Welcome to 2017, where I just spent a fruitless four hours in bed waiting for Starbucks to just appear in my hand. It never did so I was forced to drive to Starbucks in my pajamas instead. 2017 isn’t that much different than 2016 now is it?
So anyone make any New Year resolutions? I typically don’t – or at least I don’t with any real intention of following through – but this year I’m gonna try. Here are a few I came up with:
1) Stop wearing clothes picked straight from the laundry basket. Hang them up in the closet like a civilized person. This will be hard cuz once I carry the basket into the bedroom, my brain suddenly stops remembering what’s next. It might be a medical condition, I dunno.
2) Stop eating so many sweets. I may succeed at this one cuz it’s mostly Funyuns that are the problem. But I’m not giving up Funyuns because I love myself too much.
3) Clean the cat box more than twice a week. I’m only doing this one cuz I’m grossed out by my husband’s gag sounds as he walks in the laundry room. They might be overly dramatic gag sounds in an effort to make a point, in which case I might fail at this resolution out of spite.
4) Try to strike a balance between doing nails and having a life. Not necessarily a social life cuz PANTS and all that, but more like sitting next to my husband on the couch every once in a while. And possibly not going to bed at 2am on a work night.
Tell me in the comments what your goals are for 2017. Maybe you are going to catch up on all my blog posts that you’ve missed since 2013. In that case, by all means, proceed. After all, it’s your happiness I love about you the most.
For now, there’s NAIL POLISH. The perfect way to start out a brand new year, I think! Chelsea at Pretty & Polished has come out with a spectacular 6-piece collection inspired by Iconic Video Games – and you don’t need to know your Marios from your Zeldas to appreciate them. Check out the most cheerful lineup EVER:
I wasn’t even exaggerating. These colors are so bright and playful and they have me downright giddy with excitement. For real, when the swatch pack arrived and I unwrapped each bottle, it was smile, drool, die, repeat. You’re gonna definitely want these. And there’s a discount code too – but you gotta read all the way to the bottom to get it.
Lessss go then. Here’s Samus it Ever Was:
If you are a gamer, you may have already guessed this polish is based off the game Metroid. It’s been around since 1986 and has one of the first kick ass female lead characters, which is the inspiration for this polish. She’s a feisty one, as all kick ass females tend to be. Or like me, when someone tries to tell me to put clothes on and go do stuff. I will cut you if you force me to go outside.
This one has a bright red jelly base packed with gold hex glitters and color shifting flakes. I think it’s absolutely jaw-dropping gorgoeus. The glitters literally float in this three dimensional heaven. I swear, I’d eat it if I knew it wouldn’t kill me. Or if it was socially acceptable.
Macros to die for:
Tell me you didn’t think about licking your screen for a second. You did, you know it.
Next up is If Hyruled the World:
This polish is based off the legendary character, Link, from the game Legend of Zelda. Now, I know this game. I used to play it with my brother back in the good old days when I had nothing more to worry about than if I’d die in my sleep cuz I ate the one piece of Oreo that didn’t get fully crushed in my Cookies ‘N Cream ice cream (aka, poison). Ahhhh, 1986: my proudest year.
This one has a medium green base packed with golden flakes and golden holo glitters. And because it is green, I was instantly in love. But it’s also so spectacularly beautiful, it practically glows. Are you drooling yet? Cuz you should be.
Some macro porn:
Gracious, that’s pretty.
Now here’s Our Plumber is in Another Castle:
Immediately, I knew this polish was an ode to Super Mario Brothers. This truly is the beginning of the Gamer era, is it not? How many of us spent summers and weekends and countless nights after homework (presumably) trying to rescue Princess Toadstool from the clutches of the evil Bowser? It was the one game I was good at. I’d go back to 1985 just so I could play it once more. Then come right back before I get in trouble for watching that boy pee on the playground again. That was not a good day.
So this one has a slightly off-white base packed with blue and red glitters. I thought it did have a touch of pink in the base, but it could just be how it looks against my see-through skin tone. This was a surprisingly excellent two-coater. Leveled out nicely with no glitter issues whatsoever. And it’s just a fun polish. The perfect tribute to an awesome game.
Next up is Who’s That Mysterious Stranger?:
This polish is based off Chelsea’s favorite game series, Fallout, and the colors here match the popular Vault Boy character. I’ve never heard of Fallout – or Vault Boy for that matter – but I’m feeling like maybe I need to check it out. I love role-playing and simulation games. I mean, you know darn well I was THE best Roller Coaster Tycoon. And spending $85 to decorate my pretend bakery – totally necessary. Although let that last part be a secret between me and you. Not sure hubby would quite understand the need for new carpeting and wallpaper in a bakery that doesn’t exist. Us gamers get it, though, don’t we? Or shall I say, YOU gamers and ME, just an obsessive weirdo.
I’m totally loving the bright blue cream base on this one. Like a robin’s egg, which reminds me of spring, which reminds me of happiness. It’s filled with these yellow and blue glitters and the tiniest bit of sparkle that was hidden to me until I did a macro. Two easy coats, glitters that played nice. Basically you want this cuz how could you not?
Sparkle down below:
Now here’s Dragonborn to be Wild:
Based off the game Skyrim, this polish is inspired by the main character, Dragonborn. In doing research, I have discovered there is not much I know about gaming. I think this one might be about trying to kill a dragon, and the screenshots I’ve found look super cool. But it’s probably best I moved on cuz I can get sucked in (and dollars-deep) pretty quick. I mean, I started playing Panda Pop on my phone about a week ago and now I’ve downloaded like 18 other similar games because I have no self control. One game, Toy Blast, says it’s appropriate for 4 years old and up, and I don’t understand that because it took like $29 to get past one of the levels.
In other words: SEND HELP.
So this particular polish is a thermal, and the top photo shows it in it’s warmest state, a lovely mid-toned grey. As it starts to cool – or if you’ve had your hand stuck in a glass of ice water, like I did – you get this transition to a dark grey:
Another shot with no transition, just full-on cold state:
It’s packed with tiny micro glitters, and the fact this thermal is an ombré of the same color family makes me love it the best. It just blends so nicely.
Clearly, I spent 19 years taking these photos. Thermals are not the easiest to swatch or photograph when you have a touch of the OCD. Getting that “perfect” shot is never quite perfect enough. Hopefully I’ve done a decent enough job, though, and that someone is on their way with snacks and a massage.
Last polish in the collection is called Yoshi Flys Me Away:
Awwww, Yoshi! Mario’s best bud. I’m loving that this one was added to the collection, especially because of customer feedback. He is much loved, and GREEN, which makes for a perfect polish. Apparently, Yoshi has been around for quite a while – 1990 to be exact – and became an instant favorite of mine primarily because Mario and Luigi could ride on him instead of having to walk everywhere, a predicament that resonates down to my soul. I mean, if there’s a riding option, it’s always my first choice. Well, maybe after the couch-laying option and the napping option. But definitely ahead of the walking option. The walking option can walk itself right back where it came from. Hell. Or purgatory. Or wherever it is people who make extra loud food noises with their mouth hang out. Blech.
So this sweet little green is a light neon base with a medium dose of neon green and dark green glitters. You hear that ding, ding, ding? That’s your happy meter going off.
This macro gives me allll kinds of smiley feelings:
The round up:
For real, you guys – you gotta get this collection. Chelsea always does such a wonderful job with everything she creates, but there is just something about this bunch that gives me so much joy. The color palette is the opposite of dreary and heavy and we all need a little pick-me-up, right? Here’s the deets:
Full collection: $48
Dragonborn and Hyruled, single polish: $9
The rest, single polish: $8.50
BUT WAIT. A bonus ending! In addition to the Iconic Video Games Collection, we have a new addition to the dusty creme line releasing as well.
Here’s I’m Kale-ing It With This Color:
Oh my god, another GREEN. This girl is in heaven, for sure!
Inspired by the new Pantone Color of the Year, Greenery, we’ve got what Chelsea describes as a muted lime green with (of course) those delicious little dusty particles unique to Pretty & Polished. I can’t get enough of them! They’re all consistent in formula – creamy, self-leveling, two coats. If you haven’t purchased any before, remedy that stat. Get this one for sure because I said so, but then go ahead and add a few more to the cart. I promise* you’ll be so glad you did.
DISCLAIMER: On the off chance you are not glad, you cannot sue me. There is simply something wrong with you. This macro is proof:
PERFECTION. And it can be yours for the ridiculous (practically free) low price of $7.50.
Your reward for reading all the way to the bottom – a coupon code! Use dianna15 to get 15% off your order of anything in the store. ANYTHING. So go crazy. Click here to shop. And this is your ending for reals this time.
Happy New Year! Later, loves!