Alchemy Lacquers: Chocolate Bar Collection 


A cat hair just flew into my wet fingernail so now this day has officially been cancelled and deleted. Ugh.  Whyyyyyy, Universe, why?  Apparently, someone out there thinks I have nothing more to do than paint nails for nigh on eternity.  Except who’s watching the TV then?  Eating the Cheetos?  Dangling the robe strings in front of the cat for like two hours straight?

In other words, I’m var var busy.  The fact this blog is getting written is a damn near miracle.  Worth half a horn toot, at least.

In an attempt to go to bed before 3am, let’s do a speed blog!  I have a most gorgeous collection of polishes from Alchemy Lacquers to share with you today.  Check out what Rebecca made:


Look at all those pretty sausages! Every single one of them: beauties.  I don’t know what you got planned later, but tossing a bunch of polish in your shopping cart sounds about right.  You’re about to spend some money, y’all, just so you know.

So this is the Chocolate Bar Collection, a set of 6 little dreamboats full of sparkle and shimmer and general deliciousness. GUYS, you want these.  I’m serious.  I can’t think of one acceptable reason why not.  Unless you don’t like pretty things.  Or perhaps you are a robot.  But other than that, NOTHING.

Get your wallets handy, cuz here’s your quick rundown of colors: 


DESCRIPTION:  A pink flake that contains pink metallic and holographic glitter, purple/pink/orange shifting flakies and a touch of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Three ultra smooth coats

Rebecca said this one is intentionally made sheer and you might consider putting it over a dark base; HOWEVER, that’s a whooooole nother level of effort, so here’s what it looks like on naked nails instead.  PERFECTION, basically.


DESCRIPTION:  A gold/brown to green shifting holographic with specks of coral-orange/gold/green/blue multichrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two lovely coats

For real, my jaw is just laying on the floor like NO BIG DEAL.  


DESCRIPTION:  A mauve creme with turquoise/blue shifting shimmer and holographic finish

OPACITY:  Two luscious coats

Purple lovers, you seeing this?!  GAH!  It’s getting suuuuuper swoon-y in here!  Hope ya’ll got your fainting couches handy, like one of those fancy Victorian ones, cuz who’s about to get unattractive on a futon?  NOT THIS LADY.


DESCRIPTION:  A dark red jelly with red/orange/gold/green shifting shimmer

OPACITY:  Two dreamy coats

Ahhh, now. We’re in love with this one aren’t we? She’s the red of your dreams:  sexy and sassy, flirty but also kinda bossy. She’s who you wish you were back in 5th grade when you tried out for cheerleading but refused to show school spirit, cuz duh, EMBARRASSING. For real, it was all kinds of uncomfortable crickets in there. Those judges … being so judgy. It’s as if they knew there was a spelling bee nearby missing a 10-year-old.


DESCRIPTION:  A milk coffee creme with turquoise/pink/purple shifting shimmer and holographic finish

OPACITY:  Three dainty coats

Normally, I don’t love me some nudes, but this one has just enough darkness in it to look flattering against my see-thru skin.  And that contrasting shimmer?  Ugh.  So pretty.  Even the Queen of England’s got a dire case of the Grabby Fingers.  GIMME.


DESCRIPTION:  A cool dark grey creme with magenta/red/orange/gold/lime green shimmer

OPACITY:  Two gorgoeus coats 

And now we end this thing on a billion exclamation points.  This one is truly gorgeous and a legit driving hazard.  Cuz while the shimmer is a little more subdued in regular lighting, under the sun there’s an insane amount of sparkle.  Plus potholes.  Lots and lots of potholes.



The Chocolate Bar collection is available now, so guess what you’re doing in about 2.5 seconds?  Seriously, I’m not saying it’s a Polish Emergency, but it’s probably a Polish Emergency.  Go, go, go!  Cuz who’s missing out on all his chocolately goodness.  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.  Some deets:

Mint Chocolate Chip and Strawberry Eclair – $9.00 each

Salted Caramel and Black Forest Truffle – $10.00 each

Cherry Cordial and Amaretto – $11.00 each

Comes with a side of Leonardo.  Or else I just dreamed that.  I dunno.

Where to buy:

Shop closes at midnight EST 10/11 (or technically 10/12) so be sure to get your orders in TODAY. As in, RIGHT NOW. As in, NO TIME FOR LOUNGING.  The shop will only be down briefly and the polishes will be back, but that is beside the point. 

And now, the linky loos!  Connect with Alchemy Lacquers:



Fan Group

Headed to do a couple more swatches before bed which will most likely end up a 17 hour polish party. And then naps at the desk for me tomorrow! HR loves that, I swear.

Later, loves!


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