Dec22

Sample Society | December 2014

Posted on by
Standard

I’m feeling very far behind in life this month.  Maybe it’s because of Christmas and the fact I wait until the very last minute to accomplish anything.  Maybe it’s because the sun has hidden itself behind clouds for the 57th day in a row, and all I wanna do is hibernate.  But most likely it’s because I can procrastinate like someone is paying me to do it, and when there’s money involved I can and will do just about anything.

Except for blogging in a timely manner, obviously.  And prostitution.  But hopefully you knew that already.

Here’s my Sample Society:

image

Great box if I do say so.  One of their better ones actually.  There’s only one thing in here that’s useless to me (guess which), but everything else I’m excited about.

I have so many eye creams under my bathroom sink right now it’s not even funny.  Even so, I’m good with getting another one.  This Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair eye cream sounds like a keeper.  It claims to reduce every key visible sign of aging which sounds like a dream come true.  But most importantly, and because I am ridiculous, I’m especially excited that it dries to a soft, velvety finish.  Who wants sticky eye areas?  Not me.

Anyway, I think I’m going to put this one in the front of the line so I can get right to it after I finish the one I’m currently using.  Keep y’all posted like I always do.

The product I was most looking forward to trying was the Burberry Fresh Glow Luminous Fluid Base.  At first, I wasn’t sure what to do with it – is it foundation, a liquid highlighter, or one of those shimmery glitter things that teenagers wear to school dances?  Oh, the anxiety!  But it’s Burberry so technically it didn’t matter – I’d find a way to use it and love it and never let it go.  I did some proper research anyway and discovered that yes, it can be used as a liquid highlighter, and no, it is not foundation – unless a silver sheened face is the look you’re going for.  However, the best way to use this – and I can attest – is as a foundation booster.  I add a pea-size amount (dotted onto my face) alongside my foundation then blend together.  You get this lovely, radiant finish but in a subtle, something’s different about you way.  Naturally I bought the full size.  Primarily because it’s Burberry, but secondly because it’s beautiful.  I know, I have a problem.

Got a Crabtree & Evelyn hand therapy in the Verbena and Lavender scent.  This has the tendency to be boring as it’s just hand lotion, but it is something useful since I apply lotion just about everyday.  I’ve never owned anything from this brand, so of course I immediately wanted it.  It has a super nice texture – absorbs abnormally quick; no sticky lotion hands.  Smells very good. Kind of zesty and fresh. I might even go out on a limb and say as far as hand lotions go, this one might be the most un-boring I’ve ever tried. Are you buying this yet? You should be.

Received a Butter London Lippy tinted balm in the shade Teddy Boy.  This was kind of a fun thing to get.  It’s a lip balm that looks like a lipstick, medium coverage and very moisturizing.  The color I got was like a rose neutral and it shows up very well.  It’s creamy but not shiny; definitely not matte.  It’s very impressive color-wise for a lip balm.  In fact, you’d probably not even know it was a lip balm if you didn’t see it written right there on the tube.  Similar in texture to the NYX Butter Lipsticks, if you’ve tried those.  I recommend.  Go on.  Put it in your basket.

Last thing in the box was (you guessed correctly) the big poo.  It’s an RGB nail polish in the shade Oxblood.  Mine was broken and leaking in the box, so even if I wanted it I couldn’t have it.  But since I didn’t give two spits, I threw it in the trash and moved on with my life.  However, if anyone wants to know, the color is a deep Bordeaux red and RGB recommends two coats.

There ya have it.  The best blog post you’ve ever read.  Don’t worry; I’ll be back tomorrow with more fun stuff.

Dec15

Buying Stuff: Episode 23

Posted on by
Standard

Just 10 days until Christmas and only 1,457 presents left to buy.  Have I told you about the time I waited until the absolute very last minute (i.e., Christmas Eve) to buy gifts?  Or that I bought Easter basket trinkets at midnight on Easter where they were, surprisingly, not even discounted?  How about those birthday presents that tragically get “rerouted” during delivery end up arriving at my house roughly a week late?  I tend to procrastinate with things that stress me out.  However, advertise a makeup pre-order for something that’s not even available for 2 or 3 months, and I’ll get that done like yesterday.  Perhaps someone’s priorities are skewed?  I mean, not mine, but someone else’s?

In any case, I bought stuff:

IMG_5254.JPG

Your eyes are not playing tricks.  I bought the Gucci Lustrous Glow foundation y’all!  I was so curious about this product because there were only like two reviews of this YouTube.  I wasn’t even sure what color I was, and that quickly became my mission-slash-obsession in life.  Like, first find out my Gucci foundation shade, then solve world hunger.  I started with Light 030.  It seemed to be a touch too light, so I thought it would be safe to go up one notch to Light 040.  This one I held onto for about a week trying to decide if it matched.  It didn’t un-match necessarily but my face is naturally a little darker than my neck so it was hard to be sure.  I went ahead and ordered Light 050 so I could do a proper comparison.

You can imagine all the trouble and expense I’m going through at this point, yes?  I had charges for foundations before refunds were processed.  Thank God for Discover, that’s all I have to say about that.  Finally ended up settling on Light 050.  It had the least degree of washing out (if any).  I wouldn’t call it a perfect match – a skosh too yellow – but I’d make it work.  I mean, it’s Gucci.  You don’t return Gucci.  It’s in a rule book somewhere, I’m certain.

And was all the trouble worth it?  Welllll, it’s a decent foundation.  It had a nice natural finish to it.  Very slightly glowy on me; it wasn’t “lustrous” by any means.  The coverage was light to medium.  When foundations are light coverage, I tend to not like them as much because all my ugly bits show through.  So keep that in mind.  If you have a good complexion to start with, you’ll probably like this foundation more than me.  Best part is the lovely packaging.  If anything, you can buy this to sit on the back of your toilet for your house guests to admire.  A little pricey for bathroom décor, but did I mention it’s Gucci?

It was 3 o’clock in the morning when this happened:

IMG_5124.JPG

I really shouldn’t have internet access once my husband goes to bed.  Cuz I bought the May Lindstrom Honey Mud cleansing silk almost on autopilot.  However, it wasn’t alcohol-induced so points for that.

This stuff is advertised as a cleanser.  It’s made out of honey and clay and somehow manages to smell exactly like a Tootsie Roll.  The consistency is like a pudding before it sets up in the fridge.  I won’t lie; you want to eat it.  It feels super moisturizing and soft on the skin.  I can see this as a very luxurious spa treatment because it’s so elegant and lovely.  HOWEVER.  I was disappointed that it didn’t seem to clean my skin very well.  If you ask me, I’d consider it more as a pre-cleanser than a main cleanser.  For an $80 price tag, you should expect more.  Like pore gunk removal-slash-zit zapping-slash-magical powers.  They do give you the option to apply this as a mask instead, and I can see it working well in that capacity.

A side note: the honey used for this is collected from unsprayed/unfertilized fields of wildflowers in Michigan.  So now everything bad I just said went right out of your head didn’t it?  Yeah, mine too.

IMG_5205.JPG

I owned zero products by Tory Burch when I discovered they had a small amount of makeup on the Sephora website.  And because I’m in a constant state of needing to own all the things, I picked up this Bronzer and Blush.  Shade is called Divine, although that point is moot since it only comes in one shade.

First of all, the packaging will suck you in.  I love orange.  So warm, so summery.  Just looking at it will bring a smile to your face.  But the product itself isn’t that bad either.  I wouldn’t say you could use each section separately unless you use teeny tiny brushes.  Rather, just swirl your brush over all the shades combined.  You end up with a very pretty sunkissed glow on the cheeks.  I am much more happy with this purchase than originally expected.

If you’re looking to buy Tory Burch makeup, there isn’t a huge selection.  Sephora carries lipstick and a lip and cheek tint as well.  Hopefully there will be more forthcoming in the future as I am not opposed to buying something else.

Look – something pretty:

IMG_5103.JPG

Another instance of wanting to own all the things.  My first Kevyn Aucoin purchase, and I’d say it’s a pretty good one.   Hautelook was having a sale and the only eyeshadow duo left was the #201 Antique Silver/Plum Shimmer.  Turns out, that was the perfect duo for me.  The purple looks so stunning with my brown eyes.  And the silver isn’t like SILVER! but more Silver.  Well, I’m sure you know what I mean.

Blendability was excellent.  Pigmentation was excellent.  I can’t think of anything bad to say.  I want to buy all of them, so that could be bad.  For my wallet, anyway.

