The good thing about the end of August is my birthday. Also, fall weather is approaching. The bad thing is that winter is right around the corner and I haaaate winter. In fact, if hating winter was a job, I’d be like Employee of the Month. Every month. Blech.

Empties time! Here’s some bath stuff:

The bottle of Julien Farel Restore is about half empty. I just couldn’t do it. This product is designed for use on dry hair and replaces your shampoo and conditioner on the day you use it. Well that’s well and good, but my hair comes to my mid-back and trying to adequately coat my dry hair in this stuff took me about 20 minutes and I used half the bottle. I might’ve been using it wrong. But regardless, it wasn’t any fun whatsoever and I actually dreaded using it again. Not only that, but my hair had a weird texture during the blow dry that it’d never had before.

So no thank you is all I have to say about that. I decided not to finish the bottle and put myself through unnecessary stress. I am so grown up, I impress even me.

I just reviewed the body wash from Not Soap, Radio that came in my August Birchbox, so feel free to refer back to that post. However, if you want a tiny synopsis, I will tell you this smelled like lemons and it cleaned my body. What else do you really need to know? It’s body wash. It does what it do. I’d buy it again. The end.

Last product is the baby wash by Original Sprout. I got this in a Vegan Cuts box and it’s for babies. How I ended up with it is beyond me but I used it anyway. It smells exactly like baby shampoo which is such a nice, comforting scent. I didn’t wash my hair with it, only my body and I enjoyed it. Probably for nostalgic reasons only, but still. I can’t say I wouldn’t repurchase because it truly was a nice product, but I’m pretty certain I won’t cuz I don’t hang out in the baby aisle too often. Not on purpose anyway.

My favorite word – serums! See below:

Only two serum empties this month cuz I was using an actual full size product. The Farmhouse Fresh Wine Down serum is sold at the spa where I work. Well, I don’t work AT the spa, but it’s very very close to me. In fact it’s in such close proximity I feel an impending credit card situation happening almost constantly. It’s too easy to just walk over there on lunch break. I mean, they don’t make you scan fingerprints or get pat-downs or anything else undesirable in order to shop there. No, they just leave the door unlocked all willy nilly and you can just walk in all you want.

But back to the serum. It’s got the same antioxidants in it that’s in red wine. I don’t know what that means in terms of skincare, but I love wine so …

InStyle magazine selected this as one of their best products for serious skin repair. In other words, it’s made with red wine and I love red wine.

Wait, it’s not made out of red wine. Just has the same properties as red wine. It will protect your skin from dirty outside stuff as well as helping you to look bright eyed, hydrated, and flawless. Plus you use it while you sleep so no morning effort required. I really really liked this serum. I felt like it gave my skin just this really nice evenness it didn’t have before. I looked very “clean” if that makes sense. Plus it was red in color and smelled like tart grapes. Probably due to the wine. Mmmm, wine. Did I mention it has wine in it? Welllll, it does.

Next serum is a facial oil type thingy from MUN. It is for brightening youth, which we all love and want. I had to contact the company to verify how to use this product, as it’s an oil not a lotion or even something silicon-y that I get with a lot of serums. They swore to me this was a serum and should be used as moisturizer or before additional moisturizer if your skin needs it.

Well regardless of what it is, it smells like pickles.

Other people go on and on about its lovely smell. Apparently it is the true smell of roses. Well, herbally smells must go right over my head cuz I was not thinking roses not even a little bit. It was pickles. Or maybe it is what I imagine a cactus to smell like. I dunno. But definitely not roses.

On a better note, this stuff absorbed nicely and left my skin feeling very very soft.

And now for some face stuff:

Got a couple of TheBalm products in here. Last fall, Hautelook had them on sale about every other week or so (seems like) so I collected like every eyeshadow palette and a whole slew of skincare. I’ve liked most of the stuff I’ve tried. This cucumber toner felt refreshing on the skin. Price was pretty decent at $12.50, although I paid about $6 for it. The blueberry mask, however, is a little misleading. I was expecting a blueberry explosion, but it was merely white in color with no fruity smell whatsoever. As far as its mask skills go, I did like it. It left my skin feeling very smooth and soft. It also lasts light years. I swear it replicated itself after every use. I got bored with using it since I had like eons worth of other masks to try, so I tossed it before it was completely empty. Yes I feel guilty.

I really loved the Boscia Detoxifying Black Cleanser. I’d buy a big o tub of it without a second thought. It’s because it’s different. It does something physical to your skin. It may not clean worth a shit, but it warms up upon contact with your skin and smells vaguely like Good ‘N Plenty. Yaaaasss! I could eat Good ‘N Plenties for hours and not get tired. I loooooove me some black licorice. One of my most favorite tastes. Right up there with coconut and dark chocolate. I find it strange that most of the world aren’t fans of black licorice. I’m like, why?! It’s delicious. But more for me, I guess.

Are we still talking about the Boscia cleanser? No. Licorice. Yummy.

One cleanser that bored me straight to tears was the Algenist Gentle Rejuvenating cleanser. There was just nothing special about it. It was very thick, had a pearly paste consistency, and clung to your skin as you were applying it. Maybe that means it was sucking all the dirt out. Maybe that means it was annoying to wipe off cuz you felt you could never quite get it all. Maybe I’m just a brat who should sit back down cuz apparently everyone else in the world loves it. Yeah, that’s probably it. Okay.

Next up, lotion:

Despite having the name of something that isn’t a recognize able smell, the Ayres body butter in Patagonia is a pretty darn good product. It smells sort of like herbs so it isn’t the most refreshing, but it sinks in very fast. I can tolerate a less than lovely smell for the sake of a non-sticky body butter. I am going to buy a full size of this very soon cuz I’ve tried lots of body butters, and this is one of the best. Might try a different scent though.

One smell I couldn’t tolerate was the one coming from the tube of Lavilin Jojoba Skin Soother. It was super no bueno. Unless you like wet dog or rusty penny smell spread all over your body. That’s not even a joke. Like it was so bad I had to spritz myself with some expired Victoria’s Secret coconut body mist (i.e., poison) so I could tolerate my own self. And it’s unfortunate too cuz this was hands down the BEST absorbent lotion I’ve ever tried.

Last thing is from my August Birchbox, the SeaRX Birchsap Moisturizing lotion. This was a great product. A lot lighter than the Ayres body butter and smelled better too. Sank in fast as well. Sounds like I like this better than the Ayres doesn’t it? Well, if I want a light lotion, then yes. The full size price is the same for both – $28. I would be happy owning either one, but for nights when I want a bit more hydration, the Ayres works best for me.

Lord, are we done? No. Here’s some primers:

I was dying to try something from the Cover|FX brand. Dying so much that I literally didn’t care what it was. So when I saw this little travel size tube of mattifying primer with anti-acne treatment, I threw it in the basket without another thought. Do I have an acne problem? No. But that’s beside the point.

I’m not gonna say this primer solved all my problems. It’s heavily siliconed, but I didn’t think it kept me from getting oily. And it certainly didn’t mattify me to the degree I thought it should. However, I will say I used this under my Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk foundation and it caused the finish to not be luminous. So I guess it does work somewhat. Just not in the way I was expecting. Or maybe I’m just not meant to be matte. Maybe my life hates me and is punishing me in an oily t-zone, cavernous pores sort of way.

Traded in some Sephora points for this little sample of the Make Up For Ever HD primer. I liked this pretty good. It had a lotiony texture but was very light and sunk in super fast so it didn’t feel like I was adding another layer of moisturizer which I do not like. I would most definitely repurchase this one. Of course, I have enough primers in my stash that I could pass a few down to my granddaughters one day, so who knows if I’ll actually get around to buying a new one. Hashtag hoarder.

Shhhhh. I know.

I’ve had this tube of Urban Decay eyeshadow primer potion for almost a year and I used it every single day. Talk about value for your money. I occasionally threw in a few days of sampling other brands like Lorac, Too Faced and TheBalm, but I liked Urban Decay better than all of them. My left eyelid has a major creasing issue because it can’t behave itself like a proper eyelid and stay up where it belongs. I have never had one single solitary crease problem when using the Urban Decay. This will definitely be repurchased once I empty out my other samples.

Last category, y’all. Makeups:

I absolutely love this Lorac Front of the Line Pro eyeliner pen. Like seriously hot and heavy true love. It is super black, easy to apply and lasts for a long time. The tip is very precise and I created my first winged liner look with this pen. I highly recommend which means you should probably just go ahead and put it in your basket. K, thanks.

I’m not throwing out this Beauty Without Cruelty Natural Mineral Eyeliner but I’m sure as hell not keeping it. I reviewed it in my recent Petit Vour box, and my review still stands: Do. Not. Like. Well, it’s not black black, it’s a blurry black and I’m not interested in that. When I wore it I felt like my eye makeup was half finished or something, which made my OCD kick in. Like I literally couldn’t concentrate on anything else. So in the name of medical necessity, I’m passing it along to my mom where I know it will be loved and cared for properly.

I went back and forth several times on whether to keep or toss the Benefit They’re Real Push-Up Liner. I liked it then hated it. Then liked it kind of but still pretty much hated it. Thing is, if you’re speedy and proper with applying your eyeliner, you’ll probably love this. If you take eons like me, this stuff with dry up and crumble off your eyeball before you’ve even thought about finishing. My OCD just won’t let me live and let live. I’m that person who can see a barely skewed photo frame on a wall with her eyes clothes. Like I can literally feel its crookedness. So when I see a not so perfect liner, I will fiddle and fiddle and fiddle with it until I’m satisfied. In other words, I can’t own this liner. It doesn’t play nice with my neurosis.

Last empty is this L’oreal Colour Riche Extraordinaire lipgloss in Coral Encore. It’s not a bad product necessarily. The color was pretty and it went well with my skin tone. But it was mildly sticky and I just couldn’t deal. I’d find goopy pieces of it collected on the inner rim of my mouth and it looked so awful. Now keep in mind I have a horrible flaky lip skin condition, so I’m sure that had something to do with it. But life’s too short to mess with goopy lipgloss. On to the next. And there’s always a next.

Well that’s it lovies. Thanks for staying up past your bedtime to read this long post. It only took me 3 days to write so it was the least you could do. Til next time!