Monthly Archives: September 2017

Painted Polish: Midway Merriment Trio (plus bonus!)

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Considering the fact I’ve been in here blogging nonstop like Leonardo was standing there at the end of it, you’d think I’d be good and caught up and in the middle of a couch-lounging Full House EXTRAVAGANZA! by now.  Except NO.  The To-Do List is just sitting over there, multiplying itself like some kind of rude magic trick, all while I’ve skipped lunch hour nap time in an attempt to be a proper blogger and post things early for once.  Do you see all this efforting?  DO. YOU. SEE?  Seriously, if a Starbucks is coming, I’ll take a thousand.

Since we’re in a bit of a time crunch and I’ve already wasted 18 hours writing one paragraph, let’s jump into some polish. I received more swatching stuff from Painted Polish to review for you today, and if you’re in the mood for some glitter and holo and general yummy deliciousness, well then you’re about to have a VAR VAR GOOD DAY.  Take a look at what you’re buying:

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Quick! Lick the screen while no one’s looking. Now act natural.

Good job. Seriously, if you came here for the ladylike composure, you’ve picked the wrong day. Ultra drool-y scenarios coming up in 3 … 2 … 1 …

This is the Polish Con limited edition Midway Merriment trio, a beautiful set of coordinated polishes in a pink, navy and gold color scheme.  Orrrrr, straight happiness poured in a bottle!  If you’re looking at these and somehow manage to NOT close your eyes and smile to yourself like an idiot, well then I am very sad about your brain.

The colors:

SIDESHOWS & SNOW CONES

DESCRIBED as a white crelly loaded with light pink, gold and navy glitters both matte and holographic, Sideshows & Snow Cones is my absolute surprise favorite.  Cuz it’s white and it’s a crelly and those two things are scary sometimes.  But Lexi has the most AHHH-MA-ZING crelly formula – like, I think there’s actual science in there – and this baby is smooth and creamy and levels out perfectly in two beautiful coats.  

And now you want 18,000 bottles.

FAIRS & FUNNEL CAKES

DESCRIBED as a clear base loaded with those same light pink, navy and gold glitters, Fairs & Funnel Cakes is the glitter twin to Sideshows & Snow Cones.  I did one coat brushed and one coat sponged and look how well the coverage is!  I did spend eons picking stray glitters off my skin, but that is beside the point.  Cuz sometimes I’m just not very good at nails.

Ridiculous macros on display:

CARNIVALS & COTTON CANDY 

DESCRIBED as a rose gold ultra holo with added silver holographic glitters, Carnivals & Cotton Candy is just a prelude to the noodle legs you’re having later.  Cuz how swoon-y is this?!  Gah!  Those of you heading to Polish Con need to stop by Lexi’s table and toss a bottle in your basket. And some back up bottles in case you lick all over the first one. As happens from time to time.

I did three coats for my swatch just to deepen the color as much as possible.  Two covered fine though, you know, in case you don’t spend 17 hours sitting around painting nails like me.  Although WHY NOT?! is the actual question.

And now, A BONUS!  A few weeks back, Lexi released this gorgeous blue dreamboat as part of the Road to Polish Con series.  It’s no longer available online; however, she is bringing a limited number with her to Polish Con.  Who just peed a little?  ME TOO!  I swear, all pretenses of sexy officially went out the dadgum window.

FROM THE PIER, WITH LOVE

DESCRIBED as an ultramarine blue holographic with silver galaxy glitters and a pink/purple shinmer, From the Pier With Love is such a stunner! That pink shimmer peeking through?  DEAD.  And the sparkle out in the sun?  Complete freaking driving hazard.  Don’t ask me how I know.  Potholes are stinkin’ everywhere, though, in case you’re curious.

YOU GUYS. Don’t make me tell you what to do. Just toss this in your shopping cart cuz you were planning on it anyway. And now we are best friends, and you can continue to read this blog

THE ROUND UP 

If you’re headed to Polish Con in Chicago, make sure you’ve added these beauties to your shopping list.  And don’t forget, the Road to Polish Con shade is in limited quantities, so if you want it, you know what to do. Someone’s gettin elbow jabby!

And thennnnn! The online release is set for October 1 at 6pm PST.  The trio for sure; the RTPC one will be if there’s leftovers. 

Where to buy:  http://www.paintedpolish.com

I don’t currently have prices, but I’ve made an inquiry.  If/when I find out, I’ll edit this post.  PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE?  I say YES.

EDITED TO ADD:  Prices!  The Midway Merriment trio retails for $28 for all three. If you want single bottles, they retail for $10 each except for the rose gold holographic – she’s $12 cuz FANCY.  Also, the Road to Polish Con shade is also $10. But happiness?  FREE. 

And now, some clicking opportunities! Connect with Painted Polish:

Instagram 

Facebook 

Fan Group 

Later, loves!

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Illyrian Polish: The Nil Collection 

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Remember that time back in February when the hem came out of my favorite pair of pants and I thought I might get around to a proper solution within the next 180 days and then we all just laughed and laughed and laughed?

Well, turns out we were right.  Cuz approximately 7 months later, I done gave up on ever being normal and just stapled my pants back together like a crazy person.  GUYS.  Clearly you don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by going the extra mile.

So in case you like a good math problem, I have approximately 1 billion dollars worth of nail polish about to fall through the floor of my own house, but I stapled my pants like a dadgum hobo.  In my defense, the last time I walked into the alterer’s shop, i.e., land of thousand mirrors, I caught sight of my own butt and then went home and cried for the next 37 years.  So OBVIOUSLY the stapling was the most ideal.  Ugh.

Oh, but hey, let’s look at pretty things!  Miss Vanessa from Illyrian Polish sent me something gorgeous to share with you today.  Bye bye checkbook and all pretenses of ladylike composure, cuz it’s about to get super elbow jabby in about 2.5 seconds. GIMME.

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Told ya.  The Grabby Fingers, they are a’lurkin.

This is the Nil Collection, a set of 6 beautiful bottles full of holo and glitters and flakies GALORE!  Opening this swatch pack was a feat of superhuman determination, remaining upright and holding my mouth closed like a DADGUM CHAMPION.  I swear, is an award coming?  Cuz if there was ever a time for bonus points, right now would be it.

Quick rundown of the colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom!

AURORA 

DESCRIBED as a sheer teal base with blue/purple/green/pink color shifting shimmer and tiny white flecks, Aurora was the first one I swatched and then QUICKLY unattractive things happened.  SO. MUCH. DROOL.  OMG, am I still married?  Seriously, I don’t even know.

Formula here was a bit sheer, but built up nicely in three smooth and glorious coats.


MOONSHINE 

DESCRIBED as a blackened blue sheer base packed with copper shimmer, green/red iridescent glitter, holo glitters and tiny purple flecks, Moonshine is my absolute faaaaaavorite!  The sparkle!  (Dead.)  The shimmer! (More dead.)  OMG, can we not look sexy just one time, even for a little bit?  NOT TODAY!

Swatch shows two of the dreamiest coats of your life.


LOVE POTION 

DESCRIBED as a pale lilac base packed with pink/gold shimmer, tiny ultra holo glitter and red/green opalescent flakies, Love Potion is probably my second favorite.  Normally, lighter tones aren’t my favorite due to the unfortunate see-thru-ness of my skin, but there’s just something about this one.  The shimmer got me!  It got me good, guys.

Swatch shows a ridiculously perfect two coats plus sad white sausages not so sad and sausage-y.


BLUE DREAM

DESCRIBED as a blue jelly base packed with pink/gold/green shifting shimmer and ultra holo glitter, Blue Dream is just THAT:  a dream.  Everything about it is so much magical perfection, I’m literally losing control of words.  It’s moan-y throat noises from here on out.  How the rest of this blog’s getting written, I have no idea.  Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.  See?

Swatch shows – once again – two drool-y coats.  And a shimmer EXTRAVAGANZA!


JUICY FRUIT 

DESCRIBED as a light grape purple base packed with teal/green/blue shifting shimmer and ultra holo glitter, Juicy Fruit has my favorite color combo of all time: purple and green.  It’s so jaw droppingly stunning, the tongue may never go back in.  I’m 27 levels of sexy right now, in case you’re curious.

Swatch shows two luscious coats.  Who wants 18,000 bottles?  (You, to be clear.)


ALIEN

DESCRIBED as a blackened sheer base packed with silver holo, holo flakies and strong purple/red shimmer, Alien is the perfect way to end this most amazing collection.  Ugh, so pretty!  And that shimmer – legit INSANE.  I can’t even tell you how much you’re buying this cuz guess what?  YOU ALREADY KNOW.

THE ROUND UP 


Was this not one of the most beautiful collections you’ve ever saw? Seen? You’ve ever seen? Ugh. One can’t grammar at a time like this.  Cuz you’re about to toss some polish in the cart, that’s why.

The Nil Collection released previously back in late August, which means I am not very good at blogging.  However, Vanessa is restocking the shop on Friday, September 22 at 6pm CST, so toots for me for being early!  (This time.)  Here’s your shoppin’ deets:

Full collection:  $75

Single bottles:  Love Potion and Moonshine are $12; the rest are $13

Where to buy:  http://www.illyrianpolish.com

However, a word about Alien. If you want this one, you’re gonna have to get fancy. Vanessa sent her remaining bottles of Alien to her stockists, and Color4Nails has them available now for $13. A little extra step but totally worth it. 

Now set 17 alarms and put Post-It’s on all your surfaces.  COMPLETELY RATIONAL BEHAVIOR, just so you know.

Finally, some linky loos! Connect with Illyrian:

Instagram 

Facebook 

Fan Group

Off to bed, y’all!  I’m on day number one billion of not sleeping like a normal person, so let’s keep that streak going! Weeee!

Later, loves!

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Scofflaw Varnish: Polish Con Limited Editions

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Ooooh, a blog in the middle of the day; how rare!  Someone MUST be having a crisis then, in the form of 7,397 blogs left to write and only 4 days left to write them.  From this day forward, consider yourself in the midst of a POLISH EMERGENCY to the trillionth degree.  One of these days, I’ll be a proper blogger, I swear.

But hey, there’s polish!  Finch from Scofflaw Varnish sent me a couple of beauties to share with you today.  They’re exclusive to the Polish Con event in Chicago this weekend, so if you’re headed that way, VAR VAR GOOD DAY doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. Take a look:

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Gah! So pretty!  If you’re spending the next 18 years with your tongue in a drool bucket, well that sounds about right.

Hold onto your noodle legs! Here we go!

THACKERY BINX 

DESCRIBED as a black jelly base filled with bright purple flecks, shimmer and sparks with glitters in various shades of purple and gunmetal, Thackery Binx is inspired by the movie, Hocus Pocus. 

Ummmm, purple lovers, you seeing this?!  Bad case of the Grabby Fingers is lurking, I just know it.

Swatch shows three thin coats plus two layers of top coat. Cuz there’s a glitter EXTRAVAGANZA! in there, that’s why.  Formula will get a bit goopy on you if you fiddle with it too long, so GET IN GET OUT and you should be just fine.  Although, I paint nails with my eyes closed, so what do I know, really?

KARMA POLICE 

DESCRIBED as a slate colored creme with rose gold flakies with violet blue shimmer, Karma Police is a surprise favorite for me. At first glance, you see something grey, but then you swipe one time down the nail, and HOLY MOLY there goes the ladylike composure, out the dadgum window.

First of all, flakies (dead). Then Finch tossed in a bunch of beautiful shimmer (more dead). Guys, I may never be normal again.

Swatch shows two coats except I could’ve painted this on forever.

THE ROUND UP 

Both of these shades will be available at Polish Con in Chicago this Saturday, September 23. If you’re headed that way, DO NOT leave the room without this duo in your shopping cart. Like one duo, plus 27 backup duos. FOR SAFETY.

If by some miracle Finch has leftovers, she will be putting them up for salesies in the Scofflaw store. Make sure you’re following all the social medias for an announcement. Your linky loos:

Instagram

Facebook

Shop

If all things go as planned, I’ll have another blog posted tonight, but we all know how that goes.  Home is where the pajamas live, and not much else gets done after pajamas. I’m gonna try though. Send Starbucks!

Later, loves!

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Pretty Jelly: All That Jazz Collection + Polish Con Goodies

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Blogging blogging everywhere, and bonus points are coming!  Weeee!  Seriously, guys, even I’m impressed by all the overachieve-y on display.  I think I’ve done like 7,397 blogs in a row, all while one eye’s been sleeping and with one hand in a bag of Cheetos.  Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, and now THIS. How I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio at this point is beyond all the comprehensions.

