Got a little coupon in the mail the other day for a FREE Clinique lipstick.  Not even sure how I got on that mailing list, as it is with most mailing lists I somehow miraculously belong to.  One day, I spent an entire afternoon unsubscribing to sites like Babies R Us, a restaurant I ate at while moving my sister home from college (in fairness, I did give them my email), and one of those cheap little doodad stores that sells stuff like indoor poop rugs for dogs.

However, there are some mailing lists – like the Clinique one – that I’m perfectly fine with.  This coupon was the best kind of coupon:  free product, no purchase necessary.  Awesome!  For once, I could go to a makeup counter to buy something and never have to get my wallet out of my purse.  It’s a black hole in there anyway.  Trying to find something in my purse, regardless that it’s just one single solitary large pocket is an ever-loving nightmare.  The thing I need is always buried at the bottom underneath countless things I never need, ie, tissue pack, dental floss, hand sanitizer that smells like the inside of a science experiment.

But I should have known better to think I’d actually get away with not spending money.  I mean, have I even met me?

Walked up to the counter, cool as all get out (you know how I do), and presented my coupon like I was VIP royalty or something.  The girl starts digging through the drawers, and of course she took a second too long cuz before you know it I get captivated by the new Cheek Pop blushes sitting on the counter to my right.

They shouldn’t put stuff up there right next to the credit card swipey thing.  Horrible marketing ploy.

But have you seen these cuties?

I just can’t. Walking away from this adorable thing is like turning your back on a hungry kitten. Who could do that other than evil people? Or robots?

So I bought it.  Of course I did.  Again,  hungry kitten.

But that’s not all.  (Never is.)  They have this product called Bottom Lash Mascara, made specifically for your teeny tiny baby lashes on the lower lid.  Why, pray tell, do I need this?  Tell me, why?  It’s just mascara isn’t it?  Don’t I have about 20 or so mascaras in the bottomless arsenal?  And wouldn’t just about every one of them work just fine on the bottom lashes?

If you can’t come up with one single solitary reason why NOT to buy this mascara, then you may continue to read my blog.  Seriously, why do we buy anything if not for the sheer pleasure of owning all the things.  If you search through your makeup stash and find only one mascara, then you need to take your show on the road because that kind of willpower is downright inspirational.

(And for the record, I used it.  And I liked it.  And it actually did a pretty darn good job.)

Here’s the big reveal of all my lovely things:

Your eyes aren’t fooling you, I literally walked away with one of their tiny shopping bags when normally they need to go in the back room to find some other bag more suitable.  So regardless if I needed that mascara or not, I bought TWO things and got one free.  Not too shabby, I’d say.

Here’s lipstick swatchies:

Aside from my lackluster selfie skills, it’s a pretty decent color for a free lipstick.  I honestly expected it to be a really crappy one, like one you’d find in the bottom of your grandma’s purse, or even just a color I would never ever wear. Kudos to Clinique for not giving away for free what no one would ever buy intentionally.  And for those curious, this is their Long Last lipstick in the color All Heart.  They categorize it in the red family, but as you can quite clearly see it’s more on the pink side.  For my lips anyway.  (That’s my disclaimer in case someone tries to sue me for making them buy this “pink” lipstick.)

That’s all for now lovelies.  But more is forthcoming as always.  I have two beauty boxes sitting on my front porch as we speak.  Yessss.