An ode to Birchbox:

Birchbox is my first true love, the beauty box that started it all, the box that sent me head first into a sea of other beauty boxes. What I’m trying to say is all this, this obsession I am in the midst of, this insanity of needing to buy all the things…

Well, it’s Birchbox’s fault.

Someone just needs to take my shopping privileges away. ‘Cause despite it being all Birchbox’s fault, which we’ve now established and put in writing (therefore making it a legal, binding contract), I realize I am no longer able to control myself. I’m pretty sure I’ll buy anything at this point.

A Slanket. A portable infrared sauna, because who doesn’t love sweating for no reason and in inappropriate locations. A crocheted tea kettle cozy for the tea kettle I don’t own. Heck, let’s just stick a tea kettle in the shopping cart then. Problem = solved.

I’ve lost my whole point. Shut up, Brain.

Received my 6th Birchbox. Sometimes I like the stuff and sometimes it’s a crapshoot. Here’s what’s inside this time:

The best thing in this box, the most exciting, is the Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser. I love skin care, and the fact that this is award-winning (over 90 of them), world-renowned, and comes with muslin cloths, makes me giddy with ridiculous excitement. When’s the last time you were giddy over a facial cleanser? Yeah, so you should probably go buy this.

Another item that makes me so very happy is the little jar of glycerine hand cream by Camille Beckman. I have loved glycerine lotions since the 90s, but I literally haven’t owned any for 19 years. So getting this in my box was a lovely reminder. The smell is divine but I had to look it up to describe it to you: jasmine, bergamot, patchouli and vanilla amber. That’s a mouthful for what I can only manage to describe as a “warm” scent. Theirs is more descriptive, but mine requires less energy. Easy route, taken.

Next up is the loose mineral eyeshadow from Inika Cosmetics in the shade Eternal Marine. It is a very pretty grey green, but I’m not a fan of loose pigments. In fact, a loose anything doesn’t bode well with me. Unless you are my pants, which doesn’t happen very often anyway.

Last two items are kind of a bummer. First one is a one-time-use packet of OmniPotent Duosity hair repair treatment. While the product may be fantastic, sending me anything in a little packet makes me want to immediately take a nap. I loathe packets. Packets can go to the back of the line. Bye bye.

Then the stinker of them all: the 3 bags of Ahmad Tea London. I have nothing against the company or their products, but I just don’t drink tea. Birchbox has sent me tea three times out of six boxes; it’s time to stop it.

All in all, though, I’m pretty satisfied with my box. I’m excited to try out the Liz Earle, and applying my glycerine lotion puts a big o nerdy smile on my face. And when’s the last time a product did that?

Yeah, you should probably go buy this too.