantly spraying me in the face with one of those mister fans, my face still looked pretty good. In short, it’s magic makeup. And it won a New Beauty award.  If that’s not enough persuasion, you may want to consult someone about your mental illness.  It is dire.

The little jar of Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair hair mask was cuter than it was effective.  It was a decent conditioner, but I didn’t think it did anything special.  My Carol’s Daughter is so much better than this in smell, strengthening, softness.  Luckily, it was a 2-time-use product for me, so I am done with it.  Kaput!  Goodbye.

Now for some shampoo.  Or should I say “shampoo” … Received a can of cleansing conditioner by Macadamia called Flawless.  It’s a shampoo and conditioner rolled into one that has zero sudsing effect whatsoever.  It’s like washing your hair with lotion.  It’s scary as hell.  Raise your hand if you need suds.  I do, I just do!  Suds means soap, and soap means clean.  However, once I settle myself down, it does actually clean your hair.  I pump two huge dollops (can’t help myself; trying to create suds out of a sudsless product) and smear it all through my hair.   I go through the motion of shampooing, no suds (sad face), then rinse.  So I will finish this product without fear.  But I will not repurchase.  I feel like it doesn’t do a better job than normal shampoo, and I prefer normal shampoo.  I need soap bubbles floating in my bath water.  I need to see the fruits of my labors.  I know very well it is psychological brain trickery, but I don’t care.  I also can’t eat green ketchup.  Sue me.

Look at that little teeny tiny tube of Yu-Be skin cream.  Why, it’s just a baby!  This is one of those all-purpose skin creams that you can use pretty much anywhere on your body.  I gave it to my husband so he can put it on his feet, particularly on his heels where they are very dry and cracky.  He did not like it one bit.  Said I’m messing with what he refers to as his “working man’s feet.”  I refer to them as BLECH.  However, because the tube is so tiny there’s only a two time supply, so I will have to live with his heels scratching the satin on my bedspread for nigh on eternity.

Last product in the box is a Birchbox repeat.  Got the Camille Beckman glycerine hand therapy in Midnight Monarch.  Luckily, I love this stuff.  After my Birchbox sample, I bought a full-size tube and I use it almost every night right before bed.  So I brought this smaller tube to work with me, and I use it several times a day.  I smell like a 15th century Turkish harem.  I am delicious.

Okay, that’s all.  I have a billion other boxes to go love and appreciate, so I’ll see you next time.

May15

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | May 2014

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I’ve been getting beauty boxes so long, I’m starting to get repeats more often.  Sometimes it’s fine if it’s a really nice moisturizer or a serum that I loved.  But other times when it’s gray nail polish or beige lipgloss, I immediately want to take a nap.  If we’re doing repeats, don’t send boring stuff.  Please.

Here’s my Blush box, repeats and all:

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The first item isn’t technically a repeat, although I’ve gotten three of these things in different versions.  It’s a Bioxidea hand treatment.  At first I was kind of okay with it – it contains a pair of gloves filled with serum that you wear for 30 minutes that’s supposed to transform your hands into miracles of nature.  Sounds alright.  But then I don’t really have bad or damaged hands at this point in my life.  I mean, I have crepey knuckle skin but that’s not a skin condition.  So I’ve decided I’ll give it to mom instead.  Not that she has a skin condition, but she is older and will probably appreciate it more than me.  Or at least she better, cuz it’s valued at $18.

Next repeat is a true repeat.  It’s the Miracle Skin Transformer Face which is like a tinted moisturizer.  I got a sample of this back in the fall – from Blush, oddly enough, so not only is it a repeat, but it’s from the same box.  Who’s in charge of the spreadsheet cuz we need to talk.

Having said all that, I do like the product.  A little goes a very long way, so the sample tube lasted me eons.  The texture is a cream to powder finish and feels very nice on the skin.  But I’ve moved on to other things, and I don’t want to sample this again.

But then!  A girl on my Instagram told me there several of her friends that got expired tubes.  I checked mine, and it expired two months ago.  Ew.  No thank you.  I’m not sure what Blush is going to do; I have a ticket open with them as we speak.  I’m thinking a gift card would be nice but I’m almost 97.8967576% certain I’ll get another (fresh) tube of Miracle Skin Transformer.  Here’s my face:  -__-

The featured product in the box this month is a blush duo by Glo Minerals.  The shade I got was Terra Cotta which had a pinkish peach shade on one side and a nudey shade on the other.  I swirled them together and created a custom color, and it turned out pretty nice.  That’s probably how I’ll do it from now on because each side of the duo is small and getting a blush brush in there might be kind of hard.  Unless you apply blush with a tiny brush, and if you do, I question your motives.

And now for another repeat – the pur-lisse Hydra Balance moisturizer.  I just got this from Boxycharm like last month, and I am currently, actively using it.  Plus, Blush had sent me the pur-lisse moisturizer with sunscreen back in the fall as well.  So not only is this a repeat, but it’s a current repeat AND a semi box repeat.  It’s a trifecta repeat.  How rare is that?  Hopefully very rare because I can’t take much more of these shenanigans.

On the plus side, it’s a nice light moisturizer.  I use it in the mornings and it sinks in pretty quick.  It also has a value of $55 which is more than the cost of the beauty box.  Technically, according to etiquette books, I should shut the ef up.

Not big on cream eyeshadows, receiving the Laura Gellar Cool Lids was not a thrill.  And then getting a silver color, albeit not a beige one, was even less exciting.  But I’m going to figure out a way to enjoy it nonetheless.  I was wearing a dark pink eyeshadow over the weekend, and as a random side, about 12 hours later I dabbed a little of this silver in the center of my lid.  It blended pretty well, and highlighted my eyeball in a not-weird way.  So there might be some hope for it.  I’ll play around a bit more before I decide to keep it for life.

Last product, and possibly the best one, is this facial oil from Peter Thomas Roth called Oilless Oil.  It’s 100% purified squalane if that means anything to you rocket scientists out there.  Apparently it’s an oil without the greasy oil feel.  Or maybe it’s not an oil, but acts like an oil?  I dunno.  It’s squalane.  There, is that better?

No.

What I do know is that you apply one drop to your face as your moisturizer because they say it is very rich, and if you need more to only add one drop at a time.  You can also apply it to your hair, cuticles and elbows, which I probably won’t because that’s too much trouble to me.  However, at the rate of one drop at a time, I could be using this bottle for the next 15 years.  I’m actually excited about trying it, so I might get to it pretty soon.

That’s it.  Box is over.  But don’t worry, there’s more boxes upcoming.  I have two others I’ve already gotten, and four have shipped this week.  I’m going out of town for the weekend, so you may not hear from me until Monday.  Just FYI, in case you worry about me.

Have a great day everyone!

May4

Beauty DNA | April 2014

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How about a short and sweet review for your Sunday? It’s really nice out today and I feel I should sit outside and enjoy it for a bit. I’ll admit I tend to be a little hermit-y on weekends. In fact, it’s 6pm right now and I’m still wearing my pajamas.

Well! That’s what Sundays are for, pretty sure. Rest, relaxation, and periodically wearing pants.

So here is what I got in my Beauty DNA box this month:

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It’s a hair mask from Lea Journo. I was so excited to get this. I already have a hair mask that I honestly love (the Carol’s Daughter with monoi oil), but I’m always eager to try new stuff. Hence the hoarding mass I’ve collected and deposited in both our bathrooms. Just marking my territory. No big deal.

I absolutely love Beauty DNA. This is an amazing subscription service. It cost $25 and you get one full size product. The profile you fill out is so detailed that there is no way in hell you’re getting something you don’t want. If you do, you filled out your profile wrong, and shame on you.

They alternate categories each month so you’ll get either a hair, body or skincare product and then the cycle repeats. I’ve gotten two boxes – skin and hair – so next month will be body. And whatever they send, I know it will be my brand new favorite.

But back to the Lea Journo hair mask. You can use this twice a week which is perfect because that’s how many times I wash my hair. Meant to be? I think so. In comparison to the Carol’s Daughter, it doesn’t smell as good but it still smells good.

I used it on my hair tonight and it was very creamy. My hair feels very soft, and hopefully in the morning I won’t have to work as hard. Maybe I won’t have to do anything but a quick comb-through. Wouldn’t that be a dream? Unfortunately, I don’t have the proper texture of hair to not have to flatiron. Unless lumpy frizzy hair is the look I’m going for.

I’m looking forward to what’s next up for Beauty DNA. I enjoy this box so much. I have a feeling after I end up canceling every box I subscribe to (hypothetical situation, of course) I will still keep Beauty DNA around. They are legit, people.

You may go sign up now.

May3

Glossybox | April 2014

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It’s Saturday night, my OKC Thunder just won, and I’ve got a belly full of pizza. What more do I need in life?

Makeup. And skincare. Always always always. Then after that, Im pretty much set.

Here’s my Glossybox:

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Can we say big fat poo? I was so superly disappointed in the box this month. I’m not excited about one item, and I don’t even know what one item even is. Let me explain.

That tall stick thing is an eyeshadow sealer by LASplash. A what now? Eyeshadow sealer. Mmmm k. I guess it’s like a glue of some kind to hold your loose glitter and shimmer shadows to your eyeball. Did you just fall asleep cuz I sure did. I will never use this. Delete. Moving on.

Next boo is this Aqua Spa body creme. You can buy this at Walmart. If I really wanted it, I’d go buy it myself. The whole point of subscribing to beauty boxes (other than opening Christmas presents eleven times a month) is receiving brands that are not easy to get, or brands I’ve never heard of. Not brands that I could buy while shopping in my pajamas on a late night emergency tampon run.

On a positive note, this is the best thing in the box. Yes, it’s all downhill from here.

Speaking of brands available at Walmart, I got a body wash from Caldrea that I swear to you I almost bought at Target the day before. Luckily, I opted for a different body wash or else what would be the point of this one?

I did actually use this so it isn’t going to waste. Although they sent me the tea olive lime scent which does not transport me to a tropical island in any way whatsoever. Gah! Would it kill you to put coconut in everything please?! Do I need to be CEO to get things done around here? Apparently so.

How many times have I received a Bellapierre item in one of my boxes? I can’t even tell you. I just feel like I get something from them at least once a month, mostly in the form of mineral shadows. Snoring! Well this time they sent lipgloss, which at first I was like another gold lipgloss? But then I shut my yap long enough to use it and it’s really lovely. It’s like a gold with some coppery rose in it. Purty! And not sticky either, which is nice.

Last product in the box is this horrid white nail polish by Ciate. Yes, they sent me white nail polish and it looks exactly as if I’ve been transported back to 7th grade when all the girls would paint their nails with Whiteout. Want proof? Here ya go:

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Straight up Whiteout. Do you know how many colors this stuff comes in? I don’t know, but there are 13 pages of it on their website. Thirteen pages of colors, and I got the white one. My life hates me.

They do have a white chocolate nail polish remover that intrigues me very much. But that’s beside the point.

The point is I’m very tired now. More tomorrow. Good night friends!

May2

Petit Vour | April 2014

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I’m trying very hard to get caught up on my box reviews because guess what’s on their way to me right now? May boxes. I’m inundated. It’s so hard to be me, you guys. So. Hard.

Here’s Petit Vour:

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This box has never failed to impress me. I’m usually very in love with it. They aren’t perfect – none of them are – but they’re pretty dang close.

Favorite item in the box is the eyeshadow quad by Lily Lolo. What kind of name is Lily Lolo? I don’t know, but it kind of makes me want to buy everything they make.

Yes I’m that kind of person. Clever names suck me in every time. If you name your business something interesting, my cat ears perk up immediately. But if you use your initials and call yourself A&B’s Makeup or something similar, that is NOT interesting. Not even for a second.

Now that that’s cleared up, how about we segue into an item that is also not interesting. Perfume. Here’s my face when it saw that big ole poo: -__-

See? Snoozefest. But if you’re curious, it’s called Yogini by Harvey Prince and it didn’t stink very much. That’s high praise coming from me.

Now for some better stuff, I got a skin elixir moisturizer oil thing from Jane Scrivner. I haven’t used a moisturizer that is like a facial oil before so I’m actually intrigued. It says it absorbs easily, and that’s my main concern. We shall see. I’ll keep you posted.

Last item in the box is a cream cleanser from Kimberly Parry. I am sort of indifferent about this item because it’s not as creamy as I think it should be. And if I think it should be, it should be. Well! Creamy does not mean not creamy does it? Or even semi-creamy? No, it does not. I win. Let’s all agree.

Having said all that, it does a fine job of cleaning. I put on a sample of Kat Von D super duper full coverage foundation last night (at Sephora, my new home) and this cleanser got every last drop of it off like a champ. So while not particularly creamy like lotion as you might expect, it’s still pretty good.

More box fun and haul items coming up this weekend. Oh and my April empties. But first I gotta scoop cat poop and do two-nights-ago’s dishes. See, told you being me was hard.

May1

Lip Factory | April 2014

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No better way to celebrate May 1st by reviewing a box I got in April. Yes, I’m behind. No hate, just love. Thanks.

Here’s my Lip Factory box:

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I’m about 1/2 and 1/2 about this box. Maybe 3/4 and 1/4, because I do not like most of the items. I feel rude when I say that, but I’m not in charge of what goes in the boxes. Unfortunately.

First thing is a good one. I own several of these NYX butter lip glosses. Thankfully they sent me a color I didn’t already have and it’s also not atrocious (like orange orange or clear). So I’m happy about receiving this.

I am not head over heels for the Ofra lipstick. I do not hate, it’s more of a ho hum pigs bum situation. They sent me the color #107 which is a bright raspberry pink. And I have so many lipsticks in this shade that adding another one was a major could-care-less event. In fact, I need to sigh again right now because I bored myself just typing all this out. Next.

Be A Bombshell sent me a purple eyeshadow crayon. For my old crepey eyelids. Mmmmm, NO. I’ve never gotten into cream eyeshadows, and I sure as hell ain’t starting with a purple one. Unless big bruised eyeball is the look I’m going for.

But then I got another Be A Bombshell item and this one I just love! It’s the single pan eyeshadow in a beautiful teal color. I wore this the other day and – I’ll just be honest with you – I stared at myself virtually all day. I went out of my way, took alternate diagonal, crisscross-y routes just to look in a mirror. I was addicted to myself. Don’t judge. I looked fabulous.

But the excitement couldn’t last all day because I got a brown pencil eyeliner from Jesse’s Girl that I could buy at Dollar Tree from here to eternity. I haven’t tried it so I suppose I shouldn’t be so hateful. There are a lot of nice products out there for $1.99 – Jordana is the first brand that comes to mind. Or Milani. So perhaps Jesse’s Girl is just as good. I’ll let you know.

Last product in the box is a big fat DELETE. Unless I’m in the mood to wear dark gray nail polish, or nail polish in general, this item gets immediately re-gifted. Sorry, Color Club. You could’ve at least been lavender or pastel green or something more cheerful. It is spring after all.

So this box wasn’t the best. I’m usually pretty happy with Lip Factory but not this time. Surely they’ll bounce back next month, and we can put this hideous incident behind us.

On a positive note, Sephora opened up inside my JCPenney and I’m headed there tonight! So excite! If you don’t hear from me for a few days, I’m probably still there buying all the things. No need to send out a search crew. I’m already home.

Apr27

Birchbox | April 2014

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I’ve been sitting here thinking about purchasing the Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua foundation, and I’m trying very hard to ignore myself. Figured it would be a fine time to do a blog.

Got my Birchbox recently. Here’s the stats:

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Oh look, another black eyeliner. I’ve hit the motherlode this month. This one is from Cynthia Rowley. And I’ve never owned anything by Cynthia Rowley. So in my effort to own all the things, I’m completely fine with this item. I used it several times last week on my upper lid and it is very black, smooth and stays put all day. Approved! Put it on your shopping list.

