Blush Mystery Beauty Box | July 2014

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Welcome to the start of July box reviews. As usual, I’m already behind.

Well. I’m var var busy. Starbucks and Sephora don’t happen all by themselves ya know?

Here’s what came in my Blush box this month:

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Other than that ridiculous packet sample, I think I’m alright with this box. I will use almost everything, even the scary tall thing with the nozzle.

Speaking of which, that’s a Julien Farel Zero Frizz Restore shampoo, conditioner and treatment (all-in-one) for frizzy, dry hair. Y’all know I am frizzy and poufy, so this product seems like it would be my dream come true. I was a little intimidated cuz of the applicator and not knowing really what to do with it. Had to watch a YouTube video that showed an actual person using this stuff for me to feel safe. I recommend you do the same cuz if I try to explain you still won’t know.

Fiiiiiine. Use the nozzle to apply product in sections all over dry hair. Use the palm of your hand to massage product into scalp. Get in the shower. Apply water to help create a mousse and rub it around like shampoo. Take a wide toothed comb and comb through to the ends of the hair. Leave on for a couple minutes, then rinse.

I’m doing this tonight and it better do as it’s told cuz I don’t have time to re-shampoo nothin. I’ll report back and let you know.

Then I got a tube of hand and nail cream from Great Barrier Island Bee Co. I’m not opposed to receiving products like this since they are almost always 100% useable. But I have such a huge store of hand lotions I’m starting to get anxiety. I’ll never finish all this stuff. How will this ever happen? I have partially used lotion tubes everywhere and not one of them is close to the end. I am going to carry these around with me for all eternity. Along with an enormous box of nail polishes. My room in Heaven better have a lot of storage space.

On a less morbid note, this lotion smells like honey and I like it a lot. And it’s from New Zealand so it’s extra fancy.

Next up is an eye thing from SmartFX called SmartEye. I call it a “thing” cuz I really don’t know what it is. The tube says it’s a wrinkle lift, so I suppose we’ll go with that. It’s supposed to work in 60 seconds, which I’ll be honest, my cat ears perked up immediately at that. According to statistics, 100% of the people said it works, so at this point nothing else matters.

I’ve used it for the past couple days with an excitement bordering on mania. It’s a tinted cream that blends translucent. It’s not too thick or real loose. I wouldn’t call it a concealer although it does help conceal dark circles somewhat. I put this on under my foundation, and if I’m not mistaken or under the influence of psychological brain trickery, this product might actually do what it says. My under eye seems clearer, brighter, smoother. Less 40, more 20. Okay, 30. But younger nonetheless. I’m very happy I own this. Hopefully there is a SmartFace product in the works as we speak. If not, someone needs to invent one immediately.

Received a very pretty honey nude lipgloss from Rouge Bunny Rouge. Prior to trying all the other products in the box, this was my at-first-glance favorite. First of all, it’s Russian (therefore exotic), and second of all it’s lipgloss and I wear lipgloss daily. So I knew it would be a good one. The color looks quite natural on my lips. The shine is pretty, and most importantly, it’s not gloopy. I’ve worn this on it’s own and as a topper and I love it both ways.

When I wore it on it’s own, I used the Cattiva lip liner in Nude as an accompaniment. Both items go together so beautifully. I don’t typically wear lip liner, although I better get on the bandwagon cuz I’ve been noticing some feathering going on in my old lady lips. This one is creamy and glides on smooth. Also, no sharpening required which is my preference. You know, being lazy and all that.

Last thing in the box is that blasted packet. What am I supposed to do with this? Bah. Anyway, it’s a two-step alpha beta peel from Dr. Dennis Gross. I’m sure it’s a lovely product, and maybe I’m being unfair projecting my bad one-time-use packet juju onto this. Probably I won’t want to use this stuff more than one time, or maybe I will see results after one time. Who’s to know? I just haven’t decided if I want to mess with it or not. Mom, if this thing gets regifted to you, please know it comes from love. And frustration. But most importantly, love.

That’s the end of this one, lovies. Hope your Sunday has been loads of fun, and the thought of Monday lurking like a lurking lurker doesn’t piss you off like it does me.

Buying Stuff: Episode 18

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Today is my husband’s birthday, and to celebrate, I bought myself some stuff.  Because I have to go take him to see that dang Planet of the Apes show, and I tried to convince him it’s cool to go the the theater by yourself but he wouldn’t agree, so now I am forced to watch a boy movie for 11 hours straight.  Give or take 9 hours or so.

In other words, all things below immediately and undeniably JUSTIFIED.

First up:

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I was running out of cleansing milk – you know, what they call an emergency – so I thought I’d try something new.  Picked up the Le Couvent des Minimes version.  I haven’t used it yet because per usual, I think I’m about out of a product so I rush around to get my replacment ready, when suddenly my almost empty tube replicates itself and I get another two weeks of use out of it.  I did smell it, and it’s a very delicate rose scent.  I squeezed a little onto my fingers to discover the consistency is quite loose.  Not sure how I feel about that, as I like a thicker cleansing milk, but we’ll see.  I’m almost certain I have only 1 or 2 days left of my current product, as long as the planets are aligning properly as they should.

Then I got the Lorac Pro 2 eyeshadow palette.  I already have the first one, and it’s amazing and beautiful, so naturally I had to grab the little sister.  This time around, the shades are quite colorful versus the more neutral shadows of #1.  And as expected, this palette is perfect.  Using the same concept from before, there is a row of mattes and a row of shimmers.  The shadows are pigmented, buttery, smooth, glorious.  I am so happy I bought it.  If you have just $42 and you’re wondering what to do with it, stop thinking and put this in your basket.  No, I’m serious.  Do it right now.

Fine, here’s a close up first:

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I have been using Light Brown or Nectar in my crease, which are both great.  And the shades Rose, Chrome and Jade are beautiful lid colors.  Love Cocoa, Plum and Navy in the outer V.  Honestly, you won’t regret getting this palette unless you hate perfection.  I mean people are weird, sometimes.  But if you are a normal human and do as I tell you, you’ll be sitting home on Saturday night playing with your makeup while all your cool (stupid) friends are out having “fun.”  Such fools.

Perhaps one of the funnest (most fun?) lipglosses I’ve ever owned is Bare Minerals Marvelous Moxie in the shade Hypnotist.  It looks like the future, like something Judy Jetson would wear.  That’s not even a joke.  Look:

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How pretty is that?  Who doesn’t want an iridescent lipgloss? (Crazy people.) However, I will say that this lipgloss doesn’t do a whole lot on it’s own. It’s mostly clear with shine. It fares slightly better on top of lipstick. Gave my nude lipstick a bit of extra dimension although nothing crazy. In fact, it’s more of a novelty than anything else. I don’t mind it. It’s pretty to look at, smells like mint chocolate, and feels good on the lips. I will most likely repurchase cuz I enjoy spending money on pretty things that don’t work. You probably should too.

I know. I’m ridiculous. But my lipgloss is holographic so try arguing with that. (You can’t.)

Picked up this batch too:

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I’ve never used any of the Body Shop body butters before, and Ulta had them on sale for 40% off. And naturally I can’t walk away from a good coupon, so I put the coconut one in my basket. This smells so good, like summer and the beach. Can’t wait to start using it, but as usual I’m constantly trying to finish up other products first. Hopefully I’ll get to it by the end of the month.

I’ve been feeling a little oily this summer so for the first time in my life I’m buying products to fix it. I have a few sheets of some Tatcha Japanese blotting linens left, and I really love them. Figured I’d try something different, especially cuz the Tatcha ones are kind of pricey. Decided on these little NYX matte ones. And guess what? Do not like. Of course I wouldn’t since they’re practically free compared to the other ones.

First of all, the packaging is awkward. It’s not easy to remove the papers. I have to unfold the whole packet and then put it all back together. It takes too much energy. If the choice is to remain oily or break a sweat fiddling with the dang packet thing, I suppose oily isn’t such a bad deal after all.

And second of all, I’m comparing them to the lovely texture of the Tatcha papers, and there’s just no comparison. Granted, the NYX ones are cheap, and Tatcha has made me spoiled.

Long story short, I bought some Boscia papers so I’m gonna try those instead.

I also picked up another NYX Butter Gloss. I own like 7 or 8 of these. That’s probably not a lot compared to some, but I carry them all in my purse so they take up a lot of space. However, I didn’t have a brown so what is there left to do but buy a brown? Got the color Praline and it’s so pretty on top of my nude lipstick.

Then of course at the check out counter they had these sample tubes of Peter Thomas Roth peeling gel. It says right there on the package that your dead skin will roll right off your face. I challenge anyone not to want to buy 15 tubes of this stuff. Seriously, dead skin. Rolling. Right off your face. I can’t even.

I used this the other night, and it really is quite amazing. After washing, apply this gel to your face in circular motions. Quickly, little balls of product and dead skin starts to ball up and fall into the sink. Then afterwards you literally feel as if you replaced your old face for a new one. It’s fantastic. I have a suspicion I’m about two seconds away from buying a full size.

Have you ever wanted a purple lipstick so bad that you ended up buying a purple lipstick? I did, and it was the Make Up For Ever one in #15. Now, the color is gorgeous. It’s true purple. There is a lovely pearl finish. However, the drawback is the formula. It’s so incredibly dry it practically drags across your lips. I have to do extra extra swipes just to cover all the surface area evenly. It was cumbersome and effortful. I had a lot of thinking to do.

Decided to go with it anyway cuz did I mention how bad I wanted a purple lipstick? Sometimes I do things against all practicality. However, it turned out alright in the end. Here is me wearing purple lips topped with the iridescent Hypnotist gloss mentioned earlier:

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Ooooh, purty! Totally worth it. I don’t even care about the formula anymore. I will spend the rest of my life applying this lipstick if the end result looks like this every time.

Last haul is this one:

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Another emergency – I was running out of eye makeup remover. So I thought I’d give this Mario Badescu one a try. It’s a gel, not a liquid, so it’s kind of weird. Also you have to really enjoy smearing black mascara all over your eye socket cuz that’s how you remove it with this stuff. But I will say it works really really well. And when you get it in your eye, it only stings for like 5 seconds. Success!

Then as a gift with purchase, I got this teeny sample of the Mario Badescu glycolic face wash. I had every intention of using it, but you know how I have like 7 or 8 tubes of cleansers in line already? One more might send me into an anxious fit. My daughter has it now. I have to bribe her for two-armed hugs you know.

Replacing my dried up pot of Maybelline gel eyeliner, I got the Napoleon Perdis China Doll one. I used it and it’s very creamy and easy to apply. I like it. Plus it was on sale at Ulta for $15. If I didn’t buy it at that point, I’d be accused of a mental imbalance, for sure.

Got a beautiful matte balm stain from Revlon called Sultry. One of my YouTube beauties raved about it so naturally it went on my wish list. And then about two seconds later I went ahead and bought the dang thing. This color is one of the prettiest I own, and I literally own a billion. Give or take. And this matte formula was not drying on my lips at any point, which was a nice surprise.

And finally, I bought a nail polish. No,
you did not misunderstand what I just said. I thought this Revlon color in Chameleon was so unique, I knew I had to have it. I love how the gold turned to green in different angles. I had never seen another color like it.

Well, sadly, it wasn’t quite as pretty on the nail. Mostly it was an antique gold/bronze and the green wasn’t that evident. A bit of a bummer really. I mean, I freaking bought nail polish; the least it could do was be amazing. Hmmmphf.

Well that’s it. You’re free to go about your weekend as you please. Bye!

Empties | June 2014

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It’s trash time already.  Go ahead and cancel the rest of your plans for the day.  I mean, it will take me 15 years to write this post; the least you can do is sit down and read it.  And also lovingly appreciate how I’ve artfully displayed each product atop my beige bathroom towel for you.

Well, why do something if not fancy?

Here’s some hair stuff:

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The Macadamia Flawless Cleansing Conditioner sounds like the perfect product for those people who don’t have time to wash AND condition.  It’s a shampoo and conditioner in one!  Genius!  Except that already exists in Pert-Plus form.  So really what is this product but the antithesis of a shampoo, as it does not lather?  It feels like lotion being slathered upon your head, and you have to trust that as soon as you rinse and dry, you will not be left with hair the texture of a Shamwow that’s just soaked up a 2-liter of Dr. Pepper and forgotten about.

Now this product doesn’t necessarily do that. It will get your hair clean.  However, if you don’t rinse it out really really good, you will get that dirty Shamwow feeling, and it’s not pleasant.  In fact, I had to wash my hair an extra day that week because I had greasy hair the exact second I turned off my blow dryer.  Drat.  I do not have time for that.

In other words, I’m sticking with good old fashioned shampoo and conditioner.  And my weekly Carol’s Daughter hair mask.

Speaking of old fashioned shampoo and conditioner, the Swell volumizing pair came from jolly ol’ England and therefore super cute and adorable.  But I know the majority of you will probably never buy it since I imagine the popularity of this blog hasn’t quite reached all the way around the world yet.  However, that’s beside the point.  The point is that I did not like the smell of this brand and I wouldn’t buy the full size anyway.  Regardless of aforementioned cuteness.

Last thing in the batch is the leave-in conditioning treatment by Davine’s called OI / All in One Milk.  I used this product in conjunction with their shampoo and conditioner, and it worked just fine.  It was on the lighter side of creamy, and it did not make my hair feel heavy, sticky, dirty – or any other negative-type hair words.  But I wasn’t wowed to the point of speechlessness or anything, so I most likely won’t repurchase.

In keeping with the positive tone in this blog post, I give you Makeup Removers:

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These two products I honestly did like.  I was starting to feel like a bit of a nitpicky hag there for a second.  Perhaps you felt it too?  Anyway.

First item is the Caudalie Gentle Cleansing Milk.  Let me preface by saying I cannot live without my cleansing milk.  I believe it is vital to getting my face as clean as possible.  I mean, I do full-on makeup every single day.  I can’t get by with a little swirl of a makeup wipe.  I need hardcore removal – as hardcore as something with the word ‘gentle’ in the title can be, that is.  So I was happy with this Caudalie one.  I didn’t think the smell of it was anything to write home about, but that’s just me being a brat right now.  Would I repurchase?  Yes.  After I try all the other cleansing milks in all the land. Might be awhile.

Then I got the Sephora waterproof eye makeup remover. I thought this worked pretty good. About on par with all the rest of them. That’s not a bad thing, you know, to be average. I mean I still graduated high school with a “D” in Geometry.   And no one has asked me to proof an angle since. So see? Average will get you far in this life. Just look at this blog.   And the fact I can bend my tongue backward and it will stick to itself.

What am I going on about? I dunno. All I’m saying is the Sephora remover will work for you. If you feel like spending $10 on it.

I got makeup trash:

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My very first foray into gel eyeliner was this little pot of Maybelline Eye Studio gel eyeliner.  Now, I’m not an expert or anything, but every YouTube guru who applies gel liner does so with this tremendous amount of fluidity and ease.  I expected at least half these results.  But my lines were always patchy and draggy and not pretty.  It took me nigh on 15 years to make it look presentable because, let’s face it, once you start with the gel eyeliner you can’t take it back.  Unless you want a raccoon-eyed mess on your hands. (I don’t.)

Figured out (perhaps, maybe), my little pot dried out.  So I bought a different brand and it’s creamy and delicious.  Not to say it won’t dry out either in a few weeks, but for the moment, it’s lovely.  I am tossing the Maybelline because it’s unsalvageable.  I could probably mush it around with a spatula to make it soft again, but that equals effort, and I have none to give at this point.

My little sample bottle of Urban Decay All Nighter makeup setting spray didn’t last very long, but it was enough to let me know I needed to buy another one in the oil-control version.  I really liked spritzing this on my face after my makeup.  It made me feel like I’d completed a process or something.  However, I’m not sure if my makeup stayed on any longer than normal because of it.  I mean, if you don’t make some kind of dramatic improvement, chances are any slight change goes very much unnoticed.  Stay tuned for a review on the De-Slick setting spray, though.  That one I do notice a difference.

The Be A Bombshell Lash Out mascara that I received in my Ipsy bag this past month has already gone straight into the garbage.  It smells like radioactive material and burning plastic got married and had a baby.  Just icky.  I don’t know if that was the intended smell – as me and 10 billion other Ipsy subscribers experienced the same thing – but I couldn’t bring myself to continue using it.  My eyelashes are virtually non-existent as it is; why would I want to kill them further with toxic mascara?

Next up is the Napoleon Perdis Auto Pilot foundation primer.  This item has gone directly to my full-size wishlist.  I love it.  It’s not too lotion-y, nor too silicone-y.  It feels cooling and gentle on the face, which is a nice sensation at about 6:30 in the morning.  Again, I have no idea if it made my foundation last longer because my brain doesn’t compute in a manner that benefits this blog.  However, if you’re big on texture, you might like this stuff.  I mean I do, and I’m right about 97.94766% of the time.

If you’re into heavily siliconed primers, then the Smashbox Photo Finish one is right up your alley.  I didn’t dislike this primer.  In fact, I think it might’ve helped control my t-zone oil a bit.  However, it’s a straight up silicone coat.  In fact, the ingredients are water and then silicone.  So if that’s your jam, then put this little baby in your pocket.  I may repurchase this one day in the future.

Now, for bathing:

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The Aqua Spa body creme was alright. I’m not opposed to a relaxing lotion right before bedtime. I was a little bummed this Walmart product was in my high-end Glossybox, but aside from that I would repurchase. The smell was of lavender and it soaked in pretty good. And it did feel nice laying in bed smelling like one of those sachets you put in your panty drawer.

I had a body wash emergency and the closest thing to me was the Apotheke:M body cleanser in Mandarin Guava. What can you really say about a body wash other than it smelled good and it took the dirt off? A whole lotta nothing. Moving on.

I enjoy a good body butter, especially ones that disappear into your skin without leaving behind a sticky residue. The Perlier Shea Butter body balm does that. It had a really nice texture, which as you know is one of my favorite things in life. However, I wasn’t a fan of the almond smell because it was too sweet.

An almond smell that was perfect in every way was from the L’Occitane Supple Skin Oil. Oh my, how I love this stuff. It’s an oil must that you spray on your damp body after your bath or shower. It absorbs quickly and leaves your skin feeling so soft and lovely, especially if you’ve just shaved your legs – you know, roughly twice a week. Please tell me I’m not the only one this lazy.

In my defense, I have a medical condition that causes a horrible uneven shave if I do it every day. Certainly can’t be caused by a blunt razor or anything. Cuz that wouldn’t make any sense at all.

Lawd, are we done yet?  No.  Here’s some serumy things:

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The little tiny tube of Murad T-Zone Pore Refining serum was just okay. It sounds like it would be right up my alley seeing as how I have pores the size of Utah. (An exaggeration but only slight.) But I didn’t like the stickiness of this serum, and there was only enough in the sample for about 4-5 days use – you know, adequate enough time to refine my pores about zero percent. So never mind then.

Another serum that impressed me less was TheBalm Pomegranate Restorative facial serum. This had the consistency of moisturizer, so it didn’t feel like a serum at all. Putting moisturizer on top of it was just too much. To top it all off, my pump stopped working so I was forced to manually scoop it out with a tiny spatula. That lasted all of two seconds before I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.

This last thing would have to be the most adventurous thing I’ve ever put on my face in the name of beauty. It’s the Perricone MD Blue Plasma daily exfoliant, it’s made from salmon egg enzyme and it has the most delightful fish hatchery aroma you’ve ever smelled. Most importantly, however: Did it work? Yes, I do believe so. My fave looked clearer, brighter and more even. Not drastically, but enough where I could notice. And honestly, the smell didn’t hang around longer than 10 seconds or so. I mean, you could hold your breath longer than that if necessary. Because the product is worth the trouble.

Pep up, people. We’re at the last category: A crap-ton of moisturizers:

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I have never used an oil moisturizer before, and I was really impressed with the Jane Scrivner Skin Elixir. It went on oily, and the smell was more herbal-y than floral. But give it a few minutes to sink in and you will be left with some baby soft skin – not what I expected from an oil at all. It was nice, something different, and I look forward to trying more of this kind.

Next item is a daytime moisturizer, the Dermalogica Dynamic Skin Recovery with SPF 50. I don’t have any complaints on this one. I feel like I’m being obnoxious when I repeatedly go on and on about texture, but that’s pretty much what it boils down to for me. This felt nice on my face. I trust that it protected my skin from the sun properly, but how am I to really know? That is why I judge almost everything by texture. It’s a very tangible thing.

The ReVive Volumizing Eye Serum is hands down the most expensive product I’ve ever put on my face. A full size of this cost $350, so I savored every last drop of this sample like it was liquid gold, which I suppose it was. It had a thin consistency and took a bit to sink in, but it honestly helped with the fine lines under my eye. I was quite impressed, but I suppose for $350 it better do something. Am I going to repurchase? No. Have I mentioned it costs $350?

One product that kind of intrigued me was the Karin Herzog Vita-A-Kombi 2 oxygen cream. I had to buy a brush to apply this stuff otherwise the oxygen goodness would absorb right through my fingers and never get to my face. Apparently the second it touches skin it turns to gas, which despite the scary nature of that scenario, gas is good. Anyway, I got about two days use from the tube so no matter how fancy it made itself out to be, the effects were a no show. I may consider trying a full size in the future. However, for $80 I probably won’t. I’ve yet to get that crazy.

Based on texture alone, the Orlane Hydro-Matifying Care face cream had me searching eBay to see how many sample tubes I could buy to equal a full size, and how cheaply that would work out. Turns out that involved a lot of math so I clicked out and moved on. But I enjoyed this cream tremendously. I may still consider the sample tubes, so I’ve put it on my wish list. I will say, though, I didn’t notice a lot of matifying. But for the sheer delight of application, I could overlook it.

And the last product of the whole bunch is the StriVectin stretch mark and wrinkle cream. Nothing says almost 40 like a cream designed to fix your stretch marks and wrinkles. Still sexy, I swear. Despite all evidence to the contrary.

I loved the almost peppermint-y sensation of this cream. I used it for about a week before it mysteriously disappeared. I was actually bummed about it cuz I did like this product. I moved on halfheartedly. Then about three weeks later, I found the cream inside my little carrier tote of cleaning supplies. So for one, I have no idea how it got in the tote. And two, now you know how often I dust and clean my toilet.

That’s it! You’ve made it to the end and you still have time for a midnight snack. Thanks for sticking it out with me. You + Me = Best Friends. Good night!

Buying Stuff: Episode 17

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You ever have those times where you think you are doing so good at shopping, not spending too much, then on the way out the store you see something you most desperately need and end up ruining all your good work?  Except you technically didn’t ruin anything because now you have something amazing, therefore you go home feeling like you quite literally saved the world from a stock market crash.  Well here is one of those times:

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It’s a cute little mask set from Peter Thomas Roth and I am in love.  Even if you don’t like masks, you could buy this cuz it has pretty colors, and who doesn’t love that? (Crazy people.)  I’ve been wanting to try the two gel masks for awhile, so finding this kit made me var var happy.  I didn’t know the pumpkin one existed, so that was a bonus.  Although I’m not a huge fan of pumpkin smells.  The last pumpkin thing I had was a mask from Michael Todd, and it had the consistency and appearance of baby food.  Not necessarily a bad thing if you love pumpkin; however, I do not.  But this Peter Thomas Roth thing is an exfoliator and the opposite of baby food, so I think it will be fine.

And remember how I saved the world from a stock market crash.  So everything mentioned in this post, including the pumpkin scrub, is immediately justified.

Below is a small Sephora haul:

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I love it when I run out of something cheap like body wash or makeup remover.  I have a legitimate shopping excuse at that point, and anything else that happens to find their way into my little basket is just a hazard of the emergency.  I mean, what can you do without body wash?  You can’t take a bath, that’s for sure.  So probably “emergency” is too mild a term to describe this situation, but “catastrophic misadventure” is much too long to type.

So I picked up a Philosophy body wash (that triples as a shampoo and bubble bath) in the scent Melon Daiquiri.  It smells like summer in a bottle, and I really like it.  They have tons of scents to choose from, and I spent an obnoxiously long time sniffing each and every one of them.  I almost bought all of them at one point, but finally decided on the melon.  But the Animal Cracker and Coconut scents are probably my next buy.

Wanted to try one of the Too Faced La Creme lipsticks because YouTube haunts me about 95% of my day.  Lots of my gurus talk about how they like the formula of these lipsticks, and I am easily persuaded, so there ya go.  I swatched a few of them in the store, decided on Pink Chocolate, and proceeded to walk around with it in my hand for about 45 minutes.  Right before checkout, I had an attack of conscious and realized I didn’t need to buy another lipstick.  I put it back, then stood in line at the register behind a lady taking an extraordinary amount of time signing up for the rewards program.  Or just long enough for me to ignore my rudely interrupting conscious and grab the lipstick off the shelf again and put it in my basket.

Well.  People need to be quicker in dealing with their transactions, that’s all I’m saying.  Hardly my fault.

Also got suckered into buying the Sephora #55 airbrush foundation brush because I am helpless and need a psychiatric evaluation.  Honestly, how many foundation brushes do I need?  In my defense, none of them say the word “airbrush” in the title, and I don’t know about you, but that word sucks me in almost 97.90567% of the time.  As evident by the fact I bought the dang thing.

I primarily wanted it because back in May when Sephora opened, the sales girl applied the Kat Von D foundation on me using this brush.  The finish was spectacular, which prompted me to buy the foundation.  Since that day I have not been able to duplicate the finish.  In fact, I almost hate the Kat Von D foundation because it is so thick and dry that applying it is about zero fun.

So now that I have this brush, one of the first things I did was apply the Kat Von D.  I read the directions of how to use the brush, and it says to dip it in the product, swirl it on the back of your hand, then apply to your face.  I did all that, and I still didn’t get the finish I was looking for.  Drat.  Perhaps I am not the makeup artist I pretend to be?  Perhaps my brush is broken?  Whatever the case, I have yet to achieve the look of airbrush, but I’m still working on it.

And then for no reason whatsoever, I needed to buy the Becca Beach Tint Shimmering Souffle.  For one, it’s a new product and there was a lot of excitement circling the Becca aisle because of it.  And two, the texture of this is pure fun.  It’s like the bubble wrap of makeup – you can’t stop touching it.  Whoever decided to call it a souffle gets an award, because that’s the perfect name.  It’s cushiony, airy, light.  Here’s a better close up, complete with finger indention.  Not a big one cuz I didn’t want to ruin it right off the bat:

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This is the color Guava/Moonstone.  It’s a cream blush – but the easiest application of a cream blush I’ve ever used.  It’s no fail.  If you get circus cheeks from applying this, then you need to sit down, as messing this up would be nigh on impossible.  The color payoff is very sheer and subtle, which could be a good thing if that’s what you’re looking for.  Beachy and glowy is what it is and var var beautiful.  Now, this is the only color I’ve used.  The others may be completely different.  You may get circus cheeks out of them for all I know.  But the Guava/Moonstone is golden and sunkissed – probably works best as a highlighter since the coral in it does not pop like you might expect.  I also have medium light skin, so depending on how dark or light you are, this may or may not be your dream blush.

How’s that for a review?  Maybe, maybe not, could be, could not be, yes, no … You might just need to swatch them for yourselves cuz I ain’t getting sued for misleading information.  All I’m saying is I like it.  Mostly because it’s squishy in its jar.  I dare you not to want to stick your fingers all in this stuff.  If you are somehow able to refrain yourself, you might need to take that show on the road, because that amount of willpower is downright inspirational.

Next up is this horrible picture below.

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I can’t even pretend there’s not cat hair all over this blanket.  I’m sorry.  What can I say?  They lay about as if they own the place.  And I guess that’s somewhat correct since my girl cat poops wherever she feels like and we still let her live with us.

The only thing in the picture I bought was the Bobbi Brown blush – the rest I got for free.  Perks of being VIB Rouge, y’all!  Which did not cost me a small fortune to begin with or anything (you know, in case the husband is reading this).  But back to that Bobbi Brown blush.  I got the color Sand Pink, and it’s a really nice medium shade that looks good with my skintone.  I’d say it’s pretty pigmented, but right now I’m distracted by how much cat hair is on that blanket and I can’t think of anything else.  I need to page-down real quick or something.

So all that Fresh lip care stuff was a little sample set.  It includes the lip polish, two lip balm treatments, and a sugar shine gloss.  I am really enjoying these products.  Aside from the weird brown sugar smell, that is.  I don’t prefer it.  But I believe the scrub is the best one I’ve ever used.  It keep my lips exfoliated the longest.  Which is quite a feat because I have the flakiest lip skin in all the land.  I don’t even understand why.  It couldn’t be because I sleep with a fan blowing in my face for 8 hours or anything.

The lip balms are nice as well.  The Rose one has a slight pink tint, but it’s not super evident, so don’t expect a whole lot.  I do like the way they feel on the lips; very moisturizing.  The shine gloss is just a top coat.  I probably won’t use this as much, but it’s not a bad product.  I just don’t wear a lot of clear glosses.

Then I cashed in a couple hundred rewards points and got the next two things.  First one is the Aqua Eyes eyeliner by Make Up Forever. I didn’t realize when I got it that it was a brown pencil, but I’m kind of happy it was. I have a lot of black liners, but very few brown ones. I was mostly interested in it cuz I needed a really good liner that stays put in my waterline. And even though this one is waterproof, my eyes somehow, miraculously, couldn’t give a shit. So this isn’t the one, needless to say. Still searching. Story of my life.

Last product is the Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer. I know I’m the last person aside from nomads and cavewomen to own this bronzer. Better late than never. I can’t own all the things all at the same time ya know? Anyway, I thought this bronzer would be too dark for me cuz it kind of appears that way in the pan. But it’s PERFECT. Goes on lovely, blends fantastically, and smells like chocolate. Plus it’s matte so old people like me can wear it with confidence. Yayuuuuuus. In short, it’s my favorite bronzer now.

Congratulations, you’ve reached the end of this post. Your reward? Another post tomorrow.

You’re welcome.

Beauty DNA | June 2014

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I love not being disappointed, don’t you?  In fact, it’s like one of my favorite states of being.  If I could be not disappointed for the rest of my life, I think that would cover all the bases.  Happiness, money, health = all checked.  World peace would probably just take care of itself.  And then I would be Ambassador of the World!

Well, you never know.

Below is an example of not being disappointed.  My Beauty DNA box:

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This is the Ahava Time to Smooth Age Control Even Tone Moisturizer, and it’s perfect for me.  Despite the fact it reminds you by its mere title that YOU. ARE. OLD.  The last Ahava product I had was the Dead Sea Osmoter Concentrate serum and it was fantastic, so I have high hopes for this moisturizer.

I was looking up the description online, and if this product does what it’s supposed to, I will have a completely new face in 14 days.  Cannot wait for that.  I’d love a new face.  One with an even tone, brighter complexion and no wrinkles.  Hooray!  I love ALL those things.  I would like one of each please.

Beauty DNA is probably my favorite subscription box.  I know they only send you one full-size product, but the product you get is guaranteed to be something you want because their matching system is var var high tech.  I spent about half an hour on my profile answering a zillion questions about my likes, dislikes, wants, don’t wants, and because of my perseverence, I am rewarded with everything I’ve ever wanted.  I just love it.  You should join because you will love it too.  And also I am the boss of you.

I mean, Ambassador of the World.

Glossybox | June 2014

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Last day of the month. Two reviews to go. One box isn’t even here yet. I have failed.

In better news, only a 4 day work week this week! I love holidays. And to commemorate the occasion, here is a patriotic themed Glossybox:

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The most adorable packaging that ever lived. I’m keeping the box. I don’t know what for, but I feel like I could be arrested for treason if I throw it away. I would not fare well in an orange jumpsuit. I have pink undertones.

First item is the Rusk Texture Dry Finishing Spray. It has been immediately regifted. I don’t have time in the morning to do anything to my hair that requires a texture spray.  I almost don’t have time to do anything, much less fiddle around with a hairdo that will most likely not last half an hour.   I mean, the best effort I’ve ever made towards any kind of hair style is purchasing a hair donut.  And that was done primarily because it’s fun to say hair donut.

Next item is of course a big fat poo.  It’s red and blue nail polish from StrangeBeautiful.  This has also been regifted.  The contents of this box is dwindling fast people!  Is there anything left in here for me?  (Sad face.)  Now, to clarify, I’m not saying anything is wrong with the red and blue nail polish.  I just don’t want it.  It is not my preference.  Despite the fact it’s completely in season and holiday appropriate. I swear though, it’s found a loving home with my daughter. She will draw the Stars and Stripes for America, don’t worry.

Okay now things are starting to get better. I got a body butter by Ayres. The scent is called Patagonia, which I assume means jasmine and rosemary cuz that’s what it says on the label. I’m not a fan of those fake scents, those scent names that are not a real thing, but it doesn’t stink that much. It doesn’t smell like paradise either so don’t get too excited. However, it sinks in very fast which is my number one prerequisite for a body butter. I would actually consider buying a full size of this. Maybe try a different scent, as Midnight Tango or Pampas Sunrise seems like they would smell better. But what do I know? Cuz those aren’t real things either.

Got an eyeshadow crayon from Sumita Beauty in the color Champagne. Here’s my face: -__-

I dunno. I guess it’s not that bad, but I don’t prefer cream eyeshadows. I just don’t really know what to do with them. However, I used it this weekend and it was pretty creamy, went on very smooth, and the color was nice. Then I put it away in my Train Case of Forgotten Makeup where it will live for all eternity. I’ll dig it out every now and then, but there will be no miracles.

Last item is my absolute fave of them all. It’s a glorious hand cream by Camille Beckman called Imperial Repair. I love it. For one, it squeezes itself out of the tube very elegantly. I cannot explain it any other way than that. In fact, it squeezes out so incredibly elegantly, I would do nothing but squeeze it out for the rest of my life as a side job or a hobby. There’s just a satisfying pleasure in it. Oh my gawd, what’s happened to me?

The smell is a lemongrass grapefruit which sounds heavenly and is also a real thing. However, the lemon overwhelms the grapefruit so it smells mostly about 100% like furniture polish. But it also moisturizes well and leaves the hands feeling soft and lovely. Approved! Put it on your shopping list.

Thanks for spending the last day of June with me. One more box arrives tomorrow, then I got empties, July boxes and some hauls to share. The fun never ends!

Petit Vour | June 2014

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Man it’s humid outside. But I will let you know I’m sitting on my shaded back patio as we speak drinking a Bartles & James and writing this post cuz I take care of my people.

And what that has to do with anything other than getting tipsy on a Sunday night, I have no idea.

And by tipsy, I just mean having ONE wine cooler because I am a professional drinker and I get things done.

Just kidding. But I am sitting outside trying to enjoy the cool breeze and last few moments of the weekend. And I am having a Bartles & James. And I am verrrry tipsy.

In other words, not kidding about any of it. Lawd, what am I going on about? Dunno. Moving on.

Petit Vour came in!

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This is one of my favorite subscriptions boxes. I’m usually in love or super duper in like with the majority of the items in the boxes. This month is another great one.

First product is the Brightening Youth Serum from Mun. I love my serums, as you may already know. This one, however, stumped me a little. It says ‘serum’ but it’s made from a blend of oils. Usually oils are the last step after moisturizer since water-based moisturizers can’t penetrate oil barriers. (Science!) And serums are applied prior to moisturizers. Oh my gawd, my brain hurts.

As a Virgo and a hypochondriac, I need clear, concise instruction and can’t find any anywhere. What is wrong with people? Would it kill someone to put some specifics on a website somewhere? Otherwise, I may apply my products all out of order and my face might fall off. So I’ve emailed the company for further explanation. As you knew I would.

Got another cleanser for the stash. This makes my 6th in line for use I think. Luckily, they’re pretty small samples so hopefully it won’t take long to get to it. And if you’re curious (you are), it’s the TAY Rosehip Balancing Cleanser. And it’s in the most adorable little bamboo type container. I wish I could give a further review on it now, but unfortunately I only have one face and can’t get through cleansers any faster than a normal person. It’ll be in my July empties post, so hang tight.

Got a shampoo and conditioner set by Evolvh. And this time they are equally-sized bottles so I can use them both at the same time until they’re empty. This makes me undeniably happy. There’s no sense in giving me a shampoo and no conditioner, or a shampoo with a little one-time-use conditioner packet. Because what am I supposed to do with the leftover shampoo then? I mean, why do you stress me out so unnecessarily?

I used both products on my hair this evening, and I liked them. The smell was very nice, which is a plus. The shampoo is clear which works best for my very fine hair. Colored, pearly shampoos tend to be to weighing on me. Does that happen to anyone else? My hair stylist told me it’s a thing. Apparently clear shampoos clarify hair better than the other kinds. At least on me anyway. As for the conditioner, it’s not super thick so it didn’t cling to my hair and I was kind of worried. But when I rinsed it out, I could feel he softness of my hair under the water.

On a side note, upon reading the directions online, I realized I washed my hair wrong. It says to let the shampoo sit for 1-2 minutes for shine and volume boost. Well, in my defense, when is the last time you needed to read directions on a shampoo bottle? Drat.

Last product is not even worth mentioning cuz I’m so bored by it, I may fall asleep. But because I love you all, and I am a professional, I will tell you I got a baby blue nail polish from NCLA. It’s part of their Jetsetter collections, and I could care less. But I’ll keep it cuz I don’t have a baby blue polish.

Yes, I confuse even myself sometimes. I’m sure it’s a lovely product for those who are way into nail polish. And I will use it since I do polish my own nails. And I may even love it since sometimes I do. I promise I’ll let you know.

Okay that’s it for now. See y’all tomorrow with more fun stuffs and even more awkward endings. Bye!

Lip Factory | June 2014

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I just realized there are only 3 days left in this month, but I got 4 reviews left to do. Where has the time gone? I thought I was doing so good. I guess it’s time to stop smug-smiling and get down to business.

Lip Factory came. I got these things:

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It’s a pretty good box this month. I will use almost everything in here. That’s pretty rare. So I’ll save my booboo for the end. If you’ve been reading my blog, I’m pretty sure you know which one I do not love. If you haven’t been reading my blog, what have you been doing with your life? You got about 90 posts to catch up on. Get busy.

First thing I got was a ModelCo eyeliner in black. I’ve been using this all week and really enjoying it. It’s very black and goes on easy. No tugging or skipping, which makes me var var happy. Other than that, what else can I tell you about a black eyeliner? Not much. Moving on.

Another ModelCo product in the box – this time, a lipgloss. I got a rose color, and it’s kind of pretty. The formula did not feel sticky or anything. But is it the lipgloss of life? No. Even though it has a mirror right there on the tube. They tried at least. I suppose if you are ever in a conundrum whether to purchase a lipgloss or a mirror compact, this product right here will put an end to all that. Otherwise, you could probably never own this and still basically be able to continue with life.

Then I got a lip liner from 29 Cosmetics. I’m not a huge lip liner person. It’s very hard for me to draw a straight line, even though my lips are there for guidance. So instead of creating unnecessary anxiety for myself, I just skip the thing altogether. However, for those who do enjoy a good lip liner this one works pretty decent. It also has grape seed extract in it to protect your lips from environmental pollutants. Does that matter to you? If so, you’re welcome and I’m getting back in pajamas now.

Favorite thing in the box is the green eyeshadow from Girlactik. It’s a beautiful green with a flattering pearly finish. I would own more of these if each shadow didn’t cost $19. I mean I like them and all, but not $19 worth of love. I’ll just take this green one and manage … somehow. Plus, with as many palettes I currently have stashed under my bathroom sink, I will own this little single for at least 15 years.

Another goodie is the lip serum from Befine. This serum claims to firm and plump, smooth and soften. It has peptides in it for you rocket scientists who know what that means. The consistency is like an oil, but it doesn’t feel oily. It’s slick and shiny. I’ve been putting it on in the morning at the start of my routine, but I’m thinking I’ll carry this around with me all day. It feels nice on the lips, and who doesn’t love that? (Crazy people.)

Now for the booboo. The Palladio nail sunscreen. I’m not against the idea of this product. It really is just a clear top coat that has UV protection in it. But did I want this? No. It’s still nail polish, and nail polish bores me. However, since I don’t actually own a top coat I will keep it.

Apparently the sun will fade out your nail polish color. I’m not sure how long you gotta be out in the sun in order for fading to take place, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never have this problem. I don’t go outside on purpose. I mean, yes I go outside but those are all “have-to” situations, i.e., work, runs to Sephora, Starbucks. You know, the necessities in life. But I will never voluntarily go camping, or to a public swimming pool. Probably not even a family reunion if they’re doing it outside. Serious, if you see me doing those things, you should assume I’ve been kidnapped and call police immediately.

What I’m trying to say is I don’t need nail sunscreen.

Okay, done for the day. It’s lunchtime and I need food. And then Sephora emailed me a VIB Rouge exclusive offer, so I need to do some shopping as well. Var var busy day ahead of me, as you can see.

Bye!

Buying Stuff: Episode 16

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I spent two hours at the Chuck E. Cheese with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old so everything listed below is immediately justified. Don’t even try to argue with that.

Here’s my stuffs:

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Finally got a chance to exchange the MAC Pro Longwear Foundation. A few months ago, I assumed incorrectly that I was an NW25. I wore this shade to work fully aware I had a slight line is demarcation on my jaw. Luckily I have sweet friends who lie to me and tell me it’s not that noticeable. Otherwise, I would’ve had to go home sick.

Anyway, tried the NW20 shade and it’s perfect. I really like the finish of this foundation. It looked very natural on me. I felt if I didn’t have a splotchy natural complexion, I would have looked flawless. Because this one came pretty close. Unfortunately I’m paying for my reckless youth. Not wearing sunscreen and picking at your face is bad bad bad, kids. If you ignore everything written in my blog, at least remember this one.

Well. Good deed = done. I have succeeded at life. I can get back in pajamas now.

I was in the makeup section at Dillard’s minding my own business, when the Dior counter started calling my name. And when Dior speaks, you listen. I didn’t even have an idea what I wanted; I was just “looking”. Except that’s not a real thing. Y’all know “just looking” is a made up term wives tell their husbands. Just looking is code for I’m about to buy a ton of shit; don’t judge me.

I was browsing the Fluid Stick lipgloss. The lady at the counter was swatching them for me, and I’m searching everywhere for a price tag. I know these things aren’t free, dammit; where do they keep the price tag? Hidden, that’s where. Or else you’d probably never buy this.

But lawd knows I ain’t asking. Not gonna find out ahead of time it’s $35 and then embarrass myself by not buying it. So I do, and it gets handed to me in a cute little logoed bag, which I parade around for all the eyes to see. I mean, if you’re gonna spend $35 on lipgloss, you might as well get some congratulatory stares out of it. I’m pretty sure that’s what those stares were for. Certainly not pity ones for the weirdo holding a Dior bag in your face.

And for those curious, the color I got was #869 Vie D’enfer, a brownish reddish thing. And it has a really lovely glossy shine. Worth the price tag though? Mmmmm, probably not. I don’t always make the best decisions while in the midst of a makeup seduction. I lose control of my brain.

Another lipgloss I didn’t really want or need was the Napoleon Perdis Luminous Lip Veil in the color Scarlet Fever. It is not my fault it was 50% off, and it was on my way out the door. Don’t put that stuff right in front of my eyeballs. Bad things happen.

