Jun18

Sample Society | June 2014

Posted on June 18, 2014 by Dianna

So you know how my Love Lula subscription ran out last month and I opted not to renew? Well, I’ve replaced it as you probably knew I would. I am now the proud owner of a month-to-month subscription to Memebox. What is Memebox? It’s a box full of Korean skincare and beauty samples. Why do I need this? Why is the sky blue? Don’t ask stupid questions.

The below is not my Memebox. It’s Sample Society:

Although heavy on the skincare, like literally the entire box, I think this one is pretty good (other than that blasted perfume sample that is). I’ve used several of the items and I have opinions to bestow, so let’s get started.

First things first, the Orlane Hydro Matifying Care tube is so teeny tiny, they killed a thousand trees for that insanely big packaging. Serious, I was like oooh, Orlane!, thinking of the many many days ahead of me wearing this luxury moisturizer. And then upon opening the box, I mentally checked off about 19 days. Drat. However, this is a very nice moisturizer. It looks thick when you squeeze it out, but it goes on so light and lovely. It’s supposed to be mattifying, and I guess it kind of is, but my pores can be seen from outer space so you gotta do something a lot more industrial than apply moisturizer to cover those babies up.

That was a huge run on sentence but I am too tired to figure out how to explain it grammatically correctly. Also, I’m not sure I just said proper English. This post is going tragically downhill.

Speaking of teeny tiny samples, the Karin Herzog Vita-A-Kombi 2 moisturizer yielded two whole days. Probably worked out for the best because there seemed to be a lot of specific instructions involved in the use of this product. Allow me to explain:

Nowhere on this tube told me what this stuff was. Could be a serum, or a mask. Possibly moisturizer. As a person with OCD issues, I need clear, concise instruction on virtually everything I don’t understand. Do not tell me to cook fish until it flakes easily with a fork because how long is that exactly? Flakes easily isn’t even a proper cooking term, and if so it should come with a standard length of time it takes to do so, like 15 minutes or something. And if you mean to cook it 15 minutes, just say 15 minutes. Why ya gotta go make up cooking words instead?

I’ve went off topic. Well, you can’t expect me to cook a decent salmon with that sort of attention span, now can you?

But back to the Karin Herzog thingy. I contacted the company, and turns out this is a moisturizer made with 2% oxygen, retinol and vitamin E. I was also informed I cannot use my fingers to apply this as they will most likely burn and rot away. Well, that’s not what they said specifically, but that’s what I heard. What they probably said was to apply it with a brush as the benefits of the oxygen will absorb through your fingers and never get to your face. Sounds much less dangerous, but I swear I was scared for like 15 seconds.

I did as I was told and got out a little concealer brush, used it, and everything turned out fine. Nothing exploded or melted, which is all good news. I even went so far as to purchase a better brush at Walmart yesterday so I could apply my second time like a true professional (after watching the Karin Herzog YouTube channel demonstration – which is something only an idiot like me would do). Turns out the tube had two uses in it so I overreacted just slightly. Thank goodness the brush only cost $1. And even if the oxygen had absorbed through my fingers instead of my face, two days worth of oxygen wouldn’t have made a lick of difference anyway. Two-time-use tubes are almost just as bad as one-time-use packets. What. Is. The. Point.

Next item is a repeat. In fact, it’s such a massive repeat, I could have stocked a warehouse with it. Got my FIFTH tube of Pur-Lisse Hydra Balance moisturizer. And what can I say about this product that I haven’t already mentioned before at least four other times in this blog? A whole bunch of nothing. I mean, I’m currently using one of my older tubes and it works fine. Goes on smooth, sinks in pretty good. Doesn’t leave me sticky. I just don’t love it enough to continue hoarding it like a hoarding hoarder. Regifted.

Another product that leaves me guessing is this H2O+ Oxygenating Rejuvenator. Even the title doesn’t give a hint. My OCD can’t take this. So I’ve emailed customer service and am waiting impatiently for an answer. I am assuming it’s a moisturizer, and if so, would it have killed someone to print the word ‘moisturizer’ right there on the tube? Why do you insist on driving me insane?

I’ve been kind of getting into dry oil sprays lately. So getting this Borghese Fango Deep Hydration Finishing Treatment (var var long explanation for spray oil) was fine by me. I have been using it for the past few nights, and although I don’t have much to compare it to yet, I will say that I like it okay. It absorbs nicely, which is probably the most important aspect of an oil mist. However, it smells like men’s cologne. Not fruit, not flowers, not even some fake made up ocean breeze slash desert oasis smell, which I probably would have actually preferred for once. Nope, this is straight up men’s cologne. And not even a very good cologne. So I will not repurchase after the sample runs out. I do not want to smell like my ex-boyfriend from high school.

Last product in the box has been saved for last cuz I knew if I started with it you’d fall right to sleep. It’s a perfume by Juliette Has a Gun called Anyway. And I’m not even gonna pretend I sniffed it, even for research purposes. It’s sitting in my mom’s little care package I’m making for her out of my beauty box rejects. Awwwww, can you say best daughter ever?

It’s always awkward ending review posts like this cuz the nerd in me feels like I need to sum it all up in a concluding paragraph. But the lazy in me always comes out on top. And so I’m just saying bye and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Jun17

Ipsy | June 2014

Posted on June 17, 2014 by Dianna

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Another day, another box. Artfully displayed for your viewing pleasure. I’m sure I irritate the crap out of my Instagram friends who do not enjoy seeing this sort of thing. These friends shall furthermore be referred to as Crazy People. That way we’re all clear on who we are supposed to love the best.

Here’s Ipsy:

First of all, there’s a filter on this photo. I was taking the picture in damn near darkness, as my husband likes to watch his tv from a cavern-like atmosphere. So I had to tweak the settings so you could see the products more clear. I could have just gone into another room and turned the light on, but that required effort that I didn’t have to give.

But most importantly, the reason we’re all here: The box. It’s a pretty good one despite the fact I’m only keeping two products. But don’t worry; I’m fine with that. Let’s get started!

I love NYX Butter Gloss. This stuff is wonderful. I own maybe 6, possibly 7 different colors. So imagine my absolute annoyance that out of approximately 20 shades available I get sent the one I already own. Why does life hate me? Pffft. Turns out Ipsy only had three shades on hand, and I owned two out of the three. Odds were against me from the beginning. But still. This product probably shouldn’t be included in a box because the entire world has a NYX Butter Gloss in their back pocket and chances are it’s in these exact same colors.

I’m whining. I’ve missed my own point. Blah.

However, these NYX Butter Glosses are amazing. They have a super soft texture, smells like you could eat it, and feels very moisturizing and non-sticky on the lips. If you don’t own one, you’ve most likely been living in the cavern-like atmosphere with my husband, and you should probably run right out and buy a couple. It’s one purchase I can practically guarantee you’ll be happy about. Finish this blog post first though, then you may go.

Next is this Be A Bombshell Lash Out mascara. As I’ve mentioned before, I love mascara. That and eyeshadow are the two things I can’t get enough of. So receiving this was actually one of the best things about the box. I wore it on Saturday, and it wasn’t bad at all. Didn’t feel like it was amazing or a must-have product or anything, but it did alright. However, the smell of it was so gross. Smelled like straight up chemicals. Apparently everyone on Ipsy is talking about the smell, so it’s not just my tube. However, I’m not sure if the smell is natural or if all us subscribers got some expired product. I’m debating whether to keep it or not. You don’t smell it when it’s on your lashes, but if it’s spoiled I don’t want it anywhere on my body, least of all eyes.

Then I got this lovely jade green shimmer eyeliner by NickaK. This stuff is glorious. Vibrant, sparkly (but not outrageous), and surprise, surprise!, I don’t own a liner in this color. Truly is a miracle straight from the Baby Jesus. Anyway. The brush applicator is rather stiff, but I actually found this to be helpful when applying. I could practically lay the brush against my lashline and it would transfer color, which was awesome. Because lawd knows how awful I am at applying liquid liner. It’s a fiasco to the nth degree almost 97.956736% of the time. On the off chance my liner looks halfway decent, you can bet it took me at the minimum 15 hours.

Here is a picture of my eye wearing the eyeliner and mascara together:

So as you can see, the mascara does not look hideous as I mentioned. And the eyeliner is a stunner. Approved! Put it on your shopping list. (Well, not the mascara. Jury’s still out.)

Got a repeat item in the form of DermaDoctor DD Cream. Back when I was just starting to get interested in makeup, I got suckered into buying the full size of this DD cream by the saleslady at Ulta. I say suckered in because I really didn’t understand what I was buying. All I knew was that I was white and she was African-American and we could both use the same color-adjusting tube of DermaDoctor. I got a little excited. Foundation matching stresses me out. Anyway.

Unfortunately, there is shimmer in it a little bit. And my skin is too old for that nonsense. So I used it, and it was fine, except for the shimmer. I finally just gave it away, and I’ve never regretted it once. But now this little tube has come back to haunt me. If I went out more often, like clubbing or something, I’d just keep the dang sample and be done with it. Because that’s the only place I can afford my face to be sparkling like diamonds – in near darkness.

Well in that case I could also wear it while watching tv with my husband in his cavern-like atmosphere. Alright then.

Last item in the box is the biggest poo of all. The product may be fabulous – Marc Anthony Dream Waves Beach Spray – but I do not use stuff like this. If I wanted to make my hair lumpy – which is what my hair does to the style otherwise known as wavy – then I’d just wash my hair and let it air dry. Save me all the trouble of using a spray. Unfortunately, I do not look good with lumpy hair so am forced to flat iron it within an inch of its life. These are just my struggles. Others who do not share my struggles are probably spritzing their hair with this beach spray and laugh laugh laughing away.

Well, enjoy that.

That’s it for Ipsy. Tune in again tomorrow for more fun stuff.

Jun16

Boxycharm | June 2014

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Dianna

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I’ve received half of my boxes. It’s halfway through the month. I’ve written one review so far. Pretty sure there’s a math equation in there for all you geniuses out there. If so, I’m almost certain the answer is I’M BEHIND ONCE AGAIN. Well, pffft.

Here’s my Boxycharm goods:

I’m var var happy this month! Even though there is an un-favorite in the box, the good far outweighs the bad. And even the bad isn’t that bad. I mean, I don’t love it as a genre, but it’s the best one they could’ve sent so I’m alright with it. What am I going on about? The suspense, the suspense!

I’ll start with the good stuff. First item is the Revlon Bold Lacquer mascara. Y’all know I love me some mascara. I’ll just go ahead and throw out the fact that I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to purchasing mascara. I don’t get excited about anything drugstore. I’m not saying there isn’t any amazing drugstore mascaras, so hold onto your wet noodles please. I just enjoy collecting high end mascara. It’s my thing. So getting this Revlon mascara wasn’t the most exciting thing to ever happen, but it’s always fun to try things I know I’d never buy for myself.

The brush is nice and fluffy so it coated my lashes pretty good. I wouldn’t say it was spectacular or anything, but it’s hard to make me happy when it comes to my eyelashes. As you all know (if you’ve been reading my blog, and if you haven’t, something is clearly wrong with you), my eyelashes are teeny tiny in their natural state. It takes a lot of doing for a mascara to work on me. So no hard feelings, Revlon. I is who I is.

I got two products from Tarina Tarantino which is an actual, true exciting thing. I didn’t own anything from this brand, but now I do, so life = succeeded right about now, and I can get back into my pajamas and do nothing forever.

Well, sounds good anyway.

I haven’t tried the Eye Dream Hyperliner eyeliner yet, but I will at some point this week. I got a pretty blue color, which is fine but I do already have like 3 or 4 other royal blue eyeliners. That part sucks a little, as I saw on their website they have several other color choices. I could use a pretty copper or a vibrant green. Or I could just zip my lip and be grateful this isn’t a perfume sample, which we all know how much I do not love.

The other one is the Eye Dream Hyperlight highlighter. This is a brush-style universal highlighter in a really pretty pinky peach. I’ve used this twice so far, and I do like it. It does help cover up my dark circles. Not completely, mind you, because I’ve yet to experience that miracle, but it does the best it can. Which at this point is all I can really hope for. Can’t say I will use it every single day because that’s adding an extra step to my already 27-step morning process, but it’ll probably be thrown in the weekend batch.

Also, for you girls that have deep skin tones, I was reading a review on the Tarina Tarantino website that said it is an honest to God universal shade for ALL skin tones. I have not seen this claim in person with my eyes, but just wanted to FYI you anyway.

