Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018



Who else is spending Christmas Eve wondering why the cat’s been sitting in the dark staring at the toilet for the past two hours for no dadgum good reason? I mean, he literally hasn’t moved from one spot, not even by enticing him with smother-y hugs or full-on mouth kisses or NOTHING. At this point, I’m about 97.93749% certain the toilet is haunted, and in which case, GREEEEAT. I’m already terrified a snake is going to crawl out of it on a daily basis, so why not add one more baseless anxiety to the ever-growing mix? Seriously, WHO WANTS MY LIFE? Every single last one of you, pretttty sure. 


Top Shelf Lacquer: Get in the Spirit! Collection 



Welcome to yet another blog written with one eye sleeping.  One of these days, I’ll figure out a way to be normal; however, UNFORTUNATELY, today is not our day.  Work has kept me busy for the last week or so (unfairly, as you might imagine, what with all the goofing off and feet up on the desk, lounging, to do), so all lunchtime blogging and/or napping plans have gone out the freaking window.  In fact, it’s been dayyyys since I’ve taken a proper lunch break, and you’d ASSUME that makes you skinny, but AGAIN … today is not our day.


Top Shelf Lacquer: Drunken Creme Fall Holos


Now that the Polish Pickup blogging frenzy is officially done, it’s time to get on our focus face. Remember those 7,397 blogs left to write?  Not a dadgum dent. I figure at this point if there’s even a skosh of a chance in getting caught up, someone’s gonna have to come take the pajamas and the couches and the Full House away.

Except don’t, or I will cut you. 

So before stabby things happen, let’s do Plan B: pulling double blog duty plus superhuman efforting plus Cheetos far from grabby distance.  I mean, it’s not the most ideal, but it’s hard to write a blog while in the midst of a potato chip euphoria-type situation.

Okay, nail polish. LET’S GO. 


Amy from Top Shelf Lacquer sent me one of the most MUST HAVE fall collections of all time.  This is the Drunken Creme Fall Holos, and OMG, you guys! Wallets are flying out of purses, everywhere. 

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: the best thing about fall is the colors. The palette on this collection is all your dreams come true.  Some warm and cozy beauties in here! A brown, an orange, a yellow, a GREEEEEEN!  Did someone just hand me a basketful of kitties? Might as well have.

For my swatches, I did two coats plus glossy top coat. The formula is silky smooth magical perfection. Seriously, a one way ticket to the Drool Convention, at minimum. And most likely not accidentally on all the surfaces. Mine AND yours.

Here’s a quick rundown of all the colors.  No need for screenshots; you’re buying all twelve!


DESCRIPTION:  A perfect fall pumpkin orange holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A cool medium grey holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A mustard yellow holographic creme (squeeee!)


DESCRIPTION:  A fun amaranth red holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A medium teal holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A dusky plum holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A lush olive green holographic creme (more squeeee!)


DESCRIPTION:  A warm rich milk chocolate brown holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A vampy burgundy holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A light teal holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A rich Prussian blue holographic creme


DESCRIPTION:  A dusky mauve holographic creme


Yep. All twelve, and in the cart they go! Weeee!

This collection is available now and comes in both full size and 8ml minis. Here’s the deets:

Full set of 12 retails for $120/full or $92/mini; individual bottles are $12/full or $8.50/mini. 

Where to buy:

When to buy: 2.5 seconds ago. Get on it, boo boos!

And now, some click-y things!  Connect with Top Shelf Lacquer:



Fan Group

Okay, gang! That’s all for now.  Back in a few hours with your bonus blog. Maybe. I mean, clearly I’m not very good at blogging. 

Later, loves!


Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup September 2017


Blog train still rolling!  Hope you’re ready to spend some money today, cuz there’s no way you’re getting out of here without hoarding all the polish. Seriously, I MEAN IT.  Time to get off your no-buys, ladies! Cuz a legit no joke justification scenario is in effect.  And I’m just in here chatting like we have all the time in the world. 

WE DON’T. The Polish Pickup sale is underway y’all and there’s just two days left to get your life in order.  I have one of the prettiest polishes of your life to show you today, and you’re gonna need approximately 18,000 bottles. Grab your drool buckets!  Here’s Kindred Spirits from Top Shelf Lacquer:


OMG, have you ever?  (No you have not.)  I just love Amy’s polishes so much. Everything she makes is a masterpiece. If you’ve never owned a bottle, you’ve got a serious amount of catching up to do. But totally worth it if you’ve got a billion dollars handy.

Once again, the September Polish Pickup theme is Fall Foliage and Fun. Look at this cute inspiration photo:

Well, I could end the blog right here and y’all’d know you want this polish. Cuz two little birdies in a tree being adorable? We’ve all got the Grabby Fingers, pretty sure.

But because I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, here’s swatches of Amy’s beautiful polish anyway:


DESCRIPTION:  A steel blue holographic with golden shift, bronze fleck and subtle lavender flame

OPACITY:  Two dreamy coats

You guys. I am in love with everything. The holo, the shift, the FLECK!, the FLAME!  Those are drooling words right there, and trust me, I’m already an unattractive mess. Application is smooth, color is glorious, sparkle is fantastical perfection. YOU WILL LOVE in a smother-y stalker-y kinda way, I just know it. 

More drool-y opportunities:

Who’s looking sexy right now?  NOT THIS LADY! Cuz one does not look good whilst the tongue is lolling about outside the body.

Okay, now FOCUS.  Here’s all you need to know:

As mentioned before, the Polish Pickup store is officially open and will stay open until Monday September 4 at 11:59pm EST.  DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 SLEEP 👏🏼 ON 👏🏼 THIS. Cuz who wants to wake up on Tuesday, sad and polish-less? Damn near no one, that’s who.  

To shop:

Cost: All the makers set their own pricing; Top Shelf will run you $12. But happiness is priceless, and that’s all that matters. Shipping is a flat $3 fee no matter if you buy one or a billion.

Plus, if you’ve already purchased from the sale, you can go back in and buy more goodies and PPU will combine your shipping. So feel free to place like 42 orders. You’ll be taken care of like royalty. 

To be continued; only one more to go! Later, loves!


Cupcake Polish + Top Shelf Lacquer + Crystal’s Charity Lacquers: Quad for the SPCA


After an evening full of couch lounging and spending an extraordinary amount of time watching my cat have a fight with a string tie from one of my shirts, suddenly it is after midnight and YET AGAIN now is the time to write a blog.  Seriously guys, I might never go to bed again.  Cuz FOR SOME REASON, the blog don’t write itself and there’s roughly 7,397 left to do.  Still.  I’m not very good at goals, let’s just say.

And naturally there’s a POLISH EMERGENCY! in our midst. So we’re gonna zip through the blog real quick before I tell you things after the things are no longer the things.  Clearly, I make perfect sense when my brain is half asleep.  But aside from all that, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers is back again and it’s time to hoard some polish! BOOM.

Each month or so, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers chooses a charity and teams up with indie brands to create exclusive polishes to sell and help raise funds for the cause. This round, she has chosen Sara from Cupcake Polish and Amy from Top Shelf Lacquer to release some pretties to benefit the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, otherwise known as the SPCA.

So get off your no-buys, ladies! A TOTAL LEGIT JUSTIFICATION-type scenario just fell into your lap like no big deal. Lesssss go!


A charity for animals is one of the easiest causes to donate to.  Cuz we all love animals, cats and dogs and little baby pandas trapped in tiny bubble cocoons.  And it doesn’t matter how much hard work they are (in a poop scooping way, mostly) or the fact a piece of cat hair literally just flew into my wet manicure, I still want to kiss my fur baby straight in the mouth even though he probably licked his own butt approximately 2.5 seconds ago.  Not sure that’s an admirable quality or what this says about me as a person, but that is beside the point.  

As previously mentioned, there are two indie brands helping out this round, and I was lucky enough to bring you swatches of both this time.  The whole shebang, y’all!  If you’re thinking overachieve-y best blogger ever, well, you’d be about 97.48676% correct.

Here’s a brief rundown of all the goodies, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.  And then prepare to spend some money, cuz there’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without 27,000 bottles in the cart.  Rational behavior?  NOT TODAY!


Spoiler alert:  FLAKIES!  Wallets are officially flying out of purses, everywhere.


DESCRIPTION:  An emerald green holographic with pink/copper/green/gold color shifting metallic flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Also, did I mention this is green?  Gah!  The effort to stay upright at the moment is a dire situation indeed.


DESCRIPTION:  A mulberry purple holographic with copper/red/gold color shifting metallic flakies 

OPACITY:  Again with the two coats

I’m loving how the flakies look like little glowy sparks of fire.  It’s comfy and cozy and happiness times a billion.  Did someone just walk in here and hand me a basket full of kitties?  Might as well have.

So if all that wasn’t enough to get you tossing polish in the cart all willy nilly, we’ll just go ahead and make your best day ever even best-i-er.  Cuz look what else you’re buying:


Dammmmmit.  I was trying to be a lady all day long, and now everything is ruined.  Cuz it’s hard to look classy while running for your drool bucket.


DESCRIPTION:  A deep red polish filled with glowing glass fleck and a subtle pink to orange shift

OPACITY:  Two smooth and yummy coats

This polish is ridiculously pretty.  More proof below:


DESCRIPTION:  A medium grey with blue shimmer and red/orange/pink/yellow color shifting flakies 

OPACITY:  Two amazing coats

Y’all know I have issues with Fall, simply because of its unfortunate proximity to the hell that is Winter.  But it’s polishes like this, ones that look like wet leaves on pavement or smoldering ashes in a bonfire, that makes me think that Fall is the best season there is.  Just for half a second, though, but still.

And now, we SWOON.  You guys.  Get on this like stat.


Pre-sale for these charity polishes has already started, cuz I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, in case you are curious.  Regardless, there is time still left, so if bonus points are coming, well that sounds about right.  Last day to purchase is August 27 so make sure you go NOW, or at the very least, 5 seconds from now.

Cost for the Cupcake Polish colors is $13 and Top Shelf Lacquer’s is $12.  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the SPCA, which makes this hoarding problem well and truly worth it.  Polishes are available now in each respective maker’s site, so here are the linkies all typed and ready to go:

Cupcake Polish 

Top Shelf Lacquer

Then while you’re in a clicking mood, go ahead and join the Crystal’s Charity Lacquers Facebook group so you can get inside scoop on future donations, brand collaborations, and polish sneak peeks. DO IT. I mean it. Click here.

And now we’re done!  I’m headed to bed and you’re headed for your checkbook.  Cuz that’s how this thing works. Weeeee!

Later, loves!


Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup August 2017


Remember that time when I was the monthly designated blogger for the Polish Pickup and I blogged so much, my hands literally just fell off my body in a carpal tunnel-y rebellion-type EXTRAVAGANZA!?  For a girl who lounges on couches for a living, that was an insane display of effort, and I’m quite certain at this point I can stop with the pants and the productivity and the moving of the legs and whatnot.  Cuz once you hit Doing Things, LEVEL EXPERT, it’s 37 years of pajamas and Starbucks and hubby bringing back snacks from the kitchen.  Who’s writing this blog then?  Seriously, I don’t even know.

And now somehow 30 days or so have passed us by, and the August Polish Pickup is officially lurking. What?!  Did July last like 4 seconds, or what?  I swear, time needs to STOP IT with the overachieve-y or else winter will be here soon, and I’m not interested in that one bit.  Cue the hives, I can already tell.  Blah.

But no more chatty.  I have a huge slew of pretties to get through this week, and if I want to attempt to be a proper blogger, then now is not the time to take 18 years.  Cuz FOR SOME REASON, the Polish Pickup only lasts 4 days and if we all wanna have an anxiety attack to the trillionth degree, well that sounds about right.  Here’s the contribution from Top Shelf Lacquer:


The theme for the month of August is Old Hollywood, which is only unfortunate due to it’s surprising lack of Leonardo.  I know he’s not really Old Hollywood per se, but I think if you played Jack Dawson in Titanic, Howard Hughes, one of the Three Musketeers and a man who pretended to be a pilot to get free rides on airplanes, well quite simply … you get a waiver.  

This is why I’m not in charge of things.  Cuz clearly, I need supervised.

Amy chose Shirley Temple as her inspiration:

And then this beautiful thing happened: 

My photos don’t even do it justice, but did y’all see flakies?  Squeeeeee!  We’re officially about 2.5 seconds away from noodle legs, so let’s move on before unattractive things happen.

DESCRIPTION:  A silver linear holographic polish with a strong purple shift and loaded with color shifting flakies that change from purple to blue to teal to green

Under the lamps, HOLO say heyyyyyy:

Then I added a matte top coat for funsies:

Another angle, which I swore looked completely different from the first picture, but in reality it’s most definitely different by at least 17 millimeters. You know, VASTLY DIFFERENT is what I mean.

And here’s where our brains completely stop working:

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.  Well, you didn’t come here for the ladylike composure anyway. Tongues are lolling, everywhere!

So about this Polish Pickup thing, I’ll give you a brief rundown of talking points:  

WHAT: 42 indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHEN: Friday, August 4 at 11am EST thru all day Monday, August 7


If you’d rather read the more eloquent version, click here for the FAQs from the PPU website.

The prices will vary from brand to brand, but Top Shelf’s Shirley Temple will retail for $12. Although a billion dollars would be fine too. FLAKIES, guys. Flakies.

To join in the fun of future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks, click here for the Facebook fan group. DO IT. I’m serious.

To be continued, loves!  Only 7,347 polishes to go!


Top Shelf Lacquer: Alcohol Musings Collection 


The onslaught of boring blogs is coming, guys. I have wasted so much time in the past few days, I am officially behind schedule to the trillionth degree.  It seems all the lounging on couches and accidental naps before bedtime have not proven to be as productive as one would expect. Cuz apparently things don’t just happen all by themselves.  Boooooo.  Science wins again. 

Lately it’s been Lazy, Level EXPERT plus a bunch of bonus rounds on top.  So much robe has been happening, if hubby’s reconsidering that for better, for worse thing he swore he’d do, no one’s surprised.  He tried to lure me outside to go make an effort of some sort, and I’m like, is Leonardo out there handing me a Starbucks, then?  Cuz that’s the only outside type of escapade I’m willing to commit to.  Until then, it’s me + couch + air conditioning = not getting skinny any time soon.  Besides, last time I attempted effort, I got carpet burn in my butt crack, and not even for a very good reason.  Pilates is the devil, let’s just say.

But now the situation has reached a dire state.  The blogs have piled up, and if I don’t figure out a way to write them with a skosh less Tolstoy, we’re all gonna be sitting in here for the next 18 years.  I don’t know what y’all got planned later, but I’m pretty sure living a much more interesting life than me is probably at the top of the list.  Cuz not everyone has time to polish nails for nigh on eternity.  Although why don’t you?! is the actual question. 

So let’s get into it, then!  I have the new Alcohol Musings collection from Top Shelf Lacquer to show you today, a set of six gorgeous creme shimmers with a twist.  And good news:  you’re buying all of them.  Weeeee!  Take a look:


Told ya.  Wallets are flying out of purses everywhere.  A prelude to the Noodle Leg Epidemic happening next.

Okay, FOCUS.  Serious business up ahead.  Enjoy the pictures sans commentary; I’ll just be over here having an attack of the hives.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, if you’re curious.  Here’s the rundown of colors:

Tequila Made Me Do It:

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise creme with turquoise shimmer with a delicate pink shift and touch of scattered holo

It’s Not Good to Keep Things Bottled Up:

DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink creme with a pink to blue shifting shimmer and touch of scattered holo

I am GIN-vincible:

DESCRIPTION:  A medium blue creme with a turquoise to purple shifting shimmer

You Can’t Sip With Us!:

DESCRIPTION:  A bright orange creme with greenish gold shimmer with subtle flash of pink in just the right lighting

Irish I Had a Beer!:

DESCRIPTION:  A mint green with a soft shift to pink and peach with a touch of scattered holo

An extra macro so you can really see that shift:

Life is BREWtiful!:

DESCRIPTION:  A lilac creme with red shimmer that has a subtle shift to copper and a touch of scattered holo

Clearly, words were not necessary.  All stunning, all glorious, all super pass-out-y.  If you haven’t drooled in at least a thousand buckets by this point, I am var var sad about your brain.

And then I did A THING:

A watermarble thing!  And it turned out perfectly.  Did you just scroll up to see whose blog you were reading?  ME TOO!  I swear, I can only tell I am me by the sheer amount of robe that is happening at the moment.

That shimmer:

You done died.  You did.

The round up:

The formula on these was luxuriously silky and exquisite.  It was a legit Polish Mountain moment, except I had 7,397 other nail polishes staring back at me.  Ugh, responsibilities.

I did three coats on all except Irish I Had a Beer, which got two.  They were an absolute pleasure to apply, which is a full on NERD ALERT! at minimum, but also, I’M SERIOUS.  I could’ve sat there for days, and probably would have if hubby didn’t set a bag of Doritos in the other room.

Okay guys, the deets:

Set of six polishes:  $60 for full size or $45 for 8ml polish shots

Single bottles:  $11 for full size or $8 for 8ml polish shots

Everything is available now, so click here for shopping!  It’s the most logical next step.

And now, the linky loos.  Connect with Top Shelf Lacquer:



Fan Group

Thanks for stopping by, everyone!  I know it wasn’t my normal chatty style, but I hope you liked it anyway.  I mean, there was pretty polish in here, and that’s the whole point of this blog anyway.  The fact we talk about how often I am pants-less is just a bonus.  However, as soon as I get caught up, I’ll be back to normal and most likely annoying the shit out of everyone.  YOU CAN’T WAIT!

Later, loves!


Nail Hoot + Top Shelf Lacquer Collaboration Duo


When your husband asks you what your plans are for his birthday and you answer “painting my nails,” just be aware the reaction you get isn’t quite as exciting as you’d expect.

So now I’m forced to do stuff outside the house this weekend, which requires slightly less pajamas than originally planned. Ugh. I suppose if there’s any one thing worth putting pants on for 72 hours, it’d be him.  He’s a good guy. He pulls 18,000 nail polish packages out of the mailbox and only gives a skosh of a side eye.

Until then, though, it’s business as usual. Swatching and blogging and Full House marathons. Eating Funyuns, locked alone in a room, and wondering why skinny is taking so damn long. You know, if I wasn’t such a Trophy Wife, we’d all be worried. 

Here’s something pretty:


This duo is a collaboration between Brandie with Nail Hoot and Amy with Top Shelf Lacquer, which started out as a joke.  Brandie had a naming contest in her Facebook group, and Amy suggested the name “Hoot This Way.”  For every contest after that, Amy continued to submit “Hoot This Way” as her entry.  Finally, Brandie agreed to the name as long as she could name one of Amy’s polishes, and VOILA! a duo is born.  And good news, guys:  you’re buying it.  Weeeeee!

First half of the duo is from Nail Hoot. Here is – FINALLY, in all its glory – Hoot This Way:

Worth the wait.  Yes?  YES.

DESCRIPTION: A rose gold holographic with strong gold flash

COATS:  Two, but good coverage in one

If you’re a fan of neutrals, you’re gonna love this one.  It’s the perfect polish for elegant, hand model-y, tiny cappucino cup holding scenarios.  As we all do from time to time.

I did some nail art:

I might’ve accidentally got my birds confused on this one, cuz the longer I look at my ring finger, the more I am convinced that’s not a flamingo.  Either that, or there’s some serious leg envy happening with the other flamingos.  Ring Finger Flamingo is my baby sister who is lovely and lithe; Other Finger Flamingo is me who has a problem with potato chips.  Ugh.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 02 plate in case you’re curious.  

The last half of the duo is from Top Shelf Lacquer. Here is Drunk & Disorderly:

Ooooh!  There’s an accidental painting of all the surfaces lurking, I just know it.

DESCRIPTION: A medium blue crelly with scattered holo, a subtle purple shift and color-shifting chameleon flakies

COATS:  Two, nice and smooth

But back to those flakies.  Are they not divine?!  Seriously, if you came here for the ladylike composure, well now is not the time for a flakie display.  Cuz the amount of drool buckets happening over here is quite alarming to say the least.  OMG, am I still married?  I don’t even know.

Some mediocre mojo:

Do not ask why I did sharks.  Sometimes when I nail art, my brain just goes away somewhere.  I mean, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever done, but an award is definitely not coming this time.  Although I’ll take a Starbucks anyway, you know, if y’all not busy.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 02 plate again in case recreations are in order.  (They’re not.)  NEXT.

The round up:

This precious little duo releases this Friday, July 14 so make sure you set approximately 17 alarms cuz rational behavior is for other people.  There are 25 sets ready to go for immediate shipping, and POLISH EMERGENCY doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. However, in case your priorities aren’t properly categorized, alphabetized and assorted by size and color then pre-orders will be taken until August 15.  Targeted ship date on those is August 30, otherwise known as FREAKING LIGHT YEARS AWAY.

In other words, you better snag those first 25.  DO IT.  I mean it.

Price for the duo is $18 and they will ship internationally, so it’s an equal opportunity good day for everyone!  Click here for shopping,

Some linky loos:

Nail Hoot – InstagramFacebookFacebook Fan Group

Top Shelf Lacquer – InstagramFacebookFacebook Fan Group

And while you’re in a clicking mood, follow me on Instagram.  Cuz at this point, it’s just the right thing to do.

Later, loves!


Top Shelf Lacquer: A Multichrome EXTRAVAGANZA!


Well guess who’s behind again?  Ugh.  Things were going so smoothly, too.  I mean, the effort on display was Blogger, Level EXPERT to say the least.  Then I sat down on the couch and my brain done went away somewhere.  Someone turned Full House on, and SUDDENLY! responsibilities are for other people.

I don’t even know what it is about that dang show.  It’s on in the background while I am swatching and blogging – it’s become my routine at this point – but then Uncle Jesse breaks both arms and tries to feed himself cereal with a ginormous wooden spoon and officially I. AM. DONE.  Whatever else I had to do that day:  deleted AND cancelled.

Seriously, if you feel like wasting an extraordinary amount of time, I have pointers.  If I can put this much enthusiasm into other, more interesting things, I might be President of the Universe by now.  Pajamas for everyone!

But now we’re back on track, so everyone get your focus face on.  I received a huge haul of polish from my girl Amy with Top Shelf Lacquer, and if you’re into multichromes, holo or pretty things in general, you’re about to have your best day ever.  Get ready to spend some money, yo.  Justification starts now.


Amy sent over three of her gorgeous multichrome quads, and opening the box was like a choir of angels singing.  If Leonardo popped out next, we’d all be like YUP, sounds about right.  Cuz this is some good stuff, man.  Amy’s multichromes are a one way ticket to the Drool Convention, at the minimum.

Let’s start with the Fun Bar Quotes – Holo’d quad.  I’ll give you the rundown of the colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom (or else we’ll be in this blog for the next 18 years).  First up is Bad Decisions Make Good Stories – Holo’d:

This one is a red jelly base with a yellow to pink, orange, red, copper and green shift with a linear holographic finish.  I’m trying hard not to chat, but it’s already sweaty in here.  Gah!

Macro time!

You want this, oh yes you do.

Next up is Take Me Drunk, I’m Home – Holo’d:

This one is a super sparkly almost glittery shifter that goes from aqua blue to purple to red with flashes of copper and green in a purple jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  Two coats of dreamboat!  Photographing all the shifts in a multichrome is hard, but hopefully I’ve done them justice.  An attempt was made, so that deserves at least half of toot on the ole horn, pretty sure.

Also, macro skills aren’t too shabby.  Is an award coming, or … ?

Now we have Drinks Well With Others – Holo’d:

This one is also a super sparkly almost glittery shifter that has the most dramatic shift from green to blue and purple with flashes of red and copper in a slightly tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  This one is soooooo much more stunning in person; it is LEGIT a shifty queen.  Might be my favorite.  Might end up on all the surfaces.  Mine AND yours.

Macro, a prelude to the 27 bottles you’re buying:

If we make it to the end of this blog it’ll be a damn near miracle.  Cuz not much gets done when you’re busy dying every 15 seconds.

Lastly, here’s Why Limit Happy to an Hour? – Holo’d:

Another super sparkly almost glittery shifter that goes from red to blue to purple with flashes of copper and green in a purple jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  At first, this one looks somewhat similar to Take Me Drunk, I’m Home but then you realize it’s a different toned purple.  I’d show you a comparison, but I don’t plan things very well.  I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, clearly.

Macro, to aid the convincing:

You’re buying these, but then again, you already know.  

Next collection to show off is the Cocktail Fun quad.  Check out these straight multichrome masterpieces:

Remember back in April when I swatched the Multichrome Madness group customs, and they were four of the most spectacular things you’ve ever seen?  Well, these are those same customs but without the cute square glitters.  And I tell you what:  I stinkin’ LOOOOOOOVE them.  Plain multichromes?  Heart eyes times a billion.

First up is Schnapp To It:

This one shifts between green, blue and purple with an occasional flash of red in a tinted jelly base, and basically I’ve just lost all control of my body.  Bad case of the noodle legs plus the brain’s stop holding my mouth closed.  OMG, am I still married?  I don’t even know.

Grab the smelling salts!  Now scroll.

Mercy.  Words have officially left me.  It’s moan-y throat noises from here on out.

Next up is Now Watch Me Sip … My Chardon Nay Nay:

This one shifts between pink, orange, gold, and green in a tinted jelly base.  Isn’t this just the most beautiful burst of color?  Amy is a magician, I’m almost certain.

An insane display of pretty:

Seriously though.  The noodle legs.

Now here’s Tequila Mockingbird:

This beauty shifts from blue to purple to reddish in a tinted jelly base.  All you blue lovers, this one is calling for you.  Most likely in a French accent and handing you a Starbucks.  

Brace yourself:

Are you still upright?  Nope.  Me neither.

Lastly, here’s Help Me Straighten Mai Tai:

This one shifts from purple to red to bronze in a tinted jelly base.  Such a rich and glorious jewel tone!  The shift in this one is slightly more subtle than the rest, but then again I sprained my foot by stretching too hard on the couch, so I tend to do things in a VERY WRONG kind of way.

Macro, to seal the deal:

The last collection I have is the Cocktail Fun quad again, but this time with holo:

GUYS.  More polish you’re buying!  Cuz turning your back on all this magic is not an option.

First up is Schnapp To It – Holo’d:

This one shifts between green, blue and purple with an occasional flash of red in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  If you’re sticking your fingers in stranger’s faces soon, no one’s surprised.  Cuz why act normal at a time like this?

Close up of those goodies:

Holo holo everywhere, and in the cart she goes!

Next we have Now Watch Me Sip … My Chardon Nay Nay – Holo’d:

This one shifts between pink, orange, gold, and green in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  So freaking yummy!  I won’t lie: I kinda wanna eat this one.  But I won’t, cuz SOCIETY.  The judgy eyes are everywhere.  

Lolling tongues ahead!

Dang.  What is the point in life if you can’t lick some polish every once in a while?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

Next up is Tequila Mockingbird – Holo’d:

This beauty shifts from blue to purple to reddish in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  For me, the holo hid the shift a little bit so I think I prefer the straight multichrome version of this one.  HOWEVER, I continue eating whole bags of Funyuns (in a room by myself), so my opinion might be moot.  You decide for yourself, lovies.  I’m just gonna go sit back down now.

Still dreamy no matter what.

Lastly here’s Help Me Straighten Mai Tai – Holo’d:

This one shifts from purple to red to bronze in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish, and if you’re thinking I must be an unattractive mess by now, YOU ARE CORRECT.  There’s only so much sexy to go around while holding a drool bucket.  Hubby just needs to look away for a minute so we can stay married longer.  I mean, the traditional 5th anniversary gift is WOOD, so pretty sure he’s about to build me a boat with his bare hands straight from a Nicholas Sparks novel – and hell if I’m missing out on that.  Although a popsicle stick rendering of the Titanic with a little toothpick Leonardo on top would be just fine too.

OMG, what?  Shut up, Brain.

The round up:

Each of these collections come in either 15ml full size or 8ml polish shots. Full quads retail for $44 (15ml) or $32 (8ml) and single bottles are $12 (15ml) or $8.50 (8ml).  Although which one of you is just buying one single bottle?  Damn near no one, that’s who.

And the best news?  It’s all available now.  Click here for shopping, then stalk your mailman like a proper loon.  What other choice do you have at this point?

Also, I’m serious about toothpick Leonardo.  I told hubby, and he laughed.  BUT HE IS WRONG.  So very very wrong.

Later, loves!



Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup June 2017


Oh good gracious, I’m behind again.  You know how hard it is to get back into the swing of things after a vacation?  Like, I spent an entire week lounging in pajamas (well, except for that disastrous hiking escapade forced upon me against my will .. ugh); having to get back to my normal state of pajama lounging but with a side of swatching and blogging is proving to be nigh on impossible.

In other words, brace yourselves for 18 years worth of blog posts today, cuz there’s a huge mess over here, and WE. ARE. IN IT.  Lessss go!

It’s time for the Polish Pickup again, and I have several offerings to show you today.  Who’s ready to hoard some pretties?  (Answer:  YOU.  Every dadgum time.)  Here’s something beautiful from Top Shelf Lacquer:


The theme for the month of June is Under the Sea, and Amy made us something glorious! A non-traditional take on the theme, but fits perfectly within the Top Shelf Lacquer brand. She’s named it Caribbean Storm Cocktail, which is quite honestly the only outdoor water-related activity I’ll accept anyway.  Cuz last time I tried to be a sport, I cried in front of strangers since snorkeling IS JUST NOT NATURAL. No, it’s simply good logic to set me up under a cabana and have me look as cute and sweat-free as possible.

Take a look at the inspiration:

Now get a load of this:

Whyyyyyyy, practically twins!  Amy, you’re magic.  Is Leonardo happening next? You know, while you’re making dreams come true and all …

So this one is a denim blue shimmer with pink glass fleck and pink to gold to green color shifting flakies. It’s a mouth gaping, tongue lolling, drool EXTRAVAGANZA!  Get it on yer nails, stat. 

Under lamps:

Macros, in case staying upright is too much effort to bear. Cuz noodle legs, everywhere. 

Yep, you’re about to spend some money, I just know it. Bye bye checkbook!  Although a perfectly justified reason cuz polish emergency = trillionth degree.

I know we’ve discussed the premise of the Polish Pickup before, but in case you need a refresher, click here for the FAQs.  The Cliff Notes, though? Well, here then:

WHAT:  27 indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you!  Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHEN:  Friday, June 2 at 11am EST thru all day Monday, June 5


The prices will vary from brand to brand, but Top Shelf’s Caribbean Storm Cocktail will retail for $12. Although a billion dollars would be fine too. FLAKIES, guys. Flakies.

To join in the fun of future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks, click here for the Facebook fan group. DO IT. I’m serious.

More polishes coming up. Stay tuned, loves!