Category Archives: Beauty Box Swag

Feb20

Ipsy | February 2014

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Ipsy, you’ve done it again.

Serious, ya’ll … if you’re thinking about subscribing to a beauty box, and you don’t want to pay more than $10 a month, Ipsy is where it’s at.  However, you have some homework to do in order to get the most out of it.  I’m going to divulge a bit of advice, so listen up people!

When you sign up for Ipsy, you fill out a beauty profile where you tell them your hair color, skin type, complexion, etc.  You can leave it at that, and I feel like Ipsy does make an effort to oblige you.  However, the secret is by going back and reviewing the products you receive in the box.  If you get eyelashes – which is snore city, if you ask me – you go fill out their little eyelash survey and tell them it’s “not for me” and voila!  So far, no more eyelashes.  It’s called their Ipsy Match program, and at this point no other box I’ve found has this much of an in-depth customization tool.

Now they better not go screw it up since I just sang high praises and make me look like an idiot. That = no likey.

Here is what came in my February box:

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I lurve.  Lurve it all.

My utmost fave thing in the box is the tiny vial of velvet gel from Phyto-C.  This product sparked quite a bit of convo on the Ipsy site, as so many people did not know how to use it.  I will admit it’s one of the more confusing ones.  The product itself says to use a few drops on age spots or dark spots.  The Ipsy website says it can be used as a primer before makeup.  Even the company’s own website says nothing more than to use 1-2 times per day.

If you do not already know, let me give you some background info on me.  Do NOT under any circumstances give me contradicting instructions, vague instructions or no instructions.  I cannot function unless you tell me in a clear and concise manner, with time references and step-by-step bullet lists, what I am supposed to do.  In case you’re curious, it’s very hard to be friends with me.

And yes, I emailed the company.  I do that A LOT.  Turns out this product can be applied all over the face, serum-style, prior to applying moisturizer.  Well alright then.  How hard was that to explain?  Why couldn’t that be printed on the packaging?  Gah, guess I should be CEO of Phyto-C then.  I have all the best ideas.

Anyway, now that all of that is squared away, I love this serum.  It makes my skin feel so incredibly soft, softer than anything else I’ve used.  So soft, that I went on eBay and purchased two other Ipsy users’ velvet gel samples that they didn’t want.  Is that insane?  Probably.

Also in the box is a lipgloss from Pop Beauty.  I’m not too enthusiastic about Pop Beauty’s makeup.  Maybe I’m not being fair as I’ve never really tried much of it, but the displays in Ulta just look so super cheap.  If someone is in love with Pop Beauty, please comment and let me know what I’m missing out on.

However, the lipgloss is really nice.  I got the color Peony Petal and it looks so lovely on my lips.  Perfect spring shade.  It’s supposed to include lip-plumping peptides, but I poo poo at anybody’s lip-plumping claim.  Unless you’re Juvederm and come in syringe form, I’m pretty much sure you’re not plumping anything.  But for a pretty lipgloss, you do good work.

And now you know I am not a fan of nail polish.  It takes a lot to get me excited about nail polish.  BUT.  It is nearing spring (kind of) and Zoya’s earth-toned purple invoked a feeling inside of me.  That is the only reason I was okay with getting nail polish in my box.  The color sent me to my happy place.

I say I’m not a fan of nail polish, but I do paint my nails every other week or so.  In other words, it is necessary to have nail polish.  I just don’t want to be inundated.  In fact, the smaller the sample bottle the better cuz it will take me 15 years to use up what I already have.  And as an OCDer, that fact drives me super batty.  I just love the feeling of finishing something and throwing it away.  It’s like a job well done, completed that task, checkmark on the to-do list kind of feeling. I know some of you out there can relate.

And blush.  I love blush.  Again, it will take about 15 years to use up what I already have, but the difference here is that I love it.  It’s easy to be around a thousand blushes when they are all your children.  Sorry.  You don’t choose love, love chooses you.

Or something like that.  Shut up, Brain.

Got this gorgeous melon colored matte blush from City Color.  I wore it the other day, and I’m not even gonna hide the fact that I stared at myself all day.  I mean, I went out of my way to purposefully walk past mirrors.  Literally paraded my ass around the clothing department in Walmart during grocery shopping just to catch a glimpse of my pretty cheeks.  That right there might be the beginning stages of a little situation professional psychologists lovingly refer to as “crazy.”  I’m mildly concerned.

Last item in the box is my least favorite, although I don’t hate it by any means.  It’s a cream eyeshadow by Tini Beauty.  I don’t wear cream eyeshadows very often (more like hardly ever) as my old crepey eyelids don’t care for them too much.  The color they sent me is called Spiced Rum, and it’s a super metallic-y bronze.  I dabbed the teeniest tiniest bit on my lid the other day and wowza.  Pigmented, yes.  I’m going to try a look this weekend with it, see if I can’t get a little more comfortable wearing cream eyeshadow.  If it can’t be done, I’m gonna have to pass this along to my daughter who can get away with practically anything.  Being 20 will do that for you.

Well that’s it for now.  Only 5 more boxes to review.  Get excited!

Feb17

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | February 2014

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Remember last month, how Blush sent me a bottle of bowel regulatory health drops?  And how they actually counted it as a beauty supply?  And how I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and then threw the bottle in the trash?  Maybe I did that last thing off camera.  However, what I’m trying to say is that Blush fixed all that shenannery with this month’s box.

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Much better, right?

That big packet is one of those scary sheet masks from Bioxidea.  Serious, don’t be walking around your house amongst your children wearing one of these masks.  Unless you want them sleeping in your bed for the next 8 years.  Just keep it confined to the privacy of your bathtub, ok?

Anyway, there are three versions of this mask, and I got the gold one.  And full price for these babies is $74 – for just three masks.  Well!  Put it in the cart then!  It’s bound to replace my old face with a brand new one at that price.  It does say it uses “nano gold bits” (whatever that is) to do all sorts of miraculous things to your skin.  I haven’t used it yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know the results.  Hopefully something amazing happens after just one use, because I will never ever ever ever be able to afford this product.

Next thing is yet another sample of the REN Evercalm Global Protection day cream.  This time it came in pouch form (my other samples were tubes), which depressed me a whole lot.  However, I absolutely looooove this moisturizer.  It feels so good on the skin.  BUT, my love has limits and it’s called one-time-use packet, so I promptly gave it to a friend.  On the upside, I still have one sample tube of this left so it’s all good.

Always excited to receive dry shampoo in my boxes.  Although I’ve already found my holy grail (Batiste, if you’re curious), I love to try different ones anyway.  This one by Klorane is pretty good so far.  I won’t know for sure until I reach about 2/3 into it, as that’s when the white powder goodness usually disappears and all that’s leftover is wet air.  So we’ll see how it holds up.

I have never used nail wraps before, so I was a little ho hum pigs bum about getting a packet of them from NCLA.  I have a co-worker who uses them all the time, and they turn out great.  But I’m not very adept at doing my nails, even though these are like little stickers instead of wet polish, so by that fact alone I should be ace at it.  I’m going to give them a try, though, just simply because I have them, the pattern is pretty cute, and I paid for them (technically).  They are more reasonable than bowel drops, let’s just say.

Got this nifty little bottle of DHC deep cleansing oil, which upon further inspection, seems to be the company’s most popular product.  I have used this several times already to remove my makeup, and let me just tell you one thing:  this stuff is awesome at melting away your mascara.  I can actually feel it disappearing (partly indicative of the massive racoon eyes, but still).  So I like it a lot.  It’s not going to replace my normal facial cleanser – I’m not even sure it’s supposed to – but I’ll allow it to remove my mascara.  Does a pretty good job, actually a better job, than all of my other eye makeup removers I’ve used in the past.  Are you intrigued?  Well lucky for you there are 3 different sizes you can buy on their website.  The mini is only $5.50 and I’m thinking it should last maybe a month or so.

I use an exfoliating scrub twice a week, so I’m currently on the last bit of the Strivectin one I’ve been using.  Perfect timing, as I got this Vbeaute Rub Off facial exfoliator all ready to go.  Does not the words “rub off” make you want to use this product immediately?  By all means, please do.  Seriously, if it could get rid of gaping pores and forehead crevices with just one swipe, that’d be great.  The least amount of effort on my part is always ideal.  In fact, if I could just put a licensed aesthetician in my back pocket, who dispenses products at will, wouldn’t that be awesome?  Uh oh, dry patch, lemme get that for you.  Pimple alert, here’s some cream.  Ooh, shiny spot, blotting paper ACTIVATE! 

That was weird.  Sorry about that.  Moving on.

Next up is a can of water … oh, excuse me, spa water, from Vichy.  I’m kind of making fun of this product, but kind of not.  If you go on the website, it says there’s been 15 clinical studies that show benefits of using this water.  It has soothing and fortifying properties.  With minerals and antioxidants, so unique it can’t be duplicated by science.  So powerful, it can reset your skin’s health.  Quite clearly a miracle of nature.  And if all of that isn’t enough to convince you to use this product, it is also from France.

I’m not sure how to use this product, however.  Is it a toner of some kind?  Is it a makeup setting spray?  The website says to use it day and night to complete your cleansing routine.  What does that mean, though?  Before moisturizer?  After?  Oh my GAWD, it’s too complicated.  If you can’t tell, I need explicit instructions, otherwise I cannot live my life.  I need to know the who, what, when, where and for how long.  Do not tell me to cook pasta for 10-12 minutes or until done because that means nothing to me.  If you mean 11 minutes, just say 11 minutes.  Do I need to teach the universe how to behave properly?!  Gah.

Aside, from all that, I’ll use it.

Got another tube of mascara, ya’ll!  That makes about 20 or so in the stash.  I will never use them all, so I’m trying very hard to weed out the bad ones and concentrate on the good ones.  This NYX one – bizarrely called Are You DeprEYEved Of … – seems okay.  It’s a mascara serum, so apparently it’s supposed to promote fuller lashes.  If I would just devote my lashes to this one product, that is.  The benefits are few and far between if I use it every other month or so, like I am apt to do.  In any case, it does provide some decent length to my sad little straight, sparse lashes.  So this goes in the “good” pile.

Okay, here’s another product that has left me in the dark on how to use it.  This little sample of AFA exfoliating gel.  It says to use sparingly on a cleansed face and leave on overnight.  Mmmk.  Then what?  Wash it off the next day?  When do I use moisturizer, before or after?  Is a serum necessary?  And by the term “sparingly”, how much is that exactly?  I hate my life sometimes.

In my defense, I am terrified of using a product incorrectly.  Especially one that apparently needs a doctor to prescribe for you (according to the website; I have no idea how Blush got their hands on samples then).  What if I burn my face off because I’ve applied too much? Or cause some sort of chemical explosion because I combined it with serums and moisturizers that are simply not allowed?  I take my skin care very seriously, people.  I should probably ban myself from anything too complicated, as the anxiety that ensues afterwards sometimes just isn’t worth it.

I’m calling the 800 number.

…

…

Okay, question answered.  After applying the gel, wait 20 minutes then apply moisturizer.  And if I want to use serums with it, that is fine as long as I follow the 20 minutes rule.  I am such a rule-follower, I have no problem with this.  Now I am fully prepared to use this product.  All one-time-use of it. Hmmmphf.

Final item in the box is a perfume by Elizabeth Arden called Untold.  Didn’t stink, but we’ve discussed how much I don’t care about perfume.  Gave this to a friend, so it was repurposed nicely.  As soon as I use up the two bottles of perfume I already have – in about 15 years or so – I’ll be back on track to collect more perfume.

So that’s it.  Blush is still my favorite box, despite not liking everything in it.  I use the majority of it, and what I don’t use I make fun of mercilessly, or give away to others who will take care of it and treat it with kindness and respect.  And that’s very admirable of me, don’t you think?

(You do.  You think exactly that.)

Feb15

Sample Society | February 2014

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I’m starting to think my blog is quickly morphing into a beauty box review site. Cuz we’re back at it again with yet another box, and we ain’t even halfway done. Someone needs to give me a utility bill to pay or something, cuz otherwise I’m about 2.5 seconds away from finding another box to subscribe to.

Don’t tell my husband I just said that. Cuz he’ll no doubt find me a utility bill.

Received my Sample Society box the other day and lookie what I got:

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I’m kinda likin’ the box this month. Despite the fact I got three hair dealies, that is. I don’t prefer hair stuff, because there’s just so much stuff I won’t ever use. Like hairspray, root lifter or sea salt spray. I basically wash, dry, flatiron, the end. I spend so much time on makeup in the morning, I can’t deal with a whole hair ritual too.

I’m incredibly lazy. Did I mention that?

However, I’m alright with the Bamboo products they sent. Got two of them: volume spray and a strand thickener. Both of these products are used prior to blow drying, and apparently will give me oodles of poufy hair. Haven’t tested this theory, but I promise I’ll let you know.

The other hair product is a mask from Phyto. I can’t wait to try this. It claims to repair dry, damaged, weakened hair which is exactly what I need. My hair is so hideous when in its natural state. Hoping by using this product I will somehow be able to air dry without risking my prim and proper reputation. Cuz otherwise, I tend to lean towards mental patient escapee hair. Or maybe light socket exploring hair.

Next (non-hair) product is the mineral body lotion from Ahava. I got the pineapple peach one. Smells pretty nice, but not overwhelmingly so, which is a bit of a bummer cuz if you’re gonna smell like tropical fruit, you better bygod commit to it.

All my body lotions smells like tropical fruits, just so you know.

The consistency of this one is a little watery, but it absorbs pretty good so I guess its wateryness is a non issue. Not even sure why I brought it up then. I’d press backspace on that and delete it altogether but I’m really sleepy right now and can’t be bothered.

Moving on.

Last item is this serum from Murad. Do you see on the box where it says it reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles in two hours? Well, I instantly became interested in that little tidbit. Then upon further inspection, I discovered that it won a Good Housekeeping award. And that it cost $78 for a 1-ounce bottle.

In other words, I may not have noticed if my wrinkles went away after two hours, but it’s an award winner and expensive and therefore all claims are immediately justified.

I’m an asshole.

Im sorry. I’m easily persuaded. What else can I say for myself? I just wanna believe so bad that there is a miracle product out there that will undeniably replace my old face for a new one in a mere two hours. Can I please just have my daydreams?

One thing I can say about it that I know is 100% true is that the texture is quite lovely. My face is very soft right now. Just did a wrinkle check however, and sad to report that they are still there. Ah well. Can’t have everything.

That’s it people. You’re free to go.

Feb14

Beauty Box 5 | February 2014

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I’ve gone and done it. It’s practically a Christmas miracle because usually I just tolerate things that make me unhappy. But I’ve finally cut the ties after five months.

I canceled Beauty Box 5.

Whaaaatttttt?! I know. I know. But it had to be done. Let me show you why:

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So there’s a pack of LA Fresh antibacterial wipes in there. And while I’m not opposed to hand sanitizer type thingies, I’m not too enthused about them either. It’s like getting socks for your birthday – you’ll use them but that’s about as far as the excitement goes.

AND THEN! Shampoo and conditioner in a packet. Boooo. This is never gonna happen. It may be John Frieda, and it may be the most luxurious shampoo and conditioner that ever existed of all time. But I wouldn’t know anything about that because their sample came in packet form, and we all know how I feel about those circumstances.

Long story short, I gave this away to my friend at work. A good home, don’t worry.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you might already know I’m not much of a nail polish person. In fact, it takes a lot of something special in order to keep me from taking a nap right in front of your boring bottles of nail polish. Sorry, it just does. So if you ever hear me raving about a certain polish, you better listen up. It’s a rare bird.

Now, pulling out two cutesy bottles of polish from Rockstar Nails – one a pale pink and the other full of little decorative sprinkles – was, simply put, non-eventful. Despite the precious little bow on the applicator, I was completely not interested. I will never take the time to sprinkle beads on my nails. I barely have enough energy to paint them at all, and even then I have trouble sitting still long enough to let them dry without screwing at least one nail all into oblivion.

Nothing says “got a lot of shit to do” like ten freshly painted fingernails. Happens every dadgum time.

Anyway, gave this away as well.

Last product is actually a really good one. It’s a tube of It’s So Big mascara by Elizabeth Mott. A great mascara for my lashes. Makes them long and fanned out and really nice looking. But since I already own this (got it from Ipsy back in September) I was a little bummed. I don’t enjoy duplicates only because part of the joy of beauty boxes is trying new and different things.

Yes, I gave this away too. I was so over the box, I didn’t even care anymore.

I hate to sound like a whiny brat. The box is $12. What do I expect? A curated masterpiece of luxury goods?

Yes.

I’m sorry! Ipsy is $10 and most of their stuff is great, plus you get a free makeup bag to boot. So it can be done. I can be pleased. Sadly, Beauty Box 5 just doesn’t do it for me. No wet noodles, please. Let’s just agree to disagree, mmmkay?

Canceling hurt a little bit. It felt like I was shoving mail back in the postlady’s face. I love my mail; I would never wanna do that. So I reacted in the only way I possibly could.

I subscribed to Boxycharm. Hooray!

Feb12

Birchbox | February 2014

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Guess what time it is?

I’m sorry, it’s just a box review. So whatever that thing is that you thought of that is way more exciting than what this thing is … I’m sorry.

But not sorry. It’s my damn blog.

Anywho.

Birchbox was first this month, which was odd. Normally it’s about 4th. I don’t know why I keep track of these things. I’m weird, I know it. Moving on.

Here’s the goods:

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First, the no likeys. You know how you get 5 products? Well two of those products done got used up on a shampoo and conditioner duo. Which should have been counted as one item. Because you can’t really have one without the other. I mean, honestly people! I swear, I could run my own business with logic like that.

Yes, I’m being a whiny, complaining baby. It’s a $10 box. Shut up, Brain.

The shampoo/conditioner culprit is a Toni & Guy damaged hair one. I used it tonight. What can you say about it after one use? Not much. Seemed alright. But the sample came in a bottle with no pump or squeeze top so getting the thick liquid out of it takes a bit of effort. And how do we feel about effort in the bathtub? That’s right. FAIL.

