Category Archives: Beauty Box Swag

Apr22

Ipsy | April 2014

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Guess what?  Another box.

Well, it’s the way we do it at my house.  If there’s a day that goes by that there isn’t a box on my front porch, someone probably stole it.

So here is this month’s Ipsy:

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Not bad.  There’s always a poo poo though.  This time it’s the Dr. Brandt microdermabrasion.  Let me clarify that the product isn’t bad or anything, it’s just I had already received a tube of this several months back in my Birchbox and I’m not in the mood for repeats.  If you’re curious, however, it does exfoliate pretty good. And now you know everything you need to know about this product.  Moving right along.

I’ve always wanted to own something by Cailyn, and now I do – it’s the tinted lip balm in the color Apple Pink.  At first I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it because the color looked beige-y orange in the pot.  But then I applied it and let me just say I heart it so much! It’s actually a nice pastel orange and once I add a little sheer gold lipgloss on top the color turns glorious. And I swear it makes my face skin look more youthful. Yes, I said face skin. It’s a thing.

You won’t even believe what I’m about to say. Get ready for the shock of your life. I got this Demeter perfume roller ball thingie, and it about sent me to sleep because perfume = blah. But I did my do-diligence and gave it a little sniffy anyway. And, I’ll admit … sheepishly … I am in full-fledged cahoots with this perfume. I luuuuuub it! The label says it’s Jasmine scent but it smelled just like honeysuckle to me. And honeysuckle reminds me of the time I made out with a boy in the bushes at daycare when I was 7. First off, it wasn’t a proper make-out so it’s ok. And secondly, they weren’t very good babysitters. They also smoked cigarettes at the lunch table. They’re not in business anymore. (And I turned out just fine. Mostly.)

And since I can never leave well enough alone, I received my 53rd Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner to add to the collection. I’m not in charge of what gets put in the boxes, obviously (hence microdermabrasion). But this is the Velvet version, whatever that means. I’m not sure it’s any different or better than all the others I own. I put it on my waterline and it didn’t last an hour. But these work really well on the upper lid so I suppose I’ll just do that then.

I bored myself just now. Sorry. Well, in my defense there’s been an onslaught of black eyeliners in my beauty boxes this month. Is there some sort of supply and demand situation happening that I’m unaware of? Cuz honestly, I’m okay. No need to send me your entire stock of eyeliner. I’m set for at least a trillion years.

Last product in the box is a very boring champagne eyeshadow from Elizabeth Mott. Is there anyone left in the world that can say they don’t already own a champagne colored eyeshadow? Nomads, cave women maybe. But normal people? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still gonna use it. It’s pretty. Just slightly redundant. But if anyone wants to send me something turquoise or maybe periwinkle, that’d be great.

Well I’m done now. Gotta go sit in the bathtub for an hour and a half. Enjoy your evening!

Apr17

Love Lula | April 2014

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Let me tell you a little story about the Love Lula box.  I was laying in bed about two in the morning, and I had just canceled my Beauty Box 5 subscription.  I was a little heartbroken, because even though I never really liked the products I got in my Beauty Box 5, I still enjoyed the process of opening the box.  I could have consoled myself with my normal bowl of ice cream, but instead I found Love Lula.  And just like that, my heart was healed.

If anyone tries to tell me my 11 beauty box subscriptions isn’t emotional therapy, I will karate chop them in the throat, complete with a hiiii-yaaaa! and spitlets.

Anwyay.

Before you rush out and get your own Love Lula box, you must know it comes from England.  They do not have a monthly subscription option for U.S. customers (at this time), only a pre-paid three month one.  And once the currency was converted, the monthly charge came out to be roughly $29 per box.  So it’s not necessarily cheap, but I wanted another damn box and thought one coming from jolly ole England might be super fun.

I can convince myself of anything.  I subscribed in about 2.5 seconds.

My March box is out there floating in the ocean somewhere (probably) but my April box showed up about 11 days after they shipped it.  They are in the process of sending out another March box, just so you know.  Customer Service is top notch.  I didn’t catch one hint of annoyance at my 15 emails inquiring about the whereabouts of March.  What happened in real life could have been one major eye roll and angry typing (verging on all caps), but I’ll never know.  Us OCD types can be quite obnoxious, I won’t lie.

Here’s what I got for April:

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I’m not going to pretend all this was worth the $29 I paid, but just staring at that adorable little lip balm package makes it almost worth it.  But first things first – that blasted one-time-use packet.  It’s a Jane Iredale Glow Time BB Cream one.  The envelope it was stuck to said it comes in 6 shades, but the packet doesn’t have a color listed on it so I have no idea what shade it’s in or if it would even come close to matching my skin.  The website says it color-adjusts, so I’ll just hope for the best.  Apparently the texture is what they lovingly describe as “velvet” and that makes my cat ears perk up instantly.  (Cat people will understand what cat ears are.  If you aren’t a cat person, what is wrong with you?)  I’m super big on texture, so anything that claims to be velvet definitely has my attention.

Got a couple samples of Sante shower gel in the lemon and coconut scents.  I’ve used the lemon one already, and it had a nice smell.  But what else can you say about a shower gel?  It performed like a shower gel.  No scrubby bits, just a shower gel.  Hopefully you’re getting my picture because carpal tunnel is about to set in.

As for that super cute package of lip balm, I just about abandoned my entire box and locked myself in the bedroom with just this lip balm.  I’m such a sucker for packaging.  You could be selling slug trail, but if it comes looking like it stepped out of a 19th century European apothecary, you can put all your money on the fact I’m buying it.  Seriously, all your money.  That’s how much packaging means to me.

Now this Figs & Rouge lip balm isn’t from the 19th century, but it is European.  It’s more of a girly chic motif, which also excites me to no end.  Plus, the flavor is Mocha Orange and I’m like whaaaaaaa…??  Let me put this in perspective for you.  You know how at Christmas or Valentines you get a box of assorted chocolates and sometimes there’s a map of flavors but sometimes there’s not.  And when there’s not, you’re eating chocolate all willy nilly, biting into a coconut, a caramel, or one of those truffle things, nodding and making lip-licking noises because you’re so incredibly happy you’re beside yourself with joy (but no manners).  But then you bite into one that’s filled with orange cream and all your daydreams are destroyed in the blink of an eye.  Well, that’s not me, not even close.  I am of the rare minority who would scissor off your pointer finger for a bite of the orange cream ones.

What am I going on about?  I dunno.  I just love the smell of chocolate and orange and this lip balm makes me happy.  The end.

Next item is the black kohl eyeliner from UNE.  They are a French company so instantly I’m interested.  I used this liner the other day, and it is nice and creamy and applied smoothly.  But it is also the third black eyeliner I’d gotten in a beauty box this month so I was kind of like ho hum pigs bum.  I mean, I’ll use it because it came from France and all, but it doesn’t excite me to the point of madness.  That’s all I’m saying.  Moving right along.

Last item in the box is the REN Rosa Centifolia Express Makeup Remover.  At first I was like, yay a new makeup remover because I’m a big fat makeup dork.  I thought it was a liquid; however, instead it’s a cleansing milk.  I don’t like putting lotiony textures on my eyes.  They feel goopy to me, and dangerous.  Because I’ve never wanted to open my eyes and look all around me as if I had never seen any of it before quite like I do when I’m forced to have my eye closed due to a goop/eyeball impending doom scenario.  Why is that exactly?  Am I a 3 year old child?  But for the sake of science I did put this goop on my eyeball.  Did not enjoy, but I survived.

So there you have it, my first Love Lula experience.  One of these days my March box will appear, and then I will have a May box to review as well.  Not sure if I will sign up for another round because $29 and the agony of waiting for my box to sail across the Atlantic Ocean sometimes is just too much to bear.  But we’ll see.  I’m finiky and change my mind a lot (due to the aforementioned 3 year old child disorder).

In the meantime, have a great Thursday.

Apr14

Sample Society | April 2014

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Sorry I was MIA over the weekend.  The post office delivered one of my packages to someone else (no clue who) so I was pouting for three days.  Luckily it was just a $10 phone case, not a beauty item, so if it never shows up in my mailbox I suppose I’ll live.   I won’t like it, but I’ll live.  If it was makeup or skin care, however, the world has ended.

As you’d expect.

