Monthly Awareness Polish Box: May 2017

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It’s May 1st guys, so y’all know what that means:  winter is just around the corner.  Ugh.

How did we get here so fast?  Why does fall and winter take lightyears with eons and eternities on top, but spring and summer is gone in the blink of an eye?  Wasn’t it just yesterday when I was sitting on my couch covered in sweatpants and a minimum of 18,000 blankets, wondering why I’m not one of those cute girls wearing Uggs and holding a latte?  I mean, does this world really need someone to do the speed walking across parking lots saying shit shit shit all the way to the door?  Certainly I could’ve excelled in other less unattractive ways.  I’m not even that picky about it.  I can be adorable in a scarf, falling in a pile of leaves, you know, if all the Uggs are taken.  Blah

And now May is here ruining everything with it’s sheer proximity to fall.  Five months left.  FIVE MONTHS!  I’m going to waste my summer googling how to stay alive in an ice storm, I just know it.  Although being prepared is important.  What’re you gonna do when there’s a surprise Leonardo sighting and there’s no wedding dress in your car?  Hmmm?!

Rational behavior is for other people.  Clearly, someone needs to save me from me.

Let’s go to our happy place.  Time to hoard some polish!  I have the May Monthly Awareness Polish Box to share with you today.  Ready to buy a bunch of pretties AND donate to charity all in one effortless click?  Well, you had me at effortless.  Let’s go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Each month, the Monthly Awareness Polish Box partners with six awesome indie brands to create exclusive, customized nail polishes to fit the theme of that month’s charity.  Since May is Stroke Awareness Month, Courtney has thoughtfully chosen to donate to the National Stroke Association, one of the country’s leading stroke resources.  This particular cause has a special place in my heart, so naturally we’re all gonna come together and clean out the entire store, right?  RIGHT.  Take a look at these:

See, already you’re excited.  SIMMER DOWN CRAZY.  We just got started.  How we gonna make it to the end of this blog if we’re already big puddles of goo?  Get your focus faces on.  This is some serious business up ahead.

First up is O-My Jewels:

This is Act F.A.S.T., a creamy smooth red with a dash of matte white multi sized glitters.  My swatch shows ONE COAT, which I found quite amazing.  You might need two, but I was pretty satisfied with this cuz then I had plenty of time to go make myself useful.  I mean, Dancing with the Stars doesn’t just watch itself, ya know?

The glitters here did settle pretty well in the bottom of the bottle, but they floated right back up with a vigorous shake.  I love how you get a gentle dose of them on the nail.  It’s not GLITTER! with jazz hands, but more just glitter with like, some sweatpants on.  Nice and easy is what I’m saying.

Macro time!

Next up is Alter Ego:

This is Small Steps Big Rewards, a golden olive green with bronze micro flakies, and OMG there is such an unattractive drool situation in progress right now.  Like, hubby just needs to look away sometimes, cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while your tongue is lolling about outside your body.  27 bottles, in the cart they go!

Seriously, 27 at the minimum:

Now we have Pretty Beautiful Unlimited:

This is Fighting Back, a peacock turquoise green with silver holo microglitters, teal to blue iridescent shifting glitter, blue micro shreds and flakies and blue to aqua to violet color shifting flakies.  That’s a lot of goodies!  How this polish doesn’t cost a billion dollars is beyond alllll the comprehensions.

Plus, all that WITH glow on top?  If there was ever a time for smelling salts, now would be it.

An ocean of lovely:

I want to swim in a giant tub of that.  Legit no joke.

From NeVerMind Polish:

This is Picking Up the Pieces, a hot pink with a touch of shimmer and blue/purple/red chameleon flakies. Excuse me while I attach my jaw back on my face.  GAH!  If this somehow doesn’t end up on all the surfaces, I don’t understand the world we live in. Anyone in the mood for a ridiculous display of pretty cuz DUMB QUESTION doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Flakies, everywhere.  You have no other choice, now do you?

I’d lick this cuz I’m well aware I have a problem:

Although I won’t, cuz POISON.  And society, they are so judgy.

Next is from PoSHlish:

This is Survivor, a shimmery lilac pearl with a sea foam green undertone.  I’m seriously about to fall apart cuz the noodle legs are everywhere.  The fact I’m still upright is perseverance at superhuman levels.  The shimmer got me.  It got me good, guys.  And the formula was such a dang dream.  Nice and fluid, all glide-y and smooth.  I about went to Polish Mountain with it, but I gave up after three coats.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.  However, it would be a good one if the mood ever strikes.  And you have nothing to do for the next 18 years.

Will the drool ever end?

NO.

Lastly, from Sassy Pants Polish:

This is Know the Signs, a royal navy blue holographic with black holo and opal iridescent glitters and gold shimmers.  What a way to end this thing!  It’s a noodle leg epidemic and there is no cure.  (Oh well.)  Who else looks a dadgum mess?  Ugly Ecstasy Face is having a moment, clearly.  If all six of these beauties aren’t in your cart in about 2.5 seconds, we need to have a chat about decisions and how to make them.  

Macro to seal the deal:

DONE.  You’re about to spend some money, I can already tell.

The round up:

Pre-sale for this box is open right now and will run until May 9. Cost is $52 + shipping and 10% of the proceeds will be donated to the National Stroke Association. You also have the option to just buy one polish or a set of 4, although that point is moot since we’ve already decided. All six, darlings!

To purchase, click here. Then sit back and revel in all your good decisioning.

If you’d like to keep up to date on future Monthly Awareness Polish boxes, go give their Facebook page a like (click here) and follow them on Instagram (click here). And then as long as you’re clicking on stuff, here’s more:

O-My Jewels

Pretty Beautiful Unlimited

Alter Ego Body Care Products

NeVerMind Polish

PoSHlish

Sassy Pants Polish

Okay, that’s it guys. Get to shopping. I mean it. And then we’ll do this all over again next month. Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

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