Tag Archives: beauty boxes

Jul25

Sample Society | July 2014

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It’s Friday, everybody!  We are at the end of the work week.  Does this excite you as much as it does me?  Am I the biggest dork in all the land?  Probably.  But if you’re not excited it’s Friday, I am concerned about your mental health.

Here’s my Sample Society in a photo of exceptional quality:

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Sample Society has been relaunched with the start of this box.  Other than the color of the actual box, I’m not sure what that means.  Hopefully better products with an even balance of makeup and skincare. However, there was a dadgum perfume sample in there, so it doesn’t bode well.  We shall see.

Let’s go ahead and get the perfume out of the way.  It is Aqua Universalis from Maison Francis Kurkdjian, and the first thing I did was go who, what?  I’ve never heard of him/that, but it’s pricey as shit so it must be luxury.  Wish I cared.  But for those curious, the scent is bergamot and lemon, Lily of the Valley, orange and musky wood.  Smells just like all the other perfumes I’ve gotten in my boxes lately, because I don’t even bother to differentiate them.  Do. Not. Want.

Next.

And to make it even better, I got my other un-favorite – a bottle of nail polish.  Serious, whhhhyyyyyeeee does my life hate me?!  It’s Butter London in the shade Champers, which is actually quite pretty, so I suppose I’ll go ahead and keep it, but it barely squeaked by and not without my fair share of pouting.  Has anyone ever actually finished a bottle of nail polish?  I sure haven’t.  I’m pretty sure there are billions of half empty bottles just filling up landfills all willy nilly and polluting the Earth with their noxious fumes.  I’m about 97.96686% certain I’m saving the planet by not liking nail polish.  And that should make me Queen, at the very least.

Okay, now that I’ve finally depressed everyone to tears, how about some good news?  Got this hair mask from Fekkai that I really  like.  It’s their PrX Reparatives mask, and it worked pretty good.  Granted, I still love my Carol’s Daughter the most but I will use and finish the Fekkai one and enjoy the results.  The smell was very clean, and the texture was about medium-thick and creamy.  After I dried my hair, I could tell it looked smoother and less frizzy.  Not every product I try does this, so kudos to Mr. Fekkai.  Probably won’t repurchase though because that’s how devoted I am to Carol’s Daughter.  That had a skosh of lezzie in it, but you know what I mean.

Next up is the L’oreal ColourRiche Extraordinaire lip colour in the shade Coral Encore.  This is a very pretty color and super shiny.  The card in the box says this is supposed to smell like cotton candy, but mine didn’t.  In fact, it didn’t smell like any kind of candy.  So either someone’s idea of cotton candy is drastically skewed, or my lipstick is broken.  Either way, though, I do like this product.  It is kind of sticky; it collects at the inner edge of my lips in a not-so-attactive kind of way.  But it’s not so horrid as to keep me from using it.  The applicator on this thing is ultra bendy, like it’s on its last leg or something.  However, it’s soft and not bothersome or anything.  I’ll keep it.

Last product is the grand finale:  Laura Mercier Matte Baked Highlighter.  I love Laura Mercier’s products.  I could’ve hated everything else in this box, but the inclusive of Laura-Mercier-anything would have saved its life.  I have really been enjoying this highlighter.  But it is NOT matte.  I don’t even know why they called it that.   No, it’s not overly shimmery; yes, it looks very natural and fresh on the skin; but no, it is not matte by any definition of the word.  So that is a little misleading.  Regardless, though, I love it and will use it til I hit pan in about 15 years.  I don’t use highlighter that often.  That’s my own problem.

Aaack.  We’re at the end.  Time to get into pajamas and enjoy the weekend.  I have a couple of boxes waiting for me when I get home as well, which means I now have a total of 5 boxes left to review this month.  Annnnnd, it’s July 25.  I’m a really good blogger with horrible time management issues.

But adorable.  So all is forgiven.  Weeeee!

Jul20

Ipsy | July 2014

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I am reading a book right now about a broken vagina.

Just wanted to tell you that.  Here’s my Ipsy:

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You know, I’m kind of looking forward to the fall boxes.  Because I don’t think I can take another sunscreen/suntan lotion.  Do these people not know me?  I don’t go outside unless someone pushes me.  And I mean literally pushes me, like out the door and then locks it.  Otherwise, I’m the girl sitting on the couch in pajamas watching Orange is the New Black.

So that is why this Hang Ten tanning oil is immediately regifted.  What is the point of SPF 8 anyway?  Might as well be melted butter.  At least for my skin anyway.  I’m super pale. From like the knees down, it’s beyond ridiculous.  My dad had the same problem.  Looked decent up top, but put on a pair of shorts and Erlack!  Everyone’s blind.

Another product that is probably useful, but not for the intention labeled on the tube is this Lavilin Jojoba Gel Cream.  You apply this cooling cream after strenuous activity.  I stared at it for a second, and then laughed and laughed and laughed.  Unless walking from my cubicle to the copy machine is considered strenuous activity, it’s a high possibility I will never use this cream.  Except I’ve decided I’ll use it after bathing as a moisturizer.  Certainly my skin won’t fall off if I use as un-directed?

At this point, I’m getting very very sleepy. Looked at this little bottle of lip and cheek stain by Elizabeth Mott (called Tints & Sass complete with what I imagine to be Jazz Hands!), and immediately crawled into bed. I dunno, y’all. I already have a Benefit and TheBalm one that both do the exact same thing as this and I never ever use them. The stain is very bright fuchsia on my lips, and it’s annoying as hell to put liquid blush on my cheeks. But in fairness, I gave it one shot this weekend to wow me, instantly went nope, delete and tossed this thing in my regift pile. Neeeeeext.

Bare Minerals has came out with these new little cream eyeshadows, which as you know I don’t enjoy hardly at all. However, I love Bare Minerals so wanted to keep an open mind in case it turned my life around or something. I’m not sure what color I got because I couldn’t find it labeled anywhere, but it was like a medium taupe. I applied it on my old lady eyes, and because it was matte, it didn’t make me look ridiculous. Then I put a satin taupe eyeshadow on top, and it really made the color stand out. I liked it a lot, more than any other cream eyeshadow I’ve ever tried. Now I’m not gonna go nutso and buy a whole bunch of em, but I’m considering getting a skin tone one at the very least. I wouldn’t be surprised if something like that exact scenario happened this weekend. Nope. Wouldn’t surprise me at all.

Last product in the box is the lifesaver of a mediocre haul. Everyone in the world owns a tube of the Benefit They’re Real mascara. Even I owned this about 2 years ago when I wandered into Ulta and asked for the best mascara to help my itty bitty lashes. But I recall not caring for the mascara at all. Didn’t feel like it did much for me, or at least not as far as my expectations went. And removing it was a nightmare. However, that was before I really started to get into makeup, and Ulta was just another store in the mall. Might as well have been a Foot Locker for as much excitement it evoked in me. Plus, I didn’t know how to apply mascara in a way that made any sense.

Fast forward to now and all the things I’ve learned. I spent a minimum of 10 minutes carefully and meticulously sweeping, wiggling from root to tip, and blinking my lashes over the mascara wand. This is my new tried-and-true method; it works miracles on me. And man, was it glorious. They’re Real truly is a great mascara and does exactly as it says – now since I can apply it properly. And removing it didn’t seem as difficult as it had before. Granted, two years ago I never washed off my makeup so the mascara probably cured itself to my lashes. Well. Live and learn.

Headed to bed to read more of my book. If you’re curious, it’s called The Camera My Mother Gave Me by Susanna Kaysen and it’s a true story about a broken vagina. No. That’s not a typo.

Night night!

Jul18

New Beauty Test Tube | July 2014

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Oh my gawd, it’s Friday. I’ve waited for this day since this past Sunday. I really love my weekends. Like if I could go from Sunday straight to Friday, that would be my ideal week situation.

Here’s my New Beauty Test Tube:

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I always enjoy getting this box. Everything in it is always a surprise, and there’s lots of stuff. It’s not always all great stuff, but I love surprises nonetheless.

First thing I got was a leave-in conditioner from BioSilk. It’s for color treated hair, which I don’t have. I know I can still use it because it won’t make my hair revolt in a falling-out sort of way, but I’m gonna regift it to my mom who does indeed have color treated hair and would appreciate it more than me. Although I did use it and I liked how soft it made my hair feel. But I am nothing if not unselfish. I may not have a Bachelor’s Degree like my little sister, but I have free beauty products and that’s pretty much the same thing.

Oh look, my favorite. It’s a one-time use packet. Luckily the product, GrandeFace Lift, is an instant gratification anti-aging fluid that erases fine lines, wrinkles and pores within two minutes. Does that scare anybody else? I know I’m all about instant results, but how does it manage all that so quickly? I haven’t decided if I want to use it or pass it along to my mother who is not afraid of anything. I mean, she runs half marathons without peeing her pants, certainly she can handle a little voodoo upon her face.

Got a teeny tiny jar of Ole Henriksen eye gel. I’m very excited to use this because just looking at it makes me happy. It’s a blue gel that reminds me of that aloe vera stuff you put on after your sunburn, and that stuff feels ahhhmazing. So I have high hopes this eye gel feels much the same. And I’m not very interested in being disappointed. Thanks.

I’m not a huge fan of CC cream because it doesn’t offer enough coverage for my splotchy skin. But this Lumene one is very very good. I wore it all last weekend, and my face looked so smooth and the tone so even, I could’ve been a different person. It’s done exactly what a CC cream (color correcting) is supposed to do. I love it when products do that. Also, it’s cheap. Like $15. I love that too.

Received an eye base/primer thing from Laura Geller. They sent me the color Mauve Majesty and it couldn’t be more perfect. I have been trying (and failing) to apply light pink eyeshadow to my lids, but the color never stays. About 2 hours after applying, it looks like I forgot to put on eyeshadow. And once you’re at work, there ain’t nothing you can do about it except go home sick.

This stuff puts a very subtle mauve color on the lid, and it really helped in keeping whatever eyeshadow I put on top as colorful as possible. So I’ve decided that even though I’m not a fan of cream eyeshadows, I will keep this one cuz it serves an actual purpose for me. Hoorah!

If I ever decide it’s time to drink my coffee out of a straw, I will use this Smileactives teeth whitening pen. I will admit my teeth are not as white as I’d like. So it’s probably a good idea just to get on with it and use this whitening pen as directed for up to 4 times a day. I suppose drinking coffee out of a straw is a small price to pay for a dazzling smile. I’ve gotta do some more research cuz the instructions on the website doesn’t say a word about whether you brush your teeth first.

And then I opened the box and there was whitening gel everywhere, so nevermind. Coffee for everyone!

Got another cleanser to add to my long line of cleansers standing along my bathtub. This one is the Algenist Gentle Rejuvenating Cleanser. I’m so excited to get this cuz I have wanted to try something by Algenist for awhile. Was gonna buy a facial mask for $59, but this sample tube of cleanser will do for now. Don’t ever let my husband tell you I’m not saving money, cuz as you can see by this example that is simply NOT. TRUE.

I haven’t used this yet so obviously I can’t tell you anything further about it. I’m the best product reviewer ever.

Don’t judge.

Last item in the box is a drugstore shampoo and conditioner by Dove. Granted, it’s part of their advanced series but they sell it at Walmart which impresses me about zero percent. However, it’s still something usable so I don’t hate the fact I got it. I’m just not moved beyond words or anything. In fact, I’m so not moved beyond words, I’ve officially bored myself just talking about it. Would it kill someone to send me some Carol’s Daughter shampoo? I mean, come on. If I wanted Dove shampoo, I’d buy it myself. I mean, my husband would buy it for me, but that’s pretty much the same thing.

Okay, lovelies. We are done for the day. Thanks for stopping by. Please come back for more fun stuff. Bye!

Jul16

Birchbox | July 2014

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I’ll just have you know the fact I took my friend makeup shopping last night and she bought everything I told her to and spent multiples of $100 is completely not my fault.

The fact I am an amazing beauty advisor, however, is 100% all mine. I’m sure someone needs to be paying me for this.

Here’s my Birchbox:

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How do I get off this Harvey Prince perfume train? This is the 3rd scent I’ve gotten, and I’m so over it right now I’m practically in pajamas with covers up to chin and sleeping mask activated. Good night, Harvey Prince. I’m taking a nap now.

For those curious, the scent is Imperial Gardenia and it smells nice. Like gardenias, so that makes sense. I would wear this if I wore perfume. But I don’t, so I won’t. Regifted! Moving on.

And for more nap time pleasure, here is a Naobay body lotion. I am so bored right now I can barely type.

Must …

persevere …

This smells like lemons. Goes on light and absorbs quickly. But it isn’t anything special in terms of being different from the trillion other lotions in existence. It is 98% natural and protects against the environment if that means anything to you. It claims to firm skin tissue as well, but I’m sure that involves psychological brain trickery at the very least.

And since we’re on such a roll, let’s do one more product that makes my face go like this: -__-

It’s the Number 4 Super Comb Prep & Protect leave-in conditioner. While this isn’t the worst thing to receive it certainly doesn’t make me giddy and/or a slobbering idiot. I used it, and will finish it, and it acts just like you’d expect it to. But the full size is a ridiculous $32 and I’m like you made of gold or something? No, you ain’t special. Certainly not $32 worth of special.

I feel like I’m being extra rude today. Let me throw out a disclaimer by saying these are my opinions only. The products themselves are not big o boos. They will solve an issue, be it dry skin, tangled hair, or the desire to smell like a bouquet of lovely flowers. But my excitement meter for these things are verging on a negative number. That’s all. No wet noodles please.

Let’s end on a high note, shall we? I am so happy I got the Real Chemistry Luminous 3-Minute Peel. I’ve been loving my Peter Thomas Roth Peeling Gel, and this product is similar. There’s just something oddly satisfying about your dead skin balling up and falling into the sink. Plus, it’s so easy to use. You just apply and rub in circular motions until all the product has worn away. Then rinse. You aren’t left with tiny micro beads that you’ll find stuck to your face for the next 3 days. It’s the best kind of exfoliation. And this will get your skin the softest it’s ever felt. I challenge you not to agree. And if you don’t, then you’re wrong. Simple as that.

Last item is a pretty little lip stain by Cynthia Rowley. Birchbox had actually emailed me a few weeks ago to ask which shade I wanted. I thought that was a nice touch, and hopefully they will continue to do this. I chose a pink nude called Sugar and it is the perfect color for me. And these lip stains are not drying at all. They went on wet and after an hour I was still able to feel the creaminess of the product on my lips. The staining power, however, wasn’t miraculous or anything. Although I switch up my lip color so much during the day, I’m not even mad about it. But just FYI for those that care. Also it’s a Birchbox exclusive.

That’s all I got, boo boos. I have lots more to say for another day. Get excited.

Jul13

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | July 2014

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Welcome to the start of July box reviews. As usual, I’m already behind.

Well. I’m var var busy. Starbucks and Sephora don’t happen all by themselves ya know?

Here’s what came in my Blush box this month:

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Other than that ridiculous packet sample, I think I’m alright with this box. I will use almost everything, even the scary tall thing with the nozzle.

Speaking of which, that’s a Julien Farel Zero Frizz Restore shampoo, conditioner and treatment (all-in-one) for frizzy, dry hair. Y’all know I am frizzy and poufy, so this product seems like it would be my dream come true. I was a little intimidated cuz of the applicator and not knowing really what to do with it. Had to watch a YouTube video that showed an actual person using this stuff for me to feel safe. I recommend you do the same cuz if I try to explain you still won’t know.

Fiiiiiine. Use the nozzle to apply product in sections all over dry hair. Use the palm of your hand to massage product into scalp. Get in the shower. Apply water to help create a mousse and rub it around like shampoo. Take a wide toothed comb and comb through to the ends of the hair. Leave on for a couple minutes, then rinse.

I’m doing this tonight and it better do as it’s told cuz I don’t have time to re-shampoo nothin. I’ll report back and let you know.

Then I got a tube of hand and nail cream from Great Barrier Island Bee Co. I’m not opposed to receiving products like this since they are almost always 100% useable. But I have such a huge store of hand lotions I’m starting to get anxiety. I’ll never finish all this stuff. How will this ever happen? I have partially used lotion tubes everywhere and not one of them is close to the end. I am going to carry these around with me for all eternity. Along with an enormous box of nail polishes. My room in Heaven better have a lot of storage space.

On a less morbid note, this lotion smells like honey and I like it a lot. And it’s from New Zealand so it’s extra fancy.

Next up is an eye thing from SmartFX called SmartEye. I call it a “thing” cuz I really don’t know what it is. The tube says it’s a wrinkle lift, so I suppose we’ll go with that. It’s supposed to work in 60 seconds, which I’ll be honest, my cat ears perked up immediately at that. According to statistics, 100% of the people said it works, so at this point nothing else matters.

