Monthly Archives: April 2017

Fair Maiden Polish: Pony Parade Collection 


I spent three hours in the bathtub today cuz the actual thought of hoisting myself out of it was almost too much to bear. Like, I might as well have been 18000 pounds, considering how well this was going. Hubby came in to check on me and actually offered to pull me out, which is both sweet and slightly alarming.   In either case, he loves being married to me, I just know it. 

But omg, guys. I’m sooooo tired. I stayed up til 530 this morning trying to be a nail blogger but things were failing all over the place. Perhaps blogging with your eyes closed isn’t the brightest idea. I mean, I had two polishes to review. TWO. That should’ve taken one hour, tops. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I can’t write with the TV on. Cuz a Full House + Friends + Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathon doesn’t bode well for the attention span. And responsibilities are things for other people. 

However, deadlines are deadlines, and I am a dadgum professional.  I published once today and here I am back again like no big deal. Is there an award coming then, cuz I’m feeling very deserving right about now.

Sarah and Adrienne, the two lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish, sent me this awesome swatch pack to show off for you today.  First time on the blog y’all, and I’m so super fancy!  I’ve got their 5-piece spring collection, all inspired by the vintage 1980s version of My Little Ponies.  How stinkin’ cute is that? (Very.)  Let’s have a good look then!  Here’s Pony Parade:


I love everything 80s.  Gimme all the music, all the toys, and all the unfortunate clothes my mother dressed me in.    I want the roller rink on a Friday night, the church camp where I did more kissing things than church things, and all the sleepovers – even the one where I woke up in my best friend’s pee.  I just love that feeling of nostalgia. In fact, the older I get, the more I crave it.

There’s something to be said about the simplicity in life.  Let’s just go back to that time, shall we, cuz I’m tired of driving myself to places.  And I’m not interested in paying utility bills anymore.  Actually, let’s roll all the way back to before I learned to shave my legs, cuz I’m not much interested in that thing either.  Yep, I’m all in for a field trip to the 80s and all the mix tapes and bicycle rides to the post office that it comes with.  Plus, I believe there’s a 7th grade class missing their Spelling Bee Champion, and that girl I slapped in the ear?  Well, I’m pretty sure she’s missing me too.

And now, the polish.  First up is Locket:

This one is a punchy pink holographic with duochrome shimmer that shifts violet/orange with multi holographic sparkles.  Now, I’m not the world’s best at photographing duochromes unless you find extreme hand contortion to be some sort of selling point instead of the circus side show it really is.  However, hopefully these photos will give you an idea at least.  The lights do show off the violet, but the orange is more elusive.  It’s in there, but only slight.

Under the lamps:


You see the orange in the upper right in the bottle macro?  Yep, I’m soooooo good at blogging, you guys!

Some nail art I did:

Kinda cute, right?  I mean, if you’re into zero displays of effort, this is a pretty good one.  Took me less than 5 minutes to make cuz creativity is a strange and unreachable thing, and if there’s an easy road in front of me, imma gonna take it.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Mother’s Day plate for this one, just so you know.

Next up is Peachy:

This one is a light peach holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and multi holographic sparkles.  And surprisingly, despite how extra sausage-y my fingers look in neutrals, I really like this color.  It’s very elegant and sweet and 2.5 seconds away from tea with the Queen.  Cuz this one begs to hold a tiny sandwich, I’m pretty sure.

Under the lamps:

It’s so glowy; I die.

Lolling tongues ahead!

Some not-hideous nail art:

Sometimes I make cute things.  I like this one, finally.  A brief moment of mojo, and I’m gonna revel in it for the next 987 years.  Give or take.   

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate, and it’s a good one!

Now here’s Seaflower:

This one is a seafoam green holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and more of those multi holographic sparkles.  Lemme just say, this is my favorite.  Cuz GREEN, but who is surprised?  You’ve read this blog before right?  I mean, where there is green, there is also me reattaching my jaw to my face for the 18000th time.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels?  Cuz I hear angels.

Will the macros ever end?  NO.

Kinda proud of this one:

I made actual effort cuz gradient stamping doesn’t just appear by magic.  Sad, I know.  Cuz if I could just lounge on couches instead, that’d be great.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate again and picked out some purple and aqua stamping polish to compliment the base and shimmer.  Sounds like someone thought things through for once.  Hope a Starbucks is coming.  You know, if y’all not busy.

Next up is Moonstone:

This one is a soft blue holographic with a violet/orange duochrome shift and – you guess it – those multi holographic sparkles.  Still having trouble photographing the orange, but you can see the violet really well.  Either way though, all you blue lovers just died a little bit.  You done did.

Under the lamps:

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Some simple art:

I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.  I mean, no one is giving me a trophy for this one, pretty sure.  Even a participation ribbon might need committee approval first.  

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate in case recreations are in order.  Hahahaha.  Blah.

Lastly, here’s Twilight:

This one is a vibrant purple holographic with a duochrome shift of blue and orange and more multi holographic sparkles than we know what to do with.   Gotta end this collection on a high note right?  And then you’re buying every single one of these cuz you make good decisions.  I mean, you’ve somehow managed to still be reading this blog, so toots for you my friend.

Under the lamps:

Seriously, the sparkle is insane.  In person, they’re all a driving hazard to the trillionth degree.

Final macros in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

I don’t know what this one is:

Bye bye mojo.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-03 plate if you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

The round up:

The Pony Parade Collection released for pre-sale just yesterday, so you’re all set for shopping!  Each polish is $10 or you can get the whole set for $46.  They also have the set in minis for $30 if that’s your thing.  Head over to the shop and toss em all in the cart.  Serious. I mean it.  Click here immediately.  The sale is available until tomorrow evening (May 1), so we have a dire POLISH EMERGENCY! on our hands.  Don’t miss it, otherwise it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Now you can sit back, relax and stalk the mailman like a certified loon.  I mean, what other response could be more logical?  You don’t get to CRAZY NAIL LADY by being rational.  And why be obsessesed if you can’t do it properly?

Later, loves!


Blush Lacquers: Girly Bits Exclusives 


Welp.  Polish Con is over.  Somehow I managed to write 7237 blogs with just a minimum of a carpal tunnel type situation.  This is what happens when you obsess in a proper way.  THINGS GET DONE.  Granted, sometimes nothing else gets accomplished, such as chores or groceries or the general wearing of pants, although try telling me a leftover Easter candy dinner and 197 hours worth of robe isn’t a good idea.  STILL MARRIED, in case you’re curious.

It’s rained all day anyway, so the amount of motivation happening over here is only slightly alarming.  I just checked my fitness app and I’ve done a total of 132 steps in a 24-hour-period.  That is not a typo.  However, in my defense, when you sit down for a living, using your body for other activities is not as easy as expected.  If I’m up moving around at all, it’s cuz someone put a Starbucks in another room or something.

So, just checked my calendar, and it looks like another blog-heavy week is headed your way.  Which means if these posts don’t figure out a way to write themselves, I’ll be sitting on this couch for all eternity and hubby will have to just bring me stuff on his way back from the kitchen.  Cuz imma need a sandwich from time to time.  And some diabetic circulation socks, at the minimum.  Best blogger ever, is what you’re thinking.

And now: the point.  I received more pretties from one of my favorite brands, Blush Lacquers, to share with you today.   Here is a lovely duo made exclusively for the Girly Bits shop that you’re getting your hands on in 2.5 seconds.  Cuz you make good decisions, that’s why.  Take a look!


Blush Lacquers has joined the Girly Bits family, a polish brand and international stockist, so now customers from all over the world can finally hoard all the polish in a proper way.  To celebrate, Victoria has created two beautiful exclusive shades just for the Girly Bits store.  Roll your fainting couches over in case of accidental lounging, cuz it’s about to get super pass-out-y in here.

First up is Can’t Buy Me Love:

This one is a minty green scattered holographic creme with fuchsia microglitters, iridescent microflakies and a subtle blue shimmer.  And you had me at GREEN.  Isn’t this such a stunning shade?  It’s happiness, cheer and probably some magic poured into a bottle.  It’s Leonardo standing in your living room handing you a Starbucks.  It’s an entire bag of Funyuns and the house to yourself.  It’s everything you’ve ever wanted is what I’m trying to say.  If this isn’t already in your shopping cart, I question the state of your brain.

Formula was not too thick and it glided on smooth.  Two coats of perfection is all you need.


Seriously, have you ever?  NO. YOU. HAVE. NOT.

Then there’s Aisle Be Waiting:

This one has a medium grey scattered holographic base with beautiful aqua to purple shifting shimmer and silver microflakies.  It’s the perfect shade, so dainty and precious.  It just begs for a tiny cappucino and tea with the Queen, so in case y’all having snacks later, you’re already halfway there.  And that’s called effort without any effort.  Life = succeeded, so pajamas for everyone!

More macros, in case convincing is in order:

Done.  Bye bye paycheck.

The round up:

These two polishes release Sunday, April 30 at 9am EST in the Girly Bits shop.  In addition to these two, you will also find the Midnight Masquerade and Flower Gathering collection, so if you’re Canadian or International, this is the cheapest option for you.  Throw em all in the cart!  It’s the most logical next step.

If you’d like to check out my previous reviews for the other collections, here they are for easy clickin:

Midnight Masquerade

Flower Gathering

I feel like doing some over-explaining cuz I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy that.  But in case you’re the type who likes explicit instruction, well then this right here is for you:

All international (non-U.S.) customers who needs a Blush fix will find everything they need from 

All U.S. customers who want the Girly Bits exclusives will need to shop at as well.  However if you want any other Blush polish, the most economical in terms of shipping is to purchase from the Blush Etsy store by clicking here.

Some other links to click on, while you’re in the mood:

Blush Lacquers Instagram – click here

Girly Bits Instagram – click here

My Instagram – click here

A basketful of kitties – click here, just because

That’s it guys.  You made it to the end.  Thank you so much for reading all the way to the bottom.  As always, your company is appreciated; otherwise, if it wasn’t for you, I’m just a girl in here talking to herself and I’m pretty sure that’s how crazy starts.

Later, loves!


Anchor & Heart Lacquer: The Maine Squeeze Collection + Polish Con Limited Editions


After all the horn tooting the other day, I failed to post a blog last night and now the failure of that moment is almost too much to bear.  Is that what we can expect now from your BEST BLOGGER EVER?  Throwing out kudos and accolades and high fives in all directions, then snatching it all back in a NO SOUP FOR YOU! kind of way?

In my defense, I got paper towel fuzz in my wet nails and 2.5 seconds later, there was a dark hole and WE WERE IN IT.  I mean, there was chaos and it was everywhere.  Paper towel fuzz, then cat hair, now Dorito crumbs.  Universe, whyyyyyyy?!?!  My little mini swatch party took eons with light years and eternities on top, then it was 2 a.m. and WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?

18,000 desk naps later, and here I am blogging like a dadgum professional.

Taryn with Anchor & Heart Lacquer sent me some real beauties to review for you today.  I have the two Polish Con limited editions plus the new Maine Squeeze collection, and OMG you guys.  If there was ever a time to hoard all the polish, now sounds about right.  Get off your no-buys ladies, cuz this is a legit justified situation in progress.

First things first, the Polish Con limited edition duo.  Ready to fall in love super hardcore?  Well then lesss go!


First up is Hello, Brooklyn:

This is a raspberry pink with scattered holo, green micro flakies and green to gold iridescent micro glitters.  I love this shade of pink, man.  While pastels are all fine and good, nothing makes me look more tan and less unattractive than a nice medium pink shade.  Pretty little sausages in just two coats.

And now, a macro:

The other half of this duo is Anchor & Heart in the City:

This one has an aqua blue creme base with gold shimmer and flashes of purple and green sparks.  It’s so dreamy!  When I think of spring, it’s colors like this that quickly come to mind.  And you’re gonna want it, just so you know.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

An ocean of lovely:

This duo releases at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, and any leftovers will be offered in the Anchor & Heart store on May 1.  Price for each is $10, but there is special tiered pricing if you’re picking these up at Polish Con.  Deets at the bottom!

The other new release is The Maine Squeeze collection:

Seriously, it just got stupid in here.  What are words?  What is breathing?  What is not having your tongue loll about outside your body?  I swear my brain has just up and gone somewhere.  This shimmery rainbow has got me all sorts of drool-y.  Time to lock myself in my bedroom cuz Ugly Ecstasy Face causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

First up is Lobster Roll:

This one is a peach leaning pink creme with red shimmer.  Appears more orange-ish in artificial light (above); more pink-ish outdoors (or under lamps like below).  But regardless, we love it so much.  Peach, pink, french fry, potato:  it’s all good either way.

I kinda wanna lick this one:

Except SOCIETY says no. Society is zero fun sometimes.

Next up is Portland Sunrise:

This one is an pale orange creme with a delicious red shimmer. Such a unique combo, I think.  The shimmer is subtle on the nail but when it hits the light, she glows so pretty.  Totally worth lugging around your LED lamp with you everywhere, cuz completely normal behavior is a thing for other people. 

Moan-y mouth noises are about to come out, I just know it:

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.  See?

Now here’s Blackberry Lemonade:

This one is a medium yellow creme with lavender shimmer. At first glance, I thought this one had a red shimmer, but these photos prove otherwise.  Most likely I was swatching it with one eye closed, cuz naps just happen sometimes.  

It was hard to get a macro of such a light color, so here’s the best shot out of 2783:

I mean, not terrible but if no award is coming, I’m not surprised.

Now we have Island Pines:

This one is a mossy light green creme with pink to green shifting shimmer.  Right about this point is where I fell apart.  Drool buckets, everywhere. Cuz you can’t have a green in here like this and expect me to act like everything is fine.  EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE.  I’m trying to stay a lady, but the sweating is so dire. 

It’s super pass-out-y in here now.  Send help.


Next up is Beaches, Beaches:

This one is an azure blue creme with strong copper/orange shimmer, and basically all my blue lovers just died a little bit.  Is this not spectacular?!  Check her out under the lamps:

There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without 27 back-up bottles of this one.  Cuz rational thinking:  OUT THE WINDOW.

More macro, more drool:

How you’re turning away from all this now is beyond all the comprehensions.  Perhaps you have no eyes.  A black soul, maybe.  I dunno.

Lastly, here’s Wicked Good Blueberries:

This one is a lavender purple creme with blue to purple shifting shimmer.  And naturally, we’d end with a big ole exclamation point.  The perfect cap to a perfect collection.  It’s happiness with a Starbucks and a Leonardo on top, and what more could you ask for, really?  Except for a basketful of kitties, NOT MUCH.

Macro to seal the deal:

In the cart they go!

The Maine Squeeze collection is currently on preorder in the Anchor & Heart store until April 29 at 10pm EST.  So basically, this is a POLISH EMERGENCY!  If you’re not able to snag these at Polish Con, you have just one day to get your life together.  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.

During the online preorder, this set retails for $55 or you can get a single bottle for $10.  If you do miss the preorder, Taryn will be restocking these at some point later in May.  So keep watch!


To make it easy (cuz MATH; booooo), Taryn is offering a special tiered pricing for Polish Con goers.  One bottle is $10, three bottles is $28 and six bottles is $52.

Also, there’s mystery grab bags!   These could include box exclusives, Sunken Treasures, and/or polishes from previous collections.  Cost is $10 for two full size polishes or $5 for two minis. Whyyyyyyy, that’s practically free!  And we love free things; oh yes we do.

And don’t forget, the two Polish Con limited editions will be available online on May 1 if they don’t sell out.  Click here for shopping if so!

That’s it for today, but don’t worry – I’ll be back in a few hours posting another blog to make up for whatever the hell happened last night.  Insanity.  Ridiculousness.  A most inappropriate situation, at the minimum.  So stay tuned.  A lot of effort is on its way and you don’t wanna miss it.

Later, loves!


Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Polish Con Limited Editions


Three Polish Con blogs, three days straight, and you’d think I negotiated some sort of world peace treaty with as much excitement, high fiving and general horn tooting that is happening over here.  Seriously, I’m impressing even myself considering how much effort I exude on a day to day basis.  I mean, if my office chair didn’t have wheels on it, I have no idea how I’d get over to the copy machine.  Or to the donuts on top of the file cabinet.  Ugh.  It’s a dire situation, the day they take the wheels away.

So yeah, look at me being all overachieve-y.  Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, and now THIS.  How I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio at this point is beyond all the comprehensions.

More polish today!  This time, our friend Dave from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has come out with a trio of shades to debut at Polish Con this weekend and every single one of them is down below.  Bye bye checkbook and all pretenses of ladylike composure, cuz it’s about to get super elbow jabby in about 2.5 seconds.  GIMME.


Told ya.  Want, want and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

First up is Blue York:

This one is a deliciously smooth blue jelly base filled with linear holo and lots of pink iridescent shimmer.  It’s such a pretty shade; it requires extra supervision in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.  Hubby loves being married to me, I just know it.


OMG.  Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

Guess who’s buying a bottle of this plus 27 back up bottles?  Cuz this is no time to be rational, that’s why.

Next up is The Pleasure Principal:

This one is a plum based multichrome that shifts from purple to blue to teal with a touch of orange on the edges.  And honestly, I can’t even think of proper words to describe my feelings for this beauty.  Words have left me, and now only moan-y throat noises will suffice.

Can’t stop, won’t stop:

Under the lamps, cuz I had to.  Clearly:

Sealed the deal, didn’t I?  Just try leaving this blog without tossing this one in the basket.  It’s nigh on impossible.  Unless you don’t like happiness.  Or have no eyes.  I dunno.

Two more macros, a thousand more buckets of drool:

Lastly, here’s MoMA Said Knock You Out:

This one is a bleached pastel mint crème with hidden purple flakies.  In fact, they are so hidden I almost didn’t see them unti I got up extra close.  And for a light colored creme, this had a nice, fluid formula.  I did three thin coats with zero streaks.  Self-leveled like a dadgum champion.  Basically a dreamboat in a bottle.  With ecstasy and a Starbucks on top.

An ultra lame macro:

Sometimes macro-ing cremes makes not a lick of sense.  Although you can see those flakies, so I suppose there’s that.  BEST BLOGGER EVER, in case you’re curious.

All of these shades will be available at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, April 29, so if you’re headed that way, then I only hate you a tiny bit.  For the rest of us sad souls who live nowhere near anything this exciting, you can pick up these beauties during the online restock.  Here’s the deets:

Blue York and MoMA Said Knock You Out – retail price is $11 at Polish Con or $12 during the restock

The Pleasure Principal – retail price is $12 at Polish Con or $13 during the restock

Restock dates are May 5 at 11am EST through May 7 at 12pm EST.  MoMA and Blue York will be available as a pre-order, but The Pleasure Principal is a 70 bottle batch only.  So POLISH EMERGENCY! is what I’m saying.

Click here to order!  And now … PAJAMAS.  Enjoy the rest of your day!

Later, loves!


Cupcake Polish: Special Effects Toppers + Delishious Nails Collaboration Polish


Wasn’t I just in here blogging?  I swear I was.

GUYS.  It’s still Polish Con week and I’m desperately trying to be a proper nail blogger and do things on time and whatnot.  And because this time crunch is legit no joke, I can’t even ramble on like I tend to do.  How sad are you right now?  (Very.)

Hope you’ll enjoy the blog despite all that.  I mean, there’s still polish and that’s the whole reason I’m in here talking to myself on a daily basis anyway.  After the chaos of this week,  I’ll be back to making not a lick of sense like normal.  But admit it:  you’re gonna miss me.

Let’s dive in!  First time on the blog y’all and I feel like a fancy lady!  Sara with Cupcake Polish sent me a bunch of goodies to review for you today.  A whoooooole lot of pretty is 2.5 seconds away.


This is their Special Effect Toppers collection, a set of six toppers designed to be layered over other polishes to completely transform your mani.  There’s so many fun things you can do with these, so naturally I went basic and applied over black.  I’m not good at nails, let’s just say.  Cuz last time I tried to make something cool, I ended up with a meth owl and scared all the babies.  Oopsie.

First up is Lemon Icing:

This one is a yellow tinted holographic topper.  Only one coat over black.  Things are starting out well.

Under the lamps, it gets insane:

Someone bring me the smelling salts.  It’s getting super pass-out-y in here.

Some nail art I did:

Meh.  It’s okay.  I was trying to be clever by doing yellow stamping on the yellow one.  And while I’ve certainly done worse (you’ve read this blog before, right?), no one is handing me an award or anything.

Used the new Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate, which is full of mix n match geometric designs.  All good for a person who has an eye for such things.  But throw a bit of OCD in there, and too much mix n matchy means a whole tube of hives cream, at the minimum.  In other words, an incident is coming on, I just know it.

Next up is Sprinkles:

This is a scattered silver holographic glitter topper.  Look how much bling you get with one layer!  Party nails just like that.  Or napping nails, if you’re me.

Don’t look at this one:

I don’t even know what happened.  I used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate and accidentally made carpet from a roller rink in 1985.  Blah.

Now here’s Strawberry Icing:

This one is a pink tinted holographic topper, once again layered over black.  I also did two coats on my naked thumb and it covered really well and made a lovely pastel pink holographic.

Then I didn’t take a picture for you cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels? I hear angels. 

Mojo = DEAD:

Here it is: the INCIDENT.  This is what happens when you don’t think things through first.  Someone needs to come take my stamping plates away.

Just kidding!  I will cut you.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate again in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

Next up is Icing:

This one is a silver holographic topper, a nice dense version for good coverage. One layer. Over black. You know the drill by now. 

Under the lamps:

Dreamy! You’re buying one bottle of this one plus 27 back-up bottles cuz you do CRAZY NAIL LADY like a dadgum champion. 

Not-hideous nail art, for once:

I mean, it’ll do. I’ll take this brief moment of mojo and revel in it. 

Used the new Lina Mad for Mandalas in case recreations are in order.  And kudos and accolades, you know, if y’all not busy. 

Here’s Bubblegum Icing:

This one is a cyan blue tinted holographic topper. It’s soooo pretty! I’d lick it if it wasn’t so poison-y. 

