Little Nail Girl: Celebrate! 3 Year Anniversary Polish

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Hubby should really stop working on Saturdays cuz I’ve sat here for the past six hours and no one has brought me any food.  It doesn’t just magically appear in my hands like you’d expect.  So it was either starve to death or put pants on, and well, you know how decisioning goes around here.  Easy way out?  Yes, please.

Things I’ve done today except for eat:

1. Swatched a thousand bottles of nail polish.  I’ve gotten pretty busy suddenly within a matter of a week, so I’ve got nail polish strung all across my table.  Trying to stay organized so I bought an $80 planner to write things down in but my OCD has gotten the best of me and now I supplement my planner with a back-up Excel spreadsheet with charts, graphs, and a science experiment.  Someone needs to come save me from me.

2. Scooped cat poop without being asked 18 times per day.  OMG, guys!  Starvation affects the brain.

3. Stared at the dadgum door. Where is Leonardo DiCaprio when you need him?  (Seriously, WHERE IS HE?)

So I don’t know if food is ever coming, but the nail polish never stops.  I have a real beauty to share with you today.  Little Nail Girl turned three years old this past week, so Heather created this super blingy polish to help celebrate the occasion.  In case you need an excuse to drink a wine cooler on a Saturday afternoon, take a look at this:

You’re about 2.5 seconds away from party nails, I just know it.

Celebrate! is a clear based polish loaded with sparkling silver holo glitter and some random silver stars.  You can use this polish as a topper in one coat, or you can do what I did and brush it on naked nails in 2-3 coats and get a more opaque look.  And then you can go out and do some stuff, or stay home and take naps if you’re me.

Here’s three coats:

There is a bit of manual glitter placement but for the most part, the glitter payoff is nice.

And then I went outside.  GUYS, I put pants on.  Do you see what I go through for you?  DO YOU SEE?  Best blogger ever is what you’re thinking.

Time for drool!

Ugh.  Did you die?  Cuz I sure did.

Cost for Celebrate! is $9 and it’s available right now.  In the cart she goes!

Little Nail Girl polish is made 7-free so if you need a bit of justification to hoard all the polish, consider this your green light to toss in 27 more bottles.  And then use my code DSETT (all caps) and get 10% off your order.  Who’s having the best day ever, then?  (You, to be clear.)

Click here for shopping!

If you need inspiration, here’s some past Little Nail Girl posts.  All polishes listed are still available.  Hooray!

Holiday Vibes Duo

Flashes of Fall Collection

My first LNG post

Also, get the neons.  They’re good too.  And buy me a Starbucks, you know, if you’re not busy.

Happy weekend! Later, loves!

Little Nail Girl: Holiday Vibes Duo

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A Life Lesson in Two Acts:

The Scene – On a road trip.  Wife driving, hands cramping at a consistent 10 and 2.  Husband scrolling Facebook, napping, staring out the window thinking God knows what cuz he has allllll the freaking time in the world while enjoying passenger seat comfort / VIP status.

ACT I

HUSBAND:  I’m not saying it’s an emergency or anything, but I’m gonna have to use the restroom pretty soon.

WIFE:  (picks up half drank bottle of tea from the cup holder)  Really?? Already?  Your bladder is surprisingly tiny for such a large person.

H:  All I’m saying is I won’t be able to make it for 2 hours.

W:  (checks ETA on the GPS)  Oh, well, great cuz we’ll be there in an hour and 42 minutes.  Perfect!

H:  45 minutes then.  I won’t be able to make it past 45 minutes.

Ugh.  Fifteen minutes further down the road, wife stop at the first gas station that involves the least amount of getting off the highway.  Jesus, most assuredly, is smiling down on her.

ACT II

HUSBAND:  Per your strict and somewhat rude instructions, here is your bag of Funyuns and your mocha iced latte.  Thank you for stopping to let me pee.

WIFE:  (handing the Funyuns back to the husband)  Can you open these for me?  I can’t do it while driving.

While holding the bag of Funyuns, the husband proceeds to tell a useless story about the other flavor of Funyuns (New! It’s Steakhouse!) sitting right next to the regular flavor of Funyuns.  And also, CURRENTLY NOT OPENING THE BAG.

W:  Why are you not opening the bag?  Come on, come on! (She is clearly starving to death.)

The husband quickly opens the bag and then an irrational misunderstanding takes place.

W:  (shocked, frightened)  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

H:  (with hand hovering over the opening of the bag, one Funyun dangling cautiously between thumb and forefinger)  Eating a Funyun?

W:  NO, you are NOT eating a Funyun!  (voice starts to wobble in an edge-of-hysteria sort of way)  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

H:  (said matter-of-factly)  You had me open the bag.  It’s a tax, everyone knows that.

W:  I didn’t take a bite of your chocolate ding dong you ate just now.  I didn’t even ask for one.

H:  (again, matter-of-factly)  Well, you didn’t open the bag.

W:  Oh my God.  (frustrated)  You know there aren’t that many Funyuns in a bag of Funyuns.  If you wanted even ONE Funyun, you should’ve gotten your own bag.  We do not share Funyuns.  Never ever ever do we share Funyuns.

H:  (laughing uncontrollably)

W:  You’re laughing, but I’m serious.  Don’t you ever eat out of my bag of Funyuns.  I will cut your arm off.  I will literally karate chop your freaking arm off.  MY Funyuns!  MY FUNYUNS.  Not OUR Funyuns.  There is no such thing as OUR Funyuns.

Wife then continues to eat her Funyuns in perturbed silence, while husband retreats back into the shell of his former self.

About 20 minutes further down the road, husband pulls more ding dong out of the bag on the floor.

W:  What the hell?!  You had ding dong left?  You stole my Funyun AND you didn’t eat all your ding dong?

Moral of the story:  there is no tax on opening someone’s bag of snacks.  You open it and then walk away.  Marriage = saved.

Thank God for nail polish, I always say.  I have the Holiday Vibes duo from Little Nail Girl to show you.  Get excited; they’re pretty!

Gah!  That foil finish!  The flakies!  And that golden shift!  Welp, this is starting out well.

Let’s do It Girl first:

Goodness, I’m already speechless.  You gotta love a red with an extra special something.  The shot under the lamps (bottom left) is plain ridiculous.  It’s the best kind of metallic.  Ultra smooth, two coats.  Perfection.  I dare you to wear this polish and somehow manage to NOT stick your fingers in peoples’ faces.

This macro, though.  If you’re not already convinced, here, lemme help you:

You done died.  For real, you did.

Then I did some nail art.  I tried to make a Christmas tree.  

Meh.  It’s okay.  I kinda like it.  The more I see it, the more I approve.  Sometimes my designs take a few days to fully appreciate. While I was making this, all I could think was how I was about to stamp all the things and I tried so hard to reel it in.  So, on that fact alone, this design is genius.

The other half of the duo is Lucky Charm:

Ooooooh!  Not your traditional Christmas green, so what a fun surprise!  It’s got a bit of aqua in it, plus that gold shift just takes it over the top.  Same smooth formula as the red one, these two are truly made for each other.  If you are a green lover (like me, obsessively so), you’re gonna have to buy this duo.  Sorry, but you have no choice.

You can’t unsee this macro:

Despite the fact this is not my best cuticle work, seeing all that flakie goodness gives me heart eyes times a billion.  Flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier, too, probably.

Here’s nail art:

It’s poinsettia leaves in case I mucked them up beyond recognition.  Nail art is hard sometimes.  Reverse stamping is even harder.  In real life, these nails are like 10 inches thick.  Ooops.

The round up:

Okay, babes.  Get out your credit card and click here.  You’re buying this duo.  It’s only $15 and you know you’ve spent more than that on something stupid you don’t even need, like that poo spray you put in the toilet before you go potty.

And most important, don’t forget I have a discount code to save you money.  Whyyyyyy, now it’s practically free!  Use DSETT (all caps) at check out and get 10% off.  Now aren’t you glad you read all the way to the bottom?

Later, loves!

Little Nail Girl: Flashes of Fall Collection

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There is music stuck in my head that I literally can’t get out.  All day, every day, every song.  And it’s not like it’s music that makes any sense as if I’d just heard it on the radio or something.  No, it’s random in the worst possible way.  This evening as I was driving home from work, it started with the Sesame Street theme song, transitioned to Hanson’s MMMBop, then finally settled on She Works Hard For the Money as sung by I don’t even know who.

I could blame it on the acetone I inhaled the previous night for 12 hours straight (swatch party!), but I’ve been doing this for several years now.  Someone can say a word that will trigger a song verse which will stay with me until someone else says a word that triggers a new song.

What happened to the good old days when I would just read a book out loud and in a British accent, even the Southern fiction ones?  Cuz that’s not weird at all.

But we aren’t here to discuss my bizarre personality tics.  You want polish.  So I give.  Here is the new Flashes of Fall collection by Little Nail Girl.  Behold:

All your most happy moments are flooding back to you right now, aren’t they?  Ugh.  Fall colors.  The most comfy, cozy, smile-inducing colors ever invented.  I have no idea how I’ll ever finish this blog post now, what with my eyes closed in ectasy and all.

Except I am a DAMN PROFESSIONAL and that’s what we do.  Soldier on.

When Heather at Little Nail Girl offered to send me this collection for review, she asked for my suggestion for a collection name, as it was, at that moment, nameless.  I was both honored and petrified.  I can only be clever by accident.  When I try on purpose, I’m like that girl who smells her own fingers out of panic.  And then end up telling my male boss I like tube-shaped packages, when I was only referring to an actual tube mailer for a poster, but it came out of my mouth so very very wrong.

However, as soon as the polishes arrived and I fully took in the shimmery, multi-chromey, metallic-y goodness, Flashes of Fall immediately came to me.  And that was the end of that.

First up is the delicious Bronze Have More Fun:

Campfires, turning leaves, crisp air.  What’s not to love about this polish?  It has a surprising depth to it as well, and it’s basically my new favorite color.  It’s also a one-coater and amazingly smooth.  Of course, I did two coats out of habit, but for those who aren’t as annoying as me, you can get away with just one.

I was asked to do some nail art as well, and I knew I had to do something fall-related.  I had just received the new Lovely Leaves stamping plate from Uber Chic Beauty, and this polish practically begged for it.

It’s pretty cute if I do say so.  Do you hear tooting horns?  No worries; it’s just me congratulating myself on a job well done.

The little leaf charm came from Winstonia if you’re interested.  I don’t know if they always have them or if it’s just a seasonal thing, but it came with like 4 leaves and a pumpkin.  Figured I’d better get some use out of them while I can.

Next is a most glorious nude shimmer.  It’s called Skinny Dip, and look how lovely it is!

Had to take two shots of this one so you could see it under the lamps as well.  It’s really just the prettiest nude.  I normally don’t wear polishes this color because my skin is too pale and it doesn’t flatter me at all.  But this one is a warm-toned, golden nude which is PERFECT for gals like me.

That shimmer up close! Heart eyes times a BILLION.

Plus, this shade is the perfect base for some nail art.  I did this autumn tree with falling leaves design:

Again, I used the Lovely Leaves stamping plate from Uber Chic Beauty, which is the perfect plate for the season.  Get it!  But buy this polish first.

Last but not least is this fabulous multi-chrome shade called Ride or Die!:

It’s gray, then it’s purple, then it’s green.  Changes colors with every angle.  I love shifty queens like this.  They’re simply magical.  Pretty much a one-coater on this one too.  Ultra smooth and a joy to apply.  Seriously.  That’s not just me being a super dork.  Sometimes certain polishes will just pull you in.  This is one of them. I want to stick my fingers in everyone’s faces and make them look at my nails.  Except that’s frowned upon in most societies.  Personal space, and whatnot.

Now for something precious:

Look at that little owl baby!  I used another new Uber Chic Beauty stamping plate, Who Give a Hoot, and did a little reverse stamping action.  Happy to say it turned out pretty cute, although this was my second attempt.  First attempt I did my owl upside down.  That’s not annoying AT ALL.

The round up:

Okay, I’m serious when I tell you this – but you HAVE to buy this trio.  It’s non-negotiable at this point, right?  However, if these swatches weren’t enough to convince you AND the fact I named the collection myself weren’t either, then how about a discount code?  People love coupons.  For real, there’s a show about it and everything.  And I’m not even making fun of coupon-ers.  I understand obsessions.  In fact, I understand obsessions like I invented the dang thing.

