Tag Archives: subscription boxes

Dec22

Sample Society | December 2014

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I’m feeling very far behind in life this month.  Maybe it’s because of Christmas and the fact I wait until the very last minute to accomplish anything.  Maybe it’s because the sun has hidden itself behind clouds for the 57th day in a row, and all I wanna do is hibernate.  But most likely it’s because I can procrastinate like someone is paying me to do it, and when there’s money involved I can and will do just about anything.

Except for blogging in a timely manner, obviously.  And prostitution.  But hopefully you knew that already.

Here’s my Sample Society:

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Great box if I do say so.  One of their better ones actually.  There’s only one thing in here that’s useless to me (guess which), but everything else I’m excited about.

I have so many eye creams under my bathroom sink right now it’s not even funny.  Even so, I’m good with getting another one.  This Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair eye cream sounds like a keeper.  It claims to reduce every key visible sign of aging which sounds like a dream come true.  But most importantly, and because I am ridiculous, I’m especially excited that it dries to a soft, velvety finish.  Who wants sticky eye areas?  Not me.

Anyway, I think I’m going to put this one in the front of the line so I can get right to it after I finish the one I’m currently using.  Keep y’all posted like I always do.

The product I was most looking forward to trying was the Burberry Fresh Glow Luminous Fluid Base.  At first, I wasn’t sure what to do with it – is it foundation, a liquid highlighter, or one of those shimmery glitter things that teenagers wear to school dances?  Oh, the anxiety!  But it’s Burberry so technically it didn’t matter – I’d find a way to use it and love it and never let it go.  I did some proper research anyway and discovered that yes, it can be used as a liquid highlighter, and no, it is not foundation – unless a silver sheened face is the look you’re going for.  However, the best way to use this – and I can attest – is as a foundation booster.  I add a pea-size amount (dotted onto my face) alongside my foundation then blend together.  You get this lovely, radiant finish but in a subtle, something’s different about you way.  Naturally I bought the full size.  Primarily because it’s Burberry, but secondly because it’s beautiful.  I know, I have a problem.

Got a Crabtree & Evelyn hand therapy in the Verbena and Lavender scent.  This has the tendency to be boring as it’s just hand lotion, but it is something useful since I apply lotion just about everyday.  I’ve never owned anything from this brand, so of course I immediately wanted it.  It has a super nice texture – absorbs abnormally quick; no sticky lotion hands.  Smells very good. Kind of zesty and fresh. I might even go out on a limb and say as far as hand lotions go, this one might be the most un-boring I’ve ever tried. Are you buying this yet? You should be.

Received a Butter London Lippy tinted balm in the shade Teddy Boy.  This was kind of a fun thing to get.  It’s a lip balm that looks like a lipstick, medium coverage and very moisturizing.  The color I got was like a rose neutral and it shows up very well.  It’s creamy but not shiny; definitely not matte.  It’s very impressive color-wise for a lip balm.  In fact, you’d probably not even know it was a lip balm if you didn’t see it written right there on the tube.  Similar in texture to the NYX Butter Lipsticks, if you’ve tried those.  I recommend.  Go on.  Put it in your basket.

Last thing in the box was (you guessed correctly) the big poo.  It’s an RGB nail polish in the shade Oxblood.  Mine was broken and leaking in the box, so even if I wanted it I couldn’t have it.  But since I didn’t give two spits, I threw it in the trash and moved on with my life.  However, if anyone wants to know, the color is a deep Bordeaux red and RGB recommends two coats.

There ya have it.  The best blog post you’ve ever read.  Don’t worry; I’ll be back tomorrow with more fun stuff.

Dec1

Glossybox | November 2014

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I finally broke down and bought proper trouser socks to go with my dress shoes for work.  I am not a child and am quite aware you aren’t allowed to wear orange and green polka dot socks with a navy sweater.  I can’t say the trouser socks are breaking any fashion barriers or anything, but at least they are black and match everything.

Look, it’s my Glossybox:

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This is one of the best boxes they’ve sent.  I will use every single thing in here – even the nail polish, although probably just once.  Hooray for Christmas miracles!  Let’s begin.

I will never turn my back on skin care.  So receiving the Juice Beauty Green Apple Age Defy moisturizer is a welcomed sight.  I’ve used one of the green apple products before – a mask – and it doesn’t particularly smell like green apples.  So I’m expecting the moisturizer to be the same.  I suppose the green apple isn’t necessarily a scent-thing but more an acid-thing because it’s loaded with alphas and betas that will help brighten your skin and get rid of discoloration.  This is perfect for me.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am plagued with hyperpigmentation (i.e., old pimple scars).  I have a cluster of it right on my cheek which makes looks me look like I’ve been sweeping chimneys for 8 hours.  If I was nine years old, I know my mama’d be coming after me with her magic cleaning thumb.  It’s not dirt, people; I don’t need a spit-polish.

Long story short, I’d be nice if this moisturizer works.  We shall see.

I’ve owned the 12 Benefits hair treatment in the past, and it’s my absolute favorite leave-in product ever.  I can spray this all over my hair and never worry about it feeling scummy or weighed down after it’s dried.  I have been meaning to buy the full-size, but I keep getting all these ho-hum samples from my boxes that I’m making an effort to use up.  Since I technically paid for all of them.  Being responsible isn’t always the most fun.

In case you’re curious, the 12 benefits of 12 Benefits are: seals hair color, smooths frizz, repairs damage, prevents split ends, moisturizes, strengthens, prevents flat iron/chlorine/wind/sun damage, adds shine/softness, protects from blow drying, improves detangling, and maintains youthfulness.  Doesn’t that all sound amazing?  It does, and now you want it.  Put it in your basket.

Received an OPI nail polish in custom shade called Pink Outside the Glossybox.  Isn’t that clever?  Even so, I don’t wanna keep it.  It matches the Glossybox boxes perfectly, though.  However, it’s just a basic pink in my eyes.  I think I will use it maybe this weekend, take a selfie for posterity, and then give it away to my daughter.  It’s all in the spirit of Christmas.

