Sep25

Lucky 13 Lacquer: Once Upon a Dream Duo (plus extras)

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I don’t even know how it happened.  I was minding my own business – doing nails, obviously – and somehow suddenly found myself in the Men’s section in Macy’s shopping for shorts with my husband.  Did I agree to this?  Was I so involved in what I was doing that I accidentally okayed to hang out amongst the khakis and the polos for nigh on no telling how long?

I do not like shopping.  I may be the only female on the planet to ever say this, but I just don’t.  Who wants to put clothes on just to go roam aimlessly around a shopping mall, surrounded by a crowd of strangers, trying on outfits in the dressing room that a) look better on the rack and b) make you feel bad about yourself?  It’s always that way when when I’m shopping.  I have one of those bodies that look good in about 27% of the things I want to wear.  So shopping, for me, is always a self-esteem meltdown waiting to happen.

However, this time around it was for my husband who was needing clothes for a business trip.  I don’t like this kind of shopping much better.  Did you know they sell zero nail polish in the men’s clothing department?  I know!  It’s so rude.

The only thing good that came about from this trip was a message from Anya with Lucky 13 Lacquer, asking if I’d like to review a few of their polishes.  Ummm, is this Silly Question Day?  Of course I would.

Here is Once Upon a Dream:

Welp, I’m in love.  How gorgeous is this powder blue?  (Very.)  It’s delicate and elegant and all things princess-y.  See that pink shift?  Ugh.  I bet she looks fabulous in all the dressing rooms.  No self-esteem issue here.

But then, there’s holo:

That’s not even in focus, and she still looks pretty dang good.  According to Anya, this polish was inspired by Sleeping Beauty’s dress, caught in the middle of a faerie fight.  I don’t even know what a faerie fight even is, but I’m about 97.947684%  sure I want one.  

Check out this macro:

My eyes!  My eyes!  Too much prettiness in one place.  This polish was a smooooooth two coat perfect little sweetheart.  And I love her.

There’s a gold shift in there too, which makes it even better.  How can we top this?  Is it even possible?

Barely, but yes.  Here’s No Such Thing as True Love:

Less delicate and a billion times more fierce.  Loving this dark plum holo and that amazing green/purple shift.  I’ve always been drawn to darker polishes, so naturally it’s my favorite of the two.  But there’s something more to it than that.  She’s rebellious.  A little dangerous.  Kinda naughty.

You know, my complete opposite.  Unless you count the fact I can make one wine cooler last over 3 hours, then I’d say I won’t be winning any bad girl contests anytime soon.  But this polish makes me feel like I could.

Under the lamps:

Anya was inspired by Maleficent on this one, and I’d say she nailed it.  She’s minxy and magical.  And a bit of a B.

Let’s take a moment for some close-ups:

  

A perfect two coat formula on this one as well.  It’s truly stunning.  You NEED.  That’s not an exaggeration.  Food, water and these two polishes.  Then you’ve officially succeeded at life.

Okay, and maybe some Netflix.  But then after that, you’re all set.

Both of these polishes make up the Once Upon a Dream duo.  You want one, you get the other as well.  That way, there’s no hard decision to make.  I love that!  I don’t enjoy making choices sometimes.  I need other people to do it for me.  Or you end up with over 800+ nail polish bottles.  Decision making (otherwise known as practical constraint) goes out the window with me.  On the other hand, if I leave it up to my husband to help me decide, he’d be like Don’t you already have a purple polish?  And a pink one? A red one?  Well of course I do.  BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

Forget it.  I’ll do my own decision making from now on.  He’s zero fun.

I also received a couple of necessities.  Their Elemental Ward quick dry top coat and the Pop & Peel temporary base coat.

I used the top coat in all of my swatches here, and it’s a nice one.  Definitely dries to the touch in under a minute or so and is very glossy.  So happy to have it!  Couldn’t tell you how it stands up to peeling, tip wear and chips cuz as a bonafide crazy person, I polish my nails like 18 times a day.

As for the Pop & Peel, I loved it!  I use a peel off base coat with every single mani, even the basic manis where I’ve only used a creme polish, no glitter.  I am lazy and refuse to remove nail polish with remover and a cotton ball.  Too much effort involved.  Plus, how will I ever entertain myself on my commute home from work if I can’t peel off my nail polish while I’m supposed to have my hands on the steering wheel?

The instructions for this one is to soak your hands in really hot water for 30 seconds, then peel the polish off with an orange stick under the water.  Those instructions are most likely there for a reason of which I have not yet discovered since I didn’t read them until after I peeled my polish off the old fashioned way with my fingers.  Still worked though.  I’m either a genius or incredibly stupid, but regardless, toots for me!

Last polish I received was a new addition to their Lucky Ladies core collection.  It’s this most amazing neon green called Pretty Like Poison:

As you can see, it’s not your average neon.  It’s loaded with these awesome silver shards that I never knew I needed (but I did!).  They’re so dang cool!  Definitely adds another level to how much I love this shade.  They’re distracting but in a good way.  Unless your boss is trying to talk to you, or maybe you are trying to give a speech to the members of Congress or something.  In that case, it might be best to reserve use of this polish on days when no one plans to talk to you, or when you are wearing pajamas for 16 hours straight, even to Starbucks.  

I just love how those shards catch the light.  You see what I mean by distracting?  You forgot you were reading this blog, didn’t you?  Cuz I forgot I was even writing it.

The round up:

Both the Once Upon a Dream duo and the Lucky Ladies addition will be available at Lucky 13 Lacquers tomorrow so make sure you put it on your to-do list.  Remember, food, water and these polishes.  And Netflix.  Okay, Starbucks too.  Hell, it’ll be Monday.  Get you a Leonardo DiCaprio while you’re at it.  Treat yourself.  You deserve it.

Later, loves.

Sep21

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Fall 2016 Part 2

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I just figured out what marriage is for.

You know how there are times when you are taking a bath, shaving and exfoliating and whatnot, then you lay in there for about an hour falling asleep and watching YouTube videos?

Well, sometimes you wake up and forget where you left off, so you just get out and end up going to bed with soap still on your back.  Only to discover it the next morning with zero minutes extra time to spare to do anything substantial about it.

Needless to say, I got my very first sponge bath.  Hubby kind of gave me a tiny stink eye when I said I needed a washcloth.  And that he needed to get it really hot and rub it all over my back.  And that he needed to do it while I was still sitting in bed because it’s cold out there.  I’m not sure he enjoyed any bit of any of it, but because we are married, that’s the answer to everything that I don’t want to take care of myself.

Like bug killing.  Lawn mowing.  Making me a sandwich.  Doesn’t he know this by now?

While he contemplates, let me tell you about nail polish!  I received more fall polishes from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer, Fall 2016 Part 2 to be exact.  There are four holo beauties made exclusively for Ella Ann Cosmetics, and will go on presale September 24.  Let’s look!

First is called Prey For Me:

Welp, I’m dead.  Dead and hungry for some chocolate.  Do you see that luscious brown?  Another of my favorite fall colors.  Actually, it’s one of my favorite colors ever.  I’m sure there’s a color-code personality test out there having a field day with that.

Under the lamps:

Do you see that holo?  Do you see how pale I am?  Ugh.

Perfect two coat coverage.  Smooth application.  Looks delicious.  I can’t think of any reason why you haven’t bought this polish.  Except for the fact it’s not available yet.  But that point is moot.

Yep, you’re sucked in now.  I’ve officially won the day.  I’m gonna go ahead and get back in pajamas now.

Now here’s Hocus Focus:

Is it blue?  Is it purple?  It’s both.  This one has a mostly blue base but that flash of purple can be seen at all angles.  Lots of pretty holo.  For real, you guys.  You’ll love this one.  Even if brown is your favorite color.

Again, two coats of perfection.  A real pleasure to apply.  And that’s not just me being dorky.  (Okay, maybe a little.)

You can see the purple flash in this macro really good:

She’s lovely!  Also, I’m mesmerized by my own cuticles.  I can’t draw a stick in a straight line, but I dare you to tell me that cuticle line isn’t on point.  Not meaning to toot my own horn, but give me something here.  I got hit in the face with a basketball in sixth grade, so I’ve sat down the rest of my life since.  I need to claim my special skills somewhere.  OCD helps.

Next up is the steely gray beauty, Suffocation:

There’s a slight hint of purple in this one too.  It goes on a bit purple-y taupe-y mauve-y gray-y, which is probably the most amazing display of color description you’ve ever seen.  Well, I am a professional, so …

Just put a -y on the end of everything.  Nobody argues with that kind of logic.  Try it. After you finish with the -ying of all the words, you’ve confused everyone anyway.  They’ll just agree to get you to move on.  It’s pretty-y with a bit of ugly-y, homely-y beautiful-y.  Yep, no one knows what it truly is now.

SHUT UP, BRAIN.

Here’s some holo:

Looks mostly gray under the lights.  Or silver-y.

There’s that bit of purple!  She likes to hide, but she’s in there I promise.  And not that I need to mention it again (but I will in case you’ve skipped the entire beginning of this post for some [stupid] reason), but this is two dreamy coats.  And I love her.  I love her so much.

Last but not least is Butch Gardens:

If that brown one wasn’t in this collection, this teal green would be my favorite.  It’s just such a pretty color.  I thought it looked really nice on the nail, kinda classy despite not being a “traditional” office-y (!) shade.

But honestly, are there office-y shades anymore anyway?  Nail polish just isn’t nude and pink like they used to be.  And thank goodness too.  I do not look classy in nudes.  I look like girl needs a dang vitamin.  Some electrolytes.  Somethin’.

I love the holo on this color:

You better be setting an alarm right about now.  Because if you miss this pre-sale, you will be the saddest most disappointed person in the whole world.  And that’s probably not even an exaggeration because everyone knows there is UTTER HAPPINESS found in these teeny tiny jars.

Well, nail girls know.

Ugh.  Do you see?!  My heart is full.

The round up:

Goodness, those are pretty!  Each one of these polishes applied fully in two coats.  And then I had to physically tear myself away from them because I could’ve sat there all day adding another layer, another layer, another layer .. I was almost in full-fledged crazy mode, but I (somehow) managed to reign it in.

Be sure to stop by Ella Ann Cosmetics this Saturday, September 24 to place your pre-order.  If you find yourself with an effed up priority list and can’t make it Saturday for some reason, the pre-sale will be open until October 1.  Then you can sit back, relax, and wait for your pretties.

Later, loves!

Sep16

Blush Lacquers: Ballroom Bling Collection

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How to tell when you are officially old:

I have successfully replaced the majority of my heels with flats.  Ugh.  I have so many beautiful pairs of heels.  When I wear them, they make me feel tall and skinny.  I could wear my most dowdy of clothes, but pair them with some pretty heels and suddenly I am the Fashion Queen of the Universe. However, recently, my feet and knees just aren’t feeling it.  I sit down a lot during the day (or during life, in general), and when it hurt just to walk to the copy room 20 feet away, I knew it was time.

Cue sad music and tears.  And a pair of black Dr. Scholl’s.  In my defense though, I told my husband that in order for me to maintain my beauty and youthfulness, I needed a pair of Tory Burch flats.  I don’t know how that worked, but it did.  So maybe this new shoe regime isn’t so bad after all.  If I can somehow get my man to buy me designer, I’ll be short and squatty (but with amazing shoes!) all day long.  Does Christian Louboutin make flats?  If so, I’m coming for you!

Let’s talk about polish!  I had the pleasure of swatching another collection from Blush Lacquers, this time it’s Ballroom Bling:

The creator of these beauties, Victoria, used to be a professional ballroom dancer, so obviously this collection needed to be done.  The sparkling dresses, the festive Latin dances, the expressive and sometimes seductive traditional ballroom dances.  This all translates to some of the loveliest polishes you’ll ever see!  Trust me on this one.

And since I’ve been watching Dancing With the Stars for the past 11 years, I’m basically an expert.  Unlike Victoria’s expertise, but pretty close I’m sure.

First one up is this elegant soft blue called Don’t Forget Your Ballgown:

Aaaaaah, well this is soothing.  Such a beautiful, calming, satiny shade.  It’s Cinderella’s dress in a bottle!   There’s a bit of violet shimmer in it which I found a bit hard to capture in photos, but I gave it my best.  Just look real hard – you’ll see it.

I did three coats for opacity, but man was it worth the wait.  Dream. Boat.  There will probably be a Disney Princess nail art project in my future with this one.

And just for funsies, a macro.  Yes, it’s blurry.  But tell me you don’t see that violet now.  Ugh.  Have your eyes ever been happier?

Now let’s go from dainty to daring.  It’s Dance Floor Lovers:

Ummmmmm, yes please.  When’s the last time your nails looked this sexy?  Holy moly.  I love berry wine shades like this.  Soothes my need for dark polishes in a major climactic way.  There’s red shimmer in it, black holo glitter and some scattered holo, and if someone could just paint all my household surfaces with it, I’d be totally fine about that.

Inspired by the Rumba, Victoria’s favorite dance.  Here’s a shot under the lamps so you can see the sparkle better:

And of course, a macro cuz I’m on a roll now!

I physically can’t stop posting pictures.  We may never get to the end of this blog.

Okay, I’m forcing myself to move on.  There are four other stunners to share.  Below is Skintone Rhinestones:

Okay, did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  This lovely little nude has bits of a copper rose hue, but could translate to another shade altogether on the nail depending on your skintone.  I’ve mentioned a billion times before that I don’t prefer nude polishes, but every one that I’ve used recently have been turning my head. Change is hard, people.  But I’m okay this time.

Under the lamps:

Do you see?!  I hope you got your credit cards ready.  This one is coming home to you.  Plus, as nude/neutral polishes tend to be, it would be an excellent contrast to some black stamping nail art.

Are you officially convinced?  Do I need to come over there and wave my nails in your face (i.e., completely acceptable behavior)?  Two more close-ups, just to be safe:

My job here is done.

But here is Mirrorball anyway:

It just gets better and better doesn’t it?  This looks like an actual, real-life mirrorball.  Such a gorgeous silvery-white.  I liked it even more than I thought I would.  Such a smooth application, too.  I’m very excited to use this one again.  I’m picturing all sorts of nail art masterpieces!

Under the lamps:

That shimmer is legit crazy.  I can’t even be clever right now because only half my brain is working.  The other half is hypnotized.

You can really see the silver flakies in the macro. Literally looks like diamonds.  Proof:

The next two polishes are major glitterbombs.  Let’s start with We Like to Move It, Move It:

Full of red, orange, pink, gold and blue holo glitters, this polish can be used as a topper or as a stand-alone full coverage shade when sponged on (which is what I did here).  It looks really blingy in person – it catches ALLLLL the light.  It’s a scene stealer, is what it is.  A Brazilian Carnival, as Victoria mentions.  Definitely.


Next is Jump, Jive and Wail!, a glitter full of sky blue, baby pink, sapphire and silver holographic hexes:

This one is a little more subdued than the previous, although it’s ridiculous sparkly.  Again, it can be used as a topper or a full-coverage polish if you sponge it on.  Toppers make me nervous because I’m too OCD to appreciate them.  Glitters just go wherever on the nail and sometimes they clump together in groups and you have to go pushing them around with the brush to spread them about.  And once you feel like you finally got it, you spend the next few lightyears analyzing your placement.  It’s exhausting.

And long story short, I chose the full-coverage glitter route, clearly.



The round up:

If you love pretty things, you’ll find lots of drool over in Victoria’s shop.  Every polish she makes is amazing.  I own them all, so expert level:  ACHIEVED.

The Ballroom Bling is available RIGHT NOW, so go go go!  There’s a coupon code too for this weekend only – as if you needed more persuasion.  Use MISSINGPC15 at checkout for 15% off your purchase of $27 (three polishes) or more.  Only valid September 16-18.  And then with the money you save, you can buy me a gift card of appreciation because now that you know about Blush Lacquers, your polish game will never be the same.

And then follow me on Instagram, because you are feeling very give-y and kind.

Later, loves!

Sep14

Little Nail Girl: Flashes of Fall Collection

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There is music stuck in my head that I literally can’t get out.  All day, every day, every song.  And it’s not like it’s music that makes any sense as if I’d just heard it on the radio or something.  No, it’s random in the worst possible way.  This evening as I was driving home from work, it started with the Sesame Street theme song, transitioned to Hanson’s MMMBop, then finally settled on She Works Hard For the Money as sung by I don’t even know who.

I could blame it on the acetone I inhaled the previous night for 12 hours straight (swatch party!), but I’ve been doing this for several years now.  Someone can say a word that will trigger a song verse which will stay with me until someone else says a word that triggers a new song.

What happened to the good old days when I would just read a book out loud and in a British accent, even the Southern fiction ones?  Cuz that’s not weird at all.

But we aren’t here to discuss my bizarre personality tics.  You want polish.  So I give.  Here is the new Flashes of Fall collection by Little Nail Girl.  Behold:

All your most happy moments are flooding back to you right now, aren’t they?  Ugh.  Fall colors.  The most comfy, cozy, smile-inducing colors ever invented.  I have no idea how I’ll ever finish this blog post now, what with my eyes closed in ectasy and all.

Except I am a DAMN PROFESSIONAL and that’s what we do.  Soldier on.

When Heather at Little Nail Girl offered to send me this collection for review, she asked for my suggestion for a collection name, as it was, at that moment, nameless.  I was both honored and petrified.  I can only be clever by accident.  When I try on purpose, I’m like that girl who smells her own fingers out of panic.  And then end up telling my male boss I like tube-shaped packages, when I was only referring to an actual tube mailer for a poster, but it came out of my mouth so very very wrong.

However, as soon as the polishes arrived and I fully took in the shimmery, multi-chromey, metallic-y goodness, Flashes of Fall immediately came to me.  And that was the end of that.

First up is the delicious Bronze Have More Fun:

Campfires, turning leaves, crisp air.  What’s not to love about this polish?  It has a surprising depth to it as well, and it’s basically my new favorite color.  It’s also a one-coater and amazingly smooth.  Of course, I did two coats out of habit, but for those who aren’t as annoying as me, you can get away with just one.

I was asked to do some nail art as well, and I knew I had to do something fall-related.  I had just received the new Lovely Leaves stamping plate from Uber Chic Beauty, and this polish practically begged for it.

It’s pretty cute if I do say so.  Do you hear tooting horns?  No worries; it’s just me congratulating myself on a job well done.

The little leaf charm came from Winstonia if you’re interested.  I don’t know if they always have them or if it’s just a seasonal thing, but it came with like 4 leaves and a pumpkin.  Figured I’d better get some use out of them while I can.

Next is a most glorious nude shimmer.  It’s called Skinny Dip, and look how lovely it is!

Had to take two shots of this one so you could see it under the lamps as well.  It’s really just the prettiest nude.  I normally don’t wear polishes this color because my skin is too pale and it doesn’t flatter me at all.  But this one is a warm-toned, golden nude which is PERFECT for gals like me.

That shimmer up close! Heart eyes times a BILLION.

Plus, this shade is the perfect base for some nail art.  I did this autumn tree with falling leaves design:

Again, I used the Lovely Leaves stamping plate from Uber Chic Beauty, which is the perfect plate for the season.  Get it!  But buy this polish first.

Last but not least is this fabulous multi-chrome shade called Ride or Die!:

It’s gray, then it’s purple, then it’s green.  Changes colors with every angle.  I love shifty queens like this.  They’re simply magical.  Pretty much a one-coater on this one too.  Ultra smooth and a joy to apply.  Seriously.  That’s not just me being a super dork.  Sometimes certain polishes will just pull you in.  This is one of them. I want to stick my fingers in everyone’s faces and make them look at my nails.  Except that’s frowned upon in most societies.  Personal space, and whatnot.

Now for something precious:

Look at that little owl baby!  I used another new Uber Chic Beauty stamping plate, Who Give a Hoot, and did a little reverse stamping action.  Happy to say it turned out pretty cute, although this was my second attempt.  First attempt I did my owl upside down.  That’s not annoying AT ALL.

The round up:

Okay, I’m serious when I tell you this – but you HAVE to buy this trio.  It’s non-negotiable at this point, right?  However, if these swatches weren’t enough to convince you AND the fact I named the collection myself weren’t either, then how about a discount code?  People love coupons.  For real, there’s a show about it and everything.  And I’m not even making fun of coupon-ers.  I understand obsessions.  In fact, I understand obsessions like I invented the dang thing.

But back to the point, use my code DSETT for 10% off your purchase of anything in the Little Nail Girl store.  And if you want this collection, it will be available to you on September 16.

Later, loves!

Sep10

Pretty & Polished:  Fall 2016 Collection

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You know I’ve always said:  if you’re gonna be obsessed, be obsessed properly.   Don’t just have a hobby and do it halfway.  I mean, if you’re gonna call yourself a crocheter, you better own ALL the yarn.  Know what I mean?  This is most likely the logic that got me swimming in 800-plus bottles of nail polish.  In my defense, nail polish never goes bad.  Yes, it might get goopy.  Or thermal changing powers may fade.  But it doesn’t turn to poison and that right there is reason enough.

The fact I crocheted a blanket made for one teeny tiny extremely skinny person is beside the point.  I still owned all the yarn.  Anybody need a potholder?  I have like 17,000.

But back to polish!  I recently received the Pretty & Polished Fall 2016 Collection to swatch for you, and believe me when I tell you – you’ll want every single one of them.  There’s 10 polishes to love and drool over, so I suggest you clear your schedule and get in your pjs.  Have some Doritos handy while you’re at it (and maybe a Kit Kat for safety’s sake).  We might be here for a while.

First up is Dark Magic – a dark grey creme with holographic glitter and metallic purple hexes:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  It’s heavenly!  Top photo was taken under direct lighting and the second one was in the lightbox so you can really see those glitters. I did two thin coats for full coverage and two layers of top coat since it dried pretty textured and dull.  But you do what you want.  I’m not the boss of you.

Just kidding!  I am.

Guess who remembered to wrap her tips?!

Next is this mustard yellow love of my life called Fuzzy Sweater:

I am drawn to colors like this as if Leonardo DiCaprio himself was at the end of it.  They’re comfy and cozy and wrap my heart with a hug.  Definitely a perfect fall polish.  Look at those color shifting flakies!  And then just for funsies, I matted it for you:

Kinda cool, right?  Again, I did two coats for full coverage and it was soooooo smooth.  It was hard to put down.  I could’ve easily went to Polish Mountain with this baby.

Macro porn!

Next is Taupe Me Off and Leaf!, a pretty taupe creme filled with brown, gold, silver and copper glitters.  I don’t know about you, but these look like chocolate chip cookies:

Well, it’s a stretch, but you get my drift.  Maybe because the taupe creme reminds me of chocolate milk.  Or maybe those dark brown glitters look l i  k klldghlk …

Who wants cookies?  I want cookies.  Dammit, why aren’t there cookies in this house?!

So I did two regular coats here and one dabbed coat just to fill in any spots that I felt looked too naked.  The glitter payoff is unreal and I had to do very minimal maneuvering.  No fishing either – those glitter babies were everywhere.  Really effortless, which is what I like.  I mean, I wear pajamas to Starbucks so there’s no way in hell I’m fiddling with a bunch of glitter placement.

Ahhhh, so dreamy … But seriously, though:  coooookies …

Okay, so this one might be my favorite:

It’s called I Done Plum Had It! and it’s STUNNING.  Well, I mean, clearly.  Look.  At.  It.  Ugh.  Whoever paired up purple and copper was a billion percent correct.  They are the OG Peanut Butter and Jelly.  Top photo is under direct lights so you can see the glow of those flakies, but the second photo in the lightbox really shows ’em off.  Another excellent fall polish.  In case you didn’t know already:  YOU NEED.

And of course, this blog wouldn’t be proper without one shittily focused macro:

Still pretty though.  Tips = wrapped.  So not a complete fail.  And in case you’re curious (you are), this could easily be a one-and-a-half coater (whatever that is) if you aren’t too picky.  Coverage was excellent.

A fall collection wouldn’t be a fall collection without an orange.  Here’s Patch under the lamps:

Uhhhhhnnnnnnnn.  That’s the sound my brain makes when it can’t think of words.  I love green; it’s my favorite.  But orange!  Orange is right up there.  Plus, this isn’t any ordinary orange, it’s a dusty creme orange.  I love Pretty & Polished’s Dusty Creme line.  Those dark speckles are something you never knew you needed.

Here’s a shot in the lightbox:

Wanna see those specks up close?

Ahhhhh, who just wrapped you up in a big warm blanket and handed you a bunch of kitties?  Cuz this polish is legit happiness.

And now, the amazing Heavy Metal:

This photo was taken under the lightbox and you can really see all the glitz and glamour.  The base is silver and it’s chock full of silver, gold and copper metallic glitters.  There’s also a small sprinkle of flakies, which are good little hide-and-seekers, although I did get a couple on my nails.  And it was so easy to apply.  Two coats of not-goopy perfection!

Very reflective under direct lighting:

Looks like foil!  This would be a perfect going-out polish, you know, for people who go and “do stuff.”  Assuming that includes a The Walking Dead marathon, which is how I prefer to “do” my “stuff.”  Of course, this comes from the girl who gets excited over her new Fruit of the Loom Breathable underwear.  I may not be the best source of info.

Prettiest macro award goes to:

My eyes!  My eyes!

Now for a thermal polish.  I give you Fall in Love a Latte:

This is its warm state, a creamy off white.  Loving this fun glitter mix!  There’s a couple shades of pink, an orange, a turqouise – some of the brighter fall colors.  Consistency was thinner than all the other polishes, but it was very easy to apply.  No streaks!

Here’s the cool state:

Those damn cookies are back.  With sprinkles.  Ugh.

Here’s an excellent warm to cool transition photo that only took 217 tries to get:

Photographing thermals make me nervous.  You know much time I spend trying to get my fingers and nails cold enough to change colors?  Light years, at the minimum.  But I do it for my nailie friends because without you all, I’m just a crazy person with her hand in the freezer.

Then we have Riverside Drive, a luscious almost teal-y blue creme with blue, silver and grey flakies:

One of the prettiest blues you’ve ever seen, yes it is.  Again, ultra smooth and opaque in two coats.  Seriously, this collection was made for people like me (i.e., lazy) cuz I could literally get a mani done in less than 20 minutes – and that includes my OCD-caliber cuticle cleanup.  For real, is that not the longest part?  I can spot a wonky cuticle line from a mile away with my eyes closed.  Not that my cuticles aren’t ever wonky, but you best belive nothing else matters until I can get home to fix it.  Sorry, I’ve got a job to get to?  Not today, Satan.

Now look at this macro:

No words.  Moving on.  Here’s Creme de la Creme:

Another dusty creme!  This time it’s a delicious sandy beige shade, and those black speckles really stand out.  I normally don’t wear colors this light because I’m already so pale – and pale is not a good color for me.  It’s not the delicate Irish Rose kind of pale.  It’s more of the IT’S TOO HOT OUTSIDE, I’M GONNA SIT ON THE COUCH AND WEAR A BLANKET WITH THE A/C ON kind of white.  Or the I DON’T LOOK GOOD SWEATY kind.  Maybe a skosh of the INDOOR ACTIVITIES ARE THE BEST ACTIVITIES sort.

Long story short:  I don’t get out much.

Again, two coats of perfection!  I can’t think of any reason why you’re not buying these.

Last but not least, I give you this lilac thermal called Lavendarling and about .000027% of my attempts at photographing:

If you guessed I was sitting on my floor next to the air conditioning vent with my hand in a cup of ice water, having anxiety, you would be correct.  I just wanted to show you the best pictures I could get of this gorgeous color-changer.  The fact I about had a panic attack just shows you the depth of my love.

The below lilac is the warm state, which is how I found it looked on my nail most often.  Once cold, it turns to a deeper purple.  The transition happens quickly and changes quickly back – or at least on me it did.  At one point it was like a race between me and this polish.  I’m pretty sure I won.

And of course, the requisite macro. Look at those precious pink and blue flakes.  And a bit of holo.  It’s a very girly, sweet polish.

The round up:

If you think I went out and bought a mum just to shoot this lovely collage, well how transparent do you think I am?  (Very.)  Enjoy it, cuz this plant has about 5 days until I kill it with my impressive gardening skills.

This entire 10-piece collection is available first at Polish Con in Chicago on September 17 in case you’re going or happen to be wandering past a bunch of crazies hauling shopping bags of nail polish out of a building – go in there!  For all the rest of us who aren’t as lucky, you can snag these beauties on the Pretty & Polished website on September 23.  Thermals are $9, glitters and flakies are $8.50 and dusty crèmes are $7.50.  Full collection will go for $78 and qualify for free shipping.

Thanks for reading this massive post all the way to very end.  You make my spending 18 billion hours on my iPad writing this thing totally and completely worth it.  Internet hugs and kisses for everyone.  Well, just the cute ones.

Later, loves!

Aug29

Blush Lacquers – Power and Beauty Collection

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If you ever want to know how old you really are, try going to a Coldplay concert.  You know, all I wanted to do was just sit in my chair and enjoy some music.  When did people start standing throughout an entire 4 hour concert?  Ugh.  Mama’s tired.

I tried to be cool about it – I mean, it was Coldplay after all.  When Chris Martin tells you to “get low, get low” you think, FINALLY! And then sit back down in your seat.  That was not the point.  You “get low” to “jump back up real fast” apparently.  Yeah, I was feeling slightly out of place. I’m not ready to be old, you guys!  My 42nd birthday is tomorrow.  Certainly, I have a few more years before I am forced to go see a Barry Manilow show? (No offense to those who actually go see Barry Manilow for fun.  I’m just assuming there’s lots of sitting opportunities there .. )

But back to the whole reason for this post – I picked up the entire Blush Lacquers Power and Beauty collection a couple weeks ago and then did a marathon swatching sesh just for all my nailie friends.  I promise you, it physically hurt to remove some of the colors just so I could put on the next one.  I might’ve cried a little at the orange one.  There’s no shame in that.  You nail girls know.


The entire line all displayed out for you like I’m a dang professional photographer or something. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact I saw I huge furry caterpillar about .25 seconds before I took this shot and somehow ended up with this not-blurry picture.  For real though.  I know that caterpillar was about to kill me.

First up is this most stunning caramel orange called Fight Like a Goddess, named after Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom and War.  I.  Can’t.  Even.  I loooooove colors like this.  Almost makes me second guess green as my favorite color.  It’s so warm and cozy and comforting.

See, I told you!  It also has a pink to gold shift at certain angles and these pretty copper and black holographic glitters.  Here’s a (badly photographed) macro:

It’s hard to capture the true beauty of a polish with just your iPhone and a $5 clip-on macro lens.  But hopefully you can see all the glitters and the shifting shimmer.  On the nail, it is seriously gorgeous.  I did two coats and it was smooth smooth smooth.

Next is this pale blue beauty called Moonlight Huntress, named after Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt and the Moon:

Normally I don’t wear polishes this light, but man, it’s soooo pretty!  It’s the perfect moonlight shade isn’t it?  Or like gossamer.  Or air.  Those iridescent flakies are to die for.  Look at them:

Again, not the best macro but you get the point.  They look like tiny chips of pearl.  If you’re into delicate polishes like this, it would be awesome in your collection.  I did three thin coats and got pretty good opacity.  Although they don’t market it as a fully opaque shade.  And if you’re into nail stamping or nail art, I can totally see someone making butterfly wings out of this.

Just noticed there is a speck of orange in my macro.  Pretty sure that’s a Doritos crumb.  Oops.

Then there’s this:

My heart swells looking at this, like I invented it myself or something.  This one is called Eye of the Soul, named after Psyche, the Goddess of the Soul.  And I’m pretty sure my soul is exactly this color, so good job Blush Lacquers – you nailed it!

Base is a medium lavender with this amazing mint green shimmer.  Goes on so smooth and super shiny.  I did three thin coats, primarily cuz I couldn’t stop polishing.  How could I?  Just look at it:

If you noticed that’s a much better macro, you are correct.  This one definitely played nice with my camera.

Next up is the biggest surprise for me.  It’s called Of Seas and Shells, named after Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, borne from a giant clamshell:

I honestly thought this was going to be just a nice beige polish, but it is so much more than that.  I got it on my nail and I was like, hello beautiful!  Most perfect beige ever!  Actually, it’s more of a golden taupe-y, khaki, wet sand shade (as Victoria from Blush Lacquers puts it).  And it’s true.  Looks exactly like the beach at Hilton Head where I went for vacation last fall.  How she got that translated into a polish – well that’s some straight up voodoo.

Look at those delicate pink flakies.  For real, you guys.  This is one of the prettiest little surprises I’ve seen in a while.  Buy it!

And then we have THIS.  Below is Life in the Underworld, named after Persephone, Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld.  I soooo love dark polishes – they are my favorite kinds – and this blackened blue is probably my second fave of the collection.

Mmmmm, red glitters!  I was so mesmerized, I took the shittiest macro and didn’t even realize it:

Hahah, someone needs to watch a YouTube video or something.  Certainly there’s a How-To Not Take an Ugly Macro clip on there.  I mean, if it’ll teach me how to make a tiny Happy Meal out of powder and water, then someone’s put up a macro tutorial, surely.

Okay, last but not least – this peacock/mermaid glitter bomb called Queen of Gods, named after Hera, the Goddess of Marriage and Children and Queen of Olympus:

Ugh.  My eyes!  This is only two coats over a naked nail.  The glitter payout is AH. MA. ZING.  I did do some manually placed glitters around the cuticle line to make it nice and neat, because I have OCD and knew I’d spend 17 hours obsessing over anything less than that.  But I was quite impressed with this polish.  It can be a topper, sure, but it works fantastically on its own.  Super smooth application as well.  Hooray!

I took the below photo outside in natural lighting to show you a variation of how the glitters can look.  I’m still wearing this polish and it looks more like this than in the above picture.  Unless you’re carrying an LED lamp around with you all day (turned on, of course), the below might be the best representation of real life.

Best macro of the day award goes to this one:

That’s a ton of blue, purple, green, brown, gold and silver, wouldn’t you say?  Yes you would.

The round up:

Blush Lacquers is a relatively new indie brand (debuted in June), and every polish I’ve purchased from them have all been unique, exquisitely crafted and simply beautiful.  Not one bad formula either!  I highly recommend you head over to their shop to purchase this collection – or any of their other polishes for that matter.  You will be so happy you did, and then you will overwhelm me with gift cards of gratitude!  (Right?)

Later, loves!

Aug24

SwatchFest 2016 – Octopus Party Nail Lacquer

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Oh my goodness, is this thing still on?  *taps mic*

If you guessed I’ve been hiding out in my lady cave for the past 15 months polishing my nails like someone was paying me to do it – you’d be right.  Mama’s in full-blown obsession mode and I can’t seem to find my way out.  Not that I’ve tried or anything, but that’s how I justify 800+ bottles of nail polish to my husband:

“I’m stuck.  It’s not my fault.”

He barely blinks his eyes at it now.  As long as I don’t change the channel while he’s watching his football show, I think I can get away with pretty much anything.

So Dave from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer recently contacted me about swatching a couple of colors of their new Fall 2016 collection.  Lemme tell you, fall colors are my faaaaaavorite.  Not necessarily fall weather because the lurking of winter ruins that for me, but fall colors have my heart.  Greens, burgundys, plums, oranges, chocolate-y browns.  Ugh.  Heart eyes times a billion.

Here are the two colors he sent:


Left side is Red Blood Sells and on the right is Swamped.  Both colors are beautiful (as you can clearly see).  Let’s do some close-ups, k?

First is Red Blood Sells:



This is a brown-leaning burgundy linear holographic with red flakies.  Top photo is taken in my light box and shows off the truest color and bits of flakie.  Middle photo was taken under a daylight lamp and pulls much more holographic.  And then I threw a macro in there so you can see the sparklies up close, but also as a reminder to myself to NEVER FORGET TO WRAP MY TIPS.  Sorry about that.  I’m working on it, I swear.  Ask me how many times I’ve wrapped my tips in my life prior to 15 months ago when I could throw a nail polish in the trash and never shed a tear.  Seriously ask me.  The answer is ZERO.  Sometimes habits like that are hard to break.

