Monthly Archives: August 2017

Seventy Seven Nail Lacquer: Polish Pickup September 2017


Reason #1257 I hate shopping:

I got stuck inside of a shirt in a JCPenney’s dressing room.

GUYS. I swear the shirt fit going on, but suddenly it got 27 levels of claustrophob-y on its way back off.  Literally, I couldn’t find a way out of it.  Arm holes weren’t working unless I could manage a bit of elbow gymnastics, which CLEARLY I could not (cuz gymnastics = effort).  So after a billion fruitless minutes, anxiety plus a sweat bead mustache, I stood there staring at myself mid-disaster, sad and wondering WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?!

And then, I’m pretty sure I violated some kind of dressing room code cuz hubby had to come in there to take the shirt off for me.  I panicked a little and left the door open so we wouldn’t get arrested, although I’m not entirely sure where my brain was going with that course of logic.  In my defense, this is what happens when I’m forced to leave the house against my will.  Cuz no one ever got stuck in a shirt while wearing no pants and lounging on couches.  At least 23% sure of it.

In related news, I bought the shirt because OF COURSE I DID.

More Polish Pickup goodies!  This time, I’ve got something beautiful from Connie with Seventy Seven Nail Lacquer.  Check out this purple stunner:


Well, we’re all gonna need that one!  Like 18,000 bottles of it, cuz hers a pretty lady, that’s why. 

Again, this month’s theme is Fall Foliage and Fun, and I swear if my fall looked anywhere near something like this (instead of the brown and crunchy it normally is), I’d have zero problem with its unfortunate proximity to the hell that is winter.  For at least half a second anyway.

Here is Connie’s inspiration: 

Are you kidding me?!  That picture and this polish:  practically twins!  NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Scroll for more proof:


DESCRIPTION:  A muted purple with red shimmer and taupe, greyish purple and iridescent microflakies

OPACITY:  This polish is pretty sheer, so I did 4 coats here.  Others got it opaque in 3.  HOWEVER, the formula is delicious, gloop-free perfection and 4 coats felt like it barely even happened.  I’d do it again, and coming from one who rarely goes the extra mile, that’s saying something.

More lolling tongues ahead:

This beauty just GLOWWWWWWS.  I can’t say enough good things about it.  Moan-y throat noises are about to come out, though, so let’s wrap this up real quick.  Lest hubby walks in and feels sad about the unattractive mess he’s married to.

If you need info on what the Polish Pickup is and how it works, click here for FAQs. The shop opens Friday, September 1 at 11am EST and will be available thru all day Monday, September 4. Make sure you don’t miss it! Otherwise who wants to be you on Tuesday, September 5?  Damn near nobody, pretty sure.

Falling For You will retail for $11.50, in case y’all like to budget instead of toss polish in the cart all willy nilly like me. Click here for shopping!  

Stay tuned, loves. This ride ain’t over yet!


Nail Hoot: Polish Pickup September 2017


Don’t mind me, I’m just sitting over here crying into a cupcake cuz I’m freaking 43 years old today and didn’t even wake up skinnier or prettier or NOTHING. What kind of rude birthday shenanigans is that?  Then hubby had a business trip to take this morning, so I was forced to walk about a thousand miles across the other end of the building to go get my own coffee.  Ughhhhhh.  GUYS.  I’m old now; I’m pretty sure I need to be lounging about as much as possible.  Pajamas on, feet up, and coffee just appears out of nowhere.  You know, in case the Universe needs a DADGUM REMINDER.

Good thing there’s nail polish!  We’re working our way through my Polish Pickup haul, desperately trying to post some time sensitive blogs sometime before the year 2037.  It’s going pretty well, but as y’all know, distractions are always lurking.  I’m one Full House episode away from falling down a rabbit hole.  In other words, we better get started.  Here’s the Nail Hoot contribution:


Oh, well now that’s just lovely.  I see shimmer!  I see flakies!  I see me picking my jaw up off the floor about 18,000 times.  If y’all came by for the ladylike behavior, clearly how WRONG you must be feeling right now.  Are you sweaty?  Cuz I’m sweaty.

Again, the Polish Pickup theme for September is Fall Foliage and Fun.  Again, the colors of fall make me a noodle leg-y mess.  How we’ll make it to the end of this blog, seriously I don’t even know.

Check out the inspiration for Brandie’s polish:

Told ya.  BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.  Who doesn’t want that over all their surfaces?  Crazy people.  People who don’t like happiness.  People who have no eyes.  Robots.  All the rest of us though:  GIMME.


DESCRIPTION:  A cherry red jelly with gold, pink and orange flakies

OPACITY:  Two delicious gloop-free coats

Listen, if I’m wearing a red, it’s gonna be a red like this one.  A red one with goodies in it.  This is truly one of the prettiest polishes in the sale this month.  Legit no joke.  Get it on your shopping list, stat.

More convincing up ahead:

Then I put her under the lamps cuz we haven’t drooled enough today:

Now, under the mood lights for ultra sexy scenarios:

Welp, you’re buying it.  At this point, you have no choice.

I typed it all out in my last post, but no one’s in the mood now for carpal tunnel so if you’d like more info on the concept of the Polish Pickup, you can read the FAQs here.

The sale opens on Friday, September 1 at 11am EST and will stay open all the way thru Monday, September 4. Cost varies between makers, but Autumn Fire will retail for $9.75, which is practically free in case you’re curious. Shipping is a flat $3, which is just one more reason to love everything about this scenario.

Where to buy:

Don’t forget: to get connected with future sales and to participate in the nomination and voting of themes, join the Polish Pickup group on Facebook. Click here!

Okay, that’s it for this one.  More coming tomorrow.  Prolly double up on the blogging fun, cuz I’m starting to get anxiety.  Responsibilities are dire, people!  But the lure of the couch is some serious business.  (SEND HELP.)

Later, loves!


BLUSH Lacquers: Polish Pickup September 2017


Wasn’t I just in here doing the Polish Pickup?  I swear I was, but somehow another month has flown by and here we are again, about to hoard us all some polish.  Not too shabby of a way to spend a few days, that’s for sure.  Plus, my birthday is tomorrow and I’m fully expecting Leonardo to show up and hand me a Starbucks.  Cuz when hubby asked me what kind of gift I wanted, I’m almost certain he knew I meant EXACTLY this.  Otherwise, turning 43 may start off on a very wrong foot.  Although, maybe a Christian Louboutin-clad one, which in that case:  I forgive you.

In related news, hubby just loooooooves being married to me, I’m about 23% certain.

Oh, but yeah.  The Polish Pickup.  It’s happening in a few days, and you need to be prepared.  Put your focus face on, people!  Cuz there’s some serious business up ahead.  Presenting Lakeside Manor by BLUSH Lacquers, also known as the first thing you’re buying:


Gah!  So pretty!  Of course, anything Victoria does is pure magic.  If you’ve never owned one of her polishes, well now is not the time to continue doing what other thing you’ve been doing besides buying all the BLUSHes.  In fact, you’re tossing 18,000 bottles in the cart to make up for it.  Completely rational behavior?  NOT TODAY!

For the month of September, the Polish Pickup theme is Fall Foliage and Fun.  If there’s one thing I love about fall, it’s the color of it.  So cozy and warm and comforting.  Soothes my soul like nothing else.  And as long as I can enjoy it from the inside of my house, covered in a crap ton of toasty blankets, me and fall:  well, we’s best friends.

Here’s the inspiration photo for Lakeside Manor:

Whyyyyy, that’s a beautiful foggy morning on a lake!  If I had something like that to wake up to every day, there’s a .179568% chance I’d make it to work on time.  As opposed to the negative one billion I’m currently doing.  Ugh.


DESCRIPTION:  A light grey-blue base multichrome with shifts of coppery-bronze, gold and green

OPACITY:  Three effortless coats

And it’s FREAKING DREAMY.  That shimmer is insanely pretty, and I kinda sorta want it all over my body.  For real, you guys, if anything ladylike happens next it would be a damn near miracle.