I was super excited to see the So Susan universal blush in my box.  I have never heard of this brand, which is the number one reason I subscribe to beauty boxes: trying new brands.  The packaging of the blush is pretty boring, but the color is really lovely.  And then I realized it’s one of those self-adjusting blushes that will change to suit your skin tone.  What kind of voodoo magical witchcraft is this?!  I don’t know about you, but I would buy it simply for this fact alone.

I have been wearing it for a couple days, and I feel like the color is very flattering.  A pretty mauve-y pink.  It’s very pigmented as well so be careful.  I over applied the first time, and it was less flattering more prostitute-y.  I was much more deliberate the next time and it fared much better.  This may very well be in the top tier of all my blushes.  And I have a lot, so that’s saying something.

Last thing in the box is a Kneipp Herbal Bath in Balancing Lavender.  I’ve always wanted to do something like this.  How extra special Princessy!  Who doesn’t want to lounge in a bath with the smell of lavender all around you?  Maybe people who don’t like the smell of lavender, but other than that, I can imagine everyone doing it.  This particular one helps combat fatigue and gives you peace of mind and other Zen-like things.  If that’s not your thing, though, there are other scents for muscle aches, sleep deprivation, energy, stress, even cold and flu.  So I think I’m gonna give this a try over the weekend and I’ll report back how it went.  If I manage to slither my way out of the bathtub, that is.  I can do Princess Time like it’s my damn job.  As well it should be.  I’m var var good at it.

All done and now I’m starving.  Time for snacks.  Possibly a nap.  Most definitely pajamas.  See ya tomorrow friends.

 

Nov29

Birchbox | November 2014

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As much as I love buying makeup and skin care, as much as I love a good sale and hate to waste a coupon, I refuse to wake up at three in the morning just to stand in line for four hours waiting to score one of five super cheap TVs, Playstations or life-size Elsa dolls.  There may be a math problem in that sentence for someone, but it pretty much boils down to this:  if it involves pants, lots of waiting, and a possible bloody nose, I kindly bow out.  I haven’t Black Friday shopped once in my life.  That’s why the internet was invented, people.  Do you not know this?

Here’s my Birchbox:

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First of all, they stuck a little piece of Vosges Pink Himalayan Crystal Salt Caramel in my box, and I almost didn’t get this picture taken before I discreetly and ladylikely inhaled it.  Ugh.  So delicious.  I will take a million of them, thanks.  It’s not a hard caramel either; it’s liquid – the kind where you have to tilt your head back to bite into unless you’d like a caramel trail oozing down your chin.  Not that I’m opposed to that or anything.  I can think of worse things oozing down your chin.  Hot pizza cheese, grease from a jalapeno popper.  Toothpaste foam.  My point is, eat this caramel.  It’s divine.

A beauty box wouldn’t be proper without the forever unwanted perfume sample.  Aside from that, though, enough with the Harvey Prince already.  Lordt.  I think I’ve received his entire scent collection by now.  Seriously, do a search on this blog and report back.  Pretty sure I’ve reviewed like 15 of them.  This time I got the Petaly Noir version.  It’s a Birchbox exclusive, so don’t even think of buying this somewhere else.  If you must buy this at all.

According to my research, this is a very, very feminine scent.  Notes are lily of the valley, jasmine, orchid, patchouli, sandalwood, amber, with slight hints of vanilla and musk.  It is mysterious, provocative, captivating.  Do you want this yet?  It’s also described as “insanely great” which sounds like someone lost their thesaurus at this point.  Or else they are trying to invoke a sexy mood, but then when you get right down to it, you laugh and laugh and ruin everything.  Can’t say that’s never happened to me before.  Anyway *blink blink* …

I’m happy with receiving the Derma e Evenly Radiant Brightening Cleanser because it’s targeted for people with uneven pigmentation, freckles, dark spots, and sun damage.  I have all those things.  I suppose I don’t mind the freckles so much, except my freckles are less cutesy and more splotchy.  They’re probably not even freckles anymore.  As my dermatologist said the last time I went and pointed out all these odd little spots on my face – oh yes, that’s typical of aging and yes, caused by aging and yup, you’re old-slash-aging.

I haven’t gotten a chance to use this yet as I’m currently working my way through something else.  But watch for it in an upcoming Empties post.  Are you excited? (Yes, you are.)

It’s safe to say I really loved the Royal Apothic Cuppa Cuppa Firming Tea Mask.  It’s a visual feast, for one.  The packaging is adorable.  You get 6 single-use tubes housed in a pretty little tin.  The mask itself comes out this luscious muted purple color.  Seriously, this could have been slug trail for all I know, but it’s PURPLE and therefore want it on my face.  I was quite surprised that the mask had a cool tingle effect that lasted the entire time I had it on.  At first I thought my face was going to fall off; I googled WebMD and he said everything was going to be fine.

The instructions say to use the entire contents of one tube and rub all over your face, neck and chest.  If you didn’t feel like all that, I know you could get a couple – maybe three – uses out of one tube.  And because the full size of 6 tubes is $58, I recommend it highly.  The product is supposed to work its magic in 8 minutes, so I set the alarm for exactly 8 minutes.  I appreciate explicit instructions and so should you.  Because I swear, if I read another “apply to eye area” I may scream.  What encompasses the eye area exactly?  Just under the eye?  Or can you add the lid, under the brow, and above the brow, too?  Or maybe a combination of under eye/under brow only?  Or perhaps just on the orbital bone?  And if that’s the case, would that be directly on the bone or just in the vicinity either slightly above or below the bone?  Yeah, nobody actually knows.

Once the timer went off, my mask wasn’t dry.  Not sure if it was supposed to be or not, but to err on the side of caution (and because the instructions told me to), I washed it off anyway.  My face felt very refreshed and smooth.  This was very much a spa-like experience for me.  All that was missing was a big fluffy white robe and little finger sandwiches.  I know I won’t buy the full size because I do feel like its kind of overpriced for the amount of uses you get.  Because y’all know I’m not opposed to pay $58 for a mask, but I’d like to be able to use it longer than (technically) six times.

