• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Just because we left two family size tubs of French Onion dip intended for mom’s Christmas party in the fridge (and effectively ruined said party if you want my opinion) and then had to buy gigantic bags of potato chips today so the dip wouldn’t go to waste DOES NOT mean I had a plan this whole time to sabotage the party and have an excuse to eat the chips and dip all by myself. I mean, it only seems suspicious. Cuz I’ve spent a great part of my life with my hand stuck inside a chip bag, and if it somehow wasn’t in a chip bag, well clearly that me wasn’t me but an imposter me and the real me had been kidnapped cuz that scenario seemed far more likely. But this time, I swear I behaved. Which might possibly be the saddest thing I’ve ever written.

Y’all, I don’t even know what I just wrote. I’ve lost 8 pounds over the course of two months (as in, NOT VERY RECORD-BREAKING, unless slowest time ever is what you’re shooting for) and I’m just freaking starving at this point. The dire lack of junk food is almost too much to bear. And a me with no chips makes a me with no proper brain function, so PAY NO MIND. I’ll just be over here rambling nonsensically with my mouth hanging open until someone just gives up and shoves some Ruffles in there.

OMG, who’s annoying? Here’s nail polish. Take a look at what Pretty Jelly has in store for the next Polish Pickup:

Seriously, can I not ever be sexy, even just for a little bit? Unless y’all got a hankering for a lady with her tongue lolling about outside her body, that is. Drooling, Level EXPERT is what I’m saying. And a husband politely (and justifiably so) looking the other way. We shall stay married for one more day. Weeee!

The theme for this month is Crystals & Gemstones and Liz was inspired by this very cool bismuth crystal:

And then she made it’s perfect polish twin. NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Look:

STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN 

DESCRIPTION: A golden green multichrome with subtle scattered holo and a rainbow of multichrome flakies

OPACITY: Two coats, but could’ve done a billion.  CAN’T. STOP. POLISHING.  It’s an epidemic, for sure.

YOU GUYS. Talk about dreamy.  I’m totally digging all these luscious greens this month.  And then this one goes and tosses in a whoooooole lotta flakie business, and I swear, who’s the most attractive, non-drool-y, zero noodle leg-y lady in all the land?  CERTAINLY NOT ME.  Ugh.  The Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing.

Formula here was wonderful.  Smooooth and lovely.  Like I said, two coats was fine, but forcibly stopping after that was a feat of superhuman proportion, soooo … where’s Leonardo?  I know y’all be sending him my way any day now.  I can’t think of anyone more deserving.  Toot toot!

Annnnnd, you’re buying it. No sense in making dumb choices this close to Christmas. Cuz Santa is always watching, even 358 days ahead of schedule.

Now, some var var important ordering information:

Price: $11

WHAT: 70-plus indie polish brands and products all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. Combined shipping is offered as well so go ahead and make 42 separate orders; it’s all good (crazy, but good).

WHEN: Friday, January 5 at 11am EST thru Monday, January 8 at 1159pm EST

WHERE: http://www.polishpickup.com

If you’d rather read the more eloquent version, click here for the FAQs from the PPU website. For extra bonus points, click here to join the Facebook fan group to take part in future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks. And then prepare to spend some money cuz it’s a bye bye checkbook-type situation for you.

Later, loves!

• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •