Category Archives: Primers

Benefit POREfessional


I know y’all know what this is.  It’s only been talked about ten billion times by beauty gurus, magazines, experts and nobodies like me.  It’s a product that’s destined for cult classic status, if it’s not officially already there.  It’s a must have, a bestseller, probably an award-winner (or should be).

But for those who hang out under rocks, this is what I’m talking about:


Benefit’s POREfessional.  Otherwise known as Miracle in a Tube.  First of all, I’ve never bought a full size of this; I’m working on my second sample tube as we speak.  But once that’s gone, I am no doubt, 100% certain I am repurchasing.  How can I not?  It creates a magic-like situation upon my face, and without it I would be a facsimile of a sham of a person with a face.

Let me explain.

I have pores.  Massive, crater-y, sinkhole-y pores.  It is hideous.  I never really noticed them before, back when I hardly used makeup, and could barely manage a half-hearted swipe of powder that was probably 2 shades too light for me anyway.  But now that I stare at my face for at least an hour and 20 minutes every morning (don’t judge; it takes 30 minutes just to do eyeshadow), I’ve been noticing some unseemly incidents and I no likee.  Face skin like the texture of an orange rind.  That’s not even an exaggeration.  Sound lovely?  It is not.

So what does one do to rectify this situation?  Buy all the pore-shrinking, minimizing, blurring, filling, and/or scraping off products in existence.  Then have at it.  Turns out, not much helps.  Not in an instant gratification kind of way, which is the only way I like to do things.  Serious, if you can’t make me beautiful and perfect RIGHT THIS SECOND then I have no use for you.

Received a small tube of the POREfessional in one of the many sample kits I purchased at Ulta.  I’ve been told people apply it as a primer, so that was honestly my intention first time I used it.  The color was nude and quickly disappeared into my skin.  The texture was very silicone-y, like powder or velvet or something equally luxurious and soft.  But the pore-filling power was … eh.  I didn’t think it did much other than maybe some psychological brain trickery.  Sometimes I feel I want a product to work so badly that I almost convince myself it does.  The POREfessional was one of those products.

I stopped using it briefly and kept up my search for that Holy Grail.  Nothing seemed to help.  I was greeted every morning by my gaping pores, who I swear were laughing all the way to the bank.  My face, in return, looked like this:


Are you feeling sorry for me yet?

About a month ago, I was watching a You Tube video (as I am wont to do), and one of my gurus told me the secret to the POREfessional is to tap the product on your skin instead of smoothing it on like lotion.  Tapping it on will fill in the holes, as smoothing it on merely smears it around haphazardly.  And I do not have time for haphazard when I have a pore emergency, trust me.  So I thought I’d give the POREfessional one more try.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap … and lo and behold.  The clouds parted, the sun came out, and angels began to sing.  It worked.  I present to you, before and after:


Photo taken no more than 15 seconds apart, no filter, same lighting.  See?  Flat-out miracle.  That’s all I can say about that.

The whole point of my post is to teach  you what I’ve learned.  If you’ve been  having not so much success with the efficacy of the POREfessional, try the tapping thing.  It made a world of difference.  Granted, my pores do not disappear completely, but they are much less pronounced and manageable.  I can handle that.

Who’s laughing now?

Evil with a Bow – (A Benefit Cosmetics Review)


ImageWell, Merry Christmas to me.

First, let’s back up. This isn’t your queen snack bee, but her twenty-something, makeup enthused, sister. A snackette if you will? Poking my head in to deliver a “guest post”, or in layman’s terms, offer up a few thoughts, but that doesn’t sound near as cool. Now that that’s cleared up, let’s dive in… Just be sure to keep your purse nearby and your best shoppin’ boots because these products are a NEED. Immediately.

Di and I exchanged belated Christmas gifts last weekend. Much to no ones surprise, Ulta gift cards and beauty goodies were received. Now, I have a few “high-end”, uber trendy, makeup items that can be found on the “good” side of Ulta. Ya know what I’m talkin’ about? Not your Revlon Lip Butter side (which is awesome, by the way), but the side that holds palettes of $50 eye colors in all the “best” shades and foundation primers we didn’t even know we needed. So, when my sister unveiled this little gem I was excited to try, but nothing really screamed out. I mean, how exciting could face primer be and a bronzer that had no luster? Thanks, but no thanks.

There it sat on my kitchen table for a couple days. Too busy to really play around with the new products. I work in the casino biz and my mornings are usually tight thanks to needing my running fix and scrambled egg whites. Finally, I peeked into said box and decided to try the That Gal face primer and Hoola bronzer.


Never having used a primer before, I didn’t know what to expect. My face tends to hold a lot of oil, so I digress from extra goop on the ol’ epidermis. The cream is a pale pink color, similar to calamine lotion, and glides on your face like a dream. After applying my tried and true, Estee Lauder Double Wear foundation, and applying its matching powder and bronzer (I’m Estee loyal), my skin revealed a beautiful matte look. Smooth, soft, creamy and distinctly different from my pre-primer days. Never again. Take my word, Benefit knows what they’re doing.

Now, I’ve always been a bronzer gal. The more shimmery the better, or so I thought. I’ve been fairly loyal to Estee Lauder’s bronzer, Bronze Goddess, it’s full of shine, and that fresh June-beach look. So when I took a look at Hoola, only a dark, dewy brown, looked back at me. Um, what? Looks like I’m going to dust clay on my face. How is this supposed to work?

However, I put my trust in this “Hoola” and gave it a go. Umm, glitter is not the answer people. And don’t judge a bronzer by it’s cover. It gave the most natural look. Never orange-y, and the lack of shimmer gave the appearance of true sun-kissed skin that was flawless and tan. I feel like I’ve lost years of quality-bronzing time. Shit. How could I have been so naive? This is a MUST try. Promise. I’ll even bet you my jogging time  and egg whites on it.


Now, in full disclosure, I’ve only tried these two products in the kit so far. And we are 2 for 2 on purchasing their full size versions. My purse can’t take too much too fast, but that’s what the plastic is for, right? That is so wrong and so right in the beauty world. I’ll be sure to report back as I try more.

For now – get yourself some primer, throw away those shimmering bronzers and stock your snack drawer. Di and I have lots coming your way…

Keep it simple.