Got this itty bitty baby theBalm Cindy-Lou Manizer highlighter/blush/eyeshadow all-in-one thingy. Not to be confused with the Mary-Lou or the Betty-Lou, the Cindy-Lou is a shimmery peachy pink meant to be worn pretty much wherever you want.  I tried it as a highlighter, and it is super duper subtle.  Nothing wrong with being subtle, but if I’m going to go through the trouble of applying highlighter, it bygod better show up.  Cuz I don’t add 27 steps to my morning routine for no reason.   I did not sample this as a blush or eyeshadow because I decided I didn’t want to.  I’m giving this to my daughter for her to enjoy.  But if you enjoy a subtle highlighter, then by all means, do.  It’s still a very pretty color.

Last item in the box is the Amika Nourishing hair mask.  Y’all know I’ve been loving and adoring my Carol’s Daughter Monoi hair mask, but I’m not opposed to trying different kinds.  I only got one use out of the sample they gave me so I can’t say anything regarding the long-term effects, but for the short term … ummmm, it smelled nice.  It was thick and creamy.  But when I was drying my hair, I felt like it was a little weighed down.  So perhaps it coated my strands in a little too much nourishment.  Can that even happen?  Can hair be too hydrated?  The tube says it will seal in my split ends, but I’ll just be honest with you: my hair texture has been pretty much the same for all eternity, so if I have a split end situation happening upon my head, I probably don’t even know.  My hair is poofy.  That’s about all I can say for certain.

Long story short, it’s not a bad mask for the right hair type.  I probably won’t buy it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.  If anything, the packaging would look cute on your counter.

And now for the weird, disjointed outro.  Maybe one day I’ll come up with some clever way to end my posts.  But for now, let’s just stick with awkward.  Bye!

Nov28

Ipsy | November 2014

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Did everyone survive Thanksgiving?  We ended up doing a nighttime dinner, so all of the daytime I spent reading US Weekly and eating chips in bed.  Can’t say it wasn’t enjoyable.  Although, I paid for my relaxin’ since I was in charge of about 10 hours worth of dishes after we all ate.  My fingernails are ragged, brittle little babies today.

Below you will find the most boring Ipsy that ever lived:

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Boo. Snore.  I’m sure you agree.

I can’t even use my necessity excuse in order to enjoy this Marc Anthony Oil of Morocco hairspray.  I don’t use hairspray.  Like, ever.  In fact, Birchbox had sent me a little deluxe-sized hairspray about a year ago and I put it in my drawer “just in case” and it still has it’s little wrapper on it.  I can’t even give you a proper review because I literally don’t know.  My friend got this in her Ipsy bag as well and she told me she liked it.  Does that help?  No?  Moving on.

I already own one of these J. Cat Beauty Wonder Lip Paint although not in this color, WLP111 Red Potion.  Can’t say I won’t use it, but it’s such a dark plum-red color that I may not go anywhere that presents an opportunity to use it.  It’s a party color, like for New Year’s Eve or something.  The last time I did anything special for New Year’s Eve, I was at work doing work and my shift ran over past midnight.  Ever since then, I’ve become very much an indoor girl.  Cooking little fried appetizers – taquitos, mini quiches, bagel bites – and wearing pajamas have been more my thing lately.  I suppose I could still wear the lip paint, though.

These thing are potent.  Super vibrant color with the staying power that’ll blow your mind and piss you off all at the same time.  Don’t apply this with your finger, unless you want purple fingertips for the next 3 days.  If you’ve used an OCC Lip Tar, these are very similar but like only $5 which is nice.

The only thing I actually liked and will continue using is the Elizabeth Mott You’re So Fine liquid eyeliner in Glitterati.  Previously, I thought all my liquid liner skills had gone to pot when I tried using theBalm’s Schwing and failed miserably.  This Elizabeth Mott one was my second chance.  It glided on very smoothly.  The brush didn’t split into 15 single little hairs.  I could even do a pretty decent wing without making a horrid mess.  I’m actually going to venture out and say this liquid liner is easier to apply than my pen liners, and that makes me var var happy indeed.  I feel like I’m back to my old self.  Not the self that spent 5 minutes on a morning makeup routine, but the self that could apply liquid eyeliner without gooping it all up.  No, that 5-minute self has been kicked out of the club.  If she comes back, be concerned.  Also bring antidepressants.

I do not love cream eyeshadow, so even though there is nothing wrong with this Be A Bombshell eye base, I simply don’t want it.  I got the color Submissive, which is a pale bronze.  It swatched very nicely.  And it blended really well.  I’m just annoyed to use it.  But I kept it just in case someone steals all my eyeshadows but that one.

For the record though, I didn’t hate the color. And it wasn’t awful to wear.  Nor was it a pain (that much) to apply.  I can see where I’d use it if I wanted to brighten up some bland neutral powders.  Or if that 5-minute self really does come back one day, I hate to admit that this little pot of shadow may very well become my BFF.  Until then, though, it’s going to live in my Train Case of Forgotten Makeup and keep it’s little trap shut.

This is the second time a box sent me a Temptu S/B highlighter, and I still don’t want it. I got the Pink Pearl shade this go round so it was nice not to get a repeat color at least. These liquid highlighters are meant to be used with the Temptu airbrush machine, but apparently that’s not a necessary requirement. I was more excited about getting the first one cuz I hadn’t owned it before. But now that I know how much I never used it, receiving it again is quite the lackluster event. Ah well. A fitting theme for this box at least.

But for those who are actually curious about this product, I will give you a list of uses. Top of the cheekbones. Inner corner of the eye. On the cupids bow. Under the brow bone. Above the arch of the brow. Mixed in with foundation to give an all over glow. So obviously very versatile. But will I ever do those things? Doubt it. Cuz it’s a liquid highlighter and that takes extra time, time of which I do not have. Unless I set my alarm for 5 a.m. And then also skip eyeliner. So there’s hope (said me, NEVER).

You’re at the end. Thanks for reading, guys. Please feel free to comment, like, or share with your best friend’s cousin’s wife’s sister’s hairdresser. Or just stick it on your Facebook. Same thing.

Nov24

Sample Society | November 2014

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You know what ruins 60-degree weather?  No sun.  And rain.  You know what also ruins 60-degree weather?  Hanging around the AT&T store for 3 days trying to figure out what is wrong with my phone.  I am fighting the urge to throw my brand new Samsung Galaxy S5 across the room, but I’m betting that might not fix anything.  I am waiting “patiently” for an “engineer” to look into my situation.

In the meantime, here’s Sample Society:

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Not a bad box this time.  Finally, a little ray of hope has peeked its way into my world.  But let’s not get carried away.  Let’s review.

I’ll just be honest: the fact that Lorac calls their mascara “Cobra” is enough for me to say no thank you.  I have a deathly fear of snakes; therefore, I can’t separate real snakes from fake snakes – even the mascara kind.  However, because I technically paid for the dang thing, and I was trying to be a professional, I held my breath and went for it anyway.

Good God, the wand is shaped like a cobra head.  Well, that solves that.  Back in the tube you go.

Urgh, FINE.  I am a beauty blogger.  I am a strong, fearless woman.  It’s just makeup.  Nothing to be afraid of.  Starting to itch, though.  I’ve got the hives.  Maybe a slight brow sweat.  Heart is lurching.  Stomach is dropping.  I’m literally the only person in the world about to die from the Lorac Cobra mascara.

And then … well, it wasn’t so bad actually.  The brush actually made the application really easy.  A nice wet formula.  No clumps.  Decent volume, acceptable length.  Eyelashes look pretty good.  Nothing dramatic, but definitely a noticeable difference.  I liked it.  Granted, I’ll never buy the full-size ever never in my entire lifetime, but that’s beside the point.  Baby steps, y’all.

Then I got this Malin + Goetz bergamot body wash.  I’m okay with getting this because A) I just finished a body wash and B) I always need body wash.  There really isn’t much to say about a body wash though.  Did it clean your skin? If so, I would call that a success and then move on with life.  As for the scent, it’s made with bergamot extract.  If you know what bergamot is, then you may sit yourself back down.  For the rest of us normal people, it’s an oil found in the peel of the Bergamot orange.  Which would lead one to believe this is a citrus-smelling body wash.  Wellll, it’s not.  It has a slightly spicy smell; maybe I could eke out a touch of citrus if I concentrate real hard.  But who wants to do that while relaxing in the tub?  Not me.  That’s Princess Time – if I manage to lift my leg up to shave it, that’s an Act of God practically.  And also Ordinance No. 345, Article 25, Section 3a of the Marriage Code.  (Says my husband.)

The only thing I didn’t care for at all is the Calvin Klein Reveal perfume.  It would be so much easier if perfume was interesting to me.  I haven’t bought myself a perfume since 2004.  That’s not a typo.  Plus, I still have it.  It’s probably a bottle full of poison at this point, but I still have it.

However, for those that need to know, here is the description of the perfume taken directly from the internet:  Sultry. Warm. Unexpected. REVEAL defines a new olfactive category – the solar oriental – a second skin scent characterized by unexpected raw salt, luminous flowers and warm woods.

Did this make you want to buy it?  How about this:  top notes are salt and pepper.  Did you just say salt and pepper?! out loud like I just did?  I’m not even sure that’s proper perfume ingredients.  It’s most likely written down in the International Perfume Handbook listed under the chapter titled NO.  Why Calvin Klein didn’t consult his handbook first is beyond me.

And in case you were wondering, other notes include oris and solar accord.  Which are two things that don’t even exist.  Nexxxxxt.

If you have super fine hair (like me) and want to scare the crap out of yourself, then you should read the Allure magazine review of the Alterna Caviar Omega+ Nourishing Oil.  The word “globby” is in there as well as “dull residue” – that’s enough to make me kindly walk away.  I have issues with hair products that promise to solve all my problems.  My hair is so fine that any amount of stuff will weigh it down or give me a dirty, sticky feeling.  So I approached this hair oil with trepidation.

The term “globby” is about right.  This is a syrupy, stringy mess.  I think I put in about two drops worth – maybe the size of a pea.  Ran this all through my ends, and that’s all I had the guts for.  There’s no way in hell I was going further up because I was in no mood for “dull residue” or even the “flatness” that they’ve warned might happen to those with fine hair.  And the result?  Well it didn’t feel gross, so that’s one thing.  My hair seemed to be a little smoother on the ends. At least it wasn’t as poufy as usual.  So I’m hopeful.  I will continue to use it and let you know if anything miraculous happens in a future Empties post.

Last thing in the box was this MDSolarSciences MD Crème Mineral Beauty Balm.  I used this a couple weekends ago, and all I can say is if you don’t care much about coverage, this would be a great BB for you.  I have a horrid, splotchy complexion so you can imagine how much I didn’t love it – it’s so incredibly sheer.  Felt like a silicone-y moisturizer going on, gives off a nice matte finish, somewhat blurs out minor ugly things, but all my freckles and that hideous pimple scar was having a political protest right there upon my face.  In other words:  NOT GOING ANYWHERE.  However, it still felt really nice, has a very high SPF, and would work wonders for those with already pretty nice complexions.  I’m passing it along to my daughter who has skin of a Victorian doll.  How I managed to produce something that exquisite, I’ll never know.

We’re done for the day.  If I don’t manage to get back on before Thanksgiving, wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday.  I’m going to try very hard not to eat myself into a no-pants-on situation.  It’s not a very attractive look for me.  (Or anyone for that matter.) (Except for Ryan Gosling.)

Bye!

Nov17

New Beauty Test Tube | November 2014

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You wanna know what happens when you go from 70+ degrees on a Monday down to 30 degrees for the rest of the week?  Depression, wearing socks with high heels, and a cold sore.  Awesome.

I need cheering up.  Here’s my New Beauty Test Tube:

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Guess what?  Still depressed, cold and making horrible fashion decisions.