So in an effort to keep the blog train rolling, let’s jump into more nail polish.  I’ve got loads of goodies from Pretty Jelly to share with you today!  Take a look at what Liz sent over:

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Now, swoon!  Cuz hers a pretty lady, that’s why.

This is the All That Jazz collection, a set of eight seductive shades inspired by the musical, Chicago.  Who’s in the mood for some holo and shimmer and super unattractive drool-y scenarios?  Damn near all of us, that’s who.  Quick rundown of colors below!

POP SIX SQUISH!

DESCRIBED as a black jelly with scattered holo, red multichrome flakies, red holographic glitter and aqua shimmer, Pop Six Squish is one of those polishes that you know you’re gonna like, but then you do approximately one swipe down the nail and basically you’ll never be normal again.  Ugh.

I’M GONNA BE … ROXIE!

DESCRIBED as a silver holographic microglitter with red, gold and black micro glitter speckled throughout, I’m Gonna Be…Roxie is one of the nicest glitter bombs of all time.  For my swatch, I did one brushed coat and one sponged coat and and the payoff is legit no joke.  I mean, I’m still picking stray glitters off my body, cuz clearly I’m not very good at nails.

ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOVE

DESCRIBED as a moss green holographic with green to purple multichrome flakies and pink shimmer, All I Care About is Love is basically all your polish dreams come true.  It’s GREEEEEEN!  All other points are moot.

Oh, two coats!  In case you’re curious.

ALL THAT JAZZ

DESCRIBED as an indigo holographic with fine red and aqua shimmer, All That Jazz is jaw droppingly beautiful!  The color is not your typical blue; it’s just different enough to be special.  So vibrant and holo-y and noodle-leg-enducing.  How we’re still upright, the world shall never know.

GIVE ‘EM THE OLD RAZZLE DAZZLE

DESCRIBED as a rich magenta holographic with pink shimmer, Give ‘Em the Old Razzle Dazzle is just that:  RAZZLE DAZZLE.  It’s four fingers full of Jolly Rancher goodness, although slightly more poison-y.  Do not lick.  DON’T DO IT!

STEP AWAY FROM JAZZ & LIQUOR

DESCRIBED as a warm brown holographic with golden-green and aqua shimmer, Stay Away From Jazz & Liquor is an absolute perrrrfect fall color!  I’m such a sucker for browns, and this one is no exception.  So warm and cozy and Schnapps-in-the-coffee GOOD.  Excuse me while I close my eyes and sigh to myself like a crazy person.

WE BOTH REACHED FOR THE GUN

DESCRIBED as a dark blue-gray holographic, We Both Reached For the Gun is your almost one coat dreamboat.  Of course, I do two coats out of habit and also cuz I have a nail polish problem.

Formula on this one is the thickest of the bunch, but it applied well as long as you don’t overwork it.

THE MISTRESS OF MURDERER’S ROW

DESCRIBED as a blood red holographic, The Mistress of Murderer’s Row is probably my favorite.  Because it’s not exactly a red; there’s a skosh of brown in there, and we all know what happens when you toss in some brown.  Magical things, y’all.  With some smelling salts on top.  Ooooh, it’s getting suuuuuper pass-out-y in here now!

In addition to this colletion, Liz sent over some stuff exclusively for this weekend’s Polish Con event in Chicago.  Who’s going?  NOT THIS LADY!  Bah.

But in case you’re one of the lucky ones, here’s the Chicago World’s Fair Set:

And good news!  You’re buying it!

Each one of these beauties is a perfect two coater.  Formula = excellent.  Colors = swoony.  You = a melty puddle of goo.  If you came for the ladylike composure, you picked a horribly wrong day.

MURDER CASTLE

DESCRIBED as a deep violet holographic with red to green shift and multichrome flakies

I see holo!  I see flakies!  I see my tongue just lolling about so unattractively.  

TESLA’S LIGHT A-FAIR

DESCRIBED as a silver holographic with shimmer and multichrome flakies, Tesla’s Light A-Fair is an unexpected jewel.  It’s less basic silver, more silver plus jazz hands.   Which means, WE LUB IT LOTS.

SPIN THE CHICAGO WHEEL

DESCRIBED as an ultramarine blue holographic with vibrant red to gold shimmer, Spin the Chicago Wheel is hands-down the happiest blue in all the land!  If you somehow find yourself at Polish Con with just $12 left in your pocket, make sure this one’s in the shopping cart.  DO IT.  I mean it.

