GUYS. After all the blogs I’ve written, assuming an award would be coming any day now – either for a miraculous not-hideous nail art or maybe just because I wore pants on a Sunday –  well FINALLY all that efforting has paid off.  Cuz a legit no joke award has officially come.  I’ll be honest:  I was just thinking maybe y’all would get me a Starbucks or something.  But OMG, NO; it’s wayyyyy better.

Sarah and Adrienne, the awesome gals behind the Polish Pickup (as well as Fair Maiden Polish), asked me to be the designated blogger for the month of July.   Whaaaaaa?!  For real, are angels singing?  Cuz I swear I hear angels.  And a full toot on my own horn, at the minimum.  Cuz I rarely win anything.  I mean, I guess I did win 48 rolls of toilet paper in the work raffle, but that point is moot.

So listen, this is gonna be a super big blog post.  There are 29 polishes to go over that’ll take at least 18 years to read, so make sure you have snacks and some diabetic circulation socks handy cuz basically you’re not moving for a really long time.  I mean, if I’m about to give myself a wicked case of carpal tunnel, you’re about to look at some nail polish for nigh on eternity.  Who’s getting excited then?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.  Lessss go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

For those who aren’t familiar with the Polish Pickup, I’ll give you a very brief synopsis.  Each month there is a theme that is nominated and voted on by the members of the Polish Pickup group on Facebook.  The makers who participate will create exclusive polishes based on that theme, the shop goes live on the first Friday thru Monday of the month, and then we all thank Baby Jesus for the internet, otherwise there’d be some Black Friday-style elbow jabbing happening everywhere.  Come Tuesday, the shop is closed and the polish goes away forever.  Are you properly panicked?  Well you should be.  It’s a  POLISH EMERGENCY! at it’s most finest.

To read more about it, click here.

Okay, no more chatty.  There’s some serious business up ahead.  EVERYONE:  prepare for the noodle legs, cuz it’s about to get suuuuuper pass-out-y up in here.   This month’s theme is Cocktails & Mocktails, so if you need a reason to have a wine cooler on a Sunday morning, this here’d be it. 

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ALTER EGO:  Silver Cocktail

DESCRIPTION:  A silver holographic base with just a hint of gold

COATS:  Opaque in two; ultra smooth 

I reallllly love this color.  It’s a simple and elegant shade, but that holo is straight up ridiculous.  About 27 levels of gorgeousness.  And Queen of England-approved, in case y’all are having sandwiches later.  As happens from time to time.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $7

Linky loos:

Shop http://wisconsinsoap.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/alteregobodycareproducts

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/alteregobodycareproducts

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ELLAGEE:  Hard Cider

DESCRIPTION:  A luscious warm brown holographic with flashes of honey gold plus copper, bronze and gold microflakies

COATS:  Opaque in two; easy to apply

Did someone just wrap me up in a thousand toasty blankets and hand me a bunch of kitties?  Might as well have!  This polish is a comfy cozy dreamboat, and we lub her so much.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $12

Linky loos:

Shop http://ellagee.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/ellageepolish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/ellageepolish

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POLISH MY LIFE:  Passion Peach Sangria

DESCRIPTION:  A light peach/mild orange crelly with white and rainbow flakies for the perfect shimmer

COATS:  Formula was thicker than average so I added several drops of thinner to ease application. Two coats was good coverage but I did three to smooth everything out. 

The flakies in this one are a bit shy to capture, but in person you can see them easier.  I mean, it’s not a flakie EXTRAVAGANZA! or anything, but sometimes you just want something a little more chill.  We’re not always feeling our jazz hands, now are we?  And this peach color has just enough darkness in it to not wash out my see-thru skintone.  Bonus!

