Tag Archives: birchbox

Birchbox | August 2014


I have been a subscriber to Birchbox for a year now so they just sent me a 25% off coupon. I spent 3 hours deciding on what to get.

I really should have more responsibilities in life.

Here’s my August Birchbox:


Let’s get the big boo out of the way first. It’s the Catherine Malandrino Style de Paris perfume. Now, I feel like I say this every time but I’m gonna say it again. This is not against this particular perfume. I just don’t wear perfume and therefore not interested in getting samples. So when I get one in my box, my face immediately goes like this: -__-

But I know some of you adore perfume, and as a professional I feel it is my duty to inform you this is a Birchbox exclusive (at this time anyway) and it smells like mandarin, grapefruit, and pear. I mean, I didn’t smell it myself or anything, but that’s what it says on the website. Again, PROFESSIONAL. Thank you.

Next is a little tube of SeaRx Birchsap Moisturizing Lotion. I don’t know what birchsap is, but I really liked this lotion. It was very light and had a nice subtle scent. You can use it on your face or body, so it’s a multi-tasker, if you’re into those types. It absorbed really quick with no sticky film left behind. I would totally buy a full size of this if I had an extra $28 lying around and nothing else on my shopping list.

I chose to apply it to my body, and because of this decision I was only able to use this lotion twice before it ran out. But I had a great time those two days. And despite saying that, I’m an extremely cool person.

Birchbox has been trying out something new for the past couple months where they’ve been letting us pick out one of our items. I really like this cuz, while I enjoy a good surprise, sometimes it’s nice just to know, ya know? Well anyway, I selected this Noir Longwear black eyeliner not because I need more black eyeliner but because out of the 4 choices available I already owned 2 and the other was something stupid.

What can I say about a black eyeliner that hasn’t already been said? It’s black. Glides on. Stays put. Other than that, it’s pretty basic. I didn’t feel like it darkened up my waterline as much as my Sumita or the L’oreal Silkissime did. So for that reason alone it’s not my favorite and I won’t use it as often as the others. Unless I’m going for a not-as-black waterline look. Which I hardly ever do. Like never, to be more specific.

In other news, I say completely irrelevant things sometimes. Again, PROFESSIONAL.

Another BB cream to try out. Why not? This one is the Marcelle Golden Glow. I was a little hesitant to use it cuz I thought it would be too dark for me. I mean, the word golden scared me a bit. But that’s not the case at all. Got a very nice natural look out of it. Didn’t get flawless coverage or anything, but I suppose I wasn’t expecting it to.

There is a slight shimmer to this product, but I never looked shimmery which is a good thing for my old lady skin. I still had a mildly uneven skin tone (due to lack of coverage), but for something light on a hot day or maybe for weekends when you don’t care as much about flawlessness, this is a good one to try.

Last product is this lemon body wash by Not Soap, Radio. This stuff smells really good. Like proper lemon, not the furniture polish variety. This particular scent is a Birchbox exclusive, but they have other fun ones like Bubbles, Not Carbs that is supposed to curb cravings, Bathing With Sharks that is energizing, and Liquid Freud to calm you. Yes, each scent has a purpose – it’s not just a body wash, it’s mind altering. Not in a drug way (just to be clear).

That’s all for today. Hope you enjoyed. Insert Awkward Closing Statement. Bye!

Birchbox | July 2014


I’ll just have you know the fact I took my friend makeup shopping last night and she bought everything I told her to and spent multiples of $100 is completely not my fault.

The fact I am an amazing beauty advisor, however, is 100% all mine. I’m sure someone needs to be paying me for this.

Here’s my Birchbox:


How do I get off this Harvey Prince perfume train? This is the 3rd scent I’ve gotten, and I’m so over it right now I’m practically in pajamas with covers up to chin and sleeping mask activated. Good night, Harvey Prince. I’m taking a nap now.

For those curious, the scent is Imperial Gardenia and it smells nice. Like gardenias, so that makes sense. I would wear this if I wore perfume. But I don’t, so I won’t. Regifted! Moving on.

And for more nap time pleasure, here is a Naobay body lotion. I am so bored right now I can barely type.

Must …

persevere …

This smells like lemons. Goes on light and absorbs quickly. But it isn’t anything special in terms of being different from the trillion other lotions in existence. It is 98% natural and protects against the environment if that means anything to you. It claims to firm skin tissue as well, but I’m sure that involves psychological brain trickery at the very least.

