Things I am good at but probably shouldn’t be:
1. Being lazy . I once pulled a muscle in my foot from stretching out on the couch with too much enthusiasm and had to be pushed around in a wheelchair at the zoo the next day. How many people do you know who hurts themselves by laying down? HOW MANY? That’s right, just me. EXPERT LEVEL isn’t even close to describing this scenario.
2. Embarrassing myself. Try eating Gardettos in a quiet room full of people and see what happens. You can’t even pretend it wasn’t you.
3. Looking up symptoms on the internet. Your pee smell like Froot Loops? Don’t worry, I’ll help you. Your baby digging around in the cat box? Well, that’s unfortunate! But I’ll help you. Headache won’t go away? I’m not even wasting time on that one cuz we already know: brain tumor, instantly. Sometimes it’s not good to look up symptoms. I should’ve died like 80 times already.
4. Checking locks before bed. I see the lock with my eyes. Brain registers the fact it’s clearly locked. But just in case, let’s go ahead and touch the lock and go through the motions of locking cuz somehow that makes it even more locked – SUPER locked – and lord knows no sleep is happening unless the house is SUPER locked. (Sooooo … I might have a medical condition. Let’s look that up on the internet to confirm.)
Tell me, what secrets talents do you have? Please leave me a comment and help me feel normal. I can’t be the only weirdo in this blog.
Time for nail polish! Melissa from MDJ Creations sent me her 7-piece Robin Moses Inspired collection to review for you today. You like pretty things? You like sparkle? Well then today is your lucky day. Look:
So this collection is a collaboration with Robin Moses, who is a popular nail artist and YouTuber. Each polish was named after one of the clients she features each week, plus an extra named after herself, cuz duh, QUEEN. The entire collection has loads of bling, and any one of them would be perfect for a night out. Or for laying on your couch this side of comatose, cuz that’s what I did.
First up is Mammie:
Ooooooh! Can you even? NO. YOU. CANNOT. This is my favorite kind of pink. Not princess pink, but still sweet. Like a school girl wearing frilly bloomers under her uniform. A bit rebellious. A bit like me.
Just kidding. I read books and won spelling bees. I literally ran away from a pot cigarette when I was 19 cuz I was scared of it. In other words, fun at parties. Weeee!
Time for drooling!
Next up is Evil Client:
Someone’s sexy! Red polish with glitters in it? DONE. This is the way I prefer my reds. I mean, red crèmes are fine and all, but throw a bunch of glitter in the batch, and I’m sticking my fingers in everyone’s faces. Look at mah nails! LOOK AT THEM. Do it.
Now here’s Robin, Hail to the NAW:
This is the polish that’s named after Robin Moses, Nail Art Wizard. I can see why she picked the purple one. It’s spectacular! Check her out under the lamps:
Doh! I KNOW. We’re all gonna go pass out real quick. BRB.
Now focus. It’s macro time:
Next up is Guru:
There’s a whole lot of fancy going on in this one! Bling bling! I see pink, blue, green, purple, gold. All the colors. And despite all that, it was surprisingly easy to apply. Two simple coats. No gloop! Hooray!
Normal people would put this one on and then go do some stuff. It’s the perfect date night polish. I, on the other hand, will go nowhere. I’ll just sit here on this couch, hand modeling with remote controls and potato chips. Maybe sip on the same wine cooler for about three hours.
Told you I was fun at parties.
Okay, that one was nuts. Gettin’ all braggy with its sparkle.
Now here’s Compassionista:
All you blue lovers just died. Isn’t she gorgeous? I’m about to lose all the words. Getting woozy. Brain’s stopped holding my mouth closed. I gotta pull it together before my husband comes in here and divorces me. Cuz lolling tongues are not attractive.
Squeeeee! A macro!
This is Juicy Client:
Another one for the blues! It’s the innocent side of blue, the “me in 7th grade” blue. The blue that played dress up with imaginary babies until she turned 12 years old, blue. The blue that fell asleep first at slumber parties, blue. The blue that had a 50/50 chance on who wears the condom and got it WRONG, blue.
In other words, you’ll love this blue. She’s pretty precious.
A dainty little macro:
Last one! Here’s Nameless Client:
Y’all know I’m an official puddle of goo right now. It’s the love of my life, my happiness in a bottle. It’s GREEN. Lovely, beautiful, darling green. Good thing I saved this one to the end cuz I’m literally sitting here with my eyes closed, smiling. I’ve turned into an idiot, clearly.
Last macro. Let’s end this thing RIGHT.
The round up:
I love every single one of these. You gotta get this collection. Seriously. I mean it. (Cuz I am the boss of you.)
Click here to order. They released today and ready to go! And what better way to start out the weekend than buying a little treat for yourself? Well, maybe Leonardo handing you a cocktail and Funyuns. But after that, not much!
One word of caution: Melissa’s stuff sells fast. As of this writing, we’re all good. By the time you’re reading this, it’s a crap shoot. So if you want one, you should go immediately. It’s kinda an emergency.
Some other links to click on:
Robin Moses Nail Art YouTube channel: click here
Robin Moses Nail Art Instagram: click here for instructions on how to win the entire collection plus a set of Robin’s nail art brushes. Winner will be announced February 14!
MDJ Creations Instagram: click here
My Instagram: click here
A basket full of kittens: click here, just because
Happy Friday everyone! I’m about 2.5 seconds away from pajamas.