Outside:

Macros:

Price: $11

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.polishmylife.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/polishmylife

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/polishmylife

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NIGHT OWL LACQUER:  Dragon Blood

DESCRIPTION:  A yellowy neon green base with bright green sparks and ultra chameleon chrome flakies that shift red/copper/green/gold

COATS:  Three easy ones

If you’ve read this blog before – although WHY HAVEN’T YOU?! is the actual question – y’all know I have a thing for green.  Green is my happy place.  I mean, where there is green there is me picking my jaw off the floor like 18,000 times.  And then you go tossing flakies in it like NBD, and I swear I’ll never be normal again.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $10

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.nightowllacquer.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/nightowllacquer

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/nightowllacquer

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NORTHERN STAR:  Shark Bite

DESCRIPTION:  An ocean blue base with red microflakies and blue shimmer

COATS:  I got opacity in 2, but some may need 3

This is my very first Northern Star polish, but it’s absolutely not my last.  Formula on this is beyond amazing, so fluid and practically silky.   The deep saturated color was a one way ticket to the Drool Convention, and I swear if I there weren’t like 24 more polishes to get through, I’d just go ahead and pass on out now.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $9

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.northernstarcosmetics.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/northernstarpolish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/northernstarpolish

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MY INDIE POLISH:  Goodnight Puppy

DESCRIPTION:  A pink base with lots of depth and a neat green spark

COATS:  I did three even though two probably would’ve been just fine; no formula issues at all

This one makes me smiley, although not very adorably.  No, I’m just sitting here with my eyes closed, smiling to myself like an idiot cuz polish does things, and they’re not always pretty.  The Ugly Ecstasy Face, guys!  It’s getting very unattractive over here. 

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $11

Linky loos:

Shop http://myindiepolish.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/myindiepolish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/indiepolish

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POLISH ‘M:  Ripped in Rio de Janeiro

DESCRIPTION:  A red/orange leaning coral with gold microflakies, red/gold microflakies and red and gold scattered galaxy holo

COATS:  Two of the smoothest of your life!

Oh, but this one!  What a spectacular shade for summer.  Seriously, you’re buying one bottle plus 27 backup bottles in case of accidental polishing of all the surfaces.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $9

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.polishm.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/creativenailchick

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/polishmpolish

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NAIL HOOT:  Berry Sexy Vanilla Sunrise

DESCRIPTION:  A berry holographic with a hint of a purple flash

COATS:  Opaque in a quick two

Nail Hoot was the very first indie brand polish I’d ever purchased over two years ago, and it’s because of Brandie that I even have this indie addiction.  Basically, if it wasn’t for Nail Hoot luring me into this fantastical new world, you wouldn’t be reading this blog right now.  It simply wouldn’t exist.  So now we all owe Brandie our firstborn childrens cuz I think that’s how this thing works, right?  I might be thinking of something else.  Either way, though, Brandie, THANK YOU!

Under the lamps:

Macros: 

Price: $9.75

Linky loos:

Shop http://nailhoot.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/nailhoot

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/nailhoot

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DIFFERENT DIMENSION:  Purple Rain

DESCRIPTION:  A mulberry purple linear holographic with added color shifting pigment and a gorgeous pink flash

COATS:  Opaque in basically one coat, but I did two to smooth out my strokes

Uhhhhhhhnnnnn.  Words have left me.  It’s seriously moan-y throat noises from here on out.  Purple lovers, you die!  How this blog is getting finished, well, wouldn’t we all like to know?

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $11

Linky loos:

Shop http://differentdimension.us

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/differentdimensionus 

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/difdimension

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FAIR MAIDEN POLISH:  Sparkling Sangria

DESCRIPTION:  A berry holographic with red flame and holographic sparkles

COATS:  Pretty much a one coater but I did two cuz CAN’T STOP POLISHING.

This is the perfect ending to Part 1 of the blog cuz nothing has you beggin for more like a sultry, sexy little red.  Seriously, are you hot?  Cuz I’m hot.  Don’t mind me and my sweat bead mustache.  Ugh.  Good thing I’ve got this Trophy Wife deal on lock, or else we’d all be worried.   

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $11

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.fairmaidenpolish.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/fairmaidenpolish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/fairmaidenpolish

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The Polish Pickup shop will open on Friday, July 7 at 11am EST and will run thru Monday, July 10 until 11:59pm EST.  Click here for shopping, but only after you read parts 2 and 3.  WE ARE NOT DONE.  In fact, we’ve just gotten started.  Weeeee!

Part 2

Part 3

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •