Hi, gang. Hope all is well for you today. I went to Ulta and purchased two Carol’s Daughter Monoi hair masks for the price of one, so it’s been pretty successful on my end. In fact, I could probably just get back in pajamas for the next week or so and still come out ahead. Plenty of success to spread around, as you can see.

Here’s what I dumped out of my trash today. It’s empties time, people! Otherwise known as your FAVORITE TIME OF THE MONTH (for me, it just causes carpal tunnel). Enjoy:

I was trying to keep my t-zone oil at a controllable level, so thought I’d give the Urban Decay Deslick setting spray a chance. There were times when I felt it worked, and then there were other times when I was sure it didn’t. So, not sure what all that’s about. It was probably psychological brain trickery for the most part, which is how about 95.83758% of all my other makeup works. Would I repurchase? Probably. Cuz I’ve been brainwashed, that’s why.

One thing I’m almost certain works without any kind of magic, voodoo or witchcraft interference is the new Smashbox pore minimizing primer. I got a tiny packet sample plus another from the Sephora store, and I may be struck by lightning for saying this, but I’d swear it works better than the Benefit Porefessional. And I don’t say that lightly, considering I have caverns for pores and all. Like, if you have the skin of a 14-year-old, this stuff may make you disappear altogether. I truly liked it and I will be purchasing the full size as soon as I’m finished with my current pore filler.

I was so excited to try this Medusa’s Makeup Stick It eyeshadow primer because I’ve only used a handful of others and nothing is really a holy grail at this point. It had its good points, mostly the fact it wasn’t in a tube and the consistency was very smooth and light feeling. I actually enjoyed applying this every morning. However, the bad news is that I have a partially hooded left eye that didn’t want to cooperate, and my eyeshadow creased on me. I suppose, in retrospect, the primer didn’t set all the way, and my wonky eye just pushed it over the edge. Such a bummer I had to pass it along to my sister, but I know she will love it and care for it in a way I could not. I may still get visitation rights.

I absolutely loved the Dior Maximizer Lash Plumping Serum. It transformed some of my very basic mascaras into champions. The tube I got was just a sample, so it didn’t last very long, but I have another sample tube on the way as we speak which I’m very excited about. This stuff will fan out your lashes beautifully and make any mascara you put on top perform better than ever. After I use up my next sample, the full size is going in the basket. It will be interesting to see what happens to my lashes after continuous daily use. Perhaps it will solve all my problems. We shall see.

If you like silicone foundation primers, the Lorac POREfection primer is a pretty good one. Feels soft on the skin, and it will absolutely control oil. Or at least on me it did – probably cuz the silicone plugged up all my oil holes, which sounds possibly dangerous, but worth it, to me. I have found that silicone primers work best for minimizing t-zone oil. I don’t know if everyone already knows that, or if I just made some sort of breakthrough discovery, in which case, you are all my witnesses that I figured it out FIRST.

How about some hair and body stuff:

I was in a pinch. I had ran out of dry shampoo and didn’t feel like running an extra errand to Ulta for my Batiste. I was already at Walmart, about half an hour from pajama time, so an executive decision was made and the Not Your Mother’s dry shampoo landed in the basket. Was it a good call? Well let’s just say it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever made. I once jumped on a trampoline in boots, and that ended up way way worse than this. At first, I thought the dry shampoo was performing pretty good. Had a nice amount of powder, but not too much for those dark haired girls who don’t prefer it. But about 2/3 down the can, the powder power pooped out and blew plain canned air on me instead. It never recovered, so I had to move on. However, I will say I would definitely repurchase if I ever find myself at Walmart again with another dry shampoo emergency (which is an actual thing, just so you know).

Wanted to give the Body Shop body butters a try since they seem to be a pretty popular item, and heaven knows I can’t be left out of the loop. I chose Coconut cuz that’s my favorite smell, but also because I wasn’t that much of a fan of the other scent options. At first application, I felt this body butter was thick, creamy and very smooth and I did like it. But it was kind of sticky and took longer to sink into my skin, a fact I’m pretty sure no one else in the world but me has experienced. As indicated by the ridiculous amount of 5-star reviews on Ulta, so clearly you should not listen to me. However I’m not gonna buy another one, as my curiosity has officially been sated. The end.

And now, face stuff:

I used this TheBalm white tea rose cleanser for about two months straight and it just wouldn’t die. I was trying very hard to be patient and use the entire full size bottle that I purchased willingly and excitedly. But there was just nothing very satisfying about this cleanser that made me look forward to it every day. Yes, it cleaned my skin. It had a nice gentle rose scent. Other than that, though, what could I really say about it? I paid half price for it at Hautelook, so that’s something. And, ummm … I gave it to my husband to finish. So yeah. Nexxxxxt.

I’ve tried several cleansing milks over the past year, and came across some really nice ones. Ordered the Le Couvent des Minimes version cuz I needed a new brand to try, but most importantly, it came in a big pink adorable hat box that would look lovely stored under my bathroom sink for the next 15 years. Welllll, it would.

I did not enjoy this cleansing milk that much. It was super thin, and I prefer the thicker, cling-to-your-skin types. It did its job, don’t get me wrong, but other than that, I’m just thankful about that box.

I have no idea why I put this Chanel HydraBeauty eye cream in the photo as I already reviewed it in my Birthday Haul Part 3 post. Opinion still stands, so feel free to refer to the post for more info. I would link it for you, but certainly you can click back a few posts without breaking a finger, yes? Cuz you know, carpal tunnel on my end and all that. It’s a dire situation, obviously.

One product I did like was the Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel. This definitely is a cling-to-your-skin type, and I loved it. Felt soft as I applied it to my skin. Had a nice perfume-y scent, which may bother sensitive types, but I enjoyed wholeheartedly. I would have no problem repurchasing this as it is definitely special enough to merit a second round. Of course, I only have like 17 other cleansers to get through first, so you know, one day.

How about some wipies:

After a successful use of some Ole Henriksen wipes, I was hoping to find something similar at the drugstore that wouldn’t cost me three Starbucks’ worth. Decided on the Pond’s exfoliating wipes because they had an Allure Beauty Award sticker on them, and that sucks me in every time. Now these are nothing like the Ole ones, but they’re still a nice wipe. Smelled citrusy, a good size, and was adequately wet. I only use these in the morning to wipe away any oil that’s made its way to the surface while sleeping, so as an actual makeup remover, I cannot attest. You’re welcome for this thorough and informative review. Moving on.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are these unpleasant Lumene Sensitive Touch wipes. If you like small sizes, or barely damp cloths, then by all means give these a go. I, however, do not. Literally these dried out within minutes. I’m not sure if that’s the “sensitive” factor or not, but regardless, no thank you. And that Allure Beauty Award sticker? Blasphemy.

Lord, are we done? No. Here’s some makeup:

Had to toss this ModelCo eyeliner. It was mildly black, but most importantly, it transferred color to my wonky hooded left eye. I’ve never had an eyeliner do this, so not sure what’s wrong with it. Probably works just fine on someone without my hideous deformity. But for me, they’re a no bueno.

A long time ago, prior to the makeup obsession that has taken over my life, I was really good at applying liquid eyeliner. I would swipe it on like nobody’s business, 10, 15 seconds per eye tops. Then I had to go all OCD over everything makeup related and completely ruin my eyeliner mojo. So I have to toss this TheBalm Schwing liquid eyeliner cuz I can’t apply it for shit. I make a mess, or I get the hives just trying to make two matching eyelids. It goes lumpy, bumpy and completely hideous. It could be cuz the brush isn’t as precise as the Rimmell one I used in the past. Or it could be cuz I’ve lost my touch. Or maybe it’s cuz I’ve honed new skills, primarily in the anal-retentive perfectionist area. That’s probably more like it.  I’m extremely anal-retentive.  It’s hard being me, you guys. It’s just SO. HARD.

I very much enjoyed this Benefit Gimme Brow.  I got the shade medium/deep since there are only two colors, but it’s a good match anyway.  The tip on the wand is very small, so applying the gel to your brows is very easy and makes nary a mess.  It’s not as precise as a pencil or a something applied with an angled brush, but it does fill in the fleshy gaps those with sparse eyebrows suffer from.  And it’s quick quick quick, an ideal tool for rushed mornings.  I will definitely repurchase one day, because even though I prefer a more detailed eyebrow, sometimes I run out of time to be a perfectionist and I’m forced to take shortcuts.  Cuz apparently 90 minutes isn’t long enough to put on makeup in the morning.  And time management is a foreign, non-existent thing.

I opened up my Benefit Sugar Bomb boxed blush the other day, and it was crumbled to smithereens.  I have no idea how that came to be, as I don’t even use the blush that often.  I can only assume it has a 3-year-old granddaughter written all over it.  In any case, prior to its fateful demise, it was my very first Benefit blush I’d ever purchased.  It had a mix of colors in it, but when blended together, pulled a peachy pink color.  It wasn’t very dark – seemed like it would make more sense as a highlighter – but I did enjoy it while I had it.  Very shimmery, though, so beware if that’s not your thing.  I spent about one day trying to salvage the crumbled blush by pretending it was a loose mineral powder and everything was fine.   Then I gave up the charade because I didn’t love the blush enough to care about it.  I’m a horrible mommy, I know.

Last one – moisturizers:

I love sampling small tubes of moisturizer.  I can get so bored by large jars, especially when the moisturizer isn’t anything special.  I used this SkinMedica Dermal Repair Cream within the span of about a week, and while I was okay with tossing it out, if it had lasted a little longer, that would have been fine too.  The smell of this, though, was quite strong.  It wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t to die for either.  However, it was very creamy, applied smoothly, and then left my skin feeling super soft once it sank in.  Full size is $124, so I know I’ll never use it again.  Maybe if it looked and smelled like chocolate pudding, I’d reconsider.

One product I did not enjoy is the Ahava Time to Smooth Even Tone moisturizer.  I got a full size in my Beauty DNA box, which was all well and good.  I was happy to have it.  But I found no happiness in using it.  The consistency wasn’t very creamy, and the product itself left a shiny, unattractive sheen on my face that seemed to sit there and not penetrate no matter how long I gave it.  I tried my best to use up the whole jar because I absolutely hate tossing half empty products, but I just couldn’t do it.  About 3/4 of the way through, I gave up.  Surrendered.  I’m not sure if that’s bad juju, and maybe the universe with revolt on me in a face-falling-off sort of way.  Perhaps I will drop my glass bottle of Guerlain foundation on the floor (which would truly break my heart in a million pieces).  But I threw karma to the wind and tossed it anyway.  Who has time for unhappiness?  Using unfulfilling products?  Who likes to be disappointed every morning when putting on their moisturizer?  Possibly crazy people.

Received a full size jar of the Le Couvent des Minimes moisturizer in that pretty pink hat box mentioned above.  My husband and I were super adorable and split this moisturizer every evening.  I might have forced him into it, but adorable nonetheless.  This was a pretty good product.  Had an almost silicone look to it – was a white cream but not completely opaque – and it was nice and soft.  The smell was of roses, but also had a hint of cinnamon.  I’m sure there wasn’t the least bit of cinnamon in it, but I dare you to not smell the same thing.  It took us a long time to use this up as a little goes a very long way.  And finally I just got bored with it and moved on to something else, as I am wont to do.

Okay, my loves, you have made it to the end of a very long post.  I’m gonna go wrap my wrists up in a brace and take a nap.  See what all I go through for my people?  Do you see?  I am nothing if not professional.  Bye friends!