So I told Birchbox to stop sending me tea packets. Well, I didn’t get tea packets, but I got something almost as bad. Two packets of 32 Oral Care breath crystals. Whyyyyyeeeeee? I want beauty products, not a pouch of pop rocks. Hmmmphf.

Again, the box is $10. I’m really trying to behave.

Next up. A boring ole spritzer of perfume. I wish I was a perfume person. I’m just not. Even on my best night do I not wear perfume. It’s just not something I think of. I do own actual bottles, however. Okay, two bottles. Elizabeth Arden’s Green Tea, which I’ve proudly displayed in the back of my hall closet for nine years. And a honeysuckle smelling one from Victoria’s Secret that has this cute little hot pink squeeze bulb on it, which makes for adorable decoration on my sink next to the toothbrush cup.

So yes, not a fan of perfume. Imagine my surprise and sheer joy when I saw a tiny sample of Joan Vass L’eau de Cristal in my box. My face looked like someone was telling me a super long story about that time when they did that thing, and I promptly took a nap.

In the perfume’s defense, it did not smell bad. But that’s all I have to say about that.

Last item, and perhaps the saving grace of the whole deal, was this tube of mascara from 100% Pure. It’s made out of fruit so it smells like a medley of berries. But then I also used it the other day, and it lengthens my lashes pretty good as well. So I’m happy.

About time, right? Cuz this post has been one long rant of bummer.

On to the next box! Keep ’em coming.

Feb4

Glossybox | January 2014

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Remember that time when I told you I subscribed to nine beauty boxes?  Yeah, completely not true.  I subscribe to ten.  TEN.  Is that really necessary, you ask?

Yes.  The answer to that question is always yes.

This is the final box, though.  All ready to review for you just in time for the influx of February boxes that will start arriving next week.  The fun never ends, people.  Don’t worry.

Here’s what I got in my Glossybox this month:

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Purty stuff!  There’s only one thing in there that I’m not too sure about; everything else I will use.  I think that’s a pretty successful box if you ask me.  Glossybox is a nice one.  So sign up immediately.

First things first, the most awesome of all things awesome: the beautyblender.  This is not a dupe, this is the real thing.  And it’s fantastic.  Have you ever used one?  I’ve always wanted one, so several months ago I got an Ulta dupe.  Wasn’t very impressed so I stopped using it.  When I heard we were getting a beautyblender in our Glossybox, I was excited to finally get to try the tried and true.  Sooooo worth buying the original.  My foundation has never looked so flawless and beautiful.  I bounce this thing all over my face … tap tap tap tap tap … and voila! I love magic, don’t you?

Plus, they sent a bonus item – the beautyblender cleaner.  Not sure if this is a necessity or not, cuz regular brush cleaner might work just as well.  However, I’ll take it, please and thank you.  Anytime an item says “bonus” on it, I want it.  Can never be anything but good.

And then I got a little bottle of Balance Me super toning body wash.  The claim on this one is to improve your skin tone.  I don’t really have tone issues on my body, so I may  never know if this really works.  But the smell is decent, and I’ll use it simply because it’s body wash.  The only bummer is that it’s not a pump or a squeeze tube so it’s annoying to get out of the bottle.  And who has time to be annoyed while trying to relax in the bathtub?  Not me.  I have time for lazy, and that’s just about it.  If I get around to shaving my legs, it’s a dadgum miracle.

Next up is a mineral blush from Bellapierre.  I can’t remember what color I got but it only comes in 4 shades.  I haven’t used a mineral blush since 2006 or something so I forgot how much I liked it.  The color was very pretty on my cheeks, made me look as if I’d been sitting in a field full of wildflowers all day with nothing more to do but be innocent and pure.  Just a lovely flush.  I’m excited I got this.  I thought for a second I got another mineral eyeshadow, of which I DO NOT love, so had an episode of bummerocity for about 2.5 seconds.  Glad to see that was all for naught.

Got yet another moisturizer to add to the stack.  This time it’s from Vichy, an Aqualia Thermal Rich cream.  Sounds so fancy, and it should be since it’s made in France or somewhere else super exciting.  And if this matters to you, it won a Good Housekeeping award.  Apparently that’s quite prestigious, so if it doesn’t matter, it should.  I love award winners.  I instantly want it if it’s sitting on a shelf with an award winner sticker on it.  It’s a sad state of affairs sometimes.  There’s a lot of award winners out there, and only two paychecks per month.  So I appreciate Glossybox for sending this to me, saving me the trouble of having to buy it myself.