I’m sorry that I paid $38 for this and only got two good products.  Like I was so severely sorry, that I ended up cancelling my subscription.  You know how much perseverence that required?  I mean, I can barely brush my teeth with my eyes open much less dial a phone number to request a cancellation.  But cancel I did, and oddly enough I don’t even feel guilty about it.  I may be growing up.  Although I still have my husband take my chicken off the bone for me, so probably not.

First item is the Dermalogica Precleanse, which is basically just a cleansing oil used to break up your makeup prior to actually cleansing with real soap.  Seems like a redundant step, but I do it anyway.  If anything, it saves your wash rags from getting more dirty than they actually get.  Although I don’t prefer to use oil but rather a cleansing milk because cleansing milk sounds much more fancy, and I am a princess and that’s how princesses do.  And don’t even try arguing with that kind of logic.

However, the oil.  It was fine.  I’ll use it.  It works just as good as any of the other precleanse products I’ve ever used.  Probably won’t repurchase though because, again, PRINCESS.

Then I got a Donell Lip Saver lip balm.  Excuse me while I go take a nap.  Even the packaging is boring.  The only upside to this is I can use it in the morning before I start my makeup routine.  Other than that, it’s not even coconut flavored.  Boooo.  Next.

Virtually every Test Tube I’ve ever gotten has included a Mally Starlight eyeliner.  That’s probably exaggeration, but it feels like they send one everytime.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t use this product, but they sent me silver (shade name: Starshine), and I already own two other silver eyeliners.  Unfortunately I’m not an eyeliner hoarder (except for black, strangely enough) so this is pretty much a regift.  And also evidence that it was definitely time to move on from the Test Tube.

I actually cared that I received a tube of this John Frieda Frizz-Ease Smoothing Creme seeing as A) it is intended for straight hairstyles, which I have and B) it is also intended for frizzy hair, which I also have.  Seems perfect.  I applied this to mostly my ends, but maybe a little bit higher up than that.  I was scared it was gonna give me goopy hair so I was being a little frugal on how much I put on.  Because nobody has time to rewash their hair, especially someone who can only manage it twice a week.  Thankfully, things worked out.  I did not get goopy hair and my ends actually seemed to be a little smoother.  And on the days where I didn’t wash my hair and simply combed it before work (read: lazy), the ends stayed smoother-looking than normal.  Granted, no miracle was performed or anything, but it was better.  I’m thinking I might take a little risk and apply a bit more just to see what happens.  It may look like I accidentally dipped my hair into a skillet of bacon fat (which I’ve done before, not surprisingly, and which also required two back-to-back hair washings), but I’m going to do it anyway.  It’s for science.  And for this blog.

Next we have a Votivo candle travel tin in the Icy Blue Pine scent.  To save you time (as I know it is precious), I will describe this for you in one word:  NO.  And now we may move on with our lives.  Unless you like the smell of men’s cologne mixed with one of those tree-shaped car fresheners, in which case SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.

I did try to pawn it off to a few co-workers.  It took a bit, but someone did take it.  Pretty sure it had more to do with it being free then it actually smelling good.  I’ve done that before.  Which is how I’ve come home with chip clips from the insurance agency, magnets (also probably from the insurance agency), and Post-It Notes from the office supply cabinet (which actually might be more of a stealing situation than a free one).

You what’s funny?  Making an EMERGENCY trip to Sephora to buy makeup remover wipes only to come home and open the mail and find a pack of Klorane makeup remover wipes in it.  Believe it or not, this happens all the time.  I am excited, though, to try this brand as I absolutely love their hair products.  Plus the packaging is very pretty – nice, calming blue color.  I don’t know why that matters; it just does.  They’re also made with soothing cornflower, which also (mysteriously) makes me want to use them.  So in about 20 days when I’m finished with the emergency wipes, I’ll get started on these and report back.

But back to the real reason why I’m cancelling this box.  I received the Revision Intellishade tinted moisturizer duo, a sample I had previously received a mere 4 boxes ago.  That irritates me var var much.  I paid a lot of money for this subscription hoping for some new products and/or brands to try.  Not sad little repeats like these teeny tiny tubes of BB cream.

Now, this irritation is nothing against the product itself.  It’s actually a very good one.  I used the regular (not matte) version over the weekend, and it gave me a very nice glowing finish (or else it could’ve been the 2 inches of hideous snow reflecting back at me).  The coverage is pretty sheer – I mean, my splotches were evened out slightly, but freckles and pimple scar were out and proud.  I even put two layers on, and eh.  Still there.  However, I do find it very cool that this one shade of BB cream is supposed to work for everyone.  Everyone.  I love products that take out the guesswork.  Plus it has SPF 45 AND won a Beauty Award.  So while I was not thrilled to receive more tubes of this, at least it wasn’t something hideous.

Last product in the tube is the CHI Silk Infusion hair treatment.  I have owned and used this product in the past.  In fact, I gave my daughter a practically unused bottle of this about 6 months ago.  And then, magically, it shows right back up at my house to teach me a lesson.  I didn’t dislike it or anything; I gave it away cuz I had so many new hair samples to try that it was clogging up my hair drawer.  In an effort to tidy up and organize, but see where that gets me?  A brand new bottle to take up space.

I will say that I recall using this several times previously, and I never got that icky dirty hair feeling.  It’s like an oil, but I guess it’s not an oil but rather silk molecules, which until now you didn’t even know existed (trust me, you did not).  In case you don’t know what this stuff does, I will paraphrase for you:  strengthens, heat protects, improves moisture and shine, defends against the environment.  So fiiiiiiine.  Back in the hair drawer you go.  Alongside all those hifalutin’ samples that mostly turned out to be big poo-poos anyway.

Let’s all take a moment to say goodbye to the New Beauty Test Tube.  It was good, but then again, not really.  I did get a free New Beauty magazine subscription out of the deal, which I actually enjoyed very much and have chosen to continue.  So all’s well that ends well.  I can now spend my $38 on things I actually want NEED.

Nov10

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | November 2014

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Don’t you just love it when you frequent a business so much they actually recognize you when you come into the store?  If Sephora was a Starbucks, they’d have my Tall Raspberry Mocha Non-Fat No-Whip all lined up and ready to go.  As a matter of fact, I go in so often they might as well go ahead and get me the Starbucks.  You know, really drive that customer service thing to home plate.

Got my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

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My face hurts from so much frowning.  Uhhhhnnnn.

I’m on the verge of canceling this box, I think.  I just haven’t been very impressed, or else the impressive boxes are few and far between.  I feel very grown up and responsible for saying this cuz y’all know how much I love my monthly Christmas surprises.  So as soon as I find another box to replace this box, I’ll let this box go.  Might’ve negated my grown up and responsible comment, but I’m not a superhuman.

Let’s start with the Julien Farel Hydrate Restore hair shampoo thing.  I’d already gotten a similar Julien Farel product in a previous Blush box, so imagine my excitement in getting another one. (There isn’t any.) This go round, however, they sent the one for fine hair, which I have. Fiiiiiine. I will accept.

Instructions are just like last time where you apply directly to dry hair then add a little water to make a cream. Massage then rinse. Seems easy, except it’s not. I have really long hair and putting this on it dry is a nightmare. Like, it never feels even; there’s dry hair patches everywhere. If you wanna kick your OCD into high gear, I highly recommend.

And then naturally after all that flashy production, I ended up with very dirty, greasy hair and had to rewash it with regular shampoo. Julien Farel himself told me I used too much. Welllll, you need to put precise measurements on your bottle then. You can’t just tell me to cook fish til it flakes easily with a fork cuz that isn’t a real cooking term. My fellow Virgos are all nodding their heads, I just feel it.

Next product is the Nick Chavez Prickly Pear Restoring Mist.  If I cared enough about hair products, maybe I would be excited for this.  But my hair routine is hardly an event.  I like to put in a leave-in conditioner, maybe a cream to control the frizzies, but other than that, I’m pretty low-maintenance (on the hair front, that is).  However, because I have it and technically I paid for it, I’m using it.  Directions say after shampooing and conditioning, spray onto damp hair on ends and comb through.  Does this sentence confuse anyone else?  Should there be a comma in there somewhere?  Are they saying to spray on damp hair AND on the ends, or just spray on your damp ends?  Oh my gawd, my OCD can’t take it.  Forget it; I hate this product.

And then Blush decides to go over the top with their fabulousness and send me a repeat item that I just received barely a few months ago.  It’s the Laura Geller Cool Lids cream eyeshadow in Silver Sands.  Uhhhhh, delete.  They could’ve at least sent a different color if they were determined to mail this thing out again.  However, I didn’t use the first one so a second one in a different color wouldn’t have mattered one bit.  I’m feeling slightly asshole-ish, so here’s a couple things I actually care about:

1.  SkinMedica TNS Eye Repair – I never hate an eye cream, or at least the receiving of an eye cream.  This one says it improves smoothness and hydration, fine lines and wrinkles, plus the full size price is $98.  I don’t know about you, but expensive skin care gives me hope.  Certainly they wouldn’t price their stuff that high if it doesn’t perform miracles?  Isn’t that like risking a lawsuit or something?  I mean, if I’m paying almost a $100 for an eye cream, I’d be a little pissy if it doesn’t replace my old, crepey eyes for the eyes of a 14-year-old.  As soon as I start using it, I’ll let you know how it goes.  The last SkinMedica product I tried was a pretty good one, so my expectations are high. Bring it.

2.  Nuxe Clarifying Cream Mask – I love trying new masks as you may know (or should know, if you read this blog like a proper human).  I read the benefits on the website, and it says it will clarify skin and refine pores.  I don’t really know what clarifying skin means, but anything that mentions pores, I’m all over.  I just want porcelain skin – is that too much to ask?  How did I even manage to get cavern-like pores, anyway?  I’ve behaved virtually all of my 40 years.  I mean, I didn’t wear sunscreen or wash my face for about 38 of them, but certainly that has nothing to do with it.  In any case, I’ll report back in a future empties post.  I’m trying not to open products until I’m ready to use them, or else I’ll end up speed-using something expensive within a 10-day period before it automatically turns to poison (i.e., expiration date)(i.e., as discussed in this post).

But why revel too much in product that I care about when I can complain some more?  Cuz while the Jane Iredale Eye Gloss is a really pretty color (called Aqua Silk), it is a cream and I do not love.  We’ve discussed this.  However, I gave it a go in an effort to be fair.  Yes, it’s very vivid.  Blends pretty good.  Sheers out well in case you do not want bright turquoise eyelids (I mean, who does?).  But it’s just not my thing.  It could be YOUR thing, though; that’s why I’m writing this blog.  They have a nice little selection of colors if you are so inclined.  I topped the turquoise with a gold shimmer and it made for a really sparkly, pretty look – gold, primarily but with a hint of turquoise peeking through.  So even I can create a masterpiece out of something that is not my favorite.  Obviously, I am a PROFESSIONAL.

And I’m not saying I dislike the Lauren B. Beauty hand cream I got, but, I mean it’s hand cream. Not really anything that’s knocking my socks off or anything. Although it says right on the tube it has antioxidants and retinol in it, and I’m assuming lotion doesn’t do that normally. So I may not necessarily enjoy applying the hand cream, but at some point it might make my wrinkly knuckle skin go away. It probably won’t, but wouldn’t that be nice. And a miracle. Also, I feel it is my responsibility to mention this lotion sank into my hands almost immediately. If you’re gonna be a lotion, might as well be a good one.

Last item in the box is the Miracle Skin Transformer Spotlight, a nice little BB cream full of sparkles and glitter. That’s not a typo. Who is this made for exactly? Twelve year olds? I can’t think of one 40 year old who enjoys a good shimmery BB cream. Well, perhaps I can, but there’s a high possibility they may be drag queens.

In any case, the coverage is pretty sheer although it does even the tone a bit. I own the regular BB cream (or Skin Enhancer, as they prefer to be called), and it’s one of my favorites. So I’m not sad in the least I’m giving the Spotlight away – I already own the best version; no reason to pout.

However, to be clear, the sparkles in the Spotlight aren’t super apparent unless you are in direct sunlight. So if you insist on using this product, make sure you are A) in 7th grade or B) enjoy indoor activities. This is my professional opinion, i.e., 100% accurate and NOT WRONG.

Okay, the end. More boxes to review and hauls forthcoming. Serious, you will love, so come back soon.

Oct27

Birchbox | October 2014

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As you can see by the lack of posts over the weekend that I was unable to get out of the social time I was forced into by my husband.  I’m sorry, I just like pajamas.  If I’m required to wear actual clothes, chances are I’m hating every bit of whatever I’m doing.  Unless I’m at Sephora.  Or Ulta.  Or Starbucks.  But after all that, definitely not happy.

Here’s my Birchbox:

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Ehhhhh.  Did you just take a nap?  Cuz I did.

Okay, that’s not fair.  I got two good things and one okay thing.  In the beauty box world, they call that success, don’t they?  I mean, it’s hard to cater to everyone without irritating at least a few.  I try to remember that, aside from being only $10 (which I can easily waste by idling my car with the heater on in the employee parking lot during my lunch hour), it’s hard to please 100% of the people 100% of the time.

Let’s do the poo-poos first.  The Mally High Shine Liquid Lipstick.  You’d think I’d love something like this.  But then you would be wrong.  For something to call itself lipstick, it sure is sheer.  I own three of them now (not on purpose), and every single one of them is yes, shiny, but no, not a lipstick.  Unless you like barely there color, or if you prefer something closer to lipgloss, then my advice is to pass.  However, the formula isn’t sticky, so if I can say one nice thing, that’d be it.

Next poo is the Tocca perfume in the Florence scent.  Nothing wrong with this if you like to own perfume.  But if you’ve been reading my blog since the beginning of time (or roughly, December 2013) then you’d know how much I don’t like perfume.  So seeing this in my box is never a welcomed sight.  But for those who need to know, here are the notes:  (top) bergamot, grapefruit leaves, green apple, pear; (middle) gardenia, violet; and (bottom) blonde wood, white musk.  Seeing all that written out like that, it certainly sounds like something I’d enjoy smelling.  And it doesn’t smell bad by any means.  But I’m just gonna move on now cuz I’m boring myself to sleep.  And this post ain’t even halfway done yet.

Things are starting to get a little better at this point.  Received a little jar of the Suki exfoliating cleanser.  This stuff smells very much like furniture polish, but then again, lemon-scented things tend to do that to me.  I used it last night, and I liked how well it applied.  The scrubby bits weren’t too harsh feeling.  You add a little water to your face, and things start to foam up a bit.  But my favorite part was wiping it away.  It didn’t leave scrubby bit residue like some of the other exfoliators I’ve used.  I don’t know if it was my lucky day or what, but usually I end up wiping these off my face for awhile, even after applying moisturizer.  I’m not sure I love it enough to buy a full-size, but I will enjoy what I have while I have it.

Now we gonna end on a couple of high notes.  I got a serum.  Most specifically, the Paula’s Choice Skin Recovery Super Antioxidant Concentrate serum.  I’ve tried another of Paula Choice’s serums, and it was so nice (texturally).  I’m excited to get to try another one.  This one is labeled for dry or very dry skin.  I have dry areas in the dead of winter, so I’m gonna have to wait before using.  But that’s okay.  I only have about 27 other serums to work my way through first.

Last but not least, and quite possibly the most exciting thing ever, is the Jouer Matte Moisture Tint.  I have been wanting Birchbox to send me something from Jouer for over a year and finally, finally, my dream has been realized.  Don’t even ask why I’ve been so excited.  It’s all part of my plan to own all the things which doesn’t make any sense to most people.  I just needed something from Jouer.  I didn’t even really care what it was.  Is that stupid?  Probably.

But this moisture tint is like a BB cream I guess.  It’s moussey, has a decent amount of coverage, blends easily.  Only comes in six shades, so I hope to God it self-adjusts.  They sent me the Nude shade which is for light to medium skin.  It was a decent match, so maybe it does color correct itself.  The finish is definitely matte.  I liked it.  I thought my face looks pretty evenly toned except for some hideous discoloration on my cheek that will never die.  The sample tube they sent was pretty small, so I don’t expect to use this for very long.  But by that time, my curiousity about Jouer will have been sated and I can move on to other things.  I can’t say quite yet if I care enough to pay full price.  Have you seen my other 39 bottles of foundation?  It’s quite a glorious collection if I do say so.  They are my little foundation children and I love them all.

But what I’m saying is I don’t need another foundation.

Alright, I’m done now.  I’ve got a very big evening planned full of pajamas and what not.  See you again tomorrow!  Bye.

 

Oct24

Ipsy | October 2014

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Hi gang.  It’s Friday and hubby and I are headed to Little Rock for the weekend.  I swear, I have never been so on-the-go in all my life.  I’m like a little world traveler, what with Vegas a couple weeks ago; Springfield, Missouri last weekend; and now Little Rock.  I’m no mathemetician, but I’m pretty sure that’s three separate times I’ve packed and unpacked my suitcase.

Before I go, here’s my Ipsy:

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Well, the teal bag is cute.

Alright, so it’s not the worst box I’ve ever gotten.  But out of everything, I kind of only mediocrely like about half.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think those are very good odds.  I’m probably wrong.  I’m sure in Vegas, 50/50 is a no brainer.  But I just have terrible luck.

So let’s get started then.  First thing is an exfoliating cleanser by Epice.  I don’t use exfoliators very often, even though I know I should.  It’s just, I take baths and after exfoliating I spend the rest of my time sitting on the microbeads that have sank to the bottom of the tub.  It does not feel pleasant.  However, nothing makes my face feel as smooth quite like a good exfoliation treatment.  Roughly twice a month I’ll get in there and suffer for it as I know it’s a necessary evil.

