Jan7

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | January 2014

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Have I mentioned before that I subscribe to a bunch of monthly beauty boxes? Yeahhh, I get a few. And by few, I mean 9. Told you I can obsess on a hobby like it’s my damn job.

It’s like Christmas every time one comes in the mail. I have no idea what’s in it, and the surprise is the most exciting of all. I also love to hold up all my samples and make my husband ooh and aah along with me. He refuses because he is the least amount of fun whatsoever. If it’s not sports, it’s unimportant. I say boo.

And yawn.

But back to my point. It’s January and therefore a new batch of boxes are headed my way. First up is the Blush Mystery Beauty Box.

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This box is normally my favorite, but this one is just so so. Once I start using it I’ll know if it truly sucks, but honestly … if you look close you can see they included a bottle of bowel health drops. I’m sorry, wha…? That is so super weird. Plus, it arrived partially frozen so I’m pretty sure I can’t use it anyway. Fail.

Other offerings are a Klorane leave-in hair cream. I’m not opposed to this. I kinda like it. Smells good, and if it can make my spidery hair ends look like silken royal baby swaddling, then I’m hooked.

Next up is the tiniest Jane Iredale lipstick sample I’ve ever seen. Isn’t it precious? It’s in a color called Tokyo, and it looks decent. It’s also a lip plumper. We shall see about that. I haven’t found one claim of that come true with anything. Unless you are talking about cupcakes. And my hips. That works about 100.8473829% of the time.

I love getting skincare in boxes. I’m addicted to skincare stuff in a bad and expensive way. This Wake Up Call facial treatment by Goldfaden MD says it is an overnight miracle and that I will wake up with a gorgeous complexion.

Well, they’ve got my attention, I’ll tell you that much.

Also got a nice full-size tube of Glytone eye cream. Swears to beejebus it will soften fine lines and wrinkles. Again, we shall see. I’m obsessive about staring at my fine lines and wrinkles. If one gets softened, I’ll be the first to know. And then take a bath in that stuff like stat.

Last thing in the box is an As Seen on TV! product called the Le Edge. It is a bladeless exfoliator that gets rid of dead skin off your body. I used it on my feet in the bathtub this evening, and it did work on my pinky toe calluses (wearing heels has a price y’all), so I’m gonna use it on my legs next time. I’ll report back if I notice anything spectacular as a result.

As always, Blush includes some free samples in the box. Sometimes they are nice, deluxe samples and other times (like this time) you get a one time use packet. I do not like packets. They are so obnoxious and virtually not worth the time it took to almost break a nail trying to open. However, I hate to make waste so I will use the Cetaphil body cleanser and lotion like a good girl.

And of you’re interested, that digestive health thingy is from Harmonized H2O and apparently it fixes your skin as well as your digestion. So it may be worth a try. As long as it didn’t turn to poison in its frozen state. I’m emailing them to be sure. Because I’m a dork. With hypochondria. But also adorable. Let’s not forget.

Hey, this was an extremely long post. If you’re still here at the bottom, here’s a virtual hug just for you. I appreciate your support in my rambling. Nighty night.

Jan4

Evil with a Bow – (A Benefit Cosmetics Review)

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ImageWell, Merry Christmas to me.

First, let’s back up. This isn’t your queen snack bee, but her twenty-something, makeup enthused, sister. A snackette if you will? Poking my head in to deliver a “guest post”, or in layman’s terms, offer up a few thoughts, but that doesn’t sound near as cool. Now that that’s cleared up, let’s dive in… Just be sure to keep your purse nearby and your best shoppin’ boots because these products are a NEED. Immediately.

Di and I exchanged belated Christmas gifts last weekend. Much to no ones surprise, Ulta gift cards and beauty goodies were received. Now, I have a few “high-end”, uber trendy, makeup items that can be found on the “good” side of Ulta. Ya know what I’m talkin’ about? Not your Revlon Lip Butter side (which is awesome, by the way), but the side that holds palettes of $50 eye colors in all the “best” shades and foundation primers we didn’t even know we needed. So, when my sister unveiled this little gem I was excited to try, but nothing really screamed out. I mean, how exciting could face primer be and a bronzer that had no luster? Thanks, but no thanks.

There it sat on my kitchen table for a couple days. Too busy to really play around with the new products. I work in the casino biz and my mornings are usually tight thanks to needing my running fix and scrambled egg whites. Finally, I peeked into said box and decided to try the That Gal face primer and Hoola bronzer.

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Never having used a primer before, I didn’t know what to expect. My face tends to hold a lot of oil, so I digress from extra goop on the ol’ epidermis. The cream is a pale pink color, similar to calamine lotion, and glides on your face like a dream. After applying my tried and true, Estee Lauder Double Wear foundation, and applying its matching powder and bronzer (I’m Estee loyal), my skin revealed a beautiful matte look. Smooth, soft, creamy and distinctly different from my pre-primer days. Never again. Take my word, Benefit knows what they’re doing.

Now, I’ve always been a bronzer gal. The more shimmery the better, or so I thought. I’ve been fairly loyal to Estee Lauder’s bronzer, Bronze Goddess, it’s full of shine, and that fresh June-beach look. So when I took a look at Hoola, only a dark, dewy brown, looked back at me. Um, what? Looks like I’m going to dust clay on my face. How is this supposed to work?

However, I put my trust in this “Hoola” and gave it a go. Umm, glitter is not the answer people. And don’t judge a bronzer by it’s cover. It gave the most natural look. Never orange-y, and the lack of shimmer gave the appearance of true sun-kissed skin that was flawless and tan. I feel like I’ve lost years of quality-bronzing time. Shit. How could I have been so naive? This is a MUST try. Promise. I’ll even bet you my jogging time  and egg whites on it.

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Now, in full disclosure, I’ve only tried these two products in the kit so far. And we are 2 for 2 on purchasing their full size versions. My purse can’t take too much too fast, but that’s what the plastic is for, right? That is so wrong and so right in the beauty world. I’ll be sure to report back as I try more.

For now – get yourself some primer, throw away those shimmering bronzers and stock your snack drawer. Di and I have lots coming your way…

Keep it simple.

KB

Jan1

Smartlash Eyelash Enhancer

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I’m not sure which hooligan was in charge of handing out the long, luxurious eyelashes but lemme tell you what: I am not impressed.

Serious, I have been not-so-blessed with some super itty bitty lashes. They are straight, tiny little things that barely improve with mascara. It’s a travesty to the 100th power.

So tragic. So sad.

A couple months ago, one of my beauty boxes sent me a tube of eyelash growth serum by Smartlash:

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Could this be it, the start of my movie star transformation? It promises to make a noticeable difference in a mere 28 days. That’s not unbearable; I can totally wait 28 days. Hell, it’s only been 39 years, what’s 28 more days amiright?!

I have diligently without fail applied Smartlash to the T, twice a day sweeping it along the roots of my lashes like a good girl should. I have been more faithful to Smartlash than any diet I’ve ever been on where someone has sat beside me eating a chocolate cake with extra loud food noises and lip licking. Serious, don’t do that; I will bite you.

I’ve digressed.

It’s now been almost 2 months since I’ve started my regimen, and thought perhaps it was time for a little before and after. I had taken my before picture the night I started, and to make it super scientific and official, I took my after picture in the same bathroom at the same time of day in the same position in the same spot.

And out popped this piece of crap:

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What the sam holy hell is that?! Where is my dramatic reveal? I’m not even kidding, where is it?!

Top is before, bottom is after. But it doesn’t make a dadgum bit of difference because it’s practically the same effing picture. Boo. Hiss. I’ve wasted almost 2 months of my life applying this quote-unquote serum, and I have nothing to show for it. I no likey one bit.

So I am still suffering the Plight of the Short-Lashed People. Where I buy Japanese eyelash curlers because I was told they were my only option (it does help; Shu Uemura if you’re curious). Where I spend an exorbitant amount of money on mascara full of promises and money-back guarantees. Where I stare longingly at everybody else’s eyebrow-touching eyelashes with only a smidge of Creepy Creeperton.

However, I have not given up. I will find a solution to this problem. I will permanently adhere falsies if I have to. I am determined, I am steadfast, I am pressing forward the only way I know how.

With pit stops at Ulta and Starbucks of course.

Dec28

Buying Stuff: Episode 2

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Well crap. This is always happening to me:

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I ain’t gonna lie. Buying stuff is fun. Buying stuff with gift cards is even better. But you know as well as I know that you cannot, under any means whatsoever, spend strictly what’s on a gift card and then walk away. I am not Superwoman. I do not have magic powers. I am helpless as a baby lamb among shiny packages.

In other words, I spent too much money today.

It started out alright. I had a snafu with an eBay purchase yesterday where I ordered a Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner that turned out to be 5+ years old (um, eww) so I needed to get a new gel liner like pronto. Trusty YouTube, my evil special friend, told me Maybelline had a good product so I picked up a jar for $10. Also had a $5 off coupon for it, so things are going really well at this point.

Then I walked to the other side of Ulta, the high-end area where dreams are made of. Dammmmmit. Why is everything so pretty? I’m about 98.63848% certain I own everything already, but I somehow managed to find a few new things. You know, the status quo.

First thing I picked up was the Stila In the Garden palette. I’ve seen this here every time I come in so why now of all times do I suddenly feel I need it? I just made a decision and went with it. Which always turns out to be a very expensive decision. My decision-making skills need some assistance.

But look how pretty:

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It just looks like spring. And anything that reminds me of spring, sunshine, warmth and happiness … well, that’s my jam.

Then I walk past the clearance table, and if you are able to walk the opposite direction from a clearance table you need to take your show on the road because that right there is inspirational. However, I am simply human so I stop for about 2 hours.

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This Too Faced Joy to the Girls kit was all the rage this Christmas and I almost bought it 15 separate times. But I have been rewarded by my steadfastness by saving $10.

And of course on the way out the door I passed the Smashbox display where they had one Must-Have Metallics Rose Gold kit left. Having one left of anything creates a moment of panic in me, so naturally I had to buy it before it went extinct.

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So precious. I actually wore this entire kit today and it turned out lovely. Rose gold. That’s all I need to say about that.

By the grace of God, I was able to leave Ulta without buying anything else. Although I had a Tarte foundation and a Bare Minerals highlighter in my bag at one point. I do try very hard to be frugal to some level so this very act of putting products back on the shelf is a miracle to the nth degree. The fact that I will regret is mightily and daydream about them incessantly is besides the point.

Like I said, I’m only human.

Dec27

Batiste Dry Shampoo

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I’ll go ahead and say it: I HATE washing my hair. No, I take that back, I hate DRYING my hair. It seriously takes light years. My hair is so long and bountiful (sounds nice; it’s not), that I practically need a little chaise lounge and snacks in order to endure it properly.  And because of the depth of this hatred, I can only manage to wash my hair about twice a week.

What? I know, my husband gives me that look too.  But honestly, I just can’t be bothered.  I have more important things to do than spend eons in the bathroom, standing on my feet, bent in half with my hair flipped upside down.  Makes all things tired.

And thankfully, there’s dry shampoo.  It was invented for this exact scenario.  Almost 97.94767% certain.

I’ve tried a lot of dry shampoos.  Some cheapies, some salon kinds, some middle-of-the-roads.  All in search of the one brand that will stand the test of time, i.e., degreasing my 3-day hair.  I kind of gave up a little bit, relinquished to the fact that there just isn’t a dry shampoo that’s meant to tackle my boundary-pushing.  It’s made for girls who shampoo every other day, not for girls who spend the majority of the week with a dirty head.

Until I came across this pair of lovelies:

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I’m not even kidding when I say Batiste Dry Shampoo has been a godsend in my life.  I’ve even done a 4-day hair stint one time and felt totally fine with it.  Oh yes, Batiste and I shared a dirty little secret.  Nobody ever knew a thing.

The formula is perfect.  It has plenty of that white powdered goodness that soaks up the oil off your scalp like a champ.  And it doesn’t lose any powder towards the end of the can either.  So many times, I’ve been mindlessly enjoying a dry shampoo only to have it blow plain air into my hair about 2/3 of the way through.  Booo.  No likey.

Batiste comes in a variety of scents.  I’ve only tried Paisley and Cherry; both are great.  Can’t speak for the other scents, but I imagine they wouldn’t be any different other than the smell.  At some point I will try them all, maybe report back to you (but probably not – we would’ve moved on by then).  What I’m trying to say is, I’m done shopping for dry shampoo.  I’ve finally found my greasy-headed savior, and this makes me the happiest of happy.

Now if only someone would invent a hair dryer that would go mach 30 and/or speed of light.  I’d be over that like stat.

Dec26

Buying Stuff: Episode 1

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Lord help me.

I know I have a problem.  I know it like I know I’m female.  It’s just in me.  I have a highly susceptible to obessioning kind of personality.  I can latch onto a hobby like nobody’s business.  I’ve done it before to a billion different things.  I’ve bought every book, every crochet hook, scrapbook embellishment, kitchen gadget, puzzle book, every high heeled shoe known to man.  The obsessions come in waves.  I will be addicted to one thing at a time and go balls to the wall, full-force, credit card begging for mercy.  Then the obsession eventually releases its grasp on me and I am set free.

Needless to say, I am in the midst of my Beauty Obsession and I am looooooving it.  So much in fact it gets capital letters.

Sadly, however, I can’t be addicted to drugstore beauty products.  Oh no, I can’t have a drawer full of Maybelline or Neutrogena.  That’s not any fun at all!  I must watch a crazy amount of YouTube, pay heed to all my beauty gurus, and buy every last one of those dadgum high-end products they rave about.  And I must take blankie and canteen to my local Ulta and camp out, as it is quickly becoming my second home.

Pfft.

Let me back pedal for one second.  I do have my share of drugstore products.  It’s a small share, but I do enjoy NYX a lot and I have a couple of Flower eyeshadow quads that are cute as pie.  And my Cover Girl Lash Blast Clump Crusher mascara is so very ah-ma-zing, that I will repurchase as soon as I run out.  But  I’ve fallen victim, people!  The Lure of the High End has got me and won’t let go.  It’s a terribly expensive disease to placate, although I manage as much as I can.

Take this for instance.  Hautelook.  They are evil, but in a less damaging sort of way.  I’ve been a member (go on, it’s free!) for a little more than a month and I’ve placed 6 orders.  But they are heavily discounted orders, so that’s good right?  Last night, I bought a very popular concealer from Eve Pearl that normally retails for $39.  Scored it for $23, so that’s practically free in the grand scheme of things.  And I do love how Hautelook has things on sale for 3 or 4 days only – that makes the obsession more like a challenge, and who doesn’t love that?  Must buy it now or it will be gone forever.  Probably not, but probably will.  One never knows.

This morning I got an email from Beauty.com for a 70% off after-Christmas sale.  Excuse me?!  Yes, please.  What intrigued me was the Peter Thomas Roth stuff.  I’ve seen this brand in my Ulta, and it’s really kind of expensive – more so than my normal expensive.  I swear, my eyes glazed over when I saw their $85 anti-wrinkle solution on sale for $24.  I’m not even sure how they can do that, but why argue?  Just buy.  I also picked up their BB Blur beauty balm that has light-reflecting diamond dust in it.  What is diamond dust, you ask?  Dunno, but it has the word diamond in it, so I’m pretty sure by that fact alone, I need it.  And it was $19, so there’s that.

This won’t be the end of my obsession, I can promise you.  I feel as if I’m just getting started.  All I really want out of this journey is to look at least 10 years younger, and if I have to try every dadgum anti-wrinkle, anti-aging, moisturizing, blurring, radiating, cleansing, seruming, pore-filling, fine-line camouflaging product that’s ever been invented, so be it.  At least it’s cheaper than Botox.

Maybe.

Dec24

Adorn L’Age d’Or Nail Polish

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I’ll admit: I’m not a huge nail polish fan.  I mean, I paint my nails weekly but I never get super excited about it.  I don’t buy it for myself, or rather it’s very rare that I do.  Yes, even this surprises me because once I get obsessed about something (i.e., makeup, reading, scrapbooking, crocheting, shoes), I tend to go all out in an overly expensive, neurotic sort of way.  But nail polish is just one thing I can walk away from.

In other words, I do have restraint (albeit from things I couldn’t give two flips about, but still).

Last week, I received my subscription box from Petit Vour, a vegan, cruelty-free beauty box.  Inside was a lovely rose gold lipgloss and some face stuff.  Pretty successful thus far.  These are the types of items that make my credit card rebel in a maxxed out, oopsie sort of way.  Love love love.