More drool-y opportunities below!

How unattractive are you right now?  (VERY.)  It’s a drool bucket EXTRAVAGANZA! with a side of noodle legs, at minimum.

So about this Polish Pickup thing, I’ll give you a brief rundown of talking points:

WHAT: 42 indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHEN: Friday, September 1 at 11am EST thru all day Monday, September 4


If you’d rather read the more eloquent version, click here for the FAQs from the PPU website.

The prices will vary from brand to brand, but BLUSH Lacquers’ will retail for $11. Although a billion dollars would be fine too.  COPPER SHIMMER, guys.  Now what is your question?

To join in the fun of future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks, click here for the Facebook fan group. DO IT. I’m serious.

To be continued, loves! Only 7,347 polishes to go!


Turtle Tootsie Polishes: Grease-Inspired Collection 


I’m not even gonna tell you what time it is cuz you probably already know.  Apparently, I can’t blog like a normal person.  Or go to bed like a normal person.  Seriously, what the hell is sleep anyway?  Something for other people, I’m quite certain.

But because I’m so incredibly behind on the 7,397 blogs left to write, we’re just gonna power through anyway.  One eye is closed and stupid things are bound to come out, but AN ATTEMPT IS BEING MADE and therefore bonus points are coming.  Or a Starbucks, you know, if y’all not busy.

So here we go!  I received a most awesome swatch pack from the lovely Chrissy with Turtle Tootsie Polishes, and it had me swoon-y in so many ways.    First of all, it’s TTP’s first time on the blog and I feel like a fancy lady!  But secondly, and perhaps most importantly, this is a Grease-inspired collection and when I say it gives me chills, well, you know exactly what happens next.

Okay, they multiply.  Sorry, I got scared you didn’t know and were sitting there thinking YEP, there’s that stupid thing we were waiting for.  Ugh.  But anyway, the collection.  Get on this, stat.


Lordt.  There’s 10 of them.  You’ve basically won the nail polish jackpot.  Weeeee!

As you can imagine, there’s a crap ton of photos up ahead, so brace yourself for 18,000 drool-y scenarios AT THE MINIMUM.  Also, singing.  Lots of ridiculous singing.  Cuz you can’t just throw out a Grease-inspired collection and somehow expect us all to behave like NOTHING AWESOME JUST HAPPENED.  It just goes together, you know, like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.

See?  Told you.

Okay, no more chatty lest this blog gets published sometime in 2037, i.e., most likely too late.  Enjoy the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom!


DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise holo with gold shimmer and gold flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A pink pastel holographic with neon pink microflakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A black jelly with silver shimmer and silver holo microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A bright blue holographic with blue/green microflakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A golden peach holographic with assorted chrome chameleon flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A gray creme holo with silver holo microglitter

OPACITY:  Three coats plus top coat, but could’ve been two except grays make me nervous; also, I’m weird


DESCRIPTION:  A nude holographic with purple shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A peachy pink holographic with gold flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A pink/purple metallic holographic

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A red-purple holographic

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat


Soooooo, good news!  You’re buying all this!  Here’s all you need to know:

This collection comes in both full size for $90 or minis for $55, as well as individual bottles for $10/full or $6/mini.  HOWEVER, I say go all out cuz I’m the best damn enabler that ever enabled.  All ten polishes, in the cart they go!

Oh, and this collection is available now, so you don’t even have to set alarms or exude effort or anything!  Whyyyyyy, who’s officially having the BEST DAY EVER?  (You, to be clear.)

Where to buy:

Now sit back, relax and revel in your good decisioning.  Also, stalk the mailman like a proper loon.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

The linky loos!  Connect with Turtle Toosie:



Fan Group

Later, loves!


Anchor & Heart Lacquer: Through the Stones Collection 


Guess who’s managed to get herself behind on blogs once again?  Ugh.  GUYS.  Something bad is happening.  Who keeps putting me in pajamas and laying a bag of Doritos down within grabby distance when they know DAMN WELL the blogs don’t write themselves?  And now we’ve gone and made things a trillion times worse cuz there’s a POLISH EMERGENCY! among us and I’m just sitting over here ignoring responsibilities like it’s my dadgum job.   Uhhhhhnnnnnnnn.  One of these days, I’ll figure out how to be a Superhuman.

In the meantime, though, it’s business as usual.  Only two days left of one of the most important polish events of your life, and naturally now is a good time to finally write a blog about it.  Best blogger ever?  I think YES.

Multichromes are happening, y’all!  Miss Taryn from Anchor & Heart Lacquer has a STUNNING new collection out that’s packed full of so much shifty business (at least 27 levels) that you’re gonna need every last bit of it.  So FOCUS:  things’re about to get reeeaaaal serious.  Look:


Told ya.  You’re about to spend some money today, I just know it.

Inspired by the engaging characters of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander book series, this is the Through the Stones collection, 7 pieces of luscious multichrome, plus holo, plus flakies, and OMG we’ll never be the same again!  So grab your drool buckets and your smelling salts, cuz we’re all about to get suuuuuper unattractive in 2.5 seconds.  Lessss go!


DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink/gold/orange/green shifter with scattered holo micro pigment, purple holo microglitter and slight metallic finish

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A turqouise base that shifts violet/fuchsia/olive green with scattered holo pigment and a sprinkling of red/pink/gold/green color shifting flakes

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  An emerald green that shifts turquoise/blue/fuchsia and even silver at certain angles, with scattered holo pigment, green iridescent micro glitter and silver holo micro glitter

COATS:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  An orange/bronze/red shifter with magenta peeking through at extreme angles, with red holo micro glitter, scattered holo pigment and gold/copper/red chrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats with glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A purple base with purple/blue/green shift, even silvery light green in certain lighting, with scattered holo pigment, purple holo micro glitter, and purple flashes from iridescent microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A blue-green base that shifts orange/gold/lime green with metallic gold shimmer, scattered holo pigment and violet/pink/gold chrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION :  A deep blue base that shifts emerald/lime/gold/pink with small and micro color shifting chameleon glitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


Who’s still upright?  NOT THIS LADY!  I am a legit puddle of goo.  The polishes got me, guys.  They got me good.

Formula on these is pretty consistent across them all.  Two effortless coats!  The colors are super rich and saturated, and a base coat is highly recommended, especially if you are prone to staining.  I didn’t have any issues myself, which is surprising considering how breezy my life’s been lately.  Bahahahahaha.  Ugh.

All my photos were taken in various lighting situations in order to show off the shifty possibilities.  Only one polish – I Was Born For You – had a completely different look under low light.  Like, where’d that brown come from?!  Heaven, prolly.  I loves me some brown, oh yes I do.

Now here’s where the polish emergency comes in.  These beauties are available for preorder right now through all day Monday, August 28, which means you have roughly 2 days to get your life together.  No sense in setting alarms; going NOW seems like the most logical next step.  Here’s some deets:

Full set retails for $77; individual bottles are $12; happiness is FREE (never forget).

And there’s coupons!  If you are in the US, enter code FREESHIP50 for free shipping with orders of $50 and over.  However, if you order the full collection, you get automatic free shipping and no code is necessary.  If you are international, enter code INTERNATIONAL50 for $7 off your order of $50 or more.

Where to buy:

So get on it, boo boos!  Cuz who’s missing out on this collection then?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

And now, some click-y business!  Connect with Anchor & Heart:



Fan Group

Later, loves!


BravesDiva Polish: 1st Indieversary Trio (plus new multichromes!)


Hope you’ve come for some pretty nail polish, cuz that’s basically all I’ve got for you today.  All other efforting = out the dadgum window. Seriously, I haven’t even changed out of my work clothes yet so I’ve basically been sitting here sans pajamas for the past 8 hours like a crazy person.  Did y’all just check to see what blog this is?  Cuz this one’s having an identity crisis.  Of course, it’s well past midnight and I thought now’s a good time to start a blog, soooo .. maybe not much of a crisis after all.  RELAX GUYS.  Apparently it’s been me in here the whole time, and this story just got a trillion percent less exciting. Weeeee!

Good thing there’s nail polish!  I received some pretties from the lovely Tara with BravesDiva Polish to share with you today, so y’all gonna need to put your focus face on.  Cuz I’ve got metallics and multichromes and all your polish dreams come true, and missing it is completely out of the question.  Take a look at what you’re buying:


BravesDiva is having a birthday!  To celebrate, Tara made us this gorgeous metallic 1st Indieversary Trio, and they are shiny and blingy and PERFECT for party nails.  Or for napping nails, you know, if you’re me.  Regardless, though, you want them, oh yes you do.

Quick rundown of the colors, lest we be in here for the next 18 years.  Lesssss go!


DESCRIPTION:  Coppery rose gold metallic

OPACITY:  Two coats

Well, this is starting out well.  Excuse me while I drool in a thousand buckets.  BRB.

Here’s a shot inside the light box so you can see the underlying color without the distraction of the bling.  Still pretty, although I prefer the other way.  Mo’ metallic, mo’ better.

I know.  STOP IT.  Moving on.


DESCRIPTION:  A platinum rose metallic

OPACITY:  Two coats

This one is my faaaaaavorite!  What a gorgeous pink!  It’s like being Queen of England approved but probably with some whiskey in your teacup.  Not that I’d know anything about that.  CUZ I AM THE MOST BORING PERSON IN THE WORLD.  Ugh.

However, my point:  it’s girly but not, all at the same time.  Get on it, stat.

In the lightbox, less sassy but still lovely:


DESCRIPTION:  A bronze metallic

OPACITY:  Two coats

Okay, well now this one might be my favorite.  Cuz of out of all the medal colors, bronze is the best.  I’d purposefully come in 3rd place just so I could get a bronze medal, which might be the number one reason why I’m not good at sports.  Either that, or because I wear pajamas a lot.

In the lightbox, still lookin’ fly:

Application on all three polishes was nice and easy, but a big o B to get off your skin if you tend you polish with your eyes closed (as happens from time to time).  They also stamp over light and dark colors, neither of which I have to show you cuz someone’s a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, that’s why.

OMG, I am soooo good at blogging, you guys!

In addition to the indieversary trio, Tara also has a couple of new single polishes for us.  Multichromes are happening!  Jaws are dropping in 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..


DESCRIPTION:  A blue/purple/teal multichrome jelly loaded with blue/green/purple multichrome glitters

OPACITY:  Three coats

You done died.  You did.  I can’t even pretend anything ladylike is happening after this.  Lolling tongues, up ahead!


DESCRIPTION:  A violet/blue/green chameleon shifter with silver holo microglitters and a sprinkling of blue/green/purple multichrome glitters

OPACITY:  Two for the most part, but I did three for funsies

So stinkin’ dreamy.  If this one somehow ends up on all the surfaces, no one is surprised.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, if you’re curious.


Both the 1st Indieversary collection and two multichromes will be available for pre-order on Sunday, August 27 at 9pm EST through all day Sunday, September 10, so you have a mere two weeks to organize your life.  Set 17 alarms and put Post-It Notes on everything.  Cuz if you’re gonna be a Crazy Nail Lady, it’s best to do it proper.

At the moment, I don’t have a retail cost for you, but I imagine it will be in the $12ish range based on another multichrome currently in the shop.  However, I will update the blog as soon as I hear and then we can all be amazed by how good I am at guessing prices.

EDITED TO ADD:  Turns out, I’m a flipping GENIUS. The multichromes are $12 each and the trio retails for $21 (not sold individually, but it all works out since you were buying 27,000 bottles anyway).

