Lawd. Help me. And stop sending me Ulta 20% off coupons.

I just can’t let a good coupon go to waste though. I even have three Sephora coupons waiting for me, and I’m literally freaking out. My heart tells me to go shopping but my brain gives me the stink eye. Ugh, the struggle.

Alright, let’s just ignore all that business and get started with the haul. Here’s a few things I picked up from Sephora last week:

The first thing there is a 100 point perk item so it was free. Yay for free, am I right? Kind of was expecting a bit bigger bottle but I’m thinking it might last longer than I’m expecting. It’s the Ole HenriksenTruth Serum. You know how I love my serums. I’d probably buy a tube of slug trail if someone told me it was a serum. Sad, but embarrassingly true.

Anyway this stuff is full of vitamin C and is supposed to smooth out my fine lines and prevent further skin damage. So we will see. I’m excited to use it cuz the B5 gel moisturizer I have says it works very well with vitamin C treatments. I don’t know why, but you tell me it’s so then IT. IS. SO.

Next thing is a travel size tube of Givenchy Noir Couture mascara. It has a really unique wand, but that’s not really why I bought it. I bought it cuz it is Givenchy, and I don’t own any Givenchy, and as you know I need to own all the things.

I know. I’m ridiculous.

But I did use it, and it was nice. Not the most amazing thing I’ve ever owned, but definitely not the worst. It does say if I’d use it everyday for 4 weeks, I could have visibly curled, volumized and lengthened lashes. I’m about 97.37753% certain I’m not using this everyday for 4 weeks. My 15 billion other mascaras won’t let me.

Speaking of other mascaras, next item is the Eyeko Skinny Brush mascara. This stuff is pretty good. The brush is definitely unique but it can make your lashes clumpy if you’re not careful. I recommend only a few passes through the lashes and then moving on with your day. It gives really really nice length so you don’t need to spend light years swiping this on anyway.

Next item is another freebie, one of the samples you always get free with your order. I picked the Peter Thomas Roth Camu Camu Sleeping Mask. You put this on over your moisturizer before bed. In other words, I’ve added yet another step to my nightly skin care routine. I’m up to 18 steps now or something like that. My husband knows when I say I’m going to take my makeup off, he won’t see me for at least 45 minutes. But when I look 40 when I’m 80, who’ll be whining then? He will, but only if he’s blind. And stupid.

Last item is the Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder in the color Dim Light. This powder is all the rage right now. And whether it works or doesn’t work makes no difference to me. Everyone has it so immediately I need it. Hell if I’m gonna be left out. I’ll see to that!

This was pretty expensive. And if it bathes me in flattering light, I wouldn’t know. I work in an office under a fluorescent tube all day. Nothing penetrates that shit. But the point is owning all the things, and really people, what more do you expect out of me?

Here’s more stuff:

YouTube is so evil. I would never know this $98 bottle of Perricone MD Blue Plasma existed otherwise. But now that I know, I can’t unknow so look what’s sitting on my bathroom counter. Hmmmphf.

But regardless, Blue Plasma is a daily leave-on exfoliant that’s supposed to replace your old face with a new one. So if that’s gonna cost me $98 so be it.

Last adorable little thing is this Tarte cheek stain in the color Fearless. I loved this. The application is easy and the color looks so natural on the skin. I do not regret for one second buying this off some stranger on eBay who probably touched it all over with his fingers. I mean, it is pretty cute. It’d be hard not to.

That’s it for now, lovies. I have more new things, but at this point it’s really just an everyday normal thing in my life. Chances are, if there’s a day when I don’t have a new thing you need to be very very suspicious. And send gift cards immediately.