Anyway, my Sample Society box came in last week and it’s sooooo much better than the previous one.  Lookie here:

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I posted this picture on Instagram and confused a few people.  The items in the back are props only, I repeat, PROPS ONLY.  I was trying to take a more flattering and colorful photo, and I suppose I failed.  That’s what happens when trying to do stuff while in the bathtub, as I have violated my own rule that states only lazy things happen in there.  A brief bout of ADD, that’s my only excuse.

So let’s get started.  First things first, I got a little jar of Clark’s Botanicals Deep Moisture Mask.  Oh how I love masks.  I wish I could do a mask every night, but probably my face would fall right off or something.  This one is supposed to revitalize stressed, dry complexions.  Has antioxidants in it as well, which is always a good thing.  I haven’t used it yet because as you know I have a very large cache of masks waiting in the wings.  But I’m very excited to start.  Also, the full-size is $72 – which means absolutely nothing to me whatsoever.  Certainly not that expensive is better or more fancy or anything as shallow as that.

La la la la la la …

I’m a horrible person.  I know.

Next little jar is the H20+ Aquafirm+ Micro-Collagen Moisturizer.  This one fights fine lines and loss of firmness with collagen-boosting moisture.  But most impressive is it contains marine microspheres and sea nutrient barrier.  What is all that?!  I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure I want it. But full-size is only $50 so I don’t want it as much as the other one.

Just kidding. (Kind of.)

The flowered tin would be a cute little travel candle by Illume.  I got the scent Anemone, which is a nice citrusy-and-something-else scent.  I’m not opposed to candles if they smell good.  And by good I mean smells like food.  I don’t want a candle that smells like warm laundry, a pine tree, or something called Ocean Escape because that’s not a thing.  I want food ones, forever and always.  Chocolate, coconut, apple strudel.  If you send me a candle that smells like Winter Wonderland or Crisp Country Air, I delete.  Just like that.  No looking back.

I’m getting worked up.  On to the next thing.

Got a really pretty blue eyeliner pencil by Butter London.  This is a nice, creamy liner that goes on smooth and smudges out easily.  I wore it on my bottom waterline last week, and it was a nice contrast to my brown eyes.  I don’t really know what else to say about it until I wear it on my top eyelid to see how it fares.  At this point, it’s just an eyeliner.

Last item are these japanese blotting papers from Tatcha.  I don’t have much of a necessity for these, as I don’t tend to get very oily.  However, they are adorable and adorable trumps necessity about 97.947604% of the time.  Just ask my daughter who once brought home a live baby chicken and I let her keep it without blinking an eye for a second.

That’s it, y’all.  Short and sweet.  I usually like to sample the products a bit before doing a review, so I apologize for basically a very useless and uninformative post.  Entertaining, yes.  But definitely, absolutely useless.  Maybe next time.  I do have a large haul to discuss because SOMEBODY keeps sending me 20% off coupons. SOMEBODY doesn’t realize what they’ve done.

Ulta, I’m talking to you.

Apr8

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | April 2014

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First box of the month!  Get excited, people.  And then really get excited cuz I know you were faking it the first time.

I know, it’s hard to muster up emotion when all these fabulous things are happening to other people (me).  But seriously, you can subscribe to them too and then we can be excited together.  Plus, if there is one person in the world who can be your biggest cheerleader-slash-enabler, it’s me.  You may be broke, but you got 11 beauty box subscriptions.  I see nothing wrong with that picture.

It’s Blush Mystery Beauty Box time.  Here’s what they sent:

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I will admit that last month was a better month.  But I’m not hugely disappointed.  Let me explain.  Poo-poo #1 is the fact that they sent me a duplicate freebie, and it wasn’t even a very good freebie.  The Elizabeth Arden Untold perfume was in my January or February box, and I had given it away almost immediately.  And now they’ve sent me another one.  I’m being stalked and I no likee.

Poo-poo #2 is a nail polish from Cult Cosmetics in a very unfortunate grey color.  I know I sound like I’m on repeat when I say I don’t prefer nail polish of any kind whatsoever, but the least they could’ve done was send a color fit for the season.  I’d at least use something in lilac or robin egg blue.  I mean, I’d use it like once and then stash it in my drawer for the next 15 years.  But still.