However. It’s a beautiful red orange gold sparkly gloss that catches the light better than anything I own. I’m really happy I bought it. See, sometimes random purchases work out. I’m a smart person after all.

Last item in the pic is the Chanel le Volume de Chanel mascara. I had heard someone on YouTube say this is the mascara of life, so where’s the question? I walked up to the counter, and the salesgirl barely got her May I Help You out when I grabbed the mascara and handed it to her. I’m sure she was impressed by my determination. Now if only I could apply that to all areas, I’d be the President of the United States. At the very least.

The mascara is a very nice one. The texture is slightly thicker than a normal mascara, so it could get gloopy if you don’t take your time. But it does a great job for me in lengthening and fanning my lashes. Perhaps not the mascara of life, but a must have regardless.

And then Sephora happened. Oopsie:

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At least it’s only this one thing this time. Saw this cute little skincare set from L’Occitane and knew I had to have it. I was not seduced by the royal blue packaging in any way whatsoever. Packaging doesn’t work on me.

Okay, that’s not a thing either. If you are adorable, I want you. If you look like you came from the Dollar Tree, you may have a seat.

This is their anti-aging Imortelle set, and I have no idea what that means, but each item is called Precious, and well, that’s me in a nutshell.

So you get the Precious Cleansing Foam, Precious Eye Balm, Precious Water and Precious Cream. That’s a lot of Precious in one place! I’m excited to use it. The reviews online are mostly positive (over 4 out of 5 stars), except several were saying the moisturizer had a funny smell. Now, I’ve applied salmon egg enzyme on my face for over a month, and am currently using a day cream made out of shiitake mushrooms – certainly I can handle a cream that just smells “funny”? We will see. I’ll be ready to use this set in about 15 years or so.

Stockpiling skincare backfires sometimes. Although if I ever find myself living on a deserted island somewhere, I’m already prepared. Succeeding at life once again. Seriously, why am I still wearing business casual when pajamas are all I need?

Payday is one day where I can honestly say I make the BEST decisions:

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Your eyes are not deceiving you. This is the Burberry Complete Eye Palette in Sage Green. And it’s stunning. I love green, so naturally I have gravitated towards this one. It’s just a color that has the potential to emote feelings of spring AND fall. I have to have lots of green in my life.

As for the eyeshadows themselves, these go on very soft in terms of pigmentation. Even the darkest brown shade isn’t that dark. So it’s hard to have a super defined eye look unless you rim it with a heavy black winged liner or something. There isn’t much shimmer, so that’s good for me, but the colors just don’t POP enough. However, I will use it often, especially when fall rolls around, cuz I think the whole scheme is lovely. Cuz even when green is bad, it’s still pretty good. I love green. Did I tell you that?

Alrighty franz, I’m out of time for now. Back tomorrow with the best post that ever lived.

Birchbox | June 2014

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For any of you who assumed I never did anything else besides work and go to Sephora, lemme just say you are 97.83748% correct. But every once in awhile I do venture out and celebrate birthday parties with friends. I did party makeup. Here’s proof:

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Yes my hair is in a Turbie Twist. I couldn’t be bothered to take a selfie after I was completely ready. That would be nonsense. No, it’s much more practical to show the world this picture instead.

For those who need to know things, it’s Makeup Geek eyeshadows on eyes and Bite Beauty lipstick in Violet on lips. It took me 2 hours. I manage my time very well, as you can clearly see.

And now for the best segue that ever lived, here’s my Birchbox goodies:

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This box has it’s highs and lows. Let’s start with the highs so we can end on a low note and then your day can only get better from there. (I take care of my people.)

Got a little sampler of the Coastal Scents Revealed 2 palette. While I’m always up for receiving eyeshadows, I’m kind of ho hum pigs bum about a batch of brown eyeshadows. But I did use them and they were nice and the look I got was natural and pretty. If you go to my Ipsy review from this month, you can see me wearing it. I’d link it for you, but you are aware I went out last night aren’t you? Yes, var var tired today. Effort = not given.

I love skincare. Like in an unhealthy way probably. You could do a full on shopping excursion under my bathroom sink. But not only that but I’m starting to collect things on the rim of my bathtub as well. Added this Evologie Stay Clear cleanser to the mix. As soon as I finish the four cleansers I already have lined up, I’m all over this one. So in about three months probably. Get excited!

Received a little trio of Davine’s hair stuff. Got a bottle of the Love Smoothing Shampoo, which is perfect for my harsh, frizzy, undisciplined hair (their description, not mine). And then I got a one time use packet of the matching conditioner. Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. What am I supposed to do with the leftover shampoo in the bottle now that I don’t have the accompanying conditioner to go with it? Go to Birchbox.com and purchase more conditioner? Oh, I get it. Very sneaky, Birchbox.

I will say that I probably will go buy this. Using the two together did wonders for my hair. Either that or I psychologically brought it into being. Which I’m pretty sure happens the majority of the time anyway. Otherwise why would I be continuing to use a facial exfoliator that literally smells like a fish hatchery happened upon my face?

The conditioner is very thick, but when your hair has a mind of it’s own, you need to suffocate the hell out of it. Behave! And it did.

The other thing they gave me is the OI/All In One Milk. It’s a leave in conditioning treatment kind of thingy that has a variety of talents like controls frizz, protects from heat, detangles, adds shine, etc. I used it with enthusiasm, then quickly let it go. One time use packets are not meant for full time commitment. They are the boyfriends of my youth.

We’re headed downhill now. Last two things are big fat boos. But lemme just iterate they are boos for me but maybe not for you. Cuz I don’t prefer the genre. The products themselves are probably very lovely.

First one is a nail polish by Color Club in the color Gold Struck. What can I say about this in order to make you want to buy it? Ummmmm, I kept it so … That’s a pretty big deal right there.

Last item in the box is English Laundry perfume. If I enjoyed wearing perfume I would wear this. It does not stink. For those who need a better description than that, it smells like quince, white chocolate and jasmine. And I can kind of detect the chocolate if I close my eyes and think real hard. But I’m probably imagining that up cause it’s lunch time and I really want a Snickers bar.

And to really bring home the low note, I went to Birchbox thinking I was going to purchase the Davine’s shampoo and conditioner, then saw it would cost me over $50 so I ran far far away.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!