Last product is the one I’m not sure about.  It’s the Toni & Guy sea salt spray.  Now, I’m sure this is a great product for certain people.  Imagine simply spraying this in your hair, scrunching it around a little, and suddenly you look as if you’ve been frolicking on the beach all day, carefree and stress-free.  I, on the other hand, have difficulty achieving anything remotely looking like beach hair.  In fact, if I was leaning more towards something akin to severe case of bedhead, then I would look perfect.  I’m going to have to play with this a little.  Maybe on the weekend, see if I can create something relatively presentable and effortless.  We’ll see.

Alright y’all, that’s it for January.  Next round of boxes should be filtering in starting next week sometime.  Get excited!

Feb1

Petit Vour | January 2014

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And yet another box. This never ends.

This time around it’s Petit Vour, a vegan, cruelty-free, organic, all good stuff box. I’ve subscribed to this one for about 4 months and I’ve liked most of what I get, although sometimes there’s some stinkers. Like the eight vials of perfume oil that all smelled like dirt and grass. Ew. No thank you.

Happy to report (Cuz you care. YOU DO.), I love everything this month. Here’s the goods:

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The photo is super boring. I need to have a better way of displaying products. I’m sure everyone is tired of seeing my kitchen and bathroom counters. Maybe one day I’ll get me a fancy setup. Black velvet backdrop, or with props like some twigs or a pile of fall leaves. Candlesticks.

I’m not even sure what I’m talking about right now.

Back to the box! I got this lip butter by Ellovi that is really nice. I’m not sure if the term butter makes this any different than any other lip balm, but because it says so, it does. Just thinking it might have butter in it makes me feel as if I’m getting the softest, creamiest, most delicious lip product known to man. Because BUTTER. Plain and simple. It’s basic psychology.

One thing you must know about me is that I loooove mascara. Reason being is that I’m constantly on a lash lengthening mission, on the search for that holy grail perfect product. So getting this Beauty Without Cruelty Ultimate mascara made me very happy indeed. And after trying it out, I can’t say I’ve found the one, sadly, but it’s not bad. It’s got this weird little applicator that tends to make my lashes go clumpy in 2.5 seconds. But it’s not ridiculous clumpy, and it did lengthen somewhat. I’ll keep it in the rotation, but in the meantime, status: Still Searching.

Next in the box is another thing with butter in it. A shea butter body cream by Beurre, that is. Mine came in the vanilla scent, but it’s not overwhelmingly vanilla. In fact, I didn’t even know it was vanilla until I saw it written on the lid. Eh.

Haven’t used it yet as I’m trying to finish up my Moroccanoil body butter I got in an earlier box, but I did stick my finger in it (curiosity, it kills) and discovered the texture was very thick and emollient, seemed like it would melt pretty easily into the skin. Again, haven’t actually tried it so I could be very off-base. It could sit right on top of the body like a greasy butter skin for all I know. So probably shouldn’t try a review then. Moving right along.

Last product is yet another I haven’t tried as it gets in line behind 17 other like-minded items. But it’s a face and body scrub by Bella Pelle. Reading the stats, it claims to make your skin buttery soft – there’s that word – and removes body bumps. Not sure what that is, but body bumps can never be a good thing. Especially bumps in the wrong places. Like on my body.

Hmmphf.

Again, I like all the products in the box this month. I will use everything, which is a nice change. Cuz I seriously had to throw away those perfume oils and it just about killed me.

Onto the next box. Stay tuned!

Jan27

Lip Factory | January 2014

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These boxes will never end.  As soon as one month wraps up, the next batch of boxes come in.  Not that I’m complaining or anything.  Although my husband is starting to give me stink eye everytime he opens the mailbox.  I can’t even pretend the boxes aren’t for me.  Cuz he knows better. He’s too smart for his own good.

I shoulda married a dumb one.  Damn.

Anyway, Lip Factory came in and here’s what I got:

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A mix of highs and lows, but mostly highs so we’re gonna give this one a thumbs up.  First the lows.  What in sam hell is that one-time use skin care system doing in this box?!  Not knocking 29 Cosmetics or anything, but how am I gonna tell I wanna run out and buy an entire skin care line based on a one-time use?  Although, I will say the blister pack they sent is so much better than a packet.  I like it about one-tenth more because of it.

Next mediocre thing is the One Stick by Be A Bombshell.  I have received one of these already in a past Ipsy bag, and I didn’t like it all that much that time either.  The premise of the One Stick is that it can be used as a cream eyeshadow, blush or lipstick.  I don’t know what it is, though, that makes me not love it.  The Ipsy one was a super frosty pink that reminded me of my early 90s, triangle-shaped hair, big eyeglasses fiasco.  Maybe I’m suffering from a little PTSD, then?  I dunno.  But getting another one, although this time in super hot pink, made me go ew.  I put it in my train case of unused makeup.  It will die there, I’m sure.

Middle of the road thingy was this Electric Lip Slide by Bodyography.  I used it, and it is a super duper pigmented lipstick.  A little goes a long way here, unless you want to look a little hooker-y.  In that case, have at it.  I don’t know the name of the shade I got, but it’s a vibrant raspberry color.  It’s pretty but not a beautiful, can’t live with it kind of deal.  I’ll use it, but it will most likely last me until 2021.  Side note: this is a full-size tube; retail price $19.  That just about covers the entire $22 beauty box fee.  In other words: Go, Math!

My two favorite (and last) products in this box are by a company I’ve never heard of called Teeeze.  They are a Netherlands based company, so by that fact alone, I feel super international and fancy. I received this beautiful purple eyeshadow and matching eyeliner in the cutest, coolest packaging of anything I own.  See:

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Seriously.  I die.

I used both of these the other day at the same time, putting the eyeliner under my lower lashes and smudging it out a la professional makeup artiste.  And it was stunning.  Even my husband, who is brain dead when it comes to makeup and what things (in general) are supposed to look like, said my makeup was pretty.  So sweet.  I will put that in my arsenal of excuses for when I get in trouble in the future.  Cuz it’s bound to happen.  He can’t keep pulling box after box out of the mailbox with a simple stink eye for too much longer.  There’s gotta be a little pressure building underneath all that, surely?

Either that, or I’ve married Jesus.

Anyway.

Hope all is well with you.  Thank you for reading my ramblings.  More soon.

Jan24

Ipsy | January 2014

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I’m just gonna go ahead and give Ipsy their props.  They are one of the best, cheapest beauty boxes available.  If you don’t believe me … well, then something is wrong with you.  I mean, definitely cheapest – it’s $10 per month.  And the quality of products you get is phenom.  Granted, you don’t always like what’s in your box, but that is typical of every box.  But I like what I get more often than I don’t.  Therefore, (and back to the point) I am right.

But I never doubted myself for one second.

Now.  Having said all that, I’m going to sound like such an oxymoron when I say that this month’s box isn’t my favorite.  Here is what I mean:

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So there is a lovely little pack of makeup removal wipies from Absolute.  I’m not complaining as they are very useful, but just kind of boring.  Here’s an exact reenactment of what happened: saw makeup wipies, said oh thanks for the wipies, then tossed wipies on the bathroom counter and walked away.

Pretty noneventful, wouldn’t you say?  Excitement level: about knee-high.  Later on that evening, I did go back to the bathroom counter and used the wipies.  So take that as you may.  They were like any other wipie.  Was supposed to smell like pomegranate.  I do not know if this is an accurate claim, as I’ve never smelled a real pomegranate before.  But the wipies did smell, and not all that unpleasant, so I’m going to assume this claim is for real.

I hope you’re still reading this, because I just got bored for about 2.5 seconds.

Next up is a soy tri-wheat leave-in conditioner from Sexy Hair.  I do not know what tri-wheat is.  Nobody does, unless you are a scientist, or perhaps a farmer.  But I ran out of my 12 Benefits detangling spray, so it was nice to have something to replacement it with.  I’ve used it twice now, and I will say for me the spray is quite watery.  Does not feel very conditioning.  Although, I’m no expert on detangling spray.  So I could be spouting gibberish for all I know.  I will finish the bottle but won’t repurchase.  I like my 12 Benefits way better.

One of the most intriguing things is this Bright Skin Serum from Apothederm.  I love anything in serum form, as to me, a serum is a promise of better things to come.  Use this serum, and all your problems just go away.  The word “serum” by itself is a magic word.  I mean, don’t witches use serums?  Or maybe those crazy doctors from back in the 1800s who had weird herbs in jars and cured your tummy ache with the elixir of tree bark or something?

Maybe I’m thinking of potions.  I dunno.  Serum is a magic word, and that’s the end of that.

Anyway, the claim on this one is to brighten skin, even out skin tone, etc.  So I’m hopeful.  I just want a face like one of those Madame Tussauds wax people.  Is that too much to ask?

Also got this super skinny eyeshadow pencil from Elizabeth Mott in the shade Pearl.  I haven’t used it as part of my actual makeup look, but I did do a little sample on the inner corner of my eyelid after work one day.  It’s really sparkly.  That may be good for some people (i.e., teenagers) but I am old y’all.  I’m on the precipace of 40 and I don’t feel it’s appropriate to be dressing up my eye wrinkles in glitter.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  Might as well just put a little spotlight right on my crow’s feet for all the world to enjoy.

