Glossybox | March 2014


Happy April everybody!  My favorite month of the year because the grass gets green, flowers bloom and temperatures get warmer.  To celebrate, I’m going to review a box I received during the month of March.  (I tried to squeeze ’em all in, I swear I did.)

Glossybox was actually early this time, as opposed to last month’s which was shipped out at the very very end of February.  I don’t actually care that much, but I know a lot of other customers were complaining.  All I know is that I receive this box about every 30 days, so technically, it’s not late to me.

But I digress.  Back to the point of this post.  The box:


First things first, the box smelled.  I mean, literally smelled.  Like old man cologne.  The kind that appears in bars or swingers clubs.  Shoooo weeee!  Alas, it was just this bar of soap by Alex and Ani.  Blech.  Delete.  It immediately went into my husband’s shower.  He can smell like an old man swinger all he wants, but for me, no thank you.

As a bonus, Alex and Ani also included one of their gold bracelet thingies.  Again, not my style, but my daughter loved it.

Received yet another tube of Alterna Bamboo Plumping Strand Expand cream.  I’m selling this on eBay as we speak, so rush out and get it please.  I’ll hold my review on this until someone buys this dadgum thing and gets it out of my house.

Fine.  I did not like this stuff that much.  It leaves a horrid tacky residue in your hair that feels dirty and gross.  Granted, I probably used too much, but whatever.  In my defense, they do not give a specific dosage on the tube, just squeeze it out and apply it all over.  This is why I need clear, concise direction, people.  Leave me to my own devices and look what happens.  I had to wash my hair three times that week.  The earth done tipped sideways over that, my friends.  I have used it a couple more times since; I purposefully applied nothing bigger than dime-size, and it fared much better.  However, I don’t feel it gave my hair any extra volume.  So, AGAIN, I’ve now applied less than I should because, AGAIN, there are no specific instructions on the tube.  I’m afraid to go quarter-size because I refuse to wash my hair more than I have to.  Gah!  This stuff stresses me out.

In other words, go buy my sample on eBay.  Thanks.

Okay, nail polish.  It won’t escape me, even though I leave the door open.  Go!  Shoo!  Be free!  Nope.  At least this time around, the Nails Inc version they sent was in a super teeny bottle.  And I did use it, and it was quite a pretty color (Brook Street, if you must know) that was reminiscent of a super warm spring day.  But I just don’t prefer nail polish.  I have too much as it is.  Plus, I just got the spoiler for April’s box, and guess what it is?  Nail polish.  I’m swimming in a sea of nail polish.  Scratch that:  I’m drowning.  I swim in mascara seas, or eyeshadow seas.  Practically swan dive into facial mask seas.  But nail polish seas?  Drowning, always and forever drowing.

Got this tube of lip exfoliator from the German company être belle.  It’s housed in a chapstick tube, which I find very convenient.  I’ve only used it once, and the exfoliating bits were very gentle.  I think I’ll probably like it after using it more often.  My lips peel all the time.  I have been using the Popcorn Lip Scrub from Lush, which does a decent job, but still my lips peel.  Prior to that, I was using the Tarte version, which was also nice, but my lips continued to peel.  So if this one makes my lips not peel, that’d be great.  I’ll keep you posted.

Last product in the box – and my absolute favorite – is this Sisley Paris Black Rose Cream mask.  I cannot wait to use this precious little thing.  Full-size is $158.  Hope I don’t love it!  (Haha.)  Very pricey for skin care, I think we’d all agree.  But because I subscribe to beauty boxes, I can own smaller versions of these expensive things and that makes me very happy indeed.  Because I do own it.  I own a tube of Sisley Paris Black Rose Cream mask.  Who can tell me I don’t?  It is mine, it exists in my hot little hands.  I’m fancy, and that’s that.

So there ya have it.  Wasn’t the best box with a 2 out of 5 ratio, but by the sheer fabulousness of the mask, it does bump it up a few cool points.  Looking forward to next month.  Hopefully (aside from the nail polish), I will love the whole thing.

2 responses »

  1. Congrats on being fancy! Actually, I’d say you’re EXTRA fancy, because apparently you know what old man swingers smell like. Good job! Also… creepy! But so fancy!


    • Oh, well, thank you for recognizing my fancy. Finally, someone gets me. And yes, I do know what old man swingers smell like. I did lead quite the lifestyle back in the 70s.


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