I’ve gone and done it. It’s practically a Christmas miracle because usually I just tolerate things that make me unhappy. But I’ve finally cut the ties after five months.

I canceled Beauty Box 5.

Whaaaatttttt?! I know. I know. But it had to be done. Let me show you why:

So there’s a pack of LA Fresh antibacterial wipes in there. And while I’m not opposed to hand sanitizer type thingies, I’m not too enthused about them either. It’s like getting socks for your birthday – you’ll use them but that’s about as far as the excitement goes.

AND THEN! Shampoo and conditioner in a packet. Boooo. This is never gonna happen. It may be John Frieda, and it may be the most luxurious shampoo and conditioner that ever existed of all time. But I wouldn’t know anything about that because their sample came in packet form, and we all know how I feel about those circumstances.

Long story short, I gave this away to my friend at work. A good home, don’t worry.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you might already know I’m not much of a nail polish person. In fact, it takes a lot of something special in order to keep me from taking a nap right in front of your boring bottles of nail polish. Sorry, it just does. So if you ever hear me raving about a certain polish, you better listen up. It’s a rare bird.

Now, pulling out two cutesy bottles of polish from Rockstar Nails – one a pale pink and the other full of little decorative sprinkles – was, simply put, non-eventful. Despite the precious little bow on the applicator, I was completely not interested. I will never take the time to sprinkle beads on my nails. I barely have enough energy to paint them at all, and even then I have trouble sitting still long enough to let them dry without screwing at least one nail all into oblivion.

Nothing says “got a lot of shit to do” like ten freshly painted fingernails. Happens every dadgum time.

Anyway, gave this away as well.

Last product is actually a really good one. It’s a tube of It’s So Big mascara by Elizabeth Mott. A great mascara for my lashes. Makes them long and fanned out and really nice looking. But since I already own this (got it from Ipsy back in September) I was a little bummed. I don’t enjoy duplicates only because part of the joy of beauty boxes is trying new and different things.

Yes, I gave this away too. I was so over the box, I didn’t even care anymore.

I hate to sound like a whiny brat. The box is $12. What do I expect? A curated masterpiece of luxury goods?

Yes.

I’m sorry! Ipsy is $10 and most of their stuff is great, plus you get a free makeup bag to boot. So it can be done. I can be pleased. Sadly, Beauty Box 5 just doesn’t do it for me. No wet noodles, please. Let’s just agree to disagree, mmmkay?

Canceling hurt a little bit. It felt like I was shoving mail back in the postlady’s face. I love my mail; I would never wanna do that. So I reacted in the only way I possibly could.

I subscribed to Boxycharm. Hooray!