Got another Tarte cheek stain in a really beautiful pink color called Blushing Bride. Luckily that is not the shade I already own, which tends to be my luck nowadays. I like these cheek stains; they’re pretty easy to apply. I dab my Real Techniques stippling brush over the top of the stain then tap and swirl on my cheeks like a professional. And then, BAM! Supermodel. I highly recommend these to everyone, especially if you are a beginner cream blush user.

Last product in the box is the poo. Although it’s not a real bad poo. It’s nail polish, which most of the time I do not want. However, when they send me a pretty season-appropriate color, I can accept it but with only half a smile. I mean, it’s still nail polish, and I still do not love. Anyway. Got the StrangeBeautiful duo in a pale gold and a blue grey. These looked so beautiful in their little bottles, especially the blue grey.

I’ve been holding onto this spa gift card my daughter got me for my birthday last year, and when I say hold onto, I mean forgot about. I was feeling like a total horrible mother cuz everytime my daughter got in my car she’d see the gift card sitting in the cubby hole and she’d give me that look. That cubby hole is storage for those things you mean to get to later. Like a coupon for a bucket of soda for 99 cents. My granddaughter’s pacifier that she spit out onto the dirty floorboard. And a dentist appointment card from 2012.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love or appreciate the gift card, it’s that I’m a really horrible appointment maker. I reminded myself countless times these past 10 months to call the spa, call the spa. And then I never would call the spa. I went to bed on Friday night with the thought I’d finally call the spa on Saturday to see if they had any spots available for a mani and pedi. Not a spot in the future, but a spot that day. Again, not an appointment maker. Procrastinator, very much so.

Luckily, the spa had time to see me, and at the very last second I had the notion to bring my new blue grey polish with me for them to use. And while the toe picture is up on Instagram, here is the finger picture in all it’s lovely glory:

See, that’s just pretty. Even an anti-nail polish person like me can appreciate this. Of course, this may be the only time I’ll ever wear it, but that’s beside the point.

Great, great box this month, Boxycharm. This may be the best one they’ve ever sent. I love it when that happens, don’t you? Subscription = justified. I may proceed with life.

Jun13

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | June 2014

Posted on June 13, 2014 by Dianna

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First box of the month y’all, and it’s a good one! I love starting out my month of boxes on a high note. Add that to the euphoria of being at the front end of all my deliveries, and I’m simply beside myself. I don’t even know how I manage to sit still and be normal.

Here’s what I got:

You may be thinking to yourself, so?, if you look to the right of the NYX eyeshadow. That’s exactly what I said. But I was so impressed with the sheer size and thoughtfulness of the palette, that I quickly forgot about everything else. So yes, awesome box even though I only really liked one thing in it. Logic only I can understand; don’t even bother.

So this NYX palette is called Be Free. It includes 25 eyeshadows (hooray!), 3 blushes (yasss!), and 7 lipglosses (boo; snore). Palettes are my weakness. I see one and I barely take notice of my own breathing for about 30 seconds. I have an extraordinary collection stashed under my bathroom sink and more in a basket on the back of the toilet (you know, the proper place to store your palettes). And yet, I still need more. I may never get over my palette addiction.

I’ve used several of the eyeshadows and they are quite good. I didn’t have any pigmentation issues, blending took little to no effort. I’m var var pleased. As for the blushes, there is a bronze-y one in the center, and then two pinks that almost look exactly alike. They could’ve used a tweak in that department, but I’m not in charge of NYX unfortunately. Lastly, the lipglosses. They’re just okay. I don’t prefer digging lipgloss out of a pan like that. I used a couple and they’re pretty sheer. Not saying I won’t continue to use them, but they will definitely be layered over a lipstick at the very least.

Well I said I only liked the palette in the box, but that’s not technically true. I love cleansers too. This DermaNew cleanser is a new-to-me brand and it seems to be full-size. For the sake of this review, I went ahead and sampled it last night even though there are 3 other cleansers ahead of it. I am a professional; we’ve discussed this. Anyway, I really did like this. It was definitely creamy and it “sticks” to your skin as your applying it instead of feeling loose and drippy. Am I making any sense? I hope so. However, after wiping it off I did feel a little tightness in my face, and not in a facelift sort of way. So it may be slightly drying. Or I could be assuming horrible things and should use the product more than once before I say something hideous. But also, I’m having an oily t-zone issue, so I was fine with any drying it may be doing.

And now for an enormous amount of hair products. Why this happened, I have no idea. Whoever is in charge of VARIETY needs a stern talking to. In the meantime, I have these three things:

A glossing serum from Phyto. This claims to be an anti-frizz leave-in serum that will make my dry, dull hair come to life. So I tested that theory. I used a few drops mainly on my spiky ends after washing last night. The feel of this was surprisingly less greasy than other oil products. I say that as if I know it’s made of oil, but honestly I have no idea. Regardless, it was quite light and I sort of liked it.

I used this in conjunction with the other item I got, the Alterna Caviar Seasilk Oil Gel. This product is also an anti-frizz treatment, but I applied it on the rest of my hair (not the ends). I may have done this wrong. I may have applied two products that do the exact same thing. But even so, this purple gel looks so stunning sitting on my bathroom counter that it doesn’t even matter. It may end up more of a decoration piece anyway. I already have a drawer full of other stuff to use.

However, I will say that my hair is very sleek and soft today. I was reading the intended use of the Alterna, and while I didn’t necessarily do it wrong, it did say it provided a lightweight hold for styling. Which doesn’t do a damn bit of good if you go straight to bed after using this. Ah well. Still looks stunning on my bathroom counter though! There will always be that.

Last item I got was a repeat – the Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair hair mask. I’m not opposed to this item, but I already have two large mask products and one of them – Carol’s Daughter – works amazing and smells insane. So I can either put the Briogeo under my bathroom sink for the future or I can be the best daughter in the world and it give to my mother. Probably going to go with the latter because I may not have a Bachelor’s Degree like the other daughter, but I have a free hair mask to bequeath and that’s virtually the same thing in terms of proud factor. Pretty sure, anyway.

That’s it for today.

Jun12

Buying Stuff: Episode 15

Posted on June 12, 2014 by Dianna

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Beauty boxes are rolling in as we speak. I’m going to use more of the products before I do any reviews. Because I am a professional, and that is how I run this bloggin business.

