After all the horn tooting the other day, I failed to post a blog last night and now the failure of that moment is almost too much to bear.  Is that what we can expect now from your BEST BLOGGER EVER?  Throwing out kudos and accolades and high fives in all directions, then snatching it all back in a NO SOUP FOR YOU! kind of way?

In my defense, I got paper towel fuzz in my wet nails and 2.5 seconds later, there was a dark hole and WE WERE IN IT.  I mean, there was chaos and it was everywhere.  Paper towel fuzz, then cat hair, now Dorito crumbs.  Universe, whyyyyyyy?!?!  My little mini swatch party took eons with light years and eternities on top, then it was 2 a.m. and WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?

18,000 desk naps later, and here I am blogging like a dadgum professional.

Taryn with Anchor & Heart Lacquer sent me some real beauties to review for you today.  I have the two Polish Con limited editions plus the new Maine Squeeze collection, and OMG you guys.  If there was ever a time to hoard all the polish, now sounds about right.  Get off your no-buys ladies, cuz this is a legit justified situation in progress.

First things first, the Polish Con limited edition duo.  Ready to fall in love super hardcore?  Well then lesss go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is Hello, Brooklyn:

This is a raspberry pink with scattered holo, green micro flakies and green to gold iridescent micro glitters.  I love this shade of pink, man.  While pastels are all fine and good, nothing makes me look more tan and less unattractive than a nice medium pink shade.  Pretty little sausages in just two coats.

And now, a macro:

The other half of this duo is Anchor & Heart in the City:

This one has an aqua blue creme base with gold shimmer and flashes of purple and green sparks.  It’s so dreamy!  When I think of spring, it’s colors like this that quickly come to mind.  And you’re gonna want it, just so you know.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

An ocean of lovely:

This duo releases at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, and any leftovers will be offered in the Anchor & Heart store on May 1.  Price for each is $10, but there is special tiered pricing if you’re picking these up at Polish Con.  Deets at the bottom!

The other new release is The Maine Squeeze collection:

Seriously, it just got stupid in here.  What are words?  What is breathing?  What is not having your tongue loll about outside your body?  I swear my brain has just up and gone somewhere.  This shimmery rainbow has got me all sorts of drool-y.  Time to lock myself in my bedroom cuz Ugly Ecstasy Face causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

First up is Lobster Roll:

This one is a peach leaning pink creme with red shimmer.  Appears more orange-ish in artificial light (above); more pink-ish outdoors (or under lamps like below).  But regardless, we love it so much.  Peach, pink, french fry, potato:  it’s all good either way.

I kinda wanna lick this one:

Except SOCIETY says no. Society is zero fun sometimes.

Next up is Portland Sunrise:

This one is an pale orange creme with a delicious red shimmer. Such a unique combo, I think.  The shimmer is subtle on the nail but when it hits the light, she glows so pretty.  Totally worth lugging around your LED lamp with you everywhere, cuz completely normal behavior is a thing for other people. 

Moan-y mouth noises are about to come out, I just know it:

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.  See?

Now here’s Blackberry Lemonade:

This one is a medium yellow creme with lavender shimmer. At first glance, I thought this one had a red shimmer, but these photos prove otherwise.  Most likely I was swatching it with one eye closed, cuz naps just happen sometimes.  

It was hard to get a macro of such a light color, so here’s the best shot out of 2783:

I mean, not terrible but if no award is coming, I’m not surprised.

Now we have Island Pines:

This one is a mossy light green creme with pink to green shifting shimmer.  Right about this point is where I fell apart.  Drool buckets, everywhere. Cuz you can’t have a green in here like this and expect me to act like everything is fine.  EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE.  I’m trying to stay a lady, but the sweating is so dire. 

It’s super pass-out-y in here now.  Send help.

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.

Next up is Beaches, Beaches:

This one is an azure blue creme with strong copper/orange shimmer, and basically all my blue lovers just died a little bit.  Is this not spectacular?!  Check her out under the lamps:

There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without 27 back-up bottles of this one.  Cuz rational thinking:  OUT THE WINDOW.

More macro, more drool:

How you’re turning away from all this now is beyond all the comprehensions.  Perhaps you have no eyes.  A black soul, maybe.  I dunno.

Lastly, here’s Wicked Good Blueberries:

This one is a lavender purple creme with blue to purple shifting shimmer.  And naturally, we’d end with a big ole exclamation point.  The perfect cap to a perfect collection.  It’s happiness with a Starbucks and a Leonardo on top, and what more could you ask for, really?  Except for a basketful of kitties, NOT MUCH.

Macro to seal the deal:

In the cart they go!

The Maine Squeeze collection is currently on preorder in the Anchor & Heart store until April 29 at 10pm EST.  So basically, this is a POLISH EMERGENCY!  If you’re not able to snag these at Polish Con, you have just one day to get your life together.  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.

During the online preorder, this set retails for $55 or you can get a single bottle for $10.  If you do miss the preorder, Taryn will be restocking these at some point later in May.  So keep watch!

POLISH CON SPECIALS:

To make it easy (cuz MATH; booooo), Taryn is offering a special tiered pricing for Polish Con goers.  One bottle is $10, three bottles is $28 and six bottles is $52.

Also, there’s mystery grab bags!   These could include box exclusives, Sunken Treasures, and/or polishes from previous collections.  Cost is $10 for two full size polishes or $5 for two minis. Whyyyyyyy, that’s practically free!  And we love free things; oh yes we do.

And don’t forget, the two Polish Con limited editions will be available online on May 1 if they don’t sell out.  Click here for shopping if so!

That’s it for today, but don’t worry – I’ll be back in a few hours posting another blog to make up for whatever the hell happened last night.  Insanity.  Ridiculousness.  A most inappropriate situation, at the minimum.  So stay tuned.  A lot of effort is on its way and you don’t wanna miss it.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •