Back a few months ago while scrolling through Instagram at 3 a.m., I stumbled across a picture of the Love Lula beauty box. It comes from England. For one, the internet needs to be shut down in the middle of the night because it becomes a very very dangerous place. And two, I should stop thinking everything from England is adorable cuz before you know it, I’m buying a pre-paid three months subscription without a second blink.
I’m helpless, not gonna lie.
So here is my very last box:
Yes, two pictures because I was bathing when I unboxed it and left the packet of lotion on the edge of the tub. Really shouldn’t multitask. I did another unboxing in the bath tub last night, and I ended up fishing paper confetti out of the water for about 15 minutes. Bath time is lazy time; I should know better.
Anyway, the products. I got some shampoo and conditioner by Swell. Apparently it’s part of a 3-step system, but I was unaware of what the 3rd step was as they’d only sent 1 and 2. Why would you leave out the 3rd book in a trilogy? How are you supposed to know how the story ends? Who will Katniss choose, Peeta or Gale? You get my point now. My life is hanging in the balance now that I’ve shampooed and conditioned but didn’t do whatever else I needed to do in order to complete the circle.
Of course I look it up. Step 3 is a root nutriet complex. You spray it on your roots. I don’t want that. I’ve had bad luck with root things. Most specifically in the sticky-up hair, dirty film left behind kind of way. Maybe this one doesn’t do that, but I can’t be bothered about it now. I freaked out for nothing. Oh well. Carry on.
An itty bitty Jane Iredale lip and cheek stain is next. These samples are so funny, because if we say sample, by God you get a sample! But in all honesty, I’ve never been that in love with a lipstick where I feel I need an enormous tube of it. So I’m perfectly fine with this baby size. Only problem is if I throw it in my purse, I may never find it again. As for the color, it’s one of those self-adusting pink shades. I’m not a huge fan of this style, but I will say this yields the prettiest pink I’ve ever had. And the texture is very moisturizing and soft. I like it y’all!
Speaking of teeny tiny samples, look at those two PAI skincare ones. We’re on a roll now, aren’t we? Both of these are thick, almost solid consistencies that melt into your hands as you rub them together. I liked that aspect very much. The cleanser lasted two rounds – and what can I say about a cleanser other than the texture and its function? – but the day cream is still going strong about five rounds in. You need a small amount because once it melts it spreads pretty good. And as the product starts to sink into your skin, it leaves behind a lovely velvet softness. I think I have about one more use left, which actually makes me a little sad. As sad as empty moisturizer can make me, that is. Cuz y’all know how much I love throwing things away. (Var var much.)
Another one of those boring things: nail polish remover. This time it’s the Fresh Therapies version. I got a wipe pouch, and then also a vial of the liquid remover. The vial did not survive intact on its merry ol’ jaunt from England. Not to worry, nothing leaked, but it did separate itself from the little booklet it was strapped to, and I couldn’t trouble myself with fixing it for a picture. Which is why it’s not shown. Another example of my incredible laziness, as just sitting the vial down next to the wipe packet poses too much of an exertion issue. No wonder I’ve gained 10 pounds in a year.
Last item is a packet of John Masters Organics body milk in the Blood Orange & Vanilla scent. Now THIS is the smell I’ve been looking for. It smells what I imagine Heaven to smell like – orange dreamsicle ice cream. I actually would have appreciated a deluxe sample of this instead of a one-time-use. Now if it smelled like anything else un-food-related, I would’ve taken a nap right in front of it. You see how I operate now? Here’s an easy equation for you: Food = good; other = hideous. Works in almost any situation.
Now that my 3-month subscription is over, I debated on whether to sign up again. Sadly (well, depending who you ask), I have opted not to. There was some shipping issues with this box (March never came so they sent it again, but then I got 2 April boxes and still no March), and issues of any kind stress me the ef out. So I’m gonna end it here. If that doesn’t prove right there what a responsible human being I am, I don’t know what will.
Let’s celebrate at Sephora!