I have not used this yet, just so you know.  Reading the description, it says it will activate collagen production, and collagen is the thing that holds your face together.  In other words, this is most likely a medical necessity.  If I feel like spending $32 on the full-size, it should probably be tax deductible.

Received a cream highlighter by Doll 10 Beauty, a company I have never heard of.  That is the joy of beauty boxes, getting to try out products from new-to-you companies.  So even though I’m not a huge fan of cream highlighters, it was still cool giving it a go anyway.  The color I got was this very light pearl.  And swatching it, I was like woah, pretty.  It truly was pearly, unlike any other highlighter I’ve owned.  So it has that going for it.  The instructions say to pat it on your skin, not blend it.  If you have to blend it, then you’ve applied too much.  You literally tap it where you want it then leave it alone.  It’s a no frills highlighter for lazy people (like me!), and now I’m totally fine with it.

Got my one millionth mineral eyeshadow from MicaBeauty.  It seems some box is always sending me one of these.  Too bad I don’t like loose eyeshadow even though they sent me a pretty olive green shade.  I dunno.  Do people even use loose eyeshadows?  What is the benefit?  If someone out there has any words of wisdom, please share.  At this point, they are just a mess waiting to happen for me.  Regifted! Nexxxxxxt.

Y’all know how much I love adorable packaging.  This Figs & Rouge hand cream is definitely that.  I probably would have bought it all on my own if someone would have been clever enough to sit a display of it right next to the credit card swiper.  I’ll admit to buying hoards of unnecessary products because they were in close proximity.  Like toe rings or unscented chapstick (borrrrring).  And if your packaging is cute, well that makes it even worse.  This particular hand cream says it is Mango Mandarin scented, but unless that combo smells like a tube of Lil Smarties, then I believe they got the smell wrong.  However, it still smells pretty good, the lotion is nice and cool, and then it sinks in pretty much immediately so you can go about your business without sticky lotion hands.  I approve.  Put it in your basket.

Last item is the one that I thought I would like the best.  It’s a Starlooks lipgloss in the shade Guilty Pleasure.  I have nothing against a rosy pink shade, but this one did not show up well on my lips, FOR ONE.  For two, it was sticky and gross.  Just did not like.  As in, no thank you.  Otherwise known as ewwwww.  Aka, simply NO.

But you might like it so go ahead.

That’s it loverlies.  I’m leaving town now.  If I can sneak out of whatever party my husband has conned me into going to, I might be able to jump back in for another post over the weekend.  However, he’s already informed me that that is RUDE and highly looked down upon.  Pfffft.

Oct20

Sample Society | October 2014

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My daughter has turned 21 today, and I’ve got my alcohol speech all ready to go.  I’m only a very slightly annoying mom.  All other times, I’m plain adorable.

Here’s my Sample Society:

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If this box made your face go like this:  -__-

Then we are twins.  There are two things in here that excite me, but all the rest puts me right to sleep.  We were on such a roll there for awhile though, weren’t we?  Just couldn’t maintain the momentum, I guess.  Like everything else in life I suppose.  I mean how quickly were you over shaving your legs as soon as you were finally allowed to?  You know what I’m saying.  About two weeks.

Okay, let’s review.  The first poo is the L’Oreal Total Repair Extreme reconstructing shampoo and conditioner.  If I can say one nice thing, I will mention the fact I got a matching set.  It’s very annoying to get one half of the duo because what am I supposed to do with that?  So because I got both things, I will use this at some point in the future.  It’s for extremely damaged hair, which I don’t have, although I do flatiron it and you know that can’t be good.  Especially because my ends are so fine and delicate.  And they are easily irritated and tend to look like the dirty end of a broom even though I goop them up with conditioner every time I wash.  Having said all that, I will let you know how this one fares.  If a miracle happens upon my head, believe me you will be the first to know.

One thing I was super happy to receive is the Bobbi Brown Smokey Eye mascara.  If you haven’t gathered from the past 132 posts, I have a mascara addiction.  Any opportunity to try out a new one, I’m first in line.  I’ve been known to buy random, unnecessary things from Sephora.com just so I can qualify for the free mascara sample.  Cuz free is still free, even if you have to spend $25 to get it.

So this is a pretty nice mascara.  It builds decent volume.  Length is acceptable.  Brush isn’t too big.  I wasn’t like stopped in my tracks or anything – believe me, that has happened – but I wasn’t disappointed either (which has also happened – a lot).  But most importantly, it was FREE, so even if it stinks it’s still pretty good.

Why keep a happy moment going when we can ruin it all to hell with just  a few short words?  Along the lines of “Bond No. 9 High Line perfume” or thereabouts.  If you like the smell of bergamot, tulip, purple love grass, indian rhubarb, sea moss and musk, then you should buy this.  Although I’m pretty sure three of those things aren’t actual things.  Purple love grass especially.  If this truly exists, then I want a whole front yard full of it.  Anyway, y’all know perfume isn’t my thing, so this stuff could literally smell like little cucumber sandwiches in a garden full of exotic potted plants while drinking tea with the Queen of England, and I would still have to pass.  I may never get my Ladyship for saying that, but I’m just gonna have to take that chance.

Then I got a packet of the Emi Jay hair ties.  Not a beauty item, but a useful item at any rate.  I have several of these hair ties, and I do like them.  They don’t crimp your hair as much as elastic ties do.  And if you have thicker hair than me, they probably don’t crimp your hair at all.  Ummm … what else can I say about these?  Turns out, not much.  Moving on.

Let’s end of a high note, shall we?  Received the Estee Lauder Dark Spot Correcting night serum.  The fact it is a serum, it gets instant points.  The fact it is dark spot correcting, it gets bonus points.  I have a hideously splotchy complexion and anything that can make it less splotchy, and therefore less hideous, I’m all over.  Looking forward to giving this a try.

Well, gang, that’s it for today.  Got lots of birthday partying to get done, what with witnessing my daughter take her first drink of legal alcohol and then taking it away from her for the rest of the night and rest of her life.  Completely normal behavior on my part, I know.