Poo-poo #3 is only a half poo.  Because it is Jonathan Product shampoo for fine/thin hair.  Sounds alright.  But there is no matching conditioner.  Excuse me, what?  How am I supposed to use the shampoo then?  Just apply it on my hair all willy-nilly and hope for the best?  Then I realized I can use it with my Carol’s Daughter hair mask and call it good.  Crisis averted.  Carry on.

They sent two other little freebies (aside from the perfume) that I was fine with, so we’re done with poo-poos.  I got this little leg hair inhibiting towelette by Whish.  First of all, what?  Definitely got my attention.  Apparently, after a shower, spa treatment or yoga session (very specific, mind you), you swipe this all over for a refreshed, cooling feeling that also slows future hair growth.  Huh.  How about that.  I’m almost certain there is no possibility whatsoever that that actually happens.  Someone needs to whip me up some scientific data like stat.

The other freebie is a little packet of toner by Jade Spa.  I was fine with this.  It was actually kind of nice.  Aside from the alarming brown color.  I thought for a split second I got a rotten one.  But it smelled herbally and nice.  Full size is $29.50.

In other words, I’m over it already.  Next.

So I truly love dry shampoo. The whiter the powder, the better. I’m sure it’s mostly psychological brain trickery, but the white powder is clear, concise evidence the dry shampoo is working. Now, I got sent this Oscar Blandi version that has invisible white powder. I’m not sure that’s even a thing, much less be able to handle it properly. Invisible white powder? I’m scared.

Then there is this dual lip liner/lip stick crayon from La Bella Donna. It’s kind of a nifty little thing since it’s an all-in-one and very convenient. And they sent me a nice color at least. Therefore, approved. Also, it costs $27, so even if I hated it I’d probably still love it.

Last item in the box is my favorite hands down. It’s this ridiculously expensive moisturizer from Darphin Paris. I’m not sure who can even afford this stuff other than celebrities or debutantes. It’s a mere $295 drop in the bucket my friends. Hopefully it’s the most horrible moisturizer I’ve ever used cuz I can’t afford to be tempted in this horrifying manner.

Well that is all for today. I have another box arriving tomorrow plus a big o batch of haul stuff to report. Look forward to that, and I’ll see you soon. Night!

Apr2

Beauty DNA | March 2014

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Remember that time where I subscribed to a box that was good for only three months, and then the three months passed and the subscription ended?  Well, I consoled myself with this:

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This beautiful thing came from my new subscription to Beauty DNA.  Beauty DNA is different from my other boxes because they only send you one full-size item.  But the program is completely customizeable – I filled out a very in-depth profile and told them exactly what I wanted and didn’t want out of their three categories (skin, hair, and body).  So when I say they guarantee never to send me cellulite cream, they won’t.  Because who wants cellulite cream?  Or stretch mark cream?  Or any other cream to remind oneself of how unattractive their thighs are?  No thank you.  I pass.

Anyway, my first item is the Ahava Dead Sea Osmoter Concentrate serum.  Normal cost is $60 so I’m thrilled to have this.  I love serums.  They are one of my favorite things to own in the skin care realm.  In fact, if I could just buy serums and facial masks every day of my life, I would be the happiest girl in all the land.  That ain’t no joke.  If you saw my face when I opened the box, you would’ve thought there was a million dollars in there.  There wasn’t, obviously, but it was pretty dang close.

First of all, this serum has the most amazing texture.  It absorbs so quickly into my skin and leaves behind the silkiest, smoothest feeling.  That right there is worth the $60 I didn’t pay for it.  And then of course there is some scientific hoo hah that it claims to do, but I have yet to see that.  Only been using it for less than a week, so I suppose I’ll wait.  If it is successful, I will have smoother, more luminous and youthful skin in four weeks.

Looking forward to what they’ll send me next month.  It won’t be skin care because they alternate categories, so it’ll either be hair or body.  And hopefully it’s not something I already own because you know how much shit I buy.  In fact, there’s another haul post coming up soon.

On a side note, I dropped my phone into my (used) toilet yesterday, so you’re lucky this post is even happening.  After all the screaming, distressing, and sheer overreacting (and anti-bacteria-ing), I’m just plain exhausted.

See ya tomorrow.

Apr1

Glossybox | March 2014

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Happy April everybody!  My favorite month of the year because the grass gets green, flowers bloom and temperatures get warmer.  To celebrate, I’m going to review a box I received during the month of March.  (I tried to squeeze ’em all in, I swear I did.)

Glossybox was actually early this time, as opposed to last month’s which was shipped out at the very very end of February.  I don’t actually care that much, but I know a lot of other customers were complaining.  All I know is that I receive this box about every 30 days, so technically, it’s not late to me.

But I digress.  Back to the point of this post.  The box:

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First things first, the box smelled.  I mean, literally smelled.  Like old man cologne.  The kind that appears in bars or swingers clubs.  Shoooo weeee!  Alas, it was just this bar of soap by Alex and Ani.  Blech.  Delete.  It immediately went into my husband’s shower.  He can smell like an old man swinger all he wants, but for me, no thank you.

As a bonus, Alex and Ani also included one of their gold bracelet thingies.  Again, not my style, but my daughter loved it.

Received yet another tube of Alterna Bamboo Plumping Strand Expand cream.  I’m selling this on eBay as we speak, so rush out and get it please.  I’ll hold my review on this until someone buys this dadgum thing and gets it out of my house.

…

…

Fine.  I did not like this stuff that much.  It leaves a horrid tacky residue in your hair that feels dirty and gross.  Granted, I probably used too much, but whatever.  In my defense, they do not give a specific dosage on the tube, just squeeze it out and apply it all over.  This is why I need clear, concise direction, people.  Leave me to my own devices and look what happens.  I had to wash my hair three times that week.  The earth done tipped sideways over that, my friends.  I have used it a couple more times since; I purposefully applied nothing bigger than dime-size, and it fared much better.  However, I don’t feel it gave my hair any extra volume.  So, AGAIN, I’ve now applied less than I should because, AGAIN, there are no specific instructions on the tube.  I’m afraid to go quarter-size because I refuse to wash my hair more than I have to.  Gah!  This stuff stresses me out.

In other words, go buy my sample on eBay.  Thanks.

Okay, nail polish.  It won’t escape me, even though I leave the door open.  Go!  Shoo!  Be free!  Nope.  At least this time around, the Nails Inc version they sent was in a super teeny bottle.  And I did use it, and it was quite a pretty color (Brook Street, if you must know) that was reminiscent of a super warm spring day.  But I just don’t prefer nail polish.  I have too much as it is.  Plus, I just got the spoiler for April’s box, and guess what it is?  Nail polish.  I’m swimming in a sea of nail polish.  Scratch that:  I’m drowning.  I swim in mascara seas, or eyeshadow seas.  Practically swan dive into facial mask seas.  But nail polish seas?  Drowning, always and forever drowing.

Got this tube of lip exfoliator from the German company être belle.  It’s housed in a chapstick tube, which I find very convenient.  I’ve only used it once, and the exfoliating bits were very gentle.  I think I’ll probably like it after using it more often.  My lips peel all the time.  I have been using the Popcorn Lip Scrub from Lush, which does a decent job, but still my lips peel.  Prior to that, I was using the Tarte version, which was also nice, but my lips continued to peel.  So if this one makes my lips not peel, that’d be great.  I’ll keep you posted.

Last product in the box – and my absolute favorite – is this Sisley Paris Black Rose Cream mask.  I cannot wait to use this precious little thing.  Full-size is $158.  Hope I don’t love it!  (Haha.)  Very pricey for skin care, I think we’d all agree.  But because I subscribe to beauty boxes, I can own smaller versions of these expensive things and that makes me very happy indeed.  Because I do own it.  I own a tube of Sisley Paris Black Rose Cream mask.  Who can tell me I don’t?  It is mine, it exists in my hot little hands.  I’m fancy, and that’s that.

So there ya have it.  Wasn’t the best box with a 2 out of 5 ratio, but by the sheer fabulousness of the mask, it does bump it up a few cool points.  Looking forward to next month.  Hopefully (aside from the nail polish), I will love the whole thing.

Mar31

Petit Vour | March 2014

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One of my favorite box companies is Petit Vour.  Why, you ask?  I love the majority of what they send.  There is always something unique that other boxes don’t carry.  Plus, for those that enjoy this type of thing, they are vegan.  So you get good stuff that you can feel good about.  Points all around for Petit Vour!

My March box, people:

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I said Petit Vour is one of my favorite boxes, not that they are immune to the one-time-use packet epidemic.  However, because one of them is a LAFACE body lotion, and body lotions are mostly boring, I’m okay with it.  I did use it, and it was fine.  I suppose if you have a full-size and can use this lotion on a daily basis, it is apt to firm and tighten your skin.  I don’t have patience for that business because I like firming and toning incidents to happen immediately.  But, if you enjoy waiting around for miracle, then maybe give this one a try.

Got another pack of NCLA nail wraps.  I kind of like these things.  They are super easy to put on, and the best part – I can do all my OCD/ADD activities immediately after applying without fear of messing up my nail polish.  Very handy for my lifestyle.  Most of the time I’m on the couch laying about.  Until I give myself a manicure.  Then like magic, I’m var var busy and need to touch all the things including my itching eye,  Dorito crumbs on the rug, and the underwear up my butt (suddenly; very strange).  In other words, nail wraps solve a heap of problems, and who doesn’t love that?  (Crazy people.)

The envelope in the picture is from California Naturel and it includes three one-time-use packets of their skin care line.  I sampled it.  I have no opinion.  I used it one time, that’s why.  We’ve been through this.

Moving on.

Received yet another kind of hair oil, this time in the form of I.C.O.N. India Oil.  I’m digging the small bottle this time because as I mentioned in my Birchbox review the other day, I have a lot of hair oils right now.  If I get sent a full-size or a super deluxe-size sample, it may take about 15 years to get through it.  And I don’t have time for that.  I barely have time to pick Dorito crumbs off my rug.  (Unless I just paint my nails – then there’s time!  Per usual.)  But this one smells very spicy, Indian-style.  Sort of calming.

Last product in the box is a mood serum from Lotus Wei.  I got the Quiet Mind version, which is supposed to be relaxing, calming (there’s that word again), peaceful, focusing – you know, all the things you strive to be but can’t because you are alive and human.  I apply one drop of this oil on my face right before bed and it smells very nice.  Kind of citrusy but a little more exotic than that.  Anyway, this is a rather unique product and one I probably would never have bought myself, so I’m thankful to Petit Vour for curating it for me.  If it balances my state of mind, I’m all for it.  Because it’s very tiring being me sometimes.  Checking door locks 15 times before bed ain’t no party, lemme just say.

The end.  If you haven’t subscribed to Petit Vour, then consider this your friendly nudge.  It’s one of the cheaper ones, if that helps nudge you even further.  I think you’ll like it, which is your final nudge.  So go now.  Subscribe.  I am the boss of you.

Mar30

Ipsy | March 2014

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Let’s get right down to it. Here’s what’s inside my Ipsy box. Do you notice anything weird?

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Yes, that’s right. Four products instead of five. I’m not sure if Ipsy thought I wouldn’t notice, but I notice everything. It’s the joys of OCD, people. Do not mess with me.

Aside from that, it’s a decent box. All makeup, which is nice. However, my unfavorite:

I have nothing against NYX. In fact, I love them the most as far as drugstore brands go. But this eyeshadow trio they sent me made me about take a nap right in front of it. It’s brown. Nothing but brown. The most boring trio of all trios in all the land. I mean, they had to have known I already own more brown eyeshadow as if I invented the dang thing. In an effort of fairness, I used it once, confirmed it’s boringness, then gave it to my daughter because she loves anything that’s free.

Now for stuff I do like. This Pixi Flawless Beauty Primer. Not that this one is anything special, I just enjoy primers. The texture of it is nice. It does have a little sparkle to it in direct sunlight so that might bother some people. But I work in a windowless office with zero purposeful or accidental sunlight contact so I’m okay with it.

This Chella liquid eyeliner pen is in a beautiful indigo blue and I absolutely love it. Problem with it is it dries out during the act of applying so it takes forever to put on. One pass across the eyelid and it’s patchy and sticky. So you wipe the nib on a tissue to sort of reactivate it, try again, and barely anything. So you are stuck in a swipe/wipe cycle that seems never ending, but you can’t stop cuz you’ve already started and you can’t walk around with half a blue eyelid all day. It’s a big o pain in the ass. But hang in there cuz it’s really quite pretty in the end.

Last item in the box is a mini Bare Minerals Marvelous Moxie lipstick in the color Get Ready. This is my favorite item. The color is a beautiful warm pink. The smell is delicious. I would buy a full size of this lipstick in an instant. And I don’t even love buying lipstick. So see? Amazing.

We’re done. Short and sweet. Hopefully next month there will be 5 items in the box to review. I’m not needy or demanding or anything. I’m just saying there by god better be 5 items in the box. That is all. Good day, sir.

Mar28

Birchbox | March 2014

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Time is running out people.  Four days left of the month, four boxes to review, and two boxes that haven’t even came yet.  I’m not stressed or anything.  No, not at all.

Breathing… Breathing …

Birchbox this month was great.  I loved pretty much everything in the box.  Take a looksie:

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I believe everyone who subscribes got the Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream.  This is a new product that you can get pretty much anywhere, probably even Walmart, because it’s Jergens.  And who hasn’t owned a Jergens product at least once in their life?  Nomads, cavewomen, probably, but other than that, just about the entire world has a little tube of Jergens in the bottom of their junk drawer.

Now, having said that, I did not use this product.  Mom was at my house the other day and told me I have too many samples and to give her some.  I gave her a little bit of stink eye, then grabbed what I wanted the least and gave it to her.  So she is now using the Jergens skin cream, and she told me she likes it.  Apparently it is supposed to hydrate, illuminate, even, firm and correct all within 5 days.  Sounds pretty intriguing, but I think it is fair to mention I wanted this the least because it is body lotion (i.e., boring), and I already have two big o lotions to get through before I would even crack the lid on this one.

Next.

Another sunscreen.  I have a feeling this is going to be a theme due to spring/summer approaching.  Got the Coola mineral spf 30 matte tint.  I freaking love this stuff!  I can’t vouch for it’s sunscreen properties but the texture of this is phenomenal.  It’s a dry formula, not lotiony, so as you smooth it in it practically disappears into your face.  It feels amazing.  I know I’ve already claimed Cotz as my holy grail, but Coola is right there along side it now.  Only drawback is the price.  It’s $36.  That’s not a typo.

Received a little bitty baby tube of Air Repair Rescue Balm.  This stuff reminds me of my Elizabeth Arden 8-Hour Cream that I keep on my nightstand.  Both are clear gels, both do not smell very good, but they both feel very protecting on the lips.  At night, I sleep with a fan blowing directly into my face.  I have to have it.  If the fan ever stops in the middle of the night, I wake up immediately.  That’s not an exaggeration.  IMMEDIATELY.  With all capital letters.  Anyway, with this on, I do not feel the fan wind hitting my lips.  However, I do not wake up with the balm still on my lips, so it doesn’t last all night long. I mean, it’s not a miracle product or anything.  At some point the fan wind does hit my lips.  But that’s not the point of what I’m saying anyway.  My point is I have to have the fan on me at all times while sleeping no matter what, and no one, not even my husband’s moans and groans about it being too cold or making the inside of his nose dry, will stop me from the fan.  Never. NEVER. Ever never.

Oh, and my other point is that I like the Air Repair Rescue Balm.

I did receive a one-time-use packet, but I think I’m okay with it.  The Agave Healing Oil Treatment will help combat my frizzy hair and leave it smooth and luxurious.  Fine! I’ll take it!  But I already have two very large hair oil products that I will probably own for the next 15 years, so getting this little tiny sample of the Agave probably works best.  I usually have good luck with this kind of stuff, though.  I feel like hair oil does a pretty nice job protecting my ends from heat as well as smoothing it down and making me less poufy.  I own a sample from Mastey that Glossybox gave me in November (still using it) and a full-size of the Sexy Hair version.  I think I’m good for the rest of my life.

Last item from the box is my absolute favorite, a moisturizer from Caudalie.  This one is called a moisturizing sorbet, and the name alone makes me want to own all the sample tubes in all the land.  (Because I can’t afford all the full-size tubes; they’re $39 each).  I lub this stuff.  It feels so good going on my face, absorbs pretty quickly and leaves my skin feeling nice and soft.  I am about thisclose to ordering some samples on eBay because sadly enough, my sample tube is about gone.  This morning I was banging it on the counter trying to get more out of it because I didn’t want to throw the tube away.  Isn’t that so unlike me, the girl who enjoys cleaning out the clutter and crossing things off the to-do list?  So if you ever see me doing this, you’ll know immediately what to do.  Order the product right dadgum now.

Heading to eBay.  Bye!

Mar25

OneRadiant | March 2014

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This is my last OneRadiant box.  The very last one.  I tried to get them to let me continue subscribing but they said, No! No skin care for you!

Well, it wasn’t exactly like that.  I guess technically it was more along the lines of the subscription just being a 3-month program, and the only way to guarantee you wouldn’t get the same products in the next 3-month subscription is if your skin care needs have changed.  And mine hasn’t.  Sadly, I’m still a mildly dry, somewhat combination in the t-zone, periodically dry chin and forehead, with normal cheeks and temples.  Anyone else got this?  We skin twins?  No?

It’s just me then.  Figures.

There’s probably not even a name for that skin type.  I’ve probably even invented it all by myself.  I could be a miracle of nature and not even know it.  Let’s just assume that’s the case from here on out, mmmm k?

Anyway, here is my final box:

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First of all, I was cheated.  The little pouch of EltaMD sunscreen is a duplicate.  And not just from receiving it in another subscription box (which I have; it was Beauty Army), but OneRadiant sent this to me in my very first box a mere two months ago.  Honestly, do they not have a database that tracks that for them?  Or did they run out of samples to treat my bizarre – I mean, miracle of nature – skin type?  Whichever the case may be, I gave them to a friend.  I didn’t dislike the sunscreen.  It was fine.  I just didn’t feel like sampling it YET AGAIN.  Have you seen how much shit I have in my bathroom?  I don’t have time for no repeats.

So if you can’t tell, this box is chock full of one-time-use packets.  Hooray.  Here’s my face:  -__-

Another packet being the Sunday Riley Good Genes Treatment.  I’ve always wanted to try a product by Sunday Riley.  Primarily because I love the name of their company.  Okay, that’s the only reason.  I have no idea about anything else.  And sadly, after putting on this product one time and one time only, I still have no idea.  It felt like any other serum I’ve ever tried, and I looked exactly the same as I always do afterwards.  I suppose if I really want to find out if it does all it claims (brightens, improves textures, replaces your old face for a young one), I can pay $105 for the full-size.

And suddenly, I’m not interested anymore.  Tricky little marketing tactic though.

That little envelope that says Chella on it contains three sample packets of their advanced treatment line.  There’s a serum, a lifting lotion (for jowls; urgh, horrible word), and a line filler.  I used all three on Saturday, and guess what?!  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Why, again?  You know why.  I’m not even going to say it because I’ve already mentioned it like 15 times in this post.  And also, I’m trying to keep the carpal tunnel at bay.

But if I need to be CEO of all the companies, so be it.

Moving right along.

Finally, a deluxe sized sample of something.  Now was that so hard?  Received a tube of the Nia24 Physical Cleansing Scrub.  I’m alright with this.  I exfoliate twice a week so I always need scrubs like this.  I haven’t used it yet because I’m still working on a tube of VBeaute that I got last month.  But it’s coming up next, and I’ll be sure to let you know.  It’s got niacin-infused jojoba beads in it, so I’m sure it’s just lovely.  (Oh, I love jojoba – did I mention that?)

Last product is four little tubes of a serum from Rejuve MD.  I was supposed to get the eye treatment according to the product card in the OneRadiant box, but my tubes clearly say FACE on them.  So here’s to hoping that’s correct or else I’m putting eye gel all over me.  Anyway, the serum is a gel consistency so it goes on cool and wet, but it dries slightly sticky before it completely sinks in. I don’t necessarily think it makes my skin soft or anything, but it does feel better once fully absorbed.  I’m super big on texture, so I wouldn’t purchase this on that fact alone.  It’s also $165 for the full-size, so I would also not purchase this because I am poor.  However, I’m going to relish these four little tubes as if there’s liquid gold inside.  Which there practically is if you think about it.

That’s it, people.  No more OneRadiant.  It was fun getting customized skin care just for me, but I’m okay with letting this one go.  It’s an inexpensive box, though, so if you love skin care, I’d recommend shelling out $36 for the 3-month subscription.  Even if you don’t like anything in the box, you’ll probably still use most of it.  There’s a bit of skewed logic for you, but I’m wayyy big into justifying everything beauty related.  It’s a natural inborn reflex.  Can’t help it.  It’s in me.

Til next time.