I bought this too:

IMG_5392.JPG

It’s the eyeshadow palette out of the Tarte Bon Voyage kit.  Why didn’t I show you the entire kit?  Cuz the only thing I wanted the kit for was so I could get this palette.  It is amazing.  Great selection of mattes and pretty shimmers.  Nothing super glittery.  Neutral but still colorful.  I got so much use of it for an entire week and never reused a shadow.  That’s value.  The cost is $59, but this is a 20-pan palette, and larger pans at that.  Plus you get extras in the kit like a mini finishing powder, mini cheek stain, mini mascara, and a full size lipgloss and lipstick.  Oh, and a mini Maracuja oil.  So honestly, it’s got good stuff for a really great price.  What I’m trying to say is go ahead and buy this.  It’s at Sephora only.  And it’s LIMITED EDITION.  You panicked yet?  You should be.

However, do not buy this:

IMG_5368.JPG

This is a mucho mucho waste of money.  It’s the Bobbi Brown Mini Eye Palette.  Super cute packaging, which enticed me first.  Then I thought the price ($35) wasn’t too terrible for 8 designer eyeshadows. I mean, it’s not awesome but I suppose you’d could say I’m used to it.  My last thought was that I didn’t have a lot of Bobbi Brown stuff, and because I’m very ridiculous, I went ahead and purchased it because that made perfect sense.

Now.  I’m not saying this palette wouldn’t work for certain people.  But for me it was simply no bueno.  Three of the shadows were chunky glitter, and even though they are quite clearly different colors in the pan, absolutely no discernible difference appeared on my eye.  The other colors were okay, but very sheer.  If I want a sheer look, that would be okay, but more often than not I don’t.  The size of the palette is a 2-inch square.  This doesn’t bother me, but I wanted everyone to know in case they would be expecting something bigger.

Ever since I’ve gotten this palette, it’s been hiding out in the Train Case of Unused Makeup.  It’s probably going to live there.  I’m keeping it because the packaging makes me happy and it’s Bobbi Brown (i.e., fancy).  Does that make me shallow?  Probably.

Last thing:

IMG_5314.JPG

As if I don’t have enough cleansers or something, I went ahead and picked up the Sunday Riley Ceramic Slip cleanser primarily because I liked the name Ceramic Slip.  I really should develop more appropriate shopping techniques.  I certainly shouldn’t base my purchases based on clever names, pretty packaging, and whether or not they look like food.

Regardless, though, this is a good cleanser.  It doesn’t smell that great.  Like it literally smells like the inside of a ceramic pot.  That’s probably not its intended smell, but I detect nothing floral, sweet or perfume-y at all.  It has black pepper and frankincense in it.  Are those good smells?  NO.  But they’re not horrid, so we can move on.

This cleanser is not moisturizing.  It actually physically tightens your skin.  It foams up really nice when you use wet hands and makes you feel like you’re getting your face super duper clean.  It claims to give me miniscule pores and flawless skin.  It’s printed right there on the front of the bottle.  They wouldn’t do that if it wasn’t true.  Either that, or it’s just a very clever marketing ploy because besides the name, that’s the other reason why I bought this.

Okay friends, we’re at the end.  Beauty boxes are arriving so I’ll be getting on those reviews soon.  Plus I’m in a constant state of Buying Stuff, so honestly, the fun will never die.  Hope it’s warm and sunshine-y where you are.  I’m going to go roll up in a ball under a blanket somewhere.  Bye!

Dec8

Empties | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Oh my god, it’s like day 59 with no sun, and I don’t think I can take it anymore.  According to the weather, it’s supposed to be sunny today.  If they consider foggy, misty, grey and gloomy a sunny day, then I’m just gonna go ahead and call in sick until April.

It’s Empties time!  Hope you’ve set aside a full day because this is going to be the longest post I’ve ever written.  I used up a ton of stuff this past month.  Which is probably good for the environment.  Most importantly, however, it clears up space for more new things.  Let’s get started with some cleansers:

image

There is nothing technically wrong with the Epice Purifying Exfoliant, but I didn’t care for it.  The micro beads were so tiny I couldn’t get them off my face.  Like I’d rinse and rinse and rinse, and still I’d find little beads clinging to my skin.  And when you have OCD, you absolutely can’t rest until you get every bit.  So I’d be in the bathroom for practically eons.  Additionally, if I used it while I was in the bathtub, I’d be sitting on micro beads for the remainder of the bath.  Let’s just say it did not feel pleasant.

But not all exfoliants are made alike, thankfully.  I absolutely love the Suki Exfoliate Foaming Cleanser.  This is what an exfoliant should be.  The beads rinse completely and cleanly.  It smells like furniture polish, which isn’t my favorite, but it’s tolerable.  The most enjoyable thing about this product is that it’s a pretty dry scrub in the container.  Scoop some out, then wet your other hand and rub together.  Once it comes into contact with water it softens up and spreads very easily across the skin.  Afterwards, you are left with a super soft, moisturized feeling.  Now, I have heard conflicting reports that the full size isn’t as awesome as the sample size.  Which doesn’t make sense cuz it’s the same stuff, right?  So I’m a little apprehensive about ordering a full size, although I really really want to.

I was very curious about the Eve Lom Cleanser, as Vogue claims it to be the best cleanser in the world and it’s been winning awards for 25 years.  I mean, that’s gotta be saying something.  Certainly perked my cat ears right up.  Anything award-winning I want immediately.  Figured since the smallest size was $50, I should probably try a sample first.

Sometimes I amaze myself with my own insight.  This stuff has the most horrendous smell of any product I’ve ever tried.  Even worse than the one that smells like a fish hatchery.  Like, would it kill someone to toss a few flowers in the batch?  Now, if you read the reviews on Sephora, most people love this stuff.  When they talk about the smell, some say it’s amazing but don’t worry, they are wrong.  Others say the smell grows on you, which I cannot vouch for.  However, despite that hideousness, this truly is a magical cleanser.  It removes makeup like a champ, and comes with a little muslin cloth to help exfoliate your skin.  It also comes with instructions on how to use it properly, which includes a lymphatic massage of your face.  I don’t know about you, but I have a 17-step nighttime regimen; I have no time to massage my own face.  Plus, I literally want to get this on then off in record speed because the smell hurts my tummy, and I am a princess.  Would I repurchase this?  It’s up in the air.

Got a little sample of the Clarins Gentle Foaming Cleanser, and it was alright.  It left almost zero impression on me so I can’t remember much about it; however, it wasn’t gross or else this paragraph would be much longer.  Pretty basic.  Didn’t hate it.  Nothing special.  Moving on.

To body stuff:

image

I owned this theBalm Kiwi Facial Scrub for way longer than its 6 month expiration, so I’m tossing it.  I figured if I kept pushing it, I’d end up with a face-falling-off situation, of which I have no time for.  This was a decent facial scrub.  The bits were rather large, but they rinsed very well.  The smell was divine – and we all know how important smell is.  Towards the end of its life span, I started using it on my body just to eke out more use.  I liked it in this capacity as well.  It’s a pretty large bottle for as much as I wanted to use it (like once a week, although 2-3 times a week is fine) so I didn’t get value for my money.  Although I bought it on Hautelook for 50% off, so there’s probably a math problem in there somewhere for you.

No, the Philosophy shampoo/shower gel/bubble bath thing is not completely empty as you can see.  However, this is the portion of product I could not get out of the bottle without muscle strain and/or breaking a sweat.  No thanks.  I did not use this as a shampoo or bubble bath, only shower gel.  And I liked it alright.  It lasted ages.  The smell was very nice (Melon Daiquiri as shown).  Even includes a little recipe right on the bottle.  I will most likely repurchase at some point and pick another scent.  Animal Cracker smells awesome, as does Cinnamon Bun.  And Pink Frosting.  Mmmmmm, who wants a snack?  I do.

I actually finished a nail polish remover.  Got these pads from Lauren B. Beauty and they’re super nice.  First of all, they smell good.  Like fruit or something.  And one pad will do all 10 of your fingers, even hard to remove nail polish.  It took me a long while to get through since I don’t paint my nails or change my nail polish all that much, but I wouldn’t be opposed to purchasing these again.

Onto hair things:

image

I suppose the Bvlgari au The Blanc hair conditioner doesn’t belong in the hair category because I did not use this as a conditioner.  First of all, it’s super perfume-y, so unless you want your hair to smell like cologne, I’d recommend doing what I did and use this to shave your legs instead.  I mean, I literally can’t attest to its hair conditioning powers, but it did a great job making my legs feel smooth.  And I know there is still a small amount of product left in the bottle, but that’s the part that wouldn’t come out.  Like there’s only so much beating it against the side of the bathtub that I can take.  And all that spurting and sputtering.  What can I say?  I’m a quitter.

