Glossybox | February 2015


Well lookie there.  Time got away from me again.  I feel like at this point no one really cares what I got in my February Glossybox because it’s freaking March now and we’ve all moved on.  I’m blaming this sheer lack of organization on the fact that I was forced to go to Disneyland for work.  And Daylight Savings Time stole an hour from me.  That’s where my blogging time went.  On Sunday morning about 2 a.m. when the clocks changed.

Regardless, here’s my Glossybox anyway:


First item in the box is this ginormous bottle of Rituals Yogi Flow shower gel.  This stuff is exactly like shaving cream, but it’s body wash instead.  Of course, you could use it to shave your legs if you want to – there are no rules with shaving cream, ya know.  Otherwise, I’d have a stack of lonely conditioner samples collecting dust underneath my bathroom counter.  But as a body wash, it’s pretty nice.  Rich, thick, smells good.  Ummm, what else?  Rinses clean.  Full size costs $15, and it’ll last you a good while since you need just half a dollop to get a good lather going.  Not sure if I’d buy it on my own, but that’s only cuz I don’t have a thing for shower gels like I do for mascara or blush.  Shower gel is a necessity in life, not a luxury.  So unless you come in a wicker basket with matching lotion, spritzer, and a loofah, then chances are I’ll use you then forget about you.  (I know.  I’m a horrible girlfriend.)

Got this Unwash Cleansing Conditioner, and it peaked my interest for about 2.5 seconds.  Then I realized it’s one of those shampoos that isn’t real shampoo, just a conditioner that claims to clean your hair “just like” a shampoo but in reality ends up frustrating me because it won’t lather and my brain doesn’t understand why.  You know the kind.  I can’t do these, y’all.  My hair is too fine for a conditioner to go all over my head and in my roots.  And not only that, I have no control over how much I use.  If you don’t lather up, how will I know when I’m done?  (Answer:  I don’t.)  I keep going and going until half the tube is gone, and my hair has this horrible dirty film in it for three days because I refuse to wash it more than twice a week.  It’s an exhausting ordeal for an already exhausting ordeal.  In other words: NO. THANK YOU.

This post is spiraling all to hell.  Cuz next is the Julep nail polish in Hartleigh, and I’ve already given it away.  It’s such a cutesy little thing though, what with all it’s glitter and hearts and sparkles and such.  But if I can’t tolerate polishing my nails with a normal nail polish, why would I dive right in with a polish with chunky bits in it that threatens my OCD with every swipe?  Cuz if you’ve ever used polish with bits in it, you know those bits don’t lay down and behave themselves.  They go wherever they want to, and sometimes they want to lay ON TOP of other bits and leave naked spots with no bits, and if you suffer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you’ve got the hives right now like nobody’s business.  Breathe.

But having said all that, if you adore polishes like this, I’m sure you’ll love Hartleigh.  It really is a pretty “color” and would make a lovely topcoat for someone with more patience and less mental illness than me.

Let’s try to stay positive, shall we?  This Teadora Rainforest at Dawn exfoliating bar soap seems promising.  Yes, it falls under the “necessities” category, but I’ve already decided I’m not going to use it as a body wash.  It’s my new foot wash.  Spring is coming and then there’s summer, so I need my heels to be soft like baby skin.  Also the pinky toe that pokes out the side of my strappy shoes because it’s too itty bitty to stay put inside – it needs a little TLC too.  Not only that, but my big toe dries out easily in the summer because it’s the one sitting in the peep toe for all the world to see.  I’m thinking this soap, because it exfoliates with its clay ingredients and acai seeds, should do me some good.  In preparation for my first use, I have purchased a turquoise peacock soap dish home for it.  Hopefully I love it cuz that dish cost me $12.  Don’t worry; I’ll let you know.

Last item in the box is the most adorable little thing.  It’s a Royal Apothic Tinties lip butter in the shade Pink, and it comes in this precious tiny pot that I’d swear was pulled from the pocket of some mystical Indian princess. It’s lovely. As for the lip balm, welllll, it’s lip balm. Nothing wrong with it, but it’s pretty basic. This is one of those cases where you’re judging a book by it’s cover. You own it cuz it’s pretty, not because the lip balm has magical transforming powers. Or at least on my lips, it doesn’t. I’m still glad I own it though. Because packaging will suck me in, even if I know there’s a dog turd inside. Cuz I need that beribboned box with Eiffel Towers stamped all over it, dontcha know?

Okay, gang, that’s it. I just opened my mailbox and my March Glossybox has already arrived. So, what perfect timing. I’m going to make a better effort this month with my blogging, I promise. Next up: an Empties post. Just giving you heads-up in case you need to cancel some plans.

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