Monthly Archives: January 2017

Noodles Nail Polish: Meteor’s Gift 

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OMG.  I just ate too much lunch and now I’m sitting here in public with the top button of my pants undone.  Although, I’d much rather have a no-pants type situation on my hands at the moment, but don’t really feel like getting arrested today.  Society’s no fun sometimes.

I didn’t mean to overeat.  But in my defense, 1) I was starving, and 2) that’s what happens when you eat yogurt for breakfast instead of biscuits and gravy.  You have a lunchtime retaliation of sorts.  And now I’m sitting here, miserable and guilty and with fat hanging out.  Ugh.  I’m like Joey with the meat sweats.  I need to go home and lay down and be gross in private.

So while I figure out a way to get comfortable, let’s look at something pretty.  I received this stunning glitter explosion from Noodles Nail Polish to share with you.  Hold onto your britches, ladies, and get a good look at Meteor’s Gift:

Otherwise known as How to be Fancy in One Quick Step.  Did you just pass out a little?  Cuz I sure did.

Okay, some things about this polish.  It is an exclusive release from the Indie Polish Lovers United group on Facebook.  The only way to get it is by being a member of the group.  Which is fine, cuz you were just about to do that anyway.  And the Noodles group too right?  Cuz you’re good people.

There’s loads of stuff in here.  All glitter, all the time.  It was completely full coverage and opaque in two coats.  No gloop.  Perfection in every way.  But do we except anything less from Noodles Nail Polish?  NO. WE. DO. NOT.

Check out this macro: 

I love all that.  And guess what?  You’re buying it.  There’s no logical reason why not at this point.  As if someone just handed you a basket full of kittens, cuz that’s basically the same thing.

The round up:

Okay, here’s your to-do list:

1. Join the Indie Polish Lovers United group on Facebook – click here

2. Check out the pinned post for instructions on how to purchase.  There’s a code.  Write it down.

3. On the day of release (tomorrow February 1 at 6pm EST), go to the Noodles Nail Polish store – click here

4. Use the code to buy the polish

5. Wait impatiently

6. Stalk the mailman

7. Thank your blogger (I like gift cards and Starbucks.)

And that’s it.  You’re officially fancy, and it barely took any effort.  Which is my favorite kind of effort if you’re asking, although I’m certain none of you are surprised.  You read this blog right?

Right?

Right.

Later, loves!

 

Nailed It!: Conversation Hearts Collection 

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Benefit #1 of being married to a chef:

When you ask (politely but in all caps in case there’s a misunderstanding) WHY ISN’T THERE ANYTHING CAKE-Y IN THIS HOUSE?! and he gets up and goes make something cake-y.  He does that all the time, just whips up something like that out of stuff we have stashed in our cabinets.  Like, I don’t immediately think CAKE! when I see an unopened carton of Egg Nog leftover from the holidays.  My first thought is GROSS, but where I act like someone who just stepped on a slug in the kitchen at 1 in the morning, he sees opportunity.  Substitute Egg Nog for the butter or actual eggs or something along that line, and voila!  A cake is born.

Benefit #1 of being married to me:

Everything one day past the expiration date listed on the package has immediately turned to poison.  Like, the day of the expiration date, completely fine.  Next day, it will straight up kill you now.  Hubby has thrown out many things that he would, in his expert opinion, still use, but since he doesn’t want to be accused of murder,  he now just goes straight to the trash can.

I may have a skosh of the hypochondria.  I dunno.  I have a friend who got food poisoning from eating ham that his grandmother ate right before she died.  Sooooo … your grandma ate the ham and then she died?  A coincidence, you don’t think?  Honestly, I don’t know how the rest of the story went cuz I immediately got the hives and had to go lay down.  But seriously.  This is why I’m crazy.

I got off on a tangent.  My point is I have a husband who makes me cake.  Even my bad days are still pretty good.

Let’s talk polish!  I received the 4-piece Conversation Hearts collection from Nailed It! nail polish to review for you today.  It’s pink, purple and full of sparkle, so if you’re into all that, then today’s your lucky day.  See:

So blingy!  Who doesn’t love a massive dose of holo?  (Seriously, who?  Cuz we need to talk.)  It’s all your favorite Valentine’s colors, perfect for manis full of hearts, cupids, roses, black clouds, Darth Vader.  I mean, this is YOUR day.  Celebrate however.

First up is Let’s Kiss:

Okay, this one is precious.  Yes?  Yes.  I love a sweet little pink.  And it has just enough darkness in it to make my skin tone appear less see-thru, which is all I ever want out of a polish.  Well, except for gloop.  But gloop is a given.  No, we save gloop for people who like to make extra food noises with their mouths.  Or who use the word suckle in their everyday vocabulary.  Gloop is your punishment for being a bad person.

Macro time!

Then I did some nail art:

I kept it pretty simple, but I love that heart pattern. It’s on the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate if you’re curious. I’ve used this plate a ton lately.  For real, if you’re into hearts, flowers and romance, you probably lead a wayyyy more interesting life than me.  But also, this plate is perfect for you.

Next up is Be Mine:

Doh!  It’s purple!  It’s not an in your face purple, like PURPLE! with jazz hands but more just purple with like some sweatpants on.  But sweatpants from Victoria’s Secret, so it’s okay.

Look at all that glitter up close:

Okay, there might be a touch of jazz hands.

Here’s the nail art I did:

Meh.  I mean, it’s not terrible but I’m not gonna win any awards with it or anything.  Some of my hearts turned out a bit funky.  As hearts tend to do.  

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate (surprise!), and this red hot bombshell down below.

Here’s XOXO:

Ahhh, now.  We’re in love with this one aren’t we?  She’s red with a bit of pink, cute and flirty but also kinda bossy. She’s who you wish you were back in 5th grade when you tried out for cheerleading but refused to show school spirit, cuz duh, EMBARRASSING.  For real, it was all kinds of uncomfortable crickets in there.  Those judges … being so judgy.  It’s as if they knew there was a spelling bee nearby missing a 10-year-old.

Time for drooling!

Okay, pull it together.  Now scroll right past this:

Ugh.  What.  This looked so much cooler in my head.  This nail art = DO. NOT. RECOMMEND.

Last one is Me & You:

Erlack!  Holo much?  It’s like a base of holo with a bit of holo and a holo topper on top.  A holo EXTRAVAGANZA!

You need this, is what I’m saying.  Cuz anything this holographic practically begs for it.  It knows you’re looking, it sees your mouth hanging open all unattractive-like.  Put this one in your basket then, cuz lolling tongues are not a good look for anyone.

Had to show you this under the lamps:

Do you hear angels?  Prolly.

Not bad nail art:

The contract between that much bling and some pretty black lace stamping is almost too much to bear.  Someone bring me a chair, stat.  And Leonardo DiCaprio, just to be safe.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate this time.  Another favorite!

The round up:

Okay, gang.  You’re buying this collection, just so you know.  Here’s the deets:

Entire set $30

Single polish $8.50

Plus, the first 10 people to order all 4 pieces will receive a bottle of Bye Girl latex barrier for free.  Whyyyyy, we love free things!  (Oh yes we do.)

Annnnnnnddddd THEN!  I have a coupon code.  Use dianna15 for 15% off your order.  I know!  Who’s having the best day ever?

Click here to shop!

Alright, you’ve read to the bottom.  Internet high fives for you!  Thanks for hanging out as always.  Go buy yourself some pretties.  You deserve it.

Later, loves!

MDJ Creations: Robin Moses Inspired Collection 

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Things I am good at but probably shouldn’t be:

1. Being lazy .  I once pulled a muscle in my foot from stretching out on the couch with too much enthusiasm and had to be pushed around in a wheelchair at the zoo the next day.  How many people do you know who hurts themselves by laying down?  HOW MANY?  That’s right, just me.  EXPERT LEVEL isn’t even close to describing this scenario.

2. Embarrassing myself.  Try eating Gardettos in a quiet room full of people and see what happens.  You can’t even pretend it wasn’t you.

3. Looking up symptoms on the internet.  Your pee smell like Froot Loops?  Don’t worry, I’ll help you.  Your baby digging around in the cat box?  Well, that’s unfortunate!  But I’ll help you.  Headache won’t go away?  I’m not even wasting time on that one cuz we already know:  brain tumor, instantly.  Sometimes it’s not good to look up symptoms.  I should’ve died like 80 times already.

4. Checking locks before bed.  I see the lock with my eyes.  Brain registers the fact it’s clearly locked.  But just in case, let’s go ahead and touch the lock and go through the motions of locking cuz somehow that makes it even more locked – SUPER locked – and lord knows no sleep is happening unless the house is SUPER locked.  (Sooooo … I might have a medical condition.  Let’s look that up on the internet to confirm.)

Tell me, what secrets talents do you have?  Please leave me a comment and help me feel normal.  I can’t be the only weirdo in this blog.

Time for nail polish!  Melissa from MDJ Creations sent me her 7-piece Robin Moses Inspired collection to review for you today.  You like pretty things?  You like sparkle?  Well then today is your lucky day.  Look:

Mercy.

So this collection is a collaboration with Robin Moses, who is a popular nail artist and YouTuber.  Each polish was named after one of the clients she features each week, plus an extra named after herself, cuz duh, QUEEN.  The entire collection has loads of bling, and any one of them would be perfect for a night out.  Or for laying on your couch this side of comatose, cuz that’s what I did.

First up is Mammie:

Ooooooh!  Can you even?  NO. YOU. CANNOT.  This is my favorite kind of pink.  Not princess pink, but still sweet.  Like a school girl wearing frilly bloomers under her uniform.  A bit rebellious.  A bit like me.

Just kidding.  I read books and won spelling bees. I literally ran away from a pot cigarette when I was 19 cuz I was scared of it.  In other words, fun at parties.  Weeee!

Time for drooling!

Next up is Evil Client:

Someone’s sexy!  Red polish with glitters in it?  DONE.  This is the way I prefer my reds.  I mean, red crèmes are fine and all, but throw a bunch of glitter in the batch, and I’m sticking my fingers in everyone’s faces.  Look at mah nails!  LOOK AT THEM.  Do it.

More drool!

Now here’s Robin, Hail to the NAW:

This is the polish that’s named after Robin Moses, Nail Art Wizard.  I can see why she picked the purple one.  It’s spectacular!  Check her out under the lamps:

Doh!  I KNOW.  We’re all gonna go pass out real quick. BRB.

Now focus.  It’s macro time:

Next up is Guru:

There’s a whole lot of fancy going on in this one!  Bling bling!  I see pink, blue, green, purple, gold.  All the colors.  And despite all that, it was surprisingly easy to apply.  Two simple coats.  No gloop!  Hooray!

Normal people would put this one on and then go do some stuff.  It’s the perfect date night polish.  I, on the other hand, will go nowhere.  I’ll just sit here on this couch, hand modeling with remote controls and potato chips.  Maybe sip on the same wine cooler for about three hours.

Told you I was fun at parties.

Okay, that one was nuts.  Gettin’ all braggy with its sparkle.

Now here’s Compassionista:

All you blue lovers just died.  Isn’t she gorgeous?  I’m about to lose all the words.  Getting woozy.  Brain’s stopped holding my mouth closed.  I gotta pull it together before my husband comes in here and divorces me.  Cuz lolling tongues are not attractive.  

Squeeeee!  A macro!

This is Juicy Client:

Another one for the blues!  It’s the innocent side of blue, the “me in 7th grade” blue.  The blue that played dress up with imaginary babies until she turned 12 years old, blue.  The blue that fell asleep first at slumber parties, blue.  The blue that had a 50/50 chance on who wears the condom and got it WRONG, blue.

In other words, you’ll love this blue.  She’s pretty precious.

A dainty little macro:

Last one!  Here’s Nameless Client:

Y’all know I’m an official puddle of goo right now.  It’s the love of my life, my happiness in a bottle.  It’s GREEN.  Lovely, beautiful, darling green.  Good thing I saved this one to the end cuz I’m literally sitting here with my eyes closed, smiling.  I’ve turned into an idiot, clearly.

Last macro.  Let’s end this thing RIGHT.

Sigh.

The round up:

I love every single one of these.  You gotta get this collection.  Seriously.  I mean it. (Cuz I am the boss of you.)

Click here to order.  They released today and ready to go!  And what better way to start out the weekend than buying a little treat for yourself?  Well, maybe Leonardo handing you a cocktail and Funyuns.  But after that, not much!

One word of caution:  Melissa’s stuff sells fast.  As of this writing, we’re all good.  By the time you’re reading this, it’s a crap shoot.  So if you want one, you should go immediately.  It’s kinda an emergency.

Some other links to click on:

Robin Moses Nail Art YouTube channel:  click here

Robin Moses Nail Art Instagram:  click here for instructions on how to win the entire collection plus a set of Robin’s nail art brushes. Winner will be announced February 14!

MDJ Creations Instagram:  click here

My Instagram:  click here

A basket full of kittens:  click here, just because

Happy Friday everyone!  I’m about 2.5 seconds away from pajamas.

Later, loves!

Anchor & Heart Lacquer: Messages in a Bottle – January and February 

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The year was 2005, the year of the chunky black shoe.  My daughter, just under 12 years old, was still willing to hug me with both arms, so clearly it a magical time.  It was summer – or maybe spring – and the world was full of green.  And happiness.  Lots and lots of happiness.

But then there was that dadgum trampoline.  Oh yes, all your childhood dreams are coming true.  Visions of flying, carefree and laughing, fill your mind.  Warm nights, laying outside on the cool mesh, staring up at the sky, counting stars.  Sounds dreamy, right?

Ugh.  Not even close.  Unless you’re totally fine with peeing your pants a little, I recommend bypassing the trampoline altogether.

However, what I’m really trying to say is, don’t jump on a trampoline with chunky black shoes on.  Cuz I did that.  And it hurt. A LOT.  I would’ve peed my pants all day long instead if I was given a choice.  Not only that, but the humiliation of having your husband shave just one of your legs so you could go to the hospital for an X-Ray, is too much to bear at times.  Of course, I am quite proud to note that amidst my suffering, I still had my wits about me to be a proper lady.  Again, only one leg, but still.  The fact that me and my husband at that time are now divorced is beside the point.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I got on a trampoline again for the first time in 12 years.  My granddaughter had left her headband outside and I went to retrieve it, and it was supposed to be an in and out real quick kinda thing.  But something took over me (as somethings are wont to do), and I bounced up and down for about 7.2 seconds.  Then naturally, because this is MY life we are talking about, I tweaked my foot as I landed a little off center.  And then as I was crawling out of the safety net, someone had replaced my normal legs with baby deer ones, cuz I swear I was 90 years old trying to get off that thing.  I don’t know if the universe is trying to tell me something (i.e., you’re old, you’re out of shape, stop eating potato chips), but I think I’ll just stick with my constant pajamas plan instead.

So get comfy with me and let’s look at pretty things.  I have two new polishes from Anchor & Heart Lacquer to share with you today.  And I had a nerdy font fest.  Ta da!

With jazz hands, of course.

This year, Taryn is doing a series of 12 polishes called Messages in a Bottle.  Each month will be a new shade, each promoting an empowering message in its name.  And you know what?  I think that’s freakin’ fabulous.  Every single one of us needs to hear something kind and uplifting, and if it comes in the form of a brand new nail polish, well what more justification do you need?  Get off your no-buys, ladies!  These are well worth your pennies.

First up for January is You’ve Got This:

Y’all know I’m not one for nude polishes cuz it makes me look pale and vitamin deficient, but this one … I mean, THIS ONE.  It’s got an extra special something that I absolutely love.  Like those flakies.  Gah!  Flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier, too, probably.

So this one is a pink-tone nude polish with orange/lilac/blue shifting shimmer, pink holo micro glitter and violet/pink/gold shifting flakies.  It’s a neutral, but all dressed up for a party.  I did two coats here, but some might need three for full opacity.  Or you might need three cuz it literally takes superhuman strength to stop polishing with it.  

Macros to drool over:

Okay now that one was ridiculous.  Did you see all that stuff in there?  Why this polish doesn’t cost like a billion dollars, I have no idea.

I made nail art:

I hope you can tell that is a rose pattern, but regardless, isn’t it so precious?  I chose this wine colored stamping polish that complimented those flakies just perfectly.  Or I think so anyway.  But I also think Fritos and an entire can of bean dip is a great idea, so what do I know, really?

The roses came from the Uber Chic Beauty Love and Marriage 03 plate that just released.  I’ve been using it a ton lately, so you all should definitely check it out.

February’s polish is called You Are Enough:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  That is one heckuva glowy pink.  Wowwwww.  Someone help me put my mouth back on my face, please.  My brain’s stopped holding it closed.  And look, more flakies!  Seriously, Taryn, what are you doing to me? I do not look attractive with my tongue lolling about outside my body.

This one is a dark pink jelly based holo with shimmering pink/orange glass flecks and flakies that shift green/blue/purple.  Again, I did this one in two coats, but if there’s one polish to justify a trip to Polish Mountian, this one might be it.  One hundred layers sounds like a party I can get into.  Cuz although it might be one of the stupidest things I could ever do (aside from that one time where I jumped on a trampoline in boots; ugh), the fact it doesn’t require pants makes it so very appealing.

Better sit down before looking at these:

You okay?  Need a rag for your forehead?  I know.  Nail polish makes you sweaty sometimes.  I get it.

More kinda okay nail art:

Again, used the Uber Chic Beauty Love and Marriage 03 plate, and stamped on some heart images using a blue stamping polish that I thought kinda matched the flakies.  It didn’t really, but it turned out okay.  One thing for sure:  this polish is a true stunner and if it’s not going in your basket, you might wanna consult a doctor CUZ SOMETHING IS WRONG.
The round up:

I can’t think of any better way to spend your Friday night than throwing a couple of these in your shopping cart.  Honestly, you were just gonna put on sweatpants anyway – might as well be useful about it.

These polishes are part of the Messages in a Bottle series (as I mentioned), and despite the fact they are January and February offerings, you will be able to snag these any time.  Except let’s go ahead and take care of that now, just in case.  Release date is Friday, January 27 at 9pm EST so make sure you have Post-It Notes on all your surfaces.  Then click here to shop. There’s an initial preorder thru January 31 with shipping to start one week later, then once all that’s done, they will be fully in stock in February. 

Can’t wait to see what the year holds for Anchor & Heart – what more empowering, uplifting messages we will find.  I’m okay with fast forwarding to March anyway.  It can stop being 40-degrees any time now.

Later, loves!

Noodles Nail Polish: Winter Collection 

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Since January 1st, I have lost a total of .6 pounds, and I don’t know about you but I’m celebrating.  Someone get me a Starbucks, cuz I. HAVE. EARNED IT.

Okay but for real.  Ugh.  Barely half a pound?  Certainly it’s not for my lack of trying.  I mean, I’m not exercising or anything – don’t get too crazy! – but I switched from my normal creamer with a splash of coffee to the most boring cup of tea you could ever imagine.  And my husband makes us sandwiches for dinner practically every day now.  That counts for something right?  Cuz if this lifestyle change doesn’t produce results sometime soon, it’s back to Funyuns and butter and happiness.  So, we’ll see.

I did have a moment about 6 years ago where I had lost about 35 pounds.  I didn’t exercise at all because I know me and I know what I’m capable of (couch laying, pajamas, picking things up off the coffee table with my feet cuz I can’t be bothered to move the rest), but I tracked my calorie intake like a drill sergeant.  And it worked.  I was starving for four years straight, but it worked.

Gradually, though, the pounds crept back on and I didn’t even realize it til I found it necessary to hold my pants closed with a ponytail holder instead of the button.  Or just wearing them unzipped altogether, but with a long shirt so I wouldn’t get arrested.  So now I’m back to where I started, and I’m trying to get psycho about losing weight again. I’m older so it’s tougher, and I imagine it’s going to take slightly a bit more work besides eating 3/4 of a cookie instead of a whole one.  Blah.

So while we contemplate the evils of Science, let’s look at nail polish.  I received the Noodles Nail Polish Winter Collection to review for everyone and I’m so excited to share.  Take a look:

SO. STINKIN. PRETTY.  Who wants to put these on all the surfaces?  I do, I do!  Hubby won’t mind, surely.  As long as he gets to keep the remote control, what could he possibly complain about?  Other than all the pajamas, I’d say not much.  I mean, helllllurrrrr, TROPHY WIFE.  Just cuz I can’t seem to get out of my fluffy pink robe doesn’t make it any less true.

First up is Ice, Ice Baby:

Heart eyes times a billion.  And the fact it’s named after a Vanilla Ice song makes it even better.  Who else instinctively says “collaborate and listen” when someone tells you to “stop”?  Although, I’m sure for some of you, it’s “hammer time” instead, but don’t worry – you’re wrong and you can go sit back down now.

So this one is a dark grey crelly with scattered holo,  blue and purple shimmer, platinum flakies and various shades of blue and violet glitters.  Opaque in two quick coats, so perfect for those who like to go do stuff.  Like socialize with friends or be Mom of the Year.  Perhaps you enjoy saving the world from war and poverty.  I, on the other hand, will just be sitting here having my husband bring me stuff on his way back from the kitchen.

Macro porn!

Yum.

Next up is Owl Moon:

I put this one under the lights so you could see the holo better.  Pretty, right?  (Right.)  It’s definitely the epitome of winter, being so grey and all.  However, this one is much lovelier and wayyyy less obnoxious.  Add some lavender and soft white micro flakies, and your brain has officially stopped holding your mouth closed.  There’s a drool-inducing scenario happening right about now, I just feel it.

This macro shows off those lavender flakies a bit better:

How you’re not passed out right now is beyond me.

Next up is Royal Winter:

Okay, for real you’ve passed out properly now, right?  Gah!  Purple lovers, this one is for you.  You cannot turn away.  It’s the polish equivalent of a room full of kitties; therefore, it’s going in the basket whether you like it or not.

This one is a stunning purple jelly packed with silver holo flakies and pink, gold and silver holo glitters, and if this macro doesn’t do you in, I’m pretty sure you’re a robot.

Now here’s Winter Whimsy:

If winter looked like this, we wouldn’t have a problem.  I’m all in for a glitter shower.  Maybe it would appear I have a much more exciting life if I was covered in glitter all the time.  Can’t be a fairy princess without it.  Or a stripper.

So this one is a white crelly with fine silver holo flakies and various shades of blue and purple glitters that are matte, metallic and holo.  I got it opaque in two coats and it leveled out nice, which is hard to do with white crellies.

Check out this macro:

Quick!  Lick the screen while no one’s looking.  Now act natural.

Good job.

Here’s Aurora:

I don’t know about you guys, but this one’s got me all kinds of woozy.  There’s just something about dark polish – and a shifty dark polish at that – that makes it hard to stay upright.  In fact, if someone could just roll me over one of those fancy little fainting couches, that’d be great.  Bring Leonardo, too, just in case.

Who needs a green/blue/purple multi chrome with platinum flakies and pink and silver holo glitters in their life?  Pretty much everyone, so lucky you, you’re buying it.

Lastly, this is Eskimo Kiss:

This one was a surprise favorite.  I had no idea how pretty this combo would be.  Grey and copper?  Yes, please.  Plus you get copper shimmer AND copper glitter, and I’m not even sure that’s enough.  The world needs more copper.  Copper and lattes and no pants on Sundays.  And then world peace is surely to follow.

Then I attempted some nail art:

Okay, I like that one.  Used some heart chain vinyls from Polished Vino and they are so super cute.  And since Valentine’s Day is coming up, I guarantee I’ll do at least 87 more manicures with these.

Scroll past this one:

Keep scrolling I said.  Ugh.

To be fair, I don’t necessarily hate it, but the stamping image I chose didn’t mix well with such a blingy polish.  How many of you know this is a cracked floral pattern?  Like roughly zero?  Sounds about right.

Used the Caption Polish stamping plate #4, just so you know.

A good ole classic french tip with a twist.  I’ve done manis like this before in the past, and I feel like it could be my go-to if I didn’t think it’d get boring after a while.  But crellies and coordinating glitters just look so good together.  And these neat and tidy lines soothe my OCD like nobody’s business.  I’m just gonna close my eyes and smile like an idiot for a second. BRB.

Last one, and my absolute favorite:

Someone hand me my horn so I can toot it cuz I adore this design.  Freaking ADORE IT.  I may start a trend with this one, which all I can say is FINALLY cuz after that record-in-the-hair debacle in the 7th grade, where I put my ponytail through the middle of one and only one single person took notice, I’d say my time has officially come.  Yes?  Yes.

I used the Lina’s Feeling Shapely 01 stamping plate, one of my favorites, and double stamped in two colors.  Thank goodness for clear stampers is the point of this mani.  Oh, and accolades, you know, if you’re not busy.

The round up:

This is a spectacular winter collection.  The colors in here all speak winter to me, and I can’t think of any logical reason why you’re not buying every single one of them.  All beautiful two coaters, vibrantly colored, and flawless.   Want, want and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

So set some alarms – minimum of 17 – so you don’t miss out.  These release Friday, January 27 at 5pm EST, and they’re a one stock deal.  Are you properly panicked now?  You should be.  Click here to order first, relax second.  Buy me a Starbucks third, cuz this blog post took 18 years to write.

Later, loves!

Pandora’s Box Collaboration Indie Box: March 2017

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Three things about bathrooms that I do not approve of:

1)  Those giant cheese wheels of toilet paper you spin for a minimum of 18 hours looking for the start of the roll;

2)  The fact that hand dryers now apparently blow poo germs all around the room, according to one of the worst articles ever written; and

3)  Snakes now live in toilets because OF COURSE THEY DO.

Listen, I’m a worry wort, hypochondriac, anxiety-ridden OCDer (i.e., fun at parties!), so I can’t have this kind of knowledge in my head.  I mean, the cheese wheel of toilet paper is more of a nuisance thing, but the hand dryers and the snakes?  NO THANK YOU.

I love the hand dryer.  Really love it.  It’s warm and relaxing.  My hands are always so dang cold anyway, so sometimes I go to the restroom to pretend pee just so I can stick my hands in the hand dryer.  Plus, when is the last time you waved a dripping wet hand under an automatic dispenser begging it to release a little tiny square of paper towel only to get nothing, nada, in return?  Probably like 15 seconds ago, right?  So yeah, the hand dryer solves all that useless exercise, which is tops in my book.  BUT NOT ANYMORE.  Apparently, unless I want a nice mist of someone else’s bacteria all over my face, I’m gonna have to pick fights with the paper towel dispenser instead, wasting energy, time and possibly some dignity.  Cuz lord knows cuss words are gonna come out.  Great.

But that snake thing.  Now that’s a whole other issue altogether.  Who wants this?  Anyone?  NO.  Snakes get two places:  zoos and jungles.  That’s it.  Everything else is mine.  Whoever is in charge of toilet pipes (plumbers? Jesus?) needs to fix this immediately. Cuz I can deal with just about anything (well, aside from weird breathe-y noises from the stall next to me cuz what is happening in there?!), but a snake just having a little swim inside my toilet bowl?  DONE.  I’ll just hold it for the next 37 years instead, thanks.

Now that we’re all properly creeped out by sheer evidence I need to stop scrolling the internet at 2am with one eye closed and sleeping, let’s go to our happy place: NAIL POLISH.  I received the March edition of the Pandora’s Box to review for you today.  This collaboration box is hosted by Athena & Aphrodite and contains polish, nail wraps, makeup and bath and body items contributed by other indie brands that rotate from month to month.  March is (appropriately) St. Patrick’s Day-themed – which means a whole lot of green is about to happen.  Look:

Eeeeee!  Happiness is everywhere!  Aside from those fake flowers, everything in here is a cutie patootie.  However, I paid $1.99 for those flowers, so I had no choice.

First, let’s talk about the contributions offered by the host, Athena & Aphrodite.  Angela did two things, a polish and an eyeshadow.  Let’s look!

Here’s Pot O’ Gold:

You know I love dark polish, so I was super on board with this one.  Base here is a creamy black and it’s loaded with some awesome gold flakies.  I did two coats, even though it covered really well in one.  But two makes it all smooth and perfect, which is all we ever want in life, right?  Well, maybe Leonardo could come bring me a Starbucks.  But THEN we’re all good.

Some macros for your flakie pleasure:

And just for funsies, I added a matte top coat and the effect looks amazing.  Proof:

Told ya.

The other item from Angela is this gold eyeshadow called Athena’s Treasure:

Look at me trying to be a beauty blogger.  Don’t worry, it gets worse: 

Bahahah.

In my defense, it was either this or I was gonna have to do a full face of makeup, but it’s Saturday and full of pajamas, sooooo …

I love this gold color though.  It’s nice and shimmery but not over the top.  It’s not GOLD! with jazz hands, but more just gold with like some sweatpants on.  Comfy casual gold is what I’m saying.

Next item in the box are some shamrock nail wraps by Freya Wraps:

Yep, guess who never uses nail wraps?  But I tried, so blogger points for that, right?  They were pretty easy to put on, and I definitely recommend not skipping the blow dryer part because they do smooth out considerably once they’re warmed up.  I have a pretty decent C-curve to my nails so I had a bit of trouble getting out all the wrinkles, but if you are used to wraps and love wraps, I have no doubt you’ll enjoy these and make them look a billion times better than I have here.

Now we have this lotion bar from Nailed It Hawaii: 

I’ve never used a lotion bar before and wasn’t really sure how to apply it. Apparently I was overthinking it, cuz you for real just rub it on your body. That’s it. The heat from your skin will melt the lotion and then you just rub it in. Easy peasy.  Consistency is like a thick balm so it doesn’t melt to liquid or anything but it sinks in relatively fast which to me is very important.  Sticky lotion hands is the equivalent of picking macaroni and cheese out of shag carpet.  In other words:  gross.

But then I turn the bar over and there’s the cutest flower design embedded on its backside.   Well drat.  That’s precious.  Looks like this thing is getting displayed on my bathroom sink for the next 8 years then cuz how I can go messing up something so pretty?  Despite all it’s butters and oils and sweet orange and grapefruit.  In fact, I’ll just sit it right next to this countertop rack where I’ve hung a little turquoise towel that no one’s allowed to touch.  Even if all the other towels are dirty and your hand is on fire.  Sorry.  Decoration 101.  Everyone knows that.

Next item is a polish from Little Black Dress Nail Lacquer called Celtic Myth:

Is that angels singing? Prolly.

Guys, it’s GREEN.  The color of fresh, new beginnings.  The color that brings me back to life.  The color against which all other colors need to be measured, because not much is more perfect.  Seriously, I checked.

Look at all this holo and gold shimmer.  I die!

Okay, last item in the box is this foaming sugar scrub from Handmade Natural Beauty:

About 15 minutes post bath, and I literally DO smell like an Irish Spring.  It’s wonderfully clean and refreshing since most of my bath stuff smells like coconuts or like I’ve been suntanning in the backyard.  Which we know can’t be true cuz my backyard is outside and I don’t go outside cuz outside requires pants.  Or so says society.

Anyway, the scrub is very soft which I like.  And it does foam up once it’s mixed with water, although not an overload of foam.  Plus, if you don’t enjoy the feeling of oil left on your skin after a scrub, you’ll love this.  If not, then I absolutely KNOW you’ll love this.  I opened the jar, annnnnnnddddddd:

I won’t lie: I thought those were candies and got really super excited.  Never mind the fact that would make no effing sense whatsoever.  I looked at the jar, and the label says to trash the sugar decorations (SUGAR?!  So still not candy?) but the little swirly ball in the center is a glycerin soap.  Fun!  Although still slightly disappointed.

Basically what I’m saying is someone needs to head this way with a candy bar.  STAT.

Here’s the purchase deets on this box:

Cost:  $34.99

Availability:  Pre-sale is open right now and will run through February 15.  Shipping will start in the beginning of March.

Click here to shop the Athena & Aprhodite store.  Select the “Pandora’s Box” section on the left hand side.

Also, there is a giveaway going on over at the Pandora’s Box Instagram page.  For a chance to win one of these boxes, click here to enter.  Rules for the giveaway are listed under the photo.

Okay, guys, that’s all for now.  Hope everyone is having a fabulous Saturday.  I only had to leave the house once today (for groceries in an effort to “sustain life”; ugh) but I left my pajama shirt on and wore it with jeans, so it wasn’t too terrible.  Huge night of swatching ahead of me so I can write more blogs for you.  Get excited!  (Seriously.  DO IT.)

Later loves!

 

MDJ Creations: The Holographic Multi Chromes

Standard

Wanna justify spending your husband’s entire paycheck on nail polish?  Pick something that he did, like, oh … let’s just say he accidentally shaved off his beard that he’d been growing since your honeymoon.  A special beard.  A beard that was borne out of your love and commitment, and the fact he didn’t want to pack a razor in his suitcase.

You know those trees you plant in memory of something or someone?  It was a beard like that.  You get my point:  it was a symbolic beard.  And then let’s say there’s a restock of a 7-piece holographic multi chrome polish collection that you missed or didn’t know about the first time, and you wanted to buy every last one of them before they go away again.