Under the lamps:

An ocean of lovely. I see a billion mermaid manis just waiting to happen. 

So, of course I did chevrons:

Okay, not gonna lie. This one’s pretty awesome.  Quick! Someone get me my horn so I can toot it. 

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for the shapes and the Make Your Mark 04 plate for the splatter background. Added matte top coat, dropped the mic and straight up left the room. 

Lastly, this is Frosting:

This one is an iridescent opal glitter topper, and seriously guys. If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets by this point, you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive right about now. Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing. 

Nail art, no jazz hands:

Well, that didn’t last long now did it?  Bye bye mojo. 

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Op Art Magic plate and made a most unfortunate decision. Plate is great until I get my grabby hands on it. I’m like that person who continually does things they shouldn’t. Like putting food in my mouth without looking at it first, then spending the next 197 hours waiting for death.

Someone needs to come save me from me. 

The round up:

These all release early at Polish Con in New York City this Saturday, April 29, but for all us sad souls who live in the middle of nowhere exciting, we can snag these beauties online on May 6 at 2pm CST.

Toppers are $9 each and can be purchased at – or by clicking here, cuz who’s game for some unnecessary typing?  NOT ME.

The other new release is a collaboration shade with blogger Alicia with Delishious Nails called Delishiously Jaded. May is Alicia’s birthday month and emerald green is her birthstone, and I swear I’ve never been so happy.  Take a look at this ridiculousness:


This one is a green linear holographic with scattered holo microglitters and a green to blue shifting shimmer.  Opaque in two of the most delicious coats of your life. That is not a typo. 

Under the lamps:

Sara, what are you doing to me?  Cuz I do not look good with my tongue lolling about outside my body. It causes divorce if I’m not mistaken. 

I swear, what is wrong with me:

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate one last time, and naturally I’m just sticking things on all willy nilly. Cuz my brain done went somewhere, that’s why.

I mean, I guess I don’t hate it, but WHAT IS IT?! is the actual question. 

This polish also releases early at Polish Con on 4/29 but will return online for a limited time on May 6 at 2pm thru May 31 at 11:59pm CST.  Which means POLISH EMERGENCY! so make sure you arrange your life accordingly.

Price is $13 and available in the same place by clicking here.

That’s it, gang!  We survived another blogging day.  Only a slight carpal tunnel-type situation over here, no big deal.  Getting in pajamas now cuz staying sexy is var var hard work.

OMG, what?!  Shut up, brain.

Later, loves!


Pretty & Polished: Babes of Broadway + Summer 2017 Collection 


OMG, guys. It’s Polish Con week and I have 7297 blogs to write.  It’s straight up serious business now with ZERO time to be clever.  In fact, you’re about to witness the most boring me you’ve ever seen.  Saw.  You ever saw.  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.

But yeah, super boring.  Kinda the real me, actually.  I mean, if there’s ever a story in here that involves effort, wearing pants of a non-pajama-type situation or drinking more than one wine cooler in a three hour period, there’s a chance you’re reading someone else’s blog. Or I’ve been kidnapped, cuz that scenario is far more likely.

You know it’s bad when you’re picking up things with your feet cuz bending over is a decision you’re not quite ready to commit to yet.  You don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by going the extra mile, let’s just say.  And honestly, I’ve pretty much earned a bonus round at this point anyway, which is a nice little prize considering I won a case of toilet paper in a work raffle once and that’s legit no joke not as exciting as you’d expect.  

Gah! I’m about to get chatty and start wasting time, so let’s just get to the polish.  I have a ton of beauties from Pretty & Polished to show you today. All of it will be releasing at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, so if you’re headed that way, be sure to add these beauties to your shopping list. DO IT. I’m serious. 


First up is the Polish Con limited edition collection, a 4-piece set called Babes of Broadway. Take a look:

This collection is inspired by four of Chelsea’s favorite female Broadway stars and characters.  They’re sparkly and fun and headed for your shopping cart!  Y’all got your drool buckets handy?  Well, then lesssss go!

Here is Dolly:

This one has a spectacular chrome red base and loaded with scattered holographic glitter.  Pulls a bit pink, but oh my goodness, IT. IS. DELICIOUS.  It is a perfect representation of Bette Midler (Chelsea’s personal all time favorite); it is loud and eclectic just like her.  Two of the most fabulous coats of your life, if you’re curious.

Feeling super pass-out-y cuz THIS:

How we’ll make it to the end of this blog, I’ll never know.  It’s hard to keep writing when you’re dying every 18 seconds.

Next up is Fanny:

This one is a gorgeous medium purple with scattered holographic glitters and loaded with neon purple and gold flakes.  It is inspired by the character Fanny Brice played by the amazing and talented Barbra Streisand.  Such a fabulous mix!  All you purple lovers, your name is written alllllll over this one!

An insane display of pretty:

Still upright?  Nope, me neither.  

Here’s Jo:

My favorite of the bunch!  It’s a coppery gold base (dead) with red glitters and flakes (more dead), and the grabby fingers is a dire situation right about now.  Gimme.

This one is inspired by the character Jo from the play Little Women.  Jo is a simple girl with an adventurous spirit, so Chelsea made this polish simple and glamorous just like her.  NAILED IT, is what you’re thinking.

Lastly, this is Elphaba:

This one is a black to green thermal polish, shown here first in its green (warm) state.  See all that color shifting flakie business?  Yep, all over my body in 2.5 seconds.  Except SOCIETY says no.

Based off of the Wicked character Elphaba, I can’t think of any better representation than this thermal right here.

Here’s a transition shot between warm and cool:

And after 18 hours in a cup of ice water, you get this color:

That’s an exaggeration, but only slight.  Photographing thermals is not my best talent.  Ice water, towel, light box, repeat.  And 9756 pictures and an entire tube of hives cream later, here’s just four that’ll suffice but barely.  Blah.

An assortment of macros:

Seriously, is there a Starbucks coming, cuz after all this effort, a reward (plus kudos and accolades) is the next most logical step.

Next up is the Summer 2017 Collection, a set of six polishes that features an array of finishes and colors.  Who’s ready to get suuuuuuper unattactive and drool-y?  (You, to be clear.)  Here we go:

First up is Bloomerang:

This one is a medium purple crelly packed with varying sizes and shapes of blue, purple and pink glitter.  It is the most adorable thing!  Fun glitter mixes like this get me every time.  I’m trying to keep it under control over here, but my brain’s about to go somewhere, I just know it.

Lolling tongues, up ahead:

Two coats regular, one coat dabbed.  Two layers of top coat cuz all that glitter is legit.  

Next up is It’s Not All Black & White:

This one is a creamy white crelly packed with golden flakies and black hex glitters.  I absolutely love this shade!  Normally I’m not one for neutrals, but there’s just something about this one that has me reattaching my jaw to my face about 18000 times at the minimum.  A perfect two coat formula too.  I die!

Some serious feels:

Now here’s Caught in Your Sea:

Bling bling!  Who’s in love?!

This one has a medium blue holographic base packed with scattered holographic glitters.  Another two coat dreamboat; perfect for those who don’t have 27 hours to spend on nails.  Although WHY DON’T YOU?! is the actual question.

This is Rainbow Road:

Another surprise favorite!  Cuz it’s not just silver at first glance.  Noooooo, there’s color shifting rainbow flakies and voodoo and magic in there, and if you’re somehow walking away from this polish right now, I am var var concerned about your brain.  In the cart she goes!  Cuz her’s a pretty lady, that’s why.

Next up is Star Gazer:

This one has a deep blackened purple multichrome holographic base crammed full of color shifting micro flakies.  So naturally my camera did NOT do this one justice whatsoever.  Like, it straight up shrugged its shoulders and walked away.  LAME.

However, this macro is much better.  This is what the polish looks like in real life, especially when the light catches it.  It’s gorgeous, it’s stunning, it’s a driving hazard to the trillionth degree.  I left this one on my swatch hand for two days while on my anniversary trip cuz it physically pained me to remove it.  I mean, I tried and everything but hurting yourself is hard.  Cuz if there’s one person who’s gonna get a nervous, sweaty belly button during an attempt to pierce it, of course it’d be me.  I don’t sweat like a lady, let’s just say.

Lastly, here’s Floralescent:

This one is a light pink (warm) to bright pink (cool) thermal that is probably the prettiest I’ve ever seen.  It’s so girly and sweet; the colors in transition remind me of rose petals.  YOU GUYS.  If you love thermals, here’s your new favorite. And there’s gold and pink flakes for extra drool factor.  Perfection is what it is.

Top photo shows the polish in its warm state.  Below is the transition between warm and cool:

Now here it is completely cool:

You can really see those flakies when the base is darker.  So so lovely.  There may be some random hand modeling scenarios later with this one.  Cuz running your fingers languidly over toasters and clock radios just happens sometimes whether you like it or not.

More macros to seal the deal:

Yep, you’re about to spend some money, I already know.

The round up:

As previously mentioned, the Babes of Brooklyn collection launches at Polish Con in New York on April 29. Each polish will sell for $9 or the entire collection for $35. If there are any leftovers, they will be sold through the Facebook fan group, so be sure to join up! Click here cuz you make good decisions.

The Summer 2017 collection will debut early for Polish Con but it’s official online release will be on May 5.  Price for each bottle is $8.50 except for Floralescent and Star Gazer which will be $9. Only one batch of this collection will be made, so be sure to come early.  Set 17 alarms cuz why be normal at a time like this?  Click here for shopping!

Also, I have a discount code as your prize for reading this all the way to the bottom. Use dianna15 to get 15% off your order!

Okay, gang. One post down, an eternity’s worth left to go!  What’re you doing for the rest of your life?  Reading this blog; buying groceries from time to time, perhaps?  Cuz we’s best friends, that’s why.

Later, loves!


Blush Lacquers: Polish Con Limited Edition Duo


Back to the scene of the crime: Eureka Springs, Arkansas. One of my most favorite places in the entire world and where hubby and I got married four years ago. A town ran by hippies and full of all the tye dye you could ever want. A town where sometimes there’s pancakes but sometimes there’s not. A town where you can go in a store that just sells socks and come out with $400 worth cuz YOU’RE ON VACATION and suddenly socks with horses on them just make sense.

We came up here this weekend to celebrate our anniversary, which we’ve done almost every year since our wedding. It never gets old. We always try to do different things each time we come, although we usually end up in the fudge shop at least 97.947594% of the time.

Last night, we went on a ghost tour inside the Crescent Hotel, one of the most haunted hotels in America.  I seriously don’t know why I put myself through such torture. I mean, putting on a maxi pad in case of accidental peeing is probably not a normal thing to do.  But there I am anyway, getting my photo taken in the meat locker where they kept the dead bodies, acting like EVERYTHING IS FINE, except for all the sweating and general unattractiveness.

Tonight is our last night here, and the only thing propelling me home is the video alert from our surveillance camera showing my mother carrying 7 packages of swatch mail into my house.  Cuz even though Sundays are zero fun whatsoever due to its unfortunate proximity to Monday, the lure of nail polish gets me each and every time.

Speaking of nail polish, I have two beauties from Blush Lacquers to share with you today. Polish Con in NYC is coming up in one week, and Victoria has made this awesome limited edition duo just for the event. If y’all headed that way, then VAR VAR GOOD DAY doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. Take a look!


No words, just moan-y throat noises coming out.  Seriously, Victoria’s polishes give me a dire case of Ugly Ecstasy Face. Wedding anniversary number 5 is on the line here, I’m afraid. 

The inspiration for the duo is this awesome graffiti:

Basically NAILED IT.  I see this and immediately orange and blue are the two most logical choices. Victoria is one smart lady, that’s why.

First up is I ❤️:

This one has a coral base with pink micro flakie shimmer and delicate linear holo. It’s so stunning, guys!  The color is so bright, almost neon really. And application is sooooo smooth, it’s almost a Polish Mountain-type situation except I give up after just two coats cuz I’m not very good at goals. 

An undeniably amazing macro:

Told ya. This polish is legit no joke beautiful. 

The other half of the duo is Brooklyn:

This one has a blurple base with blue micro flakie shimmer and delicate linear holo. On me I felt it was more blue than blurple but blue, blurple, potatoes, french fries. Either way, it’s all good.

Another best macro ever. Cuz I’m sooooo good at blogging!

This one takes my breath away, seriously. Glowy blues have me drooling in a thousand buckets, at the minimum. 

The round up:

For all you lucky people heading to Polish Con this coming Saturday, first of all, I only hate you a tiny bit. But also, make sure you add these two beauties to your shopping list.  DO IT.  I mean it. 

Price is $9.25 each or $17.50 for the duo. Plus some tax, possibly.  Available at Polish Con in NYC on April 29, and if there’s any leftovers (Baby Jesus, are you listening?), Victoria will add them to her shop so everyone who lives in the middle of nowhere exciting can get their grabby fingers on them.  Click here and keep watch.

Headed to bed now. Gotta get up early for breakfast cuz apparently if it gets too busy, the kitchen decides to stop making pancakes just because they feel like it. I don’t know what kind of business practice that is, but who am I to argue? I give up right in the middle of stuff all the time. You don’t end up with 97 crocheted scarves the size of potholders by seeing things to end. Lazy, level EXPERT, is what I mean.  

Later, loves!