Where to buy:

That’s it, friends!  Put your wallets on standby then send over gift cards of gratitude.  Cuz who’s the best damn enabler who’s ever enabled?  I’m not even gonna tell you cuz you already know.

Later, loves!


Quixotic Polish: She Sells Seashells Collection 


I halfway expected to blind myself during yesterday’s solar eclipse. Cuz you’re perfectly fine not ever looking at the sun until someone TELLS you not to look at the sun.  Then suddenly you are like a 9-year-old child gleefully saying cuss words to yourself out in the backyard:  you know it is wrong, but quite simply, your brain’s done gone away somewhere.

I figure, however, now is not the time for a science experiment, considering eyes and all the seeing that is left to do.  To combat the crazy, I spent an extraordinary amount of time looking up disaster stories on eclipse viewing gone wrong, and OMG, MISTAKE!  ABORT, ABORT!  I swear, can I not just for one second try to be sexy?  NOT TODAY!  Or at least not while covered in 27 tubes of hives cream.  Ahhhh, Anxiety, my evil friend.  How I managed to leave the house somehow NOT wearing a tin foil UV ray-deflecting jumpsuit is practically a DADGUM miracle.

In other words,  clearly I need supervised.  Although, I did tell my 23-year-old daughter she wasn’t allowed to go outside in case she accidentally burned a hole in her retina (as you do) cuz I like to spread the anxiety around.  My daughter loooooves being related to me, I just know it.

Thank goodness I’ve got this nail polish thing on lock!  Mary from Quixotic Polish sent me her beautiful She Sells Seashells collection to review for you today, and if pearly, shimmery, delicious iridescence is your thing, well you’re about to have your best day EVER.  Take a look:


An insane display of pretty?  YES INDEED.  It’s time for some noodle legs in case you’re curious.  (You are!)  Here’s a quick rundown of the colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom:


DESCRIPTION:  A pearly white with strong purple shimmer

OPACITY:  I did three coats on this one, although some may only need two

This one ended up being a surprise favorite.  Normally, I’m kind of indifferent with white, but toss in a bunch of glorious purple shimmer, and NO ONE is walking away.  Looks exactly like the inside of a seashell.  Mary nailed this one, for sure. 


DESCRIPTION:  A light lavender with strong green shimmer

OPACITY:  Two was just fine, but I added three cuz it physically hurt to stop polishing

All you purple lovers, get on this, stat.  One bottle plus 27 backups in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.  As happens from time to time.  Cuz rational behavior is for other people. Weeeee!


DESCRIPTION:  A sandy nude with strong turquoise shimmer

OPACITY:  Again, two was fine but I did three

Look what else you’re buying!  Gah!  So pretty.  Neutral shades like this are usually my last pick, but this one has just enough darkness in it to make my sad white sausages look slightly less white and sad.  And for that fact alone, I lub it lots!


DESCRIPTION:  A sky blue with strong gold shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats; three for funsies

The blue pulls you in but the gold makes you stay.  There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without spending some money.  Unless you don’t like pretty things.  Or you have no eyes.  I dunno. 


DESCRIPTION:  A magenta pink with blue shimmer

OPACITY:  Two or three; you know the drill

I can’t think of a better way to end this blog.  Something bold and vibrant and super duper sexy.  I’d say “like me” but then again, you’ve read this blog before. Nothing sexy to see here, let’s just say.  Thank goodness I’m such a trophy wife or we’d all be worried.


Well, we’ve officially drooled in a thousand buckets, haven’t we? So, see?  Still not sexy.  OMG, am I still married?  Cuz seriously, I don’t even know.

This collection is available now, so you’re all set for shopping!  Here’s some var var important ordering deets:

Full set retails for $47 (i.e., what you are buying) and single bottles are $10 each (i.e., moot point)

Where to buy:

And now, the linky loos!  Connect with Quixotic Polish:



Fan Group

Time for clickin’, y’all!  You were just sitting around in sweatpants doing nothing anyway.  Well, if you’re me.

Later, loves!