To tide you over, I have a teeny haul to share. I went to Sephora under the guise of needing a free mask sample. And while I did get one (GlamGlow Supermud, to be exact), a few other products mysteriously, miraculously found their way into my basket. They are these:

I’ve been rather impressed with my tiny sample of the Urban Decay All-Nighter setting spray. And then I discovered they have an oily skin version called De-Slick. I’m been having some issues in the t-zone area, which I am not liking one bit. Using my setting powder, then spritzing the spray has been helping somewhat. Just imagine what a specified oily skin spray could do! I mean, I don’t know because I haven’t used it yet, but just IMAGINE.

I’m not saying I have a shopping problem or anything, I’m simply telling you I bought the Cover|FX Mattifying Primer on the Sephora website, then after work that day I went into the Sephora store and bought the Cover|FX Mattifying Primer. Somehow, in the short span between leaving work and arriving at the mall, I had forgotten what I’d purchased. No judging allowed. This is a friendly, safe environment.

But in my defense, I really wanted to try this primer. I’m desperate to rid my skin of an oily t-zone. I used it once last weekend and it did pretty good. I did not have to blot, where usually I will at least once if not twice during a workday. So that’s rather successful if you ask me. As soon as I finish the Napoleon Perdis primer I’m currently using, I will get back to the Cover|FX. And then of course, I will return my extra tube and apply that $16 towards something else. Because a refund is out of the question.

Shopping problem? No. Not at all.

Someone on YouTube said the Bite Beauty Lush Lip Tints were amazing. Hearing the word ‘amazing’ immediately makes my cat ears stand up straight. I love amazing things. I live for amazing. So naturally I had to have this, and rightnownotlater. Decided to go for the darkest shade they have, Blackcurrant, because tints are very sheer and I prefer color. And man, was that the best decision ever. It’s a purple-y plum, but very natural looking. It shows up on your lips, so it’s obvious you’re wearing a dark color, but it’s not dark. Do you get what I’m saying? It’s like going goth, but not making a full commitment.

Oh but wait, there’s more! The formula on these is TO. DIE. FOR. I can’t even explain it properly. It just feels good to wear them. Like a hug, but lips only. Comforting, soft, gentle, hydrating and lovely. And if that doesn’t get your attention, there is Resveratrol in the center, and that’s an antioxidant found in red wine. Red wine! I don’t even know what that means, but they said red wine and now nothing else matters.

Last item in the haul is a sample jar of the Perricone MD Photo Plasma day cream. I took a peek of the insides, and I’m not gonna lie when I say the primary reason for purchasing this was because it looked like a delicious strawberry mousse. Second primary reason is because it was in those Beauty-To-Go bins right by the register and I was in line for a minute too long. However, that’s all beside the point.

I used this on Sunday, and while it looks very light and airy in the jar, it doesn’t apply that way. It smooths out just fine, but it dries kind of sticky, and then it takes forever for it to absorb completely. Other reviews are back and forth on this product’s greatness. Some feel exactly like me (the RIGHT answer), and some feel this is the most brilliant thing they’ve ever used (clearly wrong). I dunno. Kind of wish I could take it back, but I threw out the box because I never expected not to like it. I mean, STRAWBERRY MOUSSE! It should have been just like strawberry mousse.

On a positive note, when my skin gets drier in the winter time, this product might actually work better. So since I’m forced to hold onto it, that’s the new plan. Then I will report back in an Empties post to keep you all informed. Again, I am a professional and this is how I do things.

As for that sample of the GlamGlow mask – you know, the reason for going into Sephora in the first place – let me tell you a story. I had one of those horrible under the skin pimples right on my chin, red, sore and angry. I was looking for something that would draw out the gunk, to try to heal the zit faster. Sephora lady directs me to the GlamGlow display and points out the SuperMud Clearing Treatment. Full size is $69, which I knew already, but she offered up a sample and I gratefully accepted. Fast forward two days, and my pimple is gone. As in, magically disappeared off my face. Normally this kind of pimple sticks around for at least a week, where I proceed to press around on it, play with it, squeeze and pick at it. But not this time. This time I got it, and I got it good. Needless to say, there’s a GlamGlow in my shopping cart in the very near future.

One more teeny haul:

More Makeup Geek eyeshadows! I have a 27-slot Z-Palette that only has 5 slots filled, so naturally I can’t go around looking like that. Adding these 5 makes my total 10, and that is math and now you’re officially prepared to live life.

Shades I got (from top to bottom) are Cosmopolitan (rose gold), Beaches and Cream (matte browbone shade), Pop Culture (iridescent lavender), Mermaid (teal with gold shimmer), and Rockstar (silver with purple iridescence). I really like the eyeshadows. They’re blendable, which is my #1 important eyeshadow factor. If you can’t blend out, then I don’t want you. Even if you are the perfect shade of Heaven. Unless that is sacrilegious, and in that case I’ll take a hundred.

Enough talky. More later.

Jun6

Empties | May 2014

Posted on June 6, 2014 by Dianna

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Another month, another bag of trash. Got a whole load of empties for you my friends, so go ahead and cancel all your plans for today.

Let’s begin.

Face cleaning stuffs:

I went back to using my ol standby, the Equate version of the Neutrogena eye makeup remover. I used this exclusively for several years, but I had been trying different brands just for fun the last few months. For whatever reason though, I didn’t love it this time around. Did someone jack with the formula while I was away? Is this my punishment or something? Needless to say, I’m trying a Sephora brand right now cuz I don’t have time to be disappointed.

I’m not a huge fan of cleansing oils but I got this Josie Maran one in a kit so I couldn’t not use it because I would feel very guilty about it – another thing I don’t have time for. It did a good job of breaking up my makeup though, and it was probably the best one I’ve ever used. But I won’t buy a full size. However, if you’re the type who enjoys oil cleansers, I recommend giving this one a try.

Got a microdermabrasion cream from Miracle Skin Transformer. I think these products are so very boring. I’m sure there’s awesome benefits to scrubbing your face with these, but all I ever remember is feeling the microbeads all over my butt as I’m sitting in the bathtub. Cuz even though I rinse my tub out after every use, those beads are clingers. So after Skincare Sunday rolls around, my bath on Monday is always an experience.

Other than that, it exfoliates just fine. Buy some if you are so inclined.