I’ve used it for the past couple days with an excitement bordering on mania. It’s a tinted cream that blends translucent. It’s not too thick or real loose. I wouldn’t call it a concealer although it does help conceal dark circles somewhat. I put this on under my foundation, and if I’m not mistaken or under the influence of psychological brain trickery, this product might actually do what it says. My under eye seems clearer, brighter, smoother. Less 40, more 20. Okay, 30. But younger nonetheless. I’m very happy I own this. Hopefully there is a SmartFace product in the works as we speak. If not, someone needs to invent one immediately.

Received a very pretty honey nude lipgloss from Rouge Bunny Rouge. Prior to trying all the other products in the box, this was my at-first-glance favorite. First of all, it’s Russian (therefore exotic), and second of all it’s lipgloss and I wear lipgloss daily. So I knew it would be a good one. The color looks quite natural on my lips. The shine is pretty, and most importantly, it’s not gloopy. I’ve worn this on it’s own and as a topper and I love it both ways.

When I wore it on it’s own, I used the Cattiva lip liner in Nude as an accompaniment. Both items go together so beautifully. I don’t typically wear lip liner, although I better get on the bandwagon cuz I’ve been noticing some feathering going on in my old lady lips. This one is creamy and glides on smooth. Also, no sharpening required which is my preference. You know, being lazy and all that.

Last thing in the box is that blasted packet. What am I supposed to do with this? Bah. Anyway, it’s a two-step alpha beta peel from Dr. Dennis Gross. I’m sure it’s a lovely product, and maybe I’m being unfair projecting my bad one-time-use packet juju onto this. Probably I won’t want to use this stuff more than one time, or maybe I will see results after one time. Who’s to know? I just haven’t decided if I want to mess with it or not. Mom, if this thing gets regifted to you, please know it comes from love. And frustration. But most importantly, love.

That’s the end of this one, lovies. Hope your Sunday has been loads of fun, and the thought of Monday lurking like a lurking lurker doesn’t piss you off like it does me.

Jul2

Beauty DNA | June 2014

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I love not being disappointed, don’t you?  In fact, it’s like one of my favorite states of being.  If I could be not disappointed for the rest of my life, I think that would cover all the bases.  Happiness, money, health = all checked.  World peace would probably just take care of itself.  And then I would be Ambassador of the World!

Well, you never know.

Below is an example of not being disappointed.  My Beauty DNA box:

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This is the Ahava Time to Smooth Age Control Even Tone Moisturizer, and it’s perfect for me.  Despite the fact it reminds you by its mere title that YOU. ARE. OLD.  The last Ahava product I had was the Dead Sea Osmoter Concentrate serum and it was fantastic, so I have high hopes for this moisturizer.

I was looking up the description online, and if this product does what it’s supposed to, I will have a completely new face in 14 days.  Cannot wait for that.  I’d love a new face.  One with an even tone, brighter complexion and no wrinkles.  Hooray!  I love ALL those things.  I would like one of each please.

Beauty DNA is probably my favorite subscription box.  I know they only send you one full-size product, but the product you get is guaranteed to be something you want because their matching system is var var high tech.  I spent about half an hour on my profile answering a zillion questions about my likes, dislikes, wants, don’t wants, and because of my perseverence, I am rewarded with everything I’ve ever wanted.  I just love it.  You should join because you will love it too.  And also I am the boss of you.

I mean, Ambassador of the World.

Jun30

Glossybox | June 2014

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Last day of the month. Two reviews to go. One box isn’t even here yet. I have failed.

In better news, only a 4 day work week this week! I love holidays. And to commemorate the occasion, here is a patriotic themed Glossybox:

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The most adorable packaging that ever lived. I’m keeping the box. I don’t know what for, but I feel like I could be arrested for treason if I throw it away. I would not fare well in an orange jumpsuit. I have pink undertones.

First item is the Rusk Texture Dry Finishing Spray. It has been immediately regifted. I don’t have time in the morning to do anything to my hair that requires a texture spray.  I almost don’t have time to do anything, much less fiddle around with a hairdo that will most likely not last half an hour.   I mean, the best effort I’ve ever made towards any kind of hair style is purchasing a hair donut.  And that was done primarily because it’s fun to say hair donut.

Next item is of course a big fat poo.  It’s red and blue nail polish from StrangeBeautiful.  This has also been regifted.  The contents of this box is dwindling fast people!  Is there anything left in here for me?  (Sad face.)  Now, to clarify, I’m not saying anything is wrong with the red and blue nail polish.  I just don’t want it.  It is not my preference.  Despite the fact it’s completely in season and holiday appropriate. I swear though, it’s found a loving home with my daughter. She will draw the Stars and Stripes for America, don’t worry.

Okay now things are starting to get better. I got a body butter by Ayres. The scent is called Patagonia, which I assume means jasmine and rosemary cuz that’s what it says on the label. I’m not a fan of those fake scents, those scent names that are not a real thing, but it doesn’t stink that much. It doesn’t smell like paradise either so don’t get too excited. However, it sinks in very fast which is my number one prerequisite for a body butter. I would actually consider buying a full size of this. Maybe try a different scent, as Midnight Tango or Pampas Sunrise seems like they would smell better. But what do I know? Cuz those aren’t real things either.

Got an eyeshadow crayon from Sumita Beauty in the color Champagne. Here’s my face: -__-

I dunno. I guess it’s not that bad, but I don’t prefer cream eyeshadows. I just don’t really know what to do with them. However, I used it this weekend and it was pretty creamy, went on very smooth, and the color was nice. Then I put it away in my Train Case of Forgotten Makeup where it will live for all eternity. I’ll dig it out every now and then, but there will be no miracles.

Last item is my absolute fave of them all. It’s a glorious hand cream by Camille Beckman called Imperial Repair. I love it. For one, it squeezes itself out of the tube very elegantly. I cannot explain it any other way than that. In fact, it squeezes out so incredibly elegantly, I would do nothing but squeeze it out for the rest of my life as a side job or a hobby. There’s just a satisfying pleasure in it. Oh my gawd, what’s happened to me?

The smell is a lemongrass grapefruit which sounds heavenly and is also a real thing. However, the lemon overwhelms the grapefruit so it smells mostly about 100% like furniture polish. But it also moisturizes well and leaves the hands feeling soft and lovely. Approved! Put it on your shopping list.

Thanks for spending the last day of June with me. One more box arrives tomorrow, then I got empties, July boxes and some hauls to share. The fun never ends!

Jun29

Petit Vour | June 2014

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Man it’s humid outside. But I will let you know I’m sitting on my shaded back patio as we speak drinking a Bartles & James and writing this post cuz I take care of my people.

And what that has to do with anything other than getting tipsy on a Sunday night, I have no idea.

And by tipsy, I just mean having ONE wine cooler because I am a professional drinker and I get things done.

Just kidding. But I am sitting outside trying to enjoy the cool breeze and last few moments of the weekend. And I am having a Bartles & James. And I am verrrry tipsy.

In other words, not kidding about any of it. Lawd, what am I going on about? Dunno. Moving on.

Petit Vour came in!

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This is one of my favorite subscriptions boxes. I’m usually in love or super duper in like with the majority of the items in the boxes. This month is another great one.

First product is the Brightening Youth Serum from Mun. I love my serums, as you may already know. This one, however, stumped me a little. It says ‘serum’ but it’s made from a blend of oils. Usually oils are the last step after moisturizer since water-based moisturizers can’t penetrate oil barriers. (Science!) And serums are applied prior to moisturizers. Oh my gawd, my brain hurts.

As a Virgo and a hypochondriac, I need clear, concise instruction and can’t find any anywhere. What is wrong with people? Would it kill someone to put some specifics on a website somewhere? Otherwise, I may apply my products all out of order and my face might fall off. So I’ve emailed the company for further explanation. As you knew I would.

Got another cleanser for the stash. This makes my 6th in line for use I think. Luckily, they’re pretty small samples so hopefully it won’t take long to get to it. And if you’re curious (you are), it’s the TAY Rosehip Balancing Cleanser. And it’s in the most adorable little bamboo type container. I wish I could give a further review on it now, but unfortunately I only have one face and can’t get through cleansers any faster than a normal person. It’ll be in my July empties post, so hang tight.

