So how’s those resolutions coming along? Anyone here reading this blog or y’all at the gym?
Obviously, by the sheer fact this post even exists right now, I have spent an entire weekend in pajamas. But that’s not a big change from my everyday life, really. In fact, if you see me outside my home for any extended amount of time, let’s just assume snake, ghost or STARBUCKS EMERGENCY! cuz those are the only logical reasons I can come up with.
My last real valiant gym effort was in 1997, where I spent a traumatic 90 minutes in an aerobics class trying not to pee my pants. Jumping Jacks and I – NOT friends. Then I did do a halfhearted gym attempt back in 2008 where I messed around with the weight machines for about a month. You might’ve seen me: I was the one putting her leg through the part where the arm goes. Seemed right at the time.
However, my lengthiest gym commitment started in 2009 and my membership fees were auto-drafted out of my bank account. To cancel, though, you had to go sign papers in person. Well, shit. So obviously I spent the next three years paying for a gym I never used because you don’t get to LAZINESS: EXPERT LEVEL without some sort of effort.
While we all contemplate the state of my life (var var sad), let’s talk polish. I have a pretty one to show you today. It’s super duper limited edition, so pay close attention. I present to you the Glisten & Glow Birthday Bash January 2017:
Oh my. We are all melting puddles of goo. Hope you had suspenders on your britches, otherwise they’d be flying right off you now. This polish is truly stunning. It’s dark yet festive and blingy and gorge. You need you need! (No, seriously. YOU NEED.)
Every year, Jill at Glisten & Glow does a special thing to celebrate her birthday on January 8. This year, she created this beauty. She’s a lovely purple-leaning blue (or blurple, if you’d rather) holographic with lots of multicolored micro glitter. And it’s a smooth two coater, which is perfect for those who like to go do stuff. I realize the entire world isn’t painting nails for 27 hours straight like me, although why not?, is the real question.
Macro time! Better grab a chair. You’re about to get faint-y.
Gah! Too pretty for words. So let’s just move on before incoherent moan-y throat noises come out.
I did some nail art:
I actually don’t hate this one, which is a rare thing these days. You’d think with all the practice I put in, this whole nail art thing would be second nature by now. But of course not, cuz while I may appear to have it all (pajamas and Starbucks and the ear of Jesus), my American Dream is still a touch out of reach. Blah.
The round up:
First of all, you’re buying this.
Now that that’s out of the way, here’s the how-to:
This polish releases on January 13 at 9pm EST. Only one batch was made, so make sure you set like 17 alarms then click here. You don’t want to miss it, trust me. And it’s only $8, which is practically free. That’s all the justification you need, so let’s get those to-do lists prioritized. Glisten & Glow up top, people! Two days and counting …