I am so far behind on my to-do list and I don’t even know how it happened. One minute it was all under control, then after I about strangled myself with my own bra last week, everything’s gone awry.  There is chaos and IT. IS. EVERYWHERE.  Either that or my laziness has finally caught up to me.  Cuz I assume not much gets done while lounging on couches.  Besides napping and getting chubby cuz SCIENCE is a big ole B sometimes.  Blah.

So now I’m sitting here trying to write 18 blog posts and swatch 97 nail polishes, PLUS! somebody informed me it was time to scoop cat poop, but basically he is WRONG.  Cuz I did it just two days ago, and I haven’t been told the minimum of 27 times yet.  Responsibilities are hard, you guys.  SO HARD.

However, some things did get accomplished.  Here’s a list of three:

1. I made some very hideous nail art (coming soon!) .. Although this isn’t entirely surprising.  Me and nail fails, well, we’s best friends.  For real, I’m not sure if Baby Jesus has more important things to do with his time, but apparently mojo for me isn’t high on the list.

2. Shaved my legs so I can continue to stay married.  However, the hoisting up and bending over and sweating in the bathtub should qualify as separate accomplished things.  Cuz when you sit down for a living, using your body for other activities is not as easy as expected.

3. I went outside and jumped on the trampoline, which also means I put on pants.  And I only peed a tiny bit, which is another miracle.  So if you’ve been doing math (cuz who isn’t? is the actual question), that’s a whooooooole lot of overachieving on my part, honestly.  In fact, laying on the couch for eons makes total sense about now.

Well, that’s a busy weekend, really.  Even though I’m swimming in swatch jobs and the blog isn’t writing itself for some reason, I got a lot done, considering.  Please tell me Starbucks is coming cuz I can’t think of any better way to celebrate all this success.  Send Leonardo too, just in case. 

While we wait, let’s get to the polish!  I have the new Flower Gathering Collection from Blush Lacquers to share with you today.  If you haven’t been ready for spring for roughly light years like me, then here, lemme fix it.  Take a look:

Look at all those pretty sausages!  Every single one of them: beauties.  Seriously, Victoria has once again captured a mood.  You’re about to spend some money, I just know it.

This collection consists of six super sparkly holographic shimmers in delicate spring shades.  It’s inspired by Victoria’s favorite poem, Flower Gathering, by Robert Frost and each polish is named after a line in the poem.  Y’all ready?  Well then lessss go!

First up is Gloaming Roaming:

This one has a soft periwinkle lavender base with a delicious blue/green shimmer and loaded with holographic flakies.  All my purple lovers just died for a second.  For real, you did.

Time for macros!

The flakies!  They got me good.

Next up is Know Me Not:

This one is a soft rosy pink with blue shimmer, loads of holographic flakies, and a ridiculous display of pretty.  Also, it’s Queen of England-approved in case you’re both having sandwiches soon.  As happens to all of us from time to time.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA! up ahead:

You okay?  Need a rag for your forehead?  I know.  Nail polish makes you sweaty sometimes.  I get it.

Now here’s All For Me?:

This one has a soft lavender base with a pink micro flakie shimmer and more of those holographic flakies were are officially hardcore in love with.  Cuz flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier too, prolly.

Grab your drool bucket:

Okay, it’s about to get suuuuuper unattractive in here.  Victoria, what are you doing to me?  Cuz I do not look good with my tongue lolling about outside my body.

This one is Faded Flowers:

This is a soft ballet slipper pink/nude with a red shimmer and holographic flakies.  The shimmer here looks more pinkish purple to me, but then again, I think I look good in 24 hours worth of robe, so what do I know really?

More macros, more drool:

You’re buying these; you already know.

Next up is Ages of a Day:

This one has a soft seafoam green base with an amazing blue shimmer and more holographic flakies.  Seriously, the flakies never end.  It’s a flakie epidemic.  No cure.

Oh well.

Are you hot, cuz I’m hot.  Someone needs to point a fan at me, stat.  Otherwise, DIVORCE.  I don’t sweat like a lady, let’s just say.

Lastly, here’s Measure of Treasure:

This one is a soft lime green with a red micro flakie shimmer and holographic flakies.  If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets at this point, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.  Cuz no one does crazy nail lady quite like you.

Get ready to paint all your surfaces:

You need 27 backup bottles, at the minimum.

Now for your prize.  If you buy the entire collection (and you are), you get this little beauty for free.  Take a look at Morning Glow:

She’s got a soft mauve-y pink base with a gorgeous golden green shimmer and (you guessed it) some holographic flakies.  Since she’s a freebie, you cannot purchase her.  She is priceless princess and we shall treat her as such.

Let’s seal the deal:

Fainting couches for everyone!

The round up:

I can’t think of any better way to spend your evening than throwing all these in your shopping cart.  Honestly, you were just gonna put on sweatpants anyway – might as well be useful about it.  This collection is available now, so it doesn’t get more convenient than that.  Here’s the deets:

Price is $61.50 for the whole set, plus you get the 7th polish for free.

Single bottles are $10.25 each, but we’ve already discussed the plan (all six, darlings!) so I’m telling you this cuz I don’t know why.  Click here for shopping!  Otherwise, it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Headed to do a couple more swatches before bed which will most likely end up a 4 hour polish party.  And then naps at the desk for me tomorrow!  HR loves that, I swear.

Later, loves!