Remember that time back in February when the hem came out of my favorite pair of pants and I thought I might get around to a proper solution within the next 180 days and then we all just laughed and laughed and laughed?

Well, turns out we were right.  Cuz approximately 7 months later, I done gave up on ever being normal and just stapled my pants back together like a crazy person.  GUYS.  Clearly you don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by going the extra mile.

So in case you like a good math problem, I have approximately 1 billion dollars worth of nail polish about to fall through the floor of my own house, but I stapled my pants like a dadgum hobo.  In my defense, the last time I walked into the alterer’s shop, i.e., land of thousand mirrors, I caught sight of my own butt and then went home and cried for the next 37 years.  So OBVIOUSLY the stapling was the most ideal.  Ugh.

Oh, but hey, let’s look at pretty things!  Miss Vanessa from Illyrian Polish sent me something gorgeous to share with you today.  Bye bye checkbook and all pretenses of ladylike composure, cuz it’s about to get super elbow jabby in about 2.5 seconds. GIMME.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  The Grabby Fingers, they are a’lurkin.

This is the Nil Collection, a set of 6 beautiful bottles full of holo and glitters and flakies GALORE!  Opening this swatch pack was a feat of superhuman determination, remaining upright and holding my mouth closed like a DADGUM CHAMPION.  I swear, is an award coming?  Cuz if there was ever a time for bonus points, right now would be it.

Quick rundown of the colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom!

AURORA 

DESCRIBED as a sheer teal base with blue/purple/green/pink color shifting shimmer and tiny white flecks, Aurora was the first one I swatched and then QUICKLY unattractive things happened.  SO. MUCH. DROOL.  OMG, am I still married?  Seriously, I don’t even know.

Formula here was a bit sheer, but built up nicely in three smooth and glorious coats.

MOONSHINE 

DESCRIBED as a blackened blue sheer base packed with copper shimmer, green/red iridescent glitter, holo glitters and tiny purple flecks, Moonshine is my absolute faaaaaavorite!  The sparkle!  (Dead.)  The shimmer! (More dead.)  OMG, can we not look sexy just one time, even for a little bit?  NOT TODAY!

Swatch shows two of the dreamiest coats of your life.

LOVE POTION 

DESCRIBED as a pale lilac base packed with pink/gold shimmer, tiny ultra holo glitter and red/green opalescent flakies, Love Potion is probably my second favorite.  Normally, lighter tones aren’t my favorite due to the unfortunate see-thru-ness of my skin, but there’s just something about this one.  The shimmer got me!  It got me good, guys.

Swatch shows a ridiculously perfect two coats plus sad white sausages not so sad and sausage-y.

BLUE DREAM

DESCRIBED as a blue jelly base packed with pink/gold/green shifting shimmer and ultra holo glitter, Blue Dream is just THAT:  a dream.  Everything about it is so much magical perfection, I’m literally losing control of words.  It’s moan-y throat noises from here on out.  How the rest of this blog’s getting written, I have no idea.  Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.  See?

Swatch shows – once again – two drool-y coats.  And a shimmer EXTRAVAGANZA!

JUICY FRUIT 

DESCRIBED as a light grape purple base packed with teal/green/blue shifting shimmer and ultra holo glitter, Juicy Fruit has my favorite color combo of all time: purple and green.  It’s so jaw droppingly stunning, the tongue may never go back in.  I’m 27 levels of sexy right now, in case you’re curious.

Swatch shows two luscious coats.  Who wants 18,000 bottles?  (You, to be clear.)

ALIEN

DESCRIBED as a blackened sheer base packed with silver holo, holo flakies and strong purple/red shimmer, Alien is the perfect way to end this most amazing collection.  Ugh, so pretty!  And that shimmer – legit INSANE.  I can’t even tell you how much you’re buying this cuz guess what?  YOU ALREADY KNOW.

THE ROUND UP 

Was this not one of the most beautiful collections you’ve ever saw? Seen? You’ve ever seen? Ugh. One can’t grammar at a time like this.  Cuz you’re about to toss some polish in the cart, that’s why.

The Nil Collection released previously back in late August, which means I am not very good at blogging.  However, Vanessa is restocking the shop on Friday, September 22 at 6pm CST, so toots for me for being early!  (This time.)  Here’s your shoppin’ deets:

Full collection:  $75

Single bottles:  Love Potion and Moonshine are $12; the rest are $13

Where to buy:  http://www.illyrianpolish.com

However, a word about Alien. If you want this one, you’re gonna have to get fancy. Vanessa sent her remaining bottles of Alien to her stockists, and Color4Nails has them available now for $13. A little extra step but totally worth it. 

Now set 17 alarms and put Post-It’s on all your surfaces.  COMPLETELY RATIONAL BEHAVIOR, just so you know.

Finally, some linky loos! Connect with Illyrian:

Instagram 

Facebook 

Fan Group

Off to bed, y’all!  I’m on day number one billion of not sleeping like a normal person, so let’s keep that streak going! Weeee!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •