Quixotic Polish: She Sells Seashells Collection

I halfway expected to blind myself during yesterday’s solar eclipse. Cuz you’re perfectly fine not ever looking at the sun until someone TELLS you not to look at the sun. Then suddenly you are like a 9-year-old child gleefully saying cuss words to yourself out in the backyard: you know it is wrong, but quite simply, your brain’s done gone away somewhere.

I figure, however, now is not the time for a science experiment, considering eyes and all the seeing that is left to do. To combat the crazy, I spent an extraordinary amount of time looking up disaster stories on eclipse viewing gone wrong, and OMG, MISTAKE! ABORT, ABORT! I swear, can I not just for one second try to be sexy? NOT TODAY! Or at least not while covered in 27 tubes of hives cream. Ahhhh, Anxiety, my evil friend. How I managed to leave the house somehow NOT wearing a tin foil UV ray-deflecting jumpsuit is practically a DADGUM miracle.

In other words, clearly I need supervised. Although, I did tell my 23-year-old daughter she wasn’t allowed to go outside in case she accidentally burned a hole in her retina (as you do) cuz I like to spread the anxiety around. My daughter loooooves being related to me, I just know it.

Thank goodness I’ve got this nail polish thing on lock! Mary from Quixotic Polish sent me her beautiful She Sells Seashells collection to review for you today, and if pearly, shimmery, delicious iridescence is your thing, well you’re about to have your best day EVER. Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

An insane display of pretty? YES INDEED. It’s time for some noodle legs in case you’re curious. (You are!) Here’s a quick rundown of the colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom:

SEASHELL SHIMMERS

DESCRIPTION: A pearly white with strong purple shimmer

OPACITY: I did three coats on this one, although some may only need two

This one ended up being a surprise favorite. Normally, I’m kind of indifferent with white, but toss in a bunch of glorious purple shimmer, and NO ONE is walking away. Looks exactly like the inside of a seashell. Mary nailed this one, for sure.

SEA URCHINS

DESCRIPTION: A light lavender with strong green shimmer

OPACITY: Two was just fine, but I added three cuz it physically hurt to stop polishing

All you purple lovers, get on this, stat. One bottle plus 27 backups in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces. As happens from time to time. Cuz rational behavior is for other people. Weeeee!

SAND CASTLES

DESCRIPTION: A sandy nude with strong turquoise shimmer

OPACITY: Again, two was fine but I did three

Look what else you’re buying! Gah! So pretty. Neutral shades like this are usually my last pick, but this one has just enough darkness in it to make my sad white sausages look slightly less white and sad. And for that fact alone, I lub it lots!

REFLECTIONS

DESCRIPTION: A sky blue with strong gold shimmer

OPACITY: Two coats; three for funsies

The blue pulls you in but the gold makes you stay. There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without spending some money. Unless you don’t like pretty things. Or you have no eyes. I dunno.

CRUSHED IT

DESCRIPTION: A magenta pink with blue shimmer

OPACITY: Two or three; you know the drill

I can’t think of a better way to end this blog. Something bold and vibrant and super duper sexy. I’d say “like me” but then again, you’ve read this blog before. Nothing sexy to see here, let’s just say. Thank goodness I’m such a trophy wife or we’d all be worried.