New Beauty Test Tube | September 2014


Somebody turned on the cold air outside and I’m not happy one bit. Why do we go from 100-degrees to freezing cold so quickly like that? Can it be in the low 80s longer than one day please? This 50-degree morning about aggravated my old aerobics injury and I was none too pleased.

Well, here’s my New Beauty Test Tube then:


I’m just gonna put it out there. I wouldn’t have bought any of this stuff myself. Maybe the eyebrow pencil. But everything else wouldn’t have caught my eye if it was flashing neon. Lemme explain.

This It’s a 10 Miracle Leave-In is boring as hell. I’ve used the light version (courtesy of New Beauty) and it about put me to sleep, so why New Beauty deemed it necessary to send me the non-light version is beyond me. To be fair, however, I haven’t tried this one yet. Maybe it’s so much more fabulous that the light. Maybe the light version took out all the good stuff. I mean, when I have a non-fat no-whip Starbucks it’s nowhere near as delicious as full fat. In other words, I’m gonna give it a try anyway. In other other words, I want a Starbucks.

Lotion doesn’t excite me too much. I use it, yes, but I don’t get psychotic over it. Not usually anyway. So receiving this Molton Brown pink pepperpod lotion in the tube made my face go like this: -__-

At least it’s expensive. Full size of this is $42. So if I don’t get beside myself over the smell (slightly peppery, aptly), or thrilled enough over the packaging (several notches over Dollar Tree, but it ain’t no L’Occitane), I can revel in the fact it costs the same as supplying water flow to my house for an entire month.

The Miracle 10 exfoliating AHA cream is perhaps the best thing in the box. It’s also the smallest thing in the box, so that sounds about right. I had to contact the company to figure out what to do with this stuff. You know how scared I get when I don’t have explicit instructions. Just telling me I apply this after cleaning my face tells me approximately ZERO of what I really need to know. Is it serum, is it moisturizer? Is it both? According to the lovely people at Miracle 10 it’s ALL those things and more! complete with jazz hands. I was told I can use it and then moisturize after. But I can also use it with a serum; however, they needed to know what the active ingredients in my serum was first before committing to that statement. So officially I’m properly terrified. I’m just gonna go with option 1 and cleanse, tone, Miracle 10, then moisturize. Seems safer and less face-falling-off.

I’m alright with this ybf brow pencil. I usually use a powder to fill in my brows, so having another option is fine by me. This particular one is a universal color that’s supposed to work with everyone’s eyebrows. Also, according to its website, it is the world’s best selling eyebrow pencil. It is? How often have you seen ybf in the stores, on YouTube, or brought up in casual conversation? My experiences tally up to zero, so how it became the #1 best seller seems like a very awesome magic trick.

Aside from all that, the spooley brush on the end is good quality and it applies pretty decently. It’s gonna take me some practice to actually create an eyebrow that can be seen in public, but I’ll get there.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’d know this is my third can of the Avene thermal water spray. What am I supposed to do with this? Well, the first can went in the trash. The second can I decided to keep and have been spritzing my chest and shoulders with it before applying lotion (to make it absorb better – a purpose I may have just made up). At some point I will use it as a setting spray, to moisten my eyeshadow brush, or as a facial toner. Or it may just sit in the darkness of my under the sink cabinet for the next 15 years. I mean, this is my third can and I’ve yet to finish one.

Last thing in the box was this Equitance skin care kit in the form of a cleanser, toner, serum and moisturizer. Not pictured is a one-time-use packet of sunscreen and a pouch of vitamins. I’ll tell you right now I’m not even gonna mess with those two things. But the kit is alright despite it looking like it came out of a doctor’s office. I’ve already decided I’m taking all of it with me to Vegas since it’s so travel friendly. It’s the brightening formula, and lord knows I could use some brighter skin. If all my splotches and freckles would kindly vacate, that’d be great, thanks.

Well now that you’ve been prepped appropriately for bed, I’m gonna go ahead and go now. Thanks for hanging out. More fun stuff tomorrow.

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