Oh, Skin Care, how I love thee.

This statement is completely hilarious to me cuz prior to last September I hadn’t washed my face for about 39 years. That’s not much of an exaggeration either. There’d be small spurts of skin care interest, like that one time about 4 years ago when I became a BeautiControl consultant for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

I’ve owned cleansers and masks and so forth, but they’d literally last me years as the only day I’d wash my face was Sunday in order to start the work week as clean as possible.

Ew. Did you just throw up a little bit? Isn’t that just so gross?

Well I’m making up for it, trust me. I am in the very midst, the absolute deepest center, the furthest reaches of the black hole abyss vortex thingie of an obsession. I now need to own, and use, every bit of skin care I can get my hands on.

I mean, if you’re gonna have an obsession, for heavens sake, do it right.

So it only made sense to sign up for OneRadiant. Customized skin care just for me. This right here is my second box:

Let’s get right to that packet thing. You know how I feel about packets. However, since it’s just eye cream I suppose I’ll let it slide. (Yes, I make exceptions for my own rules. I’m the boss of me.)

The eye cream is from Juara. I used it for two days before I tossed it. I could probably have eked out a couple more days but I lost interest. If it had only been in a tube…

I will say the consistency was nice. It was not watery but slightly thicker which is what I prefer. I wish I could say my wrinkles disappeared after my two-day trial but no.

So in other words, this little science experience was all for naught. Packets should be banned. That’s all I’m saying.

Ever wanted to wash your face with 24k gold? I never cared about it before, but now that I have this exfoliating cream cleanser from LaRocca, I get to feel oh so fancy every night of the week (well, until the sample runs out). I’ve been using this the past couple of nights, and it does have some pretty apparent exfoliating bits in it. It says it’s gentle, but the bits are a little rougher than some of my other cleansers. I suppose if you barely touch your face while cleansing you can call it gentle. And then hopefully your latent magic powers kick in, as I imagine barely touching your face would equal barely cleaning it either.

What am I going on about? I dunno.

I did see on the website it also says it’s made with wind power. WIND POWER! Pretty sure I should be rather excited about that part, but I have no idea what it means. Maybe it’s churned by milk maids sitting amidst the windmill fields in Holland. Not sure what kind of benefit that would garner either, but that’s the kind of psychological brain trickery that makes me buy about 97.736484% of everything I own.

Next thing is this day serum from CellCeuticals called Extreme Defense. It contains antioxidants that helps prevent skin damage. I’ve used it for the past week, and at first I was pairing it with this horrific moisturizer and the serum was peeling off my face in an eraser shaving-like incident. Thought maybe I was using the product wrong so I contacted the company for further instruction. They were so appalled by my description of what had happened, apologized profusely, and are now sending me another sample as a replacement.

In other words, if their product doesn’t work that well, at least their customer service does.

Decided to toss the moisturizer and use something else with the serum. And guess what? Serums works flawlessly. This relieves me greatly as the price for the full size is $70. My faith in expensive skin care has been restored. Amen.

Speaking of moisturizers, got this tube of skin strengthening complex from Nia24, which according to their website is niacin-powered skin therapy. There is a whole Q&A on their site about niacin and what it does for your skin. I will attempt to condense this for you:

Increases the skin barrier which means better skin texture and tone. Niacin can cause flushing and/or itching of the skin, which should subside in a few hours. Alright then, I’m excited!

There is a detailed chart showing how to use this product for the first week and how to gradually increase on the second week. I’m already tired and I haven’t even used this yet. If I need specified instructions in order to apply something as simple as moisturizer, I’m scared a little bit. On the other hand, full size is $93.

Sucked right in. Let’s start immediately.

Last product in the box is an evening serum from pH Advantage called PM Vitamin Triple Complex.  I freaking love this stuff. It goes on like silk and disappears into your skin almost instantly.  I’m a huge texture lover, and this one is texture at its finest. I will actually be sad when the little samples are gone because that means undoubtedly I am going to have to shell out $48.50 to get more.

The only issue I have with this product is the instructions on how to use it.  It says to apply sparingly. How much is sparingly, I ask you?  Dime size? Pea size? Smaller? Again, I need clear, concise information here people. Also, what happens if I go over their definition of sparingly? Will there be some kind of chemical reaction situation upon my face, like a lab experiment gone horribly awry?

Do I need to take control of the United States Product Instructions Department? Mandate a few things, enact some laws or something? I think yes.  Otherwise, this rampant vague instructioning habit will never end.

Well, off to write a letter to my congressman. Later, loves.