You’ve all heard me sing the praises of the Carol’s Daughter hair mask.  I decided to get the matching Monoi shampoo and conditioner as well because I can’t get enough of that delicious smell.  But while the smell was as lush and intoxicating as expected, I’m not sure the shampoo and conditioner is my Ride or Die.  It’s not bad, mind you, but I think I can live without it.  Kind of hurts my heart to say that, but honestly, the mask does everything I need.  So most likely I will try a cheaper shampoo and conditioner next (heard great things about Clear, plus it won an Allure award) and continue with my weekly mask treatment.  Sound like a good plan?  It totally does.

My favorites – masks and serums:

image

I pretty much just used this Sesha Botanical Hydro sheet mask just so it wouldn’t go to waste.  I’m not a fan of sheet masks.  They feel gelatinous to the touch and they never give me the satisfaction I usually get from traditional masks.  However, if you are one who loves a good sheet mask, this one gave me ridiculous soft skin afterwards.

I almost used this entire tube of SmartFX Smart Eye Wrinkle Lift, but I was around two months into it and got really, really bored.  You know how it is when you have new products you want to try – you make the best effort you can in finishing up current products but those new products keep enticing you with their fancy packaging and pristine good looks.  I tried to ignore it and carry on, but I swear this SmartFX kept replicating itself just to be annoying.  I’m sure that’s fantastic news for people who like value for their money, but I am (apparently) not one of them.  I took matters into my own hands and tossed the dang thing.

But before all that, this was a decent eye cream.  It was tinted, and I really enjoyed the finish it left under my eye.  Did it plump my fine lines?  Doubtful.  But it had psychological brain trickery going for it cuz I kept using it anyway.

One of the best products I used this past month was the Murad Rapid Age Spot and Pigment Lightening Serum.  I have a big freckle underneath my left eye and some discoloration along the hollow of my cheek.  I only applied this serum to those areas, even though you can apply it to your entire face.  After a few weeks, I could tell a huge difference.  And the longer I used it, the better the results were.  My under eye freckle nearly disappeared and the cheek discoloration went away entirely.  The only thing it didn’t work on was my pimple scar.  Which is unfortunate because I can live with that dang freckle; it’s the pimple scar that ruins my complexion.  Now that I haven’t been using it, however, the freckle has darkened up a bit.  Cheek still looks pretty good, though.  So it’s not a miracle product for me, but it’s worth a try if you’re curious.

One of the nicest eye creams is this hydrating one from Bobbi Brown.  Got it in a 500-point perk (along with other stuff) from Sephora, and despite its teeny tiny size, I swear it lasted over a month.  The texture is ultra creamy and smooth.  Once it sank in, which was relatively fast, your eye skin would feel like velvet.  Who wouldn’t love that?  (Crazy people.)  I have loads of other eye creams to try now, but this is definitely one I will come back to.

Y’all know I love my serums.  Got this little sample of the Shiseido Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate in my Birchbox, and was so super excited to give it a try.  The formula is kind of like a syrup; it oozes out of the bottle.  I put a couple drops on my face, and it starts to get tacky/sticky very quickly.  But once it evaporates (ten or so minutes), my skin felt very nice.  I could use this with other serums – the Shiseido is meant to boost the benefits of other products – but I didn’t.  Why add another step to my nighttime regime unnecessarily?  I mean, I do it on purpose all the time; that’s enough.  However, if you do choose to use this along with another serum, apply this one first.  Not sure why it matters, but Shiseido says it does, so then do it.  Always follow the rules when it comes to Science (due to malfunction-slash-chemical explosion-slash-angry hives-situation that may occur).

And now for makeup removers:

image

How about some boring ole Neutrogena makeup remover cleansing towelettes to get you going in the morning?  I can’t even tell you anything special about these wipes.  They are basic, but do the job very well.  Not much else you can say about them. I will repurchase one day probably.  I’m testing out a few other wipes right now, plus I bought another pack of the Ole Henriksen Pore Refining wipes I originally tried a few months ago.  Now those wipes are something.  They have eucalyptus in them, so they perk you right up in the morning.  They are my favorite because of that reason, but I don’t like spending $15 on them.  So if I have just $6.50 in my pocket and a wipes emergency (it happens), I’ll go back to Neutrogena without a doubt.

As for the Clarins eye makeup remover, this was no more special or effective than my normal Neutrogena one that is $6.  In my opinion, save yourself some money.  Unless you just enjoy buying fancier brands for no apparent reason.  I mean, obviously I do it all the time – you’ve read this blog before, right?  But sometimes my brain tells me stop it.  Paying $28 for eye makeup remover that provides the same results as a drugstore product sounds like someone doesn’t know how to do math right.  And while I’m not a math genius or anything, a “D” is still passing and therefore I’m able to put down the Clarins and walk away.

Lord, are we done?

No.  Here’s makeup:

image

I took a little break from my holy grail sunscreen, Cotz, just to try something new.  I had received the Coola mineral sunscreen (matte tint version) in one of my boxes and I really liked the texture.  Ordered the full size, which was pretty pricey, but it lasted for months and months.  My only issue was the pump on my bottle didn’t always work.  It drove me bananas when I’d be trying to get going on my morning routine only to find myself pumping the nozzle about 70 times until something came out.  I almost gave up on it about 17 times.  This product is very light weight.  Sank in pretty quick into the skin and left a nice silky feeling behind.  Using this felt more like applying makeup.  No beachy sunscreen here.  Now that I’ve finished it, I’ve gone back to my Cotz, but I wouldn’t mind another bottle of Coola.  You know, if anyone feels like getting me one.

If you have hideous, cavern-like pores like me and have struggled to find a good product to help mask them, Dr. Brandt Pores No More is one of the good ones.  This is very much a silicone primer with a nude skin tone. Similar to Benefit’s Porefessional.  Might be a tad bit creamier.  Now don’t go be expecting miracles or anything.  You won’t walk away from the mirror with a porcelain complexion – unless you already have one.  But it did help blur out the imperfections and for that I am grateful.  I’ve accepted the fact that nothing will turn back the time on my face (with the exception of laser surgery, perhaps).  As long as these little pore filler things exist, I will somehow manage to carry on.  Sobbing, but carrying on.

My lips are a mess.  I’ve yet to find anything that will control my dry, flaky lip skin.  I had some hopes for the Fresh Sugar lip treatment, but it didn’t help either.  It may be due to the fact I have a fan blowing straight on my face for 8 hours every night.  However, I’m so addicted to the fan that there’s no way I could sleep without it now.  If the electricity goes off in the middle of the night, I don’t wake up because of a large clap of thunder; I wake up because someone turned my damn fan off.

But I digress.  This lip balm is just like anything else I’ve tried.  It has a brown sugar scent that I don’t actually care for.  Aside from all that, if you read the reviews on Sephora it seems as though I have no idea what I’m talking about.  Everyone loooooves the Fresh Sugar lip treatment.  Everyone but me.

One product I do love is the Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer.  This thing is heavenly.  First of all, it smells like a dream.  I’m pretty sure someone in Marketing is kicking back with their feet on their desk – as well they should.  Make things smell like chocolate and women will buy it, whatever it is.  That’s how chocolate Pringles manage to still exist.  But truly, in addition to the smell, this is a really nice bronzer.  The color looks kind of dark in the pan, but on the cheek it is very flattering.  I have light/medium skin if that helps you gauge whether you can use it or not.  It would probably be too dark for fair skin.  The sample I used actually crumbled into a million pieces so I had to toss it.  I tried using it by dabbing my brush in the crumbs, but it became very messy.  I’ve since replaced it with a full size, even though I have a ginormous Marc Jacobs bronzer that’s barely had its textured imprint rubbed off yet.

Another lip product that is a big fat waste.  I bought the Hourglass No. 28 lip oil out of sheer curiosity.  Also because at that time in my life I owned one Hourglass thing, and it was my mission to buy something – anything – else.  Sometimes I make no sense.  I could’ve bought a blush or even a foundation.  But I bought a lip oil.  And guess what?  Chapped lips everywhere.  Yes, it was a pretty thick oil, but I never felt one time that it was doing anything special for me.  Yes, it lasted eons.  Like I’d still be using it if my granddaughter hadn’t put the tip in her mouth right after eating a snack of Cheetos.  If I could say one nice thing about it, I’d say it’s not too sticky.  And it felt alright on the lips.  And possibly it didn’t work very well for me because of the aforementioned fan situation.  I’ll give it that at least.

There is nothing wrong with this L’Oreal Silkissime eyeliner.  It’s super black, very creamy, and stayed put really well.  All good eyeliner attributes.  But I had the worst time sharpening this thing.  I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get a smooth sharpen.  The pencil portion was jagged and stuck out further than the eyeliner in the middle, and it would stab me in the eyelid if I tried to use it.  This is not an exaggeration.  I gave it two chances to straighten up, and still with the stabbing.  I had to let it go.  Luckily it was pretty inexpensive.  There is a little gold band around the tip of the pencil so maybe that part just doesn’t sharpen very well. Whatever the case, I gave up cuz I have 27 other black eyeliners to last me for eternity.

I received this Dior Diorshow Iconic mascara for free so I’m perfectly fine to say I did not like it and I’m throwing it away. The formula was so dry it literally did nothing for my eyelashes. There’s a distinct possibility I got an empty tube. I mean, it was free after all. But now I’m not keen whatsoever to try the full size version. Although there are fifteen times more 5-star Sephora reviews than 1-star, so again, I may have no idea what I’m talking about. My daughter gets it now. She loves everything.

Oh my gawd, you’ve made it to the end. I assume anyway. I did give myself a massive case of carpal tunnel so if that guilts you into sticking around, then I win at blogging and can get back into pajamas now. Thanks, Friends!

Dec1

Glossybox | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

I finally broke down and bought proper trouser socks to go with my dress shoes for work.  I am not a child and am quite aware you aren’t allowed to wear orange and green polka dot socks with a navy sweater.  I can’t say the trouser socks are breaking any fashion barriers or anything, but at least they are black and match everything.

Look, it’s my Glossybox:

image

This is one of the best boxes they’ve sent.  I will use every single thing in here – even the nail polish, although probably just once.  Hooray for Christmas miracles!  Let’s begin.

I will never turn my back on skin care.  So receiving the Juice Beauty Green Apple Age Defy moisturizer is a welcomed sight.  I’ve used one of the green apple products before – a mask – and it doesn’t particularly smell like green apples.  So I’m expecting the moisturizer to be the same.  I suppose the green apple isn’t necessarily a scent-thing but more an acid-thing because it’s loaded with alphas and betas that will help brighten your skin and get rid of discoloration.  This is perfect for me.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am plagued with hyperpigmentation (i.e., old pimple scars).  I have a cluster of it right on my cheek which makes looks me look like I’ve been sweeping chimneys for 8 hours.  If I was nine years old, I know my mama’d be coming after me with her magic cleaning thumb.  It’s not dirt, people; I don’t need a spit-polish.

Long story short, I’d be nice if this moisturizer works.  We shall see.

I’ve owned the 12 Benefits hair treatment in the past, and it’s my absolute favorite leave-in product ever.  I can spray this all over my hair and never worry about it feeling scummy or weighed down after it’s dried.  I have been meaning to buy the full-size, but I keep getting all these ho-hum samples from my boxes that I’m making an effort to use up.  Since I technically paid for all of them.  Being responsible isn’t always the most fun.

In case you’re curious, the 12 benefits of 12 Benefits are: seals hair color, smooths frizz, repairs damage, prevents split ends, moisturizes, strengthens, prevents flat iron/chlorine/wind/sun damage, adds shine/softness, protects from blow drying, improves detangling, and maintains youthfulness.  Doesn’t that all sound amazing?  It does, and now you want it.  Put it in your basket.

Received an OPI nail polish in custom shade called Pink Outside the Glossybox.  Isn’t that clever?  Even so, I don’t wanna keep it.  It matches the Glossybox boxes perfectly, though.  However, it’s just a basic pink in my eyes.  I think I will use it maybe this weekend, take a selfie for posterity, and then give it away to my daughter.  It’s all in the spirit of Christmas.

I was super excited to see the So Susan universal blush in my box.  I have never heard of this brand, which is the number one reason I subscribe to beauty boxes: trying new brands.  The packaging of the blush is pretty boring, but the color is really lovely.  And then I realized it’s one of those self-adjusting blushes that will change to suit your skin tone.  What kind of voodoo magical witchcraft is this?!  I don’t know about you, but I would buy it simply for this fact alone.

I have been wearing it for a couple days, and I feel like the color is very flattering.  A pretty mauve-y pink.  It’s very pigmented as well so be careful.  I over applied the first time, and it was less flattering more prostitute-y.  I was much more deliberate the next time and it fared much better.  This may very well be in the top tier of all my blushes.  And I have a lot, so that’s saying something.

Last thing in the box is a Kneipp Herbal Bath in Balancing Lavender.  I’ve always wanted to do something like this.  How extra special Princessy!  Who doesn’t want to lounge in a bath with the smell of lavender all around you?  Maybe people who don’t like the smell of lavender, but other than that, I can imagine everyone doing it.  This particular one helps combat fatigue and gives you peace of mind and other Zen-like things.  If that’s not your thing, though, there are other scents for muscle aches, sleep deprivation, energy, stress, even cold and flu.  So I think I’m gonna give this a try over the weekend and I’ll report back how it went.  If I manage to slither my way out of the bathtub, that is.  I can do Princess Time like it’s my damn job.  As well it should be.  I’m var var good at it.

All done and now I’m starving.  Time for snacks.  Possibly a nap.  Most definitely pajamas.  See ya tomorrow friends.

 

Nov29

Birchbox | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

As much as I love buying makeup and skin care, as much as I love a good sale and hate to waste a coupon, I refuse to wake up at three in the morning just to stand in line for four hours waiting to score one of five super cheap TVs, Playstations or life-size Elsa dolls.  There may be a math problem in that sentence for someone, but it pretty much boils down to this:  if it involves pants, lots of waiting, and a possible bloody nose, I kindly bow out.  I haven’t Black Friday shopped once in my life.  That’s why the internet was invented, people.  Do you not know this?

Here’s my Birchbox:

IMG_5734.JPG

First of all, they stuck a little piece of Vosges Pink Himalayan Crystal Salt Caramel in my box, and I almost didn’t get this picture taken before I discreetly and ladylikely inhaled it.  Ugh.  So delicious.  I will take a million of them, thanks.  It’s not a hard caramel either; it’s liquid – the kind where you have to tilt your head back to bite into unless you’d like a caramel trail oozing down your chin.  Not that I’m opposed to that or anything.  I can think of worse things oozing down your chin.  Hot pizza cheese, grease from a jalapeno popper.  Toothpaste foam.  My point is, eat this caramel.  It’s divine.

A beauty box wouldn’t be proper without the forever unwanted perfume sample.  Aside from that, though, enough with the Harvey Prince already.  Lordt.  I think I’ve received his entire scent collection by now.  Seriously, do a search on this blog and report back.  Pretty sure I’ve reviewed like 15 of them.  This time I got the Petaly Noir version.  It’s a Birchbox exclusive, so don’t even think of buying this somewhere else.  If you must buy this at all.

According to my research, this is a very, very feminine scent.  Notes are lily of the valley, jasmine, orchid, patchouli, sandalwood, amber, with slight hints of vanilla and musk.  It is mysterious, provocative, captivating.  Do you want this yet?  It’s also described as “insanely great” which sounds like someone lost their thesaurus at this point.  Or else they are trying to invoke a sexy mood, but then when you get right down to it, you laugh and laugh and ruin everything.  Can’t say that’s never happened to me before.  Anyway *blink blink* …

I’m happy with receiving the Derma e Evenly Radiant Brightening Cleanser because it’s targeted for people with uneven pigmentation, freckles, dark spots, and sun damage.  I have all those things.  I suppose I don’t mind the freckles so much, except my freckles are less cutesy and more splotchy.  They’re probably not even freckles anymore.  As my dermatologist said the last time I went and pointed out all these odd little spots on my face – oh yes, that’s typical of aging and yes, caused by aging and yup, you’re old-slash-aging.

I haven’t gotten a chance to use this yet as I’m currently working my way through something else.  But watch for it in an upcoming Empties post.  Are you excited? (Yes, you are.)

It’s safe to say I really loved the Royal Apothic Cuppa Cuppa Firming Tea Mask.  It’s a visual feast, for one.  The packaging is adorable.  You get 6 single-use tubes housed in a pretty little tin.  The mask itself comes out this luscious muted purple color.  Seriously, this could have been slug trail for all I know, but it’s PURPLE and therefore want it on my face.  I was quite surprised that the mask had a cool tingle effect that lasted the entire time I had it on.  At first I thought my face was going to fall off; I googled WebMD and he said everything was going to be fine.

