I’m behind again.  The blogs are piling up, and I’m over here watching Full House reruns like responsibilities are things for other people.  I mean, I literally just sat here putting Doritos in my mouth without even looking at them first cuz BRAIN FUNCTION: OUT THE WINDOW.  Gah!  What about the poison ones, then?!  Now that my wits have returned, I’m pretty sure hypochondria starts in roughly 2.5 seconds.  And then I shall wait for death for 197 hours at the minimum cuz I am the most ridiculous person on the planet.

Being me is hard, you guys. SO. HARD.

Since we’re in a bit of a time crunch and I’ve already wasted 18 hours writing one paragraph, let’s jump into some polish.  I received a couple of swatch packs from Flirtin‘ to review for you today.  I’ve got 3 out of 6 polishes from the Say I Do spring collection as well as their Polish Con exclusive shade.  Engage: Shopping Hand cuz you’re about to spend some money, I just know it.  Let’s take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the most time sensitive, the Polish Con exclusive.  Here’s Brooklyn’s Bombshell:

First of all, if you’re one of the lucky ones going to Polish Con in New York City this year, I only hate you just a tiny bit.  I can’t plan things for shit, so naturally I chose a wedding date four years ago that is really super inconvenient right about now.  Guess I’ll take an anniversary trip instead.  UGH.

Anyway, this is Sham’s take on a glimmering New York skyline and the infamous Brooklyn Bridge.  The base is a delicious turquoise creme filled with a dusting of holo and some blue fleck things.  Which is a technical term obviously, cuz I’m SO GOOD AT BLOGGING.

Under the lamps:

You die!

This was opaque in two coats, which is typical of most of Sham’s polishes.  It’s such a pretty shade for the season, and those of you heading to Polish Con need to stop by Flirtin’s table and toss a bottle in your basket.  And some back up bottles in case you lick all over the first one.  As happens from time to time.

If you live close to NYC and didn’t know about Polish Con, click here for info and tickets.  Happening next weekend, April 29.  Just follow the huge crowd of crazy people holding giant shopping bags and a thousand drool buckets.

Next is Flirtin’s spring 2017 collection called Say I Do:

Sham decided on a bridal theme for this season, and for real, who wants every last one of these?  (You, to be clear.)  I love these soft and soothing shades – they’re perfect in every way.  In the cart they go!

First up is Something Blue:

This one has a denim blue base filled with a dusting of holographic glitter.  See how less sausage-y it makes my fingers look? That means we lub it lots, and now we can’t turn our back on it even if there’s a naked Leonardo holding a Starbucks in the other room.

Just kidding.  I mean, I may do stupid things (cuz POISON DORITOS, if you’ll recall), but when it comes to Leonardo, I am 27 kinds of serious.  Serious, but with a drool problem.  A SEX MACHINE, clearly.

Nail art I did:

I don’t hate these!  Let’s celebrate this brief moment of mojo.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 01 plate and lots and lots of magic.

Next up is To Have & To Hold:

This one has a soft sage green base with holo glitters galore.  It’s very very springy, and probably delicious if we were locked in a room by ourselves away from judgy eyes.

Check out this macro:

Gah!  It’s super pass-out-y.

Don’t look at these:

I made wallpaper nails.  Blah.  Sometimes when I do nails, my brain goes away somewhere.  And then bad things happen in a stamping retaliation scenario sort of way.

Used the layered floral image from the Uber Chic Beauty 13-03 plate in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

Lastly, here’s Just Married:

This is a soft peachy coral shade, inspired by the sunset.  See those red bits in there?  And that gold shimmer?  And all the tongues, lolling?  Yep, this polish has suddenly made us all suuuuuuuper unattractive.  Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while your mouth is unattached from your body.

Kinda okay nail art:

I mean, I’ve done worse right?  And I actually attempted some reverse stamping, which means EFFORT was involved, which means I’m getting back in pajamas cuz I’ve had a var var hard day.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Spring 01 plate in case recreations are in order.

The round up:

As I mentioned before, the Say I Do collection is available now, since getting this blog written took approximately eons with light years and eternities on top.  Here’s the deets:

Collection consists of 6 shades, and each bottle retails for $8

In addition, Sham is offering a special deal for brides.  If you order one of the six polishes, you may mail in a swatch of one of your wedding colors and place an order for a custom formulated polish.  Cuz matchy matchy is less hobo-y and seems to be the most appropriate direction to go for a wedding.  But what do I know, really?  I’m still wearing pants with a stapled-back-together hem, so I’m not the best source for fashion advice.  Anyway, if you’re interested in a custom, click here to order.

If you’re just a regular person (i.e., crazy nail lady) just looking for more polish to hoard, click here instead.  Then sit back, relax and stalk the mailman.  Cuz it’s the most logical response at this point.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •