Three things about bathrooms that I do not approve of:

1)  Those giant cheese wheels of toilet paper you spin for a minimum of 18 hours looking for the start of the roll;

2)  The fact that hand dryers now apparently blow poo germs all around the room, according to one of the worst articles ever written; and

3)  Snakes now live in toilets because OF COURSE THEY DO.

Listen, I’m a worry wort, hypochondriac, anxiety-ridden OCDer (i.e., fun at parties!), so I can’t have this kind of knowledge in my head.  I mean, the cheese wheel of toilet paper is more of a nuisance thing, but the hand dryers and the snakes?  NO THANK YOU.

I love the hand dryer.  Really love it.  It’s warm and relaxing.  My hands are always so dang cold anyway, so sometimes I go to the restroom to pretend pee just so I can stick my hands in the hand dryer.  Plus, when is the last time you waved a dripping wet hand under an automatic dispenser begging it to release a little tiny square of paper towel only to get nothing, nada, in return?  Probably like 15 seconds ago, right?  So yeah, the hand dryer solves all that useless exercise, which is tops in my book.  BUT NOT ANYMORE.  Apparently, unless I want a nice mist of someone else’s bacteria all over my face, I’m gonna have to pick fights with the paper towel dispenser instead, wasting energy, time and possibly some dignity.  Cuz lord knows cuss words are gonna come out.  Great.

But that snake thing.  Now that’s a whole other issue altogether.  Who wants this?  Anyone?  NO.  Snakes get two places:  zoos and jungles.  That’s it.  Everything else is mine.  Whoever is in charge of toilet pipes (plumbers? Jesus?) needs to fix this immediately. Cuz I can deal with just about anything (well, aside from weird breathe-y noises from the stall next to me cuz what is happening in there?!), but a snake just having a little swim inside my toilet bowl?  DONE.  I’ll just hold it for the next 37 years instead, thanks.

Now that we’re all properly creeped out by sheer evidence I need to stop scrolling the internet at 2am with one eye closed and sleeping, let’s go to our happy place: NAIL POLISH.  I received the March edition of the Pandora’s Box to review for you today.  This collaboration box is hosted by Athena & Aphrodite and contains polish, nail wraps, makeup and bath and body items contributed by other indie brands that rotate from month to month.  March is (appropriately) St. Patrick’s Day-themed – which means a whole lot of green is about to happen.  Look:

Eeeeee!  Happiness is everywhere!  Aside from those fake flowers, everything in here is a cutie patootie.  However, I paid $1.99 for those flowers, so I had no choice.

First, let’s talk about the contributions offered by the host, Athena & Aphrodite.  Angela did two things, a polish and an eyeshadow.  Let’s look!

Here’s Pot O’ Gold:

You know I love dark polish, so I was super on board with this one.  Base here is a creamy black and it’s loaded with some awesome gold flakies.  I did two coats, even though it covered really well in one.  But two makes it all smooth and perfect, which is all we ever want in life, right?  Well, maybe Leonardo could come bring me a Starbucks.  But THEN we’re all good.

Some macros for your flakie pleasure:

And just for funsies, I added a matte top coat and the effect looks amazing.  Proof:

Told ya.

The other item from Angela is this gold eyeshadow called Athena’s Treasure:

Look at me trying to be a beauty blogger.  Don’t worry, it gets worse: 

Bahahah.

In my defense, it was either this or I was gonna have to do a full face of makeup, but it’s Saturday and full of pajamas, sooooo …

I love this gold color though.  It’s nice and shimmery but not over the top.  It’s not GOLD! with jazz hands, but more just gold with like some sweatpants on.  Comfy casual gold is what I’m saying.

Next item in the box are some shamrock nail wraps by Freya Wraps:

Yep, guess who never uses nail wraps?  But I tried, so blogger points for that, right?  They were pretty easy to put on, and I definitely recommend not skipping the blow dryer part because they do smooth out considerably once they’re warmed up.  I have a pretty decent C-curve to my nails so I had a bit of trouble getting out all the wrinkles, but if you are used to wraps and love wraps, I have no doubt you’ll enjoy these and make them look a billion times better than I have here.

Now we have this lotion bar from Nailed It Hawaii: 

I’ve never used a lotion bar before and wasn’t really sure how to apply it. Apparently I was overthinking it, cuz you for real just rub it on your body. That’s it. The heat from your skin will melt the lotion and then you just rub it in. Easy peasy.  Consistency is like a thick balm so it doesn’t melt to liquid or anything but it sinks in relatively fast which to me is very important.  Sticky lotion hands is the equivalent of picking macaroni and cheese out of shag carpet.  In other words:  gross.

But then I turn the bar over and there’s the cutest flower design embedded on its backside.   Well drat.  That’s precious.  Looks like this thing is getting displayed on my bathroom sink for the next 8 years then cuz how I can go messing up something so pretty?  Despite all it’s butters and oils and sweet orange and grapefruit.  In fact, I’ll just sit it right next to this countertop rack where I’ve hung a little turquoise towel that no one’s allowed to touch.  Even if all the other towels are dirty and your hand is on fire.  Sorry.  Decoration 101.  Everyone knows that.

Next item is a polish from Little Black Dress Nail Lacquer called Celtic Myth:

Is that angels singing? Prolly.

Guys, it’s GREEN.  The color of fresh, new beginnings.  The color that brings me back to life.  The color against which all other colors need to be measured, because not much is more perfect.  Seriously, I checked.

Look at all this holo and gold shimmer.  I die!

Okay, last item in the box is this foaming sugar scrub from Handmade Natural Beauty:

About 15 minutes post bath, and I literally DO smell like an Irish Spring.  It’s wonderfully clean and refreshing since most of my bath stuff smells like coconuts or like I’ve been suntanning in the backyard.  Which we know can’t be true cuz my backyard is outside and I don’t go outside cuz outside requires pants.  Or so says society.

Anyway, the scrub is very soft which I like.  And it does foam up once it’s mixed with water, although not an overload of foam.  Plus, if you don’t enjoy the feeling of oil left on your skin after a scrub, you’ll love this.  If not, then I absolutely KNOW you’ll love this.  I opened the jar, annnnnnnddddddd:

I won’t lie: I thought those were candies and got really super excited.  Never mind the fact that would make no effing sense whatsoever.  I looked at the jar, and the label says to trash the sugar decorations (SUGAR?!  So still not candy?) but the little swirly ball in the center is a glycerin soap.  Fun!  Although still slightly disappointed.

Basically what I’m saying is someone needs to head this way with a candy bar.  STAT.

Here’s the purchase deets on this box:

Cost:  $34.99

Availability:  Pre-sale is open right now and will run through February 15.  Shipping will start in the beginning of March.

Click here to shop the Athena & Aprhodite store.  Select the “Pandora’s Box” section on the left hand side.

Also, there is a giveaway going on over at the Pandora’s Box Instagram page.  For a chance to win one of these boxes, click here to enter.  Rules for the giveaway are listed under the photo.

Okay, guys, that’s all for now.  Hope everyone is having a fabulous Saturday.  I only had to leave the house once today (for groceries in an effort to “sustain life”; ugh) but I left my pajama shirt on and wore it with jeans, so it wasn’t too terrible.  Huge night of swatching ahead of me so I can write more blogs for you.  Get excited!  (Seriously.  DO IT.)

Later loves!