Tag Archives: Beauty Box 5

Beauty Box 5 | February 2014


I’ve gone and done it. It’s practically a Christmas miracle because usually I just tolerate things that make me unhappy. But I’ve finally cut the ties after five months.

I canceled Beauty Box 5.

Whaaaatttttt?! I know. I know. But it had to be done. Let me show you why:


So there’s a pack of LA Fresh antibacterial wipes in there. And while I’m not opposed to hand sanitizer type thingies, I’m not too enthused about them either. It’s like getting socks for your birthday – you’ll use them but that’s about as far as the excitement goes.

AND THEN! Shampoo and conditioner in a packet. Boooo. This is never gonna happen. It may be John Frieda, and it may be the most luxurious shampoo and conditioner that ever existed of all time. But I wouldn’t know anything about that because their sample came in packet form, and we all know how I feel about those circumstances.

Long story short, I gave this away to my friend at work. A good home, don’t worry.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you might already know I’m not much of a nail polish person. In fact, it takes a lot of something special in order to keep me from taking a nap right in front of your boring bottles of nail polish. Sorry, it just does. So if you ever hear me raving about a certain polish, you better listen up. It’s a rare bird.

Now, pulling out two cutesy bottles of polish from Rockstar Nails – one a pale pink and the other full of little decorative sprinkles – was, simply put, non-eventful. Despite the precious little bow on the applicator, I was completely not interested. I will never take the time to sprinkle beads on my nails. I barely have enough energy to paint them at all, and even then I have trouble sitting still long enough to let them dry without screwing at least one nail all into oblivion.

Nothing says “got a lot of shit to do” like ten freshly painted fingernails. Happens every dadgum time.

Anyway, gave this away as well.

Last product is actually a really good one. It’s a tube of It’s So Big mascara by Elizabeth Mott. A great mascara for my lashes. Makes them long and fanned out and really nice looking. But since I already own this (got it from Ipsy back in September) I was a little bummed. I don’t enjoy duplicates only because part of the joy of beauty boxes is trying new and different things.

Yes, I gave this away too. I was so over the box, I didn’t even care anymore.

I hate to sound like a whiny brat. The box is $12. What do I expect? A curated masterpiece of luxury goods?


I’m sorry! Ipsy is $10 and most of their stuff is great, plus you get a free makeup bag to boot. So it can be done. I can be pleased. Sadly, Beauty Box 5 just doesn’t do it for me. No wet noodles, please. Let’s just agree to disagree, mmmkay?

Canceling hurt a little bit. It felt like I was shoving mail back in the postlady’s face. I love my mail; I would never wanna do that. So I reacted in the only way I possibly could.

I subscribed to Boxycharm. Hooray!

Beauty Box 5 | January 2014


It’s always a big deal when I open my mailbox and there’s a pretty little package inside. Although it’s technically my husband that opens the mailbox as I pull the car up next to it, and the excitement I feel never ever matches his response. Which involves stink eye. But still.

Yesterday I got my new Beauty Box 5. I will admit it’s not my favorite out of all my boxes. In fact, it’s at the very bottom of the list. While it’s fun opening a box and not knowing what’s inside, the butterflies in the stomach, the anticipation that feels just like Christmas morning … well, that’s why I subscribe to 9 boxes. But when you open the lid to find a bunch of products I could easily go buy myself at Walmart, it feels a little deflated. My big pink balloon of happiness just fizzled and pooted it’s way down to my dirty hardwood floor. Depressing image to say the least.

Here’s what I got:


First of all, the only exciting piece of the box was the body wash from H2O Plus. I’ve seen this brand at Ulta and it’s something I would actually use – and did last night. It’s pretty pricey for the full-size ($17) so getting a super cheap sample is bonus points all around.

So let’s discuss the elephant in the room, shall we? Those huge pink gloves. They come from Swissco and you wear them while you bathe. You look completely ridiculous but can exfoliate like a mofo. I used them last night with my new body wash, and I can’t say I hated it. It softened my skin better than my little turquoise bath poof. But I don’t know if I’d use them all the time. I get extremely lazy in the bathtub and making the effort to put on a pair of gloves might prove to take too much energy.

Next is a tube of hemp coconut lip balm by Epic Blend. I love the smell of coconut. It reminds me if summer, sunshine, beaches and happiness. So by that factor alone, I will use this. But it’s still just a lip balm. I give straight faced stares at lip balms. They have no effect on me whatsoever. Unless they’re tinted. I might blink a little bit about that.

The little cuticle oil by Nubar could’ve been a winner, but the brush applicator was so stiff and frayed out on one side I could barely use it. Not sure if it was damaged because it froze to death sitting in a subzero warehouse somewhere or if I just got a defective one. But by this point I have no cares left to give, so I’ve moved on.

And they had the gall to put a Jergens lotion in the box. Jergens. As in the same brand of lotion you’ve probably bought yourself a jillion times before or already own right now this second. Snore. I’m taking a nap.

Lastly, they’ve thrown in a bonus product. And by “bonus” you’d think it would be something you’d want. You don’t. It’s a ridiculous promotional item (compact mirror) advertising a Zac Efron movie and I. Could. Care. Less. Plus, it’s super cheaply made and not the least bit girlie or cute. I hate to sound ungrateful but serious, they could’ve saved the trouble and just not sent it.

After all that longwindedness, basically what I’m saying is I don’t think the premise behind Beauty Box 5 is for me. They have an audience, don’t get me wrong, but sadly I’m not it. I may hold out for another month before making any drastic decisions. Because for $12 a month, it might still be worth the excitement of simply opening the box.

That’s my justification, people. Yes, I might need psychological help. In fact, let’s just get someone on speed dial, shall we? Thanks.