The instructions say to use the entire contents of one tube and rub all over your face, neck and chest.  If you didn’t feel like all that, I know you could get a couple – maybe three – uses out of one tube.  And because the full size of 6 tubes is $58, I recommend it highly.  The product is supposed to work its magic in 8 minutes, so I set the alarm for exactly 8 minutes.  I appreciate explicit instructions and so should you.  Because I swear, if I read another “apply to eye area” I may scream.  What encompasses the eye area exactly?  Just under the eye?  Or can you add the lid, under the brow, and above the brow, too?  Or maybe a combination of under eye/under brow only?  Or perhaps just on the orbital bone?  And if that’s the case, would that be directly on the bone or just in the vicinity either slightly above or below the bone?  Yeah, nobody actually knows.

Once the timer went off, my mask wasn’t dry.  Not sure if it was supposed to be or not, but to err on the side of caution (and because the instructions told me to), I washed it off anyway.  My face felt very refreshed and smooth.  This was very much a spa-like experience for me.  All that was missing was a big fluffy white robe and little finger sandwiches.  I know I won’t buy the full size because I do feel like its kind of overpriced for the amount of uses you get.  Because y’all know I’m not opposed to pay $58 for a mask, but I’d like to be able to use it longer than (technically) six times.

Got this itty bitty baby theBalm Cindy-Lou Manizer highlighter/blush/eyeshadow all-in-one thingy. Not to be confused with the Mary-Lou or the Betty-Lou, the Cindy-Lou is a shimmery peachy pink meant to be worn pretty much wherever you want.  I tried it as a highlighter, and it is super duper subtle.  Nothing wrong with being subtle, but if I’m going to go through the trouble of applying highlighter, it bygod better show up.  Cuz I don’t add 27 steps to my morning routine for no reason.   I did not sample this as a blush or eyeshadow because I decided I didn’t want to.  I’m giving this to my daughter for her to enjoy.  But if you enjoy a subtle highlighter, then by all means, do.  It’s still a very pretty color.

Last item in the box is the Amika Nourishing hair mask.  Y’all know I’ve been loving and adoring my Carol’s Daughter Monoi hair mask, but I’m not opposed to trying different kinds.  I only got one use out of the sample they gave me so I can’t say anything regarding the long-term effects, but for the short term … ummmm, it smelled nice.  It was thick and creamy.  But when I was drying my hair, I felt like it was a little weighed down.  So perhaps it coated my strands in a little too much nourishment.  Can that even happen?  Can hair be too hydrated?  The tube says it will seal in my split ends, but I’ll just be honest with you: my hair texture has been pretty much the same for all eternity, so if I have a split end situation happening upon my head, I probably don’t even know.  My hair is poofy.  That’s about all I can say for certain.

Long story short, it’s not a bad mask for the right hair type.  I probably won’t buy it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.  If anything, the packaging would look cute on your counter.

And now for the weird, disjointed outro.  Maybe one day I’ll come up with some clever way to end my posts.  But for now, let’s just stick with awkward.  Bye!

Nov28

Ipsy | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Did everyone survive Thanksgiving?  We ended up doing a nighttime dinner, so all of the daytime I spent reading US Weekly and eating chips in bed.  Can’t say it wasn’t enjoyable.  Although, I paid for my relaxin’ since I was in charge of about 10 hours worth of dishes after we all ate.  My fingernails are ragged, brittle little babies today.

Below you will find the most boring Ipsy that ever lived:

IMG_5657.JPG

Boo. Snore.  I’m sure you agree.

I can’t even use my necessity excuse in order to enjoy this Marc Anthony Oil of Morocco hairspray.  I don’t use hairspray.  Like, ever.  In fact, Birchbox had sent me a little deluxe-sized hairspray about a year ago and I put it in my drawer “just in case” and it still has it’s little wrapper on it.  I can’t even give you a proper review because I literally don’t know.  My friend got this in her Ipsy bag as well and she told me she liked it.  Does that help?  No?  Moving on.

I already own one of these J. Cat Beauty Wonder Lip Paint although not in this color, WLP111 Red Potion.  Can’t say I won’t use it, but it’s such a dark plum-red color that I may not go anywhere that presents an opportunity to use it.  It’s a party color, like for New Year’s Eve or something.  The last time I did anything special for New Year’s Eve, I was at work doing work and my shift ran over past midnight.  Ever since then, I’ve become very much an indoor girl.  Cooking little fried appetizers – taquitos, mini quiches, bagel bites – and wearing pajamas have been more my thing lately.  I suppose I could still wear the lip paint, though.

These thing are potent.  Super vibrant color with the staying power that’ll blow your mind and piss you off all at the same time.  Don’t apply this with your finger, unless you want purple fingertips for the next 3 days.  If you’ve used an OCC Lip Tar, these are very similar but like only $5 which is nice.

The only thing I actually liked and will continue using is the Elizabeth Mott You’re So Fine liquid eyeliner in Glitterati.  Previously, I thought all my liquid liner skills had gone to pot when I tried using theBalm’s Schwing and failed miserably.  This Elizabeth Mott one was my second chance.  It glided on very smoothly.  The brush didn’t split into 15 single little hairs.  I could even do a pretty decent wing without making a horrid mess.  I’m actually going to venture out and say this liquid liner is easier to apply than my pen liners, and that makes me var var happy indeed.  I feel like I’m back to my old self.  Not the self that spent 5 minutes on a morning makeup routine, but the self that could apply liquid eyeliner without gooping it all up.  No, that 5-minute self has been kicked out of the club.  If she comes back, be concerned.  Also bring antidepressants.

I do not love cream eyeshadow, so even though there is nothing wrong with this Be A Bombshell eye base, I simply don’t want it.  I got the color Submissive, which is a pale bronze.  It swatched very nicely.  And it blended really well.  I’m just annoyed to use it.  But I kept it just in case someone steals all my eyeshadows but that one.

For the record though, I didn’t hate the color. And it wasn’t awful to wear.  Nor was it a pain (that much) to apply.  I can see where I’d use it if I wanted to brighten up some bland neutral powders.  Or if that 5-minute self really does come back one day, I hate to admit that this little pot of shadow may very well become my BFF.  Until then, though, it’s going to live in my Train Case of Forgotten Makeup and keep it’s little trap shut.

This is the second time a box sent me a Temptu S/B highlighter, and I still don’t want it. I got the Pink Pearl shade this go round so it was nice not to get a repeat color at least. These liquid highlighters are meant to be used with the Temptu airbrush machine, but apparently that’s not a necessary requirement. I was more excited about getting the first one cuz I hadn’t owned it before. But now that I know how much I never used it, receiving it again is quite the lackluster event. Ah well. A fitting theme for this box at least.

But for those who are actually curious about this product, I will give you a list of uses. Top of the cheekbones. Inner corner of the eye. On the cupids bow. Under the brow bone. Above the arch of the brow. Mixed in with foundation to give an all over glow. So obviously very versatile. But will I ever do those things? Doubt it. Cuz it’s a liquid highlighter and that takes extra time, time of which I do not have. Unless I set my alarm for 5 a.m. And then also skip eyeliner. So there’s hope (said me, NEVER).

You’re at the end. Thanks for reading, guys. Please feel free to comment, like, or share with your best friend’s cousin’s wife’s sister’s hairdresser. Or just stick it on your Facebook. Same thing.

Nov24

Sample Society | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

You know what ruins 60-degree weather?  No sun.  And rain.  You know what also ruins 60-degree weather?  Hanging around the AT&T store for 3 days trying to figure out what is wrong with my phone.  I am fighting the urge to throw my brand new Samsung Galaxy S5 across the room, but I’m betting that might not fix anything.  I am waiting “patiently” for an “engineer” to look into my situation.

In the meantime, here’s Sample Society:

IMG_5636.JPG

Not a bad box this time.  Finally, a little ray of hope has peeked its way into my world.  But let’s not get carried away.  Let’s review.

I’ll just be honest: the fact that Lorac calls their mascara “Cobra” is enough for me to say no thank you.  I have a deathly fear of snakes; therefore, I can’t separate real snakes from fake snakes – even the mascara kind.  However, because I technically paid for the dang thing, and I was trying to be a professional, I held my breath and went for it anyway.

Good God, the wand is shaped like a cobra head.  Well, that solves that.  Back in the tube you go.

Urgh, FINE.  I am a beauty blogger.  I am a strong, fearless woman.  It’s just makeup.  Nothing to be afraid of.  Starting to itch, though.  I’ve got the hives.  Maybe a slight brow sweat.  Heart is lurching.  Stomach is dropping.  I’m literally the only person in the world about to die from the Lorac Cobra mascara.