Last deal in the batch is a cleanser from Kimberly Parry Organics. This sample didn’t last very long, so I couldn’t really form much of an opinion. But I will say this was not as creamy as the title implies. It was a loose consistency, not a thick rich cream like you’d be expecting. So a bit of a bummer there. If you’re super into textures like me, you’d understand exactly how I’m feeling right now. And also, you may continue to read this blog.

Now, body stuff:

I really liked this Soap & Glory Flake Away body scrub. It was a very gentle scrub with a nice clean scent. And my skin was so super soft after using this. I will be repurchasing this as soon as I’m done with this other sub par scrub I bought at TJ Maxx for $5.

Speaking of sub par, here’s something completely opposite. A body butter by Josie Maran. This stuff is glorious. First of all, the whipped consistency is what all other body butters need to be measured against. I mean, it’s almost exactly like sticking your fingers in a tub of Cool Whip, and I don’t know anybody who wouldn’t love to do that.

The scent, however, is objectionable. I got Sweet Citrus, which sounds like it’d be amazing. But it took me a minute. First application and I’m thinking it smelled like fresh cut grass, which quickly turned to more of a skunk smell. But then I switched my brainwave and decided it was actually a grapefruit smell, and after that I just loved it. So I don’t know if you have these same magical powers as me, but if so, go get this! Or you can just buy the vanilla apricot one instead. That might be a safer bet.

Real quick on this Caldrea body wash. I used it, it was fine. It wasn’t super tropical smelling, but maybe you’re fine with all that. You get it at Target. Probably other places as well, but I can’t do all your research for you. Otherwise, how will you learn to maneuver through life?

Last one is a face and body scrub by Bella Pelle. I decided I was just gonna use this on my body, and that turned out to be a very good decision. Cuz this stuff does not smell good not one bit. And this is coming from someone who’s been using a daily face peel made with salmon egg enzyme for the past month. So you know it must be bad. If you can get past the smell, I salute you. Why they couldn’t have thrown a wad of flowers or a lemon in the mix is beyond me. Straight up cornmeal mush. Blech.

Serums, et al:

When I used up the last of the Ahava Dead Sea Osmoter Concentrate, I about had a dramatic cry, complete with floor wallering, open-mouthed gasping and several whhhhhyyeeeeeee?!?!?s. This stuff had a super silky texture, and I swear I looked brighter and more youthful. Well worth every penny and I will repurchase one day when I finally decide to stop sampling everything on Planet Earth.

Then I was using this SkinCeuticals Hydrating B5 Gel, and I was quite impressed. It was a liquidy moisturizer that sank into your skin almost immediately and left behind this wonderful silkiness. Full size is $78, which means it’s ultra fancy and also I’ll probably never use it again. Oh well.

One product that I did end up buying a full size of is the Paula’s Choice 2% BHA Liquid. After about a week of using this, my pore size looked better, my face looked brighter, and even a coworker noticed something was different about me. That last thing occurred about 2.5 seconds before I went online and bought another bottle. Cuz that’s the gold standard of any product: notices from coworkers. If they give you a compliment, whatever is the cause of it is your new best friend.

I was curious about the Tarte maracuja eye cream, so I purchase a little jar of it on eBay for $12. I didn’t want to buy the full size in case I didn’t love it, and honestly, that was a pretty genius move on my part. Cuz I didn’t like this stuff that much. It was super thick, and stayed greasy under my eye for a long time. And I didn’t notice that it brightened anything at all. But according to the rest of the world, this product is great. Therefore I = idiot.

Last item is a moisturizer from Darphin that cost $295 in its full size form. So I relished this tiny sample like there was gold in it. Which it very well could have. This was a super rich and luxurious cream that I will never ever own again in my lifetime. Feel sorry for me yet? No? Okay, moving on.

Presenting: Matching Skincare Set!

Got this little kit of 29 skincare from Target right before my trip to Chicago last month. It included a cleanser, toner wipes (not pictured), serum, night cream and day cream. As a whole, this kit was alright. I really loved the day cream because it had a velvety texture, which is all I ever care about when it comes to moisturizers. And the serum was nice as well. But the toner pads weren’t very wet, and maybe that was the intention but I don’t prefer it. And the night cream was super duper thick and took forever to sink into my skin. But the worst of all was the cleanser. It had the most disgusting smell, and I just couldn’t do it. Like, I gave it a good try and everything, but it was so unbelievably gross. And I can tolerate some smell, per salmon egg enzyme previously mentioned. But I ain’t a superhero or anything, although I’m often mistaken for one.

Best quality photo award goes to:

Lawd. I’m not even sure how that happened.

Anyway. This Jonathan Product Volume Shampoo was no bueno. It was thin, smell was not that great, and it didn’t come with a conditioner. I used about 1/4 of this and decided to set it free.

Hair oils last forever I think. When you get down to the end of the bottle, they replicate and suddenly you still have a month’s worth of use left. So I decided to give this I.C.O.N. India Oil a couple weeks and then I was gonna move on. And that’s exactly what I did. It helped that this oil smelled like a male 70s porn star who walked into a swingers club with chest hair on full display.

Proof that hair oils replicate. I got this Mastey one from a Glossybox back in the fall, and there’s still a ton of product left in the bottle. But I got bored of using it, so I tossed it. Plus I had several other hair oil samples that I couldn’t get to because the Mastey just would not die.

Aside from that, this is a very nice hair oil and if I didn’t have other hair oils waiting patiently (or not so, in this case), I would have gladly finished up the bottle. This is how my brain works. Do not try to understand.

Last thing is the Alterna Caviar CC Cream for hair. I really liked this stuff. I thought it helped soften my hair and made it sleeker and less crazy. I would buy this again for sure. It’s not a miracle product or anything, but I think it’s worth the money.

Last batch. Makeup:

I freaking love this Laura Geller Spackle foundation primer. It’s primarily a texture issue, but that’s really the only thing that counts in my book as far as primers go. It feels cool on the face, absorbs easily, and smooths and softens. I put it on my list of products to repurchase. After I use up the 15 other primers I’ve hoarded, that is.

Last thing is a lip plumper from Michael Marcus. First of all, lemme just say this doesn’t plump for shit. And I gave it plenty of opportunity. I used this product every single day for 6 months. Lip status: status quo.

But I did like it for what I used it for. I would apply this in the morning as the very first step in my routine. It had a peppermint sensation, so it felt cooling and nice on the lips and helped to wake me up. By the time I finished my makeup, my lips were properly hydrated and ready for lipstick. So it wasn’t a complete bust of a product despite its ridiculous plumping claims.

We’ve made it to the end. Is everyone awake? If so, you are loved. Trust me.

More later. Goodnight!

Jun3

Buying Stuff: Episode 14

Posted on June 3, 2014 by Dianna

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So while I’ve been posting one box review after another, it may appear I have not been out shopping for new goodies. Hahahahahaha. Do you even read this blog? Lemme just put your mind at rest.

Birchbox had a little shipping delay and they were unable to get my box out on time with the rest of the world. They felt horribly guilty (as they should), so I was given $10 worth of Birchbox points to help make up for it. I will accept your apology, and buy myself this Cynthia Rowley eyeshadow with it:

These shadows were very powdery, but kind of in a good way. I thought they blended well and looked very nice on my eyelids. Perfect spring shades, even though we are now coming up on summer. But who follows tradition? Not me! I will wear my white pants in December if I feel like it. Even though they are a size too small now so probably shouldn’t do that. White pants are very unforgiving in a lumpy-thigh-skin sort of way. And if they cling to you like they are holding on for dear life – well, that’s not a look anyone should embrace. I mean, maybe supermodels, but then after that, NOBODY.

What am I going on about? I dunno.

Look at this little piece of artwork I made:

I have too much time on my hands.

I saw this beautiful purple and olive green NARS combo at Sephora and knew instantly I had to have it. If there are two colors more suited for each other than purple and green, please let me know. But also I have brown eyes, and if I’m not mistaken, purple and green are great complimentary colors for brown or hazel eyes.

Aside from all that, these are nice eyeshadows. Not extremely pigmented on me, but really, what do I know? Everyone else in the world disagrees, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I am very hard to please. We’ve established this already.

Speaking of pigmentation, or lack thereof, I present to you:

It’s Marc Jacobs blush. Should be amazing. Color in the pan looks to die for. Color on the cheek … not so much. I swear, I about got carpal tunnel swirling my blush brush over this thing, trying – desperately – to get it to release it’s beautiful lilac pinkness. I don’t even have dark skin. In fact, I’m on the lighter side of medium, and this barely showed up on me. No, I wasn’t expecting straight up purple cheeks, but come on! You are $30; now dadgum act like it.

If you’re curious, this color is called Outspoken. And I will say, once I sort of swirled enough of the ribbed impression off the top of the blush, the pigmentation increased a bit. Not gonna go out of my way to sing any praises or anything, but it did get better. Thank goodness, because y’all know I can’t be bothered to return anything back to the store.

Next up is this thing:

Now that I am a Sephora VIB Rouge, I get included on the secret emails that promote exclusive freebies with purchase. Never one to disregard an exclusive freebie, I got a sample of the Dior Dioraddict It-Lash mascara. I had it for about two seconds before I decided I needed a full tube. This stuff is awesome. It fans my lashes out like butterfly wings. I just love it. You can get your own tube now; it’s not just for VIB anymore. And I highly recommend that you should. Just do what I say. I am the boss of you.

Along with the Dior mascara, they had another VIB Rouge sample promo going on where I could pick three free deluxe trial sizes of an array of products. The next three photos is what I chose.

Why would I buy Urban Decay makeup setting spray? Cuz I don’t own any and I was curious if it actually worked. So I used it and honestly I can’t tell much because I don’t ever feel as if my makeup has fallen off. I don’t even know what that would look like. My face always has makeup on, and it always looks the same all day long. Do people actually have issues with their makeup just melting away as if nothing ever happened? Am I being naive? Am I being a butthole? Probably both.

I will say, however, that if I use a matte setting powder (currently It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores) then spray this on, my t-zone oil is less apparent. Like right now I just came in from outside where it is 90 degrees and hideous, and my forehead, nose and chin feel very dry. The good kind of dry. So perhaps there is something to this setting spray thing. I am going to do a scientific experiment tomorrow and use my setting powder and NO spray and see what happens. Because before I spent $30 on a full size bottle of this stuff, I need to know if it actually works and it’s not just the psychological brain trickery that seems to haunt me at every turn.

Another sample is this cutie pie:

It’s Benefit Fake Up Concealer. I got the shade medium and it seems to be a good choice for me. I have been using it for the past few days, and I may consider buying the full size. I like the way it blends out with my concealer brush. I probably already have a concealer that does this, but you don’t end up with hoards of makeup with that kind of logic. So we’re just gonna push that thought out of our heads immediately. And also, please disregard the fleshy hand. Who knew you could gain weight there?

You can never have too many cleansers. Here’s proof:

At one point, I owned the Boscia black illuminating mask, which was a super fun peel-off kind. Thought I’d give the matching cleanser a whirl. I haven’t used it yet as it’s in line behind 3 other cleansers, but hopefully I will use it before the end of the month. One thing to note about this cleanser, and perhaps its most endearing quality, is that it warms up as soon as you put it on your skin. I used to have a mask like that a long time ago, and I loooooved it. The warming sensation feels way better than a cooling sensation, so I’m really excited to give this a try.

Big nerd alert. Sorry.

Okay, this next item is the must luxury of all the items I’ve ever purchased:

Ummmmm, Tom Ford. That’s almost all I need to say about this, and you’d be nodding your head saying, Yes, girl, I know. Cuz that’s why you’re reading this blog: you understand. But for those that need explicit instruction, I will oblige.

Glossybox had $25 gift cards to Bergdorf Goodman in their May boxes, which I told you about (if you’ve been reading this blog like a proper human being). Well, I could have gone on their site and found something for $25 and end up getting it for free, but like a true makeup addict, I lose all sensibility and decide to buy something horrendously expensive so I could get a $25 discount instead. I mean, honestly, when would there be another chance to get a Tom Ford eyeshadow quad for $25 off? Never. These things don’t end up in the reject bin. It was my only chance.

So now I’m feeling pretty good about myself. I used it once (Silvered Topaz is the name) and it was very pretty as expected. It now rests inside it’s little brown velvet pouch inside my makeup drawer next to the Dolce & Gabbana and Dior eyeshadow compacts. Will I use it again? Probably. But more importantly, I own it. And that’s all that matters.

Below is a little Sephora haul:

Do not even ask why I bought that super dark burgundy metallic OCC Lip Tar. You already know the answer. In an effort to own all the things I had to get it as I didn’t have any OCC in the stash. But this color is gorgeous. I tried it on in the store, and wowza! If it was October and I had a big ol sweater on, this dark lip would’ve put the entire world in its place. It’s stunning. Plus, you only have to use a pin drop in order to get a full application. That’s not even an exaggeration. I will own this tube for at least 15 years. Talk about value for your money.

And if you’re of the curious kind, the color is Black Metal Dahlia.

Next item is the Buxom lip polish in the color Gabby. I love these things. I own three now. They have an addictive cool tingle that feels awesome on your lips in the summer. It literally makes you stop sweating. They don’t advertise that, but they should.

Ran out of makeup remover, so thought I’d give the Sephora brand a try. I always get the waterproof version because I feel it gets my mascara off way better than the regular kind. I’ve been using this for a couple weeks now, and I really like it. Does a great job. I think I will most likely repurchase this if I’m already in Sephora and I need some. However, for about $4 less, Ulta carries the Lumene brand and it works just as good. Never mind that Ulta and Sephora are in the same mall and I could easily go to either one to pick up eye makeup remover. I make up my own rules and exceptions to those rules, so just let it go. It’s a puzzle only I can figure out.

Last item in the Sephora haul is the new Bare Minerals Bareskin serum foundation with brush. I got a little sample of this and no sooner did I get it on my face was I out the door and standing in front of Sephora about 15 minutes before they actually opened. This is the most beautiful foundation I own, better than the Chanel (I’m sorry!) or the Shiseido (am I actually saying this?). I don’t even know if I can explain it properly, but here is my best effort:

If you have normal or dry skin, cancel all your plans today and get to Sephora or Ulta immediately. If you have slightly oily skin, get a sample first to see how it wears for you. The formula of this foundation is very liquidy and has a slight slick texture that may seem oily although it’s oil free. I have an oily t-zone, and I still love it, but I do set it pretty good with my transluscent powder. If you have oily skin all over, you may not like this. Again, try a sample and give it a shot.

The finish is just unreal. My skintone has never looked so even, and I have a very splotchy naked face. It’s not matte, and it’s not dewy, just somewhere in between. It’s lovely. Just lovely. I don’t even know why you are still reading this and not in your car on the way to the store. What are you waiting for?!

It does have an accompanying brush that I bought because it is quite unique. Looks like a flat top kabuki, but instead of it being completely flat top there is a little divot in the center, or a “well”, to drop the liquid into. I’m not sure of it’s purpose, honestly, so I think you could probably use any brush and get a great application. I will say that every time I’ve used this brush, it’s shed on me. Boo.

See below:

It’s a Z-Palette. At the time I bought this, I had nothing to put in it. I was just preparing to put stuff in it. I wanted some Makeup Geek eyeshadows, and all the beauty gurus put them in a Z-Palette. What’s good enough for them is guaranteed good enough for me. I’m easily influenced.

So I got my first batch of Makeup Geek shadows:

Picked out these colors cuz I felt they were very summery and fun. The green is called Appletini, then there is Yellow Brick Road, Last Dance is the purple-y shade, Frappe is a matte brown, and Mango Tango is the coral. These babies blend like a dream and I heart them sooo much! And now I’ve addicted myself. I have 5 more shadows on their way to me as we speak. In my defense, my Z-Palette holds 27 shadows and hell if I’m having a half empty Z-Palette. How tacky and gauche that would be. Pffft.

Last thing in the haul is more eyeshadow palettes because I can’t control my shoppin’ hand:

These are both from Sleek Makeup and they come straight from jolly ole England via the Royal Mail. Next up: lunch with the Queen. I know; so fancy! Anyway.

These i-Divine palettes are very inexpensive, about $12. There are several to choose from, and I feel I got the most varied of them all. The first one is called Snapshot and the second one is apparently limited edition (did not know!) called Lagoon. I used a few of the colors today, and they seems to be alright. I did feel like I was blending longer than necessary, but perhaps I was off my game this morning. But also I was trying to mix a yellow with a teal and a black, so maybe those need extra TLC anyway. Can’t wait to play around more and try out some very fun looks. If I go to work looking like a clown, it’s all in the name of research.

That’s it guys. Ginormous haul. But I got paid today so don’t worry, more is already on its way. I waste no time. In fact, if I’d treat every aspect of my life in the same way I treat my makeup addiction, I’d probably be President by now.

Toodles!

Jun2

Beauty DNA | May 2014

Posted on June 2, 2014 by Dianna

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Last box of the month. All in time for my new June boxes to start arriving. My job is never done people. NEVER.

Here’s what came in my Beauty DNA box:

I got two products instead of the usual one so that surprised me. It’s a lip and eye theme, which also surprised me cuz the product categories are skin, hair and body. I was expecting body this month, so maybe this is their interpretation? Well, regardless, I’m very happy with what I got.

The Avene Cold Cream Lip Balm seems like a pretty standard, verging on boring, product. And while that may be somewhat true, I’m good with it cuz I like to put on plain balms in the evening. And if it’ll help cure my daily flaky lip bits, then I’m all for it. It’s also made in France, which means it’s ultra fancy.

The other item is a mascara by RevitaLash. I love my mascaras so always happy to try new ones. I don’t believe this one is supposed to help your lashes grow or anything – they have a separate serum for that – but it did a great job with fanning out my lashes and making them look long and lush. It’s a keeper, which is good cuz I had an empty mascara hole that needed filled. I ended up tossing a couple over the weekend cuz I just didn’t like them – a Becca one, which had a very dry formula and made my lashes crunchy, and a theBalm one which had a very wet formula that did nothing for me.

I encourage all of you to check out Beauty DNA. I think it’s an awesome subscription box. Out of the three boxes they’ve sent me so far, I’ve loved three of them. If you’re good at math, you’d already know that’s 100%.

Time to go! More fun things tomorrow. Got a beauty haul to share.

Jun1

Glossybox | May 2014

Posted on June 1, 2014 by Dianna

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It’s June 1 and that can mean only one thing: I failed to get all my reviews in before the end of May. I suck so bad. In my defense, I watched two movies on Video on Demand (Gravity and Her), plus went grocery shopping. So as you can see, my day was var var busy.

In that case, all is forgiven.

Here is what came in my Glossybox:

This was a highly anticipated box. They teamed up with Bergdorf Goodman and touted this as a super luxurious box. And while I can’t say expectation and reality was completely in sync, I do feel that it was pretty awesome.

First product is a cleanser from Iluminage. I’m all for receiving cleansers, as I know I’ll use it regardless what kind it is. So it’s a pretty safe bet. I haven’t used this one yet but it’s up soon. The description says it’s luxuriously creamy, and I love both those things. I’ll keep you posted on if that’s actually true.

This next thing is the most expensive item I’ve ever received in any box. It’s the ReVive Intensite Volumizing Eye Serum. Full size of this stuff is a whopping $350. I other words, hope I don’t love it! The claims of this product is to fill out the hollows of the eye, and diminish dark circles, under-eye bags, and crepiness. I’ve been using it for a few days now, and I’m not sure if it’s fact or psychological brain trickery, but I’d swear my eye lines are less apparent. Not sure if it’s supposed to be an immediate result or not, but I’m almost certain I notice a difference. But then again, for $350 I dadgum better.

Then I got another eye cream which I thought was slightly redundant. It’s the Lancer Eye Contour Lifting Cream and it pretty much does the same thing as the other one but for only $95 instead. I have no idea if it works just as well but I’ll find out as soon as I’ve used up the ReVive. This one says it’s ultra-rich so it may be a thicker cream versus the thin ReVive serum. But I’ll let you know in a future empties post. You’re so excited, I can tell.

I own a lot of foundation primers, but I’m always excited to try a new one. The Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot primer is one I do not own and was so happy to get. Yes, a $45 product got me more excited than the $350 one.

Texture is a big thing with me, especially with primers. This one is more creamy than silicone-y, and once applied it made my skin feel very smooth and soft. That hooked me right there. I almost want to go out and buy it without even finishing the sample, all while hoarding about 15 other primers that need used up. I’m that impressed. So yeah, I’m probably gonna do that very soon. Once I get the idea, it’s very hard to ignore myself.

I did get some perfume, which I am very bored by. But it’s also by Atelier so I’m gonna keep it. I make no sense sometimes. The scent is Rose Anonyme and it’s $80 for 1 ounce. Also it’s made in France, where all fancy things come from. The top notes are bergamot, ginger and Turkish rose. I don’t know what any of that means, but figured somebody out there might appreciate a description. All I know is that it smells alright. And coming from a non-perfume lover like me, that’s high praise. For real, you shouldn’t even listen to me if you love perfume cuz I’m honestly no help whatsoever.

And then there was a repeat. Got another tube of Alterna CC cream for hair. I’m giving it to my mom, not because I didn’t like it but because I don’t feel like sampling it again. Hair products are probably my least favorite things to receive cuz my repertoire consists of zero products of any kind. I use no mousse, gel, hairspray, wax, texturizer – none of it. And somehow still manage to make hair magic every morning. I dunno. Just lucky I guess.

Last thing, and definitely my favorite in the entire box is the $25 gift card to Bergdorf Goodman. This is a no strings attached gift card. I didn’t even have to join an email blast. So instead of buying something for free, I decided to apply it towards something really expensive so I could get a $25 discount. Don’t argue with my logic.

Any day now, I’ll be receiving my brand new Tom Ford eyeshadow quad. I’m so happy, I could just about pee my pants. Look for it coming up in a future post. Again, you’re thrilled.

Okay, time to go. It’s Skincare Sunday so I have so pampering to get to. Ciao!

May30

Petit Vour | May 2014

Posted on May 30, 2014 by Dianna

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This morning was stupid. I spent an extraordinary amount of time trying to get my liquid eyeliner just perfect. You know how hard that is when aiming for symmetry? I did right eye which was fine. Then left eye had a wonky bit that I was trying to even out. So I had to go back to the right eye to match the thickness of the left eye. Then it went all to hell.

In short, I was late to work. Blah.

In better news, Petit Vour sent me this:

I love 3 out of 4 products. That’s good stats. Let’s start with the poo and end on a high note. The Harvey Prince Hello perfume. I don’t like perfume. Doesn’t even matter that this perfume captures the scent of summer perfectly. Lemon, grapefruit, floral notes, vanilla. Doesn’t matter that it invokes a feeling of sunshine and happiness. I just don’t care much for perfume. But you might care, so I’m letting you know this smells like blue skies, gentle breezes, and smiling faces. Are you fully informed now? Yes? My job is done.

I was watching a YouTube video no more than 2 minutes before opening this box. One of my gurus was talking about his top 10 must have products. And one of them was the Paula’s Choice C15 Super Booster. I thought to myself, well I need THAT immediately. Cuz that’s how I purchase about 97.83749% of the things I own – by sheer influence.

Anyway, I finish the video then open the box, and would you believe the C15 Super Booster is in there?! Like magic or voodoo. Or conjuring. Whatever the case, I own it now and I’m very excited. Apparently it’s an anti-aging superhero that takes care of brown spots and wrinkles. Plus, reviews are glowing; 4.5 out of 5 stars. Can’t get better than that! Well, I suppose 5 stars would be better, but you know there’s always a ruiner in the bunch that gives it a 3 cuz it costs too much money or something equally as trivial. If it replaces my old face with a new one, the cost is a point rendered moot.

Got a pretty red lipgloss from Aromi. I love red lipgloss. It’s my favorite way to wear red without feeling prostitute-y. The color of this one is very lovely. It’s not sticky, and has a great sweet smell. Bad side is that it gathered in my flakey lip bits. Not sure if it’s Aromi’s formula or if any lipgloss would’ve done that. But regardless, I love the lipgloss and I’ll use it for sure.

Last product is a grapefruit and bergamot hand cream from Deep Steep. This tube is yellow. I love the color yellow. You could be selling slug trail but if you put it in a yellow tube I’d probably buy it. Aside from that the smell is glorious. You know how when you were a kid, and your mama would pour you a bowl of Trix cereal? The smell of that cereal is undeniable. Deep Steep has captured it in this hand cream. Probably not on purpose. But it smells good, so it all worked out.

Short and sweet for your Friday! Enjoy your weekend y’all. I’ll be back tomorrow for more fun stuff!

Snacks On Rotation

surprisingly, not a food blog

Sample Society | June 2014

Ipsy | June 2014

Boxycharm | June 2014

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | June 2014

Buying Stuff: Episode 15

Empties | May 2014

Buying Stuff: Episode 14

Beauty DNA | May 2014

Glossybox | May 2014

Petit Vour | May 2014

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