Don’t you just love it when you frequent a business so much they actually recognize you when you come into the store? If Sephora was a Starbucks, they’d have my Tall Raspberry Mocha Non-Fat No-Whip all lined up and ready to go. As a matter of fact, I go in so often they might as well go ahead and get me the Starbucks. You know, really drive that customer service thing to home plate.
Got my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:
My face hurts from so much frowning. Uhhhhnnnn.
I’m on the verge of canceling this box, I think. I just haven’t been very impressed, or else the impressive boxes are few and far between. I feel very grown up and responsible for saying this cuz y’all know how much I love my monthly Christmas surprises. So as soon as I find another box to replace this box, I’ll let this box go. Might’ve negated my grown up and responsible comment, but I’m not a superhuman.
Let’s start with the Julien Farel Hydrate Restore hair shampoo thing. I’d already gotten a similar Julien Farel product in a previous Blush box, so imagine my excitement in getting another one. (There isn’t any.) This go round, however, they sent the one for fine hair, which I have. Fiiiiiine. I will accept.
Instructions are just like last time where you apply directly to dry hair then add a little water to make a cream. Massage then rinse. Seems easy, except it’s not. I have really long hair and putting this on it dry is a nightmare. Like, it never feels even; there’s dry hair patches everywhere. If you wanna kick your OCD into high gear, I highly recommend.
And then naturally after all that flashy production, I ended up with very dirty, greasy hair and had to rewash it with regular shampoo. Julien Farel himself told me I used too much. Welllll, you need to put precise measurements on your bottle then. You can’t just tell me to cook fish til it flakes easily with a fork cuz that isn’t a real cooking term. My fellow Virgos are all nodding their heads, I just feel it.
Next product is the Nick Chavez Prickly Pear Restoring Mist. If I cared enough about hair products, maybe I would be excited for this. But my hair routine is hardly an event. I like to put in a leave-in conditioner, maybe a cream to control the frizzies, but other than that, I’m pretty low-maintenance (on the hair front, that is). However, because I have it and technically I paid for it, I’m using it. Directions say after shampooing and conditioning, spray onto damp hair on ends and comb through. Does this sentence confuse anyone else? Should there be a comma in there somewhere? Are they saying to spray on damp hair AND on the ends, or just spray on your damp ends? Oh my gawd, my OCD can’t take it. Forget it; I hate this product.
And then Blush decides to go over the top with their fabulousness and send me a repeat item that I just received barely a few months ago. It’s the Laura Geller Cool Lids cream eyeshadow in Silver Sands. Uhhhhh, delete. They could’ve at least sent a different color if they were determined to mail this thing out again. However, I didn’t use the first one so a second one in a different color wouldn’t have mattered one bit. I’m feeling slightly asshole-ish, so here’s a couple things I actually care about:
1. SkinMedica TNS Eye Repair – I never hate an eye cream, or at least the receiving of an eye cream. This one says it improves smoothness and hydration, fine lines and wrinkles, plus the full size price is $98. I don’t know about you, but expensive skin care gives me hope. Certainly they wouldn’t price their stuff that high if it doesn’t perform miracles? Isn’t that like risking a lawsuit or something? I mean, if I’m paying almost a $100 for an eye cream, I’d be a little pissy if it doesn’t replace my old, crepey eyes for the eyes of a 14-year-old. As soon as I start using it, I’ll let you know how it goes. The last SkinMedica product I tried was a pretty good one, so my expectations are high. Bring it.
2. Nuxe Clarifying Cream Mask – I love trying new masks as you may know (or should know, if you read this blog like a proper human). I read the benefits on the website, and it says it will clarify skin and refine pores. I don’t really know what clarifying skin means, but anything that mentions pores, I’m all over. I just want porcelain skin – is that too much to ask? How did I even manage to get cavern-like pores, anyway? I’ve behaved virtually all of my 40 years. I mean, I didn’t wear sunscreen or wash my face for about 38 of them, but certainly that has nothing to do with it. In any case, I’ll report back in a future empties post. I’m trying not to open products until I’m ready to use them, or else I’ll end up speed-using something expensive within a 10-day period before it automatically turns to poison (i.e., expiration date)(i.e., as discussed in this post).
But why revel too much in product that I care about when I can complain some more? Cuz while the Jane Iredale Eye Gloss is a really pretty color (called Aqua Silk), it is a cream and I do not love. We’ve discussed this. However, I gave it a go in an effort to be fair. Yes, it’s very vivid. Blends pretty good. Sheers out well in case you do not want bright turquoise eyelids (I mean, who does?). But it’s just not my thing. It could be YOUR thing, though; that’s why I’m writing this blog. They have a nice little selection of colors if you are so inclined. I topped the turquoise with a gold shimmer and it made for a really sparkly, pretty look – gold, primarily but with a hint of turquoise peeking through. So even I can create a masterpiece out of something that is not my favorite. Obviously, I am a PROFESSIONAL.
And I’m not saying I dislike the Lauren B. Beauty hand cream I got, but, I mean it’s hand cream. Not really anything that’s knocking my socks off or anything. Although it says right on the tube it has antioxidants and retinol in it, and I’m assuming lotion doesn’t do that normally. So I may not necessarily enjoy applying the hand cream, but at some point it might make my wrinkly knuckle skin go away. It probably won’t, but wouldn’t that be nice. And a miracle. Also, I feel it is my responsibility to mention this lotion sank into my hands almost immediately. If you’re gonna be a lotion, might as well be a good one.
Last item in the box is the Miracle Skin Transformer Spotlight, a nice little BB cream full of sparkles and glitter. That’s not a typo. Who is this made for exactly? Twelve year olds? I can’t think of one 40 year old who enjoys a good shimmery BB cream. Well, perhaps I can, but there’s a high possibility they may be drag queens.
In any case, the coverage is pretty sheer although it does even the tone a bit. I own the regular BB cream (or Skin Enhancer, as they prefer to be called), and it’s one of my favorites. So I’m not sad in the least I’m giving the Spotlight away – I already own the best version; no reason to pout.
However, to be clear, the sparkles in the Spotlight aren’t super apparent unless you are in direct sunlight. So if you insist on using this product, make sure you are A) in 7th grade or B) enjoy indoor activities. This is my professional opinion, i.e., 100% accurate and NOT WRONG.
Okay, the end. More boxes to review and hauls forthcoming. Serious, you will love, so come back soon.