And since we’re on such a roll, let’s do one more product that makes my face go like this: -__-

It’s the Number 4 Super Comb Prep & Protect leave-in conditioner. While this isn’t the worst thing to receive it certainly doesn’t make me giddy and/or a slobbering idiot. I used it, and will finish it, and it acts just like you’d expect it to. But the full size is a ridiculous $32 and I’m like you made of gold or something? No, you ain’t special. Certainly not $32 worth of special.

I feel like I’m being extra rude today. Let me throw out a disclaimer by saying these are my opinions only. The products themselves are not big o boos. They will solve an issue, be it dry skin, tangled hair, or the desire to smell like a bouquet of lovely flowers. But my excitement meter for these things are verging on a negative number. That’s all. No wet noodles please.

Let’s end on a high note, shall we? I am so happy I got the Real Chemistry Luminous 3-Minute Peel. I’ve been loving my Peter Thomas Roth Peeling Gel, and this product is similar. There’s just something oddly satisfying about your dead skin balling up and falling into the sink. Plus, it’s so easy to use. You just apply and rub in circular motions until all the product has worn away. Then rinse. You aren’t left with tiny micro beads that you’ll find stuck to your face for the next 3 days. It’s the best kind of exfoliation. And this will get your skin the softest it’s ever felt. I challenge you not to agree. And if you don’t, then you’re wrong. Simple as that.

Last item is a pretty little lip stain by Cynthia Rowley. Birchbox had actually emailed me a few weeks ago to ask which shade I wanted. I thought that was a nice touch, and hopefully they will continue to do this. I chose a pink nude called Sugar and it is the perfect color for me. And these lip stains are not drying at all. They went on wet and after an hour I was still able to feel the creaminess of the product on my lips. The staining power, however, wasn’t miraculous or anything. Although I switch up my lip color so much during the day, I’m not even mad about it. But just FYI for those that care. Also it’s a Birchbox exclusive.

That’s all I got, boo boos. I have lots more to say for another day. Get excited.

Birchbox | June 2014


For any of you who assumed I never did anything else besides work and go to Sephora, lemme just say you are 97.83748% correct. But every once in awhile I do venture out and celebrate birthday parties with friends. I did party makeup. Here’s proof:


Yes my hair is in a Turbie Twist. I couldn’t be bothered to take a selfie after I was completely ready. That would be nonsense. No, it’s much more practical to show the world this picture instead.

For those who need to know things, it’s Makeup Geek eyeshadows on eyes and Bite Beauty lipstick in Violet on lips. It took me 2 hours. I manage my time very well, as you can clearly see.

And now for the best segue that ever lived, here’s my Birchbox goodies:


This box has it’s highs and lows. Let’s start with the highs so we can end on a low note and then your day can only get better from there. (I take care of my people.)

Got a little sampler of the Coastal Scents Revealed 2 palette. While I’m always up for receiving eyeshadows, I’m kind of ho hum pigs bum about a batch of brown eyeshadows. But I did use them and they were nice and the look I got was natural and pretty. If you go to my Ipsy review from this month, you can see me wearing it. I’d link it for you, but you are aware I went out last night aren’t you? Yes, var var tired today. Effort = not given.

I love skincare. Like in an unhealthy way probably. You could do a full on shopping excursion under my bathroom sink. But not only that but I’m starting to collect things on the rim of my bathtub as well. Added this Evologie Stay Clear cleanser to the mix. As soon as I finish the four cleansers I already have lined up, I’m all over this one. So in about three months probably. Get excited!

Received a little trio of Davine’s hair stuff. Got a bottle of the Love Smoothing Shampoo, which is perfect for my harsh, frizzy, undisciplined hair (their description, not mine). And then I got a one time use packet of the matching conditioner. Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. What am I supposed to do with the leftover shampoo in the bottle now that I don’t have the accompanying conditioner to go with it? Go to Birchbox.com and purchase more conditioner? Oh, I get it. Very sneaky, Birchbox.

I will say that I probably will go buy this. Using the two together did wonders for my hair. Either that or I psychologically brought it into being. Which I’m pretty sure happens the majority of the time anyway. Otherwise why would I be continuing to use a facial exfoliator that literally smells like a fish hatchery happened upon my face?

The conditioner is very thick, but when your hair has a mind of it’s own, you need to suffocate the hell out of it. Behave! And it did.

The other thing they gave me is the OI/All In One Milk. It’s a leave in conditioning treatment kind of thingy that has a variety of talents like controls frizz, protects from heat, detangles, adds shine, etc. I used it with enthusiasm, then quickly let it go. One time use packets are not meant for full time commitment. They are the boyfriends of my youth.

We’re headed downhill now. Last two things are big fat boos. But lemme just iterate they are boos for me but maybe not for you. Cuz I don’t prefer the genre. The products themselves are probably very lovely.

First one is a nail polish by Color Club in the color Gold Struck. What can I say about this in order to make you want to buy it? Ummmmm, I kept it so … That’s a pretty big deal right there.

Last item in the box is English Laundry perfume. If I enjoyed wearing perfume I would wear this. It does not stink. For those who need a better description than that, it smells like quince, white chocolate and jasmine. And I can kind of detect the chocolate if I close my eyes and think real hard. But I’m probably imagining that up cause it’s lunch time and I really want a Snickers bar.

And to really bring home the low note, I went to Birchbox thinking I was going to purchase the Davine’s shampoo and conditioner, then saw it would cost me over $50 so I ran far far away.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Birchbox | May 2014


It’s always rough to go back to work after a 3-day weekend.  It’s hard to not sleep late, wear pajamas, watch reality tv, eat bean dip on the sofa.  But I pulled through and made it somehow.  My perseverence is quite inspiring.

So here is my Birchbox:


This box was alright.  Nothing mindblowing, but for $10 I suppose I should just hush.  Let’s just say I’ve had better boxes.  Thankfully, though, they’re not sending me tea packets anymore.  If you are having bad month after bad month, go take a peek at your profile and see if there is something on there that isn’t right.  It will definitely help.

Speaking of profiles, I told Birchbox my hair was wavy.  Which is true.  In its natural state, my hair is wavy.  Or lumpy, if you want to get more accurate.  Wavy sounds way more flowing and luxurious than the reality.  In any case, having wavy hair does not mean I keep it wavy.  I straighten the life out of it.  If I didn’t it would be a lumpy frizzy mess and about zero attractive.  However, Birchbox did not know that, so technically I can’t get pissy cuz they sent me a pouch of Miss Jessie’s Quick Curls spiraling creme.  Re-gifted!  Next.

Another sunscreen.  I suppose it is the season for it, but man it’s just so booooring.  This time I got the Supergoop version.  I threw it in my bathroom drawer along with the Hang Ten I got from Ipsy.  At some point I’ll probably use it.  I just don’t go outside for any extended period of time.  Outside is where sweat, humidity, and mosquitos live.  And sometimes there is green lake water, and I’m not doing that either.  I’ve always been that way though, even from childhood.  I remember going camping with my family where I spent an entire afternoon sitting in my dad’s truck reading a book.  That’s not a typo: an entire afternoon.  I am very good company for myself.

Next item is something I will definitely use, the Smashbox Photo Finish Primer.  They come in different colors depending on your skin issue, but I got the clear one.  It has a very silicone-y texture, goes on very smooth.  Feels a little oily at first, but it disappears pretty quick.  And unless it’s some sort of psychological brain trickery, it very well may be holding down my t-zone oil a bit.  Which is very exciting because now that the weather is warm and humid, I’ve traded my dry patches for oil slicks.  And all the lotions and potions I’ve purchased for dry skin has all been rendered moot.  That’s not an expensive annoyance or anything.  Nope, NOT. AT. ALL.

I’ve always wanted to own something from Laqa & Co., and finally my dreams came true.  Received the Lip Lube crayon in the color Coral.  Description says it’s a sheer lip balm that will fill in your unsightly lines.  Well, if that’s the case, then mine is broken.  In fact, if my lips aren’t positively exfoliated to the nth degree, this lip balm will put a big o’ spotlight right on it.  All my scraggly lip bits on full display.  No thank you.  But I wanted to give it a fair shot today, so I scrubbed my lips last night before bed, and things felt pretty nice this morning.  Applied the lip lube, and I no more than walked out of my bathroom and got into my car when I noticed my lip lube color had already worn away.  I mean sure, it’s sheer, but good lord.  Needless to say, I’m probably not going to be using this much.  However, most people on Birchbox seem to like this thing, so apparently I’m an idiot.

Last product in the box is a body balm by Perlier.  I always get nervous around body butters.  I’ve had good ones like Josie Maran and bad ones like that one Petit Vour sent me that had the texture of glue.  I took a bath last night, and instead of using what I’d been using for the past few weeks, thought I’d take a risk and give this one a shot.  And luckily, it was nice!  Was not sticky, absorbed pretty quick, and had a sweet almond scent that wasn’t delicious or anything, but it certainly wasn’t gross.  I will continue to use this sample, which makes me pretty happy.

We’re rolling now people.  Only 4 box reviews to go and 4 days to do it in.  I’m just gonna go ahead and toot my own horn now, mmm k?

Birchbox | April 2014


I’ve been sitting here thinking about purchasing the Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua foundation, and I’m trying very hard to ignore myself. Figured it would be a fine time to do a blog.

Got my Birchbox recently. Here’s the stats:


Oh look, another black eyeliner. I’ve hit the motherlode this month. This one is from Cynthia Rowley. And I’ve never owned anything by Cynthia Rowley. So in my effort to own all the things, I’m completely fine with this item. I used it several times last week on my upper lid and it is very black, smooth and stays put all day. Approved! Put it on your shopping list.

The little envelope thingie is a collection of body and face scrubs and facial oil by Nyakio. I was so excited to get this. It’s their coffee scent, and anything that smells like coffee I am immediately interested. I love coffee. I mean, I really really love it. I put pants on today and drove to Starbucks in the middle of a tornado warning because I love it that much. Probably not the best idea in terms of common sense, but I never said I had common sense. But I do love coffee! As we have established.

What was my point? I dunno.

I got the cutest little cheek and lip stain sample from theBalm. The full size has six colors, but the sample is just one color and mine is in the shade Pie. I have applied this as a cream blush, and it’s very pretty. The packaging is adorable so even if you aren’t a fan of cream blush or feel like using it as a lip tint, you can buy it cuz it has half naked men on the inside. Hooray!

Got another little can of Klorane dry shampoo. Normally I don’t like repeats but this is a good one so I’ll allow. I already claim Batiste as my holy grail dry shampoo, so there’s really no reason to spend an extra $10 for the Klorane one unless you just want to. Do what makes you happy. If that means forgoing electric bill for a new bottle of Chanel foundation so be it.

Last product in the box is a granola bar from Kind. I was sort of okay with it because for one, it’s not tea, and for two, I don’t hate granola. But then I saw they sent me the maple pumpkin seed flavor, and I about took a nap. Whyyyyyyyeeeee? Doesn’t any of this organic stuff come in chocolate? Do I need to be CEO of yet another company?

I decided to take the Kind bar to work with me as a mid-afternoon snack because when 3pm rolls around, I’ll pretty much eat anything. And in their defense, it was actually pretty tasty. Fiiiiiine. I’ll be good now.

All in all this was a pretty good box. Granted, I would’ve preferred a beauty product instead of the granola, but apparently I’m not in charge of the box contents. Which is a tragic shame in my opinion.

About to take off my makeup and do a little skincare therapy. Best part of the night. See ya tomorrow!

Birchbox | March 2014


Time is running out people.  Four days left of the month, four boxes to review, and two boxes that haven’t even came yet.  I’m not stressed or anything.  No, not at all.

Breathing… Breathing …

Birchbox this month was great.  I loved pretty much everything in the box.  Take a looksie:


I believe everyone who subscribes got the Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream.  This is a new product that you can get pretty much anywhere, probably even Walmart, because it’s Jergens.  And who hasn’t owned a Jergens product at least once in their life?  Nomads, cavewomen, probably, but other than that, just about the entire world has a little tube of Jergens in the bottom of their junk drawer.

Now, having said that, I did not use this product.  Mom was at my house the other day and told me I have too many samples and to give her some.  I gave her a little bit of stink eye, then grabbed what I wanted the least and gave it to her.  So she is now using the Jergens skin cream, and she told me she likes it.  Apparently it is supposed to hydrate, illuminate, even, firm and correct all within 5 days.  Sounds pretty intriguing, but I think it is fair to mention I wanted this the least because it is body lotion (i.e., boring), and I already have two big o lotions to get through before I would even crack the lid on this one.


Another sunscreen.  I have a feeling this is going to be a theme due to spring/summer approaching.  Got the Coola mineral spf 30 matte tint.  I freaking love this stuff!  I can’t vouch for it’s sunscreen properties but the texture of this is phenomenal.  It’s a dry formula, not lotiony, so as you smooth it in it practically disappears into your face.  It feels amazing.  I know I’ve already claimed Cotz as my holy grail, but Coola is right there along side it now.  Only drawback is the price.  It’s $36.  That’s not a typo.

Received a little bitty baby tube of Air Repair Rescue Balm.  This stuff reminds me of my Elizabeth Arden 8-Hour Cream that I keep on my nightstand.  Both are clear gels, both do not smell very good, but they both feel very protecting on the lips.  At night, I sleep with a fan blowing directly into my face.  I have to have it.  If the fan ever stops in the middle of the night, I wake up immediately.  That’s not an exaggeration.  IMMEDIATELY.  With all capital letters.  Anyway, with this on, I do not feel the fan wind hitting my lips.  However, I do not wake up with the balm still on my lips, so it doesn’t last all night long. I mean, it’s not a miracle product or anything.  At some point the fan wind does hit my lips.  But that’s not the point of what I’m saying anyway.  My point is I have to have the fan on me at all times while sleeping no matter what, and no one, not even my husband’s moans and groans about it being too cold or making the inside of his nose dry, will stop me from the fan.  Never. NEVER. Ever never.

Oh, and my other point is that I like the Air Repair Rescue Balm.

I did receive a one-time-use packet, but I think I’m okay with it.  The Agave Healing Oil Treatment will help combat my frizzy hair and leave it smooth and luxurious.  Fine! I’ll take it!  But I already have two very large hair oil products that I will probably own for the next 15 years, so getting this little tiny sample of the Agave probably works best.  I usually have good luck with this kind of stuff, though.  I feel like hair oil does a pretty nice job protecting my ends from heat as well as smoothing it down and making me less poufy.  I own a sample from Mastey that Glossybox gave me in November (still using it) and a full-size of the Sexy Hair version.  I think I’m good for the rest of my life.

Last item from the box is my absolute favorite, a moisturizer from Caudalie.  This one is called a moisturizing sorbet, and the name alone makes me want to own all the sample tubes in all the land.  (Because I can’t afford all the full-size tubes; they’re $39 each).  I lub this stuff.  It feels so good going on my face, absorbs pretty quickly and leaves my skin feeling nice and soft.  I am about thisclose to ordering some samples on eBay because sadly enough, my sample tube is about gone.  This morning I was banging it on the counter trying to get more out of it because I didn’t want to throw the tube away.  Isn’t that so unlike me, the girl who enjoys cleaning out the clutter and crossing things off the to-do list?  So if you ever see me doing this, you’ll know immediately what to do.  Order the product right dadgum now.

Heading to eBay.  Bye!

Birchbox | February 2014


Guess what time it is?

I’m sorry, it’s just a box review. So whatever that thing is that you thought of that is way more exciting than what this thing is … I’m sorry.

But not sorry. It’s my damn blog.


Birchbox was first this month, which was odd. Normally it’s about 4th. I don’t know why I keep track of these things. I’m weird, I know it. Moving on.

Here’s the goods:


First, the no likeys. You know how you get 5 products? Well two of those products done got used up on a shampoo and conditioner duo. Which should have been counted as one item. Because you can’t really have one without the other. I mean, honestly people! I swear, I could run my own business with logic like that.

Yes, I’m being a whiny, complaining baby. It’s a $10 box. Shut up, Brain.

The shampoo/conditioner culprit is a Toni & Guy damaged hair one. I used it tonight. What can you say about it after one use? Not much. Seemed alright. But the sample came in a bottle with no pump or squeeze top so getting the thick liquid out of it takes a bit of effort. And how do we feel about effort in the bathtub? That’s right. FAIL.

So I told Birchbox to stop sending me tea packets. Well, I didn’t get tea packets, but I got something almost as bad. Two packets of 32 Oral Care breath crystals. Whyyyyyeeeeee? I want beauty products, not a pouch of pop rocks. Hmmmphf.

Again, the box is $10. I’m really trying to behave.

Next up. A boring ole spritzer of perfume. I wish I was a perfume person. I’m just not. Even on my best night do I not wear perfume. It’s just not something I think of. I do own actual bottles, however. Okay, two bottles. Elizabeth Arden’s Green Tea, which I’ve proudly displayed in the back of my hall closet for nine years. And a honeysuckle smelling one from Victoria’s Secret that has this cute little hot pink squeeze bulb on it, which makes for adorable decoration on my sink next to the toothbrush cup.

So yes, not a fan of perfume. Imagine my surprise and sheer joy when I saw a tiny sample of Joan Vass L’eau de Cristal in my box. My face looked like someone was telling me a super long story about that time when they did that thing, and I promptly took a nap.

In the perfume’s defense, it did not smell bad. But that’s all I have to say about that.

Last item, and perhaps the saving grace of the whole deal, was this tube of mascara from 100% Pure. It’s made out of fruit so it smells like a medley of berries. But then I also used it the other day, and it lengthens my lashes pretty good as well. So I’m happy.

About time, right? Cuz this post has been one long rant of bummer.

On to the next box! Keep ’em coming.