Glossybox | June 2015

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My house is haunted.  Normally when people say things like that, I find it hard to believe because if I didn’t see it myself with my own two eyes, then certainly it never happened.  So maybe I am being punished for not trusting people or calling them liars behind their backs, cuz this past weekend while I was home alone, I had my own ghost experience.

I was polishing my nails on Saturday afternoon, minding my own business as I am wont to do (otherwise known as too lazy to be messing in anyone else’s business), and I hear a loud buzzing coming from the back of the house.  I go investigate because at this point there is no reason to be scared.  Discover it is my husband’s razor in the shower that somehow turned its vibrate setting on by itself.  Well that is indeed interesting.  I turn it off and go back to painting my nails.  I will admit my heart is starting to mildly beat heavily in my chest.  And no more than five minutes later, the buzzing starts again.  Okay, this is unacceptable, particularly because I am yelling at a razor to STOP IT RIGHT NOW, which is frowned upon in most societies.

I turn off the razor and sit it next to me at my new nail polish station (or “kitchen table”, if you’d rather) where I could keep an eye on it for further monkey business.  My heart is pounding and I’m getting dizzy.  The clock says hubby won’t be home for another three hours.  Three hours is plenty of time to be murdered by a ghost, I’m sure of it.  And wouldn’t you know, roughly five more minutes go by and that dadgum razor goes off again right in front of my eyeballs.  I slam my hand down on the table (and get glitter nail polish everywhere, mind you), remove the batteries from the razor, then text my husband to tell him we’re selling the house.  Completely logical next step if you ask me.

And if you’re still interested, here’s my Glossybox:

I believe this is the latest I’ve ever been reviewing one of my boxes.  I almost skipped it because I thought by now no one would care about it.  But I suppose it’s not necessarily the box that’s important, but the products inside, so I’m being a good little blogger and reviewing like someone is paying me to do it.  They’re not paying me.  But they should.

First item is the Etre Belle Aloe Vera Moisturing Gel.  At first I thought this was just some after-sun product that I would never need to use because if things can’t be done indoors like God intended, then what is the point? However, upon further review, it seems it can be used as a light moisturizer, particularly for those with oily skin, and as a primer for before makeup.  I used it as such, and it behaved just fine.  Very light, only slightly sticky (which didn’t last long anyway), and it had a nice refreshing smell.  I don’t think it’s anything I’d rush out to purchase on my own, but since I have it I’ll use it.

Next item is the coveted Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara.  This mascara has won lots of kudos from customers and companies alike because it performs miracles (apparently).  Paula’s Choice website lists it as the Best of the Best.  So feel free to take my review with a grain of salt, but I was not a fan.  The brush on this mascara is an eye gouge waiting to happen.  It’s ginormous, and when you have teeny baby lashes, a big bushy mascara wand is at the bottom of your Need list.  I couldn’t get it near the base of my lashes without poking myself in the eyeball.  But since everyone else in the world loves it, I seem to be the only one with this problem.  In other words, my point is moot.

Now that I’m getting into nail polish, I was completely happy with receiving this Orly one.  However, I got the shade Lola which is kind of a basic medium pink.  It didn’t knock my socks off, but the formula was nice.  Went on smooth.  Did three coats to make damn sure it was opaque because I know me; I’d focus on a miniscule uneven spot until my eyes bled.  I wish I could tell you if it was chip resistant, but I’ve been changing my nail polish every single day because I’m obsessed and not normal.

One product I most definitely did not like was the Doucce Cosmetics blush brush.  I mean, it’s a brush so it’ll get the job done, but it was not soft at all.  Unless mine was a dud.  I checked the reviews on the Glossybox site, and of course everyone but me loved it.  But mine was scratchy and it shed bristles on my face – that’s a fact.  So I didn’t even keep it – I couldn’t even be bothered to pass it along.  Tossed it right in File 13 and then I moved on with my life.

Last item in the box was the Rich Pure Luxury Intense Moisture shampoo.  Again, no conditioner counterpart.  What is this epidemic?  This doesn’t make sense even to really stupid people – shampoo and conditioner go together.  Like peanut butter and jelly, or like when you order a drink it comes in a cup.  However, because this shampoo claims to be intensively moisturizing and my hair is super fine, I figured I could let it slip this one time.  But ONE TIME ONLY.  Next box that sends one but not the other gets a karate chop to the throat.

So yes, I’ve been using the shampoo.  It’s fine.  Doesn’t gunk up my hair.  I wouldn’t go so far to say it gave my hair an overload of moisture – which may be a good thing depending on your preference – but I’m finishing the tube anyway.  It smells nice.  There’s also that.

You’re at the end.  Doesn’t that feel nice, to do something from start to finish?  You’ve earned gold stars and now you may get back in pajamas.  I’m in mine because I wrote a blog post, and that sometimes takes light years.  Bye, everyone!

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