And then … well, it wasn’t so bad actually.  The brush actually made the application really easy.  A nice wet formula.  No clumps.  Decent volume, acceptable length.  Eyelashes look pretty good.  Nothing dramatic, but definitely a noticeable difference.  I liked it.  Granted, I’ll never buy the full-size ever never in my entire lifetime, but that’s beside the point.  Baby steps, y’all.

Then I got this Malin + Goetz bergamot body wash.  I’m okay with getting this because A) I just finished a body wash and B) I always need body wash.  There really isn’t much to say about a body wash though.  Did it clean your skin? If so, I would call that a success and then move on with life.  As for the scent, it’s made with bergamot extract.  If you know what bergamot is, then you may sit yourself back down.  For the rest of us normal people, it’s an oil found in the peel of the Bergamot orange.  Which would lead one to believe this is a citrus-smelling body wash.  Wellll, it’s not.  It has a slightly spicy smell; maybe I could eke out a touch of citrus if I concentrate real hard.  But who wants to do that while relaxing in the tub?  Not me.  That’s Princess Time – if I manage to lift my leg up to shave it, that’s an Act of God practically.  And also Ordinance No. 345, Article 25, Section 3a of the Marriage Code.  (Says my husband.)

The only thing I didn’t care for at all is the Calvin Klein Reveal perfume.  It would be so much easier if perfume was interesting to me.  I haven’t bought myself a perfume since 2004.  That’s not a typo.  Plus, I still have it.  It’s probably a bottle full of poison at this point, but I still have it.

However, for those that need to know, here is the description of the perfume taken directly from the internet:  Sultry. Warm. Unexpected. REVEAL defines a new olfactive category – the solar oriental – a second skin scent characterized by unexpected raw salt, luminous flowers and warm woods.

Did this make you want to buy it?  How about this:  top notes are salt and pepper.  Did you just say salt and pepper?! out loud like I just did?  I’m not even sure that’s proper perfume ingredients.  It’s most likely written down in the International Perfume Handbook listed under the chapter titled NO.  Why Calvin Klein didn’t consult his handbook first is beyond me.

And in case you were wondering, other notes include oris and solar accord.  Which are two things that don’t even exist.  Nexxxxxt.

If you have super fine hair (like me) and want to scare the crap out of yourself, then you should read the Allure magazine review of the Alterna Caviar Omega+ Nourishing Oil.  The word “globby” is in there as well as “dull residue” – that’s enough to make me kindly walk away.  I have issues with hair products that promise to solve all my problems.  My hair is so fine that any amount of stuff will weigh it down or give me a dirty, sticky feeling.  So I approached this hair oil with trepidation.

The term “globby” is about right.  This is a syrupy, stringy mess.  I think I put in about two drops worth – maybe the size of a pea.  Ran this all through my ends, and that’s all I had the guts for.  There’s no way in hell I was going further up because I was in no mood for “dull residue” or even the “flatness” that they’ve warned might happen to those with fine hair.  And the result?  Well it didn’t feel gross, so that’s one thing.  My hair seemed to be a little smoother on the ends. At least it wasn’t as poufy as usual.  So I’m hopeful.  I will continue to use it and let you know if anything miraculous happens in a future Empties post.

Last thing in the box was this MDSolarSciences MD Crème Mineral Beauty Balm.  I used this a couple weekends ago, and all I can say is if you don’t care much about coverage, this would be a great BB for you.  I have a horrid, splotchy complexion so you can imagine how much I didn’t love it – it’s so incredibly sheer.  Felt like a silicone-y moisturizer going on, gives off a nice matte finish, somewhat blurs out minor ugly things, but all my freckles and that hideous pimple scar was having a political protest right there upon my face.  In other words:  NOT GOING ANYWHERE.  However, it still felt really nice, has a very high SPF, and would work wonders for those with already pretty nice complexions.  I’m passing it along to my daughter who has skin of a Victorian doll.  How I managed to produce something that exquisite, I’ll never know.

We’re done for the day.  If I don’t manage to get back on before Thanksgiving, wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday.  I’m going to try very hard not to eat myself into a no-pants-on situation.  It’s not a very attractive look for me.  (Or anyone for that matter.) (Except for Ryan Gosling.)

Bye!

Nov19

Buying Stuff: Episode 22

Posted on by
Standard

Current status:  still freezing.  But thanks for checking.  I’ll just be over here wearing socks with my heels, sitting on a heating pad, holding my hand around my nose to keep it warm.  Or, looking like an idiot, as it is commonly known.

Gratefully, the weather is supposed to get warmer in the next few days, so perhaps my pouting and whining will calm down a bit.  Until the next polar vortex that makes it way through, that is.  Me and Winter? We ARE. NOT. friends.

In brighter news, I bought stuff:

IMG_4803.JPG

A little mini Inglot haul!  I picked up a lip paint in shade 59 (in the purple family), a gel eyeliner in shade 82 (also in the purple family; kind of a dark periwinkle), and a pigment in shade 56 (a teal).  I have decided that I love Inglot so much.  The gel eyeliners are the creamiest and best I’ve ever used.  They don’t set for 60 seconds, which works fantastically for me because I am never satisfied with my line on the first swipe.  In fact, I need a good 20 minutes – but I’ll accept 60 seconds.  I challenge you to buy one of these and then disagree with me.  It’s impossible I tell you; they’re amazing.  And if you think otherwise, well then you are WRONG.  There’s no other way to put it.

I adore the pigments.  I reviewed them in my Vegas haul if you’ll recall (and if you don’t, click here), and I still feel very much the same.  They are stunning, vibrant, and beautiful.  I now own four, and that’s a far cry from the zero amount I’ve owned in the past (i.e., my entire life) (i.e., forty years if you’re counting).

I’ve only purchased this one lip paint, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a lipstick or a lip gloss.  It’s a very pretty color, but it sheers out somewhat on the lips which makes me think it’s a gloss.  But it’s not really sticky.  It’s creamy, but not thick.  Either way, though, I like it and I might end up buying some more.

More fun with purple.  See below:

IMG_4802.JPG

This is the Charlotte Tilbury eyeshadow quad in Glamour Muse.  I am so happy that Charlotte Tilbury is now being sold in the U.S.  I don’t even know why, as I hadn’t even heard of her until someone on YouTube mentioned her one time.  I’m gonna say it’s most likely cuz I wasn’t able to purchase her products that made me want to buy her products.  Don’t tell me I can’t have something.  That creates a panic in me so fierce that I could probably bend steel rods with sheer OCD force or something. Which I suppose is pretty genius marketing on their part.  And also how I ended up with this quad.

Okay, I’m torn about it. At first glance, it’s super pretty. The sparkle is just right.  But I bought this because I wanted something PURPLE not just purple.  And the vibrant looking shade does not transfer that well onto your eyeball.  How unfortunate, for me and for all of the world.  Now, if you like a more subtle purple, by all means buy this quad with confidence.  Do not be afraid.  It will probably most likely be the perfect purple for you.

On a happier note, the longer I wore it (and the more often I stared at myself), the more I actually started to enjoy the eye look.  So it turned out alright in the end.  It just wasn’t what I was expecting in the beginning, that’s all.

And then!  I bought this:

IMG_4804.JPG

I love having a Color IQ number with Sephora because it tells me when new foundations come out that will match my skin tone.  If you haven’t gotten your Color IQ done, I’m pretty sure you’ve stumbled upon this blog by accident, cuz anyone who’s everyone who loves makeup is (or should be) doing this.  If you like taking out guesswork, making shopping easy, buying foundation from the comfort of your home without fear and while wearing pajamas, that is.

So here is the Dior Diorskin Star foundation in 32 Rosy Beige.  For me, this is a really nice product.  It’s pretty lightweight, probably about a medium coverage.  Has a nice finish – not matte but not luminous – somewhere in between.  It claims to be brightening, which I didn’t really catch, but that might have more to do with my horrid complexion to start with.  That’s the problem with a lot of supposedly nice foundations.  You can’t put them on top of skin like mine and expect fabulous – it just doesn’t happen very often.  So, yeah, I wasn’t wowed or anything.  It didn’t knock my socks off.  It didn’t make me feel supermodelly (like the Guerlain Tenue de Perfection or Givenchy Photo’Perfexion does).  So this foundation will be in my second tier – a high quality, better than average, no IT factor foundation.

I bought a brush:

IMG_4805.JPG

A Wayne Goss #7 lip brush to be exact.  I bought this to go with the Inglot lip paint, as I didn’t feel like going all hillbilly fingers into the pot.  We use brushes like refined ladies in here, people.  Or else.

What can I really say about a lip brush other than it applies lip stuff? Not much.  But I will say the edges are very thin, so if you’re really good at using a lip brush I’d think this one would do a pretty good job for you.  Other uses of this brush include gel or powder eyeliner application.  I tried the gel version, and you know what?  I really suck at gel eyeliner.  But others who don’t suck might find this brush a dream.  It has somewhat stiff bristles so they don’t go flopping all over the place and allows for some nice precision.

Look at this beauty:

IMG_4849.JPG

This is the Marc Jacobs Sky-Liner Highliner gel eye crayons kit.  Let me preface this by saying this kit is a limited edition.  However, the eyeliners themselves are not, so even if it’s 17 months into the future and you are reading this blog, this review should still apply.  Unless Marc Jacobs goes out of business, so in that case, kindly carry on.

I love these eyeliners.  They are very creamy and easy to apply.  The shimmer is beautiful.  They last for a very long time on the upper eyelid or below the lower eyelashes.  On my waterline, though, they did not last as long.  Kind of went patchy in the afternoon.  But I have very wet eyeballs so that’s probably the reason.  I’ve yet to find an eyeliner with hardcore staying power – the Sumita Beauty one comes the closest, but I’m still on my mission.  Regardless, though, these are some pretty, good quality liners and you should go ahead and throw them in your basket.

Whatever you do, do NOT buy the travel size of this item:

IMG_4857.JPG

It’s the Omorovicza Thermal Cleansing Balm, and if you try it once you will fall madly in love, then wrestle with your conscience regarding the $105 full-size price.  Or you can ignore yourself like I usually do.  It’s your risk to take.  But I swear, I have no idea what this stuff is made of – okay I do; it’s made of thermal mud from the Hungarian Moors – but it’s truly magical.  Has an odd little smell verging on licorice, but I’m most likely conjuring licorice due to its black color.  Anyway, I use a very small amount and apply it all over my face.  The texture is soothing, soft, velvety smooth.  Wiping it off is even better cuz then you are left with the skin of a baby’s bottom.  At this point, you’re under its spell and your shopping hand starts to get itchy.  Also, it removes makeup very well, but that’s beside the point now isn’t it?

I have since bought an Omorovicza travel kit that includes another jar of this balm.  I’m hoping by the time I’m done with both jars, my fascination will have been satisfied and I will no longer feel the pull of buying the full size.  Because honestly, I don’t WANT to pay that much for a cleanser.  Although, I suppose I will if I won’t leave myself alone about it.  I can be soooo super annoying sometimes.

If you like colorful eyeshadows, you should buy this:

IMG_4837.JPG

Ack!  I die.  This Urban Decay Vice 3 palette is just lovely.  That gorgeous green on the top row is what caught my eye initially.  And the golds and purples.  There are hearts in my eyes right now.  I had no issues with pigmentation or blendability.  Fallout was pretty minimal if at all.  And it comes in a cutesy little iPad case to help make your shopping decision even easier.

So many stunning looks can come out of this palette.  My favorite (other than the green of course) is using Lucky – which is the color of a new penny – all over the lid, then adding Alchemy – a bold raspberry – in the outer v.  Of course, I’m sure some makeup artist could do it even better, but I was pretty proud of my invention.  Pretty sure Urban Decay is about to call me.  Or Vogue.

Behold, look what else:

IMG_4807.JPG

Is your mouth hanging open?  Mine is.  It’s the new Gucci makeup, specifically the eyeshadow duo in Fume.  It’s shockingly beautiful, very luxurious, fancy schmancy, and ooh la la. Practically too pretty to even use, what with all those little Gs stamped into the shadow.  However, I did use it – just once so far – and lemme just say that sometimes I question my own makeup skills.  How could something this lovely not turn out even more lovely once applied?  There was more pigmentation in the pan than on the eye.  What did I do wrong?  I suppose I could’ve wet my brush first to see if that made it better, but putting something wet into something dry gives me anxiety, like there’s a never-turning-back event about to happen, and it stops me from doing it.  That’s most likely the #1 reason I hate washing my hair.  Which has nothing to do with this eyeshadow, but still.

I’ll keep playing with it.  I’m determined to not give up.  I’ll do it for my people (that’s you), so you will continue reading (and loving) this blog.

We’re at the end.  You’ve made it.  Now wasn’t that fun?  Be sure to come back again and again cuz I write updates all the time.  You won’t want to miss out on anything.  Trust me.

Nov17

New Beauty Test Tube | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

You wanna know what happens when you go from 70+ degrees on a Monday down to 30 degrees for the rest of the week?  Depression, wearing socks with high heels, and a cold sore.  Awesome.

I need cheering up.  Here’s my New Beauty Test Tube:

IMG_5595.JPG

Guess what?  Still depressed, cold and making horrible fashion decisions.

I’m sorry that I paid $38 for this and only got two good products.  Like I was so severely sorry, that I ended up cancelling my subscription.  You know how much perseverence that required?  I mean, I can barely brush my teeth with my eyes open much less dial a phone number to request a cancellation.  But cancel I did, and oddly enough I don’t even feel guilty about it.  I may be growing up.  Although I still have my husband take my chicken off the bone for me, so probably not.

First item is the Dermalogica Precleanse, which is basically just a cleansing oil used to break up your makeup prior to actually cleansing with real soap.  Seems like a redundant step, but I do it anyway.  If anything, it saves your wash rags from getting more dirty than they actually get.  Although I don’t prefer to use oil but rather a cleansing milk because cleansing milk sounds much more fancy, and I am a princess and that’s how princesses do.  And don’t even try arguing with that kind of logic.

However, the oil.  It was fine.  I’ll use it.  It works just as good as any of the other precleanse products I’ve ever used.  Probably won’t repurchase though because, again, PRINCESS.

Then I got a Donell Lip Saver lip balm.  Excuse me while I go take a nap.  Even the packaging is boring.  The only upside to this is I can use it in the morning before I start my makeup routine.  Other than that, it’s not even coconut flavored.  Boooo.  Next.

Virtually every Test Tube I’ve ever gotten has included a Mally Starlight eyeliner.  That’s probably exaggeration, but it feels like they send one everytime.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t use this product, but they sent me silver (shade name: Starshine), and I already own two other silver eyeliners.  Unfortunately I’m not an eyeliner hoarder (except for black, strangely enough) so this is pretty much a regift.  And also evidence that it was definitely time to move on from the Test Tube.

I actually cared that I received a tube of this John Frieda Frizz-Ease Smoothing Creme seeing as A) it is intended for straight hairstyles, which I have and B) it is also intended for frizzy hair, which I also have.  Seems perfect.  I applied this to mostly my ends, but maybe a little bit higher up than that.  I was scared it was gonna give me goopy hair so I was being a little frugal on how much I put on.  Because nobody has time to rewash their hair, especially someone who can only manage it twice a week.  Thankfully, things worked out.  I did not get goopy hair and my ends actually seemed to be a little smoother.  And on the days where I didn’t wash my hair and simply combed it before work (read: lazy), the ends stayed smoother-looking than normal.  Granted, no miracle was performed or anything, but it was better.  I’m thinking I might take a little risk and apply a bit more just to see what happens.  It may look like I accidentally dipped my hair into a skillet of bacon fat (which I’ve done before, not surprisingly, and which also required two back-to-back hair washings), but I’m going to do it anyway.  It’s for science.  And for this blog.

Next we have a Votivo candle travel tin in the Icy Blue Pine scent.  To save you time (as I know it is precious), I will describe this for you in one word:  NO.  And now we may move on with our lives.  Unless you like the smell of men’s cologne mixed with one of those tree-shaped car fresheners, in which case SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.

I did try to pawn it off to a few co-workers.  It took a bit, but someone did take it.  Pretty sure it had more to do with it being free then it actually smelling good.  I’ve done that before.  Which is how I’ve come home with chip clips from the insurance agency, magnets (also probably from the insurance agency), and Post-It Notes from the office supply cabinet (which actually might be more of a stealing situation than a free one).

You what’s funny?  Making an EMERGENCY trip to Sephora to buy makeup remover wipes only to come home and open the mail and find a pack of Klorane makeup remover wipes in it.  Believe it or not, this happens all the time.  I am excited, though, to try this brand as I absolutely love their hair products.  Plus the packaging is very pretty – nice, calming blue color.  I don’t know why that matters; it just does.  They’re also made with soothing cornflower, which also (mysteriously) makes me want to use them.  So in about 20 days when I’m finished with the emergency wipes, I’ll get started on these and report back.

But back to the real reason why I’m cancelling this box.  I received the Revision Intellishade tinted moisturizer duo, a sample I had previously received a mere 4 boxes ago.  That irritates me var var much.  I paid a lot of money for this subscription hoping for some new products and/or brands to try.  Not sad little repeats like these teeny tiny tubes of BB cream.

Now, this irritation is nothing against the product itself.  It’s actually a very good one.  I used the regular (not matte) version over the weekend, and it gave me a very nice glowing finish (or else it could’ve been the 2 inches of hideous snow reflecting back at me).  The coverage is pretty sheer – I mean, my splotches were evened out slightly, but freckles and pimple scar were out and proud.  I even put two layers on, and eh.  Still there.  However, I do find it very cool that this one shade of BB cream is supposed to work for everyone.  Everyone.  I love products that take out the guesswork.  Plus it has SPF 45 AND won a Beauty Award.  So while I was not thrilled to receive more tubes of this, at least it wasn’t something hideous.

Last product in the tube is the CHI Silk Infusion hair treatment.  I have owned and used this product in the past.  In fact, I gave my daughter a practically unused bottle of this about 6 months ago.  And then, magically, it shows right back up at my house to teach me a lesson.  I didn’t dislike it or anything; I gave it away cuz I had so many new hair samples to try that it was clogging up my hair drawer.  In an effort to tidy up and organize, but see where that gets me?  A brand new bottle to take up space.

I will say that I recall using this several times previously, and I never got that icky dirty hair feeling.  It’s like an oil, but I guess it’s not an oil but rather silk molecules, which until now you didn’t even know existed (trust me, you did not).  In case you don’t know what this stuff does, I will paraphrase for you:  strengthens, heat protects, improves moisture and shine, defends against the environment.  So fiiiiiiine.  Back in the hair drawer you go.  Alongside all those hifalutin’ samples that mostly turned out to be big poo-poos anyway.

Let’s all take a moment to say goodbye to the New Beauty Test Tube.  It was good, but then again, not really.  I did get a free New Beauty magazine subscription out of the deal, which I actually enjoyed very much and have chosen to continue.  So all’s well that ends well.  I can now spend my $38 on things I actually want NEED.

Nov10

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | November 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Don’t you just love it when you frequent a business so much they actually recognize you when you come into the store?  If Sephora was a Starbucks, they’d have my Tall Raspberry Mocha Non-Fat No-Whip all lined up and ready to go.  As a matter of fact, I go in so often they might as well go ahead and get me the Starbucks.  You know, really drive that customer service thing to home plate.

Got my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

IMG_5587.JPG

My face hurts from so much frowning.  Uhhhhnnnn.

I’m on the verge of canceling this box, I think.  I just haven’t been very impressed, or else the impressive boxes are few and far between.  I feel very grown up and responsible for saying this cuz y’all know how much I love my monthly Christmas surprises.  So as soon as I find another box to replace this box, I’ll let this box go.  Might’ve negated my grown up and responsible comment, but I’m not a superhuman.

Let’s start with the Julien Farel Hydrate Restore hair shampoo thing.  I’d already gotten a similar Julien Farel product in a previous Blush box, so imagine my excitement in getting another one. (There isn’t any.) This go round, however, they sent the one for fine hair, which I have. Fiiiiiine. I will accept.

Instructions are just like last time where you apply directly to dry hair then add a little water to make a cream. Massage then rinse. Seems easy, except it’s not. I have really long hair and putting this on it dry is a nightmare. Like, it never feels even; there’s dry hair patches everywhere. If you wanna kick your OCD into high gear, I highly recommend.

And then naturally after all that flashy production, I ended up with very dirty, greasy hair and had to rewash it with regular shampoo. Julien Farel himself told me I used too much. Welllll, you need to put precise measurements on your bottle then. You can’t just tell me to cook fish til it flakes easily with a fork cuz that isn’t a real cooking term. My fellow Virgos are all nodding their heads, I just feel it.

Next product is the Nick Chavez Prickly Pear Restoring Mist.  If I cared enough about hair products, maybe I would be excited for this.  But my hair routine is hardly an event.  I like to put in a leave-in conditioner, maybe a cream to control the frizzies, but other than that, I’m pretty low-maintenance (on the hair front, that is).  However, because I have it and technically I paid for it, I’m using it.  Directions say after shampooing and conditioning, spray onto damp hair on ends and comb through.  Does this sentence confuse anyone else?  Should there be a comma in there somewhere?  Are they saying to spray on damp hair AND on the ends, or just spray on your damp ends?  Oh my gawd, my OCD can’t take it.  Forget it; I hate this product.

And then Blush decides to go over the top with their fabulousness and send me a repeat item that I just received barely a few months ago.  It’s the Laura Geller Cool Lids cream eyeshadow in Silver Sands.  Uhhhhh, delete.  They could’ve at least sent a different color if they were determined to mail this thing out again.  However, I didn’t use the first one so a second one in a different color wouldn’t have mattered one bit.  I’m feeling slightly asshole-ish, so here’s a couple things I actually care about:

1.  SkinMedica TNS Eye Repair – I never hate an eye cream, or at least the receiving of an eye cream.  This one says it improves smoothness and hydration, fine lines and wrinkles, plus the full size price is $98.  I don’t know about you, but expensive skin care gives me hope.  Certainly they wouldn’t price their stuff that high if it doesn’t perform miracles?  Isn’t that like risking a lawsuit or something?  I mean, if I’m paying almost a $100 for an eye cream, I’d be a little pissy if it doesn’t replace my old, crepey eyes for the eyes of a 14-year-old.  As soon as I start using it, I’ll let you know how it goes.  The last SkinMedica product I tried was a pretty good one, so my expectations are high. Bring it.

2.  Nuxe Clarifying Cream Mask – I love trying new masks as you may know (or should know, if you read this blog like a proper human).  I read the benefits on the website, and it says it will clarify skin and refine pores.  I don’t really know what clarifying skin means, but anything that mentions pores, I’m all over.  I just want porcelain skin – is that too much to ask?  How did I even manage to get cavern-like pores, anyway?  I’ve behaved virtually all of my 40 years.  I mean, I didn’t wear sunscreen or wash my face for about 38 of them, but certainly that has nothing to do with it.  In any case, I’ll report back in a future empties post.  I’m trying not to open products until I’m ready to use them, or else I’ll end up speed-using something expensive within a 10-day period before it automatically turns to poison (i.e., expiration date)(i.e., as discussed in this post).

But why revel too much in product that I care about when I can complain some more?  Cuz while the Jane Iredale Eye Gloss is a really pretty color (called Aqua Silk), it is a cream and I do not love.  We’ve discussed this.  However, I gave it a go in an effort to be fair.  Yes, it’s very vivid.  Blends pretty good.  Sheers out well in case you do not want bright turquoise eyelids (I mean, who does?).  But it’s just not my thing.  It could be YOUR thing, though; that’s why I’m writing this blog.  They have a nice little selection of colors if you are so inclined.  I topped the turquoise with a gold shimmer and it made for a really sparkly, pretty look – gold, primarily but with a hint of turquoise peeking through.  So even I can create a masterpiece out of something that is not my favorite.  Obviously, I am a PROFESSIONAL.

And I’m not saying I dislike the Lauren B. Beauty hand cream I got, but, I mean it’s hand cream. Not really anything that’s knocking my socks off or anything. Although it says right on the tube it has antioxidants and retinol in it, and I’m assuming lotion doesn’t do that normally. So I may not necessarily enjoy applying the hand cream, but at some point it might make my wrinkly knuckle skin go away. It probably won’t, but wouldn’t that be nice. And a miracle. Also, I feel it is my responsibility to mention this lotion sank into my hands almost immediately. If you’re gonna be a lotion, might as well be a good one.

Last item in the box is the Miracle Skin Transformer Spotlight, a nice little BB cream full of sparkles and glitter. That’s not a typo. Who is this made for exactly? Twelve year olds? I can’t think of one 40 year old who enjoys a good shimmery BB cream. Well, perhaps I can, but there’s a high possibility they may be drag queens.

In any case, the coverage is pretty sheer although it does even the tone a bit. I own the regular BB cream (or Skin Enhancer, as they prefer to be called), and it’s one of my favorites. So I’m not sad in the least I’m giving the Spotlight away – I already own the best version; no reason to pout.

However, to be clear, the sparkles in the Spotlight aren’t super apparent unless you are in direct sunlight. So if you insist on using this product, make sure you are A) in 7th grade or B) enjoy indoor activities. This is my professional opinion, i.e., 100% accurate and NOT WRONG.

Okay, the end. More boxes to review and hauls forthcoming. Serious, you will love, so come back soon.