Got a shampoo and conditioner set by Evolvh. And this time they are equally-sized bottles so I can use them both at the same time until they’re empty. This makes me undeniably happy. There’s no sense in giving me a shampoo and no conditioner, or a shampoo with a little one-time-use conditioner packet. Because what am I supposed to do with the leftover shampoo then? I mean, why do you stress me out so unnecessarily?

I used both products on my hair this evening, and I liked them. The smell was very nice, which is a plus. The shampoo is clear which works best for my very fine hair. Colored, pearly shampoos tend to be to weighing on me. Does that happen to anyone else? My hair stylist told me it’s a thing. Apparently clear shampoos clarify hair better than the other kinds. At least on me anyway. As for the conditioner, it’s not super thick so it didn’t cling to my hair and I was kind of worried. But when I rinsed it out, I could feel he softness of my hair under the water.

On a side note, upon reading the directions online, I realized I washed my hair wrong. It says to let the shampoo sit for 1-2 minutes for shine and volume boost. Well, in my defense, when is the last time you needed to read directions on a shampoo bottle? Drat.

Last product is not even worth mentioning cuz I’m so bored by it, I may fall asleep. But because I love you all, and I am a professional, I will tell you I got a baby blue nail polish from NCLA. It’s part of their Jetsetter collections, and I could care less. But I’ll keep it cuz I don’t have a baby blue polish.

Yes, I confuse even myself sometimes. I’m sure it’s a lovely product for those who are way into nail polish. And I will use it since I do polish my own nails. And I may even love it since sometimes I do. I promise I’ll let you know.

Okay that’s it for now. See y’all tomorrow with more fun stuffs and even more awkward endings. Bye!

Jun26

Lip Factory | June 2014

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I just realized there are only 3 days left in this month, but I got 4 reviews left to do. Where has the time gone? I thought I was doing so good. I guess it’s time to stop smug-smiling and get down to business.

Lip Factory came. I got these things:

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It’s a pretty good box this month. I will use almost everything in here. That’s pretty rare. So I’ll save my booboo for the end. If you’ve been reading my blog, I’m pretty sure you know which one I do not love. If you haven’t been reading my blog, what have you been doing with your life? You got about 90 posts to catch up on. Get busy.

First thing I got was a ModelCo eyeliner in black. I’ve been using this all week and really enjoying it. It’s very black and goes on easy. No tugging or skipping, which makes me var var happy. Other than that, what else can I tell you about a black eyeliner? Not much. Moving on.

Another ModelCo product in the box – this time, a lipgloss. I got a rose color, and it’s kind of pretty. The formula did not feel sticky or anything. But is it the lipgloss of life? No. Even though it has a mirror right there on the tube. They tried at least. I suppose if you are ever in a conundrum whether to purchase a lipgloss or a mirror compact, this product right here will put an end to all that. Otherwise, you could probably never own this and still basically be able to continue with life.

Then I got a lip liner from 29 Cosmetics. I’m not a huge lip liner person. It’s very hard for me to draw a straight line, even though my lips are there for guidance. So instead of creating unnecessary anxiety for myself, I just skip the thing altogether. However, for those who do enjoy a good lip liner this one works pretty decent. It also has grape seed extract in it to protect your lips from environmental pollutants. Does that matter to you? If so, you’re welcome and I’m getting back in pajamas now.

Favorite thing in the box is the green eyeshadow from Girlactik. It’s a beautiful green with a flattering pearly finish. I would own more of these if each shadow didn’t cost $19. I mean I like them and all, but not $19 worth of love. I’ll just take this green one and manage … somehow. Plus, with as many palettes I currently have stashed under my bathroom sink, I will own this little single for at least 15 years.

Another goodie is the lip serum from Befine. This serum claims to firm and plump, smooth and soften. It has peptides in it for you rocket scientists who know what that means. The consistency is like an oil, but it doesn’t feel oily. It’s slick and shiny. I’ve been putting it on in the morning at the start of my routine, but I’m thinking I’ll carry this around with me all day. It feels nice on the lips, and who doesn’t love that? (Crazy people.)

Now for the booboo. The Palladio nail sunscreen. I’m not against the idea of this product. It really is just a clear top coat that has UV protection in it. But did I want this? No. It’s still nail polish, and nail polish bores me. However, since I don’t actually own a top coat I will keep it.

Apparently the sun will fade out your nail polish color. I’m not sure how long you gotta be out in the sun in order for fading to take place, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never have this problem. I don’t go outside on purpose. I mean, yes I go outside but those are all “have-to” situations, i.e., work, runs to Sephora, Starbucks. You know, the necessities in life. But I will never voluntarily go camping, or to a public swimming pool. Probably not even a family reunion if they’re doing it outside. Serious, if you see me doing those things, you should assume I’ve been kidnapped and call police immediately.

What I’m trying to say is I don’t need nail sunscreen.

Okay, done for the day. It’s lunchtime and I need food. And then Sephora emailed me a VIB Rouge exclusive offer, so I need to do some shopping as well. Var var busy day ahead of me, as you can see.

Bye!

Jun22

Birchbox | June 2014

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For any of you who assumed I never did anything else besides work and go to Sephora, lemme just say you are 97.83748% correct. But every once in awhile I do venture out and celebrate birthday parties with friends. I did party makeup. Here’s proof:

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Yes my hair is in a Turbie Twist. I couldn’t be bothered to take a selfie after I was completely ready. That would be nonsense. No, it’s much more practical to show the world this picture instead.

For those who need to know things, it’s Makeup Geek eyeshadows on eyes and Bite Beauty lipstick in Violet on lips. It took me 2 hours. I manage my time very well, as you can clearly see.

And now for the best segue that ever lived, here’s my Birchbox goodies:

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This box has it’s highs and lows. Let’s start with the highs so we can end on a low note and then your day can only get better from there. (I take care of my people.)

Got a little sampler of the Coastal Scents Revealed 2 palette. While I’m always up for receiving eyeshadows, I’m kind of ho hum pigs bum about a batch of brown eyeshadows. But I did use them and they were nice and the look I got was natural and pretty. If you go to my Ipsy review from this month, you can see me wearing it. I’d link it for you, but you are aware I went out last night aren’t you? Yes, var var tired today. Effort = not given.

I love skincare. Like in an unhealthy way probably. You could do a full on shopping excursion under my bathroom sink. But not only that but I’m starting to collect things on the rim of my bathtub as well. Added this Evologie Stay Clear cleanser to the mix. As soon as I finish the four cleansers I already have lined up, I’m all over this one. So in about three months probably. Get excited!

Received a little trio of Davine’s hair stuff. Got a bottle of the Love Smoothing Shampoo, which is perfect for my harsh, frizzy, undisciplined hair (their description, not mine). And then I got a one time use packet of the matching conditioner. Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. What am I supposed to do with the leftover shampoo in the bottle now that I don’t have the accompanying conditioner to go with it? Go to Birchbox.com and purchase more conditioner? Oh, I get it. Very sneaky, Birchbox.

I will say that I probably will go buy this. Using the two together did wonders for my hair. Either that or I psychologically brought it into being. Which I’m pretty sure happens the majority of the time anyway. Otherwise why would I be continuing to use a facial exfoliator that literally smells like a fish hatchery happened upon my face?

The conditioner is very thick, but when your hair has a mind of it’s own, you need to suffocate the hell out of it. Behave! And it did.

The other thing they gave me is the OI/All In One Milk. It’s a leave in conditioning treatment kind of thingy that has a variety of talents like controls frizz, protects from heat, detangles, adds shine, etc. I used it with enthusiasm, then quickly let it go. One time use packets are not meant for full time commitment. They are the boyfriends of my youth.

We’re headed downhill now. Last two things are big fat boos. But lemme just iterate they are boos for me but maybe not for you. Cuz I don’t prefer the genre. The products themselves are probably very lovely.

First one is a nail polish by Color Club in the color Gold Struck. What can I say about this in order to make you want to buy it? Ummmmm, I kept it so … That’s a pretty big deal right there.

Last item in the box is English Laundry perfume. If I enjoyed wearing perfume I would wear this. It does not stink. For those who need a better description than that, it smells like quince, white chocolate and jasmine. And I can kind of detect the chocolate if I close my eyes and think real hard. But I’m probably imagining that up cause it’s lunch time and I really want a Snickers bar.

And to really bring home the low note, I went to Birchbox thinking I was going to purchase the Davine’s shampoo and conditioner, then saw it would cost me over $50 so I ran far far away.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!