I say this as if I don’t wear glitter eyeshadow anymore.  And for the most part, I don’t.  But if I buy a palette, and there be something sparkly in there, I feel it’s wasteful if I don’t use it.  So I do so, but sparingly.  Which is how I’ll use this Elizabeth Mott one.

Last product in the batch, and my absolute favorite, is the tinted lip balm from MicaBeauty.  The color I got is called Natural, and it’s a really pretty rose.  The texture is quite dry/matte but in a good way.  The more you apply, the darker the lip balm is.  It can be sheer, but also very pigmented.  Do I make sense?  I hope so because I really love this product.  It is unlike any lip balm I’ve ever used.  I will most likely hit pan on this thing, unlike all the other barely dipped into lip balms I have in my bag.  In fact, I’ve left it out on my bathroom counter for convenience sake instead of locking it up in my train case full of hardly used crap.  That = love, people, trust me on this.

So I know I said Ipsy is one of my favorite bags, but according to this review it looks like it’s not.  But even with the mediocre items, I do find them all useful and well worth the $10 spent.  I am a fan.

Jan21

Sample Society | January 2014

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By this point you may be wondering if we’re done yet. The answer to that question is almost always NO.

Another beauty box, this time it’s Sample Society by Allure Magazine. I’ve been subscribing to this one for maybe three months now, and I like it pretty much. Plus, it got me to subscribe to my now favorite magazine (the previously mentioned Allure), so there’s that. And it’s also a dadgum beauty box (of which we love and/or are addicted to) so there’s that.

Here’s my bunch of goodies:

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For whatever reason, I got two StriVectin products in my box. I don’t think I’m complaining, as I’ve always wanted to try the brand. It’s also very expensive, therefore I automatically love it. (I suck, I know this.) But I’ve just never had a box give me two of the same brand before.

In any case, they sent me the Instant Retexturizing Scrub and the Eye Concentrate for Wrinkles. First off, should I be offended about that wrinkles thing? Doesn’t that sound so awful? How about we just call it ‘Eye Concentrate’ and then move right along? But no, you gotta go adding ‘For Wrinkles’ onto the end of it as if we don’t know or something. Let me clear this up: we know. That’s why we’re buying the dang Eye Concentrate to begin with.

Phffft.

On the other hand, I got a new eye cream to fix my wrinkles! Weeee! (Well, I never said I wasn’t excited…)

The other thing, the Retexturizing Scrub sounds promising. It says it works after the first use. Hallelujah for instant gratification! Why wait, I always say. I did use this the other day, but did so in conjunction with a facial mask so I’m not sure who’s to blame for my beautifully soft skin afterwards. I am going to give it another go tomorrow for my Mid-week Fancy (or Wednesday night exfoliation, in layman’s terms).

Also in the box was this bottle of nail strengthener called Horse Power by Butter London. I will admit at first I was like ho hum pig’s bum, but now that I’ve used it three nights in a row (per the instructions), I’m kind of loving it. I have horribly weak nails. I’m sure wearing falsies for 3 years straight has absolutely nothing to do with that. But I swear to you, no sooner will I achieve ten lovely shaped, perfectly manicured nails, will I have some sort of typing injury, or my zipper pull will get stuck in the downward position, or I will have a leisurely walk down the hallway and my swinging arm will hit a doorframe or something ridiculous to that effect – and break a nail. And then like some horrific chain reaction, a domino effect of nail breakages transpire, and before I know it, I’m
Nubby McNubbersteen and I have to start growing all my nails all over again.

How tragic.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m happy with the Butter London thingie.

Another brand I’ve been excited to try is Malin + Goetz. Received a little bottle of Vitamin E Face Moisturizer. Never against a good moisturizer, and this one has fatty acid absorption technology. I’m sure that means something to someone out there. But for me, I got sidetracked by its $45 price tag and suddenly I can’t see straight. I so love getting small versions of pricey things. Makes my heart feel good.

Last item, and one I am never ever ever excited about, is a perfume sample. I am not a perfume person. In fact, I have the same bottle of Elizabeth Arden Green Tea in my cabinet that my ex-husband bought me 8 years ago. Barely used. I could probably sell it on eBay as NEW for full-price as that is how unnoticeably used it is.

So despite the fact that you are Nicole Richie, you are famous, and you have your own perfume, I’m still unmoved. I just don’t care that much. Thank goodness the sample comes in a super tiny spritzer dealie and won’t last long. I can use it for a week or so, be done with it and set my conscience free.

And for the record, it doesn’t stink. That’s my review. It doesn’t stink. Yeahhhh. Pretty sure Nicole Richie is thanking me right about now.

That’s it. Til next time, my lovelies.