WELL YOU JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD.  I mean, your husband just shaved off his honeymoon beard!  He clipped away an important part of the foundation of your relationship.  How do you come back from that?  Spoiler alert:  you don’t.  So enjoy your financial freedom ladies!  I’m pretty sure anything that happens next is completely and 100-percent-ly justified.  Christian Louboutins, I’m coming for you!

But baby steps.  Let’s buy these down below first.

So, yes, a restock is happening over at MDJ Creations.  Melissa sent me her line of holographic multi chromes to show off for you, and they’re a super pretty bunch.  So hold onto your britches real tight – and grab your smelling salts just in case.

First up is Beauty:

This one is a burgundy leaning purple with golden edges.  There’s probably lots more colors in here cuz that is the point of a multi chrome, but the ones that stick out to me the most are the purple and gold.  Beauty is beautiful, is she not?  (She is.)

Now here’s a bunch of photos:

Dead.

Still dead.

Well, that was fun.  Let’s go again!

Next is Carpe Noctem:

This one is an aqua green with an amazing purple shift.  Quite possibly my favorite out of the whole bunch.  I wore this color on both hands – thumbs included, and they hardly ever get their turn to sparkle.

You see, this is how polish swatchers gauge something gorgeous.  Did you wear it longer than 24 hours?  Did you put it on both hands?  Were the thumbs involved?  Yes, yes, and yes.  I’m not even gonna pretend were not a bunch of weirdos.

This holo will have your mouth just hanging wide open in a super unattractive way:

Didn’t it?!  Ugh, so amazing.  I want this everywhere, on all the surfaces.

Now here’s Divinity:

This one is a luscious royal purple with these golden, orange-y edges.  Again, most likely there’s a trillion other colors in here, but I’m just telling you what I see the most.  On the other hand, I swatched this one after breathing secondhand pot smoke at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert for 2 hours straight.  I might’ve been high; I dunno.

OMG, was I high?!  Can it even happen like that?  For real, 15 seconds after the concert started, here comes the pot smoke.  Then I became some stranger’s mother.  Alright, who’s smoking pot?  Hand it over!  Security!

Pretty sure I’m the most boring person on the planet.

And then here’s Double Rainbow:

Again, swatched in the middle of my pot fog, I’m pretty sure this is a purple-leaning pink with a golden green shift.  Might be a touch of red or copper in there.  A bit of orange maybe.  I DON’T KNOW.  I JUST DON’T KNOW.

Ugh, I’m never going to a concert again.  The anxiety of the whole situation is too much for this goody two shoes.  If I can’t manage to drink one wine cooler in under three hours, then you can imagine what’s happening to my brain right now.  Aside from all the normal stupid stuff, that is.

Back to the polish.  Okay, there’s definitely a purple/golden/green thing going on.  Whew!  I’m putting pajamas back on.

Next is Earth’s Ember:

This one is a red-leaning pink with golden orange-y brown edges.  Am I not the best color describer ever?  I’m so good at this, guys!  SO. GOOD.

Did I tell you these could all be one coaters if you weren’t picky?  They cover really well in a single layer.  However, I did two just to make sure everything was smooth and perfect.  I’d say “like my life” but we all know better.  You read this blog, right?

Here’s Harmony:

I know I know I know!  This is a pink with a green shift, 100 percent.  Hands down.  No denying.

Or is it purple?

Either way, it’s stunning.  These multi chromes will have you sticking your fingers in people’s faces unapologetically.  Look at mah nails!  LOOK.  DO IT.  Maybe you’ll touch random things like you’re about to give them away on The Price is Right:  a lovely coffee urn, a flashy black stapler, a lunchroom turnstile handle bar.  Your nails will look fabulous lingering on just about anything.  Everything else will be attached to a crazy person, though, just so you know.

Lastly, this is Intelligent Design:

This one rivals the green one up top as being my favorite.  It is beyond pretty.  The blue with that purple shift … ugh.  I might’ve died again just now.

So Melissa posted a live swatch of this polish on her Instagram and gave it a much better color analysis than I did. She said it’s a blue to pink to violet to purple with a golden yellow flash.  Well I got two of them right, so …  I just hope these swatches speak for themselves.  Multi chromes are shifty little beauties and with the added holographic rainbow on top, you could literally say it’s all the colors in the world and technically be right.

But whatever way you look at it, they’re all going in your basket so nothing else truly matters.  Moot moot moot.  The point is MOOT.  Still your favorite blogger though right?  Right.

The round up:


Okay guys, get your shopping hand ready cuz the restock will be going live this Friday, January 20 at 5pm CST.  These polishes plus others will be heading back to the shop for one more hurrah.  Set alarms, put Post-It Notes everywhere, then click here.  I mean it.

Later, loves!