The little envelope thingie is a collection of body and face scrubs and facial oil by Nyakio. I was so excited to get this. It’s their coffee scent, and anything that smells like coffee I am immediately interested. I love coffee. I mean, I really really love it. I put pants on today and drove to Starbucks in the middle of a tornado warning because I love it that much. Probably not the best idea in terms of common sense, but I never said I had common sense. But I do love coffee! As we have established.

What was my point? I dunno.

I got the cutest little cheek and lip stain sample from theBalm. The full size has six colors, but the sample is just one color and mine is in the shade Pie. I have applied this as a cream blush, and it’s very pretty. The packaging is adorable so even if you aren’t a fan of cream blush or feel like using it as a lip tint, you can buy it cuz it has half naked men on the inside. Hooray!

Got another little can of Klorane dry shampoo. Normally I don’t like repeats but this is a good one so I’ll allow. I already claim Batiste as my holy grail dry shampoo, so there’s really no reason to spend an extra $10 for the Klorane one unless you just want to. Do what makes you happy. If that means forgoing electric bill for a new bottle of Chanel foundation so be it.

Last product in the box is a granola bar from Kind. I was sort of okay with it because for one, it’s not tea, and for two, I don’t hate granola. But then I saw they sent me the maple pumpkin seed flavor, and I about took a nap. Whyyyyyyyeeeee? Doesn’t any of this organic stuff come in chocolate? Do I need to be CEO of yet another company?

I decided to take the Kind bar to work with me as a mid-afternoon snack because when 3pm rolls around, I’ll pretty much eat anything. And in their defense, it was actually pretty tasty. Fiiiiiine. I’ll be good now.

All in all this was a pretty good box. Granted, I would’ve preferred a beauty product instead of the granola, but apparently I’m not in charge of the box contents. Which is a tragic shame in my opinion.

About to take off my makeup and do a little skincare therapy. Best part of the night. See ya tomorrow!

Apr23

Boxycharm | April 2014

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Oh, Boxycharm.  One month they’re up, the next month they’re down.  And sometimes they’re smack dab in the middle like now.  You properly on the edge of your seat with anticipation?  Yes?  Then we shall begin:

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So I got this very large bottle of Coolway Glow Finishing Oil that I will most likely never use.  Hooray!  I dunno, I just never get too excited about hair styling products since I never have time in the morning to do anything other than comb my hair.  Seriously, I wash it in the evening, straighten it the next morning and then just comb it for 3 days until it’s time to wash it again.

I may be the laziest person on the planet.

Granted there is nothing to using this product other than pumping out a dime-size dollop and smoothing it through your hair.  I could easily bring it to work with me and do it at my desk because it literally takes about 1% effort.  So because of that statistic, and that statistic alone, I am keeping it.

Next I got this liquid lipstick from Ofra in a super bright pink color.  I’m kind of not interested because I don’t really like bright pink lipstick.  And also it smells like it’s trying to be cake, but they didn’t quite make it so instead it smells just weird.  I may sound a skosh nitpicky, but I feel so strongly about it that I actually took the time to look up how to spell skosh. When I could’ve just said any other normal word such as bit, or tad, or even itty bitty.  You know it’s serious business when I do extra work like that.

On a positive note, the tube claims it will last 5 hours despite drinking and eating.  If that’s important to you.

And then I got an even less interesting item in the form of a nail polish from Bellapierre.  Ehhhhhhh. Delete.  However, I must give them credit for sending me a color that’s named Cotton Candy instead of what I’ve been getting recently (not named Gloomy Shitty Day, but could’ve been).  Gray just isn’t a spring color to me.  Pink is.  But I already own a Butter London pink polish, so this Bellapierre one is redundant to me.

Remember yesterday when I told you I got an onslaught of eyeliners in my boxes this month.  That ain’t no lie.  Got this ModelCo one with a built in sharpener.  If you’re counting, you are my OCD twin and I love you.  Also, you’d know that it’s my fourth, not counting the two boxes I haven’t reviewed yet which would make it six.  Plus I have two more boxes that haven’t even gotten here yet, so there could be eight for all I know.  That’s enough eyeliner to trace the eyes of all the little babies in China.  Ridiculous.

Sounds like I hated this box, but I didn’t really.  Especially not after receiving the last product, the beautiful, gorgeous peach bellini blush by ModelCo.  It is stunning!  I had such lovely visions of wearing this blush, my cheeks delicate and summery, like an milkmaid or a princess.  Wind is probably flowing through my hair.  Maybe I’m sitting in a lush green field making daisy crowns.  Or I quite possibly could be lying in a hammock daydreaming.  Or on the back of a white stallion splashing through the shoreline of the Irish side of the Atlantic.  Perhaps I’m yodeling down a mountain in Austria.  Wait, that’s Maria von Trapp.

Well, whatever the case may be, I’m definitely 20 pounds thinner.

But then someone (i.e., me) knocked the blush off the arm of the couch and it went spiralling to it’s tragic, hideous death.  Blush, disintegrated into a thousand billion pieces.  Not even the rubbing alcohol trick could have put this thing back together.  It simply no longer lived.  And that’s the end of that.

Now that my daydreams have been crushed (literally), I’m going to go sob in a corner somewhere.  I’m trying to get another one, but it comes from Australia and the shipping is almost as much as the item itself.  And no one is selling it on eBay.  So it’s proving to be a struggle.  I’m working on it though, so hopefully I can report back with good news very soon.

Bye friends!

Apr22

Ipsy | April 2014

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Guess what?  Another box.

Well, it’s the way we do it at my house.  If there’s a day that goes by that there isn’t a box on my front porch, someone probably stole it.

So here is this month’s Ipsy:

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Not bad.  There’s always a poo poo though.  This time it’s the Dr. Brandt microdermabrasion.  Let me clarify that the product isn’t bad or anything, it’s just I had already received a tube of this several months back in my Birchbox and I’m not in the mood for repeats.  If you’re curious, however, it does exfoliate pretty good. And now you know everything you need to know about this product.  Moving right along.

I’ve always wanted to own something by Cailyn, and now I do – it’s the tinted lip balm in the color Apple Pink.  At first I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it because the color looked beige-y orange in the pot.  But then I applied it and let me just say I heart it so much! It’s actually a nice pastel orange and once I add a little sheer gold lipgloss on top the color turns glorious. And I swear it makes my face skin look more youthful. Yes, I said face skin. It’s a thing.

You won’t even believe what I’m about to say. Get ready for the shock of your life. I got this Demeter perfume roller ball thingie, and it about sent me to sleep because perfume = blah. But I did my do-diligence and gave it a little sniffy anyway. And, I’ll admit … sheepishly … I am in full-fledged cahoots with this perfume. I luuuuuub it! The label says it’s Jasmine scent but it smelled just like honeysuckle to me. And honeysuckle reminds me of the time I made out with a boy in the bushes at daycare when I was 7. First off, it wasn’t a proper make-out so it’s ok. And secondly, they weren’t very good babysitters. They also smoked cigarettes at the lunch table. They’re not in business anymore. (And I turned out just fine. Mostly.)

And since I can never leave well enough alone, I received my 53rd Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner to add to the collection. I’m not in charge of what gets put in the boxes, obviously (hence microdermabrasion). But this is the Velvet version, whatever that means. I’m not sure it’s any different or better than all the others I own. I put it on my waterline and it didn’t last an hour. But these work really well on the upper lid so I suppose I’ll just do that then.

I bored myself just now. Sorry. Well, in my defense there’s been an onslaught of black eyeliners in my beauty boxes this month. Is there some sort of supply and demand situation happening that I’m unaware of? Cuz honestly, I’m okay. No need to send me your entire stock of eyeliner. I’m set for at least a trillion years.

Last product in the box is a very boring champagne eyeshadow from Elizabeth Mott. Is there anyone left in the world that can say they don’t already own a champagne colored eyeshadow? Nomads, cave women maybe. But normal people? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still gonna use it. It’s pretty. Just slightly redundant. But if anyone wants to send me something turquoise or maybe periwinkle, that’d be great.

Well I’m done now. Gotta go sit in the bathtub for an hour and a half. Enjoy your evening!