But then there was also a bottle of nail polish.  I’m like blah, blah, blah, okay it’s nail polish.  My brain almost took a nap.  I lift it out of the box and give it a look.  It’s gold, it’s sparkly, it’s sort of festive and fun.  Fine. I suppose I’ll paint my nails with it just in time for Christmas.  Then I’ll put it away and use it again in about 3.75 years.

Sunday rolls around.  It’s spa day in the Setterfield household.  A day where I can lounge in my bathtub for nigh on ages, shampooing and shaving and moisturizing and mud masking til my heart’s content.  Finally, I sit down to tend to my  nails.  I open the bottle, take one little pass across my thumbnail, and …

OMG.  Behold:

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Is that not just the most beautiful gold color that ever lived?  Like, of all time?  (The answer is yes.)  I’m in lurve, people!  Like deep, meaningful, passionate love.  I’ve never felt this way about a nail polish before.  I’m shocked I’m even saying this, because normally a bottle of nail polish couldn’t turn my head even if I got paid for it.

Adorn Nails got it right.

As an added bonus, my left hand dried while I was painting my right hand.  Now that’s some crazy voodoo.  I don’t know what’s in the formula, but on that benefit alone, I’m a convert.  I tend to be super fidgety right after painting my nails.  Seriously, I can be the most comatose person when it comes to lounging about in my pajamas, couch-sitting and the like, but stick wet paint on my fingernails, and suddenly, I got things to do.

But back to my point.  I love this polish.  I love my nails wearing this polish.  I can’t wait to use it again and again.  Listen up, as I may never say this about another nail polish for the rest of my life:

I’ve found my holy grail.

I’m okay with that.

Dec22

Whish Orange Cream Body Butter

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I just love free stuff. Serious, it pretty much doesn’t even matter what it is. If you are free, I will love you. But don’t get too lax, because if you aren’t amazing or if you are boring, I lose interest like stat. (In other words, I won’t always love you.)

A few days ago I ordered a tube of luxury shaving cream and included in the box was this unsolicited sample of Whish Body Butter in the orange cream scent.

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I’m never one to get too excited about body butter. Seriously, I mean a tube of lotion can last me for a ginormous amount of years. I just don’t lotion as I probably should. However, I’m becoming more high maintenance as I near my 40s, so lately I’ve been making more of an effort. Anything to keep wrinkles and hideousness at bay, I will do you.

That didn’t sound quite right, but you understand.

Anyway. Back to the point.

This body butter is the most delicious thing that ever lived. It smells exactly like Hopscotch ice cream (remember that?), a mix of orange sherbet and vanilla. It is super dreamy and luscious. I would eat it if I didn’t know better.

I looked on the Whish website, but they don’t sell it. I found that odd, and I was quite distraught. You can get other scents like pomegranate, coconut, and blueberry – all good scents, but no orange cream. Further investigation revealed the orange may have been an exclusive Nordstrom product. But Nordstrom was sold out.

I’m panicking people! I don’t know why I need more if this orange cream body butter in my life. I just do. And we don’t argue with that kind of logic.

Thank you, tiny baby Jesus, for all your blessed miracles, particularly the one in which we call eBay. There are tons of people selling deluxe sample tubes of the orange cream scent on there. And yes, not one to ever do things in a realistic manner, I bought a pack of 10 tubes for $19.95 so I will have orange cream body butter to last until I’m 90.

Well?! It smells that good.

Dec21

Obligatory Welcome

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Hi everyone! Welcome to my first post. I am hoping this blog will not turn out like my last blog which was pretty active for a while, then I promptly disappeared for roughly 3 years. I will admit that life got in the way (as in, I got one). But now that things are settled (read: old married lady), maybe I can focus better and actually produce something more consistent.

We’ll see.

In any case, thanks for stopping by. Seeking my unsolicited beauty advice-slash-opinion. I figured since I subscribe to nigh on 8374628 beauty boxes and receive a crap ton of samples, and my OCD personality will simply not allow me not to try every single one of them, I might be able to impart a little wisdom to all my friends about what’s good, what’s bad, and what you can mediocrely tolerate.

Was that a run-on sentence? Well, you didn’t come in here for a lesson on perfect grammar, now did you?

So, with all that being said … Let’s get started!

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