HOOTCHY-KOOTCHY

DESCRIBED as a multichrome holographic that shifts from garnet to orange with aqua/pink shimmer, Hootchy-Kootchy is sultry and fiery and 27 levels of sexy.  Your date night nails!  Or napping nails, you know, if you’re me.

OMG, is this blog still on?  Certainly we’ve been in here about 18 years by now?

Last polish is the VIP Exclusive.  Let’s end this blog with a bang, shall we?

WILLIS? ARE YOU SEARS?

DESCRIBED as a dusty periwinkle with fine orange shimmer, holographic shimmer and gold microglitter, Willis? Are You Sears? is such an elegantly pretty shade.  I just love the contrasting shimmer – you don’t see periwinkle and orange paired up that often but it definitely works so well!  Unique and lovely!  If this one ends up on all the surfaces, no one is surprised.

THE ROUND UP 

All the important deets:

The All That Jazz collection releases Monday, September 25, which is quite possibly the most advance notice I’ve given you EVER. Look at me, being a proper blogger!

Full collection will retail for $72; individual bottles are $10 each.  However, if you purchase the collection by October 2, you can get 20% off.

Where to buy:  http://PrettyJelly.com

If you’re headed to Polish Con this weekend, you can gain early access to this collection.  Plus all polishes are buy 5 get 1 free, and OMG, who’s excited?!

As for the Polish Con goodies, more important things to know:

The Chicago World’s Fair Set will retail for $40 for all four polishes; individual bottles are $12.  The VIP Exclusive polish will also retail for $12.

If any leftovers remain after Polish Con, they will be available in the Pretty Jelly store on September 25.  Link above, cuz I’ve done enough carpal tunneling for today.

Okay, one last bit of effort!  Connect with Pretty Jelly:

Instagram

Facebook

Whew!  Is Starbucks coming?  I’ll take a thousand.

Later, loves!

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BLUSH Lacquers: A Polish Con EXTRAVAGANZA!

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It’s probably a realllly terrible idea to attempt a blog while watching Dancing With the Stars, but Multi-Task Mode has been engaged and so quite honestly, I have no choice.  However, if my brain happens to go away somewhere, you’ll know exactly where it is:  having a Debbie Gibson-style 9th grade flashback complete with hairbrush microphone and awkward dancing.  Seriously, it’s a good thing hubby’s on a business trip, otherwise divorce is lurking if I’m not mistaken.

Quick blog for you tonight cuz time is running out, and I figure I need to tell you about the things before the things are no longer the things.  Polish Con is happening in a mere 5 days and I assume you’d like to know what you’re buying BEFORE the polishes go away forever.  Professional blogger EXTRAORDINAIRE?  I say YES.

Let’s get into it; lots and lots of goodies to share!  I’ve got everything you need to know from Victoria with BLUSH Lacquers, so put your FOCUS face on; there’s some serious business up ahead.  Here we go!

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Purple lovers, pay attention!  All your dreams just came true.

This is the Magician’s Trick limited edition trio, three gorgeous purple-toned beauties inspired by the three acts of a magic trick.  Perfect two coat dreamboats!  You want these, oh yes you do.

THE PLEDGE

DESCRIBED as a lavender base with a red shimmer and scattered holo, The Pledge is the beginning or first act of the magic trick where the magician shows you something ordinary.

Soooo … this one should be like a see-thru beige or something right?  Cuz this polish is NOTHING close to ordinary.  The shimmer in it is jaw dropping.


THE TURN

DESCRIBED as a plum base with brown simmer and scattered holo, The Turn is the middle or second act of a magic trick where the magician takes the ordinary something and turns it into something extraordinary.

Okay.  EXTRAORDINARY.  Yep, that sounds about right.  I’m always a fan of deeper shades as they play nicer with my skin tone, and then you go tossing a BROWN shimmer in there, and OMG, excuse me while I go pass out for a second.


THE PRESTIGE

DESCRIBED as a deep purple base with coppery-bronze shimmer and scattered holo, The Prestige is the third and most difficult act of a magic trick where the magician brings it back, because it isn’t enough to just make something disappear.

Unless you count Cheetos, cuz that one is totally worth it.  I’m not even gonna pretend I don’t have one hand blogging and the other in a chip bag.  Why skinny is taking so damn long, I’ll never know.


This trio is a limited edition for Polish Con, but any leftovers will be sold on the BLUSH website.  No restocks are planned, so if you’re headed to PC, there better be 27 trios in your shopping cart, otherwise you are WRONG.

The Magician’s Trick trio retails for $28 for the set or individually for $10.

Next up is the Polish Con exclusive shade.  Check out this gorgeous thing:

IT’S A BREEZE ON THE TRAPEZE

DESCRIBED as a robin’s egg blue base with pink shimmer, It’s a Breeze on the Trapeze is inspired by the bright sparkling circus costumes of trapeze artists.

Another perfect two coater!  But then again, Victoria made it so we already knew.  

This one will ONLY be available at Polish Con; no leftovers will be sold in the BLUSH store.  That means if you’re not able to attend PC, you better find a shopping buddy otherwise it’s a sad state of affairs for you.  Cuz we hoard ALL the BLUSHes ’round here, that’s why.

Cost:  $12

Lastly, there’s a FREE gift with purchase!  And who doesn’t love free things?  (Crazy people.)

THE ARCHER AND THE APPLE

DESCRIBED as a deep apple red holographic with bright red shimmer, The Archer and the Apple is inspired by William Tell and impalement art circus acts where an archer or knife thrower hits an apple target off a person’s head.

YOU GUYS.  If you need one good reason to toss a whoooole lotta nail polish in the shopping cart, this here’d be it.  I stinkin’ LOVE this red.  The shimmer in it creates the most amazing inner glow.  Plus a dire case of the noodle legs.

This polish is only available with the purchase of 5 or more BLUSH polishes.  It cannot be purchased individually, and once stock runs out, there is no substition gift with purchase offer.  In other words, head to the BLUSH table first.  You know, for SAFETY.

And don’t forget!  The Road to Polish Con polish I reviewed for you a few weeks ago will be available once again.  A refresher:

TIP-TOE THE TIGHTROPE

And in case you wanna check out my in-depth review of it (orrrrr, blog full of nonsense), you can click here

That’s it y’all!  For all you lucky people heading to Polish Con this coming Saturday, first of all, I only hate you a tiny bit. But also, make sure you add these beauties to your shopping list. DO IT. I mean it.

And in case leftovers are happening, be sure to follow BLUSH Lacquers’s social media so you don’t miss out.  Here’s the linkies:

Instagram

Fan Group

Shop

As always, thanks for stopping by!  More pretty things tomorrow so come back and have your wallets handy.  Cuz this shopping thing we’ve got going on has barely gotten started.  Let’s spend more money!  Weeee!

Later, loves!

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The Holo Hookup: October 2017 – Ballroom Dance

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GUYS.  If there was ever a time to hoard some nail polish, right now would be it.  Cuz the October Holo Hookup is almost here, and you’re gonna need one box plus 27 backup boxes at minimum.  Anyone in the mood for a bit of completely rational behavior?  NOT TODAY!  An insane amount of holo is happening in 3 … 2 … 1 …

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Still upright? Just checking.

So this month’s theme is Ballroom Dance, and I swear the HH ladies were thinking of me when they came up with this one.  I started dance class the summer before 6th grade after a humiliating experience refusing to show school spirit during cheerleading try-outs.  Even at that young age, I couldn’t bring attention to myself.  I could hear all the other girls inside the gym, one by one, as they turned cartwheels across the floor,  rah-rah-rah-ing as if middle school football solely depended on it.  Seriously, I’m pretty sure the birth of my anxiety started right there in the library while I waited my turn to make a fool of myself.

Needless to say, you don’t make cheerleading by walking in the room all ladylike and proper, reciting an over-rehearsed cheer only slighter better than a robot, and then walking back out like QUIET CHEERING is a thing and I just invented it.  So in an effort to console my broken heart, mother signed me up for ballet, tap and jazz, and I stayed there, mediocrely dancing (and only a skosh less quietly) for the next 8 years.

And now I’m blogging the Ballroom Dance-themed Holo Hookup box, so life’s officially come full circle.  How I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio by now defies all the comprehensions.

Here’s the inspiration pic:


In related news, my dancing career looked approximately ZERO percent like that.  Unless you count that time where I dressed up like Dick Tracy in a yellow trench coat.  Soooo, maybe ZERO point 2 percent then.  Plus an unlimited supply of sweat bead mustache cuz pliés are hard, people!  SO. HARD.

Trying to not get too chatty in here, as I need to get this posted sometime before 2037. A polish emergency is among us and for some reason, the blog don’t write itself. So let’s get into the goodies, yes? YES.

Perhaps the best part of this box? My girl, Victoria, with BLUSH Lacquers is October’s featured brand!  I’ve said this a trillion times over, but I’ll say it again:  Victoria’s a DADGUM polish magician.  If you don’t own any BLUSHes, my first thought is WHAT?! WHY?! but then my second thought is, Here, lemme fix it.  And then this blog post just falls in your lap like no big deal.

BLUSH LACQUERS: CHA-CHA-CHA!

DESCRIBED as a copper-toned orange holographic with coppery pink shimmers, this one is so full of drool-y type scenarios, we may never be normal again.

The nail art:

And I actually like it!  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Lovely Leaves 2 plate for this one, and I have a feeling I’m going to wear the dang thing out.  It’s sooooo good!

CUPCAKE POLISH: PASO DOBLE

DESCRIBED as a red holographic with heavy silver shimmer and silver holo flakies, and it’s exactly how I take my reds.  I mean, regular red is nice and all, but toss a bunch of goodies in it and HAND MODEL! is happening whether we want it or not.

More nail art I like:

I don’t quite understand how I’ve done two good ones in a row.  Certainly the mojo is halfway out the door by now?

Used the layered flower image from the new Uber Chic Beauty 20-02 plate, in case you’re curious.  (You might be this time!)

DIFFERENT DIMENSION: SAMBA

DESCRIBED as a plum holographic with silver flakies and silver holo microglitter, this one has one of the prettiest rainbow effects that ever lived.  It’s glorious!  If it ends up on all the surfaces, guys, NO ONE is surprised.  

And then this happened:

Bye bye mojo!  Well, it was only a matter of time.

GLISTEN & GLOW:  RUMBA!

DESCRIBED as a medium turquoise holographic with silver holo microglitter and subtle flashes of blue shimmers, this one is a bonafide ocean of lovely.  Makes my sad white sausages look less sad and sausage-y, and for that fact alone, we lub it LOTS. 

An attempt to redeem myself:

Well, I don’t hate it, so bonus points are coming, surely.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty 20-01 plate here and a jumbo sized gold stud because I do nail art with my eyes closed.

More art-y things using all four polishes together. Some overachieve-y on display:

A striping tape EXTRAVAGANZA!  Plus some color blocking that took roughly eons to do.

And now, more effort:

A smoosh mani PLUS stamping?  What blog are you reading, cuz it’s certainly not mine.

THE ROUND UP 

Pre-order for this box starts on September 21 at 9pm EST and will run thru September 28 at 9pm EST. Which means, you have just ONE WEEK to get your life together before the polish goes away forever. Are you properly panicked? Well, you should be.

Cost is $40 and shipping will begin October 12th or so. Click here for shopping! (Well, not right now. The 21st. As in Thursday. We’ve been over this already.)

And now, some linky loos:

Holo Hookup Instagram

Holo Hookup Facebook Fan Group

Lastly, set some alarms and put Post-Its on all your surfaces. Cuz who’s missing out on this incredible box? CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Iconic Chicago Collection 

Standard

It’s Sunday, y’all, otherwise known as the last day to have booze in your coffee.  Make sure you take full advantage, cuz you’ve got five days ahead of you full of NO BOOZE regular coffee, which is quite possibly the lamest thing the Universe has ever done.  Well, that and business casual.  Seriously, was 7th grade Spirit Week NOT the best, most grade-A producing week ever, directly related to the fact you got to wear pajamas in public?  Let’s do more of that, then!  Pretty sure more spreadsheets get done while wearing a jumbo t-shirt and no pants at your desk.  OMG, an Employee of the Month award is lurking, guys, I just know it.

In the meantime, let’s look at pretty things!  Glam Polish is headed to the Polish Con event in Chicago, and these beauties are tagging along:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

A bonafide flakie EXTRAVAGANZA!  Plus drool and noodle legs and other ladylike-type scenarios.

Polish Con in Chicago is coming up on September 23 so Rachel made this awesome Iconic Chicago collection exclusively for the event. Each polish is named after characters and movies from Chicago’s history, and I’ve listed them alongside each swatch. Cuz although I might be the most derpy-est person on the planet, occasionally I can also be a proper blogger – or at least make 18,000 attempts.

Here’s your color rundown. Brace yourself, cuz it’s about to get suuuuuper pass-out-y in approximately 2.5 seconds. Grab your smelling salts for SAFETY.  Lessss go!

KEEP THE CHANGE YA FILTHY ANIMAL 

DESCRIBED as an amethyst jelly with ultra holo glitter, fine holo microglitter, color shifting iridescent glitter and color shifting iridescent flakies

INSPIRED by a quote from the movie Home Alone

I did three coats on three fingers and BIZARRELY, just two coats on my ring finger.  I’m not even gonna tell you I was polishing with one eye sleeping, cuz quite honestly, you already know.  In any case, it looks pretty good in two coats but I believe three deepens the color somewhat.  Other swatchers got it opaque in two coats, though, so clearly I’m not very good at nails.  Bah.

WE’RE PUTTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER 

DESCRIBED as a dark berry jelly packed with strong purple/green/blue shimmer and holographic flakies

INSPIRED by the Blues Brothers

Did two coats on ALL four fingers here, so I’ll take a horn toot if y’all not busy.  This one looks flat-out YUMMY, though; four nails of grape Jolly Rancher goodness.  Purple lovers, pay attention!  27 bottles in the shopping cart just makes sense.

ALL I DO IS SUPPLY A DEMAND 

DESCRIBED as a dusty lavender crelly with subtle holo, shifting multichrome flakies and gold, bright pink and rose holographic microglitters

INSPIRED by Al Capone

Only two coats for this one cuz suddenly we’re having a brief moment of mojo and things are working out perfectly. Of course, Glam’s formula is one of the best, most consistent formulas you’ll ever find, but in pure ME fashion, I tend to muck things up anyway. NOT THIS TIME!  Two coats and done. Weeee!

FLAKIE ON THE LAKIE 

DESCRIBED as a blue tinted holographic jelly with ultra holo glitter and indigo/green/purple shifting iridescent flakies

INSPIRED by Chicago in general; it was named by one of the members of the Glam Polish Facebook fan group

This one is my absolute favorite of the bunch!  Two coats of dreamboat, and I’m the most unattractive mess you’ve ever seen. But it glows, guys; it simply glows. And my brain has just literally left the dadgum building. 

OKAY BOYS; LET’S GO MAKE A WITHDRAWAL 

DESCRIBED as a bright violet packed with crimson shimmer and indigo/purple/red shifting multichrome flakies

INSPIRED by John Dillinger

WAIT. Now this one is glowing. Ughhhhhhhh. At this rate, we’ll never make it to the end of this blog. How two coats of this ever made it on my nails is a damn near miracle.  Cuz it’s hard to do nails while melting into a big puddle of goo.

Purple lovers!  How happy are you right now? (VERY.)

THAT’S THE CHICAGO WAY 

DESCRIBED as an intense holo with ultra holographic glitter, fine gold holo microglitter and a mix of three shades of color shifting multichrome flakies

INSPIRED by a quote from the movie, The Untouchables

Oooooh, party nails!  Or napping nails, if you’re me. Regardless, two coats so you can polish and then move on with your fancy life.

THE ROUND UP

As I mentioned, this collection is made exclusively for the Polish Con event in Chicago on September 23, so if you’re heading that way, GET ON IT, BOO BOOS!  There’s a limited quantity available and you don’t wanna miss out.  If by some miracle there are leftovers, Rachel will put them in the Glam Polish store on September 29 at 2pm EST.  I know that’s roughly eons away with light years and eternities on top, so setting 17 alarms makes the most sense.

If you need tickets to Polish Con, you can buy them here:  http://polishconvention.bigcartel.com/information-about-events

If you need (to buy me) a Starbucks gift-card-of-gratitude, go here:  http://www.starbucks.com

You know, just in case you’re in a clicking mood.

To sum up, Polish Con go-ers are the luckiest people in the world.  However, the rest of us might get our chance!  Be sure to follow Glam Polish on all their social media for updates.  Cuz if leftovers are happening, who’s going to be first in line?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.  The linky loos:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

To keep up with all things Polish Con, join the group by clicking here.  And then get back in pajamas cuz GOOD LORDT all the clicking!  Y’all can officially lounge on couches for the rest of the day.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •