There are signs when you know you’re getting older. Like when you get excited to buy a new vacuum cleaner, or when you spend an entire weekend wearing pajamas and don’t feel regretful AT ALL. And naps. Glorious, beautiful, life affirming naps. But there are also signs when you know you’re just plain old. You’re not getting there, you ARE there. Here are just a few:
1. You record the news. On purpose. Sure, there’s times when I’ve watched the news, happen to catch it when flipping channels and something interesting is being reported. And of course I pay attention to the weather, cuz sunshine is my mood meter, and I need to know ahead of time how great (or not great) my day will be. But now hubby and I have gotten to the point where we crave the news, we make plans for the news. And we watch it together, like two proper nerds. The smooth, melodic voice of Lester Holt is like slow jazz flooding the room. And there we sit, eating our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, unaware of the oxymorons we have become.
2. In a race between comfort and style, comfort seems to win about 97.476683% of the time. Sure, I like pretty things, but lately I’m not loving the high heels or the bras with the wires. Clothes with sleeve holes that come straight up to your armpits. I can get savagely claustrophobic about clothes that trap me, and most often at particularly inopportune times. Like while driving down the road. The coat was fine before, but now that I’m stuck behind a seat belt, I feel as if there is suddenly coat EVERYWHERE ALL OVER ME and someone needs to yank it off me stat. There’s cussing involved, assuredly.
3. You consider purchases that made exactly zero sense to you before. Like adjustable eyeglasses straps. Or fanny packs. Two things that are beyond unattractive, but now seem quite practical and “not that bad.” My glasses slip down my nose constantly while I’m doing my nails. And the fact I do my nails at least 5 to 6 hours a night, I’m pushing my glasses up a minimum of 18 billion times. But if I had adjustable eyeglasses straps, I could tighten them around the back of my head and solve all the world’s problems in one smooth motion. As for the fanny pack, only one word comes to mind: hands-free. And now everything else doesn’t matter. If I’ve got to be up and walking around doing stuff the least you can do is let me do stuff in the laziest way possible.
But despite all this, despite the fact my body has caught up with my age, despite the fact I’m one glass of lemonade short of a rocking chair on the front porch, despite the fact I choose pajamas over anything remotely normal and day-wear appropriate, DESPITE ALL OF THAT … I am still a pretty cool person.
Case in point: look at mah nails!
Victoria at Blush Lacquers has done it again. I mean, flat out gone and DONE IT. This is her Midnight Masquerade collection, a set of 7 gloriously stunning gem toned multi chromes, a set that has surpassed everything she’s done thus far even though everything she’s done is nothing short of spectacular. How does she top herself like this, month after month? Magic? Voodoo? Blessings from Baby Jesus? YES. All those things rolled into one, for sure.
This collection was inspired by satiny ballgowns, glittering masks and all night Gatsby style parties. Before I laid eyes on them, I knew I wanted them. Cuz Leonardo played Gatsby, and I love Leonardo and therefore what is your question?
First up is Candelabra-cadabra:
Oh girl, we’re already getting serious. See that green? See that bronze? See this drool? Ugh. I honestly don’t know how we’ll make it to the end of this blog. I need a chair and someone to hold my mouth closed.
This one has a bright green base with strong bronze shimmer and green to teal shifting iridescent glitters that seriously seal the deal. And at certain angles it completely shifts to green. I love it, you’ll love it, and we’re both painting all our surfaces with it.
Now for macros. Brace yourself.
Holy moly, that’s pretty. You getting excited? You should be.
Next up is Amethyst Amulet:
I just told my husband about the fanny pack and then he took off his wedding ring and handed it back to me. So basically I’m stuck hauling a purse around for nigh on eternity. Ugh. He’s no fun sometimes. I mean, I’d consider going designer if it helps. You know, to save my marriage and all.
On the other hand, the eyeglasses straps didn’t faze him a bit. I don’t understand the world we live in.
So this one is ultra moody and delicious. She’s a gunmetal, greyed out purple (due to a strong silver shimmer) with blue to teal shifting iridescent flakies and a lovely green shift. I can’t get over this color. The more I look at it, the more I love it. Green and purple is one of my favorite color combos, so this polish is speaking to me. In French. With a gift of Starbucks in its hand.
You may drool now:
Here’s The Golden Hour:
I put this one on before heading to Walmart for groceries, and lemme tell you how good I am at hand modeling now. Everything I touched, I lingered on for just a second longer than normal, making sure all my shopping neighbors got a real good look. Completely normal behavior for a Sunday afternoon amongst all the people wearing pajamas in public. Trust me.
This one has a fiery coppery red to orange to golden yellow shifting base with those undeniably insane green to teal shifting iridescent glitters. I do believe those glitters take this whole collection over the top. EXPERT LEVEL doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.
There’s a slight shift to green on the edges as well:
Oh, my. Looks like fireflies. Time for summer! If we could get a move on that, that’d be great, thanks.
Next is The Secret Door:
I’m sorry, that’s all that’ll come out. I’m losing words, people. This collection has got me struggling to stay upright. Every single one of them, jaw-dropping. If you’re not buying these polishes, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.
She’s a rich garnet red with shifting bronze to copper shimmer and red to gold shifting iridescent glitter. I had trouble capturing the shift in my full mani pics, but these macros take the cake.
Doh! See? Also, enjoy that cat hair that I didn’t notice until just now.
Now we have Twilight Maiden:
Purple lovers, rejoice! This one is for you.
Hubby just asked me if I was serious about the fanny pack. OMG, go away!
Of course I’m serious.
Victoria said this polish is Evening Sparkler on steroids. I’d agree! It’s a dark royal purple/blue base with a strong magenta pink shimmer and more blue to teal shifting iridescent glitters. Edges are slightly green, although I thought it showed up more than slight for me. Another purple and green combo, like Amethyst Amulet above, but a much richer tone here. Want, want and NEED. That’s your new motto.
Lolling tongues ahead:
Simply put: dreamy. Like, if I had a mic in my hand right now, I’d drop it and walk straight out of the room. I am done, people. DONE. Life = succeeded. Pajamas forever. You can’t just throw a beauty like this in my face and expect me not to die a little, ya know.
So this one has this amazing deep blue base with strong green shimmer and blue to purple iridescent glitters. I was able to shift it to entirely blue in low light, but couldn’t get a shot of it. Also, Victoria said a gold shift was possible but I never saw it on me. Multi chromes are just that. The colors are in there, but everyone sees something different. Especially if you carry your LED lamp around with you all day. As we all do from time to time.
I won’t lie. I kinda wanna lick this:
But I won’t cuz SOCIETY.
Last one! Here’s Lady of the Mask:
Get a good look at this little lady, cuz she is a Princess and you will treat her as such. She’s your free prize for buying the entire collection. And we love free things (oh yes we do). So sadly, you can’t buy her outright, but that’s okay. You weren’t buying anything less than all 6 of them anyway.
Here we have a raspberry red base with a grape purple shift, teal shimmer and blue to purple iridescent glitters. Looks exactly like wine so therefore delicious and now I need wine cuz that was the point of this one, right?
Macros to seal the deal:
The round up:
I don’t know what you’re doing tomorrow, but set 17 alarms minimum for 7pm EST cuz that’s when these beauties are up for sale. Tomorrow is February 3 for those that don’t pay attention very well. Click here to order and be secure in the knowledge you make excellent decisions.
Single polishes are $10.75, but that is a moot point cuz we already discussed the plan. Entire collection, my darlings! GET ON IT. Price is $64.50 for all 6 polishes, plus you get the free one. That means 7 total pieces in case math makes your brain hurt.
Off to do some nails before bed. Hopefully I can manage not to turn a single swatch into a 4 hour polish party. Cuz naps at my desk are frowned upon, and HR is EVERYWHERE.