Next color is Swamped:



This is a black-leaning olive green linear holographic.  Again, top photo was taken in my light box, which is pretty, but it’s that middle picture under my daylight lamp that gives me major feels. I looooove that holo and how deep and rich it looks.  Literally, someone could give me a choice between a big bowl of mashed potatoes (with gravy) or one nail painted with this green polish, and I’d have to think on it for about 1.27 seconds.  Mashed potatoes are my happy place in case you didn’t know.  But I can never pass up a pretty green mani.

And not to toot my own horn, but I remembered to wrap my tips on the green macro.  I love it when I do things the right way.  I deserve a prize.  Nail polish and/or nail polish gift cards – or even actual paper money for nail polish – are accepted.  I’m not picky.  I’m very simple to please.  If it’s nail polish-shaped, chances are, we’ll be best friends for life.

Both polishes are ultra smooth and opaque in two coats.  Totally worth a look.  You neeeeeed.  For real, I’m not even joking.  It’s not a $50 Tom Ford lipstick this time, so you can trust me.  Not that you didn’t need that Tom Ford lipstick, but you can buy four polishes for the price of one lipstick – and who’s gonna argue with that kind of logic?

These two polishes, along with two others that are part of the collection, are available for pre-sale until Saturday, August 26 so be sure to get your name on the list!  Click here to buy.  Also, feel free to check out my Instagram cuz all the cool people are doing it.

Later, loves!

Mar24

SwatchFest 2016 – Little Nail Girl

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So after painting my nails nonstop for about nine months, I figured maybe it was time I share my new-honed talents with the world.  I’m quite proud of how far I’ve come.  Remember the good ol’ days when someone had to literally force me to buy a bottle of nail polish?  You might as well have asked me would I rather stab hot toothpicks in my eyeball.  Fiiiiiiiiine.  I choose nail polish.  Pfffft.

But then something super weird happened.  I watched a YouTube video of someone taking a horribly polished hand and transforming it into something magical and model-y with just a tiny brush and some acetone.  That spoke to me, people.  My OCD was soothed like someone poured a warm Butterscotch Schnapps coffee with whipped cream all over it.  Like, who just wrapped me up in a toasty blanket and handed me a whole bunch of baby kitties?  For real, y’all.

Fast forward to today where I am the proud (and obsessive, but only slight) owner of roughly 600 bottles of nail polish.  Paid for and lovingly stored as if they were my own children.  I have grown my Instagram by thousands and made tons of new nailie friends.  I’ve learned how to polish properly, the joys of nail vinyls and how fast watermarbling can turn a good day into a bad one (verrrrry fast, if you’re curious).

Now that we’ve covered that, you know where I am in life.  Sitting at the nail table (i.e., former kitchen table) most likely.  Surrounded by everything that makes me happy.  Doing swatches of nail polish and posting on Instagram like someone is paying me for it.  They’re not, although I’m completely open to that as a career if anyone is interested.  Also, I take gift cards.

But let’s get down to business, shall we?  I received a couple of polishes from this cute online boutique called Little Nail Girl.  Currently they have about 32 polishes in their line in a variety of finishes.  Here’s what I received:

If your first reaction was a speechless jaw-drop, we can be best friends and soul mates for life.  They’re glorious!  I couldn’t wait to get them on my nails.  About 2.5 seconds later, this happened:


This first one is called Kimmie.  It’s a classic red cream, ultra smooth and super shiny.  I couldn’t believe how fabulous this went on and how pretty my hands looked after.  Seriously, why isn’t someone paying me?  These nails are heartbreakers, I swear.

Swatch shows two coats, but some could get away with one.  It had excellent coverage.  Other less picky people could probably do one coat, even.  I did two out of habit.  And please tell me you noticed that glassy shine.  I didn’t even need to do top coat really, other than the fact I wanted my nails to dry quicker.  Cuz nothing says I suddenly got ten billion things to do like ten freshly polished (and still wet) nails.  Quick dry top coat literally saves me.

Then I decided to dress the whole thing up a bit:

Are you dying?!  I love the look of this gray and red together. I used a floral watermarble stencil from Twinkled T, which I highly recommend.  If actual watermarble gives you hives, try the stencil instead.  Yes, it’s cheating but of the best kind. It’s watermarble for lazy people. And it usually turns out better anyway.

Next is this bright ocean blue called Korinna:

  

Okay now I’m really dying. This blue is everything.  So pretty and the formula was every bit as good as the red one.  Two coats and an unnecessary layer of top coat cuz the shine on this is ridiculous.  It’s a blue dream, a pool of deliciousness.  I want to stick my fingers in everyone’s face and say look at it.  Except society says that is not allowed.

More nail art:

Were you thinking daisies would be perfect? Cuz that’s where my mind immediately went. I stamped a single daisy image all over my nails with one of my Uber Chic plates and added some bright yellow dots. And there you have an epitome of springtime right at your fingertips. Literally what more could you want in life – food, water and a daisy mani. All set.  Give me a pair of pajamas and I’m seriously never leaving my nail table again.

Thank you, Little Nail Girl, for sending these lovely polishes for review. I’m telling all my friends to buy your stuff – cuz it’s pretty and wonderful, vegan and eco-friendly. And who doesn’t love all that? (Crazy people.)

Mar16

Buying Stuff: Blush Edition

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You won’t even believe what I’ve been up to.  Remember that time not too long ago where I was addicted to makeup and bought Tom Ford lipstick for $50 because that made perfect logical sense?  Well, of course it still does cuz you can’t fix crazy that easily, but that is not the point of this post.  The point is that I now own almost 600 bottles of nail polish and I’m thinking I probably need like 94576946 more.  Give or take.

Who am I?!

While you contemplate, let’s talk about some blush I bought.  I’ve been using these for the past few months, and I have some things to say.  Probably nothing that interesting, but let’s just pretend, shall we?  You read this blog for a reason and most likely it’s not for the scientific value.

First up is the NARS Dual Intensity blush in the shade Fervor:

This is the prettiest one out of the bunch in my opinion.  The darker pink is so shimmery and practically metallic, that only someone blind could turn their back on it.  The lighter pink is more of a highlight, as it doesn’t lend too much color payoff – if any at all.  However, as a whole, it’s pretty.  I swirl my brush over both colors so the light pink doesn’t feel left out.  And despite the intense foil of the dark pink, you don’t end up with prostitute-y cheeks like you’d expect.  You don’t get much product on your brush, especially if you use one with loose bristles.  That could be a good or bad thing depending on what you’re going for.

Something else about these blushes is they could also be used wet.  That sounds like a lot of effort, and honestly, I’m not getting up any earlier in the morning just so I can apply my dry blush wet.  But apparently it gives you a more high-impact flush.  If you’re into that, then by all means.  If you’re like me (i.e., lazy), we’ll just move on.

I bought these two Colourpop Super Shock blushes in shades Pre-Nup (pink) and Between the Sheets (peach):

And I freaking love them.  They’re like 8 dollars, which proves you don’t need to spend your paycheck on fancy names just to get something quality.  Never mind that comment on the Tom Ford lipstick.

These are cream blushes and super easy to use.  I don’t know about you, but cream blushes give me the hives.  They make me nervous.  There’s a point of no return as soon as your fingers hit your cheek.  Either it’s going to turn out fabulous or you’re forced to sport clown cheeks all day – there’s nothing in between.  You get like 1.2967 seconds to blend as if your life depended on it (it does), and if you fail, the color is locked in place in whatever direction you’ve left it.  Aaaack!  I cannot deal with that kind of pressure.  I may start blending with every intention of continuing to blend, but I get sidetracked easily.  In other words, I need locked in a window-less room so I can do things properly.

So if you suck at cream blush, try these.  Buy yourself a stipple brush, like the small one from e.l.f. or the pretty pink one from Real Techniques.  They are your saving grace, trust me.  Swirl the brush in the product and then onto your cheeks as if you are applying powder.  It’s magical.  The fear is gone.  You’ll never shy away from cream blush again.

Anyway, back to the point (there is one), these Colourpop blushes are awesome.  My favorite is Pre-Nup, the pink one.  It looks so natural and lovely on the cheeks.  I highly recommend it, especially if you have a hard time picking.  Just toss this in your cart and be done with it.  You can thank me by reading this blog and following me on Instagram.  Or sending gift cards.

Sometimes I have a severe lack of judgement.  Behold, the By Terry Terrybly Densiliss blush in Nude Dance:

I can’t even excuse myself because I used a coupon cuz I absolutely did not.  I paid $70 for this for no other apparent reason than clinical insanity.  In my quest to own all the things I’ve gone mental.  Who buys a blush for $70?  Crazy people and billionaires.  That’s it.

In my defense, this blush is STUNNING.  Everything about it from packaging to final result is top notch.  The silver metal compact weighs about 10 pounds (probably) and feels so substantial in your hand.  Like if you just want to know how much luxury weighs, then go hold a By Terry blush for a second.  Good gracious, it’s fancy.  Even the little blush brush it comes with is quite precious.  I’ll never use it, but it’s precious nonetheless.  The blush itself is a very flattering nude peachy pink.  It lasts all day long and looks completely natural and glowy.  I really do love it.  But is it worth the $70 price tag?  Welllllllll, you can most definitely find something you love that is cheaper.  But if you just want to own a piece of artwork, I’d say $70 is a pretty good deal.  Serious, hold the compact in your hand.  You’ll understand.

Next up is the Stila Aqua Glow Watercolor blush in Water Lily:

This is an interesting product as you can see from the pictures.  I will admit the uniqueness of it is the only reason I forced myself into using a liquid blush – a billion times scarier than using a cream blush.  But the word “watercolor” got me and the little mesh screen that separates the product from the outside word sucked me right in.

I haven’t used this as much as I thought I might.  It’s not difficult as expected – due 100% to the fact I used a stipple brush to apply it.  A little goes a very long way, so be careful.  But it just wasn’t as exciting as my imagination made it out to be.  The color is beautiful – you see that gold sheen? – but once it’s on your cheeks, it’s pretty sheer and kind of appeared flat on me.  It does last all day (it’s pretty much a stain), but other than that it’s been collecting a nice sheen of dust for the last few months.

Here is Marc Jacobs Shameless Bold Blush in Irresistible:

Look at that gorgeous orange!  It’s definitely a bold, fun color.  But how does it look on the cheeks?  Well, it’s certainly not this vibrant – which is a good thing unless you bought it for a specific Halloweeny-slash-Clown-Disguise type situation.  In fact, it’s so subtle, I about broke a brush in it trying to pick up product.  That’s an exaggeration but only slight.  It’s truly a vague wash of color; nothing drastic.  I like it but it definitely makes you work for it.

And now, last but not least:  the Becca mineral blush in Songbird:

Now THIS is a pretty blush!  Don’t you just want to dip your aqua-tipped fingers in it?  I do (and might still).  This is possibly my absolute favorite.  It’s pretty neutral but also warm.  I’m on the medium side of light, and this flatters my skin tone very much.  It’s pigmented but buildable.  And it’s enriched with antioxidants so it’s healthy for you!  There are 6 colors in the line, but this one is by far the best one.  Trust me: I’m an expert.

And I know ya’ll are staring at my nail polish and also maybe the chipped parts and the hang nail.  Number one, I’ve had lots of practice since this photo was taken and now my nails look like they need their own insurance policy (cuz they are moneymakers).  And number two, you can go buy this polish from Live Love Polish by clicking here.  It’s Floss Gloss in the shade Wet and it is fabulous.

Well that’s it guys.  My first blog post in eons.  Hope you enjoyed it and you read all the way to the bottom like a true friend.  I’m going to start doing more nail polish reviews and swatch photos on here because I have to justify lining my 3rd bedroom’s walls with polish racks – otherwise, hubby doesn’t understand the purpose of 600 bottles.  Why, I have no clue.  Cuz he bought an elliptical.  For exercising.  So everything that happens after immediately gets a pass.  Sorry, them’s the rules.

Back soon!

Oct30

Empties | Summer 2015

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I’m not even gonna lie.  I’ve been polishing my nails for 90 some odd days straight and I haven’t functioned as a proper human being since.  In fact, I’ve unknowingly wore my underwear inside out for the past 13 hours.  If I can’t manage that, how do you expect me to blog?  Someone needs to come prioritize my life for me.  And also take away my internet cuz y’all know I’ve got almost 400 bottles of nail polish now because I AM AN EXTREMELY NORMAL PERSON.

But first, some empties.  This is a compilation of some stuff I used up over the summer.  I have another bag of empties to go through in a separate post, but wanted to go ahead and get this up for you now.  Because I may be a very lazy blogger as of late, but I still know what responsibilities look like.  You love me, oh yes you do.  Here’s serums:


I got this little jar of Ole Henriksen Invigorating Night Gel in a kit over a year ago.  I took a long time to get to it cuz I’ll admit I’m attracted to little kits way before I’m ever ready to use them.  I had to throw away the eye gel because it solidified into a single gelatinous piece – like one of those toy boogers that little kids play with.  But the night gel was still safe, although that toy booger thing should’ve made me think twice.  I used it anyway and I must say it was the most boring serum in all the land.  It went on cool and wet, dried down slightly tacky, and left ZERO moisturization on my skin.   Spell check is telling me “moisturization” is not a word, but it should be.  It describes this serum perfectly.

(But seriously, that’s not a word?  I swear it is.)

One serum I did like was the Shiseido Glow Revival.  I don’t know what’s in this, but it’s pink, pearly and silky soft.  There’s something to be said about texture, because while this serum claims to give you a glowing complexion, none of that truly matters.  Cuz it literally melts into your skin and I. AM. DONE.  For real, here’s my paycheck for the next 10 years, gimme all the serum.

Then of course we will end the serums section with a bit of a bummer.  The Origins Plantscription serum has only one interesting thing going for it and that is:  it’s green.  Kind of rare in a skincare product.  Apparently it’s pretty powerful though.  It claims to reduce lines and wrinkles in a mere two weeks and that is because they traveled all around the world and found 20 of the best anti-aging plant extracts and put ’em in the tube.  I mean, that’s what they said anyway.  I used this less than two weeks, so what do I know?

Now, stuff for head and hands:


I love me some dry shampoo.  And the whiter the powder the better, cuz my greasy roots can get ridiculous.  I had a dry shampoo emergency not too long ago (yes, those exist) and picked up the TIGI Bed Head Rockaholic Dirty Secret at Target because I was too lazy to drive across the street to Ulta for my Batiste.  The only way I could marginally be convinced to go out of my way would be if Leonardo DiCaprio was waiting at the door with a Starbucks in his hand.  I’d pretty much do anything for that.

So I used this entire can of Bed Head, and let me just say BEING LAZY DOES NOT PAY.  Nothing beats my Batiste, y’all.  Cuz if you are a fan of white powder like me, then Bed Head will disappoint.  I’m not saying everybody won’t like it – if you prefer less white or even clear powder, this would probably be okay.  You’d be WRONG, but that’s beside the point.

Finally used up this tube of Camille Beckman Imperial Repair hand therapy.  I got it about a year ago (ish) and you can read how excited I was by clicking here.  Now that I’ve finished it, my opinion has changed just slightly.  After the novelty of squeezing this out of the tube had waned, I was able to focus my attention on the product itself.  It’s very emollient.  If your hands aren’t particularly dry, it may take a hot minute for the lotion to absorb.  So throughout the summer, I had a bad case of lotion hands every time I’d use it.  I did put a big dollop on top of a crusty cuticle and it helped soften it up real good.  But I probably won’t repurchase unless someone leaves me out in the wind too long.  I don’t know how that would even happen unless it involved Leonardo DiCaprio somehow.  Because LEONARDO DICAPRIO.  We’ve been over this.

One of the best inventions ever created are the Cutex Advanced Revival nail polish remover pads.  Now, there are other remover pads by other brands, but I swear this one is the best.  The pad is super wet and I can do all ten fingernails quickly and with no problem.  I tried to go generic on this one cuz Walmart carries an Equate equivalent, but they are definitely not the same.  I couldn’t get all my fingers done with the Equate one as it dried out too quick.  Save the hassle and just pay the higher price.  JUST DO IT.  Cuz I am the boss of you.

Face stuff:


Another victim of the little kit situation.  I think I owned the Michael Todd True Organics anti-aging kit for about two years before finally delving in.  I’m assuming the Skin Defender AHA cleanser hadn’t turned to poison because I’m currently alive and writing a blog post.  However, I will say that this cleanser really wasn’t worth the risk of my face falling off.  There was nothing special about it.  It didn’t even smell particularly good.  Yes, there’s AHA in it that exfoliates your skin and brightens the complexion among other anti-aging things.  But it could’ve at least smelled like coconuts or something.  And because of that reason, I’m over it.

I did enjoy the Ole Henriksen African Red Tea foaming cleanser, though.  Smelled kind of fruity and the foam was nice.  Plus it won a Natural Health Beauty Award, and I don’t know what that is but they said award and so I can’t concentrate on anything else.  For those who aren’t as easily persuaded, it’s chock full of antioxidants and AFRICAN RED TEA, which makes it exotic and now you want it.  You do; don’t lie.

I really enjoyed this packet of the Erborian Pate au Ginseng black mask.  It is syrupy like molasses and more of a sheer dark brown than black, but who’s paying attention to that other than me?  This stuff is made from ginseng root, and according to Erborian, it’s been used to fight signs of aging for centuries.  I don’t know about all that because the only way to tell if something is working is if it has the word “whipped”, “parfait”, or “velvet” on the bottle.  And now perhaps “syrup” cuz my face felt pretty smooth after and I liked using it.

Now for eyes and lips:

I’ve reviewed the Dr. Brandt Glow retinol eye cream already – I just included it in the photo because it took me 8 SOLID MONTHS to finish.  I was bored wayyyy before that.  It’s not a bad product though. If you’d like to read all about it, click here.

This Tarte Maracuja lip exfoliator was the first exfoliator I ever used.  I had it for two years and it kind of got lost in the shuffle surrounded by other lip exfoliators I just had to have.  So it’s technically not an empty, but it had dried out on me.  But before all that, I did like it very much.  It was pepperminty and very gentle, but there was plenty of little scrubbers in it.  Someone at Ulta told me I could eat the scrubbers off my lips when I was done and I looked at her like she misunderstood what a lip exfoliator was.  Yes, maybe it’s edible (maybe it’s not) but there’s also dead lip skin mixed in it and I don’t know about you, but that hurts my tummy just thinking about it.  Peppermint flavored dead lip skin or not – no thank you.  But despite all that, no matter if the idea bothers you or not, just please don’t eat it.  That Ulta lady may be really crazy.  She may also eat toilet paper and cat food for all we know.  And I don’t want any one to die because then who else is going to read my blog?

Okay, this Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair eye cream is one of my favorite eye creams.  It feels so good under the eyes.  Kind of silky, and it absorbs right in.  I could swear it’s made a difference, but I do know how that psychological brain trickery works.  I’d definitely be the one that’s cured of all my anxiety by taking a placebo.  I put that much faith in things.  But regardless, I will repurchase this eye cream.  I thought it was lovely.  And no matter if it fixes my eye wrinkles or not, it makes me feel like it does and sometimes that’s what counts.

Clearly, I’ve been brainwashed.

Let’s do makeup:

I don’t remember a thing about the Sulwhasoo Snowise Brightening Serum BB.  How’s that for honesty?  I used it and nothing bad happened.  Does that help at all?  No?  Moving on.

Ugh. Fiiiiine.  It’s a BB cream that will brighten your skin and protect it from both light and heat.  It promotes a clear and bright complexion; it has SPF 50+.  And in comes in two beige-y shades.  I stole all that from the internet, except for the term beige-y which is a word I might possibly have made up.

One of my most coveted products of all time is the Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz. I don’t even know what it is exactly that makes it my favorite – it just is.  One end has a really nice spoolie brush and the other has the pencil.  It twists up, and the tip is very small so it’s super easy to use.  The only bad part is there is zero warning when the pencil runs out, it just literally won’t click up anymore.  That means, there’s a 97.0576% chance you’re going to have a future eyebrow emergency.  So I’m letting you know now: plan ahead and buy two.

I owned this Teeez Trendy Desert Metals mascara wayyyy longer than I should have.  Like maybe two years.  And I used it right up to the point where I threw it in my empties bin.  Pretty sure that might be verging on gross.  In my defense, because I own 27 other mascaras, I didn’t open this tube all that often.  I probably technically only used it 15-20 times.  So certainly that’s less gross?  While you decide, let me tell you about this mascara.  It has a thick cone shaped brush.  The tip of it could really get into the corner of your eye and get those baby lashes.  I thought it gave nice volume and decent length – but mostly volume.  I’d buy this tube again.  Except not for awhile because I still have all those other aforementioned mascaras.  Expired, but still.

Last item in the bag is this Smashbox Photo Finish lid primer.  This is my second tube.  I really like it, although I think I liked it better during the first tube.  This is a tinted primer, so it puts a little peach color on your lids.  It covers up veins and makes everything look smooth, which is my favorite part.  The second tube I purchased, my left eyelid had some creasing every now and then.  Not sure if it was from the primer or because I am getting old and more droopy.  I don’t think I’m going to buy another tube, though.  I’m going to go back to my Urban Decay Primer Potion because I like that one the best.

Oh my gawd, that entire post took two months to write.  You can only imagine how busy I’ve been, working so hard during the day and watching YouTube videos at night.  No wonder I can’t get any blogging done.  If you wanna catch a glimmer of what I’ve been up to though, take a little peek at my Instagram.  Go on, I’ll wait …

NONE of that stuff happens while sitting on a couch typing on an iPad.  You have to be sitting at a kitchen table at the very least.  Still in pajamas though, after all, we are still referring to ME.  If you’d like, you can give my little Instagram a follow to keep up with all the excitement.  And I will be back on the blog, I promise.  Maybe a little re-vamped version of the blog, but on the blog nonetheless.

Bye lovelies!  Thank you for still being here.