Well, we’ve made it.  It’s the last box of February.  Good thing too, now that we’re six days into the month of March.  For whatever reason, Glossybox likes to be last, as they didn’t even ship my box out until February 28.  Same goes for January and all the months before.  Always last.

I’d like to say this time they saved the best for last, but it’s simply not true.  Cue sad music.  And tears.

I know.  First world problems.  WELL.  I pay for the damn thing.

Anyway, here’s what I got:

Let’s start with the most hideous first so we can end on a high note.  Nail polish.  Whyyyyyyyyeeeeeee?  I will never ever ever use up what I already have; I don’t need more nail polish.  Where is the nail-polish-off button?  Cancel. Delete.  Go away.  Ugh.

Now for those curious, it’s a Lauren B. Beauty nail polish if that means anything to you.  It’s also in a lovely spring pink color.  Anything else I can point out that is already obvious?  No.  Moving right along.

Next item to nap at is this hair spritzy thing from Pureology for color-treated hair.  I don’t have color-treated hair.  Although technically, once I calmed myself down and actually read the description, it can be used for any hair.  It’s basically a leave-in spray chock full of happy bits.  Vitamins, minerals and such as.  But I already decided against it, so I gave it to my daughter instead, who definitely does have color-treated hair.  Plus I’m always looking for ways to bribe her for a two-armed hug.  I may be her mom and she may love me, but getting her to hug me with emphasis is nigh on impossible.  Apparently I missed the notification that we’re nothing more than bros.  Bros who one-arm hug and back slap.  Booo.

Does your daughter do this?  Yes? No?  Mine might be a robot.  Who knows.

I also got a lovely box of under eye patches from Anatomicals.  While I’m not really opposed to this item, it’s primary function is to reduce puffiness.  However, I do not have a puffiness problem.  But upon further inspection, they do work for fine lines and dark circles as well.  Fine then.  The disadvantage to this product is the 30-minute wear time.  Who got 30 minutes to wear some damn eye pads?! How am I supposed to continue to live my life while wearing these things?  Like working, buying groceries, ellipticalling – where’s all that supposed to fit in while I’m spending all my time wearing eye patches?

Just kidding. I lay on the couch a lot. We’re good.

Next thing in the box is a bottle of Renu Lip and Eye Active Lift.  Sounds nice, right?  However, in the fine print right there on the front of the bottle it says for mature skin.  Excuse me, what?  I’m looking over both shoulders, trying to find the person this product was meant for, cuz certainly it’s not me.  I mean, maybe I have some fine lines under my eyes and around my mouth, and maybe there’s this weird verticle wrinkle right above my lip that makes no sense as to how it got there.  Maybe.  But that’s a far cry from mature skin, surely?

I’m pouting but I’ll use it.  I’m not really that ashamed.

I’m still using my Strivectin eye cream, and then I have another eye cream ready after that.  So for the moment, I’m using it around my mouth only.  The consistency is rather watery so a little goes a long way.  Haven’t noticed anything akin to a miracle happening, but I suppose it’s only been 3 days or so.  When I finish the bottle in 15 years, we’ll talk again.

Last product in the box is a black eyeliner by Sumita Beauty.  I know, black eyeliner.  Ho hum pigs bum.  Well, that’s what I thought at first anyway.  This product is by far the best thing in the box.  (Given the contents of the box, that’s not really a hard-fought prize.)  But here’s why:  it stays.  It’s the only eyeliner I’ve ever owned that will go in my waterline and not disappear in an hour.  It’s super black, very creamy, and hardcore.  Like I put it on for the very first time the other day, and I was like, hold up?  What kind of voodoo magic is this?  It’s that impressive.

Usually the eyeliner in my waterline is gone by 9am.  This one holds out for ages.  Granted, it’s not super duper bold by the end of the work day, but it’s still there.  And the fact it’s still there makes this eyeliner – dare I say it? – my holy grail.

Cue shocked audience sounds.

I know.  But it’s true.  I’ve also used it on my upper lid, and this creamy eyeliner sets like a rock.  Does. Not. Move.  There’s a part on my inner upper eyelid where my eyeliner likes to feather out, then disappear altogether.  It happens with all my eyeliners.  Except this one.  You guys!  Go get this.  Do it.  Immediately.

So, yes, I was slightly bummed about the contents of this month’s box.  The eyeliner saved it a bit.  But then I got an email from Glossybox with a sneak peek for the March box, and there’s a Sisley Paris mask in it.  Squeeeeeee!  Okay, I love you again, Glossybox.  Friends?