That moment when you thought you were being sexy, but your husband laughs cuz he thought you were being funny, and now you have to reasses your entire relationship because suddenly THINGS HAVE CHANGED.  I mean, I know I was wearing the robe and all, but also I had no pants on, and if that isn’t a walking (well, lounging, napping) pile of sex, I don’t know what is.

I’m awkward, clearly.  No science was involved in this assessment, which surprises NO ONE.  Unless you’re into uncomfortable silences or wallflower-type scenarios at parties (or no parties at all, actually), I may not be the friend for you.  I give high fives at inappropriate times, like when someone is making eye contact for too long and stupid words start to come out, such as telling your intimidating male boss you like tube-like packages when you meant actual tube-like packages (such as poster mailers, ya know?) instead of what it really sounded like.  High five!  Gotta go!

I have a hard time being anything but quiet and serious out in public because social situations are hard for me.  I do not walk confidently and command attention.  No, I’m the one who eats Gardetto’s in a quiet room full of people, and then try to pretend it wasn’t me.  It’s nigh on impossible; they know it’s me cuz it’s always and forever me.  If there’s going to be one weird one out of the bunch, I’ve been nominated whether I like it or not.

So my advice for all those self-conscious little girls out there who want to grow up popular:  more sports, less spelling.  Bahaha.  Just kidding.  (Kind of.)

While you feel normal in comparison, let’s talk about polish!   Blush Lacquers has no official collection this month, but there are still some new releases to discuss.  Two of them are urgent, so you’ll want to clear your schedule for the rest of the day.  Priorities and whatnot.  Blush Lacquers up top, people!  Lessss go …

First up is the new matte top coat called Matterial Girl:

I’ve been getting into matte top coats lately, and have used several that I really like.  Blush’s version is a mid-range matte that leaves this unbelievable satiny finish.  I love it because it’s not completely matte where it shuts all the lights off and makes the polish appear one-dimensional. NOT ONE BIT.  Instead, you get this gorgeous glowy appearance with just enough light bouncing off the surface to transform your polish into an even better version of itself.  That’s a bunch of rocket science if you ask me, and who argues with science?  Crazy people.

In my swatch, I’ve layered the top coat over one of Blush’s older polishes, Laugh-Borghini, because it’s full of these gold flakies and purple shimmer I thought would look lovely in a matte state.  And clearly, I was right.  Here’s proof:

See that glow?  SCIENCE in action.

The cost on this matte top coat is a mere $7.35, which is practically free so completely justified.  It’s also available right now and probably for all of eternity, so how lucky are we right now?  (Very.)  To purchase, click here.

Also, if you like Laugh-Borghini, it’s still available although at very limited quantities.  Not saying it’s an emergency or anything, but it’s probably an emergency.  To purchase, click here.  It’s part of a quad, so you have to select the color you want in the drop down menu, or you can just buy all four which I feel is the most logical choice.  Decision made!  Let’s move on.

Now it’s time to focus cuz this next part ain’t even funny.  Blush Lacquers has participated in two exclusive things this month, and they are literally going away forever by the end of this week.  Are you properly panicked?  You should be.

Let’s start with the submission for The Color Box:

The Color Box only comes around quarterly and focuses on a group-voted color each time.  This round is dedicated to the color blue and so this box is full of gorgeous exclusive blue polishes that there’s no way you won’t love.  Or if not, well then possibly you have no eyes. I dunno.

I was sent just Blush Lacquers’s contribution, Blue a Fuse, to review for you.  And it is everything I’d ever expect from Victoria.  It has a deep blue base and full of blue micro flakies, holo, holo flakies with a hint of black shreds.  Two of the dreamiest coats of your life (not a typo).  And not that you need a real reason to buy this collab box (cuz we buy polish all willy nilly most of the time), but this polish right here is a damn good one.  She’s a gorgeous little lady, 100 percent.

Serious macro business up ahead:

The Color Box is a collab among 5 different indie brands and 5 official bloggers.  To see the rest of the swatches of the other polishes included in the box, here’s some links to more blogs:

Bruised Up Dollie (this is Lo, who was paired up with Blush)

XOXO, Jen

Manna’s Manis

Imperfectly Painted

Polish Galore

In addition to Blush Lacquers, the box also contains polishes from Tonic Polish, Baroness X, Blue-Eyed Girl and Supermoon Lacquer.  It retails for $45+shipping and will only be available until March 17.  Click here to purchase the box.  Not tomorrow.  TODAY.  I mean it.

To get in on voting for a future Color Box, join their Facebook group by clicking here.

Lastly, here is Victoria’s submission for the Polish Con exclusive:

Since Polish Con will be held in New York City this round, Victoria has named this blue beauty Wonder Wheel, after the Coney Island ride of the same name.  It’s a sky blue base with pinkish-purple micro flakies, small gold flakies and holo flakies. Basically, flakies are everywhere. But we don’t argue cuz flakies make everything better. And prettier and skinnier, too, prolly.

In case you are interested in attending Polish Con, it’s happening April 29 and tickets can be purchased here.  If you’re already going, well look who’s fancy!, but also this polish will be there if you’re unable to get it now.  Although, why you’re not buying it right now this very second is the actual question.

I can’t stand how much I love this polish.  It is the ultimate spring blue, like one of those cloudless days you’ve been missing since approximately the previous spring.  It’s full of sparkle and so much happiness you’d swear Leonardo DiCaprio just handed you a Starbucks and a basket of kitties.  It’s just THAT perfect.  And you need it.  Legit no joke.

Here’s some macros in case you want to pass out for a second:

Gah, I just died a little.

Each week a new duo is revealed for Polish Con, so in addition to this one, Fleur de Lis has a polish too.  Check out the blogs from the official Polish Con swatchers for more pics and info:

XOXO, Jen

Delishious Nails

Cosmetic Sanctuary

Addicted to Polish

Each polish is $10+shipping and will be available just until March 18.  Click here to purchase, when again?  Roughly 2.5 seconds ago so what are you even doing right now with your life?  GO, is what I mean.  Because tomorrow, although technically not late, is still 24 hours behind schedule.  Duh.

Okay gang, that’s it for today.  You’ve got a lot of shopping to do, and in case you haven’t been taking notes, here’s the links once again, cuz why?  BEST BLOGGER EVER, that’s why.

Matte top coat – click here

The Color Box – click here

Polish Con Exclusive – click here

Later, loves!

There are signs when you know you’re getting older.  Like when you get excited to buy a new vacuum cleaner, or when you spend an entire weekend wearing pajamas and don’t feel regretful AT ALL.  And naps.  Glorious, beautiful, life affirming naps.  But there are also signs when you know you’re just plain old.  You’re not getting there, you ARE there.  Here are just a few:

1.  You record the news.  On purpose.  Sure, there’s times when I’ve watched the news, happen to catch it when flipping channels and something interesting is being reported.  And of course I pay attention to the weather, cuz sunshine is my mood meter, and I need to know ahead of time how great (or not great) my day will be.  But now hubby and I have gotten to the point where we crave the news, we make plans for the news.  And we watch it together, like two proper nerds.  The smooth, melodic voice of Lester Holt is like slow jazz flooding the room.  And there we sit, eating our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, unaware of the oxymorons we have become.

2.  In a race between comfort and style, comfort seems to win about 97.476683% of the time.  Sure, I like pretty things, but lately I’m not loving the high heels or the bras with the wires.  Clothes with sleeve holes that come straight up to your armpits.  I can get savagely claustrophobic about clothes that trap me, and most often at particularly inopportune times.  Like while driving down the road.  The coat was fine before, but now that I’m stuck behind a seat belt, I feel as if there is suddenly coat EVERYWHERE ALL OVER ME and someone needs to yank it off me stat.  There’s cussing involved, assuredly.

3.  You consider purchases that made exactly zero sense to you before.  Like adjustable eyeglasses straps.  Or fanny packs.  Two things that are beyond unattractive, but now seem quite practical and “not that bad.”  My glasses slip down my nose constantly while I’m doing my nails.  And the fact I do my nails at least 5 to 6 hours a night, I’m pushing my glasses up a minimum of 18 billion times.  But if I had adjustable eyeglasses straps, I could tighten them around the back of my head and solve all the world’s problems in one smooth motion.  As for the fanny pack, only one word comes to mind: hands-free.  And now everything else doesn’t matter.  If I’ve got to be up and walking around doing stuff the least you can do is let me do stuff in the laziest way possible.

But despite all this, despite the fact my body has caught up with my age, despite the fact I’m one glass of lemonade short of a rocking chair on the front porch, despite the fact I choose pajamas over anything remotely normal and day-wear appropriate, DESPITE ALL OF THAT … I am still a pretty cool person.

Case in point:  look at mah nails!

Good lord.

Victoria at Blush Lacquers has done it again.  I mean, flat out gone and DONE IT.  This is her Midnight Masquerade collection, a set of 7 gloriously stunning gem toned multi chromes, a set that has surpassed everything she’s done thus far even though everything she’s done is nothing short of spectacular.  How does she top herself like this, month after month?  Magic?  Voodoo?  Blessings from Baby Jesus?  YES.  All those things rolled into one, for sure.

This collection was inspired by satiny ballgowns, glittering masks and all night Gatsby style parties.  Before I laid eyes on them, I knew I wanted them.  Cuz Leonardo played Gatsby, and I love Leonardo and therefore what is your question?

First up is Candelabra-cadabra:

Oh girl, we’re already getting serious.  See that green?  See that bronze? See this drool?  Ugh.  I honestly don’t know how we’ll make it to the end of this blog.  I need a chair and someone to hold my mouth closed.

This one has a bright green base with strong bronze shimmer and green to teal shifting iridescent glitters that seriously seal the deal.  And at certain angles it completely shifts to green.  I love it, you’ll love it, and we’re both painting all our surfaces with it.

Now for macros.  Brace yourself.

Holy moly, that’s pretty.  You getting excited?  You should be.

Next up is Amethyst Amulet:

I just told my husband about the fanny pack and then he took off his wedding ring and handed it back to me.  So basically I’m stuck hauling a purse around for nigh on eternity.  Ugh.  He’s no fun sometimes.  I mean, I’d consider going designer if it helps.  You know, to save my marriage and all. 

On the other hand, the eyeglasses straps didn’t faze him a bit.  I don’t understand the world we live in.  

So this one is ultra moody and delicious.  She’s a gunmetal, greyed out purple (due to a strong silver shimmer) with blue to teal shifting iridescent flakies and a lovely green shift.  I can’t get over this color.  The more I look at it, the more I love it.  Green and purple is one of my favorite color combos, so this polish is speaking to me.  In French.  With a gift of Starbucks in its hand.

You may drool now:

Here’s The Golden Hour:

I put this one on before heading to Walmart for groceries, and lemme tell you how good I am at hand modeling now.  Everything I touched, I lingered on for just a second longer than normal, making sure all my shopping neighbors got a real good look.  Completely normal behavior for a Sunday afternoon amongst all the people wearing pajamas in public.  Trust me.

This one has a fiery coppery red to orange to golden yellow shifting base with those undeniably insane green to teal shifting iridescent glitters.  I do believe those glitters take this whole collection over the top.  EXPERT LEVEL doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.

There’s a slight shift to green on the edges as well:

Oh, my.  Looks like fireflies. Time for summer! If we could get a move on that, that’d be great, thanks. 

Next is The Secret Door:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.

I’m sorry, that’s all that’ll come out.  I’m losing words, people.  This collection has got me struggling to stay upright.  Every single one of them, jaw-dropping.  If you’re not buying these polishes, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.

She’s a rich garnet red with shifting bronze to copper shimmer and red to gold shifting iridescent glitter.  I had trouble capturing the shift in my full mani pics, but these macros take the cake.

Doh! See?  Also, enjoy that cat hair that I didn’t notice until just now.

Now we have Twilight Maiden:

Purple lovers, rejoice!  This one is for you.

Hubby just asked me if I was serious about the fanny pack. OMG, go away!

Of course I’m serious.

Victoria said this polish is Evening Sparkler on steroids.  I’d agree!  It’s a dark royal purple/blue base with a strong magenta pink shimmer and more blue to teal shifting iridescent glitters.  Edges are slightly green, although I thought it showed up more than slight for me.  Another purple and green combo, like Amethyst Amulet above, but a much richer tone here.  Want, want and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

Lolling tongues ahead:

Next is Kiss the Frog:

Simply put:  dreamy.  Like, if I had a mic in my hand right now, I’d drop it and walk straight out of the room.  I am done, people.  DONE.  Life = succeeded.  Pajamas forever.  You can’t just throw a beauty like this in my face and expect me not to die a little, ya know.

So this one has this amazing deep blue base with strong green shimmer and blue to purple iridescent glitters.  I was able to shift it to entirely blue in low light, but couldn’t get a shot of it.  Also, Victoria said a gold shift was possible but I never saw it on me.  Multi chromes are just that.  The colors are in there, but everyone sees something different.  Especially if you carry your LED lamp around with you all day.  As we all do from time to time.

I won’t lie.  I kinda wanna lick this:

But I won’t cuz SOCIETY.

Last one!  Here’s Lady of the Mask:

Get a good look at this little lady, cuz she is a Princess and you will treat her as such.  She’s your free prize for buying the entire collection.   And we love free things (oh yes we do).  So sadly, you can’t buy her outright, but that’s okay.  You weren’t buying anything less than all 6 of them anyway. 

Here we have a raspberry red base with a grape purple shift, teal shimmer and blue to purple iridescent glitters.  Looks exactly like wine so therefore delicious and now I need wine cuz that was the point of this one, right?

Macros to seal the deal:

The round up:

I don’t know what you’re doing tomorrow, but set 17 alarms minimum for 7pm EST cuz that’s when these beauties are up for sale.  Tomorrow is February 3 for those that don’t pay attention very well.  Click here to order and be secure in the knowledge you make excellent decisions.

Single polishes are $10.75, but that is a moot point cuz we already discussed the plan.  Entire collection, my darlings!  GET ON IT.  Price is $64.50 for all 6 polishes, plus you get the free one.  That means 7 total pieces in case math makes your brain hurt.

Off to do some nails before bed.  Hopefully I can manage not to turn a single swatch into a 4 hour polish party.  Cuz naps at my desk are frowned upon, and HR is EVERYWHERE.

Later, loves!

I just checked the fitness app on my phone and there are 230 steps on there from yesterday.  Which means I spent an entire day wearing pajamas, taking naps, watching my husband get the Christmas tree down from the attic, and painting my nails at the kitchen table.  So, var var busy, you might say.

In my defense, on November 19 I racked up 41 steps for the day, and I’m pretty sure that’s the equivalent of going to the restroom like one time then back to the couch for eons.  Even I am aware of how sad that is.  So my 230 steps for yesterday was basically a marathon waiting to happen.

I dunno guys.  I take laziness to the next level, and I know that’s not a good thing.  Last time I made an effort to exercise, it was 1997 and I peed my pants while doing jumping jacks.  AND THAT WAS THE END OF THAT.

I’m always on the verge of exercising though.  I have an elliptical in the spare room to prove it.  There’s clothes draped all over it, but that is beside the point.

Before I start feeling bad about myself, let’s move on to something more cheerful – nail polish!  I received a huge batch of Blush Lacquers goodies to share with you, and I know I say it time and time again, but you’re gonna love each and every one of these.

Let’s start with the 6-piece Holo Holo-days collection:

Holo moly!  This is the first time Victoria has offered us holographic polishes, and can I just say THANK YOU?  These are all really lovely, super saturated, and (for all of you who don’t like painting your nails for 17 hours a day like me) practical one-coaters.

First up is Reindeer Games:

Yep, you need this one.  There’s just something about a reddish orange that gets me right in the belly.  If this polish was clear across the room and I really really wanted it, I would consider walking over there myself instead of asking my husband to do it.  I love it THAT much.

Victoria calls it a red clay, and that sounds about right.  It’s red, but with a touch or orange and a bit of brown. Like a reindeer, I suppose.  Also, two coats here but I know loads of people who would’ve stopped at one.  People with things to go do (i.e., not me).

I did a split macro to show you the differences in Reindeer Games and two other colors you may have in your collection.  This was hard work getting the images to line up (or not line up), sooooooo …

I like gift cards.  Thanks.

Next up is this purple beauty called Sugar Plum Fairy:

Another good one!  That’s the theme for the day, by the way.  Every single one of these is going in the shopping cart.  Just so we’re clear.

Another split macro for you cuz who’s the best blogger in all the land?

(Me.  The answer to that question is always ME.)

Now we have Mistletoe Kisses:

Oooooh.  I just love this one!  You know how I am about dark polishes.  Anything to make me appear less pale, ya know?  Cuz the last time I had a tan was in 1994 and someone had peed in the trashcan next to the tanning bed, and well, wearing this polish seems to be much much less traumatic.

And yet ANOTHER split macro.  OMG, I’m so good at blogging.

All that teal.  Goodness, so pretty!  As a side mention, if you like that color Flaunt It above, it’s still available in Blush’s Last Chance section.  Which means GO NOW cuz the words “last chance” does not mean feet up on the coffee table having a Starbucks like you’d expect.  Sadly, no couch time for you.  Or for me, the real travesty.

Here’s In My Elf Suit:

A green!  Well, guess who’s excited?  And this one is even more special because it’s olive green, a pretty rare thing in a holographic.

I’ve mentioned before that my idea of exercise is having my husband go do stuff for me, and yes, I’m quite aware how un-skinny that makes me.  However, unlike Reindeer Games above where I said I’d consider it, this one is definitely worth walking across the room for.  Although don’t get too excited: I’ll probably grab a bag of Doritos on the way back.

Of course, we gotta have a blue.  Here is Midnight Sleigh Ride:

It’s like bright and dark at the same time; it’s magical!  I’m on the verge of a loss for words.  I’ve been writing this post for like 18 years, trying to come up with something clever to say that hasn’t already been said.  It’s nigh on impossible.  It is what it is:  beautiful, stunning, lovely, gorgeous – all of the pretty words poured into a bottle.

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.  See?  No words.  Just groan-y throat noises.

Last one in the collection is On the Naughty List:

ANOTHER green!  Okay, who just handed me a bunch of kitties, cuz I’m the happiest of all things happy.  For real, my love affair with green is getting ridiculous.

I can see no logical reason why you’re not buying this collection.  It’s basically a math equation you can’t argue with.  Or a science one, if that convinces you better.  Also, I’m the boss of you, soooo ..

Next release is the October What’s Your Fantasy polish called Bloodlines.  Check out this most amazing macro:

Gah!  I die.  She’s sultry and fiery and pretty dang sexy.  You’re gonna need this one too, by the way.  Put it in your basket.

This beauty has been in the works for like 6 weeks, but good gracious was it worth the wait.  The gold shimmer in here is intense, and the copper to gold shifting flakies are what dreams are made of.  But look at this beauty under the lamps:

I’m a big, melting puddle of goo.  I can’t even believe how pretty this is.  And totally worth walking around all day with your LED lamp.  I mean, not normal, but definitely worth it.  And the urge to stick your fingers in people’s faces is REAL with this one, you guys.  Society says no, but my heart says yes.  (Also, sorry, but only a little.)

Another split macro cuz I. CANNOT. STOP.   This one is lined up pretty good too.  Quick!, someone get me a horn so I can toot it.

Lastly, this month Victoria created two customs exclusively for the members of her Facebook fan group.  Are you a member?  Well, you should be.  Seriously, it’s practically mandatory at this point.

Inspiration photos were submitted and voted on and these two polishes were born.  And they’re thermals, another new thing not offered by Blush before.  For real, all your holiday wishes have officially come true.  Pajamas for everyone!

First up is Crystal Crush:

How amazing is this?  Victoria nailed that inspiration photo!  This is polish voodoo at its finest people.

Base on this one is like a faded denim blue when warm then dark blue-grey when cooled with added holo and magenta to blue shifting flakies.  I love how these two shades blend together.  A perfect combo.  If it was any more perfect, it might as well be a couch and pajamas, cuz I can’t think of anything else more fabulous than that.

Since this is a thermal polish, you know I took like 187 photos of it trying to get the best transition shot.  And the hours I spent with my hand in ice water, having anxiety.  Ugh.  My love for you has no limits.

More transition shots for you.  Nerd alert!  Someone got excited about fonts.

Well, you gotta admit, it’s a pretty cool photo.  Sometimes it pays off to spend your childhood collecting office supplies and matching postage stamps to envelopes to send off to your 60 pen pals you found in the back of a Tiger Beat magazine.  As in, BIG DORK, which is what I really meant to say.

Last custom is Ride Into the Sunset:

Another excellent recreation of that inspiration photo.  I dare you to find one thing Victoria missed.  I know; you can’t!  She truly is a polish wizard.

On this one, we have a pink base in its warm state which turns to purple once cool and loaded with gold flakies.  It was hard to capture a really sweet blending shot since the pink and purple were such opposites, but it was either these photos or I’d still be standing in my kitchen with my hand in the freezer.  Swatching can be hard sometimes.

So, not the worst, but it is important to point out how individually pretty these two colors are.  It stays mostly pink on me, so good thing I like that one! 

And of course, I had to do another nerdy display of fonts.  You’re welcome, friends! 

My cat just jumped on the bed and laid down by my feet, and now I can’t concentrate on anything else.  I can count on one hand how many times he’s done this cuz most of the time he’s hating me while I’m trying to kiss him in his face.  Basically what I’m saying is I gotta wrap up this blog cuz all my kitty dreams are coming true.  And I do not want to miss THAT.

The round up:

All of them, GOOD.  All of them, IN YOUR BASKET.

But first things first, the Blush Lacquers Facebook fan group – get on it, girlfriends.  Click here to join, cuz a) it’s FREE (we love free!), and b) it’s the only way to get the custom polishes.  They’re on pre-sale until December 17, so no rush or anything, but GO NOW just to be safe.  After the 17th, they will no longer be sold.  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.

Once you’ve joined the group, click here to order everything in this blog.  And then I’ll take a Starbucks, a Visa gift card, and a Leonard DiCaprio, not necessarily in that order.

Later, loves!

 

I don’t know what all you’ve got going on today, but I’ve just rearranged your schedule.  This post is about to be a long one, so let’s get our priorities straight.  Grab your snacks, a cozy blanket, maybe some diabetic circulation socks just to be safe, cuz we’re gonna be here for a while.  Work will understand.

And I muted Full House, so I can concentrate.  Who’s the best, most dedicated blogger ever?  (Me.)

One of my most favorite brands is Blush Lacquers, and I’ve got their entire line of November releases to share with you today.  I’m feeling quite blessed that I received such a ginormous PR package, and every single polish I unwrapped was a workout of constraint, lest I jump up and down too much and accidentally exercise, which I do not take kindly to.  Pajamas are meant for lounging, that’s it.  Well, and driving to Starbucks.

Let’s get started.  First up is the November Color of the Month, Rust-ic Beauty:

I could probably end this blog right now, and you’ll buy everything in the shop anyway.  Isn’t this color absolutely insanely gorgeous?  This is my favorite kind of orange, earthy and rusty.  It’s comforting to me.  I do not like fall because of it’s proximity to winter, but this orange makes it bearable.

Base here is a rust orange with a rust orange shimmer.  It’s pretty on it’s own, but get it out in direct lights, and you’re a big pool of goo.  Look:

Gah!  See?!  I’m sliding out of my seat as we speak.  It may get really hard to ty o[pe here ina dsecond …

Focus!  Sorry.

For my macro lovers:

You’re buying this, just so you know.

For the main collection this month, Victoria was inspired by the characters in the BBC series, Sherlock:

As usual, it’s a set of six polishes, but it’s a little different this time as they are all cremes.  Lovely cremes.  Rich, pigmented, delicious cremes. Want, want and need.  You’ll see.

First up is The Blind Banker:

This is one of those “ugly” colors that I am magnetically drawn to.  They don’t always suit my skintone, but I love them anyway.  Gimme all the poopy greens and weird mustardy yellows.  The more unique, the better.

So, this one is a chartreuse green.  And it’s gorgeous.  It’s the color of Tupperware from the 1970s.  Tell me you had a least one ugly green flour canister on your counter as a kid.  That thought brings me so much joy.  Eeeeee!

OMG, they still sell Tupperware.  Brb.  I need to buy a Sandwich Keeper or something.

Next, is this sexy deep berry called The Woman:

Holy moly, she’s pretty!  For real, all these polishes are so glossy, you may not even need a quick dry top coat.  Unless you’re me, that is.  Cuz I don’t have time to wait around for my polish to dry.  Nothing says I got shit to do like ten freshly painted fingertips.  Like, I can literally be comatose on the couch for hours, but as soon as I finish a manicure, I suddenly need to find a paper clip at the bottom of my purse.

Check out how rich this color is under direct lights:

Heck ya.  You’re getting this one.

Here’s Moriarty:

Now this is my kinda nude.  Darker, more brown.  Taupe-y.  Makes my pale fingers look a skosh more model-y.  I mean, I know I’ll never be asked to caress the prizes on Let’s Make a Deal or anything, but this color gives me hope.

So yes, a brown leaning taupe creme.  Reminds me slightly of cereal milk after you’ve fished out all the Cocoa Krispies.  You agree?  Or maybe you just like cornflakes, and in that case, I feel sad for you.

Look at this beauty under the lights:

Wowza.  I hope you’re still awake cuz you don’t wanna be missing this one.

Next up is Mycroft:

Like your polish a little more dramatic?  Me too; dark polish is the best.  They’re the kinds of polish that give you a boost of confidence.  Makes you feel like you could punch someone real hard instead of the noodle arms you usually have.  I’m speaking for a friend, obviously.  The concept of noodle arms is foreign to me.

*crickets*

Ugh.

A bad ass little polish is what I’m trying to say.  Looks good in all lighting situations.  So you can leave your LED lamp at home.  Hooray!

Now, Watson:

Don’t be showing me no chocolate brown polish now.  I can’t take it; my knees are already weak as it is.  (Noodle arms notwithstanding.)  I have a strong magnetic attraction to things with food connotations.  I have bought so many moisturizers with the word “whipped” on the jar, it’s not even funny.  Cuz while I know they’re not actual whipped cream, the idea that they could be makes me want to buy them more.  Might be a jar of dog turd for all I know, but if it’s whipped dog turd, somehow that makes it better.

OMG.  Shut up, brain.

Dead.

Still dead.  Did I not mention how amazing this collection is?  For real, y’all.  I may say really stupid things occassionally (read: a lot) in this blog, but I’m super serious this time.  For a batch of cremes, these are some must-haves.

Did I spell occassionally right?  I’m too tired to even check.

Okay, you know I checked.  There’s only one “s” in occasionally.  But guess what?  We’re moving on.

Last one is Sherlock:

Couldn’t end the collection without a stunning navy blue.  It’s officially my new go-to navy.  Previously, every navy nail art I would do, I’d use Urban by Revlon.  But come on.  It’s so much more cool to use Blush Lacquers.  It’s true; I checked.  Indie polish is a billion times better.

Under the lamps:

I’m literally speechless.  This blue is all the happy words poured in a bottle.  It’s stunning.  Glorious.  Want, want, and NEEEEEEED.  The Sherlock Collection is no joke. 

Let’s end on the highest high note possible shall we?  Victoria has collaborated again with other makers this month to bring you the most gorgeous BLUSH Box ever made.  Here is Autumn Leaves:

Told you.  This box is the epitome of fall.  If you’re like me and need a really good reason to be done with summer, this be it.  

Let’s start with the Blush Lacquers offering.  Here is Fall-ing For You:

What can I say that hasn’t already been said?  Victoria is amazing at what she does.  Her polishes are elegant, unique, handmade little masterpieces.  I can’t even comprehend how she achieves this each and every time.  Here’s a scenario:

ME (making a polish):  Let’s take this red and put some glitter in it.

VICTORIA (making a polish):  Let’s take this red and put some MAGIC in it.

Ugh.  It’s the magic that makes it possible. And I have zero magic.  I wouldn’t like Victoria if I didn’t love her so much. So technically (according to etiquette books), I should shut the ef up.

This polish has a beautiful coppery-red base with a good measure of holo and some gold to bronze flakies (i.e., magic) thrown in.  Under the lamps, she just GLOWS:

You already want this box. The voodoo is working.

Macro porn!

One of the indie makers collabing in this box is MDJ Creations, and Melissa’s offering is Golden Glow:

Everyone needs a good gold.  But instead of just being good, we got a GREAT one.  Perfectly fall, but will definitely be useful for the upcoming holiday season as well.  It’s truly versatile and so so beautiful.

Base here is a light cool-toned gold, then she had to go all braggy with it by adding micro rainbow flakies and holographic micro glitter.  Take THAT! all the rest of all the other golds.  Why be basic when you can be this?  Result is bright with an almost metallic finish.

Of course it is.

It’s so holographic, my picture looks blurry.  Or maybe it is blurry.  I’m no professional.

Look at these macros, though:

So pretty, it hurts.

Last of the polish contributions is this one from Lindsey with Tonic Polish called Leaf Pile Leap:

Okay, for real?  This box is insanely good.  What an epic finish to the polishes.  You see, this polish right here is why fall colors are my favorite.  It’s a crackling campfire, a mug of hot chocolate, a pile of fiery leaves.  It’s all the beautiful things about fall minus the 60-degree weather (the not-so-favorite).

It’s your Pumpkin Spice Latte.  Did I get your attention now?

This one has a black base although you’d never know it.  There are so many metallic copper shimmers in it, it looks brown.  A glorious, cozy brown.  Toss in a bunch of holo and some pink to green shifting flakies, and I. AM. DONE.

Good God.  Sometimes polish makes me speechless.  This is one of those times.

While I find my voice, enjoy these awesome macros:

Try finding something this pretty at Walgreens.  Spoiler alert: you can’t.

And then there’s this:

I don’t even know.  I had a dorky moment.  But I paid $1.49 for that flower, so I had no choice.

Last item in the box is a Heather’s Hues Cutie-cle Oil pen in the scent, Maple Leaf:

Do you like pancakes?  Do you like them covered in syrup?  Then you are correct!  This cuticle oil smells like heaven.  I don’t know if you’ve ever used cuticle oil in a pen, but it’s the best way.  The most convenient and easy way.  And when faced with choices, convenient and easy is always at the top of my list.

Now, I’m no scientist (surprise!), but this oil contains almond oil, and that might mean something to someone with an allergy.  Or maybe it won’t.  Like I said, not a scientist.  Also, not a mathmetician.  Or an athlete of any kind.  I’m quite the catch, you might say.

The round up:

First of all, everything is amazing.  I can’t think of any valid reason why you’re not buying these.  I mean, it took like 5 days to write this blog post, so I’d say you owe me.

Here’s the lowdown on the goods:

November Color of the Month – $9

Sherlock Collection – $45 full set or $9 each

November BLUSH Box – $30

All release on November 3 at 7pm EST – which means they’re available now and you need to GET ON IT.  Click here to buy!

If you made it to the end of this blog post, you need to pat yourself on the back for being so amazing.  I appreciate you, cuz if it weren’t for you being here, I’d just be talking to myself.  And I’m prettttty sure that’s how crazy starts.
Later, loves!

Ugh. I went to get my pants hemmed today and caught a full on view of my butt and omg I’m gonna go home and cry now. You can never see your own butt like how the public sees it, but the tailor was nice enough to have mirrors all over the place.  So with joyfulness overflowing, I’m putting the memory in a box and shipping it straight to hell, and writing this blog post for my nailie friends because my butt may be bigger than I thought it was, but I am a DANG PROFESSIONAL who soldiers on.

Was that a run-on sentence?  Probably.

I’ve got a quick little review for you today.  Blush Lacquers sent me their October Color of the Month, and she is a beauty!  Take a look:

Okay, that was dorky.  Obviously, I was having Fun With Fonts!  And if you imagined I said that with a rousing display of jazz hands, you would be correct.

Now your turn for jazz hands:

Did you do it?  It’d be hard not to.  This polish is called Campfire Crush, and it makes me giddy with excitement.  Look at that ridiculous shift in color.  Can you even?  No. You. Cannot.

Base is a smoky grey with an amazing copper to pink shimmer and gold micro flakies.  Victoria, Blush’s creator, said this color reminded her of glitter thrown on a pile of ashes.  I’d say she nailed, wouldn’t you?    She’s so good.

Here is a shot taken in the light box:

Towards the bottom of the bottle you can really see that grey base, but on the nail it pulls more copper and gold.  It truly is an interesting shade.  I’m not much of an outdoorsy type, but a campfire like this one would have me reconsidering.  Granted, I’d still be in pajamas drinking a Starbucks laying on a couch, but I’d be outside and that’s what matters.

Under the lamps:

Good gracious.  Is this not a perfect fall color?  It’s absolutely dreamy.

That’s it:  you’re getting this.  I’ve decided for you.

Mmmmm, flakies!  Are they not the very best nail polish invention in the entire world?  Flakie all the things, please and thank you.  I would not hate that one bit.

Coverage on this polish was as excellent as all the others. Two coats for full coverage, or three if you’re a crazy person.  Obviously, I did three.  

The round up:

The October Color of the Month debuts today – right now, in fact – in the Blush Lacquer store.  Go! Go now!  Also, while you are there, pick up the new 4-piece Penny Dreadful collection that also released today.  I don’t have swatches of those to share, but sometimes y’all just have to do your own research.  I may be a professional, but I also like to sit at home and do nothing.  Sometimes with the tv on.  But always, always, without pants.

TMI?  Not in this blog!  Later, loves!

How to tell when you are officially old:

I have successfully replaced the majority of my heels with flats.  Ugh.  I have so many beautiful pairs of heels.  When I wear them, they make me feel tall and skinny.  I could wear my most dowdy of clothes, but pair them with some pretty heels and suddenly I am the Fashion Queen of the Universe. However, recently, my feet and knees just aren’t feeling it.  I sit down a lot during the day (or during life, in general), and when it hurt just to walk to the copy room 20 feet away, I knew it was time.

Cue sad music and tears.  And a pair of black Dr. Scholl’s.  In my defense though, I told my husband that in order for me to maintain my beauty and youthfulness, I needed a pair of Tory Burch flats.  I don’t know how that worked, but it did.  So maybe this new shoe regime isn’t so bad after all.  If I can somehow get my man to buy me designer, I’ll be short and squatty (but with amazing shoes!) all day long.  Does Christian Louboutin make flats?  If so, I’m coming for you!

Let’s talk about polish!  I had the pleasure of swatching another collection from Blush Lacquers, this time it’s Ballroom Bling:

The creator of these beauties, Victoria, used to be a professional ballroom dancer, so obviously this collection needed to be done.  The sparkling dresses, the festive Latin dances, the expressive and sometimes seductive traditional ballroom dances.  This all translates to some of the loveliest polishes you’ll ever see!  Trust me on this one.

And since I’ve been watching Dancing With the Stars for the past 11 years, I’m basically an expert.  Unlike Victoria’s expertise, but pretty close I’m sure.

First one up is this elegant soft blue called Don’t Forget Your Ballgown:

Aaaaaah, well this is soothing.  Such a beautiful, calming, satiny shade.  It’s Cinderella’s dress in a bottle!   There’s a bit of violet shimmer in it which I found a bit hard to capture in photos, but I gave it my best.  Just look real hard – you’ll see it.

I did three coats for opacity, but man was it worth the wait.  Dream. Boat.  There will probably be a Disney Princess nail art project in my future with this one.

And just for funsies, a macro.  Yes, it’s blurry.  But tell me you don’t see that violet now.  Ugh.  Have your eyes ever been happier?

Now let’s go from dainty to daring.  It’s Dance Floor Lovers:

Ummmmmm, yes please.  When’s the last time your nails looked this sexy?  Holy moly.  I love berry wine shades like this.  Soothes my need for dark polishes in a major climactic way.  There’s red shimmer in it, black holo glitter and some scattered holo, and if someone could just paint all my household surfaces with it, I’d be totally fine about that.

Inspired by the Rumba, Victoria’s favorite dance.  Here’s a shot under the lamps so you can see the sparkle better:

And of course, a macro cuz I’m on a roll now!

I physically can’t stop posting pictures.  We may never get to the end of this blog.

Okay, I’m forcing myself to move on.  There are four other stunners to share.  Below is Skintone Rhinestones:

Okay, did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  This lovely little nude has bits of a copper rose hue, but could translate to another shade altogether on the nail depending on your skintone.  I’ve mentioned a billion times before that I don’t prefer nude polishes, but every one that I’ve used recently have been turning my head. Change is hard, people.  But I’m okay this time.

Under the lamps:

Do you see?!  I hope you got your credit cards ready.  This one is coming home to you.  Plus, as nude/neutral polishes tend to be, it would be an excellent contrast to some black stamping nail art.

Are you officially convinced?  Do I need to come over there and wave my nails in your face (i.e., completely acceptable behavior)?  Two more close-ups, just to be safe:

My job here is done.

But here is Mirrorball anyway:

It just gets better and better doesn’t it?  This looks like an actual, real-life mirrorball.  Such a gorgeous silvery-white.  I liked it even more than I thought I would.  Such a smooth application, too.  I’m very excited to use this one again.  I’m picturing all sorts of nail art masterpieces!

Under the lamps:

That shimmer is legit crazy.  I can’t even be clever right now because only half my brain is working.  The other half is hypnotized.

You can really see the silver flakies in the macro. Literally looks like diamonds.  Proof:

The next two polishes are major glitterbombs.  Let’s start with We Like to Move It, Move It:

Full of red, orange, pink, gold and blue holo glitters, this polish can be used as a topper or as a stand-alone full coverage shade when sponged on (which is what I did here).  It looks really blingy in person – it catches ALLLLL the light.  It’s a scene stealer, is what it is.  A Brazilian Carnival, as Victoria mentions.  Definitely.

Next is Jump, Jive and Wail!, a glitter full of sky blue, baby pink, sapphire and silver holographic hexes:

This one is a little more subdued than the previous, although it’s ridiculous sparkly.  Again, it can be used as a topper or a full-coverage polish if you sponge it on.  Toppers make me nervous because I’m too OCD to appreciate them.  Glitters just go wherever on the nail and sometimes they clump together in groups and you have to go pushing them around with the brush to spread them about.  And once you feel like you finally got it, you spend the next few lightyears analyzing your placement.  It’s exhausting.

And long story short, I chose the full-coverage glitter route, clearly.

The round up:

If you love pretty things, you’ll find lots of drool over in Victoria’s shop.  Every polish she makes is amazing.  I own them all, so expert level:  ACHIEVED.

The Ballroom Bling is available RIGHT NOW, so go go go!  There’s a coupon code too for this weekend only – as if you needed more persuasion.  Use MISSINGPC15 at checkout for 15% off your purchase of $27 (three polishes) or more.  Only valid September 16-18.  And then with the money you save, you can buy me a gift card of appreciation because now that you know about Blush Lacquers, your polish game will never be the same.

And then follow me on Instagram, because you are feeling very give-y and kind.

Later, loves!