That moment when you thought you were being sexy, but your husband laughs cuz he thought you were being funny, and now you have to reasses your entire relationship because suddenly THINGS HAVE CHANGED.  I mean, I know I was wearing the robe and all, but also I had no pants on, and if that isn’t a walking (well, lounging, napping) pile of sex, I don’t know what is.

I’m awkward, clearly.  No science was involved in this assessment, which surprises NO ONE.  Unless you’re into uncomfortable silences or wallflower-type scenarios at parties (or no parties at all, actually), I may not be the friend for you.  I give high fives at inappropriate times, like when someone is making eye contact for too long and stupid words start to come out, such as telling your intimidating male boss you like tube-like packages when you meant actual tube-like packages (such as poster mailers, ya know?) instead of what it really sounded like.  High five!  Gotta go!

I have a hard time being anything but quiet and serious out in public because social situations are hard for me.  I do not walk confidently and command attention.  No, I’m the one who eats Gardetto’s in a quiet room full of people, and then try to pretend it wasn’t me.  It’s nigh on impossible; they know it’s me cuz it’s always and forever me.  If there’s going to be one weird one out of the bunch, I’ve been nominated whether I like it or not.

So my advice for all those self-conscious little girls out there who want to grow up popular:  more sports, less spelling.  Bahaha.  Just kidding.  (Kind of.)

While you feel normal in comparison, let’s talk about polish!   Blush Lacquers has no official collection this month, but there are still some new releases to discuss.  Two of them are urgent, so you’ll want to clear your schedule for the rest of the day.  Priorities and whatnot.  Blush Lacquers up top, people!  Lessss go …

First up is the new matte top coat called Matterial Girl:

I’ve been getting into matte top coats lately, and have used several that I really like.  Blush’s version is a mid-range matte that leaves this unbelievable satiny finish.  I love it because it’s not completely matte where it shuts all the lights off and makes the polish appear one-dimensional. NOT ONE BIT.  Instead, you get this gorgeous glowy appearance with just enough light bouncing off the surface to transform your polish into an even better version of itself.  That’s a bunch of rocket science if you ask me, and who argues with science?  Crazy people.

In my swatch, I’ve layered the top coat over one of Blush’s older polishes, Laugh-Borghini, because it’s full of these gold flakies and purple shimmer I thought would look lovely in a matte state.  And clearly, I was right.  Here’s proof:

See that glow?  SCIENCE in action.

The cost on this matte top coat is a mere $7.35, which is practically free so completely justified.  It’s also available right now and probably for all of eternity, so how lucky are we right now?  (Very.)  To purchase, click here.

Also, if you like Laugh-Borghini, it’s still available although at very limited quantities.  Not saying it’s an emergency or anything, but it’s probably an emergency.  To purchase, click here.  It’s part of a quad, so you have to select the color you want in the drop down menu, or you can just buy all four which I feel is the most logical choice.  Decision made!  Let’s move on.

Now it’s time to focus cuz this next part ain’t even funny.  Blush Lacquers has participated in two exclusive things this month, and they are literally going away forever by the end of this week.  Are you properly panicked?  You should be.

Let’s start with the submission for The Color Box:

The Color Box only comes around quarterly and focuses on a group-voted color each time.  This round is dedicated to the color blue and so this box is full of gorgeous exclusive blue polishes that there’s no way you won’t love.  Or if not, well then possibly you have no eyes. I dunno.

I was sent just Blush Lacquers’s contribution, Blue a Fuse, to review for you.  And it is everything I’d ever expect from Victoria.  It has a deep blue base and full of blue micro flakies, holo, holo flakies with a hint of black shreds.  Two of the dreamiest coats of your life (not a typo).  And not that you need a real reason to buy this collab box (cuz we buy polish all willy nilly most of the time), but this polish right here is a damn good one.  She’s a gorgeous little lady, 100 percent.

Serious macro business up ahead:

The Color Box is a collab among 5 different indie brands and 5 official bloggers.  To see the rest of the swatches of the other polishes included in the box, here’s some links to more blogs:

Bruised Up Dollie (this is Lo, who was paired up with Blush)

XOXO, Jen

Manna’s Manis

Imperfectly Painted

Polish Galore

In addition to Blush Lacquers, the box also contains polishes from Tonic Polish, Baroness X, Blue-Eyed Girl and Supermoon Lacquer.  It retails for $45+shipping and will only be available until March 17.  Click here to purchase the box.  Not tomorrow.  TODAY.  I mean it.

To get in on voting for a future Color Box, join their Facebook group by clicking here.

Lastly, here is Victoria’s submission for the Polish Con exclusive:

Since Polish Con will be held in New York City this round, Victoria has named this blue beauty Wonder Wheel, after the Coney Island ride of the same name.  It’s a sky blue base with pinkish-purple micro flakies, small gold flakies and holo flakies. Basically, flakies are everywhere. But we don’t argue cuz flakies make everything better. And prettier and skinnier, too, prolly.

In case you are interested in attending Polish Con, it’s happening April 29 and tickets can be purchased here.  If you’re already going, well look who’s fancy!, but also this polish will be there if you’re unable to get it now.  Although, why you’re not buying it right now this very second is the actual question.

I can’t stand how much I love this polish.  It is the ultimate spring blue, like one of those cloudless days you’ve been missing since approximately the previous spring.  It’s full of sparkle and so much happiness you’d swear Leonardo DiCaprio just handed you a Starbucks and a basket of kitties.  It’s just THAT perfect.  And you need it.  Legit no joke.

Here’s some macros in case you want to pass out for a second:

Gah, I just died a little.

Each week a new duo is revealed for Polish Con, so in addition to this one, Fleur de Lis has a polish too.  Check out the blogs from the official Polish Con swatchers for more pics and info:

XOXO, Jen

Delishious Nails

Cosmetic Sanctuary

Addicted to Polish

Each polish is $10+shipping and will be available just until March 18.  Click here to purchase, when again?  Roughly 2.5 seconds ago so what are you even doing right now with your life?  GO, is what I mean.  Because tomorrow, although technically not late, is still 24 hours behind schedule.  Duh.

Okay gang, that’s it for today.  You’ve got a lot of shopping to do, and in case you haven’t been taking notes, here’s the links once again, cuz why?  BEST BLOGGER EVER, that’s why.

Matte top coat – click here

The Color Box – click here

Polish Con Exclusive – click here

Later, loves!