But back to the point, use my code DSETT for 10% off your purchase of anything in the Little Nail Girl store.  And if you want this collection, it will be available to you on September 16.

Later, loves!

SwatchFest 2016 – Little Nail Girl

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So after painting my nails nonstop for about nine months, I figured maybe it was time I share my new-honed talents with the world.  I’m quite proud of how far I’ve come.  Remember the good ol’ days when someone had to literally force me to buy a bottle of nail polish?  You might as well have asked me would I rather stab hot toothpicks in my eyeball.  Fiiiiiiiiine.  I choose nail polish.  Pfffft.

But then something super weird happened.  I watched a YouTube video of someone taking a horribly polished hand and transforming it into something magical and model-y with just a tiny brush and some acetone.  That spoke to me, people.  My OCD was soothed like someone poured a warm Butterscotch Schnapps coffee with whipped cream all over it.  Like, who just wrapped me up in a toasty blanket and handed me a whole bunch of baby kitties?  For real, y’all.

Fast forward to today where I am the proud (and obsessive, but only slight) owner of roughly 600 bottles of nail polish.  Paid for and lovingly stored as if they were my own children.  I have grown my Instagram by thousands and made tons of new nailie friends.  I’ve learned how to polish properly, the joys of nail vinyls and how fast watermarbling can turn a good day into a bad one (verrrrry fast, if you’re curious).

Now that we’ve covered that, you know where I am in life.  Sitting at the nail table (i.e., former kitchen table) most likely.  Surrounded by everything that makes me happy.  Doing swatches of nail polish and posting on Instagram like someone is paying me for it.  They’re not, although I’m completely open to that as a career if anyone is interested.  Also, I take gift cards.

But let’s get down to business, shall we?  I received a couple of polishes from this cute online boutique called Little Nail Girl.  Currently they have about 32 polishes in their line in a variety of finishes.  Here’s what I received:

If your first reaction was a speechless jaw-drop, we can be best friends and soul mates for life.  They’re glorious!  I couldn’t wait to get them on my nails.  About 2.5 seconds later, this happened:


This first one is called Kimmie.  It’s a classic red cream, ultra smooth and super shiny.  I couldn’t believe how fabulous this went on and how pretty my hands looked after.  Seriously, why isn’t someone paying me?  These nails are heartbreakers, I swear.

Swatch shows two coats, but some could get away with one.  It had excellent coverage.  Other less picky people could probably do one coat, even.  I did two out of habit.  And please tell me you noticed that glassy shine.  I didn’t even need to do top coat really, other than the fact I wanted my nails to dry quicker.  Cuz nothing says I suddenly got ten billion things to do like ten freshly polished (and still wet) nails.  Quick dry top coat literally saves me.

Then I decided to dress the whole thing up a bit:

Are you dying?!  I love the look of this gray and red together. I used a floral watermarble stencil from Twinkled T, which I highly recommend.  If actual watermarble gives you hives, try the stencil instead.  Yes, it’s cheating but of the best kind. It’s watermarble for lazy people. And it usually turns out better anyway.

Next is this bright ocean blue called Korinna:

  

Okay now I’m really dying. This blue is everything.  So pretty and the formula was every bit as good as the red one.  Two coats and an unnecessary layer of top coat cuz the shine on this is ridiculous.  It’s a blue dream, a pool of deliciousness.  I want to stick my fingers in everyone’s face and say look at it.  Except society says that is not allowed.

More nail art:

Were you thinking daisies would be perfect? Cuz that’s where my mind immediately went. I stamped a single daisy image all over my nails with one of my Uber Chic plates and added some bright yellow dots. And there you have an epitome of springtime right at your fingertips. Literally what more could you want in life – food, water and a daisy mani. All set.  Give me a pair of pajamas and I’m seriously never leaving my nail table again.

Thank you, Little Nail Girl, for sending these lovely polishes for review. I’m telling all my friends to buy your stuff – cuz it’s pretty and wonderful, vegan and eco-friendly. And who doesn’t love all that? (Crazy people.)