Fair Maiden Polish: Pony Parade Collection 


I spent three hours in the bathtub today cuz the actual thought of hoisting myself out of it was almost too much to bear. Like, I might as well have been 18000 pounds, considering how well this was going. Hubby came in to check on me and actually offered to pull me out, which is both sweet and slightly alarming.   In either case, he loves being married to me, I just know it. 

But omg, guys. I’m sooooo tired. I stayed up til 530 this morning trying to be a nail blogger but things were failing all over the place. Perhaps blogging with your eyes closed isn’t the brightest idea. I mean, I had two polishes to review. TWO. That should’ve taken one hour, tops. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I can’t write with the TV on. Cuz a Full House + Friends + Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathon doesn’t bode well for the attention span. And responsibilities are things for other people. 

However, deadlines are deadlines, and I am a dadgum professional.  I published once today and here I am back again like no big deal. Is there an award coming then, cuz I’m feeling very deserving right about now.

Sarah and Adrienne, the two lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish, sent me this awesome swatch pack to show off for you today.  First time on the blog y’all, and I’m so super fancy!  I’ve got their 5-piece spring collection, all inspired by the vintage 1980s version of My Little Ponies.  How stinkin’ cute is that? (Very.)  Let’s have a good look then!  Here’s Pony Parade:


I love everything 80s.  Gimme all the music, all the toys, and all the unfortunate clothes my mother dressed me in.    I want the roller rink on a Friday night, the church camp where I did more kissing things than church things, and all the sleepovers – even the one where I woke up in my best friend’s pee.  I just love that feeling of nostalgia. In fact, the older I get, the more I crave it.

There’s something to be said about the simplicity in life.  Let’s just go back to that time, shall we, cuz I’m tired of driving myself to places.  And I’m not interested in paying utility bills anymore.  Actually, let’s roll all the way back to before I learned to shave my legs, cuz I’m not much interested in that thing either.  Yep, I’m all in for a field trip to the 80s and all the mix tapes and bicycle rides to the post office that it comes with.  Plus, I believe there’s a 7th grade class missing their Spelling Bee Champion, and that girl I slapped in the ear?  Well, I’m pretty sure she’s missing me too.

And now, the polish.  First up is Locket:

This one is a punchy pink holographic with duochrome shimmer that shifts violet/orange with multi holographic sparkles.  Now, I’m not the world’s best at photographing duochromes unless you find extreme hand contortion to be some sort of selling point instead of the circus side show it really is.  However, hopefully these photos will give you an idea at least.  The lights do show off the violet, but the orange is more elusive.  It’s in there, but only slight.

Under the lamps:


You see the orange in the upper right in the bottle macro?  Yep, I’m soooooo good at blogging, you guys!

Some nail art I did:

Kinda cute, right?  I mean, if you’re into zero displays of effort, this is a pretty good one.  Took me less than 5 minutes to make cuz creativity is a strange and unreachable thing, and if there’s an easy road in front of me, imma gonna take it.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Mother’s Day plate for this one, just so you know.

Next up is Peachy:

This one is a light peach holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and multi holographic sparkles.  And surprisingly, despite how extra sausage-y my fingers look in neutrals, I really like this color.  It’s very elegant and sweet and 2.5 seconds away from tea with the Queen.  Cuz this one begs to hold a tiny sandwich, I’m pretty sure.

Under the lamps:

It’s so glowy; I die.

Lolling tongues ahead!

Some not-hideous nail art:

Sometimes I make cute things.  I like this one, finally.  A brief moment of mojo, and I’m gonna revel in it for the next 987 years.  Give or take.   

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate, and it’s a good one!

Now here’s Seaflower:

This one is a seafoam green holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and more of those multi holographic sparkles.  Lemme just say, this is my favorite.  Cuz GREEN, but who is surprised?  You’ve read this blog before right?  I mean, where there is green, there is also me reattaching my jaw to my face for the 18000th time.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels?  Cuz I hear angels.

Will the macros ever end?  NO.

Kinda proud of this one:

I made actual effort cuz gradient stamping doesn’t just appear by magic.  Sad, I know.  Cuz if I could just lounge on couches instead, that’d be great.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate again and picked out some purple and aqua stamping polish to compliment the base and shimmer.  Sounds like someone thought things through for once.  Hope a Starbucks is coming.  You know, if y’all not busy.

Next up is Moonstone:

This one is a soft blue holographic with a violet/orange duochrome shift and – you guess it – those multi holographic sparkles.  Still having trouble photographing the orange, but you can see the violet really well.  Either way though, all you blue lovers just died a little bit.  You done did.

Under the lamps:

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Some simple art:

I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.  I mean, no one is giving me a trophy for this one, pretty sure.  Even a participation ribbon might need committee approval first.  

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate in case recreations are in order.  Hahahaha.  Blah.

Lastly, here’s Twilight:

This one is a vibrant purple holographic with a duochrome shift of blue and orange and more multi holographic sparkles than we know what to do with.   Gotta end this collection on a high note right?  And then you’re buying every single one of these cuz you make good decisions.  I mean, you’ve somehow managed to still be reading this blog, so toots for you my friend.

Under the lamps:

Seriously, the sparkle is insane.  In person, they’re all a driving hazard to the trillionth degree.

Final macros in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

I don’t know what this one is:

Bye bye mojo.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-03 plate if you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

The round up:

The Pony Parade Collection released for pre-sale just yesterday, so you’re all set for shopping!  Each polish is $10 or you can get the whole set for $46.  They also have the set in minis for $30 if that’s your thing.  Head over to the shop and toss em all in the cart.  Serious. I mean it.  Click here immediately.  The sale is available until tomorrow evening (May 1), so we have a dire POLISH EMERGENCY! on our hands.  Don’t miss it, otherwise it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Now you can sit back, relax and stalk the mailman like a certified loon.  I mean, what other response could be more logical?  You don’t get to CRAZY NAIL LADY by being rational.  And why be obsessesed if you can’t do it properly?

Later, loves!


3 responses »

  1. Pingback: In lumina

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